Prioritizing Self So That You Can Show Up for Others

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that is not how I wanted to show up.
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So I had to make a decision.
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I had to make the decision to start prioritizing me so that I could show up as my best self, so that I could pour into others.
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Did it feel selfish?
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Probably at first because I felt disconnected.
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I felt like I was putting me first.
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I'm Dawn Laughlin, certified health coach and fellow RA warrior.
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It wasn't all that long ago that I was in this place where I was fearful of the uncertainty of my future, wondering when my next flare would come or wondering when the pain would let up.
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Fast forward through many trials, errors and lessons learned and you'll find a gal who is stronger, healthier and more confident in her future than ever before.
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Yes, I still have RA, but RA doesn't have me.
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I believe our lifestyle, food choices and mindset greatly impact the way our bodies handle rheumatoid arthritis.
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I created the Thrive with RA podcast to explore the science-based ways to realign your health.
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Through these three pillars and so much more, we'll be navigating both the messy and the blessings that come from living a life with RA.
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Each week, you'll get a good dose of education, inspiration, encouragement and hope as you take small steps to improve your health and overall life.
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If you've been diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis or are still trying to figure out if the symptoms you're feeling are indeed rheumatoid arthritis, you are in the right place.
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My friend, let's get started.
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I want to share two things with you.
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As you are wrapping your head around this new diagnosis of rheumatoid arthritis, or as you are in the trenches, trying to survive the day-to-day, doing all the things that you do as women, as wives, as mamas, as sisters, as friends.
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Our heart is to serve and pour into others.
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We can't do that from an empty cup, and yet we expect ourselves to, and this is one of the things that I struggled with so much, because that's what my heart is is to serve and love and show up for everyone.
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But I didn't have the energy and I had pain and I had things that were standing right in front of me that was changing the way I was interacting with other people.
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That is not how I wanted to show up.
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So I had to make a decision.
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I had to make the decision to start prioritizing me so that I could show up as my best self, so that I could pour into others.
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Did it feel selfish?
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Probably at first, because I felt disconnected.
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I felt like I was putting me first, but it wasn't until I started to do that consistently and I started feeling the relief that then allowed me to keep going, that momentum was building, that I was able to then start to understand the importance of self-care pouring into yourself so that you can pour into others.
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Now, the second thing that I want to talk about is this thing that we have, this desire that we have to maybe not share it with people that are so close to us, because we either don't want them to be afraid for us or we don't want anyone else to see that we aren't strong.
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Because you are strong, you are incredibly strong.
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You're beautifully and wonderfully made and there is strength to be found within, and it's important to be able to share your journey with people that you trust, because they're going to be there for you and they're going to understand the days that you aren't.
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You can't be full-on as you are working to heal your body and find a better balance in your overall health, but if we don't share where we are in that journey, if we're afraid to disclose that, it makes it really hard for anyone else to understand.
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That said, there are some people that are never going to be on board.
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They're never going to understand.
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They're always going to compare your joint pain to oh, I have arthritis as well.
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It is not the same.
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We know that Others aren't going to be able to wrap their heads around that.
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So if there are people that are in that camp that aren't gonna be able to understand it, then you definitely want to not share that with them.
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But for those that are in your tight circle, that know you, that love you, that would want to be there to support you and celebrate you and cheer you on as you start to make changes in your diet, it's so important to let them in on it.
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And I share that, because when I was first diagnosed, my kiddos were in their junior and senior years of high school and one already knew which college he was going to and the other was starting the process of touring colleges and all I could think of was like I don't want to get in the way.
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I know they love me so much.
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I would never want them to think for a second maybe I shouldn't go, cause they were both looking at out of state schools, um, where their hearts were, you know, feeling drawn to for their career, you know for their future, and I didn't want to get in the way of that.
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So for probably four months, my husband and I made the decision to keep it to ourselves.
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And, uh, I remember talking to my mother-in-law and sharing this with her and she was like what is it exactly that you're afraid of?
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And I'm like that is such a great question, because then I had to get real with those feelings and understand that it was my fear and assuming that fear onto them that was keeping me from sharing, when they understood, of course, what was going on and wanted to just be there and help me.
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But I couldn't get that help if I wasn't willing to share that.
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And so I just think it's really important, as you are in this journey of trying to find better health, that you really remember you have got to be open to caring for you.
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This isn't going to work if you aren't going to care for you, because you can't fix what needs to be fixed, and I mean fixed in the sense that there's some cellular damage that you want to work to repair, and you can't do that if you aren't willing to prioritize you.
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So you have to understand what is in that way?
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What is in the way?
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What's keeping me from wanting to take those steps?
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Because my family wants me to feel my best, from wanting to take those steps?
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Because my family wants me to feel my best.
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I would want my child or my husband to tune in and to really help rebuild their health.
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Isn't it true that they would want that for me?
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And I put that question to you Isn't that true that they would want that for you?
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It's so important that we don't get in our own way, because it will keep you stuck.
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It will keep you in a vicious cycle of the pain and the fatigue and that feeling of isolation when others don't know.
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And again, those that know, some are not going to understand, so it will feel isolating.
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And then some are going to be there.
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They're your ride or dies.
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They will be with you through every storm, every flare and on that healing journey and stand on your side and say look at how far you've come.
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Those are the ones you want to make sure understand what's going on so that you can start this journey to truly rebuilding your health and really get back to living your best life, showing up as your best self and being able to pour into those that you love so, so dearly.
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I hope that this short but super sweet little encouragement is encouraging you and that it helps you take a different perspective as you are thinking about your rheumatoid arthritis and what it looks like, in your journey toward deciding to step into this healing space and healing journey, or deciding to share with others what's going on so that you can start to truly find a new balance in your health.
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I hope that this has served you and that you feel blessed.
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I'll be here next week, same time, same place.
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Bye for now, thank you.