Businesses in the U.S. are losing an estimated $2 billion a day to rudeness and incivility. Not layoffs, not bad strategy, just people being sour, sarcastic, or careless with each other. Dr. John O'Brien has spent 30 years as a psychologist watching what that does to people, and he's spent the last several turning it into a mission: teaching leaders and teams how to catch it before it wrecks a culture.
Guest: Dr. John M. O'Brien is a licensed psychologist, executive coach, and founder of Activate Success, and the author of Rudeness Rehab: Reclaiming Civility in the Workplace and Your Home Space.
In this episode:
- 00:40 — Kent's intro and why 1 in 3 promotions fail
- 01:44 — John's path from psychotherapy to workplace civility
- 05:00 — The billion-dollar cost of incivility
- 08:44 — How social media and digital tools fuel workplace rudeness
- 12:54 — Return-to-office mandates and the narcissism research behind them
- 17:57 — The three types of incivility, and the one John worries about most
- 23:19 — What leaders and HR should actually be doing about it
- 31:50 — The BAM framework for staying calm under pressure
- 39:16 — Advice for leaders stepping into a new role
Resources mentioned:
- SHRM's research on the cost of workplace incivility (shrm.org)
- Dr. Christine Porath's research on civility at work
- Andrew Huberman's physiological sigh research, Huberman Lab (hubermanlab.com)
- Adam Grant, Marissa Shandell, and Courtney Elliott's study linking CEO narcissism to return-to-office mandates (fortune.com)
- Rudeness Rehab: Reclaiming Civility in the Workplace and Your Home Space (rudenessrehab.com)
- Civility Matters, John's podcast - (https://civilitymatters.buzzsprout.com )
Links for today's show:
Music for this podcast comes from a live recording of the song Needle & Thread and is provided with permission by Pert' Near Sandstone. Check them out on pertnearsandstone.com and on all major streaming platforms.
Enjoyed the episode? Leave a rating and review wherever you listen, it helps more leaders find the show.
