WEBVTT
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I was trying to exercise and I had no energy.
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I had no motivation.
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And I asked myself a very simple question that I had never asked before.
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Why?
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Why am I doing this?
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Why am I exercising?
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I discovered my why in that moment that if I take care of my mind, body and spirit, my mind, body and spirit will take care of me.
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So welcome back to Success Engineering.
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I'm your host, Michael Bauman I have the pleasure of having Brad Carlson on.
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He's a certified health coach, a spiritual practitioner, author, speaker.
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He helps other people on the of self-discovery, and we're gonna get into what that looks like for him as well, on how to become fit, happy, healthy, based on what works for them and how they actually interpret what that looks like.
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So very, very fascinating.
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He's the creator of Mind Strong Mindset Training Academy audio programs.
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So it helps you develop the mindset you actually need to become the better version of yourself.
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He's coached hundreds of people.
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He has a bunch of nutrition and fitness certifications.
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He's done 30 endurance events, including the Spartan trifecta, studied martial arts philosophy in five different countries, black belts.
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I mean, I'm just gonna keep going.
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Aikido, hapkido, Japanese sword, black belts.
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It's, it's amazing.
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So this is gonna be a fun conversation.
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He loves adventure, loves travel.
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It's gonna be, it's gonna be great.
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So welcome to show
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Oh wow.
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Thank you so much for having me here, Michael.
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Gosh, that was an incredible introduction.
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Thank you.
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Oh, there you go.
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You've had an incredible life, but it wasn't always Well, doesn't always like that.
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So let's start, we're gonna start in the, in the rough, uh, probably one of the hardest periods of your, your life.
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Just dive right into that.
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So, can you talk about, you know, around that 2011, you know, period of time and you really hit, hit a low spot, and can you share that period of your life and how it just started the journey of discovering yourself and what, what you became up to this point?
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Yeah, it actually started in 2009 when I was that Couch Potato that was really overweight.
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I was 38 years old at the time, and I had come back to America at 30 and then like everybody I got cut up in, in the work, you know, work life cycle.
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I, all I did was work, come home, I'd sit on the couch, watch tv, and was just completely exhausted.
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I was sitting on the bed one day in my bedroom and I was disgusted with the person I had become.
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I was just so disappointed in myself.
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I was very overweight, 50 pounds to be exact, and I had what I call the couch potato belly, the Santa Claus belly, the spare tire, I call it the 18 pack or something like that, and, and yeah, my life was spiraling downhill very quickly.
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Starting in 2012, the divorce hit.
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From 2009 to 2012.
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I was still in the midst of what they call that yo-yo cycle, trying to gain lose, gain, lose, and still trying to, to figure all this stuff out.
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2012, I went through the divorce and lost my house to foreclosure when the economy in America collapsed the housing market in 2008.
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My house went to the bank in 2013.
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I signed the divorce papers I remember on a Friday, and had to turn the keys over to my house to the bank on a Saturday and then couch surf for a month.
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That was, oh my gosh,.
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The whole time was still trying to Figure out the whole health thing.
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I didn't even get my head wrapped around the whole health thing for probably at least two more years.
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If I knew what, obviously what I know now, then it'd be very different.
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My life would've been very different.
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But I didn't.
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It really began in 2009 with just being overweight and I just become purely disgusted and disappointed in myself with, you know, how did I let myself get this way is the common question.
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How did I let myself get so lethargic?
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How did I let myself get so outta shape?
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My self-esteem was in the toilet.
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If I think about it now my physiology is changing a bit.
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Like I can feel the pain coming back inside of me, that period of my life.
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It's like I wouldn't even recognize that person anymore if they were sitting here.
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But still definitely a painful part.
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But again, what they say doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.
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That is true.
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It took that pain to get me to change my mindset, change my health, change my nutrition to propel my life forward to where I am now.
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So I can look back at it now and say that was the best thing that ever happened to me.
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Mm-hmm.
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That's one thing I would tell listeners right away, is whatever you're going through, you'll look back five years from now and say that was one of the best things that ever happened to me.
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Mm-hmm.
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uh, doesn't seem like that in, in the meantime, but there's always a reason for whatever is happening is happening.
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And if you can just kinda like a surfer on the wave.
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If you could just ride the wave to the shore eventually it will end and your life will be better.
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But you gotta want to make it better.
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You gotta want to change, you gotta wanna step forward.
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And that was a big difference for me is like, enough is enough.
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I'm ready for change.
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I'm ready to get in shape, I'm ready to lose weight.
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But that was part of the problem.
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I thought it was about losing weight and getting in shape and I learned along the way it has nothing to do with losing weight and getting in shape.
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Well, let's talk about that because I'm curious to hear how.
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how did you start working through both on the, the physical side of things.
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So you go, Hey, I, you know, don't like myself, I don't like how I look, I don't like where my life is at.
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And you go, I wanna make a change with the, with the exercise.
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Um, so I'm curious as like what that started to look like, but then also how did you work through, and this is a process, right, like you said, but how did you start to work through on that emotional side of things, dealing with all of that?
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This is always a funny part of the story.
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When I had that meltdown in 2009, like sitting on a couch, I'm like, okay, I'm gonna do it.
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I'm gonna lose the weight.
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It's happening.
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And an entire year went by.
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This is November of 2009 to November, 2010.
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And I didn't do a single thing.
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Like I didn't lift one weight.
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I didn't spend a minute in an exercise class, I didn't do anything.
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And so a whole year went by.
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And so now I'm a year later, now it's November, 2010, I'm right back in the same spot, sitting on, on my bed in the bedroom, still 50 pounds overweight, still low self-esteem, lethargic, everything.
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And that's when I said, okay, now I call it my secret weapon.
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I'm determined to do this.
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So I had no training, no knowledge, no anything, but I had an exercise bike in the garage.
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So I did the only thing I knew how to do.
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I went and rode it every single day for three weeks, and then I quit.
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The physical part it came in in waves, up and down.
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Like I went for three weeks and then completely quit.
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And then I think it was about a month later, a friend introduced me to one of those home-based exercise programs.
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I'll just.
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Say what it is.
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Not that I'm promoting it or anything, but it was called P90X.
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This is why failure is such a good thing.
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Failure is what drives success.
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Each failure gave me determination to then be more successful the next time I did it.
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It was about a month between the bike and then I started p90x, but here was a little secret that made all the difference.
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When I did p90x, my goal was not to lose weight.
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I didn't care if I lost a single pound.
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What I cared about was finishing the program.
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I told myself, I use some ex expletives.
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Bleep, bleep, bleep Brad, I don't care what you're gonna start this and you're gonna finish it no matter what.
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So, by God, six, seven days a week, I was in my garage.
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It was like 30 degrees Fahrenheit, sometimes two in my garage.
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Cause there wasn't any space in my house to do it.
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I couldn't even do half of the workouts.
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They would do like 20 and I'd do like three.
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But I didn't care, no matter what, I was gonna finish it.
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And I just kept getting stronger and stronger and stronger.
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And I remember one day I was actually running around my neighborhood.
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One lap around my neighborhood was one mile.
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And a really good friend, he was driving along on the car and we hadn't seen each other a while, and he stopped and he's like, my god, Brad, you've lost a lot of weight.
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Mm-hmm.
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And that's when I went, oh, I have, I didn't even really think to check about it.
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But then here's the thing.
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After I finished p90x, the 12 weeks I quit again.
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Mm-hmm.
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Cause I didn't know what to do, and the weight started to come back on.
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I gained 12 pounds within two weeks after finishing p90x.
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Mm-hmm.
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The magic moment for the physical part, I'll get to the emotional part in a second that everybody has to know, and this is one of the very first things I teach now, before you even get into the exercise or diet, if you're starting with me, is I discovered my why.
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That summer I went on a weeklong wilderness survival trip.
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Kind of like, Bear Grills, you know, he takes people on the trip, you eat bugs and you know, build your own shelter and all that.
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So there were 15 of us from all over the United States.
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We got together, we met in the Yakima Valley up in Yakima, Washington.
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And we lived like hunter gatherers for a week.
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And it was during that time that something happened to me.
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Um, It's hard to put into words, but I had a moment where physically I could not move.
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You're hiking all day, 20, 30 miles a day on like one calorie, if you're lucky.
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I mean, it takes like a hundred calories to get a five calorie mud cuz you're, you know, you're trying to catch it or so you're, you're, you're harvesting like roots.
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It takes more energy to harvest the root than you get from eating it.
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I was like dead physically and something happened in me.
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The Japanese call it"kokoro" where your spirit just takes over.
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There is no more physical and your spirit takes over.
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Well, that happened to me on the last day.
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And then I took that back with me from the hike and was trying to, you know, try again.
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I had lost motivation.
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I had fallen off the horse.
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I got back from that weeklong excursion.
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I was trying to exercise and I had no energy.
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I had no motivation.
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And I asked myself a very simple question that I had never asked before.
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So if you're listening, you've got to ask yourself this question.
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Why?
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Why am I doing this?
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Why am I exercising?
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And in that moment, I call it my first miracle.
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The roof on my garage opened up, the heavens parted, I got struck by a bolt of lightning.
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I discovered my why in that moment that if I take care of my mind, body and spirit, my mind, body and spirit will take care of me.
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And that has been the driving force for the past 13 years of everything that I have done, health and wellness wise.
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That is the key to sustaining your health and wellness journey, is that you have got to have a very deep inner personal why that works for you.
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It's exactly what Simon Sinex says.
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Start with why, but it cannot be an external.
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Why?
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Oh, I wanna lose 50 pounds.
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That's not sustainable.
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Oh, I wanna have more energy to play with my grandkids.
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That's a great reason, but it doesn't work in the long run.
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I wanna fit in a certain size wedding dress.
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Well, that's great.
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I wanna be able to travel and, and more adventure.
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Those are good, but they're all external why's.
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I had one client I remember she kept training for the 5k.
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She would do a 5K and then another one, and then another one.
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And as long as there was a 5K or a 10 K, she worked her way up.
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She was good.
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But then all of a sudden, COVID hit.
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There were no more five Ks.
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She gained a lot of weight because everything she was doing was external motivating.
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And it wasn't until we talked that she realized that everything she was doing was externally motivated.
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And anything you wanna start a business, why, why are you doing it?
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You wanna start, you wanna be a husband, a father?
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Why?
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Why?
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You know, why, why this person?
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You know, we'll get into that here in, in, in a little bit.
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But that's what sustained the physical part of my journey and any health and wellness journey is that I discovered my why.
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Sorry, before, before we get into the emotional, I, I would like to talk about how, how you kind of coach, um, people to discover that, why, what does that look like?
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How do people go about discovering their why or their purpose, vision.
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There's something called the seven levels of why exercise.
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And you start with that.
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Okay, well, why do I wanna lose weight?
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Oh, because I wanna fit into a certain size wedding dress.
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Well, why do I wanna fit into a certain size wedding dress?
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Well so I look good.
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Well, why is looking good important to you?
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Well, because then I'll feel better.
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Why is feeling better important to you?
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Because then I'll be able to do the things I wanna do.
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Well, why is doing the things that you want to do important to you?
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Because then I'll be living a life of meaning and purpose.
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You see how we're starting to get more deeper into that?
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So it's basically, it's called the seven levels of why exercise.
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It's in my couch to healthy curriculum.
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It's week, two, actually.
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Week one is mindset.
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Week one is about who are you?
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Mm-hmm.
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that, we'll get into that in a second.
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That's part of the emotion.
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And then week two is the why exercise?
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One area I disagree with Simon.
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He says You only have one why for anything.
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And I don't agree with that.
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I have very deep personal whys, sort of depending on what I have going on in my life.
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They're similar, but in some instances they're really different.
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But you do that seven levels of why exercise and then I work with them on the phone and we keep going and we keep going until the light bulb goes off.
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And in some cases we've gone down to level 20.
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It's called the seven levels of why.
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But in some cases, like for me, I've gone to level 17, I level 24.
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Because until that aha moment, that epiphany, that white bulb, it's not going to be sustainable.
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You know, it may be a great why, but it's not sustainable enough.
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It has to be something that, that resonates with you and it's so personal.
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Yeah.
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I use a very similar thing, um, with my clients.
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It's very simple.
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But if you just asked that question about any area of your life, just going like, why am I actually doing this you know?
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Yeah.
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Or like, what do I really want?
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And then why do I really want it?
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Right?
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Like,
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You start to questions what and why.
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We don't have to ask how, how will, how will I show up on our life?
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But the what and the why, the two most simple questions you could ask that most people on this planet don't have an answer to.
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Yeah.
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When you can answer both of those questions, that's when you're successful.
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Yeah.
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There you go.
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There you go.
00:14:19.163 --> 00:14:25.433
We hit on the hit on the definition of success for you So we have this why, right?
00:14:25.433 --> 00:14:32.033
So you kind of discovered this why, but obviously in life, things come that affect that why.
00:14:32.083 --> 00:14:35.833
There's times where it's difficult and you have to push through, and there's obstacles and there's setbacks.
00:14:35.833 --> 00:14:42.464
How do you go about maintaining that why or keeping your focus on that when things are really challenging?
00:14:43.724 --> 00:14:48.394
It always falls on your why, but that gets into the next, the next question, who are you?
00:14:50.193 --> 00:14:51.244
Who are you as a father?
00:14:51.244 --> 00:14:52.234
Who are you as a husband?
00:14:52.234 --> 00:14:53.494
Who are you as a health coach?
00:14:53.524 --> 00:14:55.203
And then show up as that person.
00:14:55.208 --> 00:14:55.714
Mm-hmm.
00:14:55.923 --> 00:15:05.943
And when you fully understand who you are and embrace your true, authentic self, then it becomes easier and easier and easier to just authentically show up.
00:15:06.244 --> 00:15:10.384
And then what you just described, it rarely, rarely happens for me now.
00:15:10.774 --> 00:15:15.163
That I get down in the dumps and that I'm off alignment and that I'm off balance.
00:15:15.193 --> 00:15:27.649
And when that does happen, I just sit in my chair, maybe get my journal out, do some journaling about the situation that's going on in my life and just let the verbal diarrhea on the paper and like, what is going on in my life?
00:15:27.678 --> 00:15:33.948
You know, and what I, what I've discovered, gosh, we could go off so many areas here that's things like that.
00:15:33.948 --> 00:15:35.823
Everything is an inner solution.
00:15:35.994 --> 00:15:39.563
Every problem going you have going on in your life, the answer is inside you.
00:15:39.953 --> 00:15:44.374
And I've found that it always boils down to a self-worth, self-esteem type of an issue.
00:15:44.423 --> 00:16:06.568
Feeling of a lack of worthiness or a lack of deserving something or, and when you can work through that, and the more you work through those with regards to being a spouse or with being a coworker, or with being a husband or a dad or whatever area in your life, then the less and less that you get pulled back down off that horse into that depression hole, uh, so to speak.
00:16:07.259 --> 00:16:08.609
How, how do you go about doing that?
00:16:08.609 --> 00:16:10.708
Because that's, you know, right up, right up my alley.
00:16:10.769 --> 00:16:24.219
Um, how, how people could feel enough so that worthiness that, you know lack of worthiness when people have that, what are your tips or your advice for how to go about filling, you know, filling the This is
00:16:24.219 --> 00:16:25.739
Week 1 of my Couch to healthy program.
00:16:25.739 --> 00:16:30.578
You have to answer the question, who do you want to be?
00:16:30.688 --> 00:16:32.339
So that's the second miracle.
00:16:32.339 --> 00:16:34.798
So, getting into how I dealt with this emotionally.
00:16:34.798 --> 00:16:35.849
I understood my why.
00:16:35.849 --> 00:16:38.129
I was starting to get into the exercise groove.
00:16:38.134 --> 00:16:39.899
I still didn't know anything about nutrition.
00:16:39.899 --> 00:16:46.499
I was three years into this journey, I was still eating hot pockets and chocolate milk and sugary donuts like every single day.
00:16:47.068 --> 00:16:48.839
I didn't realize you had to eat healthy too.
00:16:48.839 --> 00:16:50.619
I thought all you had to do was exercise.
00:16:50.938 --> 00:16:51.028
Mm-hmm.
00:16:51.269 --> 00:16:57.418
But during the divorce, my dog he would not come over to me and like, come on, boy, come over here.
00:16:57.418 --> 00:17:02.149
And I still to this day have in my mind the look he gave me.
00:17:02.599 --> 00:17:06.683
You know, he was a 20 pound cock spaniel, like a foot and a half off the ground.
00:17:06.683 --> 00:17:09.054
He just gave me this look like, you're such a loser, dad.
00:17:09.284 --> 00:17:09.634
Oh.
00:17:10.288 --> 00:17:13.439
And he turned around and he went back to his bed.
00:17:13.443 --> 00:17:15.634
Dogs sense energy, especially in humans.
00:17:15.634 --> 00:17:20.763
He knew something was wrong with me, and I looked at him and that's when I had my second miracle.
00:17:20.763 --> 00:17:22.354
And that's when I go, oh my God.
00:17:23.013 --> 00:17:27.304
I have been focusing up to this point in my life on everything I didn't want.
00:17:27.784 --> 00:17:31.473
I didn't want to be an uptight, grumpy, irritable husband and father.
00:17:31.534 --> 00:17:32.403
Well, guess what?
00:17:32.409 --> 00:17:35.554
I was a very uptight, grumpy, irritable husband and father.
00:17:35.973 --> 00:17:39.544
I didn't want to be a lethargic, low self-esteem, couch potato.
00:17:39.874 --> 00:17:40.653
Well, guess what?
00:17:40.653 --> 00:17:44.644
I was still a low self-esteem, lethargic couch potato.
00:17:44.644 --> 00:17:44.763
Mm-hmm.
00:17:45.189 --> 00:17:51.634
And in that moment I realized, I asked myself a question, what type of person do I want to be?
00:17:53.644 --> 00:17:57.584
And that's how you stay motivated.
00:17:57.584 --> 00:18:03.433
That's how you propel your life forward is what type of person do you want to be?
00:18:03.433 --> 00:18:05.624
So Michael, what type of husband do you want to be?
00:18:05.624 --> 00:18:07.304
What type of dad do you want to be?
00:18:07.584 --> 00:18:08.604
What type of health coach?
00:18:08.608 --> 00:18:10.584
What type of trainer do you want to be?
00:18:11.094 --> 00:18:11.243
Okay.
00:18:11.243 --> 00:18:21.023
I wanna be someone that is full of love and life and health and passion and enthusiasm and, and dynamic intensity and fun, and can bring that in into every situation.
00:18:21.028 --> 00:18:29.273
And it's just a matter of showing up authentically as who you are every single time and focusing on who do you want to be.
00:18:29.723 --> 00:18:30.203
Mm-hmm.
00:18:30.210 --> 00:18:32.130
Who do you want to be a year from now?
00:18:32.130 --> 00:18:32.650
Mm-hmm.
00:18:32.730 --> 00:18:33.849
five years from now.
00:18:34.039 --> 00:18:35.180
10 years from now.
00:18:35.750 --> 00:18:35.930
Okay.
00:18:35.930 --> 00:18:38.119
Imagine what your life would be like.
00:18:38.119 --> 00:18:43.099
Like best case scenario, shoot, reach for the stars, even past the stars.
00:18:43.460 --> 00:18:45.200
This is the type of life I want to have.
00:18:45.200 --> 00:18:46.519
This is the person I want to be.
00:18:46.519 --> 00:18:54.609
I wanna be that awesome rockstar business entrepreneur that is kicking butt in the world and, helping people and is full of love.
00:18:54.609 --> 00:18:56.710
I call it love, life, health and happiness.
00:18:57.579 --> 00:19:00.339
And so who do you want to be moving forward?
00:19:00.339 --> 00:19:10.730
And when you step into that, that person of who you want to be, that's when your life really shifts and that's when motivation really doesn't become an issue.
00:19:10.759 --> 00:19:14.240
If you don't have your why, and what I'm talking about is your what?
00:19:14.240 --> 00:19:16.279
What type of person do you want to be?
00:19:16.519 --> 00:19:20.920
If you don't know your why and you don't know your what, then you have to have a lot of discipline.
00:19:20.920 --> 00:19:27.309
You gotta have a ton of discipline to be able to move forward, otherwise you will fall off the horse and most people do.
00:19:27.309 --> 00:19:32.359
Perfect example, an Olympic athlete, Michael Phelps, best athlete in the world.
00:19:32.359 --> 00:19:37.970
Some will argue at swimming 18 Olympic gold medals, something like that more than anybody in history.
00:19:37.970 --> 00:19:39.859
And after the Olympics, he didn't.
00:19:40.849 --> 00:19:41.420
Know what to do.
00:19:41.470 --> 00:19:42.430
He was depressed.
00:19:42.430 --> 00:19:45.549
He didn't know what to do because he didn't understand some of this.
00:19:45.549 --> 00:19:54.849
So yeah, we talked a little bit off camera about success, you know, the gold medals, the house, the car, and, and I asked that question, well, is their life any better than mine?
00:19:55.029 --> 00:20:07.809
At the time, 13 years ago I thought it was, but,but now, no, because The key to happiness, the key to success is knowing who you are and being that type of person you want to be.
00:20:08.470 --> 00:20:10.599
So whoever's listening, take a look in the mirror.
00:20:10.599 --> 00:20:12.279
Who am I right now?
00:20:12.819 --> 00:20:13.059
Okay.
00:20:13.059 --> 00:20:16.420
I was a tired, overweight, lethargic, couch potato.
00:20:16.424 --> 00:20:19.779
I didn't figure this out until my dog would not come over to me.
00:20:20.410 --> 00:20:23.470
And then I asked myself that question, who do I want to be?
00:20:23.470 --> 00:20:25.210
What type of husband do I wanna be?
00:20:25.210 --> 00:20:27.009
What type of person do I wanna be?
00:20:27.369 --> 00:20:29.319
What type of father do I wanna be?
00:20:29.650 --> 00:20:32.950
I had been focusing on everything that I did not want in life.
00:20:32.950 --> 00:20:33.470
Mm-hmm.
00:20:33.549 --> 00:20:36.400
I had been focusing on the type of person I did not want to be.
00:20:36.819 --> 00:20:39.394
And unknowingly that's what most people are doing.
00:20:39.400 --> 00:20:43.684
They're focused on the fear, what they don't want, who they don't want to be.
00:20:44.255 --> 00:20:52.595
And when you shift that and start focusing on what you want and who you want to be in life, everything changes.
00:20:52.894 --> 00:20:58.654
And that's where discipline is no longer needed because then it's fueled by passion and desire.
00:20:59.299 --> 00:21:03.680
There's a much, much, much stronger factor force than than discipline.
00:21:03.680 --> 00:21:06.890
Discipline only lasts for so long.
00:21:06.920 --> 00:21:10.849
So after I, I had that epiphany on my dog, it still took me about another year.
00:21:11.329 --> 00:21:13.640
But finally I realized who do I want to be?
00:21:13.640 --> 00:21:15.710
I want to be this healthy person.
00:21:16.279 --> 00:21:19.220
And everything started to fall in line under that.
00:21:19.220 --> 00:21:33.605
I was in the public health department one day and about to reach for the donut and I was in the middle of triathlon training and something, I swear to God it was a higher power that like literally grabbed my wrist and pulled it back and would not let me grab the donut.
00:21:33.605 --> 00:21:35.625
Every day I grab a donut, chocolate, candy.
00:21:35.674 --> 00:21:36.615
Cause it's there every day.
00:21:36.615 --> 00:21:39.555
It's like, how crazy, the health department, we should have like fruits and nuts.
00:21:39.559 --> 00:21:40.454
But we didn't.
00:21:41.615 --> 00:21:46.654
And it's like, if I eat that, will it help me to be a faster swimmer?
00:21:47.464 --> 00:21:55.434
And I went, oh my God, no! And then I asked, well, what can I eat to help me be a faster swimmer?
00:21:55.464 --> 00:21:57.654
And the first thing that came to me was spinach.
00:21:57.994 --> 00:22:01.414
I literally went to the store and grabbed a bag of spinach and ate the whole thing.
00:22:01.424 --> 00:22:04.355
And that what started my journey into healthy eating.
00:22:05.164 --> 00:22:17.674
While you are talking about the nutrition and you know, the exercises as well, can you talk about what are some of your tips in terms of how can people eat well sustainably and how can people exercise well sustainably?
00:22:18.099 --> 00:22:19.805
Again, it goes back to who do you wanna be?
00:22:19.805 --> 00:22:22.744
If you want to be a healthy person, it has to start with that.
00:22:23.365 --> 00:22:27.714
Focus on foods that will get you to that person you want to be.
00:22:27.714 --> 00:22:32.154
So I realized if I eat that donut, will it help me to be healthy?
00:22:32.335 --> 00:22:33.234
The answer was no.
00:22:33.240 --> 00:22:35.250
It's the questions that you ask yourself.
00:22:35.255 --> 00:22:35.799
Mm-hmm.
00:22:36.404 --> 00:22:41.535
So ask yourself questions that will get you to where you want to go, but you have to know where you want to go.
00:22:41.894 --> 00:22:45.315
Ask yourself questions that will lead you to that person that you wanna be.
00:22:45.315 --> 00:22:47.805
But you have to know that person that you want to be.
00:22:48.055 --> 00:22:50.299
Same with exercise, same with exercise.
00:22:50.305 --> 00:22:54.240
Now, the problem I had back then, it was all from a place of fear and place of ego.
00:22:54.240 --> 00:22:54.759
Mm-hmm.
00:22:55.380 --> 00:22:59.940
Another principle is are you doing this from a place of fear or a place of love?
00:23:00.579 --> 00:23:06.809
When I thought about switching to RV tiny living, those millionaires is their life any better than mine?
00:23:06.970 --> 00:23:08.559
And I realized, no, it wasn't.
00:23:08.559 --> 00:23:12.720
And that's when I started to ask the question, well, what is it that you want outta life?
00:23:12.750 --> 00:23:14.579
What is it that I want outta life?
00:23:15.329 --> 00:23:16.890
And I wanted adventure.
00:23:17.430 --> 00:23:21.390
I wanted to live, dream, travel, adventure, explore.
00:23:21.839 --> 00:23:24.099
And the first step of that was tiny living.
00:23:24.099 --> 00:23:27.500
Because for me, that, that sums up adventure in a nutshell.
00:23:27.549 --> 00:23:28.839
You're like camping every night.
00:23:28.839 --> 00:23:33.450
I mean, how cool is that We talked a little bit about what success is earlier.
00:23:33.450 --> 00:23:37.579
That slowly got me really thinking that what is it that I want outta life?
00:23:38.555 --> 00:23:38.855
Okay.
00:23:38.855 --> 00:23:41.015
First and foremost, I want to be healthy.
00:23:41.494 --> 00:23:46.474
And once I started to get that dialed in, then I realized, oh, I need to apply this to other parts of my life.
00:23:46.595 --> 00:23:48.755
Oh, I want to be an entrepreneur.
00:23:48.755 --> 00:23:50.855
I wanna have my own health coaching business.
00:23:51.755 --> 00:23:57.755
Never in a million, trillion gazillion years, even 10 years ago, five years ago, did I think I'd be a health coach.
00:23:57.815 --> 00:24:02.315
Um, Do doing this or podcasting or anything.
00:24:02.315 --> 00:24:04.289
Those are the first three things I teach.
00:24:04.339 --> 00:24:07.204
Your vision, your why, and your who do you want to be?
00:24:08.144 --> 00:24:17.065
Yeah, it's super, super important because especially like you're, you're talking about so many people, you know, in the health and fitness kind of arena, you know, new Year's resolutions, right?
00:24:17.115 --> 00:24:19.305
They set these resolutions, they go, I wanna lose weight.
00:24:19.575 --> 00:24:20.835
Similar to your journey.
00:24:20.924 --> 00:24:22.005
They have those three weeks.
00:24:22.005 --> 00:24:26.424
They, you know, they, they crush it for three weeks and then it's difficult after that.
00:24:26.430 --> 00:24:29.204
But what you're talking about is so important.
00:24:29.204 --> 00:24:37.694
It sounds, it sounds simple, but it is so important for every single area of your life to actually go, who do I wanna be?
00:24:38.174 --> 00:24:43.009
And you're always aligning those behaviors with, is this aligning with that or not?
00:24:43.009 --> 00:24:51.349
And the other aspect, of it is looking at, there's an incredible framework, from Robert Keegan, out of Harvard called Immunity to Change.
00:24:51.380 --> 00:24:54.920
So why do we actually resist change?
00:24:54.950 --> 00:25:00.799
We have this desire and we go, I want to do this well because we have these hidden assumptions and this is what we're talking about as well.
00:25:00.805 --> 00:25:08.180
We have these hidden assumptions that about these different behaviors that we have that keep us where we're at.
00:25:08.184 --> 00:25:22.910
So a lot of times we look at the reasons, you know, to change, but there's also, we have reasons to stay the same You know, there's reasons why we're sitting on the couch and exploring those and balancing that out and going, oh, this is why I'm actually wanting to stay the same and this is why I want to change.
00:25:22.910 --> 00:25:29.329
And then you would go, when I make this choice, when I make this behavior, do I wanna align it with the new identity that I have?
00:25:29.839 --> 00:25:33.440
Um, or do I wanna align it with the old identity that I have in the past?
00:25:33.440 --> 00:25:41.025
And it's cannot be overstated about how important this is in terms of making any change in your life.
00:25:41.134 --> 00:25:41.805
Very important.
00:25:42.184 --> 00:25:47.849
And it's like Tony Robbins said, change will not happen until your pain threshold is at a certain level.
00:25:48.339 --> 00:25:51.369
People will change either out of desperation or inspiration.
00:25:51.369 --> 00:25:52.569
Either one works.
00:25:52.599 --> 00:25:55.359
So in the beginning I was changing out of desperation.
00:25:55.450 --> 00:25:55.630
Mm-hmm.
00:25:56.230 --> 00:25:57.940
uh, this, this wasn't working.
00:25:58.029 --> 00:26:04.980
But now I change out of inspiration cuz I know everything is growing and leading me to my next highest version of me.
00:26:05.029 --> 00:26:06.529
So I'm curious as what, yeah.
00:26:06.529 --> 00:26:08.990
I mean, you have a very unique kinda lifestyle.
00:26:08.990 --> 00:26:12.109
So you have your little tiny RV you're loving life in terms of that.
00:26:12.109 --> 00:26:22.970
Do you have any specific routines that you do, whether it's morning routines, evening routines, just routines that are very helpful for you in terms of aligning yourself with the person you wanna be?
00:26:23.819 --> 00:26:24.924
So, yes.
00:26:24.954 --> 00:26:32.085
And it's constantly changing So to answer your question, the one thing I always do is check in with me.
00:26:32.384 --> 00:26:32.994
Mm-hmm.
00:26:33.045 --> 00:26:38.404
And what I mean by that is I check in with my inner voice, my intuition, and I just allow it to guide me.
00:26:38.434 --> 00:26:38.884
Okay?
00:26:39.214 --> 00:26:41.484
Tomorrow morning I'm gonna get up and I'm gonna read for an hour.
00:26:42.065 --> 00:26:43.119
That's my morning routine.
00:26:43.609 --> 00:26:46.640
Tomorrow morning I'm gonna get up and do my five mile run.
00:26:46.670 --> 00:26:47.539
Very first thing.
00:26:47.660 --> 00:26:48.980
That'll be my morning routine.
00:26:49.519 --> 00:26:53.089
Tomorrow morning I'm gonna get up and just meditate for an hour.
00:26:53.279 --> 00:26:55.680
Tomorrow morning I'm gonna get up and journal for an hour.
00:26:55.684 --> 00:26:59.430
It's not set in stone specific to any, it used to be very rigid.
00:26:59.730 --> 00:27:06.809
You know, 20 minutes of reading, 20 minutes of journaling, 20 minutes of exercise, 20 minutes of meditation, shower, get ready to go.
00:27:07.319 --> 00:27:08.430
Uh, it's not like that at all.
00:27:08.434 --> 00:27:09.599
It's very fluid now.
00:27:09.605 --> 00:27:13.894
So a principle I live by now is I ask myself the question, what's next?
00:27:14.625 --> 00:27:19.414
And we talked about earlier, all these millionaires who are not successful, not fulfilled.
00:27:19.775 --> 00:27:21.815
It's because they're living from a place of fear.
00:27:21.815 --> 00:27:23.404
I'll just use Buddha as an example.
00:27:23.404 --> 00:27:24.454
Completely broke.
00:27:24.960 --> 00:27:25.799
Outta shape.
00:27:26.069 --> 00:27:33.509
Never read a single book, but probably one of the most fulfilled people that the planet has ever seen, because he lived a life from the inside out.
00:27:34.210 --> 00:27:39.119
So my evening routine used to be Journal and read the last hour before lights out.
00:27:39.220 --> 00:27:40.329
This is all changed.
00:27:40.329 --> 00:27:43.684
It used to be the last hour, no electronics, no anything.
00:27:44.055 --> 00:27:47.490
Journal meditation, reading, which sounds pretty good.
00:27:47.545 --> 00:27:53.994
But the difference is I'm doing it from a place of love now, not a place of fear that, oh, if I don't get my reading in today, I won't be worthy.
00:27:53.994 --> 00:27:54.984
I won't be good enough.
00:27:55.615 --> 00:28:00.204
And so it's the same activity, but the reason, the why is very different now.
00:28:00.204 --> 00:28:00.894
Mm-hmm.
00:28:01.039 --> 00:28:01.049
trust.
00:28:01.434 --> 00:28:03.865
Learning to trust the path, trust the journey.
00:28:05.035 --> 00:28:05.335
Yeah.
00:28:05.345 --> 00:28:12.194
I had Lord Richard Layard on, he's the co-editor of the World Happiness Report, and he actually said a very similar thing.
00:28:12.194 --> 00:28:18.519
He said in the morning, just checking in with yourself and the highest version of yourself.
00:28:18.910 --> 00:28:22.450
And using that to set the intention for the day.
00:28:22.500 --> 00:28:22.980
I'm similar.
00:28:22.980 --> 00:28:30.755
My morning routine is more rigid than yours because I do have, you know rigid things like getting kids to school and things like this.
00:28:30.755 --> 00:28:39.785
But I would describe myself as an exercise nomad like you, you do what works for that situation in time.
00:28:41.019 --> 00:28:43.183
How I describe it is having agile habits.
00:28:43.183 --> 00:28:48.403
I have habits that are basically little building blocks in terms of my morning routine, my exercise, things like that.
00:28:48.673 --> 00:28:52.844
And if they get affected, I can move those building blocks to different spots.
00:28:52.844 --> 00:28:54.344
I can shuffle them around.
00:28:54.534 --> 00:28:58.713
We listen to all of these experts and all of these people Hal Elrod, the Miracle Morning.
00:28:58.713 --> 00:29:01.233
You have, you know, very rigid kind of things.
00:29:01.239 --> 00:29:01.703
Mm-hmm.
00:29:01.753 --> 00:29:09.763
And I love talking to so many different people on this podcast cuz very successful people and some of'em have very rigid morning routines.
00:29:09.824 --> 00:29:10.034
Yeah.
00:29:10.064 --> 00:29:11.324
Or just routines in general.
00:29:11.443 --> 00:29:12.854
And some of'em don't at all.
00:29:12.854 --> 00:29:17.324
Some of'em get up at nine o'clock, you know, and are still incredibly successful.
00:29:17.564 --> 00:29:28.604
And so really understanding and experimenting with what, what actually works for you and what actually works for you right now in whatever season you're in is really important.
00:29:28.604 --> 00:29:33.693
And having the grace and the ability to be able to adjust it and not beat yourself up is really important.
00:29:34.023 --> 00:29:34.653
Really important.
00:29:35.263 --> 00:29:38.804
And I would say, just make sure you're doing it for the right reason.
00:29:38.804 --> 00:29:44.864
The first several years of my journey, all those 30 plus races I did, most of that was based in fear and ego.
00:29:45.034 --> 00:29:45.384
Mm.
00:29:46.078 --> 00:29:50.729
Because I thought, and again, it goes back to that question, what is it you really want outta life?
00:29:51.538 --> 00:29:58.409
And I realized that for me in my journey, I didn't want to be one of these hardcore, diehard, you know, ultra ultra type athletes.
00:29:59.038 --> 00:30:01.888
What I really wanted to be was just fit, happy, and healthy.
00:30:02.459 --> 00:30:13.588
And I realized, well, I could be fit, happy, and healthy whether I run a 20 minute mile or I run a 10 minute mile and my body appreciated the 20 minute mile a lot more than the 10 mile and I could walk the next day.
00:30:14.078 --> 00:30:18.038
And I started to go down this, what I call now, the slow, easy path of exercise.
00:30:18.038 --> 00:30:21.338
And especially for men over 40, this really makes a difference.
00:30:22.068 --> 00:30:26.929
You've really gotta back off the intensity and do the slow easy cuz it's much more sustainable.
00:30:26.929 --> 00:30:31.064
I want to be fit, happy, healthy, walking, no wheelchair, none of that stuff.
00:30:31.064 --> 00:30:35.503
You know, walking tall, strong and proud, well into my, you know, sixties, seventies, eighties and nineties.
00:30:36.074 --> 00:30:41.634
I can't tell you how many distance runners I've talked to in their fifties that can barely walk.
00:30:41.689 --> 00:30:45.499
I know one, she did marathons from 20 years old till almost 40.
00:30:45.548 --> 00:30:47.229
She's probably late fifties, early sixties now.
00:30:47.233 --> 00:30:53.324
She can't even barely walk a mile on a treadmill now cause her knees are gone because she overtrained for almost 20 years of her life.
00:30:53.324 --> 00:30:58.273
I don't train for anything specific now, so my exercise routines are very fluid and rigid.
00:30:58.663 --> 00:30:59.953
What do I feel like doing this morning?
00:30:59.983 --> 00:31:01.364
Oh, I feel like walking this morning.
00:31:01.394 --> 00:31:02.773
Oh, I feel like doing weights today.
00:31:02.804 --> 00:31:04.634
Oh, I feel like going to play racquetball today.
00:31:04.993 --> 00:31:05.114
Oh.
00:31:05.114 --> 00:31:06.673
I feel like playing pickleball today.
00:31:06.703 --> 00:31:08.894
You know, something, something that you're always moving.
00:31:08.923 --> 00:31:17.683
Oh, I feel like doing a natural movement session today and, and I have enough experience I can just whip something up like on the spot now and, oh, I only got five minutes.
00:31:17.683 --> 00:31:18.794
I'm just gonna do five minutes.
00:31:18.794 --> 00:31:21.493
Then I got 10 minutes later today, and then five minutes in the evening.
00:31:21.493 --> 00:31:22.574
That's at least 20 minutes.
00:31:22.574 --> 00:31:26.673
I still get in during the day versus one 20 minute session, so, mm-hmm.
00:31:26.753 --> 00:31:33.324
And I, I haven't mentioned this so, to make your health journey sustainable, to make your healthy eating sustainable, any of that.
00:31:33.824 --> 00:31:35.523
It must be a priority.
00:31:35.894 --> 00:31:38.503
You manage your priorities, not your time.
00:31:39.074 --> 00:31:40.574
I cannot emphasize that enough.
00:31:40.733 --> 00:31:41.574
I'm sorry, one more thing.
00:31:41.574 --> 00:31:42.384
I wanna get this in.
00:31:42.384 --> 00:31:45.564
This is a really powerful exercise that I just recently learned.
00:31:45.614 --> 00:31:48.489
All coaches have coaches, so I have my own coach right now.
00:31:49.709 --> 00:31:51.419
And she taught me this a couple months ago.
00:31:51.469 --> 00:31:56.989
To help with the motivation to help with staying on the path is a very simple exercise called daydreaming.
00:31:58.009 --> 00:32:05.328
You know, sit back in your chair for a minute or two and just daydream about the life that you desire about that person you desire becoming.
00:32:05.328 --> 00:32:10.038
Do that two, three times a day for just a minute, and your energies will just fly off the chart.
00:32:10.729 --> 00:32:22.009
And that helps begin to reprogram your mindset to bring you back into, you know, having that high energy and that high motivation where you don't lose motivation, you don't fall off the horse.
00:32:22.058 --> 00:32:22.118
It.
00:32:22.124 --> 00:32:27.398
It's like having consistent, like you're, you're talking about it all, you know, it just continues to come back to that one principle.
00:32:27.403 --> 00:32:37.644
It's like having consistent things in your day, whatever it is that, that allow you to align back with who you are, who you are, or who, who you want to be.
00:32:37.644 --> 00:32:46.614
You know, because all of our behaviors are a reflection of our identities, the values that we have, then the priorities that we have, and then the goals, you know, that we, that we set.
00:32:46.824 --> 00:32:55.733
And so often we focus on the behavior or the goals and like we're talking about, it's like no, focusing on the identity, who you wanna be.
00:32:56.034 --> 00:33:01.193
You know, then you know the values that you have that you wanna show up with in every single situation.
00:33:01.523 --> 00:33:08.124
Then looking at, you know, your priorities and making sure that those are, those are aligned and then your goals reflect that and your behaviors reflect that.
00:33:08.723 --> 00:33:11.844
And kind of the modern culture, modern society, the hustle culture.
00:33:11.844 --> 00:33:14.153
We have a backwards, it's always what do you do?
00:33:14.153 --> 00:33:16.013
We always emphasize the doing first.
00:33:16.013 --> 00:33:19.284
Well, you want to get over depression, well, what will you do?
00:33:19.284 --> 00:33:21.923
We'll go to the doctor or take this pill or whatever.
00:33:22.163 --> 00:33:26.423
But in the native indigenous cultures around the world, they always focus on the person and the being.
00:33:26.453 --> 00:33:27.473
Who do you want to be?
00:33:27.473 --> 00:33:30.384
That started to click in my brain a couple years ago.
00:33:30.384 --> 00:33:37.013
And then as I got deeper into my spiritual studies and went to some other seminars and read other books or something called the Be, Do, Have formula.
00:33:37.493 --> 00:33:40.913
Be the person you wanna be the doing will automatically show up.
00:33:41.814 --> 00:33:44.423
There's a, really, you know, powerful kind of framework.
00:33:44.423 --> 00:33:48.983
It's along those lines that I, that I referenced by a leadership coach called Alan Seal.
00:33:48.983 --> 00:33:53.068
And he talks about, there's four levels of engagement with a situation.
00:33:53.308 --> 00:33:58.138
So when any situation arises, that first level is, you know, just jumping into the drama, right?
00:33:58.138 --> 00:34:04.709
So we all do it at, at times, like, just jump into the drama this did that, you know, I felt this, you know, whatever that is, right?
00:34:05.009 --> 00:34:20.699
But then above that, if, if you go above it, you're able to look at it from a situational awareness level and you go, oh, you know, instead of being, you know, it's this person's fault, this person's fault, I can actually look at it from a, a higher level and go, oh, this is the situation.
00:34:20.699 --> 00:34:21.659
This is what's going on.
00:34:21.659 --> 00:34:22.679
This is how we can fix it.
00:34:22.679 --> 00:34:23.818
This is how we can approach it.
00:34:24.119 --> 00:34:31.739
But what you're talking about is what he references is kind of the level above that is that has to do with choice.
00:34:31.739 --> 00:34:33.329
So it's actually choosing.
00:34:34.139 --> 00:34:35.969
Who do I want to be in this situation?
00:34:35.969 --> 00:34:41.309
So it doesn't matter what happened, what situation it is, whatever at all.
00:34:41.548 --> 00:34:48.309
We can always choose who we want to be in this situation that and that references, you know, like Victor Frankl's Man Search for Meaning.
00:34:48.539 --> 00:34:51.179
Like he is in like we've heard a lot of the things.
00:34:51.478 --> 00:34:51.958
Yeah.
00:34:51.958 --> 00:34:51.960
Yeah.
00:34:52.318 --> 00:34:57.478
But it probably, I mean, it's just like, it's kind of the quintessential book on meaning where he is in.
00:34:58.094 --> 00:35:03.673
As dire situations as you can pretty much possibly think, you know, every right to say, why does this happen to me?
00:35:03.914 --> 00:35:10.664
But he goes, man's ultimate freedom is the ability to be able to choose, you know, how they respond to this situation, choose their emotions.
00:35:10.668 --> 00:35:11.983
And that's extraordinary.
00:35:11.983 --> 00:35:14.653
Like that's some, like, that's not just like a namby-pamby thing.
00:35:14.653 --> 00:35:19.574
He was in the worst situation and you, you're able to, you're able to say that.
00:35:19.844 --> 00:35:28.483
So that level of third level of kind of being able to choose and then that fourth level is the opportunity and when do you focus on who you want to be?
00:35:28.724 --> 00:35:35.384
A lot of times that opportunity just naturally arises to provide the solution for that situation.
00:35:35.574 --> 00:35:37.494
But you have to train yourself to recognize.
00:35:38.454 --> 00:35:39.384
Am I operating?
00:35:39.384 --> 00:35:43.554
You know, like you talked about, am I operating out of fear or am I operating out of love?
00:35:43.554 --> 00:35:45.324
Or who do I wanna be in this situation?
00:35:45.324 --> 00:35:45.384
Yeah.
00:35:45.684 --> 00:35:49.793
Um, and it's, it's totally different way to approach, approach living.
00:35:50.094 --> 00:35:52.284
And it takes practice, it takes training, it takes, oh, it
00:35:52.523 --> 00:35:52.643
did.
00:35:52.643 --> 00:35:53.574
Absolutely takes practice.
00:35:53.574 --> 00:35:53.753
Yeah.
00:35:53.759 --> 00:36:02.733
No, I've been doing this for almost, I'm on my 14th year now, and it's taken a lot of, I guess they call it intentional practice or awareness practice and understanding that stuff.
00:36:02.733 --> 00:36:03.094
Yeah.
00:36:03.123 --> 00:36:04.503
You, you're hitting the nail on the head.
00:36:04.503 --> 00:36:11.494
Choose who you wanna be and then start to have everything revolve, evolve, I should say, evolve around that.
00:36:11.543 --> 00:36:19.034
As far as your meditation routines or just kind of developing awareness, do you have any tips for how people can go about doing that?
00:36:19.884 --> 00:36:29.574
You know, the two tips I would have, one is that daydreaming, take a minute as many times as you can a day and just daydream, imagine the best life and the best version of you.
00:36:30.153 --> 00:36:33.393
There's a meditation that I started doing about six months ago.
00:36:33.393 --> 00:36:34.684
I don't even know how to describe it.
00:36:34.684 --> 00:36:43.059
But if I use the metaphor of a cell phone, when your cell phone is low on battery, you have a cord and you plug it into a charger.
00:36:43.539 --> 00:36:43.688
Mm-hmm.
00:36:43.748 --> 00:36:43.989
Okay.
00:36:43.989 --> 00:36:45.248
And it charges.
00:36:45.818 --> 00:36:52.478
And so what I do, and I actually do this when I'm laying in bed, like the last 10 minutes before I actually get up in the morning.
00:36:52.483 --> 00:36:55.088
So that's, going back to your question, my morning routine.
00:36:55.088 --> 00:36:57.489
This is something I do almost every morning now.
00:36:58.039 --> 00:37:05.579
I lay there and allow your mind, your body, and your spirit just to fill with joy and love and happiness.
00:37:05.579 --> 00:37:07.289
That's the only way I know how to describe it.
00:37:08.068 --> 00:37:25.418
And for someone who's beginning at this, I would just say focus on all the exciting, wonderful things that you have going on in your life and focus on all the exciting and wonderful things that you know, not, that you hope for, not that you wish for, but you know, will be a part of your life in six weeks, a year or whatever.
00:37:25.958 --> 00:37:31.989
You just allow those feelings of love and health and passion and joy just to flow through you and just allow it to charge yourself.
00:37:32.018 --> 00:37:35.798
And that is the most powerful meditation that I do now.
00:37:35.798 --> 00:37:37.659
I do that and then a lot of journaling.
00:37:38.168 --> 00:37:38.289
Mm-hmm.
00:37:38.568 --> 00:37:41.028
okay, this is my life right now.
00:37:41.028 --> 00:37:46.338
This is all messed up with regards to, I don't know, coworker relationship or something like that.
00:37:46.338 --> 00:37:53.088
So I'll just start journaling, just let the pen flow and I'll get about three, four, I mean three, four pages in, and I'm like, oh my God.
00:37:54.599 --> 00:38:00.509
I was being inauthentic towards that person because I had an insecurity, I had a fear about something.
00:38:00.509 --> 00:38:03.539
And then through the journaling, that fear of insecurity will come out.
00:38:04.048 --> 00:38:10.498
Then once I can identify that, I can immediately replace it with what I do want to, I want love and peace and help and happiness.
00:38:10.498 --> 00:38:10.858
Mm-hmm.
00:38:10.949 --> 00:38:14.668
And so next time I'm interacting, I know how to better handle that situation.
00:38:14.719 --> 00:38:15.949
But I would say the two things.
00:38:15.949 --> 00:38:16.219
Yeah.
00:38:16.248 --> 00:38:25.579
Do practice the daydreaming and practice the morning meditation where you just allow your heart to open up and fill with love and joy and peace, and health and happiness.
00:38:25.659 --> 00:38:28.929
Those are the values that I want my life to be about.
00:38:29.679 --> 00:38:33.369
That's who I'm stepping into more and more every day.
00:38:34.164 --> 00:38:43.193
and my vision is, is to become this bigger source and this bigger version of love, health, and happiness for the world, one person at a time.
00:38:43.463 --> 00:38:43.614
Mm-hmm.
00:38:43.884 --> 00:38:46.134
I'm so blessed to have the life I do.
00:38:46.614 --> 00:39:05.494
My lifestyle has not made any sense at all to a lot of people because they're so wrapped up in society's definition of lifestyle, the big house, the car, and, okay, well, you're stuck with, you know, X amount of mortgage every month and I'm traveling to three different countries, which, you know, again, what do you want your life to be about?
00:39:06.164 --> 00:39:12.284
Such a simple question that so many people really have a hard time questioning for me at this stage in my journey.
00:39:12.284 --> 00:39:13.813
And it, it evolves, it changes.
00:39:13.813 --> 00:39:16.543
But for right now, I want my life to be a big adventure.
00:39:16.994 --> 00:39:17.204
Mm-hmm.
00:39:17.264 --> 00:39:23.773
And that's tiny living, that's traveling, that's hiking in the wilderness, you know, all kinds of stuff.
00:39:23.773 --> 00:39:24.614
So yeah.
00:39:24.619 --> 00:39:27.463
What do you want to be about?
00:39:27.494 --> 00:39:30.344
Uh, if I could leave your listeners with anything, it's that question.
00:39:30.358 --> 00:39:32.628
that's a super, super, great spot.
00:39:32.628 --> 00:39:40.579
To kind of wrap up, I did want to talk just a little bit about what you talked about you know, just receiving, the love and the joy and stuff into that.
00:39:40.608 --> 00:39:48.059
A really powerful thing to be able to learn is to how to be able to shift our state in the situations like we're talking about.
00:39:48.059 --> 00:39:57.773
And, I've had some elite, special forces people on the podcast and they talk about how basically it's, it's the principle for training everything.
00:39:57.773 --> 00:40:02.543
You learn to train something in an environment that has low distractions.
00:40:02.548 --> 00:40:08.454
And this is what essentially meditation a lot of times is, you know, it's like, can I change my state to what I wanna be?
00:40:08.454 --> 00:40:10.554
Whether it's peace, whether it's love, whether it's joy.
00:40:10.884 --> 00:40:12.563
Um, can I change that in a situation?
00:40:12.563 --> 00:40:17.304
Maybe there's no kids around, you know, it's quiet, you know, I have headphones on, I'm listening to lovely music.
00:40:17.903 --> 00:40:22.003
But then you start to add in some of the different things that of life, right?
00:40:22.009 --> 00:40:25.034
You start to add in these different situations.
00:40:25.034 --> 00:40:32.514
So for instance, these elite special forces, if you're learning how to shoot, you learn shooting downrange with earmuffs on with very little distractions.
00:40:32.514 --> 00:40:34.914
Then you start to add in different situations.
00:40:34.914 --> 00:40:35.994
Maybe you add in movement.
00:40:35.998 --> 00:40:37.193
Can I still hit the target?
00:40:37.224 --> 00:40:40.594
Maybe you add in, explosions noise, other people shooting at me, right?
00:40:40.594 --> 00:40:42.153
All of a sudden you ratchet that up.
00:40:42.333 --> 00:40:46.804
Can I still perform this skill in complex, chaotic situations?
00:40:47.014 --> 00:40:54.813
So the question is, can you still access those places of peace and joy and love in the complex, you know, situations?
00:40:54.813 --> 00:41:03.514
That's what you talk about, having these things throughout your day where you're reset around accessing those things in, in the context of your, of your daily life.
00:41:03.514 --> 00:41:05.793
So I wanted to, you know, highlight.
00:41:06.813 --> 00:41:08.373
Can I, can I say something on that real quick?
00:41:08.443 --> 00:41:08.884
Yeah.
00:41:09.123 --> 00:41:10.744
I used to have, well, I still have a philosophy.
00:41:10.744 --> 00:41:12.063
Can you do it when you're tired?
00:41:12.494 --> 00:41:21.199
You had a good night's sleep and you got a full breakfast and you can show up and, and you're hot shower and all that, and you can, you know, perform at a high level.
00:41:21.559 --> 00:41:22.699
But what if you didn't have any of that?
00:41:22.699 --> 00:41:24.079
What if you got a terrible night's sleep?
00:41:24.079 --> 00:41:26.869
What if you haven't had a meal in two days, you haven't showered for a week.
00:41:26.869 --> 00:41:28.849
Can you still perform at a high level?
00:41:29.268 --> 00:41:30.829
And the answer to that is yes.
00:41:30.829 --> 00:41:33.349
And the way you do that is, again, who are you?
00:41:33.708 --> 00:41:41.509
If you know in the bottom of your heart that you are an elite warrior, you will, before the situation, you will show up as an elite warrior.
00:41:42.784 --> 00:41:58.474
If you know that you are a father, a husband of love and compassion and kindness before you're in the the chaos of the situation, you will show up as that, and then in the middle of it, you just take a deep breath, quiet, center yourself and remind yourself who you are.
00:41:58.954 --> 00:42:03.574
I am a, I am a husband and father of joy and compassion and love and repetition.
00:42:03.574 --> 00:42:08.914
Like Tony s says, the more you do that practice, that skill, the stronger you'll get and the easier it becomes.
00:42:09.393 --> 00:42:14.074
So to switch your state in the middle of the situation, it's still possible to do that.
00:42:14.074 --> 00:42:17.523
But to do that you've got to deep breath and focus and center yourself.
00:42:17.824 --> 00:42:22.353
Show up as the person you want to be, know who you are and show up as that person.
00:42:22.353 --> 00:42:25.233
And the more you practice, and the more you do that, the easier it gets.
00:42:25.494 --> 00:42:35.623
Another reverend minister friend of mine, she called it your peace bubble, so that when you're in that situation, your peace bubble doesn't get burst Because if your peace bubble burst, you're allowing it to be burst.
00:42:35.623 --> 00:42:39.074
You're allowing those people to rob you of your personal power.
00:42:39.083 --> 00:42:39.653
Mm-hmm.
00:42:40.313 --> 00:42:45.384
And I would say, and this goes, in general, obviously we started talking about like nutrition and, and things like that too.
00:42:45.653 --> 00:42:48.934
Um, even in these situations, like this is, a challenge for me.
00:42:48.934 --> 00:42:55.574
I have times where I do that really well, and then I have times where my kids, where I haven't gotten to sleep, it was crazy and I just go off on it.
00:42:55.574 --> 00:43:00.954
But using that in a, in a very non-judgmental way and just going it's like the fitness thing.
00:43:00.954 --> 00:43:07.684
It's like, maybe this is a weight that at this current point I can't lift, or I haven't trained well enough to lift this weight.
00:43:07.704 --> 00:43:08.639
But it's feedback.
00:43:08.643 --> 00:43:13.798
And I go, I need to learn how to be more peaceful when I'm tired and when, when things are crazy.
00:43:13.798 --> 00:43:15.838
And same with the exercise and nutrition.
00:43:15.838 --> 00:43:22.974
Like when you fall off, quote unquote the wagon, you know, whatever that means, it's not going, I'm a terrible person, it's going.
00:43:23.853 --> 00:43:30.009
oh, I need to learn how, when things are maybe stressful or chaotic or I'm busy at work or I'm really tired.
00:43:30.219 --> 00:43:33.849
How can I still maintain these behaviors that support who I am?
00:43:34.128 --> 00:43:38.088
So I, I think that's a great spot to kind of wrap it up on going.
00:43:38.094 --> 00:43:45.619
Like, you don't have to use that as, as judgmental against yourself, but you can use it as feedback and go, this is something I need to work on.
00:43:45.668 --> 00:43:48.248
And it's not like you failed in, in terms of what you're doing.
00:43:48.829 --> 00:43:50.798
Self, self-care, self-compassion.
00:43:50.798 --> 00:43:51.818
Yeah, you're right.
00:43:51.818 --> 00:43:52.239
Yeah.
00:43:52.699 --> 00:43:55.403
Even for me, I won't be perfect, I guess, or whatever.
00:43:55.403 --> 00:44:05.634
I won't show up as the person I wanna, I wanna show up as, and I used to really beat myself up, but self-care, self-compassion, self-love, self-forgiveness, goes a long way.
00:44:05.634 --> 00:44:09.474
So I've learned to be more kinder, gentler on myself, starting with myself.
00:44:09.503 --> 00:44:09.713
Yeah.
00:44:09.713 --> 00:44:11.724
I've made myself a priority.
00:44:11.728 --> 00:44:12.264
Mm-hmm.
00:44:12.963 --> 00:44:17.923
um, I kind of mentioned this already, but make your health and wellbeing for yourself first and foremost.
00:44:17.923 --> 00:44:20.914
So, for me, my three priorities are God, health and family.
00:44:21.244 --> 00:44:22.954
So that's my number two priority in life.
00:44:22.983 --> 00:44:24.094
My health and wellbeing.
00:44:24.213 --> 00:44:27.094
And that's another way I'm able to sustain this journey.
00:44:27.094 --> 00:44:30.514
Some people, their health and wellbeing is their number 10 priority.
00:44:30.563 --> 00:44:32.784
Everything else revolves around your health and wellbeing.
00:44:32.784 --> 00:44:36.204
So better relationship with your wife, your kids, all that.
00:44:36.204 --> 00:44:39.384
It starts with you and your own personal health and wellbeing.
00:44:39.414 --> 00:44:39.893
Yeah.
00:44:40.373 --> 00:44:41.634
Yeah, absolutely.
00:44:41.634 --> 00:44:44.153
It's very, very important, very important conversation.
00:44:44.483 --> 00:44:48.809
So where can people go to connect up with you if they want to coach with you or just follow what you're doing?
00:44:49.594 --> 00:44:50.344
Yeah, absolutely.
00:44:50.344 --> 00:44:50.643
Thanks.
00:44:50.643 --> 00:44:51.213
Thanks, Michael.
00:44:51.244 --> 00:44:52.293
www.trainingwithcoachbrad.com is my website.
00:44:52.293 --> 00:44:54.153
All my social media handles are on there.
00:44:54.153 --> 00:44:58.454
The link to my own podcast is on there and yeah, trainingwithcoachbrad.com
00:44:58.653 --> 00:44:59.134
awesome.
00:44:59.134 --> 00:45:03.333
I really, I really appreciate the conversation and like I said, you're somebody who's living it.
00:45:03.338 --> 00:45:11.014
You know, living that tiny RV lifestyle and, you know, being happy and joyful every day and it's, it's really important and sharing with other people as well.
00:45:11.014 --> 00:45:11.733
So yeah.
00:45:11.733 --> 00:45:12.184
Thank you.
00:45:12.213 --> 00:45:13.293
Thank you for the time.
00:45:13.983 --> 00:45:14.463
Thank you.
00:45:14.463 --> 00:45:15.423
Thank you for having me, Michael.
00:45:15.423 --> 00:45:16.023
I appreciate it.
00:45:16.414 --> 00:45:17.134
Absolutely.
00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.279
I was trying to exercise and I had no energy.
00:00:02.279 --> 00:00:03.419
I had no motivation.
00:00:03.959 --> 00:00:08.009
And I asked myself a very simple question that I had never asked before.
00:00:08.060 --> 00:00:08.810
Why?
00:00:09.140 --> 00:00:10.460
Why am I doing this?
00:00:11.539 --> 00:00:12.980
Why am I exercising?
00:00:13.009 --> 00:00:20.024
I discovered my why in that moment that if I take care of my mind, body and spirit, my mind, body and spirit will take care of me.
00:01:00.834 --> 00:01:02.874
So welcome back to Success Engineering.
00:01:02.874 --> 00:01:06.953
I'm your host, Michael Bauman I have the pleasure of having Brad Carlson on.
00:01:07.144 --> 00:01:10.864
He's a certified health coach, a spiritual practitioner, author, speaker.
00:01:11.103 --> 00:01:22.743
He helps other people on the of self-discovery, and we're gonna get into what that looks like for him as well, on how to become fit, happy, healthy, based on what works for them and how they actually interpret what that looks like.
00:01:22.983 --> 00:01:24.634
So very, very fascinating.
00:01:24.944 --> 00:01:28.263
He's the creator of Mind Strong Mindset Training Academy audio programs.
00:01:28.263 --> 00:01:32.043
So it helps you develop the mindset you actually need to become the better version of yourself.
00:01:32.254 --> 00:01:33.694
He's coached hundreds of people.
00:01:33.974 --> 00:01:36.463
He has a bunch of nutrition and fitness certifications.
00:01:36.463 --> 00:01:43.453
He's done 30 endurance events, including the Spartan trifecta, studied martial arts philosophy in five different countries, black belts.
00:01:43.453 --> 00:01:44.534
I mean, I'm just gonna keep going.
00:01:44.534 --> 00:01:47.293
Aikido, hapkido, Japanese sword, black belts.
00:01:47.293 --> 00:01:48.073
It's, it's amazing.
00:01:48.078 --> 00:01:50.084
So this is gonna be a fun conversation.
00:01:50.088 --> 00:01:51.343
He loves adventure, loves travel.
00:01:51.343 --> 00:01:52.513
It's gonna be, it's gonna be great.
00:01:52.519 --> 00:01:53.263
So welcome to show
00:01:54.733 --> 00:01:55.093
Oh wow.
00:01:55.093 --> 00:01:57.134
Thank you so much for having me here, Michael.
00:01:57.134 --> 00:01:59.054
Gosh, that was an incredible introduction.
00:01:59.054 --> 00:01:59.414
Thank you.
00:01:59.463 --> 00:02:00.135
Oh, there you go.
00:02:02.114 --> 00:02:05.114
You've had an incredible life, but it wasn't always Well, doesn't always like that.
00:02:05.114 --> 00:02:10.604
So let's start, we're gonna start in the, in the rough, uh, probably one of the hardest periods of your, your life.
00:02:10.633 --> 00:02:11.804
Just dive right into that.
00:02:11.804 --> 00:02:27.274
So, can you talk about, you know, around that 2011, you know, period of time and you really hit, hit a low spot, and can you share that period of your life and how it just started the journey of discovering yourself and what, what you became up to this point?
00:02:28.663 --> 00:02:33.764
Yeah, it actually started in 2009 when I was that Couch Potato that was really overweight.
00:02:33.764 --> 00:02:43.183
I was 38 years old at the time, and I had come back to America at 30 and then like everybody I got cut up in, in the work, you know, work life cycle.
00:02:43.188 --> 00:02:47.984
I, all I did was work, come home, I'd sit on the couch, watch tv, and was just completely exhausted.
00:02:47.989 --> 00:02:54.274
I was sitting on the bed one day in my bedroom and I was disgusted with the person I had become.
00:02:54.274 --> 00:02:55.954
I was just so disappointed in myself.
00:02:55.954 --> 00:03:11.984
I was very overweight, 50 pounds to be exact, and I had what I call the couch potato belly, the Santa Claus belly, the spare tire, I call it the 18 pack or something like that, and, and yeah, my life was spiraling downhill very quickly.
00:03:12.033 --> 00:03:14.554
Starting in 2012, the divorce hit.
00:03:15.223 --> 00:03:16.783
From 2009 to 2012.
00:03:16.783 --> 00:03:23.084
I was still in the midst of what they call that yo-yo cycle, trying to gain lose, gain, lose, and still trying to, to figure all this stuff out.
00:03:23.084 --> 00:03:31.588
2012, I went through the divorce and lost my house to foreclosure when the economy in America collapsed the housing market in 2008.
00:03:31.588 --> 00:03:34.628
My house went to the bank in 2013.
00:03:34.628 --> 00:03:43.359
I signed the divorce papers I remember on a Friday, and had to turn the keys over to my house to the bank on a Saturday and then couch surf for a month.
00:03:43.389 --> 00:03:44.959
That was, oh my gosh,.
00:03:45.508 --> 00:03:48.998
The whole time was still trying to Figure out the whole health thing.
00:03:48.998 --> 00:03:53.889
I didn't even get my head wrapped around the whole health thing for probably at least two more years.
00:03:53.889 --> 00:03:57.183
If I knew what, obviously what I know now, then it'd be very different.
00:03:57.183 --> 00:03:58.593
My life would've been very different.
00:03:58.593 --> 00:03:59.104
But I didn't.
00:03:59.104 --> 00:04:10.033
It really began in 2009 with just being overweight and I just become purely disgusted and disappointed in myself with, you know, how did I let myself get this way is the common question.
00:04:10.033 --> 00:04:11.894
How did I let myself get so lethargic?
00:04:11.894 --> 00:04:13.933
How did I let myself get so outta shape?
00:04:14.593 --> 00:04:16.934
My self-esteem was in the toilet.
00:04:17.033 --> 00:04:19.613
If I think about it now my physiology is changing a bit.
00:04:19.613 --> 00:04:23.004
Like I can feel the pain coming back inside of me, that period of my life.
00:04:23.004 --> 00:04:26.514
It's like I wouldn't even recognize that person anymore if they were sitting here.
00:04:26.663 --> 00:04:29.649
But still definitely a painful part.
00:04:29.649 --> 00:04:34.238
But again, what they say doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.
00:04:34.238 --> 00:04:34.988
That is true.
00:04:34.988 --> 00:04:44.819
It took that pain to get me to change my mindset, change my health, change my nutrition to propel my life forward to where I am now.
00:04:45.009 --> 00:04:49.744
So I can look back at it now and say that was the best thing that ever happened to me.
00:04:49.853 --> 00:04:50.213
Mm-hmm.
00:04:50.314 --> 00:04:56.848
That's one thing I would tell listeners right away, is whatever you're going through, you'll look back five years from now and say that was one of the best things that ever happened to me.
00:04:56.879 --> 00:04:57.488
Mm-hmm.
00:04:57.569 --> 00:05:04.389
uh, doesn't seem like that in, in the meantime, but there's always a reason for whatever is happening is happening.
00:05:04.389 --> 00:05:08.184
And if you can just kinda like a surfer on the wave.
00:05:08.184 --> 00:05:13.684
If you could just ride the wave to the shore eventually it will end and your life will be better.
00:05:13.684 --> 00:05:15.574
But you gotta want to make it better.
00:05:15.574 --> 00:05:18.274
You gotta want to change, you gotta wanna step forward.
00:05:18.274 --> 00:05:22.173
And that was a big difference for me is like, enough is enough.
00:05:22.173 --> 00:05:23.374
I'm ready for change.
00:05:23.374 --> 00:05:25.923
I'm ready to get in shape, I'm ready to lose weight.
00:05:25.983 --> 00:05:27.814
But that was part of the problem.
00:05:27.814 --> 00:05:34.324
I thought it was about losing weight and getting in shape and I learned along the way it has nothing to do with losing weight and getting in shape.
00:05:35.134 --> 00:05:38.149
Well, let's talk about that because I'm curious to hear how.
00:05:38.793 --> 00:05:42.603
how did you start working through both on the, the physical side of things.
00:05:42.603 --> 00:05:47.973
So you go, Hey, I, you know, don't like myself, I don't like how I look, I don't like where my life is at.
00:05:48.303 --> 00:05:51.134
And you go, I wanna make a change with the, with the exercise.
00:05:51.454 --> 00:06:04.694
Um, so I'm curious as like what that started to look like, but then also how did you work through, and this is a process, right, like you said, but how did you start to work through on that emotional side of things, dealing with all of that?
00:06:05.928 --> 00:06:07.579
This is always a funny part of the story.
00:06:07.579 --> 00:06:13.108
When I had that meltdown in 2009, like sitting on a couch, I'm like, okay, I'm gonna do it.
00:06:13.113 --> 00:06:14.158
I'm gonna lose the weight.
00:06:14.158 --> 00:06:14.968
It's happening.
00:06:15.449 --> 00:06:17.218
And an entire year went by.
00:06:17.218 --> 00:06:19.978
This is November of 2009 to November, 2010.
00:06:19.978 --> 00:06:21.959
And I didn't do a single thing.
00:06:21.963 --> 00:06:23.399
Like I didn't lift one weight.
00:06:23.399 --> 00:06:27.149
I didn't spend a minute in an exercise class, I didn't do anything.
00:06:27.629 --> 00:06:28.978
And so a whole year went by.
00:06:28.978 --> 00:06:40.228
And so now I'm a year later, now it's November, 2010, I'm right back in the same spot, sitting on, on my bed in the bedroom, still 50 pounds overweight, still low self-esteem, lethargic, everything.
00:06:40.798 --> 00:06:43.658
And that's when I said, okay, now I call it my secret weapon.
00:06:43.658 --> 00:06:45.384
I'm determined to do this.
00:06:45.774 --> 00:06:50.843
So I had no training, no knowledge, no anything, but I had an exercise bike in the garage.
00:06:50.843 --> 00:06:52.283
So I did the only thing I knew how to do.
00:06:52.644 --> 00:06:56.903
I went and rode it every single day for three weeks, and then I quit.
00:06:59.494 --> 00:07:02.384
The physical part it came in in waves, up and down.
00:07:02.384 --> 00:07:06.043
Like I went for three weeks and then completely quit.
00:07:06.374 --> 00:07:12.553
And then I think it was about a month later, a friend introduced me to one of those home-based exercise programs.
00:07:12.553 --> 00:07:12.944
I'll just.
00:07:13.434 --> 00:07:14.723
Say what it is.
00:07:14.994 --> 00:07:18.153
Not that I'm promoting it or anything, but it was called P90X.
00:07:19.084 --> 00:07:21.363
This is why failure is such a good thing.
00:07:21.418 --> 00:07:23.639
Failure is what drives success.
00:07:23.639 --> 00:07:28.374
Each failure gave me determination to then be more successful the next time I did it.
00:07:28.793 --> 00:07:35.608
It was about a month between the bike and then I started p90x, but here was a little secret that made all the difference.
00:07:35.613 --> 00:07:38.488
When I did p90x, my goal was not to lose weight.
00:07:38.548 --> 00:07:41.278
I didn't care if I lost a single pound.
00:07:41.848 --> 00:07:44.249
What I cared about was finishing the program.
00:07:45.129 --> 00:07:47.543
I told myself, I use some ex expletives.
00:07:47.543 --> 00:07:53.244
Bleep, bleep, bleep Brad, I don't care what you're gonna start this and you're gonna finish it no matter what.
00:07:53.934 --> 00:07:57.384
So, by God, six, seven days a week, I was in my garage.
00:07:57.413 --> 00:08:00.293
It was like 30 degrees Fahrenheit, sometimes two in my garage.
00:08:00.293 --> 00:08:02.459
Cause there wasn't any space in my house to do it.
00:08:02.978 --> 00:08:05.348
I couldn't even do half of the workouts.
00:08:05.348 --> 00:08:07.689
They would do like 20 and I'd do like three.
00:08:07.819 --> 00:08:10.858
But I didn't care, no matter what, I was gonna finish it.
00:08:10.908 --> 00:08:13.968
And I just kept getting stronger and stronger and stronger.
00:08:14.449 --> 00:08:18.649
And I remember one day I was actually running around my neighborhood.
00:08:18.653 --> 00:08:20.928
One lap around my neighborhood was one mile.
00:08:21.559 --> 00:08:29.553
And a really good friend, he was driving along on the car and we hadn't seen each other a while, and he stopped and he's like, my god, Brad, you've lost a lot of weight.
00:08:30.093 --> 00:08:30.334
Mm-hmm.
00:08:30.694 --> 00:08:35.374
And that's when I went, oh, I have, I didn't even really think to check about it.
00:08:36.464 --> 00:08:38.019
But then here's the thing.
00:08:38.229 --> 00:08:42.369
After I finished p90x, the 12 weeks I quit again.
00:08:42.578 --> 00:08:42.849
Mm-hmm.
00:08:43.479 --> 00:08:45.999
Cause I didn't know what to do, and the weight started to come back on.
00:08:46.004 --> 00:08:49.658
I gained 12 pounds within two weeks after finishing p90x.
00:08:49.658 --> 00:08:50.139
Mm-hmm.
00:08:50.239 --> 00:09:04.019
The magic moment for the physical part, I'll get to the emotional part in a second that everybody has to know, and this is one of the very first things I teach now, before you even get into the exercise or diet, if you're starting with me, is I discovered my why.
00:09:05.219 --> 00:09:09.663
That summer I went on a weeklong wilderness survival trip.
00:09:09.793 --> 00:09:16.833
Kind of like, Bear Grills, you know, he takes people on the trip, you eat bugs and you know, build your own shelter and all that.
00:09:16.833 --> 00:09:19.354
So there were 15 of us from all over the United States.
00:09:19.354 --> 00:09:22.803
We got together, we met in the Yakima Valley up in Yakima, Washington.
00:09:22.808 --> 00:09:24.724
And we lived like hunter gatherers for a week.
00:09:25.323 --> 00:09:31.053
And it was during that time that something happened to me.
00:09:31.884 --> 00:09:37.818
Um, It's hard to put into words, but I had a moment where physically I could not move.
00:09:37.869 --> 00:09:41.828
You're hiking all day, 20, 30 miles a day on like one calorie, if you're lucky.
00:09:41.833 --> 00:09:49.958
I mean, it takes like a hundred calories to get a five calorie mud cuz you're, you know, you're trying to catch it or so you're, you're, you're harvesting like roots.
00:09:49.958 --> 00:09:52.989
It takes more energy to harvest the root than you get from eating it.
00:09:53.698 --> 00:09:57.208
I was like dead physically and something happened in me.
00:09:57.533 --> 00:10:00.714
The Japanese call it"kokoro" where your spirit just takes over.
00:10:00.714 --> 00:10:03.053
There is no more physical and your spirit takes over.
00:10:03.053 --> 00:10:05.274
Well, that happened to me on the last day.
00:10:05.874 --> 00:10:12.413
And then I took that back with me from the hike and was trying to, you know, try again.
00:10:12.413 --> 00:10:13.734
I had lost motivation.
00:10:13.739 --> 00:10:14.634
I had fallen off the horse.
00:10:14.634 --> 00:10:16.703
I got back from that weeklong excursion.
00:10:16.703 --> 00:10:18.984
I was trying to exercise and I had no energy.
00:10:18.984 --> 00:10:20.124
I had no motivation.
00:10:20.663 --> 00:10:24.714
And I asked myself a very simple question that I had never asked before.
00:10:24.714 --> 00:10:27.234
So if you're listening, you've got to ask yourself this question.
00:10:27.953 --> 00:10:28.703
Why?
00:10:29.033 --> 00:10:30.354
Why am I doing this?
00:10:31.433 --> 00:10:32.874
Why am I exercising?
00:10:32.903 --> 00:10:35.754
And in that moment, I call it my first miracle.
00:10:35.813 --> 00:10:40.433
The roof on my garage opened up, the heavens parted, I got struck by a bolt of lightning.
00:10:40.438 --> 00:10:47.453
I discovered my why in that moment that if I take care of my mind, body and spirit, my mind, body and spirit will take care of me.
00:10:47.453 --> 00:10:53.004
And that has been the driving force for the past 13 years of everything that I have done, health and wellness wise.
00:10:53.364 --> 00:11:02.303
That is the key to sustaining your health and wellness journey, is that you have got to have a very deep inner personal why that works for you.
00:11:02.663 --> 00:11:04.553
It's exactly what Simon Sinex says.
00:11:04.553 --> 00:11:07.134
Start with why, but it cannot be an external.
00:11:07.134 --> 00:11:07.403
Why?
00:11:07.764 --> 00:11:09.114
Oh, I wanna lose 50 pounds.
00:11:09.114 --> 00:11:10.073
That's not sustainable.
00:11:10.104 --> 00:11:12.313
Oh, I wanna have more energy to play with my grandkids.
00:11:12.318 --> 00:11:14.573
That's a great reason, but it doesn't work in the long run.
00:11:15.114 --> 00:11:16.793
I wanna fit in a certain size wedding dress.
00:11:16.793 --> 00:11:17.333
Well, that's great.
00:11:17.524 --> 00:11:19.653
I wanna be able to travel and, and more adventure.
00:11:19.683 --> 00:11:22.474
Those are good, but they're all external why's.
00:11:22.923 --> 00:11:25.894
I had one client I remember she kept training for the 5k.
00:11:25.894 --> 00:11:28.354
She would do a 5K and then another one, and then another one.
00:11:28.354 --> 00:11:31.234
And as long as there was a 5K or a 10 K, she worked her way up.
00:11:31.533 --> 00:11:32.193
She was good.
00:11:32.193 --> 00:11:33.874
But then all of a sudden, COVID hit.
00:11:34.533 --> 00:11:36.183
There were no more five Ks.
00:11:36.844 --> 00:11:41.129
She gained a lot of weight because everything she was doing was external motivating.
00:11:41.129 --> 00:11:45.418
And it wasn't until we talked that she realized that everything she was doing was externally motivated.
00:11:45.969 --> 00:11:49.658
And anything you wanna start a business, why, why are you doing it?
00:11:49.658 --> 00:11:53.499
You wanna start, you wanna be a husband, a father?
00:11:53.589 --> 00:11:54.068
Why?
00:11:54.068 --> 00:11:54.458
Why?
00:11:54.458 --> 00:11:56.198
You know, why, why this person?
00:11:56.198 --> 00:11:58.568
You know, we'll get into that here in, in, in a little bit.
00:11:58.573 --> 00:12:04.808
But that's what sustained the physical part of my journey and any health and wellness journey is that I discovered my why.
00:12:05.408 --> 00:12:13.698
Sorry, before, before we get into the emotional, I, I would like to talk about how, how you kind of coach, um, people to discover that, why, what does that look like?
00:12:13.698 --> 00:12:16.979
How do people go about discovering their why or their purpose, vision.
00:12:17.538 --> 00:12:20.354
There's something called the seven levels of why exercise.
00:12:20.894 --> 00:12:21.884
And you start with that.
00:12:21.943 --> 00:12:23.563
Okay, well, why do I wanna lose weight?
00:12:23.594 --> 00:12:26.264
Oh, because I wanna fit into a certain size wedding dress.
00:12:26.293 --> 00:12:28.724
Well, why do I wanna fit into a certain size wedding dress?
00:12:29.114 --> 00:12:30.104
Well so I look good.
00:12:30.104 --> 00:12:32.083
Well, why is looking good important to you?
00:12:32.384 --> 00:12:33.734
Well, because then I'll feel better.
00:12:33.734 --> 00:12:35.323
Why is feeling better important to you?
00:12:35.323 --> 00:12:37.274
Because then I'll be able to do the things I wanna do.
00:12:37.278 --> 00:12:40.214
Well, why is doing the things that you want to do important to you?
00:12:40.453 --> 00:12:42.943
Because then I'll be living a life of meaning and purpose.
00:12:42.943 --> 00:12:45.943
You see how we're starting to get more deeper into that?
00:12:45.943 --> 00:12:49.933
So it's basically, it's called the seven levels of why exercise.
00:12:49.938 --> 00:12:51.913
It's in my couch to healthy curriculum.
00:12:51.913 --> 00:12:53.923
It's week, two, actually.
00:12:53.928 --> 00:12:55.163
Week one is mindset.
00:12:55.803 --> 00:12:58.163
Week one is about who are you?
00:12:58.224 --> 00:12:58.823
Mm-hmm.
00:12:58.908 --> 00:13:00.203
that, we'll get into that in a second.
00:13:00.203 --> 00:13:00.913
That's part of the emotion.
00:13:00.913 --> 00:13:03.004
And then week two is the why exercise?
00:13:03.244 --> 00:13:04.803
One area I disagree with Simon.
00:13:04.803 --> 00:13:06.754
He says You only have one why for anything.
00:13:06.754 --> 00:13:07.619
And I don't agree with that.
00:13:07.619 --> 00:13:11.519
I have very deep personal whys, sort of depending on what I have going on in my life.
00:13:11.859 --> 00:13:14.403
They're similar, but in some instances they're really different.
00:13:14.403 --> 00:13:21.994
But you do that seven levels of why exercise and then I work with them on the phone and we keep going and we keep going until the light bulb goes off.
00:13:22.354 --> 00:13:25.489
And in some cases we've gone down to level 20.
00:13:25.489 --> 00:13:26.849
It's called the seven levels of why.
00:13:26.989 --> 00:13:32.839
But in some cases, like for me, I've gone to level 17, I level 24.
00:13:32.839 --> 00:13:40.158
Because until that aha moment, that epiphany, that white bulb, it's not going to be sustainable.
00:13:40.399 --> 00:13:43.869
You know, it may be a great why, but it's not sustainable enough.
00:13:43.869 --> 00:13:47.589
It has to be something that, that resonates with you and it's so personal.
00:13:48.278 --> 00:13:48.443
Yeah.
00:13:48.563 --> 00:13:51.053
I use a very similar thing, um, with my clients.
00:13:51.053 --> 00:13:51.984
It's very simple.
00:13:51.984 --> 00:13:57.313
But if you just asked that question about any area of your life, just going like, why am I actually doing this you know?
00:13:57.313 --> 00:13:57.553
Yeah.
00:13:57.714 --> 00:13:59.094
Or like, what do I really want?
00:13:59.244 --> 00:14:00.443
And then why do I really want it?
00:14:00.504 --> 00:14:00.833
Right?
00:14:00.833 --> 00:14:01.163
Like,
00:14:01.974 --> 00:14:03.683
You start to questions what and why.
00:14:03.683 --> 00:14:07.043
We don't have to ask how, how will, how will I show up on our life?
00:14:07.043 --> 00:14:12.744
But the what and the why, the two most simple questions you could ask that most people on this planet don't have an answer to.
00:14:12.744 --> 00:14:13.134
Yeah.
00:14:13.764 --> 00:14:16.884
When you can answer both of those questions, that's when you're successful.
00:14:17.678 --> 00:14:17.903
Yeah.
00:14:17.964 --> 00:14:18.714
There you go.
00:14:18.714 --> 00:14:19.163
There you go.
00:14:19.163 --> 00:14:25.433
We hit on the hit on the definition of success for you So we have this why, right?
00:14:25.433 --> 00:14:32.033
So you kind of discovered this why, but obviously in life, things come that affect that why.
00:14:32.083 --> 00:14:35.833
There's times where it's difficult and you have to push through, and there's obstacles and there's setbacks.
00:14:35.833 --> 00:14:42.464
How do you go about maintaining that why or keeping your focus on that when things are really challenging?
00:14:43.724 --> 00:14:48.394
It always falls on your why, but that gets into the next, the next question, who are you?
00:14:50.193 --> 00:14:51.244
Who are you as a father?
00:14:51.244 --> 00:14:52.234
Who are you as a husband?
00:14:52.234 --> 00:14:53.494
Who are you as a health coach?
00:14:53.524 --> 00:14:55.203
And then show up as that person.
00:14:55.208 --> 00:14:55.714
Mm-hmm.
00:14:55.923 --> 00:15:05.943
And when you fully understand who you are and embrace your true, authentic self, then it becomes easier and easier and easier to just authentically show up.
00:15:06.244 --> 00:15:10.384
And then what you just described, it rarely, rarely happens for me now.
00:15:10.774 --> 00:15:15.163
That I get down in the dumps and that I'm off alignment and that I'm off balance.
00:15:15.193 --> 00:15:27.649
And when that does happen, I just sit in my chair, maybe get my journal out, do some journaling about the situation that's going on in my life and just let the verbal diarrhea on the paper and like, what is going on in my life?
00:15:27.678 --> 00:15:33.948
You know, and what I, what I've discovered, gosh, we could go off so many areas here that's things like that.
00:15:33.948 --> 00:15:35.823
Everything is an inner solution.
00:15:35.994 --> 00:15:39.563
Every problem going you have going on in your life, the answer is inside you.
00:15:39.953 --> 00:15:44.374
And I've found that it always boils down to a self-worth, self-esteem type of an issue.
00:15:44.423 --> 00:16:06.568
Feeling of a lack of worthiness or a lack of deserving something or, and when you can work through that, and the more you work through those with regards to being a spouse or with being a coworker, or with being a husband or a dad or whatever area in your life, then the less and less that you get pulled back down off that horse into that depression hole, uh, so to speak.
00:16:07.259 --> 00:16:08.609
How, how do you go about doing that?
00:16:08.609 --> 00:16:10.708
Because that's, you know, right up, right up my alley.
00:16:10.769 --> 00:16:24.219
Um, how, how people could feel enough so that worthiness that, you know lack of worthiness when people have that, what are your tips or your advice for how to go about filling, you know, filling the This is
00:16:24.219 --> 00:16:25.739
Week 1 of my Couch to healthy program.
00:16:25.739 --> 00:16:30.578
You have to answer the question, who do you want to be?
00:16:30.688 --> 00:16:32.339
So that's the second miracle.
00:16:32.339 --> 00:16:34.798
So, getting into how I dealt with this emotionally.
00:16:34.798 --> 00:16:35.849
I understood my why.
00:16:35.849 --> 00:16:38.129
I was starting to get into the exercise groove.
00:16:38.134 --> 00:16:39.899
I still didn't know anything about nutrition.
00:16:39.899 --> 00:16:46.499
I was three years into this journey, I was still eating hot pockets and chocolate milk and sugary donuts like every single day.
00:16:47.068 --> 00:16:48.839
I didn't realize you had to eat healthy too.
00:16:48.839 --> 00:16:50.619
I thought all you had to do was exercise.
00:16:50.938 --> 00:16:51.028
Mm-hmm.
00:16:51.269 --> 00:16:57.418
But during the divorce, my dog he would not come over to me and like, come on, boy, come over here.
00:16:57.418 --> 00:17:02.149
And I still to this day have in my mind the look he gave me.
00:17:02.599 --> 00:17:06.683
You know, he was a 20 pound cock spaniel, like a foot and a half off the ground.
00:17:06.683 --> 00:17:09.054
He just gave me this look like, you're such a loser, dad.
00:17:09.284 --> 00:17:09.634
Oh.
00:17:10.288 --> 00:17:13.439
And he turned around and he went back to his bed.
00:17:13.443 --> 00:17:15.634
Dogs sense energy, especially in humans.
00:17:15.634 --> 00:17:20.763
He knew something was wrong with me, and I looked at him and that's when I had my second miracle.
00:17:20.763 --> 00:17:22.354
And that's when I go, oh my God.
00:17:23.013 --> 00:17:27.304
I have been focusing up to this point in my life on everything I didn't want.
00:17:27.784 --> 00:17:31.473
I didn't want to be an uptight, grumpy, irritable husband and father.
00:17:31.534 --> 00:17:32.403
Well, guess what?
00:17:32.409 --> 00:17:35.554
I was a very uptight, grumpy, irritable husband and father.
00:17:35.973 --> 00:17:39.544
I didn't want to be a lethargic, low self-esteem, couch potato.
00:17:39.874 --> 00:17:40.653
Well, guess what?
00:17:40.653 --> 00:17:44.644
I was still a low self-esteem, lethargic couch potato.
00:17:44.644 --> 00:17:44.763
Mm-hmm.
00:17:45.189 --> 00:17:51.634
And in that moment I realized, I asked myself a question, what type of person do I want to be?
00:17:53.644 --> 00:17:57.584
And that's how you stay motivated.
00:17:57.584 --> 00:18:03.433
That's how you propel your life forward is what type of person do you want to be?
00:18:03.433 --> 00:18:05.624
So Michael, what type of husband do you want to be?
00:18:05.624 --> 00:18:07.304
What type of dad do you want to be?
00:18:07.584 --> 00:18:08.604
What type of health coach?
00:18:08.608 --> 00:18:10.584
What type of trainer do you want to be?
00:18:11.094 --> 00:18:11.243
Okay.
00:18:11.243 --> 00:18:21.023
I wanna be someone that is full of love and life and health and passion and enthusiasm and, and dynamic intensity and fun, and can bring that in into every situation.
00:18:21.028 --> 00:18:29.273
And it's just a matter of showing up authentically as who you are every single time and focusing on who do you want to be.
00:18:29.723 --> 00:18:30.203
Mm-hmm.
00:18:30.210 --> 00:18:32.130
Who do you want to be a year from now?
00:18:32.130 --> 00:18:32.650
Mm-hmm.
00:18:32.730 --> 00:18:33.849
five years from now.
00:18:34.039 --> 00:18:35.180
10 years from now.
00:18:35.750 --> 00:18:35.930
Okay.
00:18:35.930 --> 00:18:38.119
Imagine what your life would be like.
00:18:38.119 --> 00:18:43.099
Like best case scenario, shoot, reach for the stars, even past the stars.
00:18:43.460 --> 00:18:45.200
This is the type of life I want to have.
00:18:45.200 --> 00:18:46.519
This is the person I want to be.
00:18:46.519 --> 00:18:54.609
I wanna be that awesome rockstar business entrepreneur that is kicking butt in the world and, helping people and is full of love.
00:18:54.609 --> 00:18:56.710
I call it love, life, health and happiness.
00:18:57.579 --> 00:19:00.339
And so who do you want to be moving forward?
00:19:00.339 --> 00:19:10.730
And when you step into that, that person of who you want to be, that's when your life really shifts and that's when motivation really doesn't become an issue.
00:19:10.759 --> 00:19:14.240
If you don't have your why, and what I'm talking about is your what?
00:19:14.240 --> 00:19:16.279
What type of person do you want to be?
00:19:16.519 --> 00:19:20.920
If you don't know your why and you don't know your what, then you have to have a lot of discipline.
00:19:20.920 --> 00:19:27.309
You gotta have a ton of discipline to be able to move forward, otherwise you will fall off the horse and most people do.
00:19:27.309 --> 00:19:32.359
Perfect example, an Olympic athlete, Michael Phelps, best athlete in the world.
00:19:32.359 --> 00:19:37.970
Some will argue at swimming 18 Olympic gold medals, something like that more than anybody in history.
00:19:37.970 --> 00:19:39.859
And after the Olympics, he didn't.
00:19:40.849 --> 00:19:41.420
Know what to do.
00:19:41.470 --> 00:19:42.430
He was depressed.
00:19:42.430 --> 00:19:45.549
He didn't know what to do because he didn't understand some of this.
00:19:45.549 --> 00:19:54.849
So yeah, we talked a little bit off camera about success, you know, the gold medals, the house, the car, and, and I asked that question, well, is their life any better than mine?
00:19:55.029 --> 00:20:07.809
At the time, 13 years ago I thought it was, but,but now, no, because The key to happiness, the key to success is knowing who you are and being that type of person you want to be.
00:20:08.470 --> 00:20:10.599
So whoever's listening, take a look in the mirror.
00:20:10.599 --> 00:20:12.279
Who am I right now?
00:20:12.819 --> 00:20:13.059
Okay.
00:20:13.059 --> 00:20:16.420
I was a tired, overweight, lethargic, couch potato.
00:20:16.424 --> 00:20:19.779
I didn't figure this out until my dog would not come over to me.
00:20:20.410 --> 00:20:23.470
And then I asked myself that question, who do I want to be?
00:20:23.470 --> 00:20:25.210
What type of husband do I wanna be?
00:20:25.210 --> 00:20:27.009
What type of person do I wanna be?
00:20:27.369 --> 00:20:29.319
What type of father do I wanna be?
00:20:29.650 --> 00:20:32.950
I had been focusing on everything that I did not want in life.
00:20:32.950 --> 00:20:33.470
Mm-hmm.
00:20:33.549 --> 00:20:36.400
I had been focusing on the type of person I did not want to be.
00:20:36.819 --> 00:20:39.394
And unknowingly that's what most people are doing.
00:20:39.400 --> 00:20:43.684
They're focused on the fear, what they don't want, who they don't want to be.
00:20:44.255 --> 00:20:52.595
And when you shift that and start focusing on what you want and who you want to be in life, everything changes.
00:20:52.894 --> 00:20:58.654
And that's where discipline is no longer needed because then it's fueled by passion and desire.
00:20:59.299 --> 00:21:03.680
There's a much, much, much stronger factor force than than discipline.
00:21:03.680 --> 00:21:06.890
Discipline only lasts for so long.
00:21:06.920 --> 00:21:10.849
So after I, I had that epiphany on my dog, it still took me about another year.
00:21:11.329 --> 00:21:13.640
But finally I realized who do I want to be?
00:21:13.640 --> 00:21:15.710
I want to be this healthy person.
00:21:16.279 --> 00:21:19.220
And everything started to fall in line under that.
00:21:19.220 --> 00:21:33.605
I was in the public health department one day and about to reach for the donut and I was in the middle of triathlon training and something, I swear to God it was a higher power that like literally grabbed my wrist and pulled it back and would not let me grab the donut.
00:21:33.605 --> 00:21:35.625
Every day I grab a donut, chocolate, candy.
00:21:35.674 --> 00:21:36.615
Cause it's there every day.
00:21:36.615 --> 00:21:39.555
It's like, how crazy, the health department, we should have like fruits and nuts.
00:21:39.559 --> 00:21:40.454
But we didn't.
00:21:41.615 --> 00:21:46.654
And it's like, if I eat that, will it help me to be a faster swimmer?
00:21:47.464 --> 00:21:55.434
And I went, oh my God, no! And then I asked, well, what can I eat to help me be a faster swimmer?
00:21:55.464 --> 00:21:57.654
And the first thing that came to me was spinach.
00:21:57.994 --> 00:22:01.414
I literally went to the store and grabbed a bag of spinach and ate the whole thing.
00:22:01.424 --> 00:22:04.355
And that what started my journey into healthy eating.
00:22:05.164 --> 00:22:17.674
While you are talking about the nutrition and you know, the exercises as well, can you talk about what are some of your tips in terms of how can people eat well sustainably and how can people exercise well sustainably?
00:22:18.099 --> 00:22:19.805
Again, it goes back to who do you wanna be?
00:22:19.805 --> 00:22:22.744
If you want to be a healthy person, it has to start with that.
00:22:23.365 --> 00:22:27.714
Focus on foods that will get you to that person you want to be.
00:22:27.714 --> 00:22:32.154
So I realized if I eat that donut, will it help me to be healthy?
00:22:32.335 --> 00:22:33.234
The answer was no.
00:22:33.240 --> 00:22:35.250
It's the questions that you ask yourself.
00:22:35.255 --> 00:22:35.799
Mm-hmm.
00:22:36.404 --> 00:22:41.535
So ask yourself questions that will get you to where you want to go, but you have to know where you want to go.
00:22:41.894 --> 00:22:45.315
Ask yourself questions that will lead you to that person that you wanna be.
00:22:45.315 --> 00:22:47.805
But you have to know that person that you want to be.
00:22:48.055 --> 00:22:50.299
Same with exercise, same with exercise.
00:22:50.305 --> 00:22:54.240
Now, the problem I had back then, it was all from a place of fear and place of ego.
00:22:54.240 --> 00:22:54.759
Mm-hmm.
00:22:55.380 --> 00:22:59.940
Another principle is are you doing this from a place of fear or a place of love?
00:23:00.579 --> 00:23:06.809
When I thought about switching to RV tiny living, those millionaires is their life any better than mine?
00:23:06.970 --> 00:23:08.559
And I realized, no, it wasn't.
00:23:08.559 --> 00:23:12.720
And that's when I started to ask the question, well, what is it that you want outta life?
00:23:12.750 --> 00:23:14.579
What is it that I want outta life?
00:23:15.329 --> 00:23:16.890
And I wanted adventure.
00:23:17.430 --> 00:23:21.390
I wanted to live, dream, travel, adventure, explore.
00:23:21.839 --> 00:23:24.099
And the first step of that was tiny living.
00:23:24.099 --> 00:23:27.500
Because for me, that, that sums up adventure in a nutshell.
00:23:27.549 --> 00:23:28.839
You're like camping every night.
00:23:28.839 --> 00:23:33.450
I mean, how cool is that We talked a little bit about what success is earlier.
00:23:33.450 --> 00:23:37.579
That slowly got me really thinking that what is it that I want outta life?
00:23:38.555 --> 00:23:38.855
Okay.
00:23:38.855 --> 00:23:41.015
First and foremost, I want to be healthy.
00:23:41.494 --> 00:23:46.474
And once I started to get that dialed in, then I realized, oh, I need to apply this to other parts of my life.
00:23:46.595 --> 00:23:48.755
Oh, I want to be an entrepreneur.
00:23:48.755 --> 00:23:50.855
I wanna have my own health coaching business.
00:23:51.755 --> 00:23:57.755
Never in a million, trillion gazillion years, even 10 years ago, five years ago, did I think I'd be a health coach.
00:23:57.815 --> 00:24:02.315
Um, Do doing this or podcasting or anything.
00:24:02.315 --> 00:24:04.289
Those are the first three things I teach.
00:24:04.339 --> 00:24:07.204
Your vision, your why, and your who do you want to be?
00:24:08.144 --> 00:24:17.065
Yeah, it's super, super important because especially like you're, you're talking about so many people, you know, in the health and fitness kind of arena, you know, new Year's resolutions, right?
00:24:17.115 --> 00:24:19.305
They set these resolutions, they go, I wanna lose weight.
00:24:19.575 --> 00:24:20.835
Similar to your journey.
00:24:20.924 --> 00:24:22.005
They have those three weeks.
00:24:22.005 --> 00:24:26.424
They, you know, they, they crush it for three weeks and then it's difficult after that.
00:24:26.430 --> 00:24:29.204
But what you're talking about is so important.
00:24:29.204 --> 00:24:37.694
It sounds, it sounds simple, but it is so important for every single area of your life to actually go, who do I wanna be?
00:24:38.174 --> 00:24:43.009
And you're always aligning those behaviors with, is this aligning with that or not?
00:24:43.009 --> 00:24:51.349
And the other aspect, of it is looking at, there's an incredible framework, from Robert Keegan, out of Harvard called Immunity to Change.
00:24:51.380 --> 00:24:54.920
So why do we actually resist change?
00:24:54.950 --> 00:25:00.799
We have this desire and we go, I want to do this well because we have these hidden assumptions and this is what we're talking about as well.
00:25:00.805 --> 00:25:08.180
We have these hidden assumptions that about these different behaviors that we have that keep us where we're at.
00:25:08.184 --> 00:25:22.910
So a lot of times we look at the reasons, you know, to change, but there's also, we have reasons to stay the same You know, there's reasons why we're sitting on the couch and exploring those and balancing that out and going, oh, this is why I'm actually wanting to stay the same and this is why I want to change.
00:25:22.910 --> 00:25:29.329
And then you would go, when I make this choice, when I make this behavior, do I wanna align it with the new identity that I have?
00:25:29.839 --> 00:25:33.440
Um, or do I wanna align it with the old identity that I have in the past?
00:25:33.440 --> 00:25:41.025
And it's cannot be overstated about how important this is in terms of making any change in your life.
00:25:41.134 --> 00:25:41.805
Very important.
00:25:42.184 --> 00:25:47.849
And it's like Tony Robbins said, change will not happen until your pain threshold is at a certain level.
00:25:48.339 --> 00:25:51.369
People will change either out of desperation or inspiration.
00:25:51.369 --> 00:25:52.569
Either one works.
00:25:52.599 --> 00:25:55.359
So in the beginning I was changing out of desperation.
00:25:55.450 --> 00:25:55.630
Mm-hmm.
00:25:56.230 --> 00:25:57.940
uh, this, this wasn't working.
00:25:58.029 --> 00:26:04.980
But now I change out of inspiration cuz I know everything is growing and leading me to my next highest version of me.
00:26:05.029 --> 00:26:06.529
So I'm curious as what, yeah.
00:26:06.529 --> 00:26:08.990
I mean, you have a very unique kinda lifestyle.
00:26:08.990 --> 00:26:12.109
So you have your little tiny RV you're loving life in terms of that.
00:26:12.109 --> 00:26:22.970
Do you have any specific routines that you do, whether it's morning routines, evening routines, just routines that are very helpful for you in terms of aligning yourself with the person you wanna be?
00:26:23.819 --> 00:26:24.924
So, yes.
00:26:24.954 --> 00:26:32.085
And it's constantly changing So to answer your question, the one thing I always do is check in with me.
00:26:32.384 --> 00:26:32.994
Mm-hmm.
00:26:33.045 --> 00:26:38.404
And what I mean by that is I check in with my inner voice, my intuition, and I just allow it to guide me.
00:26:38.434 --> 00:26:38.884
Okay?
00:26:39.214 --> 00:26:41.484
Tomorrow morning I'm gonna get up and I'm gonna read for an hour.
00:26:42.065 --> 00:26:43.119
That's my morning routine.
00:26:43.609 --> 00:26:46.640
Tomorrow morning I'm gonna get up and do my five mile run.
00:26:46.670 --> 00:26:47.539
Very first thing.
00:26:47.660 --> 00:26:48.980
That'll be my morning routine.
00:26:49.519 --> 00:26:53.089
Tomorrow morning I'm gonna get up and just meditate for an hour.
00:26:53.279 --> 00:26:55.680
Tomorrow morning I'm gonna get up and journal for an hour.
00:26:55.684 --> 00:26:59.430
It's not set in stone specific to any, it used to be very rigid.
00:26:59.730 --> 00:27:06.809
You know, 20 minutes of reading, 20 minutes of journaling, 20 minutes of exercise, 20 minutes of meditation, shower, get ready to go.
00:27:07.319 --> 00:27:08.430
Uh, it's not like that at all.
00:27:08.434 --> 00:27:09.599
It's very fluid now.
00:27:09.605 --> 00:27:13.894
So a principle I live by now is I ask myself the question, what's next?
00:27:14.625 --> 00:27:19.414
And we talked about earlier, all these millionaires who are not successful, not fulfilled.
00:27:19.775 --> 00:27:21.815
It's because they're living from a place of fear.
00:27:21.815 --> 00:27:23.404
I'll just use Buddha as an example.
00:27:23.404 --> 00:27:24.454
Completely broke.
00:27:24.960 --> 00:27:25.799
Outta shape.
00:27:26.069 --> 00:27:33.509
Never read a single book, but probably one of the most fulfilled people that the planet has ever seen, because he lived a life from the inside out.
00:27:34.210 --> 00:27:39.119
So my evening routine used to be Journal and read the last hour before lights out.
00:27:39.220 --> 00:27:40.329
This is all changed.
00:27:40.329 --> 00:27:43.684
It used to be the last hour, no electronics, no anything.
00:27:44.055 --> 00:27:47.490
Journal meditation, reading, which sounds pretty good.
00:27:47.545 --> 00:27:53.994
But the difference is I'm doing it from a place of love now, not a place of fear that, oh, if I don't get my reading in today, I won't be worthy.
00:27:53.994 --> 00:27:54.984
I won't be good enough.
00:27:55.615 --> 00:28:00.204
And so it's the same activity, but the reason, the why is very different now.
00:28:00.204 --> 00:28:00.894
Mm-hmm.
00:28:01.039 --> 00:28:01.049
trust.
00:28:01.434 --> 00:28:03.865
Learning to trust the path, trust the journey.
00:28:05.035 --> 00:28:05.335
Yeah.
00:28:05.345 --> 00:28:12.194
I had Lord Richard Layard on, he's the co-editor of the World Happiness Report, and he actually said a very similar thing.
00:28:12.194 --> 00:28:18.519
He said in the morning, just checking in with yourself and the highest version of yourself.
00:28:18.910 --> 00:28:22.450
And using that to set the intention for the day.
00:28:22.500 --> 00:28:22.980
I'm similar.
00:28:22.980 --> 00:28:30.755
My morning routine is more rigid than yours because I do have, you know rigid things like getting kids to school and things like this.
00:28:30.755 --> 00:28:39.785
But I would describe myself as an exercise nomad like you, you do what works for that situation in time.
00:28:41.019 --> 00:28:43.183
How I describe it is having agile habits.
00:28:43.183 --> 00:28:48.403
I have habits that are basically little building blocks in terms of my morning routine, my exercise, things like that.
00:28:48.673 --> 00:28:52.844
And if they get affected, I can move those building blocks to different spots.
00:28:52.844 --> 00:28:54.344
I can shuffle them around.
00:28:54.534 --> 00:28:58.713
We listen to all of these experts and all of these people Hal Elrod, the Miracle Morning.
00:28:58.713 --> 00:29:01.233
You have, you know, very rigid kind of things.
00:29:01.239 --> 00:29:01.703
Mm-hmm.
00:29:01.753 --> 00:29:09.763
And I love talking to so many different people on this podcast cuz very successful people and some of'em have very rigid morning routines.
00:29:09.824 --> 00:29:10.034
Yeah.
00:29:10.064 --> 00:29:11.324
Or just routines in general.
00:29:11.443 --> 00:29:12.854
And some of'em don't at all.
00:29:12.854 --> 00:29:17.324
Some of'em get up at nine o'clock, you know, and are still incredibly successful.
00:29:17.564 --> 00:29:28.604
And so really understanding and experimenting with what, what actually works for you and what actually works for you right now in whatever season you're in is really important.
00:29:28.604 --> 00:29:33.693
And having the grace and the ability to be able to adjust it and not beat yourself up is really important.
00:29:34.023 --> 00:29:34.653
Really important.
00:29:35.263 --> 00:29:38.804
And I would say, just make sure you're doing it for the right reason.
00:29:38.804 --> 00:29:44.864
The first several years of my journey, all those 30 plus races I did, most of that was based in fear and ego.
00:29:45.034 --> 00:29:45.384
Mm.
00:29:46.078 --> 00:29:50.729
Because I thought, and again, it goes back to that question, what is it you really want outta life?
00:29:51.538 --> 00:29:58.409
And I realized that for me in my journey, I didn't want to be one of these hardcore, diehard, you know, ultra ultra type athletes.
00:29:59.038 --> 00:30:01.888
What I really wanted to be was just fit, happy, and healthy.
00:30:02.459 --> 00:30:13.588
And I realized, well, I could be fit, happy, and healthy whether I run a 20 minute mile or I run a 10 minute mile and my body appreciated the 20 minute mile a lot more than the 10 mile and I could walk the next day.
00:30:14.078 --> 00:30:18.038
And I started to go down this, what I call now, the slow, easy path of exercise.
00:30:18.038 --> 00:30:21.338
And especially for men over 40, this really makes a difference.
00:30:22.068 --> 00:30:26.929
You've really gotta back off the intensity and do the slow easy cuz it's much more sustainable.
00:30:26.929 --> 00:30:31.064
I want to be fit, happy, healthy, walking, no wheelchair, none of that stuff.
00:30:31.064 --> 00:30:35.503
You know, walking tall, strong and proud, well into my, you know, sixties, seventies, eighties and nineties.
00:30:36.074 --> 00:30:41.634
I can't tell you how many distance runners I've talked to in their fifties that can barely walk.
00:30:41.689 --> 00:30:45.499
I know one, she did marathons from 20 years old till almost 40.
00:30:45.548 --> 00:30:47.229
She's probably late fifties, early sixties now.
00:30:47.233 --> 00:30:53.324
She can't even barely walk a mile on a treadmill now cause her knees are gone because she overtrained for almost 20 years of her life.
00:30:53.324 --> 00:30:58.273
I don't train for anything specific now, so my exercise routines are very fluid and rigid.
00:30:58.663 --> 00:30:59.953
What do I feel like doing this morning?
00:30:59.983 --> 00:31:01.364
Oh, I feel like walking this morning.
00:31:01.394 --> 00:31:02.773
Oh, I feel like doing weights today.
00:31:02.804 --> 00:31:04.634
Oh, I feel like going to play racquetball today.
00:31:04.993 --> 00:31:05.114
Oh.
00:31:05.114 --> 00:31:06.673
I feel like playing pickleball today.
00:31:06.703 --> 00:31:08.894
You know, something, something that you're always moving.
00:31:08.923 --> 00:31:17.683
Oh, I feel like doing a natural movement session today and, and I have enough experience I can just whip something up like on the spot now and, oh, I only got five minutes.
00:31:17.683 --> 00:31:18.794
I'm just gonna do five minutes.
00:31:18.794 --> 00:31:21.493
Then I got 10 minutes later today, and then five minutes in the evening.
00:31:21.493 --> 00:31:22.574
That's at least 20 minutes.
00:31:22.574 --> 00:31:26.673
I still get in during the day versus one 20 minute session, so, mm-hmm.
00:31:26.753 --> 00:31:33.324
And I, I haven't mentioned this so, to make your health journey sustainable, to make your healthy eating sustainable, any of that.
00:31:33.824 --> 00:31:35.523
It must be a priority.
00:31:35.894 --> 00:31:38.503
You manage your priorities, not your time.
00:31:39.074 --> 00:31:40.574
I cannot emphasize that enough.
00:31:40.733 --> 00:31:41.574
I'm sorry, one more thing.
00:31:41.574 --> 00:31:42.384
I wanna get this in.
00:31:42.384 --> 00:31:45.564
This is a really powerful exercise that I just recently learned.
00:31:45.614 --> 00:31:48.489
All coaches have coaches, so I have my own coach right now.
00:31:49.709 --> 00:31:51.419
And she taught me this a couple months ago.
00:31:51.469 --> 00:31:56.989
To help with the motivation to help with staying on the path is a very simple exercise called daydreaming.
00:31:58.009 --> 00:32:05.328
You know, sit back in your chair for a minute or two and just daydream about the life that you desire about that person you desire becoming.
00:32:05.328 --> 00:32:10.038
Do that two, three times a day for just a minute, and your energies will just fly off the chart.
00:32:10.729 --> 00:32:22.009
And that helps begin to reprogram your mindset to bring you back into, you know, having that high energy and that high motivation where you don't lose motivation, you don't fall off the horse.
00:32:22.058 --> 00:32:22.118
It.
00:32:22.124 --> 00:32:27.398
It's like having consistent, like you're, you're talking about it all, you know, it just continues to come back to that one principle.
00:32:27.403 --> 00:32:37.644
It's like having consistent things in your day, whatever it is that, that allow you to align back with who you are, who you are, or who, who you want to be.
00:32:37.644 --> 00:32:46.614
You know, because all of our behaviors are a reflection of our identities, the values that we have, then the priorities that we have, and then the goals, you know, that we, that we set.
00:32:46.824 --> 00:32:55.733
And so often we focus on the behavior or the goals and like we're talking about, it's like no, focusing on the identity, who you wanna be.
00:32:56.034 --> 00:33:01.193
You know, then you know the values that you have that you wanna show up with in every single situation.
00:33:01.523 --> 00:33:08.124
Then looking at, you know, your priorities and making sure that those are, those are aligned and then your goals reflect that and your behaviors reflect that.
00:33:08.723 --> 00:33:11.844
And kind of the modern culture, modern society, the hustle culture.
00:33:11.844 --> 00:33:14.153
We have a backwards, it's always what do you do?
00:33:14.153 --> 00:33:16.013
We always emphasize the doing first.
00:33:16.013 --> 00:33:19.284
Well, you want to get over depression, well, what will you do?
00:33:19.284 --> 00:33:21.923
We'll go to the doctor or take this pill or whatever.
00:33:22.163 --> 00:33:26.423
But in the native indigenous cultures around the world, they always focus on the person and the being.
00:33:26.453 --> 00:33:27.473
Who do you want to be?
00:33:27.473 --> 00:33:30.384
That started to click in my brain a couple years ago.
00:33:30.384 --> 00:33:37.013
And then as I got deeper into my spiritual studies and went to some other seminars and read other books or something called the Be, Do, Have formula.
00:33:37.493 --> 00:33:40.913
Be the person you wanna be the doing will automatically show up.
00:33:41.814 --> 00:33:44.423
There's a, really, you know, powerful kind of framework.
00:33:44.423 --> 00:33:48.983
It's along those lines that I, that I referenced by a leadership coach called Alan Seal.
00:33:48.983 --> 00:33:53.068
And he talks about, there's four levels of engagement with a situation.
00:33:53.308 --> 00:33:58.138
So when any situation arises, that first level is, you know, just jumping into the drama, right?
00:33:58.138 --> 00:34:04.709
So we all do it at, at times, like, just jump into the drama this did that, you know, I felt this, you know, whatever that is, right?
00:34:05.009 --> 00:34:20.699
But then above that, if, if you go above it, you're able to look at it from a situational awareness level and you go, oh, you know, instead of being, you know, it's this person's fault, this person's fault, I can actually look at it from a, a higher level and go, oh, this is the situation.
00:34:20.699 --> 00:34:21.659
This is what's going on.
00:34:21.659 --> 00:34:22.679
This is how we can fix it.
00:34:22.679 --> 00:34:23.818
This is how we can approach it.
00:34:24.119 --> 00:34:31.739
But what you're talking about is what he references is kind of the level above that is that has to do with choice.
00:34:31.739 --> 00:34:33.329
So it's actually choosing.
00:34:34.139 --> 00:34:35.969
Who do I want to be in this situation?
00:34:35.969 --> 00:34:41.309
So it doesn't matter what happened, what situation it is, whatever at all.
00:34:41.548 --> 00:34:48.309
We can always choose who we want to be in this situation that and that references, you know, like Victor Frankl's Man Search for Meaning.
00:34:48.539 --> 00:34:51.179
Like he is in like we've heard a lot of the things.
00:34:51.478 --> 00:34:51.958
Yeah.
00:34:51.958 --> 00:34:51.960
Yeah.
00:34:52.318 --> 00:34:57.478
But it probably, I mean, it's just like, it's kind of the quintessential book on meaning where he is in.
00:34:58.094 --> 00:35:03.673
As dire situations as you can pretty much possibly think, you know, every right to say, why does this happen to me?
00:35:03.914 --> 00:35:10.664
But he goes, man's ultimate freedom is the ability to be able to choose, you know, how they respond to this situation, choose their emotions.
00:35:10.668 --> 00:35:11.983
And that's extraordinary.
00:35:11.983 --> 00:35:14.653
Like that's some, like, that's not just like a namby-pamby thing.
00:35:14.653 --> 00:35:19.574
He was in the worst situation and you, you're able to, you're able to say that.
00:35:19.844 --> 00:35:28.483
So that level of third level of kind of being able to choose and then that fourth level is the opportunity and when do you focus on who you want to be?
00:35:28.724 --> 00:35:35.384
A lot of times that opportunity just naturally arises to provide the solution for that situation.
00:35:35.574 --> 00:35:37.494
But you have to train yourself to recognize.
00:35:38.454 --> 00:35:39.384
Am I operating?
00:35:39.384 --> 00:35:43.554
You know, like you talked about, am I operating out of fear or am I operating out of love?
00:35:43.554 --> 00:35:45.324
Or who do I wanna be in this situation?
00:35:45.324 --> 00:35:45.384
Yeah.
00:35:45.684 --> 00:35:49.793
Um, and it's, it's totally different way to approach, approach living.
00:35:50.094 --> 00:35:52.284
And it takes practice, it takes training, it takes, oh, it
00:35:52.523 --> 00:35:52.643
did.
00:35:52.643 --> 00:35:53.574
Absolutely takes practice.
00:35:53.574 --> 00:35:53.753
Yeah.
00:35:53.759 --> 00:36:02.733
No, I've been doing this for almost, I'm on my 14th year now, and it's taken a lot of, I guess they call it intentional practice or awareness practice and understanding that stuff.
00:36:02.733 --> 00:36:03.094
Yeah.
00:36:03.123 --> 00:36:04.503
You, you're hitting the nail on the head.
00:36:04.503 --> 00:36:11.494
Choose who you wanna be and then start to have everything revolve, evolve, I should say, evolve around that.
00:36:11.543 --> 00:36:19.034
As far as your meditation routines or just kind of developing awareness, do you have any tips for how people can go about doing that?
00:36:19.884 --> 00:36:29.574
You know, the two tips I would have, one is that daydreaming, take a minute as many times as you can a day and just daydream, imagine the best life and the best version of you.
00:36:30.153 --> 00:36:33.393
There's a meditation that I started doing about six months ago.
00:36:33.393 --> 00:36:34.684
I don't even know how to describe it.
00:36:34.684 --> 00:36:43.059
But if I use the metaphor of a cell phone, when your cell phone is low on battery, you have a cord and you plug it into a charger.
00:36:43.539 --> 00:36:43.688
Mm-hmm.
00:36:43.748 --> 00:36:43.989
Okay.
00:36:43.989 --> 00:36:45.248
And it charges.
00:36:45.818 --> 00:36:52.478
And so what I do, and I actually do this when I'm laying in bed, like the last 10 minutes before I actually get up in the morning.
00:36:52.483 --> 00:36:55.088
So that's, going back to your question, my morning routine.
00:36:55.088 --> 00:36:57.489
This is something I do almost every morning now.
00:36:58.039 --> 00:37:05.579
I lay there and allow your mind, your body, and your spirit just to fill with joy and love and happiness.
00:37:05.579 --> 00:37:07.289
That's the only way I know how to describe it.
00:37:08.068 --> 00:37:25.418
And for someone who's beginning at this, I would just say focus on all the exciting, wonderful things that you have going on in your life and focus on all the exciting and wonderful things that you know, not, that you hope for, not that you wish for, but you know, will be a part of your life in six weeks, a year or whatever.
00:37:25.958 --> 00:37:31.989
You just allow those feelings of love and health and passion and joy just to flow through you and just allow it to charge yourself.
00:37:32.018 --> 00:37:35.798
And that is the most powerful meditation that I do now.
00:37:35.798 --> 00:37:37.659
I do that and then a lot of journaling.
00:37:38.168 --> 00:37:38.289
Mm-hmm.
00:37:38.568 --> 00:37:41.028
okay, this is my life right now.
00:37:41.028 --> 00:37:46.338
This is all messed up with regards to, I don't know, coworker relationship or something like that.
00:37:46.338 --> 00:37:53.088
So I'll just start journaling, just let the pen flow and I'll get about three, four, I mean three, four pages in, and I'm like, oh my God.
00:37:54.599 --> 00:38:00.509
I was being inauthentic towards that person because I had an insecurity, I had a fear about something.
00:38:00.509 --> 00:38:03.539
And then through the journaling, that fear of insecurity will come out.
00:38:04.048 --> 00:38:10.498
Then once I can identify that, I can immediately replace it with what I do want to, I want love and peace and help and happiness.
00:38:10.498 --> 00:38:10.858
Mm-hmm.
00:38:10.949 --> 00:38:14.668
And so next time I'm interacting, I know how to better handle that situation.
00:38:14.719 --> 00:38:15.949
But I would say the two things.
00:38:15.949 --> 00:38:16.219
Yeah.
00:38:16.248 --> 00:38:25.579
Do practice the daydreaming and practice the morning meditation where you just allow your heart to open up and fill with love and joy and peace, and health and happiness.
00:38:25.659 --> 00:38:28.929
Those are the values that I want my life to be about.
00:38:29.679 --> 00:38:33.369
That's who I'm stepping into more and more every day.
00:38:34.164 --> 00:38:43.193
and my vision is, is to become this bigger source and this bigger version of love, health, and happiness for the world, one person at a time.
00:38:43.463 --> 00:38:43.614
Mm-hmm.
00:38:43.884 --> 00:38:46.134
I'm so blessed to have the life I do.
00:38:46.614 --> 00:39:05.494
My lifestyle has not made any sense at all to a lot of people because they're so wrapped up in society's definition of lifestyle, the big house, the car, and, okay, well, you're stuck with, you know, X amount of mortgage every month and I'm traveling to three different countries, which, you know, again, what do you want your life to be about?
00:39:06.164 --> 00:39:12.284
Such a simple question that so many people really have a hard time questioning for me at this stage in my journey.
00:39:12.284 --> 00:39:13.813
And it, it evolves, it changes.
00:39:13.813 --> 00:39:16.543
But for right now, I want my life to be a big adventure.
00:39:16.994 --> 00:39:17.204
Mm-hmm.
00:39:17.264 --> 00:39:23.773
And that's tiny living, that's traveling, that's hiking in the wilderness, you know, all kinds of stuff.
00:39:23.773 --> 00:39:24.614
So yeah.
00:39:24.619 --> 00:39:27.463
What do you want to be about?
00:39:27.494 --> 00:39:30.344
Uh, if I could leave your listeners with anything, it's that question.
00:39:30.358 --> 00:39:32.628
that's a super, super, great spot.
00:39:32.628 --> 00:39:40.579
To kind of wrap up, I did want to talk just a little bit about what you talked about you know, just receiving, the love and the joy and stuff into that.
00:39:40.608 --> 00:39:48.059
A really powerful thing to be able to learn is to how to be able to shift our state in the situations like we're talking about.
00:39:48.059 --> 00:39:57.773
And, I've had some elite, special forces people on the podcast and they talk about how basically it's, it's the principle for training everything.
00:39:57.773 --> 00:40:02.543
You learn to train something in an environment that has low distractions.
00:40:02.548 --> 00:40:08.454
And this is what essentially meditation a lot of times is, you know, it's like, can I change my state to what I wanna be?
00:40:08.454 --> 00:40:10.554
Whether it's peace, whether it's love, whether it's joy.
00:40:10.884 --> 00:40:12.563
Um, can I change that in a situation?
00:40:12.563 --> 00:40:17.304
Maybe there's no kids around, you know, it's quiet, you know, I have headphones on, I'm listening to lovely music.
00:40:17.903 --> 00:40:22.003
But then you start to add in some of the different things that of life, right?
00:40:22.009 --> 00:40:25.034
You start to add in these different situations.
00:40:25.034 --> 00:40:32.514
So for instance, these elite special forces, if you're learning how to shoot, you learn shooting downrange with earmuffs on with very little distractions.
00:40:32.514 --> 00:40:34.914
Then you start to add in different situations.
00:40:34.914 --> 00:40:35.994
Maybe you add in movement.
00:40:35.998 --> 00:40:37.193
Can I still hit the target?
00:40:37.224 --> 00:40:40.594
Maybe you add in, explosions noise, other people shooting at me, right?
00:40:40.594 --> 00:40:42.153
All of a sudden you ratchet that up.
00:40:42.333 --> 00:40:46.804
Can I still perform this skill in complex, chaotic situations?
00:40:47.014 --> 00:40:54.813
So the question is, can you still access those places of peace and joy and love in the complex, you know, situations?
00:40:54.813 --> 00:41:03.514
That's what you talk about, having these things throughout your day where you're reset around accessing those things in, in the context of your, of your daily life.
00:41:03.514 --> 00:41:05.793
So I wanted to, you know, highlight.
00:41:06.813 --> 00:41:08.373
Can I, can I say something on that real quick?
00:41:08.443 --> 00:41:08.884
Yeah.
00:41:09.123 --> 00:41:10.744
I used to have, well, I still have a philosophy.
00:41:10.744 --> 00:41:12.063
Can you do it when you're tired?
00:41:12.494 --> 00:41:21.199
You had a good night's sleep and you got a full breakfast and you can show up and, and you're hot shower and all that, and you can, you know, perform at a high level.
00:41:21.559 --> 00:41:22.699
But what if you didn't have any of that?
00:41:22.699 --> 00:41:24.079
What if you got a terrible night's sleep?
00:41:24.079 --> 00:41:26.869
What if you haven't had a meal in two days, you haven't showered for a week.
00:41:26.869 --> 00:41:28.849
Can you still perform at a high level?
00:41:29.268 --> 00:41:30.829
And the answer to that is yes.
00:41:30.829 --> 00:41:33.349
And the way you do that is, again, who are you?
00:41:33.708 --> 00:41:41.509
If you know in the bottom of your heart that you are an elite warrior, you will, before the situation, you will show up as an elite warrior.
00:41:42.784 --> 00:41:58.474
If you know that you are a father, a husband of love and compassion and kindness before you're in the the chaos of the situation, you will show up as that, and then in the middle of it, you just take a deep breath, quiet, center yourself and remind yourself who you are.
00:41:58.954 --> 00:42:03.574
I am a, I am a husband and father of joy and compassion and love and repetition.
00:42:03.574 --> 00:42:08.914
Like Tony s says, the more you do that practice, that skill, the stronger you'll get and the easier it becomes.
00:42:09.393 --> 00:42:14.074
So to switch your state in the middle of the situation, it's still possible to do that.
00:42:14.074 --> 00:42:17.523
But to do that you've got to deep breath and focus and center yourself.
00:42:17.824 --> 00:42:22.353
Show up as the person you want to be, know who you are and show up as that person.
00:42:22.353 --> 00:42:25.233
And the more you practice, and the more you do that, the easier it gets.
00:42:25.494 --> 00:42:35.623
Another reverend minister friend of mine, she called it your peace bubble, so that when you're in that situation, your peace bubble doesn't get burst Because if your peace bubble burst, you're allowing it to be burst.
00:42:35.623 --> 00:42:39.074
You're allowing those people to rob you of your personal power.
00:42:39.083 --> 00:42:39.653
Mm-hmm.
00:42:40.313 --> 00:42:45.384
And I would say, and this goes, in general, obviously we started talking about like nutrition and, and things like that too.
00:42:45.653 --> 00:42:48.934
Um, even in these situations, like this is, a challenge for me.
00:42:48.934 --> 00:42:55.574
I have times where I do that really well, and then I have times where my kids, where I haven't gotten to sleep, it was crazy and I just go off on it.
00:42:55.574 --> 00:43:00.954
But using that in a, in a very non-judgmental way and just going it's like the fitness thing.
00:43:00.954 --> 00:43:07.684
It's like, maybe this is a weight that at this current point I can't lift, or I haven't trained well enough to lift this weight.
00:43:07.704 --> 00:43:08.639
But it's feedback.
00:43:08.643 --> 00:43:13.798
And I go, I need to learn how to be more peaceful when I'm tired and when, when things are crazy.
00:43:13.798 --> 00:43:15.838
And same with the exercise and nutrition.
00:43:15.838 --> 00:43:22.974
Like when you fall off, quote unquote the wagon, you know, whatever that means, it's not going, I'm a terrible person, it's going.
00:43:23.853 --> 00:43:30.009
oh, I need to learn how, when things are maybe stressful or chaotic or I'm busy at work or I'm really tired.
00:43:30.219 --> 00:43:33.849
How can I still maintain these behaviors that support who I am?
00:43:34.128 --> 00:43:38.088
So I, I think that's a great spot to kind of wrap it up on going.
00:43:38.094 --> 00:43:45.619
Like, you don't have to use that as, as judgmental against yourself, but you can use it as feedback and go, this is something I need to work on.
00:43:45.668 --> 00:43:48.248
And it's not like you failed in, in terms of what you're doing.
00:43:48.829 --> 00:43:50.798
Self, self-care, self-compassion.
00:43:50.798 --> 00:43:51.818
Yeah, you're right.
00:43:51.818 --> 00:43:52.239
Yeah.
00:43:52.699 --> 00:43:55.403
Even for me, I won't be perfect, I guess, or whatever.
00:43:55.403 --> 00:44:05.634
I won't show up as the person I wanna, I wanna show up as, and I used to really beat myself up, but self-care, self-compassion, self-love, self-forgiveness, goes a long way.
00:44:05.634 --> 00:44:09.474
So I've learned to be more kinder, gentler on myself, starting with myself.
00:44:09.503 --> 00:44:09.713
Yeah.
00:44:09.713 --> 00:44:11.724
I've made myself a priority.
00:44:11.728 --> 00:44:12.264
Mm-hmm.
00:44:12.963 --> 00:44:17.923
um, I kind of mentioned this already, but make your health and wellbeing for yourself first and foremost.
00:44:17.923 --> 00:44:20.914
So, for me, my three priorities are God, health and family.
00:44:21.244 --> 00:44:22.954
So that's my number two priority in life.
00:44:22.983 --> 00:44:24.094
My health and wellbeing.
00:44:24.213 --> 00:44:27.094
And that's another way I'm able to sustain this journey.
00:44:27.094 --> 00:44:30.514
Some people, their health and wellbeing is their number 10 priority.
00:44:30.563 --> 00:44:32.784
Everything else revolves around your health and wellbeing.
00:44:32.784 --> 00:44:36.204
So better relationship with your wife, your kids, all that.
00:44:36.204 --> 00:44:39.384
It starts with you and your own personal health and wellbeing.
00:44:39.414 --> 00:44:39.893
Yeah.
00:44:40.373 --> 00:44:41.634
Yeah, absolutely.
00:44:41.634 --> 00:44:44.153
It's very, very important, very important conversation.
00:44:44.483 --> 00:44:48.809
So where can people go to connect up with you if they want to coach with you or just follow what you're doing?
00:44:49.594 --> 00:44:50.344
Yeah, absolutely.
00:44:50.344 --> 00:44:50.643
Thanks.
00:44:50.643 --> 00:44:51.213
Thanks, Michael.
00:44:51.244 --> 00:44:52.293
www.trainingwithcoachbrad.com is my website.
00:44:52.293 --> 00:44:54.153
All my social media handles are on there.
00:44:54.153 --> 00:44:58.454
The link to my own podcast is on there and yeah, trainingwithcoachbrad.com
00:44:58.653 --> 00:44:59.134
awesome.
00:44:59.134 --> 00:45:03.333
I really, I really appreciate the conversation and like I said, you're somebody who's living it.
00:45:03.338 --> 00:45:11.014
You know, living that tiny RV lifestyle and, you know, being happy and joyful every day and it's, it's really important and sharing with other people as well.
00:45:11.014 --> 00:45:11.733
So yeah.
00:45:11.733 --> 00:45:12.184
Thank you.
00:45:12.213 --> 00:45:13.293
Thank you for the time.
00:45:13.983 --> 00:45:14.463
Thank you.
00:45:14.463 --> 00:45:15.423
Thank you for having me, Michael.
00:45:15.423 --> 00:45:16.023
I appreciate it.
00:45:16.414 --> 00:45:17.134
Absolutely.
