Full Transcript for 140: Non Superficial BS

say stress, but you're asking the cervical spine to stay in extension. 00:02:05.359 --> 00:02:07.840 So she was dealing with with the pain of that. 00:02:08.080 --> 00:02:11.039 Long story short, I took her home with her bike. 00:02:11.199 --> 00:02:15.439 But as we were talking in the car, I got I was getting a little irritated. 00:02:15.680 --> 00:02:18.639 Um, not to say that, you know, I wasn't gracious to help this person. 00:02:18.879 --> 00:02:22.719 I'm more than happy to help her, but it's like, yo, like, go do something about your neck. 00:02:23.039 --> 00:02:23.520 Here's what I mean. 00:02:23.599 --> 00:02:25.360 And I was like, well, what have you been doing for your neck? 00:02:25.439 --> 00:02:26.560 I'm actually in the industry. 00:02:26.800 --> 00:02:29.919 Oh, you know, well, I tried the PT thing and it didn't work. 00:02:30.080 --> 00:02:31.599 So I think I just need a shot. 00:02:31.759 --> 00:02:36.479 And and the thing that was irritating about that is like, yo, lady, like you're not 20 anymore. 00:02:36.639 --> 00:02:40.080 From a recoverability standpoint, cycling isn't great for you. 00:02:40.240 --> 00:02:42.560 It's not restorative, it's abuse. 00:02:42.719 --> 00:02:46.400 So PT is more of a maintenance program to me. 00:02:46.560 --> 00:02:49.599 Like your body is going to be in pain at some point in the future. 00:02:49.680 --> 00:02:51.360 It's stupid to think that it won't be. 00:02:51.599 --> 00:03:01.360 So if you know that you already had the shot and the shot didn't work the first time, because she said that, well, the shot only worked for a short period of time, why wouldn't you lean towards the PT? 00:03:01.520 --> 00:03:04.560 Like it, if they both don't work, why are you looking for it? 00:03:04.639 --> 00:03:10.240 Like, why go through the rigmarole of a fucking shot if you know that because she told me the PT helped temporarily. 00:03:10.400 --> 00:03:12.479 Anyway, that's not what today's episode is about. 00:03:12.560 --> 00:03:13.439 It was just irritating. 00:03:13.520 --> 00:03:28.719 I guess my advice to you is if you know someone dealing with some kind of pain, I don't know what the mental gymnastics, maybe it's a generational thing, but in my mind, if I have a family member that's dealing with some kind of stenosis and we know physical therapy will help, we know shots will help. 00:03:28.800 --> 00:03:31.759 Let's let's veer towards less medication in general. 00:03:31.919 --> 00:03:38.000 I'm not saying I'm not bashing epidurals, but something tells me that she ain't fucking deadlifting, you know, three times her body weight. 00:03:38.159 --> 00:03:39.680 So you can you can use both. 00:03:39.840 --> 00:03:41.919 You can use like the the epidural is like a joke. 00:03:43.120 --> 00:03:48.240 But this then buys you a bit of momentum to kind of so you kind of get the best of both worlds, I guess. 00:03:48.319 --> 00:03:51.360 If that's that's far more pragmatic, yes. 00:03:51.520 --> 00:03:54.240 I

I think that is the more elegant, nuanced approach. 00:03:57.039 --> 00:03:58.800 Brent, it sounded like you wanted to say something. 00:03:59.199 --> 00:04:10.000 No, I mean what always cracks me up when people are like, well, physical therapy didn't they expect to be good as now after six weeks of physical therapy where you're just doing passive exercises. 00:04:10.159 --> 00:04:11.360 It's like that's not right. 00:04:11.520 --> 00:04:16.480 And when she was telling me she was doing she was working out of the hospital group, nothing against the hospital group. 00:04:16.639 --> 00:04:18.240 It's just that's not what she needs. 00:04:18.480 --> 00:04:20.480 It doesn't need quasi-hospital care. 00:04:20.560 --> 00:04:21.600 She needs athlete care. 00:04:21.680 --> 00:04:23.040 And those are those are different. 00:04:23.360 --> 00:04:23.680 Very. 00:04:23.920 --> 00:04:26.560 I don't uh where do you think the disconnect is there? 00:04:26.879 --> 00:04:38.879 Like, frankly, among practitioners, where they don't tell these people like, hey, you're gonna also need to make X, Y, and Z lifestyle changes for this to actually have meaningful impact. 00:04:39.199 --> 00:04:42.720 Well, we've we've talked about the business model before. 00:04:42.959 --> 00:04:47.040 And a lot of these big models are focused on pain cessation. 00:04:47.199 --> 00:04:53.279 They're also dealing with a patient population that discomfort and pain is a novel concept. 00:04:53.519 --> 00:04:59.120 So they're also dealing with, let's say, a shitty customer base in that, well, this makes me feel better, so I'm good. 00:04:59.199 --> 00:05:01.199 I'm like, no, no, no, it's a bit more than that. 00:05:01.360 --> 00:05:05.759 But however, the model rewards the practitioner for kicking them out of the door. 00:05:05.920 --> 00:05:13.600 I'm not saying they're doing it maliciously, I'm just saying that they don't have enough time and liberty and freedom to work with this person, to educate this person. 00:05:13.759 --> 00:05:15.759 It's kind of like, well, okay, now we've hit the track. 00:05:15.920 --> 00:05:17.759 Medicare is kicking you out, so now you're done. 00:05:17.920 --> 00:05:19.600 So because she told me she was on Medicare. 00:05:19.680 --> 00:05:21.600 So I've seen that round robin. 00:05:21.920 --> 00:05:36.240 I mean, hell, if you look at anyone interested in getting into the field, there are a number of practitioners that are physical therapists who will push you away from the field because the economic numbers do not make sense unless you're cash pay. 00:05:36.399 --> 00:05:38.319 They fucking they're fucking terrible. 00:05:38.480 --> 00:05:40.160 Like to work in at somebody else's clinic. 00:05:40.319 --> 00:05:45.360 So I I don't think it's a problem of and then so if you think about that, if you're a PT in that environment. 00:05:45.680 --> 00:05:46.720 How's your neck, by the way? 00:05:47.040 --> 00:05:48.959 You've been yeah, you've been all right. 00:05:49.519 --> 00:05:52.319 I mean, I I'm in my normal amount of pain. 00:05:52.560 --> 00:05:52.639 Yeah. 00:05:52.959 --> 00:05:57.439 I mean, you like your continuous education isn't necessarily focused on late stage. 00:05:57.519 --> 00:05:59.439 It's focused on what you're doing right there and then. 00:05:59.680 --> 00:06:01.199 So it's it's not their fault. 00:06:01.360 --> 00:06:05.759 It's just they're not given they're kind of handcuffed, in my opinion, from an environmental standpoint. 00:06:06.240 --> 00:06:08.639 I it's weird how it's very odd to me. 00:06:08.720 --> 00:06:18.639 And I've taken a different approach to physical therapy over the years where I feel like people wait until it's too late, but then they expect too much out of it in a short amount of time. 00:06:18.879 --> 00:06:30.639 Whereas like if you go early to try to get ahead of something and realize that you're getting tools for the toolbox to fix yourself over the course of the next six months, you can make some meaningful lifestyle changes. 00:06:30.879 --> 00:06:34.800 I also, you know, Matt just asked why we were fixing whatever, you know, how my neck was. 00:06:34.959 --> 00:06:36.720 I'm like, well, it's my normal amount of pain. 00:06:36.800 --> 00:06:39.920 And I realize most people, the normal amount of pain is zero. 00:06:40.079 --> 00:06:51.759 So I often wonder as we talk through this, you know, is that an applicable piece of advice for the masses, or is it just feels like you know, the cortisol shot is not the move. 00:06:51.920 --> 00:06:55.519 It's like I've watched family members where it's like, oh, I got another cortisol shot. 00:06:55.680 --> 00:06:57.120 You're like, Yeah, yeah, that's two weeks. 00:06:57.199 --> 00:06:58.160 That's what that's good for. 00:06:58.399 --> 00:06:58.959 Two weeks. 00:06:59.120 --> 00:07:00.240 Nothing else has changed. 00:07:00.399 --> 00:07:04.879 I I do think the shots are when I think of the shots, I also think of generational. 00:07:05.040 --> 00:07:16.480 So to bring up the older generation's boomer, like when you say, hey, physical therapy in their head, and I know those of you who've gone to PT outside of the military first responder settings have seen this. 00:07:16.720 --> 00:07:33.120 You see the 80-year-old sitting in the corner against the door with the strap that goes over the door, and their hands are up and they pull one down and then they pull the other one down, and then you see the lady on the table with the hot cold pack on her back with E stem. 00:07:33.759 --> 00:07:35.360 It's very passive. 00:07:35.519 --> 00:07:40.240 So that generation looks at physical therapy as feel good, not fix. 00:07:40.560 --> 00:07:44.959 So that kind of leads to well, the way I get fixed is, and then there's this, I it's weird. 00:07:45.040 --> 00:07:53.680 It's like, I don't want to say uh respect for expertise, it's an expectation of expertise in that whatever the doctor says must be true. 00:07:53.839 -->

00:07:56.000 So doctor says, here's a shot. 00:07:56.160 --> 00:08:02.399 Even though, like I know now, like today, for us from a mindset standpoint, we're ready to hear other alternatives. 00:08:02.560 --> 00:08:07.519 But for that generation, if it feels like to me, I need to get cut, I need a shot. 00:08:07.680 --> 00:08:09.439 It's not, oh, I gotta work my way through this. 00:08:09.519 --> 00:08:11.439 Because think about what the environment they were raised in. 00:08:11.519 --> 00:08:13.199 Strength conditioning was not a fucking thing. 00:08:13.360 --> 00:08:21.199 I was I was gonna say that I think it's as much of a cultural thing, both from the medical world and from the the kind of general pop uh side of things. 00:08:21.360 --> 00:08:23.920 It's it's like you said, it's that expectation. 00:08:24.240 --> 00:08:33.440 Probably, to be fair, it's probably worth acknowledging as well that in just the same way as if you go the medical route, you're gonna have different medical treatments or different medical options available. 00:08:33.679 --> 00:08:37.200 There's gonna be a ton of different things that fall under physical therapy. 00:08:37.360 --> 00:08:44.320 Like you might be on the arm of things that G was just talking about, where you're like doing passive arm raises, or you might be something that looks more like West Side Barbell. 00:08:44.399 --> 00:08:47.360 You know, that all of that still can fall under physical therapy. 00:08:47.440 --> 00:08:50.480 So there's a lot of like kind of finding what fits. 00:08:50.639 --> 00:09:04.000 Um and I think it's that'd be definitely something if you're so if you're someone who is listening to this, again, you're I imagine like if you're a listener and you're hearing this and you fall into this category, there's probably some kind of complexity to it. 00:09:04.159 --> 00:09:12.399 But I'd say physical therapy as an umbrella is probably one of the best like catch rules in terms of fixing things, quote unquote, for medium to long term. 00:09:12.559 --> 00:09:15.279 But it's definitely a case of finding what works for you. 00:09:15.440 --> 00:09:19.840 And that's not necessarily gonna be the same as what works for G or Brent or I. 00:09:20.000 --> 00:09:28.399 So finding that and like being able to, again, in quotation market being able to believe the therapist, like believe what you're doing is right and is helping you, that's critical. 00:09:28.480 --> 00:09:30.720 And like that, that takes some exploration. 00:09:30.799 --> 00:09:33.759 It's not going to be like just whatever your your primary care recommends. 00:09:34.000 --> 00:09:41.919 I guess you're also bringing up this notion to me where my head keeps going, it's related to the conference I went this past weekend, but the blind spots, the bias that we have for ourselves. 00:09:42.000 --> 00:09:47.679 So, like the blind spot for this particular generation, when I say this particular generation, I'm talking about 70 and up. 00:09:48.159

--> 00:09:48.879 Boomers. 00:09:49.039 --> 00:09:51.840 Boomers, boomers, boomers, boomers. 00:09:52.399 --> 00:09:56.480 But for them, they were raised in an environment, because I think of my parents all the time. 00:09:56.559 --> 00:09:57.759 They do this all the fucking time. 00:09:58.000 --> 00:10:05.200 Rather than research, like, for example, my my mother is going through some legal stuff with her mother's ex dying. 00:10:05.279 --> 00:10:09.120 My mother, my grandmother just got diagnosed with dementia officially. 00:10:09.279 --> 00:10:11.200 She's had it for a while, but now it's official. 00:10:11.360 --> 00:10:13.279 So my mom's going through all this legal stuff. 00:10:13.519 --> 00:10:18.320 Well, 15 years ago, she would have like asked around, like, oh, who's a good lawyer? 00:10:18.480 --> 00:10:19.039 I can talk to. 00:10:19.200 --> 00:10:22.320 Well, my buddy George down the street is actually a lawyer. 00:10:22.480 --> 00:10:26.000 He specializes in landscape, but I'm sure he can help you with your estate. 00:10:26.240 --> 00:10:32.080 So, so, and so what I mean by that is like there's a bigger uh adherence or or agreance. 00:10:32.159 --> 00:10:39.759 I don't know what the word is, credence is the word, being paid to the opinion of your peers, even if your peers are fucking dumbass. 00:10:39.919 --> 00:10:48.960 So they all they they all talk to, they all talk to each other and and they don't think, well, you know what, I should probably look up what are the best practices. 00:10:49.120 --> 00:10:55.120 You know, like when I say look up, that's for them, it's like, oh, let me go to the library and look up the microfilm. 00:10:55.279 --> 00:10:57.600 You know, like that's that's normal for them. 00:10:57.840 --> 00:11:04.559 Whereas today's generation, if I say, hey, you can go to the library and look at microfilm of newspapers from 1910, they're like, what the fuck is that? 00:11:04.720 --> 00:11:04.879 Yeah. 00:11:05.039 --> 00:11:09.919 So I I I thankfully, I mean, it's a it's not a good or a bad thing, but I think it just is. 00:11:10.080 --> 00:11:16.159 But as we get accustomed to this technology, I think we also get used to accessibility of information. 00:11:16.320 --> 00:11:22.320 So therefore, it's easier for us to at least grasp, hey, maybe cortisol ain't the way to go. 00:11:22.399 --> 00:11:24.960 Or rather, the only way to go, I should say. 00:11:25.120 --> 00:11:29.519 So anyway, all that to say, the conference this past weekend, what was it about? 00:11:29.679 --> 00:11:36.399 So I went to Art of Coaching, which is run by Brett Bartholomew, the non-superficial BS conference. 00:11:36.559 --> 00:11:44.080 When this rolls off quick sidebar, was was Brett the was he like the the glute bridge guy, maybe 10 years ago. 00:11:44.399 --> 00:11:46.240 No, was that Brett Contreras? 00:11:46.399 --> 00:11:47.519 That's Brett Contreras. 00:11:47.759 --> 00:11:47.919 Okay. 00:11:48.240 --> 00:11:51.440 Also used to be Phoenix based, so I could see why you would think that. 00:11:51.600 --> 00:11:52.639 The glute guy. 00:11:52.799 --> 00:12:01.039 If you want to, if guys, if you want to know how to develop your glutes, or you want your if you're if you want a female to develop their glutes, I'd steer him towards the glute guy. 00:12:01.200 --> 00:12:04.399 So, I mean, because that he decided that's a good moniker for him. 00:12:04.480 --> 00:12:05.840 That's his that's his base. 00:12:06.080 --> 00:12:10.240 Anyway, I say that because I've learned how to develop glutes with this guy, the glute guy. 00:12:10.399 --> 00:12:19.360 No, Brett Bartholomew's former exos and broke off because he wanted to focus on the social science of coaching and communication. 00:12:19.600 --> 00:12:19.919 Yeah. 00:12:20.080 --> 00:12:24.559 And this conference was essentially, if I had to sum it up, it was for the late stage practitioner. 00:12:24.720 --> 00:12:35.200 When I say practitioner, it need not be strength and conditioning related, because there was there were some executives there, there were psychologists there, focused on identity, authenticity, and complexity. 00:12:35.360 --> 00:12:41.120 Now, obviously, a lot of the pre presenters were physical preparation adjacent because that's the network that he's built. 00:12:41.279 --> 00:12:50.799 But the overwhelming, especially in that first day, the overwhelming refrain refrain or chorus I kept hearing was, hey, you shouldn't be looking for external validation. 00:12:50.960 --> 00:12:51.600 What does that mean? 00:12:51.759 --> 00:12:56.879 One of the, well, firstly, a friend of mine, I've mentioned him before, we're gonna have him on a podcast at some point in the future. 00:12:57.039 --> 00:13:00.240 I gotta, we both gotta like just make a commitment and get him on. 00:13:00.399 --> 00:13:15.519 Jess Ellis talked about the underbelly or the dark side of getting into pro sport and how he had slowly over time became more and more Knicks PT director or performance director rather than his own person. 00:13:15.679 --> 00:13:25.679 So inevitably the Knicks decided to go in a here's the thing that's guys, if you're like interested in getting in my field, specifically pro sport, because you see that as a pinnacle, it is not what it's made out to be. 00:13:25.840 --> 00:13:27.519 So he was doing, they were doing well. 00:13:27.679 --> 00:13:31.519 They were doing well when he got laid off or fired, I should say. 00:13:31.679 --> 00:13:34.159 But because the head coach didn't like him, he got let go. 00:13:34.320 --> 00:13:39.600 And uh that fucked with his head because more and more of his time is also this notion of how much time he was spending, right? 00:13:39.759 --> 00:13:41.519 So pro sport demands a lot of your time. 00:13:41.679 --> 00:13:56.480 So it makes sense to me on the surface that the more time you spend with something, the more it becomes part of your identity at the expense of other things, which is to say his

family, which for people in the special operations community, Bran, I feel like you could probably speak to this far better than we could, but it's kind of the same thing. 00:13:56.639 --> 00:14:04.399 You spend a more and more time with that organization, it makes sense that the family will kind of go on the back burner, so to speak, even though they might support you 100%. 00:14:04.960 --> 00:14:15.120 Yeah, it's it's an interesting like I find myself doing this a lot where I have to, you know, put the phone down, not re there's always one more thing to do. 00:14:15.360 --> 00:14:16.240 Like always. 00:14:16.559 --> 00:14:25.279 So it's like, all right, now I've gotta put the phone down, but then there's sometime where sometimes where Yeah, you've got to eat into family time to do the thing. 00:14:25.440 --> 00:14:30.000 You know, I we can go down the rabbit hole on that of like you've got to prioritize this and prioritize that. 00:14:30.080 --> 00:14:43.679 And I I view it as a I've always thought there's not a lot of things that I've done well in life, but triaging priorities where it's like this is the thing that really fucking matters right now for that organization or time or whatever it is. 00:14:43.840 --> 00:14:46.000 I feel like I've always triaged pretty well. 00:14:46.159 --> 00:14:54.159 I'm betting my family would argue that I wait until shit's blowing up to like bump family to the top of the line, though. 00:14:54.480 --> 00:14:58.879 Uh but yeah, I think as you give more to an organization, they also take more, frankly. 00:14:59.200 --> 00:14:59.919 Take more, yeah. 00:15:00.159 --> 00:15:03.120 So Brent, was what was the support system like for that? 00:15:03.440 --> 00:15:05.840 Kind of did and and that's my first question. 00:15:05.919 --> 00:15:08.080 Like was there a support system, what'd it look like? 00:15:08.240 --> 00:15:10.879 And did that evolve or change at all like during the time you were in? 00:15:11.200 --> 00:15:16.720 Yeah, but to so man, I've got a fucked up perception of this, especially in hindsight. 00:15:17.120 --> 00:15:26.399 There was always like there was a empotif was a a thing when I was in so it's the mission is the preservation of the force and family is what that was called. 00:15:26.559 --> 00:15:28.159 Yeah, and I think it still is. 00:15:28.559 --> 00:15:40.240 The idea was that if the unit brought the family into the fold and made them a priority, that it would help with you know the divorce rate and guys getting out of the military. 00:15:40.559 --> 00:15:41.759 Here's the fucking reality. 00:15:41.919 --> 00:15:44.240 When you're in a unit, you're there to do a mission. 00:15:44.320 --> 00:15:46.960 And if you have good missions, you stay in the fucking unit. 00:15:47.200 --> 00:15:53.039 If you don't have mission good missions, you either go to a unit with better missions or you get the fuck out and go get a real job. 00:15:53.279 --> 00:15:54.399 Like that's the reality. 00:15:54.559 --> 00:16:03.200 So bringing the family into the fold, it might create some buy-in, but I I've frankly have never seen that done well and lead to success. 00:16:03.440 --> 00:16:08.080 One of the things that SOCOM started to implement was called head on pillow time. 00:16:08.320 --> 00:16:09.200 Can you guys hear that? 00:16:09.440 --> 00:16:10.960 Yes, your dog's having a dream. 00:16:11.200 --> 00:16:11.840 Oh, is it a dog? 00:16:12.080 --> 00:16:15.600 My dog is having a dream like next to the next to the couch. 00:16:16.000 --> 00:16:16.240 Me. 00:16:16.480 --> 00:16:17.360 You should have left her. 00:16:17.600 --> 00:16:18.960 Let him keep going. 00:16:19.279 --> 00:16:19.600 Yeah. 00:16:19.679 --> 00:16:26.080 So one thing that SOCOM did well that that I kind of agreed with was they they started counting head-on pillow time. 00:16:26.320 --> 00:16:36.000 Meaning you had to collect, I forget how much time it was, but every every deployment cycle, for us at Marsock, it was roughly six month cycles at the time. 00:16:36.159 --> 00:16:49.600 But in an 18-month block, you had to have X amount of head-on pillow time because what was happening for a quite a while was you would be deployed and you're gone, not in the country for six months or ish. 00:16:49.759 --> 00:16:50.879 Then you would come home. 00:16:51.039 --> 00:16:54.159 They'd be like, all right, take a week off or whatever they did. 00:16:54.399 --> 00:16:56.879 Then you would go back into an individual training cycle. 00:16:57.039 --> 00:17:00.399 So now you're at schools, which is typically not at home base. 00:17:00.559 --> 00:17:02.799 So your head is not on your pillow at home. 00:17:02.960 --> 00:17:07.039 You are out in the US at different schools collecting capabilities. 00:17:07.359 --> 00:17:12.720 Then you would go into a phase of team training, and you were often then, again, not at home. 00:17:12.960 --> 00:17:21.680 And so what SOCOM started to do is hold unit commanders accountable to say a guy has to have whatever, 180 days of head-on pillow time in an 18-month cycle. 00:17:21.839 --> 00:17:24.400 And I I think that was a good call, to be honest. 00:17:24.559 --> 00:17:28.160 And I think that was the only meaningful thing that I I could think of. 00:17:28.319 --> 00:17:36.720 I know every unit in SOCOM, as far as I'm aware, has counseling available to service members, and that's support guys as well. 00:17:37.039 --> 00:17:48.559 But I frankly never saw something that like I thought would actually make a difference from the unit perspective, meaning guys quit getting out, guys quit, you know, going to other units, et cetera. 00:17:48.720 --> 00:17:56.240 I think the only time that that guy that became a factor was the guys that you didn't want in the ended anyway, that they weren't deployed anymore, etc. 00:17:56.960 --> 00:17:58.880 So yeah, it's I don't know. 00:17:59.200 --> 00:18:03.839 I have some thoughts on that that are probably super unpopular if we really went

down the rabbit hole. 00:18:04.000 --> 00:18:05.279 But you're you're a fucking tool man. 00:18:05.359 --> 00:18:07.599 Like when you're a commando, you can't be a good family man. 00:18:07.680 --> 00:18:08.079 I'm sorry. 00:18:08.160 --> 00:18:10.079 That's just they're antithetical to each other. 00:18:10.400 --> 00:18:12.880 So you so are you saying because I don't disagree. 00:18:12.960 --> 00:18:14.880 That was another thing like that I uh observed. 00:18:15.119 --> 00:18:27.359 Like if you want to make it to that level, at least in the pro sport sector, or there was a woman there, Jen Wheaterstorm, who actually, I think you guys might remember this photo, especially if I showed it to you. 00:18:27.519 --> 00:18:30.559 Uh, she was uh fitness model for ABB at one point. 00:18:30.640 --> 00:18:38.559 And there's a photo of her, she put it in her presentation where she's doing bicycle, and in the in the gym in the background, there's these uh yellow wings. 00:18:38.720 --> 00:18:43.759 And I have a distinct memory of seeing that ad in Iraq in a fitness magazine somewhere. 00:18:43.920 --> 00:18:51.839 But even with her, like it's it it became extremely clear that to get to the pinnacle, you gotta be single at least. 00:18:52.000 --> 00:19:00.720 I'm not saying you can't have ties, but you gotta be, you gotta family and social might fall down the priority list in order to do that well. 00:19:01.039 --> 00:19:02.960 Yeah, I think that's I don't think you have to be single. 00:19:03.119 --> 00:19:04.640 Yeah, so I don't think you have to be single. 00:19:04.720 --> 00:19:07.920 I think you could hold it together for a time. 00:19:08.079 --> 00:19:26.400 And I have friends who've been married through a 20 plus year operational career, and you know, this isn't and I this isn't a dig against them, but I don't think you can you can't be an A s A plus dad and husband and an A plus operator because one of them's gonna take all your time. 00:19:26.720 --> 00:19:35.519 So if you're gone for nine months out of the year, you know, you're gone for 75% of the family's life, you like there's no way to get that back. 00:19:36.240 --> 00:19:36.400 Right. 00:19:36.960 --> 00:19:37.359 Skype. 00:19:37.599 --> 00:19:37.839 Yeah. 00:19:38.720 --> 00:19:48.079 How much like how much kind of focus or time is is put on like the other side of the equation in terms of like the family again, this is coming from someone who has no experience with this, especially in the States. 00:19:48.480 --> 00:19:52.799 Like how how much support is there for husband, wife at home kids, stuff like that? 00:19:52.960 --> 00:19:54.000 Like, what does that look like? 00:19:54.400 --> 00:19:56.319 I mean, it largely depends on the unit. 00:19:56.559 --> 00:20:03.039 So what I saw is that the community built outside of the unit was more important than the unit itself, frankly. 00:20:03.279 --> 00:20:21.279 So, you know, for uh kids and and wives to have a network that they could lean on when

the husband was gone was Are you guys are you guys the same in like do you have like a married patch, like kind of houses out like that are kind of outside the wire but are like military accommodation and families who live there generally? 00:20:21.680 --> 00:20:24.160 Yeah, so well not there's on-base housing. 00:20:24.400 --> 00:20:26.640 So that's in a neighborhood on the base. 00:20:27.039 --> 00:20:27.279 Okay. 00:20:27.839 --> 00:20:32.160 And then most families get a housing allowance, so they live out in town. 00:20:32.480 --> 00:20:42.160 And most families, I think, are doing that and buying houses and that typically in when I was in at paid your mortgage, I don't know if it still does because mortgages are fucking nuts right now. 00:20:42.559 --> 00:20:44.960 But when I was in at paid your mortgage for sure. 00:20:45.200 --> 00:20:49.680 And so you know, like I owned two gyms next door to military base. 00:20:49.759 --> 00:20:52.559 So or one gym, two locations, however you want to look at that. 00:20:52.720 --> 00:21:00.480 That those became hubs and communities for families including the service members that were, you know, in that. 00:21:00.640 --> 00:21:07.279 But that I s I saw was a really great tool, you know, to have a community built around family. 00:21:07.440 --> 00:21:11.440 But I don't again, I don't I just don't think there's anything a unit can do. 00:21:11.759 --> 00:21:16.640 You know, it'd be like if Softly'd had a fucking mandatory barbecue or or trip. 00:21:16.880 --> 00:21:18.079 It might be good, might be good. 00:21:19.119 --> 00:21:19.920 I always hated those. 00:21:20.319 --> 00:21:26.319 But in the in the reality, like you now have to come, you know, do a trip with your boss or whatever. 00:21:26.480 --> 00:21:30.400 It's like, is that what you want after a 40-hour work week is to go see the same people again? 00:21:30.559 --> 00:21:34.079 Like and in the military, it's it's multiplied exponentially, right? 00:21:34.160 --> 00:21:43.119 You're like, yeah, dude, I just lived with these guys for a month, two months, three months, you know, my weekend that we get back, I don't want to have a fucking barbecue. 00:21:43.279 --> 00:21:43.599 Yeah, yeah. 00:21:44.000 --> 00:21:51.200 You also have a very odd mix in the military of some guys that are trying to they're they're trying like hell to do both, and I commend those dudes. 00:21:51.279 --> 00:21:59.680 I it's it's fucking impossible to me, but they come home and they want to be rock star dad, and they're on a team with a twenty five year old dude with no ties. 00:22:00.240 --> 00:22:00.640 to the world. 00:22:00.880 --> 00:22:12.319 Yeah, sure, a two-hour barbecue is fine, but like the dude that is young wants to, you know, go travel, do whatever he wants to do, not be at a barbecue with toddlers, right? 00:22:12.400 --> 00:22:20.400 And then the guy that's an A1 Dad's like, man, I've got this 25-year-old dude who Ubered to the team barbecue because he's going

to crush 14 beers. 00:22:21.839 --> 00:22:25.839 There's odd dynamics there that I think don't work to bring it all together personally. 00:22:26.880 --> 00:22:28.319 They're at they're at odds. 00:22:29.200 --> 00:22:30.000 Yeah, they're at odds. 00:22:30.079 --> 00:22:35.519 And people are going to and that's not to say that it's a you know a toxic culture or a terrible thing for the unit or a bad thing. 00:22:35.680 --> 00:22:41.759 It's like you're trying to do a pinnacle career that is arguably the I I think it's the hardest job in the world. 00:22:42.079 --> 00:22:45.759 I don't think there's a lot that's eas that's more challenging than that. 00:22:46.559 --> 00:22:47.839 Especially on a family. 00:22:48.160 --> 00:22:52.960 And you're going to do that pinnacle career and you know be a father is really tough. 00:22:53.279 --> 00:22:58.160 So it's it's kind of on what you can do and not the unit. 00:22:58.400 --> 00:23:00.799 But I hope I didn't take us too far down a rabbit hole there. 00:23:01.039 --> 00:23:04.240 No, you have me thinking on on the conference. 00:23:04.319 --> 00:23:12.000 And so there was Jen Widerstorm, James, I his last name slipping my mind, Matt, last name slipping my mind, Jess. 00:23:14.000 --> 00:23:16.400 There was a fifth person Missy. 00:23:16.640 --> 00:23:22.000 Anyway, with all these practitioners or people I should say the the the theme was the same. 00:23:22.079 --> 00:23:25.039 Like they had prioritized win win win win win win. 00:23:25.200 --> 00:23:35.119 And a big reason for that was because they required psychologically speaking validation from someone else which didn't like yeah I remember being like that. 00:23:35.279 --> 00:23:45.440 And uh what was interesting is especi particularly for Jen, I'm not and I think she's going to be transparent about this her presentation was her about realizing firstly she required it too much. 00:23:45.599 --> 00:23:49.200 Like so she she was a fitness model then then she stopped getting phone calls. 00:23:49.359 --> 00:24:11.279 Then she was on the biggest loser as a coach stopped getting phone calls now running Arnold's punk uh she also was a D1 athlete medalist stopped you know like then that finished up and every time it was her about like falling into this state of disrepair and it was really interesting because it's like it feels like for me it only took the one time for me to realize hey that's not healthy. 00:24:11.440 --> 00:24:19.920 She's running a performance for Arnold's punk club Arnold Schwarzenegger so she like knows Arnold Schwarzenegger works with him all the time so that's definitely a high. 00:24:20.079 --> 00:24:22.720 She knows that this is this could go away. 00:24:22.880 --> 00:24:27.519 So it's interesting now at at her age she's now realizing like oh I need to work on this. 00:24:27.680 --> 00:24:43.359 I found it as and I mean this in a positive sense because there was definitely a sense of catharsis for some of these people like James similar thing for him he was going to go play basketball in Europe and then chop the bottom of his foot off and some of his toes with a lawnmower. 00:24:43.519 --> 00:24:56.720 Like whoa that's fucking metal but it felt like to me when they were presenting they were this was like kind of like them acknowledging and and realizing that hey that that need for external validation is fucking with your head. 00:24:56.880 --> 00:25:01.359 Matt was uh an executive for Lockheed Martin who owns a contract with Canada. 00:25:01.519 --> 00:25:09.680 His was interesting this is just this is something I've been thinking a lot about so when I said authenticity a big reason for that is because they didn't they were like presenting with mask off. 00:25:09.839 --> 00:25:12.480 So they were being very honest with themselves and with the audience. 00:25:12.640 --> 00:25:17.839 Matt was talking about his frustrations and a need for selfishness when being a caregiver for another human being. 00:25:18.079 --> 00:25:22.240 His wife just imagine I just want you guys to put yourself in in his shoes. 00:25:22.400 --> 00:25:28.799 Imagine your wife had a stroke and now and forever has memory issues and wheelchair bounty like what would you do? 00:25:28.960 --> 00:25:34.799 And that was essentially what his presentation was about like you can focus too much on her and forget about yourself. 00:25:35.039 --> 00:25:44.319 So it that fucked with my head because it was real and I would recognize the woman he was talking about from posts that Brett have made has made in the past like prior to the stroke. 00:25:44.480 --> 00:25:45.759 So and I remember him as well. 00:25:45.839 --> 00:25:48.480 So that was like oh holy shit I didn't know this was going on. 00:25:48.720 --> 00:25:52.319 So that was essentially identity identity loss existential crisis. 00:25:52.400 --> 00:25:54.480 That's what I observed from these people. 00:25:54.799 --> 00:26:00.240 So it was interesting because the refrain once again was external validation doesn't matter. 00:26:00.319 --> 00:26:02.799 That's what I kept getting because these people were still working through it. 00:26:02.960 --> 00:26:04.240 They are not like done. 00:26:04.400 --> 00:26:06.960 They are far from it and they I think they would tell you that. 00:26:07.119 --> 00:26:14.880 But for me it was like you're not selling again once again like to me I don't think pro sports where I want to be it no one's selling it to me. 00:26:15.039 --> 00:26:18.000 Or that level like what do you have to do to be Arnold's pump club? 00:26:18.079 --> 00:26:23.359 And Brent to kind of echo what you were talking about it's like if I were to go special operations it's not for me. 00:26:23.440 --> 00:26:27.519 I'm that chapter is closed because of the mental cost or the social cost. 00:26:27.759 --> 00:26:31.599 I'd be giving up a lot there's a lot of there's a lot of doors like that. 00:26:31.759 --> 00:26:33.039 A lot of sales jobs are like that.

00:26:33.119 --> 00:26:35.359 Like yeah you can go make three four hundred grand a year. 00:26:35.440 --> 00:26:42.480 You're gonna sleep five hours a night max and the rest of your waking moments are going to be dedicated to either being on the phone or traveling. 00:26:42.559 --> 00:26:45.359 And when you're traveling you're gonna be on the phone if you're not in a flight. 00:26:45.440 --> 00:26:49.599 Like that doesn't appeal to a lot of us later in life. 00:26:49.839 --> 00:26:50.079 Yeah. 00:26:50.319 --> 00:26:57.599 Later in life yeah you're kind of dumb I find that so like I think we have that a bit in the UK but like nothing like you guys. 00:26:57.759 --> 00:27:02.240 So that alone is like holy shit like people want to do that. 00:27:02.400 --> 00:27:07.839 And I I can like yeah it'd be kind of nice to have like a private jet but like like you said the the costs of that. 00:27:08.240 --> 00:27:21.039 I mean it just No I th I'm trying to remember who said it but I've I've recently I I believe in this and your life doesn't really change once you can go to most restaurants and not look at the menu price. 00:27:21.200 --> 00:27:23.200 Like I don't think life changes after that. 00:27:23.359 --> 00:27:26.799 Because what do you like what are you gonna do after that level? 00:27:26.960 --> 00:27:29.119 Like you why wouldn't you go to Waffle House? 00:27:29.359 --> 00:27:33.440 Yeah yeah exactly why wouldn't you go to Waffle I love Waffle I love Waffle House. 00:27:33.680 --> 00:27:42.720 Yeah because I I mean I've been you know when you talk about work now I think it's it's totally different for me when you're creating something that you find meaning it. 00:27:42.799 --> 00:27:58.559 Like I forwarded you guys the message from the active duty actually I think he's a reservist on active orders but it was like hey since getting on SoftLeet run of my best PT scores ever you know just completed an ultramarathon the whole list and I still really believe in what we do at Softleet. 00:27:58.720 --> 00:28:13.119 And so the the days like Gee I don't know if you've been privy to this yet but there's times where on Thanksgiving day on Christmas like I'm doing customer service right and somehow I feel like once a year we have a fucking app outage on one of those days. 00:28:13.200 --> 00:28:16.640 It's like Thanksgiving or our new app hasn't crashed once. 00:28:17.359 --> 00:28:21.359 So I'm gonna strangle Ryan if it crashes on Thanksgiving or Christmas this year. 00:28:21.440 --> 00:28:31.759 But I feel like I feel like every other year we've had those days where it's like hey guys like I'm gonna be on the computer a whole shitload because it's Thanksgiving or Christmas. 00:28:31.839 --> 00:28:35.599 I own the company like this is what I'm gonna do today because it's the right thing to do. 00:28:35.839 --> 00:28:38.799 So why I draw that as like yeah Matt, I'm with you. 00:28:39.279 --> 00:28:46.880 Am I motivated if you told me I could work 20 hour days

for the next two years and then go get a private jet I'd be like nah kids are young. 00:28:47.039 --> 00:28:51.359 Like I spend time with the wife and the kids like that's where my head is at. 00:28:51.599 --> 00:29:06.559 But there's definitely times in creating something like Softly where you know we're 11 years into this thing going on 12, there's going to be times where it's Christmas again and I'm like hey kids like right after you're done opening presents I'm gonna go back to answering emails because that's the gig today. 00:29:06.880 --> 00:29:17.440 And so I think that for a lot of these people here's where I'm tying it in they're creating that thing in their mind but that that thing they're creating is like their legacy, their experience, their whatever it is. 00:29:17.839 --> 00:29:23.279 And do you think that's like sorry, you go G No I was just saying it was it was it was weird to watch. 00:29:23.599 --> 00:29:27.759 It was cathartic almost for me given my separation from Exos. 00:29:28.000 --> 00:29:40.240 Yeah because it was kind of confirmation like ah this I'm on the I'm on the right path if that makes sense I was going to say G was that because I I know how important like your how important Exos was to your to you in your development like once you got out of the military. 00:29:40.480 --> 00:29:59.839 The role that you left at Exos was that like your this is where I want to get to this is what I want to do or did you kind of did it just sort of happen organically yeah dude I was fucking I was fucking Brent will tell you I I loved it because I had a lot of autonomy and a lot of trust both from Exos and from the guys I was working with. 00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:06.160 So I was allowed to just fucking send it dude I didn't have to worry about anything other than just fucking execute. 00:30:06.319 --> 00:30:19.839 Now part of that was also the model I think it was kind of like they forgot about me but but kind of like in the military like where you just like create a situation like when you're in the military at least my experience was hey do a good enough job that people forget you exist so they don't fuck with you. 00:30:20.000 --> 00:30:23.519 So because like when we were in Flores that doesn't work in business. 00:30:23.759 --> 00:30:30.880 I no but and no it doesn't but I like I'm trying to like explain their model and it it was flawed. 00:30:31.039 --> 00:30:32.160 I'm not saying it was a good thing. 00:30:32.319 --> 00:30:34.720 Their model was like oh well we're not worried about Giovanni. 00:30:34.799 --> 00:30:35.920 Let's go focus on these things. 00:30:36.079 --> 00:30:39.440 Because Giovanni's got it that's kind of like my perception that's what I mean. 00:30:39.519 --> 00:30:40.640 It's not like that they didn't know about it. 00:30:41.119 --> 00:30:49.920 Matt probably I've told Matt that I feel that way about him often but I I also see like see what he's doing is a big piece of it. 00:30:50.000 --> 00:31:03.519 Because

there's for everything we do, there's a digital footprint effectively right like I don't see that he's answering emails to customers but I know he is but I do see in the app when I jump in to be like fuck let me make sure all the messages he's already got it it's like okay he's on it. 00:31:03.759 --> 00:31:04.000 Right. 00:31:04.160 --> 00:31:04.400 Right. 00:31:04.640 --> 00:31:09.440 Yeah well so that's to to your point and credit, like there's a footprint there there wasn't for me. 00:31:09.599 --> 00:31:13.200 It was kind of like they they forgot about it if that makes sense. 00:31:13.440 --> 00:31:21.920 So there was a point for example for the education team where it was just me and one other individual running the whole show and that's not good business in my opinion. 00:31:22.079 --> 00:31:24.960 It wasn't good business and the reason why is because they've kind of forgot about it. 00:31:25.119 --> 00:31:25.759 That's what I mean. 00:31:25.839 --> 00:31:26.799 It wasn't a good thing. 00:31:26.880 --> 00:31:28.559 It was like they forgot about it. 00:31:28.720 --> 00:31:31.440 Mismanagement and then they were like wait a second what's this thing over here? 00:31:31.599 --> 00:31:33.200 What is it what is this guy doing? 00:31:33.359 --> 00:31:36.000 How can we squeeze more profit out of him? 00:31:36.160 --> 00:31:36.720 That's what I mean. 00:31:36.960 --> 00:32:12.240 I hope they kind of I wasn't gonna draw the direct parallel there but there's definitely a time where like as a manager I think about this often because I have to manage frankly creative people right in all of the companies and and collaborate with like even what Matt does at Softly is very creative even though he doesn't think he's creative he is and there's a point of diminishing returns where like if you s this is a terrible analogy but if the lemon was still growing on the mine and you were squeezing juice out of that lemon as it grew there's a a certain amount of pressure that's the sweet spot where it just trickles at the exact rate that it comes in. 00:32:12.559 --> 00:32:22.160 And that's like where you want to keep people who have creative jobs is like you need the flow to go out but you need the flow to come in as well. 00:32:22.240 --> 00:32:25.839 And when you squeeze too hard it's like it kills the fucking lemon entirely. 00:32:26.000 --> 00:32:32.799 And I feel like very few people can watch and be like ooh the flow is slowing I'm gonna let up just a little yeah exactly. 00:32:33.759 --> 00:32:40.640 The other odd thing is that without a little bit of that pressure you won't produce any juice right this is such a weird analogy by the way. 00:32:40.799 --> 00:32:53.759 And so I think it works dude I'm I see it how it appears a lot of creative people and I I lump myself in with this without a little bit of pressure you you you know you loaf about drink wine and eat bread and fuck off. 00:32:53.920 --> 00:33:06.480 Like so you have to have some pressure hopefully it's self-induced but you have to have some of that because and you'll see like it's different for different people and it what I've the hardest people to manage are the ones where it's in fits and spurts. 00:33:06.640 --> 00:33:15.279 So you have that guy that's like dude this motherfucker's on the tear for like two three four months and then for a month or two you're like what is that guy doing every day? 00:33:15.680 --> 00:33:26.400 Those are the most challenging because normally the fits and spurts guys they're so they're above brilliant for a time and then they're like totally fucking useless for a time. 00:33:26.640 --> 00:33:27.839 He's talking about my headaches. 00:33:28.240 --> 00:33:36.720 Yeah talking about G specifically yeah I'm uh I'm dreading it it's coming and of December January that's I gotcha. 00:33:36.960 --> 00:33:53.759 Yeah well because I yeah they they are I have a treatment strategy but it's still like now now I have medication but it's still it's I mean if I beat the shit out of you every for eight weeks every year for five years even though you have medicine for it you're still gonna be in the back of your head literally so front of my head in in that case. 00:33:54.079 --> 00:33:54.880 We will see we'll see. 00:33:55.119 --> 00:34:13.199 Gee, just really quick just kind of go back to the conference did they obviously I I appreciate like from what you were saying the nature of the the presentations maybe weren't set up like this but did they have any kind of like any like roadmaps or any kind of plans for like hey I feel like I'm a little bit on fire. 00:34:13.280 --> 00:34:18.639 I I feel like there's something kind of going on any like any kind of so what's any like well what what do you do about it? 00:34:18.800 --> 00:34:38.000 Yeah I appreciate that and that was one of my yeah I'm not saying this is a criticism but that was one of my Yeah that when you were saying about kind of managing people that are creative I feel like if you're in something like music or art where you where like it is more cyclical that would be a nightmare like trying to trying to kind of stay up on that. 00:34:38.239 --> 00:34:44.719 Yeah it's you know sorry I wasn't sure how long you're gonna jump off for those guys um I I touched a power cord and I didn't like that. 00:34:44.960 --> 00:35:06.239 Yeah I I have a couple friends that are like real artists and for them it is very much fits and spurts like that whole you know creative funk that you always read or hear about artists getting in or like I can't fucking write or single Yeah like write his blog yeah yeah it's super real for those guys I did a I did a one-on-one concert. 00:35:06.400 --> 00:35:28.480 He's just he's a friend but he's like hey man I gotta I gotta pick your brain on some health and nutrition stuff and it was around drinking and he writes songs and so I was like trying to walk him through all of his stuff and he's like well he'll do his stuff in batches and

he's like here's the thing to write songs I gotta get fucked up drinking wine and I was like I think we've talked about this. 00:35:28.719 --> 00:35:34.000 And he still wanted to train and I was like so you're gonna be somewhere where you're just for a week or two gonna write songs? 00:35:34.079 --> 00:35:35.920 He's like yeah and I'm like you don't have anything else to do? 00:35:36.159 --> 00:35:43.039 He's like no because we're trying to fix his sleep I was like can you get hammered during the day like earlier is better and he was like for real? 00:35:43.199 --> 00:35:55.679 I was like yeah like if you wake up and get drunk and get creative and then like sober up, eat eat a meal, drink a lot of water like you should have better sleep than if you like did it later. 00:35:55.840 --> 00:35:59.440 Yeah he's like man I never thought somebody was gonna tell me to get day drunk. 00:35:59.679 --> 00:36:00.719 But yeah I can do that. 00:36:00.800 --> 00:36:03.599 And I was like I mean up if you gotta do it, you gotta do it, right? 00:36:03.760 --> 00:36:04.320 Yeah, yeah. 00:36:04.639 --> 00:36:06.159 It's worth trying and experimenting. 00:36:06.239 --> 00:36:06.400 Yeah. 00:36:06.559 --> 00:36:08.880 Yeah I need to follow up with a mask if he did it. 00:36:09.119 --> 00:36:09.280 Yeah. 00:36:09.440 --> 00:36:10.559 So you asked for takeaways. 00:36:10.639 --> 00:36:25.119 So I got a number of so the first person to present was Juliette Starrett of Kelly Starrett the Ready State so real fucking heavy hitter and her presentation was called Building a Life and Business with your spouse I think is what it was called Building a Business in life with your spouse. 00:36:25.199 --> 00:36:28.800 Yep and uh there was a few takeaways that I took away that I really appreciated. 00:36:28.960 --> 00:36:34.639 So firstly every week so with your spouse firstly they associate work and life together. 00:36:34.800 --> 00:36:37.039 There is no separation and it depends on the person. 00:36:37.119 --> 00:36:39.360 So are you a segmenter or an integrator? 00:36:39.519 --> 00:36:45.199 So meaning do you like to compartmentalize segmenting segmentation like when you come home that's it or do you like to integrate? 00:36:45.360 --> 00:36:46.320 Do you have a tough time of that? 00:36:46.400 --> 00:36:51.199 That's not to say because I think there was a movement there for a few years where no work and life need to be separated. 00:36:51.360 --> 00:36:53.599 And that it's fine for some people but not for others. 00:36:53.760 --> 00:36:55.280 And for them it doesn't work. 00:36:55.360 --> 00:36:56.480 So they're integrators. 00:36:56.639 --> 00:36:57.760 They're both integrators. 00:36:58.000 --> 00:37:02.079 So that was one aspect to consider and think about yourself and your spouse. 00:37:02.320 --> 00:37:09.840 The other thing that they do is that every week this sounds kind of lame but it makes total sense they have a feelings meeting where no defensiveness is allowed. 00:37:10.000 --> 00:37:12.719 So they'll talk about the state of what they're wanting to work on. 00:37:12.800 --> 00:37:22.960 And what that does for them is like for example the example she kept bringing up is a dishwasher Kelly likes to load it chaotically she likes to or load it orderly and that's a tale as old as time. 00:37:23.039 --> 00:37:27.039 You know that's always to me like those two people always get married because that's how it is in our house. 00:37:27.199 --> 00:37:41.679 So because she knew because she was talking about like on a Sunday because she knew she had the feelings meeting she's gonna wait to bring up that issue till Wednesday on the feelings meeting and their feelings meaning like the kids are out of the house. 00:37:41.840 --> 00:37:51.199 Well what ends up happening inevitably is that the small issues like that, which probably have a root cause there's a bigger reason to get irritated by that kind of fades away. 00:37:51.280 --> 00:37:53.599 So now you're not talking about tactics, you're talking about strategy. 00:37:53.679 --> 00:37:58.960 When the meeting comes up you're talking about big stuff because then you realize like that dishwasher thing's not really a big deal. 00:37:59.119 --> 00:38:02.480 So that was something that like create the expectation that there's a weekly meeting. 00:38:02.559 --> 00:38:03.599 So we're gonna do that. 00:38:03.760 --> 00:38:10.639 The other thing that she brought up and this was my only it wasn't a crit yeah I guess it is a criticism she brought up hiring a house manager. 00:38:10.800 --> 00:38:12.480 I can't fucking do that. 00:38:13.119 --> 00:38:19.760 As in like an like that is their job to come to your house, manage your events manage the food all that stuff like that. 00:38:20.000 --> 00:38:25.679 How much money are these people bringing in that are doing this Julia and Kelly Storrett? 00:38:25.840 --> 00:38:30.239 Yeah they like I mean enough they live in Marin County gazillionaires? 00:38:30.559 --> 00:38:39.119 Yeah but they've been in Marin County for like fucking forever well I mean what they have six books they're on podcast appearances all the time she had lawyer or something like that. 00:38:39.360 --> 00:38:41.760 She was a lawyer something pretty high profile back in the day. 00:38:42.000 --> 00:38:56.239 I feel like unless you're making multiple seven figures like a couple million dollars a year a house manager is nuts because like our version of that here and I'm ashamed I'm not ashamed to say it because I don't think it's that much more expensive. 00:38:56.400 --> 00:38:57.760 We don't go to the grocery store. 00:38:57.920 --> 00:39:02.239 We get groceries delivered because it's like I think it literally costs us less than the gas. 00:39:02.400 --> 00:39:16.079 I don't know how these fucking people do it but like that buys you you know that's that's three grocery trips a week basically that we would do that's four hours that's you know that's 12 hours a week

that we buy back. 00:39:16.320 --> 00:39:17.440 That I think makes sense. 00:39:17.679 --> 00:39:21.840 So that's that's I think it's really fucking hard to justify a house manager. 00:39:22.079 --> 00:39:25.440 Like you you have to make a ton of money for that to make sense. 00:39:25.760 --> 00:39:31.760 Yes yes so that was my only like okay well what can I but Brent you just brought it up like that's an example of something we do too. 00:39:31.840 --> 00:39:33.360 It saves us so much time. 00:39:33.920 --> 00:39:39.760 Yeah we don't have to think about we have the we have the lists queued up in our fucking on our phones now so we know what to get. 00:39:40.079 --> 00:39:54.159 Even though my only criticism just really quick so so my wife and I when I when I was in the RAF we lived apart during the week so like I drive back from wherever base late Friday night Saturday night I'd leave Sunday afternoon. 00:39:54.239 --> 00:40:11.760 And in the UK supermarkets like grocery stores only open till like mid-afternoon on a Sunday so for us trying to like do a shop for her at home and me take stuff back to week was always like a nightmare because you're like oh shit it's like 11 o'clock already we've only got a few hours to like get all this stuff done obviously everybody in the entire country is doing the exact same thing. 00:40:11.920 --> 00:40:15.679 So it was like super stressful super high stress like trying to get that sorted. 00:40:15.920 --> 00:40:19.840 So one of the things that this sounds so fucking lame and I'm so sorry. 00:40:20.000 --> 00:40:29.280 Um one of the things we love doing here Tuesday night, Wednesday night go around Aldi or Walmart or Wegmans or whatever it is and it's like a thing because we've never had that. 00:40:29.519 --> 00:40:32.079 Like it's it's not a shit we got to get this done. 00:40:32.159 --> 00:40:35.840 It's it's like a almost a pleasure even with a three year old. 00:40:36.000 --> 00:40:44.000 So like all all I was going to say is I think just like just like Gentil stuff it depends what the yeah what the value add for you guys. 00:40:44.320 --> 00:40:50.880 She brought that up too like she said that they realized you know because a lot of advice would say oh you know you have to take your spouse out on dates. 00:40:50.960 --> 00:40:56.079 You need to go on dates together and they realized that for them dating was well for them mountain biking. 00:40:56.239 --> 00:40:58.079 So like that's how they they spend time with each other. 00:40:58.159 --> 00:41:03.360 They go hiking they go travel not necessarily the classic you know get dressed up and go have a nice dinner. 00:41:03.519 --> 00:41:04.639 So like give yourself permission. 00:41:04.719 --> 00:41:07.280 So Matt, I would say that that's kind of like dating for you guys. 00:41:07.440 --> 00:41:12.079 So mate that's a new level I mean if you're enjoying it that's how I see it. 00:41:12.159 --> 00:41:33.199 I think it's a positive and the other thing she brought up there's two other things because it offloads the mental load she brought up mental load as as far as the spouse that's not it let's say in the classic traditional sense one person is getting bringing the money in while the other person tick may have to also like manage where are the kids going, where are their clothes all the blah blah blah you know all the logistics she called that mental load. 00:41:33.360 --> 00:41:55.599 So you need to offload somehow so that's where the house manager came up but also uh they have someone clo coming to clean a house every week which we can't afford that but we do bring in somebody like once a quarter ish on average and then the other thing was she uses task which once again Brent this is a gun of criticism she uses task rabbit to have someone come in and fold their laundry so it's like I'm not doing it. 00:41:55.679 --> 00:42:10.239 Like is what's task rabbit like what is TaskRabbit is for like like if I said fuck it and I don't want a real job at all, I can just be a person on TaskRabbit and like hey pay me to fold your laundry pay me to mow your lawn pay me to kind of odd job type stuff. 00:42:10.480 --> 00:42:15.119 Odd job stuff yeah but not like handyman more like general living shit. 00:42:15.280 --> 00:42:17.119 So pick up your mail that kind of thing. 00:42:17.360 --> 00:42:27.280 Every once in a while there's a thing that's like hey this is a time hack and it's really just an excuse to not do the thing you hate fucking doing like folded laundry. 00:42:27.440 --> 00:42:35.440 Yeah like folding laundry I don't I don't feel like what's take 10 minutes to fold your laundry like to me that's not a that's a really fast I won the same way. 00:42:35.519 --> 00:42:38.320 Like how much laundry do you need that you actually have to hire someone to do it. 00:42:38.559 --> 00:42:38.880 Yeah. 00:42:39.199 --> 00:42:50.000 And may maybe they do but I in and again once you're at a certain level like to me there's always a math problem side too like I don't own a lawn mower and we we have an acre of grass. 00:42:50.239 --> 00:42:58.480 The problem is an acre of grass requires you to either buy a$10,000 lawn mower or spend five hours mowing your lawn every week. 00:42:58.639 --> 00:43:02.079 So and we also don't need the lawn cut six months out of the year. 00:43:02.320 --> 00:43:12.079 So we pay for somebody to mow the lawn which feels absurd to me because there's literally times where this guy's he's a friend but he's mowing the lawn and I'm like doing an oil change. 00:43:12.320 --> 00:43:13.760 I can mow the lawn, right? 00:43:14.079 --> 00:43:14.400 Yeah. 00:43:14.559 --> 00:43:22.559 But for me there's a math problem there of like okay so if I go buy a$200 lawn mower it's going to take me five fucking hours pushing that thing to mow the grass. 00:43:22.719 --> 00:43:24.320 I'm not spending five hours mowing the grass. 00:43:24.559 --> 00:43:26.719 He knocks down like 45 minutes. 00:43:26.880 -->

00:43:29.840 Well the mower he's got is a$10,000 lawn mower. 00:43:30.000 --> 00:43:40.639 So it's like right can pay him to do it and it would take years for that number to intersect to the$10,000 lawnmower and I don't have to store the$10,000 lawnmower. 00:43:40.800 --> 00:43:55.360 So I get it sometimes where you're like well you could do that it's not that much time but when you're when we're talking about true efficiencies I don't think the task rabbit laundry thing, I think that's just some shit they don't want to do versus like because it's not taking you an hour to fold laundry. 00:43:55.440 --> 00:43:55.920 There's no way. 00:43:56.079 --> 00:43:58.480 No you're right you're right. 00:43:58.800 --> 00:44:02.559 Yeah I think the closest Do an inspection level fucking military grade. 00:44:02.960 --> 00:44:03.199 Yeah. 00:44:03.360 --> 00:44:04.719 Well, like Field Day. 00:44:05.119 --> 00:44:06.320 My wife cooks. 00:44:06.559 --> 00:44:09.039 Like re she's a great cook, phenomenal chef. 00:44:09.280 --> 00:44:11.519 And so she cooks all pretty much all of our meals. 00:44:11.599 --> 00:44:14.239 We only go out when it's like a thing to do. 00:44:14.400 --> 00:44:18.239 Like we don't really go out just because we don't feel like having cooking dinner. 00:44:18.480 --> 00:44:20.480 And she hates doing dishes. 00:44:20.719 --> 00:44:35.519 So, you know, at least half the time there's a lot of times where I'm like, eat dinner back to work, but at least half the time she's she's gonna hear this, but you don't fucking do the dishes half the time, but half the time after dinner specifically, I'm like, hey, go chill out. 00:44:35.679 --> 00:44:37.119 You've been doing shit all day. 00:44:37.280 --> 00:44:40.239 It takes 20, 30 minutes to do the dishes. 00:44:40.480 --> 00:44:42.480 I said, man, it'd be tough to justify. 00:44:42.639 --> 00:44:49.760 I I guess if you batched it and you had somebody come in and they did your dishes and they folded your laundry, that would be an hour. 00:44:49.840 --> 00:44:52.159 And then I guess you're kind of getting some time. 00:44:52.559 --> 00:44:52.880 I guess. 00:44:53.119 --> 00:44:55.599 But to your point, it's like I mean, that's very basic. 00:44:55.840 --> 00:45:02.480 I think the the best time back hack that I've heard as of late was a friend bought a self-driving Tesla used. 00:45:02.719 --> 00:45:06.719 He bought a used self-driving Tesla and they're actually like really fucking cheap. 00:45:06.880 --> 00:45:10.239 And he works on his laptop the whole way to the office. 00:45:10.960 --> 00:45:16.400 So he gets in that thing and he's like, dude, that's an hour, you know, it's thirty thirty something minutes each way. 00:45:16.639 --> 00:45:19.840 He's like, that's another hour that I get back driving. 00:45:20.000 --> 00:45:24.000 Now I really enjoy driving, so I've never fucking having a self-driving Tesla until I'm old. 00:45:24.159 --> 00:45:27.039 But that is, I think, a super legit time hack, right? 00:45:27.119 --> 00:45:36.639 That's like a lot of my friends do that in the UK who like they'll live out like way out and then work in London and will get a huge chunk of their day done on the train. 00:45:36.960 --> 00:45:37.199 Yeah. 00:45:37.440 --> 00:45:37.679 Yeah, yeah. 00:45:37.920 --> 00:45:38.079 Yeah. 00:45:38.239 --> 00:45:39.119 I mean, that's just normal. 00:45:39.440 --> 00:45:41.840 Yeah, that's what I kept thinking of as public transport. 00:45:42.159 --> 00:45:42.480 Yeah, yeah. 00:45:42.719 --> 00:45:43.280 Yeah, it's simple. 00:45:43.679 --> 00:45:46.480 I would do my homework on the train towards ASU. 00:45:46.639 --> 00:45:47.199 That's what I would do. 00:45:47.440 --> 00:45:49.519 Or not the train, but the light rail, whatever you want to call it. 00:45:49.920 --> 00:45:51.679 Gee, really quick, I was just gonna ask you more about that. 00:45:51.840 --> 00:45:53.360 Was it an integrator you called it? 00:45:53.440 --> 00:45:57.360 The opposite of like segmenting your Yeah, segmenter and an integrator. 00:45:57.599 --> 00:45:59.679 And she had a quote about that, but what does that look like? 00:45:59.760 --> 00:46:09.360 I can't like you just talk about what So with her and Kelly, they work is constantly intertwined and difficult to separate from everything else. 00:46:09.599 --> 00:46:12.159 So for integrator, that's how I interpreted it. 00:46:12.320 --> 00:46:22.320 It's someone that when they walk home, they're still thinking about where well, Brent, you would be an integrator because you're still working continuously, even though you have a business that well, because they do too. 00:46:22.480 --> 00:46:26.320 But what I found most impressive is it wasn't a source of stress. 00:46:26.480 --> 00:46:31.119 And perhaps that is because they're both working on the same thing, the same company, right? 00:46:31.280 --> 00:46:32.800 And they're both integrators. 00:46:32.960 --> 00:46:34.880 So they both view it the same way. 00:46:35.039 --> 00:46:37.519 Whereas I feel like I'm more of a segmenter. 00:46:37.679 --> 00:46:44.400 For example, people will reach out to me at odd hours of the night, and I'm trying to put my kid down, like, yo, you're gonna have to wait till tomorrow. 00:46:44.559 --> 00:46:46.559 Like, I'm not I'm not trying to do that right now. 00:46:46.880 --> 00:46:48.159 So that's a segmenter. 00:46:48.960 --> 00:46:49.199 Yeah. 00:46:49.679 --> 00:46:58.880 So I think what she was just calling out is like you need to be able to identify what kind of person you are, what kind of person your spouse is, not to say one is better than the other. 00:46:58.960 --> 00:46:59.440 It's not. 00:46:59.519 --> 00:47:00.480 It's just understanding it. 00:47:00.639 --> 00:47:03.920 Just what you are so that way that reduces friction in some arenas. 00:47:04.320 --> 00:47:05.039 Did I answer your question? 00:47:05.280 --> 00:47:05.679 Yeah, yeah. 00:47:05.840 --> 00:47:09.280 Just I've not kind of come across that

as a as a term or an idea really. 00:47:09.599 --> 00:47:10.079 That makes sense. 00:47:10.320 --> 00:47:14.239 Yeah, there there there's some other things that I loved about her presentation. 00:47:14.400 --> 00:47:18.239 Like she pointed out that most geniuses have someone else that was helping them. 00:47:18.480 --> 00:47:23.760 So like we think of Marie Curie, the person who came up and understood X-rays and radiation. 00:47:23.920 --> 00:47:26.400 Well, her husband helped a lot with that. 00:47:26.880 --> 00:47:28.000 That that was one couple. 00:47:28.079 --> 00:47:33.679 I can I didn't write them most down, most of those down, but she wrote that she was it was very well cited. 00:47:33.760 --> 00:47:38.719 Uh the Matilda effect, boundary theory research, just stuff I have to I have to look into further. 00:47:39.199 --> 00:47:39.519 Let's see. 00:47:39.840 --> 00:47:43.199 Missy talked about protecting your piece, which is she's an integrator. 00:47:43.519 --> 00:47:45.440 This is a fault of hers. 00:47:45.679 --> 00:47:46.880 She doesn't know how to segment. 00:47:47.199 --> 00:47:50.480 So she comes up with frameworks that help manage her time or protect her time. 00:47:50.639 --> 00:48:03.039 So for example, uh one quadrant that she uses if when she's deciding whether or not to work with something or s for someone, does it it's a quadrant, so one and two along the x-axis is does it drain you? 00:48:03.199 --> 00:48:05.119 Oh sorry, does shit. 00:48:05.199 --> 00:48:05.840 Hold on a second. 00:48:06.239 --> 00:48:07.760 Requires you, gives you energy. 00:48:07.920 --> 00:48:08.400 Ah, yes. 00:48:08.639 --> 00:48:11.920 On one side it has, does it give you energy or does it drain you? 00:48:12.079 --> 00:48:22.239 So if it gives you energy, uh and it requires you, that was the other side, it requires you, meaning I have to be the one to deliver, then that's the Catalina fucking wine mixer. 00:48:22.400 --> 00:48:27.440 Whereas if it doesn't require me being there and it drains me, you throw that in the trash. 00:48:28.320 --> 00:48:30.079 Fucking Catalina wine mixer. 00:48:30.239 --> 00:48:31.840 Fucking Catalina wine mixer. 00:48:32.000 --> 00:48:33.119 Prestige worldwide. 00:48:33.360 --> 00:48:33.760 Let's see. 00:48:33.920 --> 00:48:39.599 Hers, she was an example of someone who's like, hmm, because Juliet presented on building a healthier marriage. 00:48:39.679 --> 00:48:46.000 And then uh Missy would tell you this because she said this, like she's working on herself from her therapist says she has a massive ego. 00:48:46.159 --> 00:48:51.679 So she would come downstairs after work, and her husband will want to have dinner with her, and she'd be like, I need time. 00:48:51.840 --> 00:48:52.480 Leave me alone. 00:48:52.639 --> 00:48:53.440 That's the vibe I got. 00:48:53.519 --> 00:48:54.320 I'm like, this is kind of weird. 00:48:54.400 --> 00:48:55.360 He's trying to help you out. 00:48:55.440 --> 00:48:56.719 Like, yo, chill out. 00:48:56.800 --> 00:49:00.400 So anyway, I thought that was very interesting because Juliet was quite the opposite. 00:49:00.639 --> 00:49:02.000 Your your spouse is your partner. 00:49:02.159 --> 00:49:04.000 Let's see, not somebody that takes away. 00:49:04.159 --> 00:49:06.159 That's kind of how that's how kind of how I interpret it. 00:49:06.559 --> 00:49:15.599 I don't really think that's a healthier one that are I was just saying, I think that's a healthier outlook, is your your partner is a partner. 00:49:15.840 --> 00:49:17.039 Your spouse is your partner. 00:49:17.360 --> 00:49:18.079 Yeah, I agree. 00:49:18.239 --> 00:49:18.480 I agree. 00:49:18.719 --> 00:49:21.840 I was gonna say the only the only thing I find, and I don't know if this is exactly the same. 00:49:21.920 --> 00:49:32.960 Like if we have like I'm kind of kind of lucky, I've not had that many like gnarly fire calls, but like if I come back from something where it's been like high output or emotion or whatever, like it's been tough. 00:49:33.199 --> 00:49:41.199 I normally need like give me like 20 minutes, 10, 20 minutes, like just to kind of get my shit together, and then I'll be good and I can like interact better. 00:49:41.360 --> 00:49:43.119 So I I can kind of see that a little bit. 00:49:43.199 --> 00:49:44.639 And that's no I am, yeah. 00:49:44.800 --> 00:49:45.519 And I I agree with that. 00:49:46.320 --> 00:49:53.039 She can't like no, I just need that like kind of maybe that's a segmentary side of things, you know. 00:49:53.119 --> 00:49:54.639 But yeah, you need to decompress. 00:49:55.760 --> 00:50:01.119 It was just the way that yeah, no, that's all Missy was saying, is just I could tell that that's something she's working on. 00:50:01.360 --> 00:50:08.159 Because she wasn't like aware that she was like needing that time because she would bring it, she would bring it to the dinner table, so to speak. 00:50:08.400 --> 00:50:08.960 Well, let's see. 00:50:09.039 --> 00:50:13.920 Yeah, Jess, uh, I'm not gonna go over his entire presentation, just the things that really resonated with me. 00:50:14.079 --> 00:50:24.000 He brought up this uh notion, because he he mentors a lot of uh other physical preparation practices, sorry, specifically physical therapists in his line of work. 00:50:24.159 --> 00:50:26.639 And he brought up this analogy of this ocean. 00:50:26.800 --> 00:50:32.159 And there's only the ocean has a current and there's wind on this on the seas at times. 00:50:32.400 --> 00:50:33.119 You are the ship. 00:50:33.199 --> 00:50:36.480 You have acts, you are running the ship on this in this ocean. 00:50:36.639 --> 00:50:38.480 And there's only a couple things you can do. 00:50:38.639 --> 00:50:44.719 You can open or close the sails, or raise and lower the sails, or you can drop the anchor or raise the anchor. 00:50:44.880 --> 00:50:47.440 Those are the only two things you have control over. 00:50:47.519 --> 00:50:56.559 So if the seas are tumultuous and

and uh you're in a very hard and heavy storm, you can choose to ride through that storm, or you can choose to stay in that storm. 00:50:56.880 --> 00:51:00.239 What you should not do is let the current take you where it wills. 00:51:00.400 --> 00:51:02.159 Because then you're kind of like just reacting. 00:51:02.239 --> 00:51:09.119 You're stuck in this reactive position, and next thing you know, you're in a really shitty situation because you had you didn't take any agency or responsibility for it. 00:51:09.280 --> 00:51:12.559 So I appreciated that he he said that you're in this ocean. 00:51:12.800 --> 00:51:18.320 Sometimes you don't have control, but you do have control in the sense of you can stay where you are or you can ride it out. 00:51:18.480 --> 00:51:19.280 I I really appreciate it. 00:51:19.360 --> 00:51:22.320 It was very elegant, and I'm really understanding his presentation. 00:51:22.480 --> 00:51:28.559 Another one that I thought was prescient, or I shouldn't say prescient, but relevant, particularly with the identity, and I love his use of analogy. 00:51:28.880 --> 00:51:33.199 He brought up uh Cypher in the Matrix, the scene where he's eating the steak. 00:51:33.360 --> 00:51:34.320 Matt, do you remember this? 00:51:34.480 --> 00:51:35.599 I see Brent shaking his head. 00:51:36.159 --> 00:51:43.440 Yeah, so he's talking, he's talking with one of the agents, and he's like, I know when I put this steak in my mouth, it's not real, but my brain perceives it as real. 00:51:43.599 --> 00:51:46.800 And what he was saying was, because he lied to himself. 00:51:46.960 --> 00:51:48.800 I'm I'm kind of shortening the story. 00:51:48.960 --> 00:51:51.519 Jess lied to himself about going to the Knicks. 00:51:51.679 --> 00:51:53.519 He thought it wasn't about his ego. 00:51:53.679 --> 00:51:55.440 It ended up being about his ego. 00:51:55.599 --> 00:52:00.719 So he lied to himself and to his family, but he what he did is he ate the steak, even though it wasn't real. 00:52:00.880 --> 00:52:03.199 And he paid for that, paid the iron price, so to speak. 00:52:03.440 --> 00:52:08.880 That's what the other thing I appreciated about this uh, let's say symposium is that these people acknowledge that they're still working on it. 00:52:08.960 --> 00:52:10.239 It wasn't like they figured it out. 00:52:10.400 --> 00:52:12.159 So there's there are definitely works in progress. 00:52:12.400 --> 00:52:18.719 Kelly Strett, when he spoke on the second day, took, talked about his I3 model and his D2R2 model and his base camp model. 00:52:18.880 --> 00:52:22.480 If you guys aren't familiar with those things, those are things that he's been talking about for a while. 00:52:22.639 --> 00:52:24.559 So I would suggest seeking those out. 00:52:24.719 --> 00:52:27.119 Basecamp essentially is saying, like, how many calories do you need? 00:52:27.199 --> 00:52:28.000 How much protein do you need? 00:52:28.079 --> 00:52:29.119 How much sleep are you getting? 00:52:29.280 --> 00:52:31.039 How much steps are you getting in a day? 00:52:31.360 --> 00:52:37.840 One of the things I always thought about, I mean, I I remember sort of cottoning onto Kelly Stret, like early, early doors. 00:52:38.079 --> 00:52:42.639 He was kind of, funnily enough, he was like one of the people that made me want to go down this kind of route in the first place. 00:52:42.719 --> 00:52:44.400 So a little a little while ago now. 00:52:44.559 --> 00:52:56.480 And I always loved the ability of anyone, it probably says because I'm an idiot, to make like super complex, difficult to comprehend concepts and ideas, make them kind of bite-sized and like Yeah. 00:52:56.719 --> 00:52:58.239 Kind of like understandable. 00:52:58.400 --> 00:53:00.079 I think he I think he's really good at that. 00:53:00.320 --> 00:53:09.039 So you're talking you're speaking to something that was kind of running in the background, uh, particularly for his talk and others, uh, this notion of complexity and how to understand complexity. 00:53:09.199 --> 00:53:23.199 So one thing that he called out was working with his water pro water water polo women team was seeing a force for the trees and understanding that uh, for example, the shiver reflex that they had when they got out of the water, like which is so weird to me that this wasn't normal. 00:53:23.440 --> 00:53:28.079 Like, no, I guess in in that sport, it's totally acceptable for you to just sit there and shiver. 00:53:28.239 --> 00:53:29.679 Like, get them fucking blankets. 00:53:29.920 --> 00:53:30.880 We got them blankets. 00:53:31.119 --> 00:53:32.559 Like, like, why wouldn't you want that? 00:53:32.639 --> 00:53:36.960 Like, you're gonna facilitate a better state of recovery and then hot water, why not? 00:53:37.199 --> 00:53:45.599 So, like, and they actually had a really, really good season, which to me it seems like common sense, but I guess again, it goes back to the pattern recognition. 00:53:45.679 --> 00:53:50.639 He's really good at that, like seeing everything and how it fits, and like you said, making it easier to understand. 00:53:50.800 --> 00:53:54.719 And I think Stu talked about that at the end, which we'll get to in a moment. 00:53:54.880 --> 00:53:55.840 So let's see, what else? 00:53:56.000 --> 00:53:58.079 Brett Bartholomew spoke, obviously. 00:53:58.159 --> 00:53:59.280 Uh, he spoke about a lot. 00:53:59.440 --> 00:54:02.800 He spoke about essentially understanding the gray, the nuance. 00:54:02.880 --> 00:54:05.920 And I think that's kind of what spurred this this uh seminar to begin with. 00:54:06.480 --> 00:54:09.119 Do you see understanding the gray, as in like the color gray? 00:54:09.440 --> 00:54:10.159 Understanding the gray. 00:54:10.320 --> 00:54:10.480 Yeah. 00:54:10.639 --> 00:54:12.719 Yeah, uh well, nuance specifically. 00:54:13.440 --> 00:54:35.760 So so for example, he taught he brought up an analogy, which I don't I don't have the name of the Alice in front of me,

but there was a neurosurgeon who encountered a situation that was going to damage a patient irreparably, unless so she went and found this atlas of the neural network that she had to work with that helped her solve this problem. 00:54:35.920 --> 00:54:46.239 Well, it turns out that atlas was derived from Jewish people that were being experimented on, hopefully not vivisected, but experimented on during the World War II and Holocaust. 00:54:46.400 --> 00:54:48.079 So there was an ethical dilemma there. 00:54:48.320 --> 00:54:56.480 So essentially his presentation was about how to understand how to use something, not necessarily so overt or concrete as that, but some darker aspects. 00:54:56.639 --> 00:55:04.880 Yeah, some darker aspects of yourself for your own betterment later, because that in a in an in that in and of itself is not necessarily bad or good. 00:55:05.039 --> 00:55:07.280 It just is, because that's kind of the world that we live in. 00:55:07.360 --> 00:55:10.719 We don't live in a fair world of black and white, good and evil. 00:55:10.960 --> 00:55:17.760 So we should take our account of ourselves accordingly to do that as well, to live in the real world, so to speak, to acknowledge reality. 00:55:17.920 --> 00:55:19.119 So that's what his talk was about. 00:55:19.280 --> 00:55:29.360 What I present what I appreciated about his presentation was his ability to move around the space from a proxemic standpoint, uh, as far as like presence, like working the whole room. 00:55:29.440 --> 00:55:31.199 He wasn't afraid to walk away from the screen. 00:55:31.280 --> 00:55:32.400 It was very natural for him. 00:55:32.719 --> 00:55:41.920 Musicality of his speech, so he knew when to get loud and when to get quiet, his ability to present, which in my opinion, like that should be something that he should be awesome at. 00:55:42.000 --> 00:55:43.360 And he he did a great job of that. 00:55:43.519 --> 00:55:44.960 Humor as well, use of humor. 00:55:45.199 --> 00:55:45.599 Let's see. 00:55:45.760 --> 00:55:47.599 Matt, I talked about him with the caregiving. 00:55:47.679 --> 00:55:54.000 And then James, I talked about him with his identity loss with basketball, being a high-level CrossFit coach and CrossFit owner. 00:55:54.159 --> 00:55:58.480 Stu McMillan talked about complexity, as I said earlier, and uh understanding complexity. 00:55:58.559 --> 00:56:09.039 So there's some things that he came up with frameworks and heuristics to help make sense of the madness that is chaos, that is life, how to work with athletes and how to work with human beings. 00:56:09.199 --> 00:56:16.719 I've got a lot written down here that I'm not gonna cover everything over, but let me see if I wrote down authors that we should. 00:56:17.440 --> 00:56:19.280 We can always do a part two of this if that's bad. 00:56:19.679 --> 00:56:19.920 You know what? 00:56:20.159 --> 00:56:26.000 I'm thinking, yeah, well, what I would love is like actually have him or someone on to

talk about complexity. 00:56:26.159 --> 00:56:28.639 Because this is this is uh new for me. 00:56:28.719 --> 00:56:32.000 But I'm trying to think of what we would want to talk about. 00:56:32.400 --> 00:56:37.840 All right, well, I'll say this for one thing, one of those heuristics parts matter, patterns more, purpose most. 00:56:38.079 --> 00:56:53.280 So he was speaking in the context of running, parts being the shapes that we see, you and I, when we're watching someone running, but the patterns, their ability to move in and out of those shapes, but purpose matters more in that, like what is the ultimate expression of that that matters most? 00:56:53.440 --> 00:56:57.119 So for example, so you know, I don't want to go too deep into it. 00:56:57.280 --> 00:56:59.039 The other thing is focus on a superpower. 00:56:59.119 --> 00:57:08.000 So he was working with an Olympic level sprinter for the 2012 Olympic Olympics, and uh he was the fastest accelerator from zero to sixty in the world at the time, but he would fall off. 00:57:08.079 --> 00:57:12.480 He had a he had a sharp tail after 60 meters, and he would just get left in the dust. 00:57:12.800 --> 00:57:19.840 So they at that time, for where him and Dan Paf their heads were at, were well, we got to focus on your late stage top end speed. 00:57:20.000 --> 00:57:20.880 Well, that was a trap. 00:57:21.039 --> 00:57:32.480 He actually ended up getting too slow, and then later on worked with Andrea Gas under the grass, and uh how he's a very light, whippy runner, and therefore focused way more on that and therefore had a great performance. 00:57:32.719 --> 00:57:40.000 So understand what your superpower is, maximize that instead of trying to create a more well-rounded athlete, which is over underselling it. 00:57:40.639 --> 00:57:42.639 There's a whole episode just in that, I think. 00:57:42.960 --> 00:57:44.239 Yeah, and you know what, man? 00:57:44.320 --> 00:57:44.719 It's funny. 00:57:44.800 --> 00:57:49.039 I'm I'm seeing all these heuristics, and I am not seeing a single Knevin. 00:57:49.280 --> 00:57:51.440 Knevin wrote on complexity. 00:57:51.599 --> 00:57:52.320 There's an author. 00:57:52.400 --> 00:57:58.320 I am gonna Lord Morton also, I'm gonna have to look up the authors that he was referencing. 00:57:58.559 --> 00:58:00.559 I feel bad because I don't he referenced this. 00:58:00.719 --> 00:58:01.519 Oh, you know what I did? 00:58:01.599 --> 00:58:02.320 I took photos. 00:58:02.480 --> 00:58:03.119 That's what I did. 00:58:03.199 --> 00:58:04.719 I took photos of the book recommendations. 00:58:04.800 --> 00:58:06.159 I wrote I should have written them down. 00:58:06.320 --> 00:58:08.079 So we'll talk about that on the next one. 00:58:08.320 --> 00:58:14.000 Yeah, I I feel like a whole like we could easily do a whole episode on complexity just in terms of what that means. 00:58:14.719 --> 00:58:20.320 Well, yeah, what that means in like our world and in human performance and training,

and yeah, there's tons to upload. 00:58:20.559 --> 00:58:26.079 Well, systems of yeah, the system that is the human body interacting with the system that is the world. 00:58:26.239 --> 00:58:37.679 I think people don't realize because we're by nature of our psyche and the way we have to operate, we do not realize how much noise there is, and we tend to want to want to oversimplify. 00:58:37.840 --> 00:58:38.320 Yeah. 00:58:38.559 --> 00:58:45.840 So like I wish I had that kind of influence in the sense of if I wanted to be an Olympic sprinter, like I should just do X, Y, and Z, and it just doesn't work like that. 00:58:46.000 --> 00:58:46.639 So yeah. 00:58:46.800 --> 00:58:47.039 All right. 00:58:47.360 --> 00:58:48.320 Well, what are your thoughts, man? 00:58:48.400 --> 00:58:52.400 I I'll say this to sum everything up, I think the conference was definitely worth my time. 00:58:52.559 --> 00:59:03.679 I think if you're uh like looking at the finish line, so to speak, and your military first responder career, I think something like that would it would benefit you because it's not talking about things that are hyper-specific. 00:59:03.840 --> 00:59:07.840 It's talking about real-world things that we all experience, but no one's really talking about it. 00:59:08.000 --> 00:59:11.920 You kind of have to stumble like in our field, we're in the field of self-improvement. 00:59:12.000 --> 00:59:14.800 So like I think it's natural to figure figure stuff out. 00:59:14.960 --> 00:59:24.559 But if it's not natural for you, if your environment's not conducive to that, like i you're not a coach, this could be a great place for you to go and kind of like lay some groundwork down, some foundational work. 00:59:24.800 --> 00:59:27.760 Yeah, and I I think it's also a funny world that we're in. 00:59:27.920 --> 00:59:39.119 And that because you're a coach and you're in this space or you're you take training seriously, which is why you're probably listening to this, both you and the people around you expect to have the you to have this stuff like buttoned up and be all over it. 00:59:39.280 --> 00:59:39.679 Yeah. 00:59:40.639 --> 00:59:42.400 And like that's not the case. 00:59:42.719 --> 00:59:45.440 But I don't think for for very few people is is that the case. 00:59:45.679 --> 00:59:46.480 Yeah, right. 00:59:47.360 --> 00:59:50.320 Yeah, and that's that's kind of uh an important distinction to make. 00:59:50.480 --> 00:59:53.360 And it's not a case of like do as I say, not as I do. 00:59:53.519 --> 00:59:55.039 It's there's kind of more to it than that. 00:59:55.199 --> 00:59:56.960 The stresses is a stress, it's very real. 00:59:57.519 --> 01:00:00.719 And that's why I brought up the uh that's why I brought up the authentic piece. 01:00:00.880 --> 01:00:07.360 Like these people were very they very successful, but also very transparent and authentic about what they were working through through. 01:00:07.599 --> 01:00:08.400 Yeah, yeah. 01:00:08.639 --> 01:00:29.039 Well, maybe that's uh like a decent way to wrap or to to kind of end out this episode is maybe have you got have you got say three, four, five things, if if someone's like listening to this thinking, okay, maybe there's room for improvement in like how I'm managing my life and what's going on, family and social support network and stuff like that. 01:00:29.280 --> 01:00:35.039 Like, have have you got have you got kind of a yeah, like we talked about before, like a roadmap or a where to people go? 01:00:35.599 --> 01:00:50.719 One one thing I heard multiple times from two different presenters was this notion of auditing, auditing yourself very earnestly and honestly, like sit there for 90 minutes in silence and like write with a notebook and like write down what you want to work on, where you're at, career-wise, social-wise, family-wise. 01:00:50.880 --> 01:01:02.559 So that way you know where to move to and and uh what you need to do to to to to to to get over the hump, which sounds so cliche, but you're not gonna know where you need to go if you don't know where you started. 01:01:02.719 --> 01:01:03.840 So Jen brought that up. 01:01:03.920 --> 01:01:13.280 She brought up that, you know, like she brought up this analogy from Stargate, but you're talking about how many known points you need to have in order to figure out the destination. 01:01:13.440 --> 01:01:27.760 And I'm, you know, trying to not use too much of the verbiage that was used during that lecture or during the movie, but before, or rather, just as important, if not more than, if you know the destination, you need to know where you started, where are you starting from? 01:01:27.920 --> 01:01:28.960 So just like with the GPS. 01:01:30.000 --> 01:01:30.400 Yeah, yeah. 01:01:30.480 --> 01:01:34.800 Your GPS nav, like, yeah, you can plug in, let me, where's the nearest Costco? 01:01:34.880 --> 01:01:37.760 But inevitably you're gonna start from somewhere. 01:01:37.920 --> 01:01:39.679 It's gonna plug in where you're at. 01:01:39.840 --> 01:01:43.440 So that that's that was something that she understands now. 01:01:43.599 --> 01:01:52.639 She didn't understand here's the other thing that kind of like I'm 40 now, and this is something that I was fascinated with, and I know I wasn't the only person thinking this. 01:01:52.800 --> 01:01:55.440 I was like, man, like this is all great stuff. 01:01:55.599 --> 01:01:56.960 This is where I'm at right now. 01:01:57.199 --> 01:02:00.000 Would I have listened to this when I was 25? 01:02:00.079 --> 01:02:02.559 And would I, here's the other fucking the dark side of it. 01:02:02.719 --> 01:02:03.440 Can you have both? 01:02:03.599 --> 01:02:08.320 Can you tell someone in their younger age, like, hey, well, here's what I would want, man, for my son. 01:02:08.480 --> 01:02:13.039 I I would want, and I don't know about you, your kids, but I would want him to know these lessons now. 01:02:13.199 --> 01:02:17.679 So no matter what happens in 20 to 30 years, at least he's not dealing with mental baggage. 01:02:17.840 --> 01:02:20.400 This, this, this obsession with external validation. 01:02:20.639 --> 01:02:21.760 He doesn't need it. 01:02:21.920 --> 01:02:24.159 If he has it, we all need it. 01:02:24.400 --> 01:02:25.039 We all do. 01:02:25.199 --> 01:02:26.400 It's just how much. 01:02:26.559 --> 01:02:31.599 If it becomes so important to your identity, then when that's taken away, you're gonna be with me, with the military. 01:02:31.760 --> 01:02:32.559 It's not uncommon. 01:02:32.639 --> 01:02:42.079 Like your whole identity is wrapped around I'm I'm a marine, or for her, I'm a hammer thrower, or I'm a fitness model, or I'm an American gladiator. 01:02:42.239 --> 01:02:44.559 When that's taken away from you, like who are you after? 01:02:44.719 --> 01:02:47.280 And for me, that's that's the most important thing. 01:02:47.440 --> 01:02:52.719 Like, I don't want my son to be in this position where he's fucking shattered and has an existential crisis. 01:02:52.880 --> 01:02:57.920 It's not fun to lose, but it should be you should be healthy about it. 01:02:58.000 --> 01:02:59.360 You shouldn't fucking collapse. 01:02:59.519 --> 01:03:00.559 That's where I want him to be. 01:03:00.639 --> 01:03:02.719 When he loses, he knows how to move forward. 01:03:02.800 --> 01:03:05.760 And he doesn't move forward out of obligation for more external validation. 01:03:05.840 --> 01:03:10.159 No, he moves forward because he has the finish line in mind in a healthy way, strategic way. 01:03:10.320 --> 01:03:12.239 So I think we'll leave it there, huh? 01:03:12.639 --> 01:03:13.199 Sounds good. 01:03:13.360 --> 01:03:13.679 All right. 01:03:13.840 --> 01:03:20.079 Well, listeners, that was a non-superficial no BS conference with Brad Bartholomew and Art of Coaching, worth the time. 01:03:20.239 --> 01:03:22.239 Take a look at it when it comes around next year, hopefully. 01:03:22.320 --> 01:03:25.519 It was it was also apparently the first time they used the complex that he had built. 01:03:25.599 --> 01:03:26.400 So that was kind of cool. 01:03:26.559 --> 01:03:26.719 Okay. 01:03:26.800 --> 01:03:27.760 And you said Arizona. 01:03:28.000 --> 01:03:29.039 Arizona, yes. 01:03:29.199 --> 01:03:30.000 Uh, let's see. 01:03:30.079 --> 01:03:31.599 Uh, you have any final words, man? 01:03:32.159 --> 01:03:32.719 No, no. 01:03:32.960 --> 01:03:33.840 Thanks for sharing. 01:03:33.920 --> 01:03:34.400 That was class. 01:03:34.639 --> 01:03:35.199 Yeah, sure. 01:03:35.360 --> 01:03:37.840 Authenticity, identity, and complexity. 01:03:38.000 --> 01:03:39.199 Those are the things that we focused on. 01:03:39.280 --> 01:03:40.719 That's what I want you guys thinking about this week. 01:03:40.880 --> 01:03:41.679 You have a great one. 01:03:41.840 --> 01:03:42.559 Die living. 01:03:42.719 --> 01:03:43.679 All right, cool.