140: Non Superficial BS

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Peek behind the curtain of the Softly Training Lab with the Softly Performance Podcast.
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The pinnacle of human performance is out there, and we intend to find it.
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Alright, welcome to the next episode of the Softly Performance Podcast.
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I'm your host, Coach G.
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We've got Coach Matt here and head motherfucker in charge, Brent Phillips.
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It's nice to say motherfucker and not have to worry about Well, our 60-year-old listeners are gonna have a fit.
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We we I don't think we ha we probably do have sixty-year-old listeners, though.
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Well, I'm thinking of women that are sitting around the coffee table drinking coffee that's watered down and milk down.
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I do put milk in my coffee.
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Don't judge me.
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We haven't offended your delicate sensibilities.
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All right.
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Today's episode, well, a couple things.
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Firstly, on the way here to the recording uh session, I had to text to let everybody know that I might be running late because I ran into a cyclist surrounded by other cyclists, literally, yeah, with my car, and she had a headache for some reason.
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No, but she was sitting down while everybody else was around.
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I was like, oh, maybe I can help what you did or did not run into somebody with heads.
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No, I did not run her over.
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I almost did on Sunday.
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So I was like, I was wondering what the other cyclists were thinking when I pulled up though.
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Like, I wonder what they're what's going through their heads.
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So anyway, I checked in and they were trying to figure out what to do with this woman.
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She was dealing with something called cervical stenosis, which is a narrowing of the channel that surrounds the nerve, or the spinal cord, I should say, that goes through the cervical spine.
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I I brought this up to my wife.
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She's like, cervix?
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Yeah, well, there's a lot of stuff running down.
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No, not that, not that kind of cervical.
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She did a quick sweep, just to make sure she was all right.
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Yeah.
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So anyway, this woman was dealing with some pretty significant neck pain from cycling.
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For those of you who aren't familiar, like if you think about that arrow-tucked position, you're putting a lot of I shouldn't say stress, but you're asking the cervical spine to stay in extension.
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So she was dealing with with the pain of that.
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Long story short, I took her home with her bike.
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But as we were talking in the car, I got I was getting a little irritated.
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Um, not to say that, you know, I wasn't gracious to help this person.
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I'm more than happy to help her, but it's like, yo, like, go do something about your neck.
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Here's what I mean.
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And I was like, well, what have you been doing for your neck?
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I'm actually in the industry.
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Oh, you know, well, I tried the PT thing and it didn't work.
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So I think I just need a shot.
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And and the thing that was irritating about that is like, yo, lady, like you're not 20 anymore.
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From a recoverability standpoint, cycling isn't great for you.
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It's not restorative, it's abuse.
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So PT is more of a maintenance program to me.
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Like your body is going to be in pain at some point in the future.
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It's stupid to think that it won't be.
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So if you know that you already had the shot and the shot didn't work the first time, because she said that, well, the shot only worked for a short period of time, why wouldn't you lean towards the PT?
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Like it, if they both don't work, why are you looking for it?
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Like, why go through the rigmarole of a fucking shot if you know that because she told me the PT helped temporarily.
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Anyway, that's not what today's episode is about.
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It was just irritating.
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I guess my advice to you is if you know someone dealing with some kind of pain, I don't know what the mental gymnastics, maybe it's a generational thing, but in my mind, if I have a family member that's dealing with some kind of stenosis and we know physical therapy will help, we know shots will help.
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Let's let's veer towards less medication in general.
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I'm not saying I'm not bashing epidurals, but something tells me that she ain't fucking deadlifting, you know, three times her body weight.
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So you can you can use both.
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You can use like the the epidural is like a joke.
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But this then buys you a bit of momentum to kind of so you kind of get the best of both worlds, I guess.
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If that's that's far more pragmatic, yes.
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I I think that is the more elegant, nuanced approach.
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Brent, it sounded like you wanted to say something.
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No, I mean what always cracks me up when people are like, well, physical therapy didn't they expect to be good as now after six weeks of physical therapy where you're just doing passive exercises.
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It's like that's not right.
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And when she was telling me she was doing she was working out of the hospital group, nothing against the hospital group.
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It's just that's not what she needs.
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It doesn't need quasi-hospital care.
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She needs athlete care.
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And those are those are different.
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Very.
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I don't uh where do you think the disconnect is there?
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Like, frankly, among practitioners, where they don't tell these people like, hey, you're gonna also need to make X, Y, and Z lifestyle changes for this to actually have meaningful impact.
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Well, we've we've talked about the business model before.
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And a lot of these big models are focused on pain cessation.
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They're also dealing with a patient population that discomfort and pain is a novel concept.
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So they're also dealing with, let's say, a shitty customer base in that, well, this makes me feel better, so I'm good.
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I'm like, no, no, no, it's a bit more than that.
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But however, the model rewards the practitioner for kicking them out of the door.
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I'm not saying they're doing it maliciously, I'm just saying that they don't have enough time and liberty and freedom to work with this person, to educate this person.
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It's kind of like, well, okay, now we've hit the track.
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Medicare is kicking you out, so now you're done.
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So because she told me she was on Medicare.
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So I've seen that round robin.
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I mean, hell, if you look at anyone interested in getting into the field, there are a number of practitioners that are physical therapists who will push you away from the field because the economic numbers do not make sense unless you're cash pay.
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They fucking they're fucking terrible.
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Like to work in at somebody else's clinic.
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So I I don't think it's a problem of and then so if you think about that, if you're a PT in that environment.
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How's your neck, by the way?
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You've been yeah, you've been all right.
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I mean, I I'm in my normal amount of pain.
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Yeah.
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I mean, you like your continuous education isn't necessarily focused on late stage.
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It's focused on what you're doing right there and then.
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So it's it's not their fault.
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It's just they're not given they're kind of handcuffed, in my opinion, from an environmental standpoint.
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I it's weird how it's very odd to me.
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And I've taken a different approach to physical therapy over the years where I feel like people wait until it's too late, but then they expect too much out of it in a short amount of time.
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Whereas like if you go early to try to get ahead of something and realize that you're getting tools for the toolbox to fix yourself over the course of the next six months, you can make some meaningful lifestyle changes.
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I also, you know, Matt just asked why we were fixing whatever, you know, how my neck was.
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I'm like, well, it's my normal amount of pain.
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And I realize most people, the normal amount of pain is zero.
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So I often wonder as we talk through this, you know, is that an applicable piece of advice for the masses, or is it just feels like you know, the cortisol shot is not the move.
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It's like I've watched family members where it's like, oh, I got another cortisol shot.
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You're like, Yeah, yeah, that's two weeks.
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That's what that's good for.
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Two weeks.
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Nothing else has changed.
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I I do think the shots are when I think of the shots, I also think of generational.
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So to bring up the older generation's boomer, like when you say, hey, physical therapy in their head, and I know those of you who've gone to PT outside of the military first responder settings have seen this.
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You see the 80-year-old sitting in the corner against the door with the strap that goes over the door, and their hands are up and they pull one down and then they pull the other one down, and then you see the lady on the table with the hot cold pack on her back with E stem.
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It's very passive.
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So that generation looks at physical therapy as feel good, not fix.
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So that kind of leads to well, the way I get fixed is, and then there's this, I it's weird.
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It's like, I don't want to say uh respect for expertise, it's an expectation of expertise in that whatever the doctor says must be true.
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So doctor says, here's a shot.
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Even though, like I know now, like today, for us from a mindset standpoint, we're ready to hear other alternatives.
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But for that generation, if it feels like to me, I need to get cut, I need a shot.
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It's not, oh, I gotta work my way through this.
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Because think about what the environment they were raised in.
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Strength conditioning was not a fucking thing.
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I was I was gonna say that I think it's as much of a cultural thing, both from the medical world and from the the kind of general pop uh side of things.
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It's it's like you said, it's that expectation.
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Probably, to be fair, it's probably worth acknowledging as well that in just the same way as if you go the medical route, you're gonna have different medical treatments or different medical options available.
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There's gonna be a ton of different things that fall under physical therapy.
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Like you might be on the arm of things that G was just talking about, where you're like doing passive arm raises, or you might be something that looks more like West Side Barbell.
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You know, that all of that still can fall under physical therapy.
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So there's a lot of like kind of finding what fits.
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Um and I think it's that'd be definitely something if you're so if you're someone who is listening to this, again, you're I imagine like if you're a listener and you're hearing this and you fall into this category, there's probably some kind of complexity to it.
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But I'd say physical therapy as an umbrella is probably one of the best like catch rules in terms of fixing things, quote unquote, for medium to long term.
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But it's definitely a case of finding what works for you.
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And that's not necessarily gonna be the same as what works for G or Brent or I.
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So finding that and like being able to, again, in quotation market being able to believe the therapist, like believe what you're doing is right and is helping you, that's critical.
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And like that, that takes some exploration.
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It's not going to be like just whatever your your primary care recommends.
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I guess you're also bringing up this notion to me where my head keeps going, it's related to the conference I went this past weekend, but the blind spots, the bias that we have for ourselves.
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So, like the blind spot for this particular generation, when I say this particular generation, I'm talking about 70 and up.
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Boomers.
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Boomers, boomers, boomers, boomers.
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But for them, they were raised in an environment, because I think of my parents all the time.
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They do this all the fucking time.
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Rather than research, like, for example, my my mother is going through some legal stuff with her mother's ex dying.
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My mother, my grandmother just got diagnosed with dementia officially.
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She's had it for a while, but now it's official.
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So my mom's going through all this legal stuff.
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Well, 15 years ago, she would have like asked around, like, oh, who's a good lawyer?
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I can talk to.
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Well, my buddy George down the street is actually a lawyer.
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He specializes in landscape, but I'm sure he can help you with your estate.
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So, so, and so what I mean by that is like there's a bigger uh adherence or or agreance.
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I don't know what the word is, credence is the word, being paid to the opinion of your peers, even if your peers are fucking dumbass.
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So they all they they all talk to, they all talk to each other and and they don't think, well, you know what, I should probably look up what are the best practices.
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You know, like when I say look up, that's for them, it's like, oh, let me go to the library and look up the microfilm.
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You know, like that's that's normal for them.
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Whereas today's generation, if I say, hey, you can go to the library and look at microfilm of newspapers from 1910, they're like, what the fuck is that?
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Yeah.
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So I I I thankfully, I mean, it's a it's not a good or a bad thing, but I think it just is.
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But as we get accustomed to this technology, I think we also get used to accessibility of information.
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So therefore, it's easier for us to at least grasp, hey, maybe cortisol ain't the way to go.
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Or rather, the only way to go, I should say.
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So anyway, all that to say, the conference this past weekend, what was it about?
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So I went to Art of Coaching, which is run by Brett Bartholomew, the non-superficial BS conference.
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When this rolls off quick sidebar, was was Brett the was he like the the glute bridge guy, maybe 10 years ago.
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No, was that Brett Contreras?
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That's Brett Contreras.
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Okay.
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Also used to be Phoenix based, so I could see why you would think that.
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The glute guy.
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If you want to, if guys, if you want to know how to develop your glutes, or you want your if you're if you want a female to develop their glutes, I'd steer him towards the glute guy.
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So, I mean, because that he decided that's a good moniker for him.
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That's his that's his base.
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Anyway, I say that because I've learned how to develop glutes with this guy, the glute guy.
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No, Brett Bartholomew's former exos and broke off because he wanted to focus on the social science of coaching and communication.
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Yeah.
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And this conference was essentially, if I had to sum it up, it was for the late stage practitioner.
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When I say practitioner, it need not be strength and conditioning related, because there was there were some executives there, there were psychologists there, focused on identity, authenticity, and complexity.
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Now, obviously, a lot of the pre presenters were physical preparation adjacent because that's the network that he's built.
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But the overwhelming, especially in that first day, the overwhelming refrain refrain or chorus I kept hearing was, hey, you shouldn't be looking for external validation.
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What does that mean?
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One of the, well, firstly, a friend of mine, I've mentioned him before, we're gonna have him on a podcast at some point in the future.
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I gotta, we both gotta like just make a commitment and get him on.
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Jess Ellis talked about the underbelly or the dark side of getting into pro sport and how he had slowly over time became more and more Knicks PT director or performance director rather than his own person.
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So inevitably the Knicks decided to go in a here's the thing that's guys, if you're like interested in getting in my field, specifically pro sport, because you see that as a pinnacle, it is not what it's made out to be.
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So he was doing, they were doing well.
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They were doing well when he got laid off or fired, I should say.
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But because the head coach didn't like him, he got let go.
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And uh that fucked with his head because more and more of his time is also this notion of how much time he was spending, right?
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So pro sport demands a lot of your time.
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So it makes sense to me on the surface that the more time you spend with something, the more it becomes part of your identity at the expense of other things, which is to say his family, which for people in the special operations community, Bran, I feel like you could probably speak to this far better than we could, but it's kind of the same thing.
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You spend a more and more time with that organization, it makes sense that the family will kind of go on the back burner, so to speak, even though they might support you 100%.
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Yeah, it's it's an interesting like I find myself doing this a lot where I have to, you know, put the phone down, not re there's always one more thing to do.
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Like always.
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So it's like, all right, now I've gotta put the phone down, but then there's sometime where sometimes where Yeah, you've got to eat into family time to do the thing.
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You know, I we can go down the rabbit hole on that of like you've got to prioritize this and prioritize that.
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And I I view it as a I've always thought there's not a lot of things that I've done well in life, but triaging priorities where it's like this is the thing that really fucking matters right now for that organization or time or whatever it is.
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I feel like I've always triaged pretty well.
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I'm betting my family would argue that I wait until shit's blowing up to like bump family to the top of the line, though.
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Uh but yeah, I think as you give more to an organization, they also take more, frankly.
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Take more, yeah.
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So Brent, was what was the support system like for that?
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Kind of did and and that's my first question.
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Like was there a support system, what'd it look like?
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And did that evolve or change at all like during the time you were in?
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Yeah, but to so man, I've got a fucked up perception of this, especially in hindsight.
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There was always like there was a empotif was a a thing when I was in so it's the mission is the preservation of the force and family is what that was called.
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Yeah, and I think it still is.
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The idea was that if the unit brought the family into the fold and made them a priority, that it would help with you know the divorce rate and guys getting out of the military.
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Here's the fucking reality.
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When you're in a unit, you're there to do a mission.
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And if you have good missions, you stay in the fucking unit.
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If you don't have mission good missions, you either go to a unit with better missions or you get the fuck out and go get a real job.
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Like that's the reality.
00:15:54.559 --> 00:16:03.200
So bringing the family into the fold, it might create some buy-in, but I I've frankly have never seen that done well and lead to success.
00:16:03.440 --> 00:16:08.080
One of the things that SOCOM started to implement was called head on pillow time.
00:16:08.320 --> 00:16:09.200
Can you guys hear that?
00:16:09.440 --> 00:16:10.960
Yes, your dog's having a dream.
00:16:11.200 --> 00:16:11.840
Oh, is it a dog?
00:16:12.080 --> 00:16:15.600
My dog is having a dream like next to the next to the couch.
00:16:16.000 --> 00:16:16.240
Me.
00:16:16.480 --> 00:16:17.360
You should have left her.
00:16:17.600 --> 00:16:18.960
Let him keep going.
00:16:19.279 --> 00:16:19.600
Yeah.
00:16:19.679 --> 00:16:26.080
So one thing that SOCOM did well that that I kind of agreed with was they they started counting head-on pillow time.
00:16:26.320 --> 00:16:36.000
Meaning you had to collect, I forget how much time it was, but every every deployment cycle, for us at Marsock, it was roughly six month cycles at the time.
00:16:36.159 --> 00:16:49.600
But in an 18-month block, you had to have X amount of head-on pillow time because what was happening for a quite a while was you would be deployed and you're gone, not in the country for six months or ish.
00:16:49.759 --> 00:16:50.879
Then you would come home.
00:16:51.039 --> 00:16:54.159
They'd be like, all right, take a week off or whatever they did.
00:16:54.399 --> 00:16:56.879
Then you would go back into an individual training cycle.
00:16:57.039 --> 00:17:00.399
So now you're at schools, which is typically not at home base.
00:17:00.559 --> 00:17:02.799
So your head is not on your pillow at home.
00:17:02.960 --> 00:17:07.039
You are out in the US at different schools collecting capabilities.
00:17:07.359 --> 00:17:12.720
Then you would go into a phase of team training, and you were often then, again, not at home.
00:17:12.960 --> 00:17:21.680
And so what SOCOM started to do is hold unit commanders accountable to say a guy has to have whatever, 180 days of head-on pillow time in an 18-month cycle.
00:17:21.839 --> 00:17:24.400
And I I think that was a good call, to be honest.
00:17:24.559 --> 00:17:28.160
And I think that was the only meaningful thing that I I could think of.
00:17:28.319 --> 00:17:36.720
I know every unit in SOCOM, as far as I'm aware, has counseling available to service members, and that's support guys as well.
00:17:37.039 --> 00:17:48.559
But I frankly never saw something that like I thought would actually make a difference from the unit perspective, meaning guys quit getting out, guys quit, you know, going to other units, et cetera.
00:17:48.720 --> 00:17:56.240
I think the only time that that guy that became a factor was the guys that you didn't want in the ended anyway, that they weren't deployed anymore, etc.
00:17:56.960 --> 00:17:58.880
So yeah, it's I don't know.
00:17:59.200 --> 00:18:03.839
I have some thoughts on that that are probably super unpopular if we really went down the rabbit hole.
00:18:04.000 --> 00:18:05.279
But you're you're a fucking tool man.
00:18:05.359 --> 00:18:07.599
Like when you're a commando, you can't be a good family man.
00:18:07.680 --> 00:18:08.079
I'm sorry.
00:18:08.160 --> 00:18:10.079
That's just they're antithetical to each other.
00:18:10.400 --> 00:18:12.880
So you so are you saying because I don't disagree.
00:18:12.960 --> 00:18:14.880
That was another thing like that I uh observed.
00:18:15.119 --> 00:18:27.359
Like if you want to make it to that level, at least in the pro sport sector, or there was a woman there, Jen Wheaterstorm, who actually, I think you guys might remember this photo, especially if I showed it to you.
00:18:27.519 --> 00:18:30.559
Uh, she was uh fitness model for ABB at one point.
00:18:30.640 --> 00:18:38.559
And there's a photo of her, she put it in her presentation where she's doing bicycle, and in the in the gym in the background, there's these uh yellow wings.
00:18:38.720 --> 00:18:43.759
And I have a distinct memory of seeing that ad in Iraq in a fitness magazine somewhere.
00:18:43.920 --> 00:18:51.839
But even with her, like it's it it became extremely clear that to get to the pinnacle, you gotta be single at least.
00:18:52.000 --> 00:19:00.720
I'm not saying you can't have ties, but you gotta be, you gotta family and social might fall down the priority list in order to do that well.
00:19:01.039 --> 00:19:02.960
Yeah, I think that's I don't think you have to be single.
00:19:03.119 --> 00:19:04.640
Yeah, so I don't think you have to be single.
00:19:04.720 --> 00:19:07.920
I think you could hold it together for a time.
00:19:08.079 --> 00:19:26.400
And I have friends who've been married through a 20 plus year operational career, and you know, this isn't and I this isn't a dig against them, but I don't think you can you can't be an A s A plus dad and husband and an A plus operator because one of them's gonna take all your time.
00:19:26.720 --> 00:19:35.519
So if you're gone for nine months out of the year, you know, you're gone for 75% of the family's life, you like there's no way to get that back.
00:19:36.240 --> 00:19:36.400
Right.
00:19:36.960 --> 00:19:37.359
Skype.
00:19:37.599 --> 00:19:37.839
Yeah.
00:19:38.720 --> 00:19:48.079
How much like how much kind of focus or time is is put on like the other side of the equation in terms of like the family again, this is coming from someone who has no experience with this, especially in the States.
00:19:48.480 --> 00:19:52.799
Like how how much support is there for husband, wife at home kids, stuff like that?
00:19:52.960 --> 00:19:54.000
Like, what does that look like?
00:19:54.400 --> 00:19:56.319
I mean, it largely depends on the unit.
00:19:56.559 --> 00:20:03.039
So what I saw is that the community built outside of the unit was more important than the unit itself, frankly.
00:20:03.279 --> 00:20:21.279
So, you know, for uh kids and and wives to have a network that they could lean on when the husband was gone was Are you guys are you guys the same in like do you have like a married patch, like kind of houses out like that are kind of outside the wire but are like military accommodation and families who live there generally?
00:20:21.680 --> 00:20:24.160
Yeah, so well not there's on-base housing.
00:20:24.400 --> 00:20:26.640
So that's in a neighborhood on the base.
00:20:27.039 --> 00:20:27.279
Okay.
00:20:27.839 --> 00:20:32.160
And then most families get a housing allowance, so they live out in town.
00:20:32.480 --> 00:20:42.160
And most families, I think, are doing that and buying houses and that typically in when I was in at paid your mortgage, I don't know if it still does because mortgages are fucking nuts right now.
00:20:42.559 --> 00:20:44.960
But when I was in at paid your mortgage for sure.
00:20:45.200 --> 00:20:49.680
And so you know, like I owned two gyms next door to military base.
00:20:49.759 --> 00:20:52.559
So or one gym, two locations, however you want to look at that.
00:20:52.720 --> 00:21:00.480
That those became hubs and communities for families including the service members that were, you know, in that.
00:21:00.640 --> 00:21:07.279
But that I s I saw was a really great tool, you know, to have a community built around family.
00:21:07.440 --> 00:21:11.440
But I don't again, I don't I just don't think there's anything a unit can do.
00:21:11.759 --> 00:21:16.640
You know, it'd be like if Softly'd had a fucking mandatory barbecue or or trip.
00:21:16.880 --> 00:21:18.079
It might be good, might be good.
00:21:19.119 --> 00:21:19.920
I always hated those.
00:21:20.319 --> 00:21:26.319
But in the in the reality, like you now have to come, you know, do a trip with your boss or whatever.
00:21:26.480 --> 00:21:30.400
It's like, is that what you want after a 40-hour work week is to go see the same people again?
00:21:30.559 --> 00:21:34.079
Like and in the military, it's it's multiplied exponentially, right?
00:21:34.160 --> 00:21:43.119
You're like, yeah, dude, I just lived with these guys for a month, two months, three months, you know, my weekend that we get back, I don't want to have a fucking barbecue.
00:21:43.279 --> 00:21:43.599
Yeah, yeah.
00:21:44.000 --> 00:21:51.200
You also have a very odd mix in the military of some guys that are trying to they're they're trying like hell to do both, and I commend those dudes.
00:21:51.279 --> 00:21:59.680
I it's it's fucking impossible to me, but they come home and they want to be rock star dad, and they're on a team with a twenty five year old dude with no ties.
00:22:00.240 --> 00:22:00.640
to the world.
00:22:00.880 --> 00:22:12.319
Yeah, sure, a two-hour barbecue is fine, but like the dude that is young wants to, you know, go travel, do whatever he wants to do, not be at a barbecue with toddlers, right?
00:22:12.400 --> 00:22:20.400
And then the guy that's an A1 Dad's like, man, I've got this 25-year-old dude who Ubered to the team barbecue because he's going to crush 14 beers.
00:22:21.839 --> 00:22:25.839
There's odd dynamics there that I think don't work to bring it all together personally.
00:22:26.880 --> 00:22:28.319
They're at they're at odds.
00:22:29.200 --> 00:22:30.000
Yeah, they're at odds.
00:22:30.079 --> 00:22:35.519
And people are going to and that's not to say that it's a you know a toxic culture or a terrible thing for the unit or a bad thing.
00:22:35.680 --> 00:22:41.759
It's like you're trying to do a pinnacle career that is arguably the I I think it's the hardest job in the world.
00:22:42.079 --> 00:22:45.759
I don't think there's a lot that's eas that's more challenging than that.
00:22:46.559 --> 00:22:47.839
Especially on a family.
00:22:48.160 --> 00:22:52.960
And you're going to do that pinnacle career and you know be a father is really tough.
00:22:53.279 --> 00:22:58.160
So it's it's kind of on what you can do and not the unit.
00:22:58.400 --> 00:23:00.799
But I hope I didn't take us too far down a rabbit hole there.
00:23:01.039 --> 00:23:04.240
No, you have me thinking on on the conference.
00:23:04.319 --> 00:23:12.000
And so there was Jen Widerstorm, James, I his last name slipping my mind, Matt, last name slipping my mind, Jess.
00:23:14.000 --> 00:23:16.400
There was a fifth person Missy.
00:23:16.640 --> 00:23:22.000
Anyway, with all these practitioners or people I should say the the the theme was the same.
00:23:22.079 --> 00:23:25.039
Like they had prioritized win win win win win win.
00:23:25.200 --> 00:23:35.119
And a big reason for that was because they required psychologically speaking validation from someone else which didn't like yeah I remember being like that.
00:23:35.279 --> 00:23:45.440
And uh what was interesting is especi particularly for Jen, I'm not and I think she's going to be transparent about this her presentation was her about realizing firstly she required it too much.
00:23:45.599 --> 00:23:49.200
Like so she she was a fitness model then then she stopped getting phone calls.
00:23:49.359 --> 00:24:11.279
Then she was on the biggest loser as a coach stopped getting phone calls now running Arnold's punk uh she also was a D1 athlete medalist stopped you know like then that finished up and every time it was her about like falling into this state of disrepair and it was really interesting because it's like it feels like for me it only took the one time for me to realize hey that's not healthy.
00:24:11.440 --> 00:24:19.920
She's running a performance for Arnold's punk club Arnold Schwarzenegger so she like knows Arnold Schwarzenegger works with him all the time so that's definitely a high.
00:24:20.079 --> 00:24:22.720
She knows that this is this could go away.
00:24:22.880 --> 00:24:27.519
So it's interesting now at at her age she's now realizing like oh I need to work on this.
00:24:27.680 --> 00:24:43.359
I found it as and I mean this in a positive sense because there was definitely a sense of catharsis for some of these people like James similar thing for him he was going to go play basketball in Europe and then chop the bottom of his foot off and some of his toes with a lawnmower.
00:24:43.519 --> 00:24:56.720
Like whoa that's fucking metal but it felt like to me when they were presenting they were this was like kind of like them acknowledging and and realizing that hey that that need for external validation is fucking with your head.
00:24:56.880 --> 00:25:01.359
Matt was uh an executive for Lockheed Martin who owns a contract with Canada.
00:25:01.519 --> 00:25:09.680
His was interesting this is just this is something I've been thinking a lot about so when I said authenticity a big reason for that is because they didn't they were like presenting with mask off.
00:25:09.839 --> 00:25:12.480
So they were being very honest with themselves and with the audience.
00:25:12.640 --> 00:25:17.839
Matt was talking about his frustrations and a need for selfishness when being a caregiver for another human being.
00:25:18.079 --> 00:25:22.240
His wife just imagine I just want you guys to put yourself in in his shoes.
00:25:22.400 --> 00:25:28.799
Imagine your wife had a stroke and now and forever has memory issues and wheelchair bounty like what would you do?
00:25:28.960 --> 00:25:34.799
And that was essentially what his presentation was about like you can focus too much on her and forget about yourself.
00:25:35.039 --> 00:25:44.319
So it that fucked with my head because it was real and I would recognize the woman he was talking about from posts that Brett have made has made in the past like prior to the stroke.
00:25:44.480 --> 00:25:45.759
So and I remember him as well.
00:25:45.839 --> 00:25:48.480
So that was like oh holy shit I didn't know this was going on.
00:25:48.720 --> 00:25:52.319
So that was essentially identity identity loss existential crisis.
00:25:52.400 --> 00:25:54.480
That's what I observed from these people.
00:25:54.799 --> 00:26:00.240
So it was interesting because the refrain once again was external validation doesn't matter.
00:26:00.319 --> 00:26:02.799
That's what I kept getting because these people were still working through it.
00:26:02.960 --> 00:26:04.240
They are not like done.
00:26:04.400 --> 00:26:06.960
They are far from it and they I think they would tell you that.
00:26:07.119 --> 00:26:14.880
But for me it was like you're not selling again once again like to me I don't think pro sports where I want to be it no one's selling it to me.
00:26:15.039 --> 00:26:18.000
Or that level like what do you have to do to be Arnold's pump club?
00:26:18.079 --> 00:26:23.359
And Brent to kind of echo what you were talking about it's like if I were to go special operations it's not for me.
00:26:23.440 --> 00:26:27.519
I'm that chapter is closed because of the mental cost or the social cost.
00:26:27.759 --> 00:26:31.599
I'd be giving up a lot there's a lot of there's a lot of doors like that.
00:26:31.759 --> 00:26:33.039
A lot of sales jobs are like that.
00:26:33.119 --> 00:26:35.359
Like yeah you can go make three four hundred grand a year.
00:26:35.440 --> 00:26:42.480
You're gonna sleep five hours a night max and the rest of your waking moments are going to be dedicated to either being on the phone or traveling.
00:26:42.559 --> 00:26:45.359
And when you're traveling you're gonna be on the phone if you're not in a flight.
00:26:45.440 --> 00:26:49.599
Like that doesn't appeal to a lot of us later in life.
00:26:49.839 --> 00:26:50.079
Yeah.
00:26:50.319 --> 00:26:57.599
Later in life yeah you're kind of dumb I find that so like I think we have that a bit in the UK but like nothing like you guys.
00:26:57.759 --> 00:27:02.240
So that alone is like holy shit like people want to do that.
00:27:02.400 --> 00:27:07.839
And I I can like yeah it'd be kind of nice to have like a private jet but like like you said the the costs of that.
00:27:08.240 --> 00:27:21.039
I mean it just No I th I'm trying to remember who said it but I've I've recently I I believe in this and your life doesn't really change once you can go to most restaurants and not look at the menu price.
00:27:21.200 --> 00:27:23.200
Like I don't think life changes after that.
00:27:23.359 --> 00:27:26.799
Because what do you like what are you gonna do after that level?
00:27:26.960 --> 00:27:29.119
Like you why wouldn't you go to Waffle House?
00:27:29.359 --> 00:27:33.440
Yeah yeah exactly why wouldn't you go to Waffle I love Waffle I love Waffle House.
00:27:33.680 --> 00:27:42.720
Yeah because I I mean I've been you know when you talk about work now I think it's it's totally different for me when you're creating something that you find meaning it.
00:27:42.799 --> 00:27:58.559
Like I forwarded you guys the message from the active duty actually I think he's a reservist on active orders but it was like hey since getting on SoftLeet run of my best PT scores ever you know just completed an ultramarathon the whole list and I still really believe in what we do at Softleet.
00:27:58.720 --> 00:28:13.119
And so the the days like Gee I don't know if you've been privy to this yet but there's times where on Thanksgiving day on Christmas like I'm doing customer service right and somehow I feel like once a year we have a fucking app outage on one of those days.
00:28:13.200 --> 00:28:16.640
It's like Thanksgiving or our new app hasn't crashed once.
00:28:17.359 --> 00:28:21.359
So I'm gonna strangle Ryan if it crashes on Thanksgiving or Christmas this year.
00:28:21.440 --> 00:28:31.759
But I feel like I feel like every other year we've had those days where it's like hey guys like I'm gonna be on the computer a whole shitload because it's Thanksgiving or Christmas.
00:28:31.839 --> 00:28:35.599
I own the company like this is what I'm gonna do today because it's the right thing to do.
00:28:35.839 --> 00:28:38.799
So why I draw that as like yeah Matt, I'm with you.
00:28:39.279 --> 00:28:46.880
Am I motivated if you told me I could work 20 hour days for the next two years and then go get a private jet I'd be like nah kids are young.
00:28:47.039 --> 00:28:51.359
Like I spend time with the wife and the kids like that's where my head is at.
00:28:51.599 --> 00:29:06.559
But there's definitely times in creating something like Softly where you know we're 11 years into this thing going on 12, there's going to be times where it's Christmas again and I'm like hey kids like right after you're done opening presents I'm gonna go back to answering emails because that's the gig today.
00:29:06.880 --> 00:29:17.440
And so I think that for a lot of these people here's where I'm tying it in they're creating that thing in their mind but that that thing they're creating is like their legacy, their experience, their whatever it is.
00:29:17.839 --> 00:29:23.279
And do you think that's like sorry, you go G No I was just saying it was it was it was weird to watch.
00:29:23.599 --> 00:29:27.759
It was cathartic almost for me given my separation from Exos.
00:29:28.000 --> 00:29:40.240
Yeah because it was kind of confirmation like ah this I'm on the I'm on the right path if that makes sense I was going to say G was that because I I know how important like your how important Exos was to your to you in your development like once you got out of the military.
00:29:40.480 --> 00:29:59.839
The role that you left at Exos was that like your this is where I want to get to this is what I want to do or did you kind of did it just sort of happen organically yeah dude I was fucking I was fucking Brent will tell you I I loved it because I had a lot of autonomy and a lot of trust both from Exos and from the guys I was working with.
00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:06.160
So I was allowed to just fucking send it dude I didn't have to worry about anything other than just fucking execute.
00:30:06.319 --> 00:30:19.839
Now part of that was also the model I think it was kind of like they forgot about me but but kind of like in the military like where you just like create a situation like when you're in the military at least my experience was hey do a good enough job that people forget you exist so they don't fuck with you.
00:30:20.000 --> 00:30:23.519
So because like when we were in Flores that doesn't work in business.
00:30:23.759 --> 00:30:30.880
I no but and no it doesn't but I like I'm trying to like explain their model and it it was flawed.
00:30:31.039 --> 00:30:32.160
I'm not saying it was a good thing.
00:30:32.319 --> 00:30:34.720
Their model was like oh well we're not worried about Giovanni.
00:30:34.799 --> 00:30:35.920
Let's go focus on these things.
00:30:36.079 --> 00:30:39.440
Because Giovanni's got it that's kind of like my perception that's what I mean.
00:30:39.519 --> 00:30:40.640
It's not like that they didn't know about it.
00:30:41.119 --> 00:30:49.920
Matt probably I've told Matt that I feel that way about him often but I I also see like see what he's doing is a big piece of it.
00:30:50.000 --> 00:31:03.519
Because there's for everything we do, there's a digital footprint effectively right like I don't see that he's answering emails to customers but I know he is but I do see in the app when I jump in to be like fuck let me make sure all the messages he's already got it it's like okay he's on it.
00:31:03.759 --> 00:31:04.000
Right.
00:31:04.160 --> 00:31:04.400
Right.
00:31:04.640 --> 00:31:09.440
Yeah well so that's to to your point and credit, like there's a footprint there there wasn't for me.
00:31:09.599 --> 00:31:13.200
It was kind of like they they forgot about it if that makes sense.
00:31:13.440 --> 00:31:21.920
So there was a point for example for the education team where it was just me and one other individual running the whole show and that's not good business in my opinion.
00:31:22.079 --> 00:31:24.960
It wasn't good business and the reason why is because they've kind of forgot about it.
00:31:25.119 --> 00:31:25.759
That's what I mean.
00:31:25.839 --> 00:31:26.799
It wasn't a good thing.
00:31:26.880 --> 00:31:28.559
It was like they forgot about it.
00:31:28.720 --> 00:31:31.440
Mismanagement and then they were like wait a second what's this thing over here?
00:31:31.599 --> 00:31:33.200
What is it what is this guy doing?
00:31:33.359 --> 00:31:36.000
How can we squeeze more profit out of him?
00:31:36.160 --> 00:31:36.720
That's what I mean.
00:31:36.960 --> 00:32:12.240
I hope they kind of I wasn't gonna draw the direct parallel there but there's definitely a time where like as a manager I think about this often because I have to manage frankly creative people right in all of the companies and and collaborate with like even what Matt does at Softly is very creative even though he doesn't think he's creative he is and there's a point of diminishing returns where like if you s this is a terrible analogy but if the lemon was still growing on the mine and you were squeezing juice out of that lemon as it grew there's a a certain amount of pressure that's the sweet spot where it just trickles at the exact rate that it comes in.
00:32:12.559 --> 00:32:22.160
And that's like where you want to keep people who have creative jobs is like you need the flow to go out but you need the flow to come in as well.
00:32:22.240 --> 00:32:25.839
And when you squeeze too hard it's like it kills the fucking lemon entirely.
00:32:26.000 --> 00:32:32.799
And I feel like very few people can watch and be like ooh the flow is slowing I'm gonna let up just a little yeah exactly.
00:32:33.759 --> 00:32:40.640
The other odd thing is that without a little bit of that pressure you won't produce any juice right this is such a weird analogy by the way.
00:32:40.799 --> 00:32:53.759
And so I think it works dude I'm I see it how it appears a lot of creative people and I I lump myself in with this without a little bit of pressure you you you know you loaf about drink wine and eat bread and fuck off.
00:32:53.920 --> 00:33:06.480
Like so you have to have some pressure hopefully it's self-induced but you have to have some of that because and you'll see like it's different for different people and it what I've the hardest people to manage are the ones where it's in fits and spurts.
00:33:06.640 --> 00:33:15.279
So you have that guy that's like dude this motherfucker's on the tear for like two three four months and then for a month or two you're like what is that guy doing every day?
00:33:15.680 --> 00:33:26.400
Those are the most challenging because normally the fits and spurts guys they're so they're above brilliant for a time and then they're like totally fucking useless for a time.
00:33:26.640 --> 00:33:27.839
He's talking about my headaches.
00:33:28.240 --> 00:33:36.720
Yeah talking about G specifically yeah I'm uh I'm dreading it it's coming and of December January that's I gotcha.
00:33:36.960 --> 00:33:53.759
Yeah well because I yeah they they are I have a treatment strategy but it's still like now now I have medication but it's still it's I mean if I beat the shit out of you every for eight weeks every year for five years even though you have medicine for it you're still gonna be in the back of your head literally so front of my head in in that case.
00:33:54.079 --> 00:33:54.880
We will see we'll see.
00:33:55.119 --> 00:34:13.199
Gee, just really quick just kind of go back to the conference did they obviously I I appreciate like from what you were saying the nature of the the presentations maybe weren't set up like this but did they have any kind of like any like roadmaps or any kind of plans for like hey I feel like I'm a little bit on fire.
00:34:13.280 --> 00:34:18.639
I I feel like there's something kind of going on any like any kind of so what's any like well what what do you do about it?
00:34:18.800 --> 00:34:38.000
Yeah I appreciate that and that was one of my yeah I'm not saying this is a criticism but that was one of my Yeah that when you were saying about kind of managing people that are creative I feel like if you're in something like music or art where you where like it is more cyclical that would be a nightmare like trying to trying to kind of stay up on that.
00:34:38.239 --> 00:34:44.719
Yeah it's you know sorry I wasn't sure how long you're gonna jump off for those guys um I I touched a power cord and I didn't like that.
00:34:44.960 --> 00:35:06.239
Yeah I I have a couple friends that are like real artists and for them it is very much fits and spurts like that whole you know creative funk that you always read or hear about artists getting in or like I can't fucking write or single Yeah like write his blog yeah yeah it's super real for those guys I did a I did a one-on-one concert.
00:35:06.400 --> 00:35:28.480
He's just he's a friend but he's like hey man I gotta I gotta pick your brain on some health and nutrition stuff and it was around drinking and he writes songs and so I was like trying to walk him through all of his stuff and he's like well he'll do his stuff in batches and he's like here's the thing to write songs I gotta get fucked up drinking wine and I was like I think we've talked about this.
00:35:28.719 --> 00:35:34.000
And he still wanted to train and I was like so you're gonna be somewhere where you're just for a week or two gonna write songs?
00:35:34.079 --> 00:35:35.920
He's like yeah and I'm like you don't have anything else to do?
00:35:36.159 --> 00:35:43.039
He's like no because we're trying to fix his sleep I was like can you get hammered during the day like earlier is better and he was like for real?
00:35:43.199 --> 00:35:55.679
I was like yeah like if you wake up and get drunk and get creative and then like sober up, eat eat a meal, drink a lot of water like you should have better sleep than if you like did it later.
00:35:55.840 --> 00:35:59.440
Yeah he's like man I never thought somebody was gonna tell me to get day drunk.
00:35:59.679 --> 00:36:00.719
But yeah I can do that.
00:36:00.800 --> 00:36:03.599
And I was like I mean up if you gotta do it, you gotta do it, right?
00:36:03.760 --> 00:36:04.320
Yeah, yeah.
00:36:04.639 --> 00:36:06.159
It's worth trying and experimenting.
00:36:06.239 --> 00:36:06.400
Yeah.
00:36:06.559 --> 00:36:08.880
Yeah I need to follow up with a mask if he did it.
00:36:09.119 --> 00:36:09.280
Yeah.
00:36:09.440 --> 00:36:10.559
So you asked for takeaways.
00:36:10.639 --> 00:36:25.119
So I got a number of so the first person to present was Juliette Starrett of Kelly Starrett the Ready State so real fucking heavy hitter and her presentation was called Building a Life and Business with your spouse I think is what it was called Building a Business in life with your spouse.
00:36:25.199 --> 00:36:28.800
Yep and uh there was a few takeaways that I took away that I really appreciated.
00:36:28.960 --> 00:36:34.639
So firstly every week so with your spouse firstly they associate work and life together.
00:36:34.800 --> 00:36:37.039
There is no separation and it depends on the person.
00:36:37.119 --> 00:36:39.360
So are you a segmenter or an integrator?
00:36:39.519 --> 00:36:45.199
So meaning do you like to compartmentalize segmenting segmentation like when you come home that's it or do you like to integrate?
00:36:45.360 --> 00:36:46.320
Do you have a tough time of that?
00:36:46.400 --> 00:36:51.199
That's not to say because I think there was a movement there for a few years where no work and life need to be separated.
00:36:51.360 --> 00:36:53.599
And that it's fine for some people but not for others.
00:36:53.760 --> 00:36:55.280
And for them it doesn't work.
00:36:55.360 --> 00:36:56.480
So they're integrators.
00:36:56.639 --> 00:36:57.760
They're both integrators.
00:36:58.000 --> 00:37:02.079
So that was one aspect to consider and think about yourself and your spouse.
00:37:02.320 --> 00:37:09.840
The other thing that they do is that every week this sounds kind of lame but it makes total sense they have a feelings meeting where no defensiveness is allowed.
00:37:10.000 --> 00:37:12.719
So they'll talk about the state of what they're wanting to work on.
00:37:12.800 --> 00:37:22.960
And what that does for them is like for example the example she kept bringing up is a dishwasher Kelly likes to load it chaotically she likes to or load it orderly and that's a tale as old as time.
00:37:23.039 --> 00:37:27.039
You know that's always to me like those two people always get married because that's how it is in our house.
00:37:27.199 --> 00:37:41.679
So because she knew because she was talking about like on a Sunday because she knew she had the feelings meeting she's gonna wait to bring up that issue till Wednesday on the feelings meeting and their feelings meaning like the kids are out of the house.
00:37:41.840 --> 00:37:51.199
Well what ends up happening inevitably is that the small issues like that, which probably have a root cause there's a bigger reason to get irritated by that kind of fades away.
00:37:51.280 --> 00:37:53.599
So now you're not talking about tactics, you're talking about strategy.
00:37:53.679 --> 00:37:58.960
When the meeting comes up you're talking about big stuff because then you realize like that dishwasher thing's not really a big deal.
00:37:59.119 --> 00:38:02.480
So that was something that like create the expectation that there's a weekly meeting.
00:38:02.559 --> 00:38:03.599
So we're gonna do that.
00:38:03.760 --> 00:38:10.639
The other thing that she brought up and this was my only it wasn't a crit yeah I guess it is a criticism she brought up hiring a house manager.
00:38:10.800 --> 00:38:12.480
I can't fucking do that.
00:38:13.119 --> 00:38:19.760
As in like an like that is their job to come to your house, manage your events manage the food all that stuff like that.
00:38:20.000 --> 00:38:25.679
How much money are these people bringing in that are doing this Julia and Kelly Storrett?
00:38:25.840 --> 00:38:30.239
Yeah they like I mean enough they live in Marin County gazillionaires?
00:38:30.559 --> 00:38:39.119
Yeah but they've been in Marin County for like fucking forever well I mean what they have six books they're on podcast appearances all the time she had lawyer or something like that.
00:38:39.360 --> 00:38:41.760
She was a lawyer something pretty high profile back in the day.
00:38:42.000 --> 00:38:56.239
I feel like unless you're making multiple seven figures like a couple million dollars a year a house manager is nuts because like our version of that here and I'm ashamed I'm not ashamed to say it because I don't think it's that much more expensive.
00:38:56.400 --> 00:38:57.760
We don't go to the grocery store.
00:38:57.920 --> 00:39:02.239
We get groceries delivered because it's like I think it literally costs us less than the gas.
00:39:02.400 --> 00:39:16.079
I don't know how these fucking people do it but like that buys you you know that's that's three grocery trips a week basically that we would do that's four hours that's you know that's 12 hours a week that we buy back.
00:39:16.320 --> 00:39:17.440
That I think makes sense.
00:39:17.679 --> 00:39:21.840
So that's that's I think it's really fucking hard to justify a house manager.
00:39:22.079 --> 00:39:25.440
Like you you have to make a ton of money for that to make sense.
00:39:25.760 --> 00:39:31.760
Yes yes so that was my only like okay well what can I but Brent you just brought it up like that's an example of something we do too.
00:39:31.840 --> 00:39:33.360
It saves us so much time.
00:39:33.920 --> 00:39:39.760
Yeah we don't have to think about we have the we have the lists queued up in our fucking on our phones now so we know what to get.
00:39:40.079 --> 00:39:54.159
Even though my only criticism just really quick so so my wife and I when I when I was in the RAF we lived apart during the week so like I drive back from wherever base late Friday night Saturday night I'd leave Sunday afternoon.
00:39:54.239 --> 00:40:11.760
And in the UK supermarkets like grocery stores only open till like mid-afternoon on a Sunday so for us trying to like do a shop for her at home and me take stuff back to week was always like a nightmare because you're like oh shit it's like 11 o'clock already we've only got a few hours to like get all this stuff done obviously everybody in the entire country is doing the exact same thing.
00:40:11.920 --> 00:40:15.679
So it was like super stressful super high stress like trying to get that sorted.
00:40:15.920 --> 00:40:19.840
So one of the things that this sounds so fucking lame and I'm so sorry.
00:40:20.000 --> 00:40:29.280
Um one of the things we love doing here Tuesday night, Wednesday night go around Aldi or Walmart or Wegmans or whatever it is and it's like a thing because we've never had that.
00:40:29.519 --> 00:40:32.079
Like it's it's not a shit we got to get this done.
00:40:32.159 --> 00:40:35.840
It's it's like a almost a pleasure even with a three year old.
00:40:36.000 --> 00:40:44.000
So like all all I was going to say is I think just like just like Gentil stuff it depends what the yeah what the value add for you guys.
00:40:44.320 --> 00:40:50.880
She brought that up too like she said that they realized you know because a lot of advice would say oh you know you have to take your spouse out on dates.
00:40:50.960 --> 00:40:56.079
You need to go on dates together and they realized that for them dating was well for them mountain biking.
00:40:56.239 --> 00:40:58.079
So like that's how they they spend time with each other.
00:40:58.159 --> 00:41:03.360
They go hiking they go travel not necessarily the classic you know get dressed up and go have a nice dinner.
00:41:03.519 --> 00:41:04.639
So like give yourself permission.
00:41:04.719 --> 00:41:07.280
So Matt, I would say that that's kind of like dating for you guys.
00:41:07.440 --> 00:41:12.079
So mate that's a new level I mean if you're enjoying it that's how I see it.
00:41:12.159 --> 00:41:33.199
I think it's a positive and the other thing she brought up there's two other things because it offloads the mental load she brought up mental load as as far as the spouse that's not it let's say in the classic traditional sense one person is getting bringing the money in while the other person tick may have to also like manage where are the kids going, where are their clothes all the blah blah blah you know all the logistics she called that mental load.
00:41:33.360 --> 00:41:55.599
So you need to offload somehow so that's where the house manager came up but also uh they have someone clo coming to clean a house every week which we can't afford that but we do bring in somebody like once a quarter ish on average and then the other thing was she uses task which once again Brent this is a gun of criticism she uses task rabbit to have someone come in and fold their laundry so it's like I'm not doing it.
00:41:55.679 --> 00:42:10.239
Like is what's task rabbit like what is TaskRabbit is for like like if I said fuck it and I don't want a real job at all, I can just be a person on TaskRabbit and like hey pay me to fold your laundry pay me to mow your lawn pay me to kind of odd job type stuff.
00:42:10.480 --> 00:42:15.119
Odd job stuff yeah but not like handyman more like general living shit.
00:42:15.280 --> 00:42:17.119
So pick up your mail that kind of thing.
00:42:17.360 --> 00:42:27.280
Every once in a while there's a thing that's like hey this is a time hack and it's really just an excuse to not do the thing you hate fucking doing like folded laundry.
00:42:27.440 --> 00:42:35.440
Yeah like folding laundry I don't I don't feel like what's take 10 minutes to fold your laundry like to me that's not a that's a really fast I won the same way.
00:42:35.519 --> 00:42:38.320
Like how much laundry do you need that you actually have to hire someone to do it.
00:42:38.559 --> 00:42:38.880
Yeah.
00:42:39.199 --> 00:42:50.000
And may maybe they do but I in and again once you're at a certain level like to me there's always a math problem side too like I don't own a lawn mower and we we have an acre of grass.
00:42:50.239 --> 00:42:58.480
The problem is an acre of grass requires you to either buy a$10,000 lawn mower or spend five hours mowing your lawn every week.
00:42:58.639 --> 00:43:02.079
So and we also don't need the lawn cut six months out of the year.
00:43:02.320 --> 00:43:12.079
So we pay for somebody to mow the lawn which feels absurd to me because there's literally times where this guy's he's a friend but he's mowing the lawn and I'm like doing an oil change.
00:43:12.320 --> 00:43:13.760
I can mow the lawn, right?
00:43:14.079 --> 00:43:14.400
Yeah.
00:43:14.559 --> 00:43:22.559
But for me there's a math problem there of like okay so if I go buy a$200 lawn mower it's going to take me five fucking hours pushing that thing to mow the grass.
00:43:22.719 --> 00:43:24.320
I'm not spending five hours mowing the grass.
00:43:24.559 --> 00:43:26.719
He knocks down like 45 minutes.
00:43:26.880 --> 00:43:29.840
Well the mower he's got is a$10,000 lawn mower.
00:43:30.000 --> 00:43:40.639
So it's like right can pay him to do it and it would take years for that number to intersect to the$10,000 lawnmower and I don't have to store the$10,000 lawnmower.
00:43:40.800 --> 00:43:55.360
So I get it sometimes where you're like well you could do that it's not that much time but when you're when we're talking about true efficiencies I don't think the task rabbit laundry thing, I think that's just some shit they don't want to do versus like because it's not taking you an hour to fold laundry.
00:43:55.440 --> 00:43:55.920
There's no way.
00:43:56.079 --> 00:43:58.480
No you're right you're right.
00:43:58.800 --> 00:44:02.559
Yeah I think the closest Do an inspection level fucking military grade.
00:44:02.960 --> 00:44:03.199
Yeah.
00:44:03.360 --> 00:44:04.719
Well, like Field Day.
00:44:05.119 --> 00:44:06.320
My wife cooks.
00:44:06.559 --> 00:44:09.039
Like re she's a great cook, phenomenal chef.
00:44:09.280 --> 00:44:11.519
And so she cooks all pretty much all of our meals.
00:44:11.599 --> 00:44:14.239
We only go out when it's like a thing to do.
00:44:14.400 --> 00:44:18.239
Like we don't really go out just because we don't feel like having cooking dinner.
00:44:18.480 --> 00:44:20.480
And she hates doing dishes.
00:44:20.719 --> 00:44:35.519
So, you know, at least half the time there's a lot of times where I'm like, eat dinner back to work, but at least half the time she's she's gonna hear this, but you don't fucking do the dishes half the time, but half the time after dinner specifically, I'm like, hey, go chill out.
00:44:35.679 --> 00:44:37.119
You've been doing shit all day.
00:44:37.280 --> 00:44:40.239
It takes 20, 30 minutes to do the dishes.
00:44:40.480 --> 00:44:42.480
I said, man, it'd be tough to justify.
00:44:42.639 --> 00:44:49.760
I I guess if you batched it and you had somebody come in and they did your dishes and they folded your laundry, that would be an hour.
00:44:49.840 --> 00:44:52.159
And then I guess you're kind of getting some time.
00:44:52.559 --> 00:44:52.880
I guess.
00:44:53.119 --> 00:44:55.599
But to your point, it's like I mean, that's very basic.
00:44:55.840 --> 00:45:02.480
I think the the best time back hack that I've heard as of late was a friend bought a self-driving Tesla used.
00:45:02.719 --> 00:45:06.719
He bought a used self-driving Tesla and they're actually like really fucking cheap.
00:45:06.880 --> 00:45:10.239
And he works on his laptop the whole way to the office.
00:45:10.960 --> 00:45:16.400
So he gets in that thing and he's like, dude, that's an hour, you know, it's thirty thirty something minutes each way.
00:45:16.639 --> 00:45:19.840
He's like, that's another hour that I get back driving.
00:45:20.000 --> 00:45:24.000
Now I really enjoy driving, so I've never fucking having a self-driving Tesla until I'm old.
00:45:24.159 --> 00:45:27.039
But that is, I think, a super legit time hack, right?
00:45:27.119 --> 00:45:36.639
That's like a lot of my friends do that in the UK who like they'll live out like way out and then work in London and will get a huge chunk of their day done on the train.
00:45:36.960 --> 00:45:37.199
Yeah.
00:45:37.440 --> 00:45:37.679
Yeah, yeah.
00:45:37.920 --> 00:45:38.079
Yeah.
00:45:38.239 --> 00:45:39.119
I mean, that's just normal.
00:45:39.440 --> 00:45:41.840
Yeah, that's what I kept thinking of as public transport.
00:45:42.159 --> 00:45:42.480
Yeah, yeah.
00:45:42.719 --> 00:45:43.280
Yeah, it's simple.
00:45:43.679 --> 00:45:46.480
I would do my homework on the train towards ASU.
00:45:46.639 --> 00:45:47.199
That's what I would do.
00:45:47.440 --> 00:45:49.519
Or not the train, but the light rail, whatever you want to call it.
00:45:49.920 --> 00:45:51.679
Gee, really quick, I was just gonna ask you more about that.
00:45:51.840 --> 00:45:53.360
Was it an integrator you called it?
00:45:53.440 --> 00:45:57.360
The opposite of like segmenting your Yeah, segmenter and an integrator.
00:45:57.599 --> 00:45:59.679
And she had a quote about that, but what does that look like?
00:45:59.760 --> 00:46:09.360
I can't like you just talk about what So with her and Kelly, they work is constantly intertwined and difficult to separate from everything else.
00:46:09.599 --> 00:46:12.159
So for integrator, that's how I interpreted it.
00:46:12.320 --> 00:46:22.320
It's someone that when they walk home, they're still thinking about where well, Brent, you would be an integrator because you're still working continuously, even though you have a business that well, because they do too.
00:46:22.480 --> 00:46:26.320
But what I found most impressive is it wasn't a source of stress.
00:46:26.480 --> 00:46:31.119
And perhaps that is because they're both working on the same thing, the same company, right?
00:46:31.280 --> 00:46:32.800
And they're both integrators.
00:46:32.960 --> 00:46:34.880
So they both view it the same way.
00:46:35.039 --> 00:46:37.519
Whereas I feel like I'm more of a segmenter.
00:46:37.679 --> 00:46:44.400
For example, people will reach out to me at odd hours of the night, and I'm trying to put my kid down, like, yo, you're gonna have to wait till tomorrow.
00:46:44.559 --> 00:46:46.559
Like, I'm not I'm not trying to do that right now.
00:46:46.880 --> 00:46:48.159
So that's a segmenter.
00:46:48.960 --> 00:46:49.199
Yeah.
00:46:49.679 --> 00:46:58.880
So I think what she was just calling out is like you need to be able to identify what kind of person you are, what kind of person your spouse is, not to say one is better than the other.
00:46:58.960 --> 00:46:59.440
It's not.
00:46:59.519 --> 00:47:00.480
It's just understanding it.
00:47:00.639 --> 00:47:03.920
Just what you are so that way that reduces friction in some arenas.
00:47:04.320 --> 00:47:05.039
Did I answer your question?
00:47:05.280 --> 00:47:05.679
Yeah, yeah.
00:47:05.840 --> 00:47:09.280
Just I've not kind of come across that as a as a term or an idea really.
00:47:09.599 --> 00:47:10.079
That makes sense.
00:47:10.320 --> 00:47:14.239
Yeah, there there there's some other things that I loved about her presentation.
00:47:14.400 --> 00:47:18.239
Like she pointed out that most geniuses have someone else that was helping them.
00:47:18.480 --> 00:47:23.760
So like we think of Marie Curie, the person who came up and understood X-rays and radiation.
00:47:23.920 --> 00:47:26.400
Well, her husband helped a lot with that.
00:47:26.880 --> 00:47:28.000
That that was one couple.
00:47:28.079 --> 00:47:33.679
I can I didn't write them most down, most of those down, but she wrote that she was it was very well cited.
00:47:33.760 --> 00:47:38.719
Uh the Matilda effect, boundary theory research, just stuff I have to I have to look into further.
00:47:39.199 --> 00:47:39.519
Let's see.
00:47:39.840 --> 00:47:43.199
Missy talked about protecting your piece, which is she's an integrator.
00:47:43.519 --> 00:47:45.440
This is a fault of hers.
00:47:45.679 --> 00:47:46.880
She doesn't know how to segment.
00:47:47.199 --> 00:47:50.480
So she comes up with frameworks that help manage her time or protect her time.
00:47:50.639 --> 00:48:03.039
So for example, uh one quadrant that she uses if when she's deciding whether or not to work with something or s for someone, does it it's a quadrant, so one and two along the x-axis is does it drain you?
00:48:03.199 --> 00:48:05.119
Oh sorry, does shit.
00:48:05.199 --> 00:48:05.840
Hold on a second.
00:48:06.239 --> 00:48:07.760
Requires you, gives you energy.
00:48:07.920 --> 00:48:08.400
Ah, yes.
00:48:08.639 --> 00:48:11.920
On one side it has, does it give you energy or does it drain you?
00:48:12.079 --> 00:48:22.239
So if it gives you energy, uh and it requires you, that was the other side, it requires you, meaning I have to be the one to deliver, then that's the Catalina fucking wine mixer.
00:48:22.400 --> 00:48:27.440
Whereas if it doesn't require me being there and it drains me, you throw that in the trash.
00:48:28.320 --> 00:48:30.079
Fucking Catalina wine mixer.
00:48:30.239 --> 00:48:31.840
Fucking Catalina wine mixer.
00:48:32.000 --> 00:48:33.119
Prestige worldwide.
00:48:33.360 --> 00:48:33.760
Let's see.
00:48:33.920 --> 00:48:39.599
Hers, she was an example of someone who's like, hmm, because Juliet presented on building a healthier marriage.
00:48:39.679 --> 00:48:46.000
And then uh Missy would tell you this because she said this, like she's working on herself from her therapist says she has a massive ego.
00:48:46.159 --> 00:48:51.679
So she would come downstairs after work, and her husband will want to have dinner with her, and she'd be like, I need time.
00:48:51.840 --> 00:48:52.480
Leave me alone.
00:48:52.639 --> 00:48:53.440
That's the vibe I got.
00:48:53.519 --> 00:48:54.320
I'm like, this is kind of weird.
00:48:54.400 --> 00:48:55.360
He's trying to help you out.
00:48:55.440 --> 00:48:56.719
Like, yo, chill out.
00:48:56.800 --> 00:49:00.400
So anyway, I thought that was very interesting because Juliet was quite the opposite.
00:49:00.639 --> 00:49:02.000
Your your spouse is your partner.
00:49:02.159 --> 00:49:04.000
Let's see, not somebody that takes away.
00:49:04.159 --> 00:49:06.159
That's kind of how that's how kind of how I interpret it.
00:49:06.559 --> 00:49:15.599
I don't really think that's a healthier one that are I was just saying, I think that's a healthier outlook, is your your partner is a partner.
00:49:15.840 --> 00:49:17.039
Your spouse is your partner.
00:49:17.360 --> 00:49:18.079
Yeah, I agree.
00:49:18.239 --> 00:49:18.480
I agree.
00:49:18.719 --> 00:49:21.840
I was gonna say the only the only thing I find, and I don't know if this is exactly the same.
00:49:21.920 --> 00:49:32.960
Like if we have like I'm kind of kind of lucky, I've not had that many like gnarly fire calls, but like if I come back from something where it's been like high output or emotion or whatever, like it's been tough.
00:49:33.199 --> 00:49:41.199
I normally need like give me like 20 minutes, 10, 20 minutes, like just to kind of get my shit together, and then I'll be good and I can like interact better.
00:49:41.360 --> 00:49:43.119
So I I can kind of see that a little bit.
00:49:43.199 --> 00:49:44.639
And that's no I am, yeah.
00:49:44.800 --> 00:49:45.519
And I I agree with that.
00:49:46.320 --> 00:49:53.039
She can't like no, I just need that like kind of maybe that's a segmentary side of things, you know.
00:49:53.119 --> 00:49:54.639
But yeah, you need to decompress.
00:49:55.760 --> 00:50:01.119
It was just the way that yeah, no, that's all Missy was saying, is just I could tell that that's something she's working on.
00:50:01.360 --> 00:50:08.159
Because she wasn't like aware that she was like needing that time because she would bring it, she would bring it to the dinner table, so to speak.
00:50:08.400 --> 00:50:08.960
Well, let's see.
00:50:09.039 --> 00:50:13.920
Yeah, Jess, uh, I'm not gonna go over his entire presentation, just the things that really resonated with me.
00:50:14.079 --> 00:50:24.000
He brought up this uh notion, because he he mentors a lot of uh other physical preparation practices, sorry, specifically physical therapists in his line of work.
00:50:24.159 --> 00:50:26.639
And he brought up this analogy of this ocean.
00:50:26.800 --> 00:50:32.159
And there's only the ocean has a current and there's wind on this on the seas at times.
00:50:32.400 --> 00:50:33.119
You are the ship.
00:50:33.199 --> 00:50:36.480
You have acts, you are running the ship on this in this ocean.
00:50:36.639 --> 00:50:38.480
And there's only a couple things you can do.
00:50:38.639 --> 00:50:44.719
You can open or close the sails, or raise and lower the sails, or you can drop the anchor or raise the anchor.
00:50:44.880 --> 00:50:47.440
Those are the only two things you have control over.
00:50:47.519 --> 00:50:56.559
So if the seas are tumultuous and and uh you're in a very hard and heavy storm, you can choose to ride through that storm, or you can choose to stay in that storm.
00:50:56.880 --> 00:51:00.239
What you should not do is let the current take you where it wills.
00:51:00.400 --> 00:51:02.159
Because then you're kind of like just reacting.
00:51:02.239 --> 00:51:09.119
You're stuck in this reactive position, and next thing you know, you're in a really shitty situation because you had you didn't take any agency or responsibility for it.
00:51:09.280 --> 00:51:12.559
So I appreciated that he he said that you're in this ocean.
00:51:12.800 --> 00:51:18.320
Sometimes you don't have control, but you do have control in the sense of you can stay where you are or you can ride it out.
00:51:18.480 --> 00:51:19.280
I I really appreciate it.
00:51:19.360 --> 00:51:22.320
It was very elegant, and I'm really understanding his presentation.
00:51:22.480 --> 00:51:28.559
Another one that I thought was prescient, or I shouldn't say prescient, but relevant, particularly with the identity, and I love his use of analogy.
00:51:28.880 --> 00:51:33.199
He brought up uh Cypher in the Matrix, the scene where he's eating the steak.
00:51:33.360 --> 00:51:34.320
Matt, do you remember this?
00:51:34.480 --> 00:51:35.599
I see Brent shaking his head.
00:51:36.159 --> 00:51:43.440
Yeah, so he's talking, he's talking with one of the agents, and he's like, I know when I put this steak in my mouth, it's not real, but my brain perceives it as real.
00:51:43.599 --> 00:51:46.800
And what he was saying was, because he lied to himself.
00:51:46.960 --> 00:51:48.800
I'm I'm kind of shortening the story.
00:51:48.960 --> 00:51:51.519
Jess lied to himself about going to the Knicks.
00:51:51.679 --> 00:51:53.519
He thought it wasn't about his ego.
00:51:53.679 --> 00:51:55.440
It ended up being about his ego.
00:51:55.599 --> 00:52:00.719
So he lied to himself and to his family, but he what he did is he ate the steak, even though it wasn't real.
00:52:00.880 --> 00:52:03.199
And he paid for that, paid the iron price, so to speak.
00:52:03.440 --> 00:52:08.880
That's what the other thing I appreciated about this uh, let's say symposium is that these people acknowledge that they're still working on it.
00:52:08.960 --> 00:52:10.239
It wasn't like they figured it out.
00:52:10.400 --> 00:52:12.159
So there's there are definitely works in progress.
00:52:12.400 --> 00:52:18.719
Kelly Strett, when he spoke on the second day, took, talked about his I3 model and his D2R2 model and his base camp model.
00:52:18.880 --> 00:52:22.480
If you guys aren't familiar with those things, those are things that he's been talking about for a while.
00:52:22.639 --> 00:52:24.559
So I would suggest seeking those out.
00:52:24.719 --> 00:52:27.119
Basecamp essentially is saying, like, how many calories do you need?
00:52:27.199 --> 00:52:28.000
How much protein do you need?
00:52:28.079 --> 00:52:29.119
How much sleep are you getting?
00:52:29.280 --> 00:52:31.039
How much steps are you getting in a day?
00:52:31.360 --> 00:52:37.840
One of the things I always thought about, I mean, I I remember sort of cottoning onto Kelly Stret, like early, early doors.
00:52:38.079 --> 00:52:42.639
He was kind of, funnily enough, he was like one of the people that made me want to go down this kind of route in the first place.
00:52:42.719 --> 00:52:44.400
So a little a little while ago now.
00:52:44.559 --> 00:52:56.480
And I always loved the ability of anyone, it probably says because I'm an idiot, to make like super complex, difficult to comprehend concepts and ideas, make them kind of bite-sized and like Yeah.
00:52:56.719 --> 00:52:58.239
Kind of like understandable.
00:52:58.400 --> 00:53:00.079
I think he I think he's really good at that.
00:53:00.320 --> 00:53:09.039
So you're talking you're speaking to something that was kind of running in the background, uh, particularly for his talk and others, uh, this notion of complexity and how to understand complexity.
00:53:09.199 --> 00:53:23.199
So one thing that he called out was working with his water pro water water polo women team was seeing a force for the trees and understanding that uh, for example, the shiver reflex that they had when they got out of the water, like which is so weird to me that this wasn't normal.
00:53:23.440 --> 00:53:28.079
Like, no, I guess in in that sport, it's totally acceptable for you to just sit there and shiver.
00:53:28.239 --> 00:53:29.679
Like, get them fucking blankets.
00:53:29.920 --> 00:53:30.880
We got them blankets.
00:53:31.119 --> 00:53:32.559
Like, like, why wouldn't you want that?
00:53:32.639 --> 00:53:36.960
Like, you're gonna facilitate a better state of recovery and then hot water, why not?
00:53:37.199 --> 00:53:45.599
So, like, and they actually had a really, really good season, which to me it seems like common sense, but I guess again, it goes back to the pattern recognition.
00:53:45.679 --> 00:53:50.639
He's really good at that, like seeing everything and how it fits, and like you said, making it easier to understand.
00:53:50.800 --> 00:53:54.719
And I think Stu talked about that at the end, which we'll get to in a moment.
00:53:54.880 --> 00:53:55.840
So let's see, what else?
00:53:56.000 --> 00:53:58.079
Brett Bartholomew spoke, obviously.
00:53:58.159 --> 00:53:59.280
Uh, he spoke about a lot.
00:53:59.440 --> 00:54:02.800
He spoke about essentially understanding the gray, the nuance.
00:54:02.880 --> 00:54:05.920
And I think that's kind of what spurred this this uh seminar to begin with.
00:54:06.480 --> 00:54:09.119
Do you see understanding the gray, as in like the color gray?
00:54:09.440 --> 00:54:10.159
Understanding the gray.
00:54:10.320 --> 00:54:10.480
Yeah.
00:54:10.639 --> 00:54:12.719
Yeah, uh well, nuance specifically.
00:54:13.440 --> 00:54:35.760
So so for example, he taught he brought up an analogy, which I don't I don't have the name of the Alice in front of me, but there was a neurosurgeon who encountered a situation that was going to damage a patient irreparably, unless so she went and found this atlas of the neural network that she had to work with that helped her solve this problem.
00:54:35.920 --> 00:54:46.239
Well, it turns out that atlas was derived from Jewish people that were being experimented on, hopefully not vivisected, but experimented on during the World War II and Holocaust.
00:54:46.400 --> 00:54:48.079
So there was an ethical dilemma there.
00:54:48.320 --> 00:54:56.480
So essentially his presentation was about how to understand how to use something, not necessarily so overt or concrete as that, but some darker aspects.
00:54:56.639 --> 00:55:04.880
Yeah, some darker aspects of yourself for your own betterment later, because that in a in an in that in and of itself is not necessarily bad or good.
00:55:05.039 --> 00:55:07.280
It just is, because that's kind of the world that we live in.
00:55:07.360 --> 00:55:10.719
We don't live in a fair world of black and white, good and evil.
00:55:10.960 --> 00:55:17.760
So we should take our account of ourselves accordingly to do that as well, to live in the real world, so to speak, to acknowledge reality.
00:55:17.920 --> 00:55:19.119
So that's what his talk was about.
00:55:19.280 --> 00:55:29.360
What I present what I appreciated about his presentation was his ability to move around the space from a proxemic standpoint, uh, as far as like presence, like working the whole room.
00:55:29.440 --> 00:55:31.199
He wasn't afraid to walk away from the screen.
00:55:31.280 --> 00:55:32.400
It was very natural for him.
00:55:32.719 --> 00:55:41.920
Musicality of his speech, so he knew when to get loud and when to get quiet, his ability to present, which in my opinion, like that should be something that he should be awesome at.
00:55:42.000 --> 00:55:43.360
And he he did a great job of that.
00:55:43.519 --> 00:55:44.960
Humor as well, use of humor.
00:55:45.199 --> 00:55:45.599
Let's see.
00:55:45.760 --> 00:55:47.599
Matt, I talked about him with the caregiving.
00:55:47.679 --> 00:55:54.000
And then James, I talked about him with his identity loss with basketball, being a high-level CrossFit coach and CrossFit owner.
00:55:54.159 --> 00:55:58.480
Stu McMillan talked about complexity, as I said earlier, and uh understanding complexity.
00:55:58.559 --> 00:56:09.039
So there's some things that he came up with frameworks and heuristics to help make sense of the madness that is chaos, that is life, how to work with athletes and how to work with human beings.
00:56:09.199 --> 00:56:16.719
I've got a lot written down here that I'm not gonna cover everything over, but let me see if I wrote down authors that we should.
00:56:17.440 --> 00:56:19.280
We can always do a part two of this if that's bad.
00:56:19.679 --> 00:56:19.920
You know what?
00:56:20.159 --> 00:56:26.000
I'm thinking, yeah, well, what I would love is like actually have him or someone on to talk about complexity.
00:56:26.159 --> 00:56:28.639
Because this is this is uh new for me.
00:56:28.719 --> 00:56:32.000
But I'm trying to think of what we would want to talk about.
00:56:32.400 --> 00:56:37.840
All right, well, I'll say this for one thing, one of those heuristics parts matter, patterns more, purpose most.
00:56:38.079 --> 00:56:53.280
So he was speaking in the context of running, parts being the shapes that we see, you and I, when we're watching someone running, but the patterns, their ability to move in and out of those shapes, but purpose matters more in that, like what is the ultimate expression of that that matters most?
00:56:53.440 --> 00:56:57.119
So for example, so you know, I don't want to go too deep into it.
00:56:57.280 --> 00:56:59.039
The other thing is focus on a superpower.
00:56:59.119 --> 00:57:08.000
So he was working with an Olympic level sprinter for the 2012 Olympic Olympics, and uh he was the fastest accelerator from zero to sixty in the world at the time, but he would fall off.
00:57:08.079 --> 00:57:12.480
He had a he had a sharp tail after 60 meters, and he would just get left in the dust.
00:57:12.800 --> 00:57:19.840
So they at that time, for where him and Dan Paf their heads were at, were well, we got to focus on your late stage top end speed.
00:57:20.000 --> 00:57:20.880
Well, that was a trap.
00:57:21.039 --> 00:57:32.480
He actually ended up getting too slow, and then later on worked with Andrea Gas under the grass, and uh how he's a very light, whippy runner, and therefore focused way more on that and therefore had a great performance.
00:57:32.719 --> 00:57:40.000
So understand what your superpower is, maximize that instead of trying to create a more well-rounded athlete, which is over underselling it.
00:57:40.639 --> 00:57:42.639
There's a whole episode just in that, I think.
00:57:42.960 --> 00:57:44.239
Yeah, and you know what, man?
00:57:44.320 --> 00:57:44.719
It's funny.
00:57:44.800 --> 00:57:49.039
I'm I'm seeing all these heuristics, and I am not seeing a single Knevin.
00:57:49.280 --> 00:57:51.440
Knevin wrote on complexity.
00:57:51.599 --> 00:57:52.320
There's an author.
00:57:52.400 --> 00:57:58.320
I am gonna Lord Morton also, I'm gonna have to look up the authors that he was referencing.
00:57:58.559 --> 00:58:00.559
I feel bad because I don't he referenced this.
00:58:00.719 --> 00:58:01.519
Oh, you know what I did?
00:58:01.599 --> 00:58:02.320
I took photos.
00:58:02.480 --> 00:58:03.119
That's what I did.
00:58:03.199 --> 00:58:04.719
I took photos of the book recommendations.
00:58:04.800 --> 00:58:06.159
I wrote I should have written them down.
00:58:06.320 --> 00:58:08.079
So we'll talk about that on the next one.
00:58:08.320 --> 00:58:14.000
Yeah, I I feel like a whole like we could easily do a whole episode on complexity just in terms of what that means.
00:58:14.719 --> 00:58:20.320
Well, yeah, what that means in like our world and in human performance and training, and yeah, there's tons to upload.
00:58:20.559 --> 00:58:26.079
Well, systems of yeah, the system that is the human body interacting with the system that is the world.
00:58:26.239 --> 00:58:37.679
I think people don't realize because we're by nature of our psyche and the way we have to operate, we do not realize how much noise there is, and we tend to want to want to oversimplify.
00:58:37.840 --> 00:58:38.320
Yeah.
00:58:38.559 --> 00:58:45.840
So like I wish I had that kind of influence in the sense of if I wanted to be an Olympic sprinter, like I should just do X, Y, and Z, and it just doesn't work like that.
00:58:46.000 --> 00:58:46.639
So yeah.
00:58:46.800 --> 00:58:47.039
All right.
00:58:47.360 --> 00:58:48.320
Well, what are your thoughts, man?
00:58:48.400 --> 00:58:52.400
I I'll say this to sum everything up, I think the conference was definitely worth my time.
00:58:52.559 --> 00:59:03.679
I think if you're uh like looking at the finish line, so to speak, and your military first responder career, I think something like that would it would benefit you because it's not talking about things that are hyper-specific.
00:59:03.840 --> 00:59:07.840
It's talking about real-world things that we all experience, but no one's really talking about it.
00:59:08.000 --> 00:59:11.920
You kind of have to stumble like in our field, we're in the field of self-improvement.
00:59:12.000 --> 00:59:14.800
So like I think it's natural to figure figure stuff out.
00:59:14.960 --> 00:59:24.559
But if it's not natural for you, if your environment's not conducive to that, like i you're not a coach, this could be a great place for you to go and kind of like lay some groundwork down, some foundational work.
00:59:24.800 --> 00:59:27.760
Yeah, and I I think it's also a funny world that we're in.
00:59:27.920 --> 00:59:39.119
And that because you're a coach and you're in this space or you're you take training seriously, which is why you're probably listening to this, both you and the people around you expect to have the you to have this stuff like buttoned up and be all over it.
00:59:39.280 --> 00:59:39.679
Yeah.
00:59:40.639 --> 00:59:42.400
And like that's not the case.
00:59:42.719 --> 00:59:45.440
But I don't think for for very few people is is that the case.
00:59:45.679 --> 00:59:46.480
Yeah, right.
00:59:47.360 --> 00:59:50.320
Yeah, and that's that's kind of uh an important distinction to make.
00:59:50.480 --> 00:59:53.360
And it's not a case of like do as I say, not as I do.
00:59:53.519 --> 00:59:55.039
It's there's kind of more to it than that.
00:59:55.199 --> 00:59:56.960
The stresses is a stress, it's very real.
00:59:57.519 --> 01:00:00.719
And that's why I brought up the uh that's why I brought up the authentic piece.
01:00:00.880 --> 01:00:07.360
Like these people were very they very successful, but also very transparent and authentic about what they were working through through.
01:00:07.599 --> 01:00:08.400
Yeah, yeah.
01:00:08.639 --> 01:00:29.039
Well, maybe that's uh like a decent way to wrap or to to kind of end out this episode is maybe have you got have you got say three, four, five things, if if someone's like listening to this thinking, okay, maybe there's room for improvement in like how I'm managing my life and what's going on, family and social support network and stuff like that.
01:00:29.280 --> 01:00:35.039
Like, have have you got have you got kind of a yeah, like we talked about before, like a roadmap or a where to people go?
01:00:35.599 --> 01:00:50.719
One one thing I heard multiple times from two different presenters was this notion of auditing, auditing yourself very earnestly and honestly, like sit there for 90 minutes in silence and like write with a notebook and like write down what you want to work on, where you're at, career-wise, social-wise, family-wise.
01:00:50.880 --> 01:01:02.559
So that way you know where to move to and and uh what you need to do to to to to to to get over the hump, which sounds so cliche, but you're not gonna know where you need to go if you don't know where you started.
01:01:02.719 --> 01:01:03.840
So Jen brought that up.
01:01:03.920 --> 01:01:13.280
She brought up that, you know, like she brought up this analogy from Stargate, but you're talking about how many known points you need to have in order to figure out the destination.
01:01:13.440 --> 01:01:27.760
And I'm, you know, trying to not use too much of the verbiage that was used during that lecture or during the movie, but before, or rather, just as important, if not more than, if you know the destination, you need to know where you started, where are you starting from?
01:01:27.920 --> 01:01:28.960
So just like with the GPS.
01:01:30.000 --> 01:01:30.400
Yeah, yeah.
01:01:30.480 --> 01:01:34.800
Your GPS nav, like, yeah, you can plug in, let me, where's the nearest Costco?
01:01:34.880 --> 01:01:37.760
But inevitably you're gonna start from somewhere.
01:01:37.920 --> 01:01:39.679
It's gonna plug in where you're at.
01:01:39.840 --> 01:01:43.440
So that that's that was something that she understands now.
01:01:43.599 --> 01:01:52.639
She didn't understand here's the other thing that kind of like I'm 40 now, and this is something that I was fascinated with, and I know I wasn't the only person thinking this.
01:01:52.800 --> 01:01:55.440
I was like, man, like this is all great stuff.
01:01:55.599 --> 01:01:56.960
This is where I'm at right now.
01:01:57.199 --> 01:02:00.000
Would I have listened to this when I was 25?
01:02:00.079 --> 01:02:02.559
And would I, here's the other fucking the dark side of it.
01:02:02.719 --> 01:02:03.440
Can you have both?
01:02:03.599 --> 01:02:08.320
Can you tell someone in their younger age, like, hey, well, here's what I would want, man, for my son.
01:02:08.480 --> 01:02:13.039
I I would want, and I don't know about you, your kids, but I would want him to know these lessons now.
01:02:13.199 --> 01:02:17.679
So no matter what happens in 20 to 30 years, at least he's not dealing with mental baggage.
01:02:17.840 --> 01:02:20.400
This, this, this obsession with external validation.
01:02:20.639 --> 01:02:21.760
He doesn't need it.
01:02:21.920 --> 01:02:24.159
If he has it, we all need it.
01:02:24.400 --> 01:02:25.039
We all do.
01:02:25.199 --> 01:02:26.400
It's just how much.
01:02:26.559 --> 01:02:31.599
If it becomes so important to your identity, then when that's taken away, you're gonna be with me, with the military.
01:02:31.760 --> 01:02:32.559
It's not uncommon.
01:02:32.639 --> 01:02:42.079
Like your whole identity is wrapped around I'm I'm a marine, or for her, I'm a hammer thrower, or I'm a fitness model, or I'm an American gladiator.
01:02:42.239 --> 01:02:44.559
When that's taken away from you, like who are you after?
01:02:44.719 --> 01:02:47.280
And for me, that's that's the most important thing.
01:02:47.440 --> 01:02:52.719
Like, I don't want my son to be in this position where he's fucking shattered and has an existential crisis.
01:02:52.880 --> 01:02:57.920
It's not fun to lose, but it should be you should be healthy about it.
01:02:58.000 --> 01:02:59.360
You shouldn't fucking collapse.
01:02:59.519 --> 01:03:00.559
That's where I want him to be.
01:03:00.639 --> 01:03:02.719
When he loses, he knows how to move forward.
01:03:02.800 --> 01:03:05.760
And he doesn't move forward out of obligation for more external validation.
01:03:05.840 --> 01:03:10.159
No, he moves forward because he has the finish line in mind in a healthy way, strategic way.
01:03:10.320 --> 01:03:12.239
So I think we'll leave it there, huh?
01:03:12.639 --> 01:03:13.199
Sounds good.
01:03:13.360 --> 01:03:13.679
All right.
01:03:13.840 --> 01:03:20.079
Well, listeners, that was a non-superficial no BS conference with Brad Bartholomew and Art of Coaching, worth the time.
01:03:20.239 --> 01:03:22.239
Take a look at it when it comes around next year, hopefully.
01:03:22.320 --> 01:03:25.519
It was it was also apparently the first time they used the complex that he had built.
01:03:25.599 --> 01:03:26.400
So that was kind of cool.
01:03:26.559 --> 01:03:26.719
Okay.
01:03:26.800 --> 01:03:27.760
And you said Arizona.
01:03:28.000 --> 01:03:29.039
Arizona, yes.
01:03:29.199 --> 01:03:30.000
Uh, let's see.
01:03:30.079 --> 01:03:31.599
Uh, you have any final words, man?
01:03:32.159 --> 01:03:32.719
No, no.
01:03:32.960 --> 01:03:33.840
Thanks for sharing.
01:03:33.920 --> 01:03:34.400
That was class.
01:03:34.639 --> 01:03:35.199
Yeah, sure.
01:03:35.360 --> 01:03:37.840
Authenticity, identity, and complexity.
01:03:38.000 --> 01:03:39.199
Those are the things that we focused on.
01:03:39.280 --> 01:03:40.719
That's what I want you guys thinking about this week.
01:03:40.880 --> 01:03:41.679
You have a great one.
01:03:41.840 --> 01:03:42.559
Die living.
01:03:42.719 --> 01:03:43.679
All right, cool.