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I you know after 20 years in this industry, but I have to admit that I've never without completely confident in the crowd without a very clear job or position.
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So when I was in the crowd, I'm a I'm a for example, I'm a guest in the event, sometimes I still feel like I'm not totally comfortable.
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Um and I so that's why I I taught myself that any event I I receive uh the invitation, I need to know my purpose to get into the event.
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So with that purpose, it's like um the the reason for me uh to be myself and I will feel more confident in in the the the space with all the people that most of them I didn't know who they are.
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Yeah?
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So like for example, if you just receive uh the invitation to go to the event just because um just to be polite, you will feel very um um shaking and not comfortable and don't know what to do.
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Um and normally like for your instincts, you you you don't want to talk to stranger and then you just stay in the corner.
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So that's why you need to know the your purpose.
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Hi, welcome everybody to Sean's Learning Adventure.
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I have a really awesome guest with me today.
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Can you tell people who you are and what you do?
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Hello everyone, my name is Hong Wan.
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Uh I'm a TV host, event host, actually, and sometimes uh I'm an actress in a movie.
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That's really cool.
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You have so many cool things that you do.
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Now, you've worked as a TV host, actress, and MC.
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What's the biggest lesson you've learned in your career?
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Wow.
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Actually, I I learned so many lessons uh from my experiences uh through how many years in my career.
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But I think the biggest lesson is understanding who you are.
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I love it.
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I think understanding yourself is the most important thing for me because I was a very introvert and uh I was a very introverted girl and I was very shy anytime I stand on the stage or in front of um everyone else.
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Um really.
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But I don't know, somehow I I I had a dream to be to become the the MC and the TV host.
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One day when I was 12 years old, I watched the TV and I feel um so mesmerized because of the the presenter and the program on the TV, and I wish that one day I can become the TV host like that.
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And that's passion, I think that passion drives me um forward, and I just want to become one so much that I overcome so many obstacles and overcome all the um how to say the the weaknesses of myself because I was very shy and introverted.
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Uh so I I have to learn and I have to experience more to overcome all my shyness.
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And I think understanding myself, not like you have to change yourself totally to just adjust to the situation, but you know how to use your skill um to be more confident.
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Like I don't have to be um someone else.
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Uh I st I I can be myself, but with more skills and more confidence.
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Yeah.
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That's awesome.
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And that's the thing, is like to be a better version of yourself, you know.
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We are all awesome people, but if you can find a way to be better at whatever you love, if you want to be a public speaker, learning ways to speak to people, if you want to learn music, learning ways to do that.
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But I want to ask you, because as an MC, an actor, and so many things, good communications, I'm sure, is very important for you.
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What's one simple tip that can help people become better communicators?
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Well, I think if just to choose one simple tip, I think is practice.
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You just have to be um very active to practice.
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First of all, you should attend a class, right?
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A course, anything that uh that uh if you are um a person who is not confident like me before in the past, I will very shy.
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So that's why I have to attend a class or a course about MC, about communication, to uh learn many, many skills for myself.
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Uh after learning the skills, I take time and I challenge myself to talk more in front of the uh of everyone and I practice a lot.
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And of course, through practice you will see that you have a lot of lot of uh um weaknesses and mistakes, and you learn from your mistakes, and then you you improve yourself through all the experiences.
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So I'm now I'm the the the uh the coach, the mentor for public speaking uh students, uh classes, but I always tell people that uh what you learn from school or learn from your class is not enough.
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You have to practice a lot.
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Like to be like people always say like practice makes perfect.
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So you have to practice as much uh as um like you have to practice a lot, a lot, a lot.
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And anytime you you fell down, you get up and you learn from your mistakes.
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You never like don't don't don't be so scared of making mistakes and don't be so um disappointed about yourself because through all the failure you become a better person, I think.
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100%.
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I think that we um many people are scared of failing.
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We're scared of looking bad, we're scared of making embarrassing ourselves.
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But the reality is the only way to get better is practice.
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If you get out and you do things again and again and again, eventually you'll improve.
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But you have to be willing to let go of your fear and understand that it's okay.
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It's okay to make mistakes.
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I think it's also really important to have a supportive group of people around you, whether that is a class, whether that is a community of people that will say, Hey, you know what?
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You're doing a great job.
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Keep going, keep going.
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I want to ask you this though, too, because many people aren't confident speaking in front of others.
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You said you were a bit of an introvert.
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Were you always confident, or did you have to learn it?
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Yeah, I have to learn it a lot.
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Like, I was not like naturally confident person.
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Um so I guess I guess most of us have something that we are not confident in our life.
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We are not like not everyone like 100% confident about everything.
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So it it makes us confident.
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I think what makes us more confident is knowing that everyone has something that they are not confident about.
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So everyone is the same, right?
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You know my wife, and it's like we're like yin and yang.
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Like, you know, I'm like yin and she's like yang, because for me, this talking to strangers, I do four podcasts a day, every day, from 8 p.m.
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till midnight.
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I have so many conversations.
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So it I can talk to anyone, and it's no problem.
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It's easy, it's fun for me.
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But for V, talking like this is not easy.
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And she's like, I have to talk to a person I don't know.
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I have to talk and like do public speaking.
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V doesn't like public speaking.
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And yes, if she gets on stage and sings a song, no problem.
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Completely confident.
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If I have to get on stage and sing a song, every time my wife asks me to go on stage and sing with her, my hands are shaking.
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I'm like, oh my goodness.
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I I it feels so intimidated.
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And you're right, like everyone has different levels of confidence.
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But the only way you get better is by doing it again and again and again.
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Yes, and I, and one more thing, you have to please you have to fire find a purpose to do it.
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Yes.
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Like sometimes you tell people to get on a stage and do something and to be to do public speaking.
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But if you don't give yourself or give your friends a a reason, a good reason and a purpose to do that, they they will feel like um they don't know what they are doing here, they don't know who they are here, for what?
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Like actually I I I have um totally understand, I I totally understand um mid-TV because I I'm very interested too.
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So when I'm when I'm on the stage, I'm like maybe not 100-200% confident about myself, but when I get out of the stage and if I'm in the crowd, just being a guest.
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I, you know, after 20 years in this industry, but I have to admit that I've never felt completely confident in the crowd without a very clear job or position.
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So when I was in the crowd, I'm a I'm a for example, I'm a guest in the events, sometimes I still feel like I'm not totally comfortable.
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Um and I so that's why I I taught myself that any event I I receive uh the invitation, I need to know my purpose to get into the event.
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So with that purpose, it's like um the the reason for me uh to be myself.
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And I will feel more confident in in the the the space with all the people that most of them I didn't know who they are.
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Yeah?
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So like for example, if you just receive uh the invitation to go to the event just because um just to be polite, you will feel very um um shaking and not comfortable and don't know what to do.
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Um and normally like for your instincts, you you you don't want to talk to stranger and then you just stay in the corner.
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So that's why you need to know the your purpose.
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And I I think even it's not not in c communication, but also in your life.
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Like I read a book named Ikigai.
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Ashley is right here.
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Okay, ikigai.
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Yeah, ikigai.
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That's the method from the the Japanese Ikai.
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Yeah so they they they they talk to you to find your purpose in your life and that makes you like keep moving forward.
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Yeah.
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So I think a part of communication is knowing that what is your purpose to communicate.
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So so why when you get that key, you will feel more confident.
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I love it.
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I do all of my podcasts.
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I have lots of podcasts, I do lots of conversations.
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I work so hard because my why, my iky guy, is to m make this world a better place for my daughter.
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And I feel like every conversation we have, every time that we can help someone, if I'm kind to a person, then maybe they're kind to another person who's kind to other people.
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And if I teach people to be better, to try harder, then I think that that's something for me.
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But I also think that I want people to find joy.
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And those are the things that I I go towards because I think that if we can find that.
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But you're right.
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If you don't know why you're doing something, it makes it really hard.
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And there's one thing that's interesting too, because in any conversation, you're trying to achieve something, you know, whether it be um, let's imagine business English is really easy to see this.
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Like because if I'm talking to someone from another company, that conversation has a goal.
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Maybe if it's sales, maybe it's relationship building.
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And everything that you're doing, you have to figure out what is your why for that.
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And you know, if you want to be more confident on stage, why do you want to be more confident on stage?
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But it's so interesting too because what you talked about a little bit, you you said that like sometimes when you go to an event, you're shy and you you're you're a little uncertain.
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But I want to ask you, how do you get ready before going on TV or before speaking in front of a big audience?
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Because you speak in front of big audiences.
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I've seen you at some very big shows.
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How do you get ready?
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Uh, actually, I just get ready like all the women did.
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Like uh, of course, uh to be confident, uh actually you have to be very well prepared before you get on the stage.
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Um, first of all, is your uh outlook, right?
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But the beauty doesn't mean that you have to be very uh luxurious or very splendid in the event, but you just need to be uh compatible with what you are doing.
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Like, you know, for for my position as an MC on the stage, uh sometimes for for children's party I will wear something different from um the CEO party, right?
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So the the beauty of an MC or just say in general for an artist, uh for the actress in the movie, the beauty is depend on the character and the events.
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What what is the event, what is the event or the movie required from you?
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Then you try to be the most uh compatible that you can to um to be the spirit of the events.
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Like for me, like if I go to the charity events and be the MC there, I just need the very normal white shirt.
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I don't need to wear even in gal that's very beautiful.
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I don't need that.
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And and in that case, the most beautiful is the symbol for the charity events, right?
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So I always pay attention on the spirit of the event that I'm I'm in.
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Um and secondly, I think um to be best performed in the events, I need to learn more about the knowledge that required from that field, from that industry.
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Sometimes I do tech events, which is I think is what I was very bad at.
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Like I'm very low tech, but sometimes I do det technology events, so I need to try to learn as fast as possible to understand all everything I will say in the script.
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Because you need to understand the script, otherwise you just the reading machine, right?
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So I try to be very knowledgeable and understand everything that I would say to people, to the audience before I say it.
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That's awesome because you know when you are informed on a topic, when you're informed on something, it allows you to have that confidence.
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Maybe you're not an expert on it, but you can at least uh operate from a place or or speak from a place where you have information that you can share and educate people.
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I try to r remember that when I speak with anyone, one of the things that I try to do is educate people is educate them on ideas, educate them on concepts.
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But you know, you you have this really beautiful life.
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And I I said earlier that my why is my daughter, Eilani.
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She's one of the big motivating things for me.
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But I want to ask you, how has becoming a mother changed the way you see life and success?
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Oh, really?
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Being a mom, really the greatest experience in my life.
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I has shan't become a very emotional girl to be a very calm woman.
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And it's really different.
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Actually, I feel like my son, Max, my son, like my teacher.
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He talks me a lot, uh, especially in my um mindset and behavior.
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Because before having him, um very impulsive, I I think.
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Like if I'm sad or angry or disagree with something, I will show my emotions right away and I try to take action right away.
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Which I think not very good because when you are hard tempered, you will not wise enough to make a good decision.
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But now when I have a baby, like I know that I'm very I have to be very um responsible for everything I do because anything I do will affect on my little baby.
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So I try to be very calm and I try to be very mindful in everything I do.
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Uh to be a happy mom, to be because I think normally they they say happy wife, happy life, uh.
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But for me I say happy mom, happy baby, happy mommy, happy baby.
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So I I I I learn to be very mindful in everything I do.
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And I try to be calm to be his um his supporter.
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Because because when everything happens in life and he sees me calm and confident, he can learn from that.
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I love that.
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Right?
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And and that's one of the things because you know, it can be hard to balance work and family.
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What advice would you give to parents who are trying to do both?
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Balance being a mom or dad and then also being a busy professional?
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I actually for me uh it's it's not easy to be balanced between work and and parenting.
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Um you cannot require yourself to balance the way that 50-50.
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It's I think it's it's very hard to be 50-50.
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It's sometime, sometimes, some period of time.
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Like you have to sacrifice uh your work to take care of your baby, actually f it's especially when you are a mom.
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Like I think I have to uh be I was off work for two years to take care of Max.
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And I never feel regret about that, um, because I already know what it takes to be a mom.
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Because I decided to to burn him, right?
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So I I feel very happy to to uh step back um just in work to be with my baby for the very uh important first year, two f two years of his life.
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Um so I think sometimes you have to uh share uh your attention and your time uh for your family more than your work.
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Maybe 70, 30, sometimes 90, 10, sometimes 100% from your family.
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But what makes you feel balanced, once again get back to the purpose.
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I think in life, I think I learned that in life, in everything I do, I find a purpose for that.
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When you find a purpose and you you accept what it takes, you will have enough of strength to get through everything else.
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Maybe in the journey you feel sad or you'll feel for more fear of missing out when you see your friends get going up.
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Up another level in their career, and you will feel oh, if I keep walking, I can have that achievement.
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But but you have to get back to why you begin, like why you choose to be a mom, and then you think, okay, it's okay, I have my purpose.
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I want to be the best mom.
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I want to be always present for my son, and I want him to be um very happy and confident and developed both in physically and mentally.
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So anytime I I have the purpose and I know what it takes to be a mom, I don't feel fear of missing out anymore.
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So I think the the balance, the key of balancing is the purpose.
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You do it and not losing yourself or not losing your dream when you're doing another job as a mom, as a dad, or taking care of your family.
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Like it's just a bit little bit late.
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You know that you will take two years to take care of your family, but don't lose yourself uh on the journey.
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Don't lose your dream.
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You know that after two years, you have some plan to get back, and even better, I think, with the with the experience and with the change, uh you will be more mature.
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And I think it is it helps.
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It's not like hold you back, but it helps you a lot to be a very um very mature person to achieve some other success in your life.
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I love that.
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And I I uh completely agree.
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I think that if we can find that that anchor and remember that we can always come back, we can always find a new way, you know.
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But you're right, sometimes it's not 50-50.
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Sometimes you have to go 70-30.
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And the reality is, is it's just about finding that balance that works for you, you know?
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And I think that that's very deep wisdom.
00:24:04.000 --> 00:24:07.680
But like you've met many interesting people.
00:24:07.920 --> 00:24:11.599
Is there one person or conversation that changed your life?
00:24:12.000 --> 00:24:32.640
Um I'm very grateful because I have met so many good people, many lessons, but just to choose one lesson, I think that from the Zen Master Tit M Nim, you know?
00:24:33.200 --> 00:24:35.680
The the Zen Master M Nim.
00:24:36.079 --> 00:24:40.799
Uh my son my son met him every year.
00:24:41.519 --> 00:24:42.079
Oh wow.
00:24:42.400 --> 00:24:47.440
And yeah, I I talked to him only once every year.
00:24:47.599 --> 00:24:49.200
Only once every year.
00:24:49.519 --> 00:24:58.720
And I remember the the time after my divorce was the hardest time, the toughest time of my life.
00:24:59.039 --> 00:25:04.799
That time I I I took all the responsibility for myself.
00:25:05.599 --> 00:25:14.079
I think I was not doing my best to to to keep the happy family for Max.
00:25:15.599 --> 00:25:17.920
But actually I already try my best.
00:25:18.079 --> 00:25:18.799
I know that.
00:25:18.960 --> 00:25:31.039
But did you there's something uh in myself uh feel like uh I'm not good enough and feel guilty, a little bit guilty.
00:25:31.759 --> 00:25:45.119
Uh you know that you are doing your best, but you still feel guilty because I think uh because maybe you think you are not powerful enough to to control everything happening in your life.
00:25:45.759 --> 00:25:51.599
And that's how I think if I can control everything better, maybe my son can have better condition.
00:25:52.240 --> 00:25:57.279
Um and I try to protect him as much as I can.
00:25:57.440 --> 00:26:03.119
I try to give him love and everything I can, love, time, attention and everything I can for him.
00:26:03.279 --> 00:26:06.960
But I'm still in the the stage that I have anxiety.
00:26:07.200 --> 00:26:10.880
I don't know why, like so much pressure.
00:26:11.359 --> 00:26:22.000
And then Tai Tayman Nim uh told me that would you want to change anything in your childhood?
00:26:22.960 --> 00:26:40.079
I think carefully and I told him, no, I didn't want to change anything because what I've been through make me become who I am today, and I'm very grateful and I don't want to change anything.
00:26:40.480 --> 00:26:47.599
And he told me, so why you want to change and control everything for your son?
00:26:48.400 --> 00:26:49.440
Let him be.
00:26:50.400 --> 00:26:54.559
Let him go through all the lesson he has to learn.
00:26:55.759 --> 00:27:00.480
Maybe he already chose you to be his mom before he comes to this life.
00:27:02.000 --> 00:27:17.920
And he chose this experience, he chose this lesson, and if you do it for him, you protect him, you try to do things for him, you take away his chance to be better, to be stronger, to be a real man.
00:27:18.480 --> 00:27:22.240
And this really opened my eyes and my mind.
00:27:22.480 --> 00:27:23.680
I think yes.
00:27:23.920 --> 00:27:38.799
Like if my parents do everything for me, if I don't try to be independent and overcome all the obstacles in my life, how can I be a very independent woman like what I a who I am now?
00:27:39.039 --> 00:28:02.000
And I think yeah, because I have so much love for my son, so I want to protect him all the time, but if I don't let him ping by his brand, walk by his own feet and fly by his own wings, I I that time I I I will be a very guilty mom, I think.
00:28:02.640 --> 00:28:03.039
Right?
00:28:03.279 --> 00:28:03.519
Yeah.
00:28:03.839 --> 00:28:13.920
And I I think that one of the things that is it's easy to try to do everything for our children and to protect them too much.
00:28:14.079 --> 00:28:20.559
But I do know that sometimes if we protect them too much, they won't have that struggle that's needed to grow.
00:28:20.799 --> 00:28:23.359
And in life, struggle is actually important.
00:28:23.519 --> 00:28:31.039
You want to get stronger, you have to go to the gym, and you have to lift weights, and it is a struggle to do that.
00:28:31.279 --> 00:28:33.759
But if you don't have that, there's no growth.
00:28:33.920 --> 00:28:46.079
Growth only happens on the other side of challenge, you know, and I think that one of the things that I have to remind myself with my daughter is let her fight her battles.
00:28:46.240 --> 00:29:02.240
You know, last year Eilani was at school and um she tried out for a role, and uh her teacher said she if you looked at Eilani, Eilani wanted to be in the school play, and the teacher looked at her and she's like, You're not Vietnamese enough for this.
00:29:02.319 --> 00:29:05.599
And Eilani's like, Whoa! They said it.
00:29:05.680 --> 00:29:12.640
And V and I, V and I were just like, okay, like, and I was like, My wife is wiser than me.
00:29:12.799 --> 00:29:14.640
I want to go fight all my daughters' battles.
00:29:14.720 --> 00:29:20.240
I wanted to go talk to that teacher and say, Well, you know, let her let her try out, let her try, let her audition.
00:29:20.640 --> 00:29:27.039
But my wife said, let her, let her go and and and fight her battles.
00:29:27.279 --> 00:29:31.440
And so my wife talked to her and she's like, you know, you are a strong girl.
00:29:31.519 --> 00:29:36.319
You can still get out there and you can still try out for this, even in whatever your teacher said.
00:29:36.720 --> 00:29:41.680
And so Eilani said, because I was like, let's not do it, let's not go for that role.
00:29:41.759 --> 00:29:42.640
I'm angry.
00:29:42.799 --> 00:29:45.279
And V's like, if you want to try, try.
00:29:45.440 --> 00:29:48.960
But understand that there are some people that just are not easy.
00:29:49.119 --> 00:29:54.000
But don't let your teacher stop you from doing something because of her opinion.
00:29:54.240 --> 00:29:56.400
And then Eilani said, I'm gonna keep on trying.
00:29:56.480 --> 00:30:00.640
And she went out, she got a different role, but she still was in the school play.
00:30:00.880 --> 00:30:02.640
And it was a great lesson.
00:30:02.799 --> 00:30:15.759
I wanted to protect her, I didn't want her to be judged, but at the same time, she went out there and she shone and she tried out and did something, and it was beautiful, and it's not something I can protect her from.
00:30:16.000 --> 00:30:19.279
It's not something we can't protect our kids from everything, you know.
00:30:19.440 --> 00:30:21.839
We can teach them, we can teach them skills.
00:30:21.920 --> 00:30:44.880
You know, Eilani, one of the things that we've had her doing for a long time is that Eilani goes to learn uh Thai boxing, Muay Thai, because when she was a little girl, oh yeah, when Eilani was like six, she was at school and they went on a field trip, and some weird man started following her and started following the bus and was like trying to to get her by herself.
00:30:44.960 --> 00:30:55.119
And V and I heard about this, and we were like, luckily the teacher protected her, and we were like there, we were there, but we it was like two seconds, we were just like not cool.
00:30:55.279 --> 00:30:59.839
And so V and I said after that, our daughter study martial arts 100%.
00:31:00.400 --> 00:31:05.200
And so she's been studying Muay Thai since five years now.
00:31:05.519 --> 00:31:09.200
Uh she's been doing Muay Thai, and she has a strong little punch.
00:31:10.160 --> 00:31:20.880
But I recognized that I can't fight her battles forever, I can't protect her forever, and we have to let and that was one of the things that I wanted her to to learn.
00:31:21.200 --> 00:31:27.039
But what I want to ask you, what's one lesson you hope your son will always remember?
00:31:27.759 --> 00:31:29.359
Oh well.
00:31:34.480 --> 00:31:44.079
I think this the lesson that I want my son to learn is from his grandpa from my dad.
00:31:44.400 --> 00:31:45.359
From my dad.
00:31:45.519 --> 00:31:53.039
My my family was bankrupt when I was 19 years old.
00:31:53.519 --> 00:31:54.079
Oh wow.
00:31:54.319 --> 00:32:02.400
About that time I feel because I'm the firstborn, I'm the first daughter, I'm the oldest in my family.
00:32:02.480 --> 00:32:08.400
I have two siblings and that time I feel about 20, 20 years old.
00:32:08.640 --> 00:32:21.279
That time I feel like when my parents get in the hardest um phase of their life I felt powerless.
00:32:22.240 --> 00:32:48.079
And I think why I was twenty and and I still why I I was so selfish, like I still just mm study and get back home and enjoy everything they do for me, and uh at that time I still cannot earn money or cannot do anything to help them to get over the situation.
00:32:50.160 --> 00:33:03.200
And they they they get some health problem and my my parents totally like how they say, um it's still like the downfall of everything.
00:33:04.240 --> 00:33:10.640
They feel very sad and disappointed and I feel powerless because I cannot do anything to help them.
00:33:10.880 --> 00:33:17.680
And I still have two little m um uh brother and sister next to me.
00:33:17.920 --> 00:33:23.440
Um my mom cried a lot and my dad was quiet a long time.
00:33:23.920 --> 00:33:50.799
But then suddenly one day my dad was 60 years old, and that time I was very, very surprised that the 60 years old man he stand up and he told me it's okay, I will stand up, I will do some other job, uh, and we will do it together to pay the debt and we will be happy again, don't worry.
00:33:51.039 --> 00:34:00.640
And uh it's really inspirational for me because he was 60 years old and he was very strong to stand up and do everything uh again.
00:34:01.359 --> 00:34:08.800
Um and he told me one thing that I always remember and I think this this I will tell my son.
00:34:09.119 --> 00:34:13.440
He told me human beings is very incredible.
00:34:14.400 --> 00:34:16.159
We are invincible.
00:34:17.679 --> 00:34:21.280
Don't ever think that you cannot do something.
00:34:22.880 --> 00:34:31.440
Just to know that you want it, just to know what you want, and keep moving forward, you will receive what you deserve.
00:34:32.000 --> 00:34:45.360
So it really it hit me very hard and it always in my mind all all my life, since I was 20 years old until now nearly 40, and 20 years of my life.
00:34:45.679 --> 00:35:00.719
Any uh all the battles was very hard in the career or marriage or everything else, but it's just because my dad always always believed in me and he always believed in the strength of human being.
00:35:01.039 --> 00:35:06.559
And and I I always remind myself that human being very incredible.
00:35:06.719 --> 00:35:17.119
We can do whatever we want, but we have to know what we want and and make a great effort to to become one, I think.
00:35:17.440 --> 00:35:18.079
Yeah.
00:35:18.559 --> 00:35:20.000
I I love that.
00:35:20.639 --> 00:35:27.840
I love going through like you talking about going through the tough times and the the the message your dad gave you.
00:35:28.079 --> 00:35:33.360
I I have a black belt in judo, and so I know how to throw people really well.
00:35:33.760 --> 00:35:34.239
Wow.
00:35:34.559 --> 00:35:39.840
And I got that black belt from falling down ten thousand times.
00:35:40.159 --> 00:35:42.639
But I got up ten thousand and once.
00:35:43.119 --> 00:35:46.880
It's just about can you keep getting up when you fall down?
00:35:47.119 --> 00:35:56.880
And I think that one of the things that people don't realize, whether you're in communication, whether you are in work, whether you're in life, we all we will all fall down.
00:35:57.119 --> 00:35:59.039
But how do you get back up?
00:35:59.280 --> 00:36:01.039
You know, how do you get back up?
00:36:01.280 --> 00:36:07.280
You know, my wife the other day, she had a show and she came to me afterwards and she's like, that was a bad show.
00:36:07.519 --> 00:36:09.199
I didn't like my performance.
00:36:09.360 --> 00:36:11.280
And I said, Well, what are you gonna do?
00:36:11.519 --> 00:36:15.280
And she said, Well, I'm gonna work with a singing teacher.
00:36:15.440 --> 00:36:17.920
And I said, You're such a professional, you've been doing it for so long.
00:36:18.079 --> 00:36:22.800
And she says, But I can still learn and I can still practice and I can still be better.
00:36:23.039 --> 00:36:26.800
And I think that it's every one of us can improve.
00:36:26.880 --> 00:36:31.199
If you're a professional, if you're a beginner, I want to ask you a question.
00:36:31.440 --> 00:36:35.519
What's one thing you're still trying to improve about yourself?
00:36:36.880 --> 00:36:44.000
Wow, as you can see, that my English is not very perfect as I once, so I I'm still learning.
00:36:44.239 --> 00:36:45.920
Actually, I'm still learning.
00:36:46.320 --> 00:36:47.039
Yeah, yeah.
00:36:47.280 --> 00:36:49.360
I'm still learning to be better.
00:36:49.599 --> 00:36:57.280
Because when I was small, uh I didn't have very good condition to study English from a young age.
00:36:57.599 --> 00:37:02.719
Uh we studied very late, so we don't have a very good uh pronunciation.
00:37:02.880 --> 00:37:18.960
But I think most of Vietnamese uh in my generation, um our country have just had the the peace, uh the liberty in a very short time, and we was not in a very good condition.
00:37:19.360 --> 00:37:25.039
So not everyone have um uh international school.
00:37:25.199 --> 00:37:27.760
So we study English very late.
00:37:28.000 --> 00:37:36.400
So we still can be very good at uh grammar or comic communication, but our pronunciation cannot be perfect as the local people.
00:37:36.719 --> 00:37:42.719
So I I always try to learn more, to practice more, to be better every day.
00:37:43.039 --> 00:37:57.599
So as you told me about your family story, I really admire uh TV and you, uh how you teach Alani to be a very strong girl, but also very loving girl.
00:37:57.920 --> 00:38:07.280
So I I think I try to uh I try to keep learning all my life, and I will remind my son to do the same.
00:38:07.519 --> 00:38:10.800
Keep learning and try to be resilient.
00:38:11.280 --> 00:38:25.199
Uh anytime you fall down, you try to get back up right away, and and always remind him that he always have me, have his family to to go back.
00:38:25.760 --> 00:38:29.920
I think love is the most important thing in our life.
00:38:30.079 --> 00:38:37.119
And when you have the love of from your family, you will feel um invincible.
00:38:37.360 --> 00:38:45.840
Like anything like whatever happened in your life, just to know that behind your back is your family there.
00:38:46.159 --> 00:38:50.639
You know you'll be loved, you know you'll be cherished, and you you will be fine.
00:38:50.960 --> 00:38:52.079
100% agree.
00:38:52.239 --> 00:39:00.559
And I think that's one of the beautiful things of like knowing those people are there with you, knowing that they will stand with you is so huge.
00:39:00.880 --> 00:39:04.639
I I want to ask if you could answer one last question for me.
00:39:04.880 --> 00:39:09.599
If you could give everyone watching one last piece of advice, what would it be?
00:39:10.000 --> 00:39:12.320
Well, so many advice today.
00:39:12.960 --> 00:39:13.199
Right.
00:39:13.840 --> 00:39:21.440
And I think I think it's very hard to find a formula for someone because everyone is different.
00:39:21.760 --> 00:39:22.159
Yes.
00:39:22.400 --> 00:39:25.840
Uh actually, this is the last question, right?
00:39:26.239 --> 00:39:30.960
But uh it's still the same answer as the first question.
00:39:31.440 --> 00:39:34.639
Um understanding yourself.
00:39:34.880 --> 00:39:56.719
Like try to deep, yeah, try to to dig inside yourself very, very deep to understand everything about yourself, what makes you happy, what makes you sad, what makes you excited, um, what makes you want to to try to drive forward in in your life?
00:39:56.960 --> 00:39:59.119
Um, what is your purpose?
00:39:59.519 --> 00:40:17.039
Um so when you understand every single angle uh and aspects of yourself, you feel more confident, not because you are perfect, but because you know how to help yourself.
00:40:17.360 --> 00:40:25.440
Like normally you think that you can find some help um outside or from other people, but actually you can help yourself.
00:40:25.519 --> 00:40:30.079
You can be the the best friend and the teacher of yourself.
00:40:30.480 --> 00:40:37.119
Uh to teach yourself how how to become how to be loved.
00:40:37.519 --> 00:40:46.719
Um actually I I think I learned I have to learn to love myself the day I born Max.
00:40:47.360 --> 00:40:54.800
Before that I think I didn't take very good care of myself until the day I take care of Max.
00:40:55.039 --> 00:41:07.280
And I think like if I'm not a strong person, if I don't have a good health or um a good mindset, how can I teach my son that?
00:41:07.760 --> 00:41:23.199
Uh before that I was very active, I work a lot, I can have sleepless nights just to go do movies, I run every show just to earn money, I try to be successful.
00:41:24.000 --> 00:41:49.039
But after that, what it takes to be very rich and very successful, you don't have time with your f your family, um you destroy your health, you feel sleepy all the time, you destroy your beauty, you will uh don't you will have very bad skin, uh, and you you don't have a good diet, too.
00:41:49.119 --> 00:41:52.719
Like you you eat everything and you are what you eat.
00:41:53.039 --> 00:41:58.159
So I try to fix everything after uh being a mom.
00:41:58.800 --> 00:42:06.320
Because being a mom, I I I take very good care of Max and I realized that I didn't take good care of myself.
00:42:07.440 --> 00:42:21.920
So I think to to have the the last advice for everyone that just to try to understand yourself more every day, take good care of yourself, be healthy, be happy.
00:42:22.079 --> 00:42:27.920
You don't need to be the most successful person, but you have to be the best friend of yourself.
00:42:28.079 --> 00:42:30.639
Yeah, or can be the mom of yourself.
00:42:31.199 --> 00:42:35.840
So I think that that's that's just only a simple key to be very happy.
00:42:36.079 --> 00:42:36.559
Yeah.
00:42:36.880 --> 00:42:37.679
I love it.
00:42:37.840 --> 00:42:38.320
I love it.
00:42:38.480 --> 00:42:42.159
Where can people go to see more about you and what you do?
00:42:43.440 --> 00:42:49.920
Oh well actually I uh I don't really s uh do so many shows on TV.
00:42:50.320 --> 00:42:51.440
So only one.
00:42:51.760 --> 00:42:54.000
Um What about your social media?
00:42:54.320 --> 00:43:02.800
Um my Facebook, my Facebook, my Instagram, uh MC Huangwan.
00:43:03.039 --> 00:43:03.599
That's awesome.
00:43:04.320 --> 00:43:14.480
And for the for for for television, uh you can watch me on the daily news name 62nd on HTV.
00:00:00.640 --> 00:00:19.600
I you know after 20 years in this industry, but I have to admit that I've never without completely confident in the crowd without a very clear job or position.
00:00:21.199 --> 00:00:31.760
So when I was in the crowd, I'm a I'm a for example, I'm a guest in the event, sometimes I still feel like I'm not totally comfortable.
00:00:32.320 --> 00:00:45.119
Um and I so that's why I I taught myself that any event I I receive uh the invitation, I need to know my purpose to get into the event.
00:00:45.520 --> 00:01:01.840
So with that purpose, it's like um the the reason for me uh to be myself and I will feel more confident in in the the the space with all the people that most of them I didn't know who they are.
00:01:02.479 --> 00:01:02.960
Yeah?
00:01:03.119 --> 00:01:20.079
So like for example, if you just receive uh the invitation to go to the event just because um just to be polite, you will feel very um um shaking and not comfortable and don't know what to do.
00:01:20.239 --> 00:01:28.159
Um and normally like for your instincts, you you you don't want to talk to stranger and then you just stay in the corner.
00:01:28.480 --> 00:01:31.680
So that's why you need to know the your purpose.
00:01:36.239 --> 00:01:39.200
Hi, welcome everybody to Sean's Learning Adventure.
00:01:39.280 --> 00:01:41.599
I have a really awesome guest with me today.
00:01:41.760 --> 00:01:44.319
Can you tell people who you are and what you do?
00:01:44.719 --> 00:01:47.120
Hello everyone, my name is Hong Wan.
00:01:47.359 --> 00:01:55.120
Uh I'm a TV host, event host, actually, and sometimes uh I'm an actress in a movie.
00:01:55.840 --> 00:01:56.879
That's really cool.
00:01:57.040 --> 00:01:59.280
You have so many cool things that you do.
00:01:59.519 --> 00:02:03.680
Now, you've worked as a TV host, actress, and MC.
00:02:04.319 --> 00:02:07.760
What's the biggest lesson you've learned in your career?
00:02:08.080 --> 00:02:08.719
Wow.
00:02:09.039 --> 00:02:20.639
Actually, I I learned so many lessons uh from my experiences uh through how many years in my career.
00:02:20.879 --> 00:02:28.479
But I think the biggest lesson is understanding who you are.
00:02:28.879 --> 00:02:29.439
I love it.
00:02:29.599 --> 00:02:49.120
I think understanding yourself is the most important thing for me because I was a very introvert and uh I was a very introverted girl and I was very shy anytime I stand on the stage or in front of um everyone else.
00:02:49.280 --> 00:02:50.080
Um really.
00:02:50.560 --> 00:02:58.400
But I don't know, somehow I I I had a dream to be to become the the MC and the TV host.
00:02:58.800 --> 00:03:18.479
One day when I was 12 years old, I watched the TV and I feel um so mesmerized because of the the presenter and the program on the TV, and I wish that one day I can become the TV host like that.
00:03:18.800 --> 00:03:41.120
And that's passion, I think that passion drives me um forward, and I just want to become one so much that I overcome so many obstacles and overcome all the um how to say the the weaknesses of myself because I was very shy and introverted.
00:03:41.280 --> 00:03:50.800
Uh so I I have to learn and I have to experience more to overcome all my shyness.
00:03:51.120 --> 00:04:05.520
And I think understanding myself, not like you have to change yourself totally to just adjust to the situation, but you know how to use your skill um to be more confident.
00:04:06.000 --> 00:04:10.000
Like I don't have to be um someone else.
00:04:10.240 --> 00:04:16.720
Uh I st I I can be myself, but with more skills and more confidence.
00:04:16.879 --> 00:04:17.279
Yeah.
00:04:17.759 --> 00:04:18.560
That's awesome.
00:04:18.800 --> 00:04:23.759
And that's the thing, is like to be a better version of yourself, you know.
00:04:24.160 --> 00:04:37.839
We are all awesome people, but if you can find a way to be better at whatever you love, if you want to be a public speaker, learning ways to speak to people, if you want to learn music, learning ways to do that.
00:04:38.079 --> 00:04:47.199
But I want to ask you, because as an MC, an actor, and so many things, good communications, I'm sure, is very important for you.
00:04:47.920 --> 00:04:52.879
What's one simple tip that can help people become better communicators?
00:04:53.360 --> 00:05:00.879
Well, I think if just to choose one simple tip, I think is practice.
00:05:01.600 --> 00:05:06.800
You just have to be um very active to practice.
00:05:07.600 --> 00:05:10.319
First of all, you should attend a class, right?
00:05:10.480 --> 00:05:19.600
A course, anything that uh that uh if you are um a person who is not confident like me before in the past, I will very shy.
00:05:19.680 --> 00:05:28.639
So that's why I have to attend a class or a course about MC, about communication, to uh learn many, many skills for myself.
00:05:28.879 --> 00:05:38.959
Uh after learning the skills, I take time and I challenge myself to talk more in front of the uh of everyone and I practice a lot.
00:05:39.120 --> 00:05:54.399
And of course, through practice you will see that you have a lot of lot of uh um weaknesses and mistakes, and you learn from your mistakes, and then you you improve yourself through all the experiences.
00:05:54.800 --> 00:06:12.240
So I'm now I'm the the the uh the coach, the mentor for public speaking uh students, uh classes, but I always tell people that uh what you learn from school or learn from your class is not enough.
00:06:12.399 --> 00:06:14.240
You have to practice a lot.
00:06:14.560 --> 00:06:19.360
Like to be like people always say like practice makes perfect.
00:06:19.600 --> 00:06:29.279
So you have to practice as much uh as um like you have to practice a lot, a lot, a lot.
00:06:29.600 --> 00:06:36.160
And anytime you you fell down, you get up and you learn from your mistakes.
00:06:36.399 --> 00:06:52.000
You never like don't don't don't be so scared of making mistakes and don't be so um disappointed about yourself because through all the failure you become a better person, I think.
00:06:53.199 --> 00:06:53.680
100%.
00:06:54.240 --> 00:06:59.600
I think that we um many people are scared of failing.
00:06:59.839 --> 00:07:04.319
We're scared of looking bad, we're scared of making embarrassing ourselves.
00:07:04.480 --> 00:07:08.959
But the reality is the only way to get better is practice.
00:07:09.199 --> 00:07:14.800
If you get out and you do things again and again and again, eventually you'll improve.
00:07:15.199 --> 00:07:21.199
But you have to be willing to let go of your fear and understand that it's okay.
00:07:21.439 --> 00:07:22.959
It's okay to make mistakes.
00:07:23.360 --> 00:07:35.040
I think it's also really important to have a supportive group of people around you, whether that is a class, whether that is a community of people that will say, Hey, you know what?
00:07:35.199 --> 00:07:36.399
You're doing a great job.
00:07:36.480 --> 00:07:37.920
Keep going, keep going.
00:07:38.560 --> 00:07:44.959
I want to ask you this though, too, because many people aren't confident speaking in front of others.
00:07:45.199 --> 00:07:47.199
You said you were a bit of an introvert.
00:07:47.360 --> 00:07:50.560
Were you always confident, or did you have to learn it?
00:07:50.959 --> 00:07:53.279
Yeah, I have to learn it a lot.
00:07:53.519 --> 00:07:58.560
Like, I was not like naturally confident person.
00:07:59.519 --> 00:08:07.279
Um so I guess I guess most of us have something that we are not confident in our life.
00:08:07.519 --> 00:08:12.160
We are not like not everyone like 100% confident about everything.
00:08:12.399 --> 00:08:14.399
So it it makes us confident.
00:08:14.480 --> 00:08:22.639
I think what makes us more confident is knowing that everyone has something that they are not confident about.
00:08:23.199 --> 00:08:26.639
So everyone is the same, right?
00:08:28.000 --> 00:08:31.519
You know my wife, and it's like we're like yin and yang.
00:08:31.680 --> 00:08:41.919
Like, you know, I'm like yin and she's like yang, because for me, this talking to strangers, I do four podcasts a day, every day, from 8 p.m.
00:08:42.080 --> 00:08:42.879
till midnight.
00:08:43.039 --> 00:08:44.559
I have so many conversations.
00:08:44.639 --> 00:08:48.240
So it I can talk to anyone, and it's no problem.
00:08:48.399 --> 00:08:50.240
It's easy, it's fun for me.
00:08:50.399 --> 00:08:54.159
But for V, talking like this is not easy.
00:08:54.320 --> 00:08:57.120
And she's like, I have to talk to a person I don't know.
00:08:57.279 --> 00:08:59.840
I have to talk and like do public speaking.
00:09:00.159 --> 00:09:01.840
V doesn't like public speaking.
00:09:02.000 --> 00:09:06.960
And yes, if she gets on stage and sings a song, no problem.
00:09:07.440 --> 00:09:08.559
Completely confident.
00:09:08.720 --> 00:09:15.919
If I have to get on stage and sing a song, every time my wife asks me to go on stage and sing with her, my hands are shaking.
00:09:16.080 --> 00:09:17.600
I'm like, oh my goodness.
00:09:17.759 --> 00:09:19.360
I I it feels so intimidated.
00:09:19.600 --> 00:09:24.240
And you're right, like everyone has different levels of confidence.
00:09:24.399 --> 00:09:29.200
But the only way you get better is by doing it again and again and again.
00:09:29.759 --> 00:09:36.320
Yes, and I, and one more thing, you have to please you have to fire find a purpose to do it.
00:09:36.559 --> 00:09:36.799
Yes.
00:09:37.120 --> 00:09:43.440
Like sometimes you tell people to get on a stage and do something and to be to do public speaking.
00:09:43.679 --> 00:09:58.639
But if you don't give yourself or give your friends a a reason, a good reason and a purpose to do that, they they will feel like um they don't know what they are doing here, they don't know who they are here, for what?
00:09:58.879 --> 00:10:09.200
Like actually I I I have um totally understand, I I totally understand um mid-TV because I I'm very interested too.
00:10:09.519 --> 00:10:27.279
So when I'm when I'm on the stage, I'm like maybe not 100-200% confident about myself, but when I get out of the stage and if I'm in the crowd, just being a guest.
00:10:28.080 --> 00:10:46.960
I, you know, after 20 years in this industry, but I have to admit that I've never felt completely confident in the crowd without a very clear job or position.
00:10:48.720 --> 00:10:59.360
So when I was in the crowd, I'm a I'm a for example, I'm a guest in the events, sometimes I still feel like I'm not totally comfortable.
00:10:59.759 --> 00:11:12.639
Um and I so that's why I I taught myself that any event I I receive uh the invitation, I need to know my purpose to get into the event.
00:11:12.960 --> 00:11:19.600
So with that purpose, it's like um the the reason for me uh to be myself.
00:11:19.919 --> 00:11:29.279
And I will feel more confident in in the the the space with all the people that most of them I didn't know who they are.
00:11:29.919 --> 00:11:30.399
Yeah?
00:11:30.559 --> 00:11:47.519
So like for example, if you just receive uh the invitation to go to the event just because um just to be polite, you will feel very um um shaking and not comfortable and don't know what to do.
00:11:47.679 --> 00:11:55.600
Um and normally like for your instincts, you you you don't want to talk to stranger and then you just stay in the corner.
00:11:55.919 --> 00:11:58.960
So that's why you need to know the your purpose.
00:11:59.200 --> 00:12:04.480
And I I think even it's not not in c communication, but also in your life.
00:12:04.799 --> 00:12:07.200
Like I read a book named Ikigai.
00:12:07.440 --> 00:12:08.559
Ashley is right here.
00:12:09.759 --> 00:12:11.519
Okay, ikigai.
00:12:11.759 --> 00:12:12.720
Yeah, ikigai.
00:12:13.759 --> 00:12:16.879
That's the method from the the Japanese Ikai.
00:12:16.960 --> 00:12:24.159
Yeah so they they they they talk to you to find your purpose in your life and that makes you like keep moving forward.
00:12:24.559 --> 00:12:25.039
Yeah.
00:12:25.279 --> 00:12:35.759
So I think a part of communication is knowing that what is your purpose to communicate.
00:12:36.799 --> 00:12:40.960
So so why when you get that key, you will feel more confident.
00:12:41.840 --> 00:12:42.799
I love it.
00:12:43.679 --> 00:12:45.679
I do all of my podcasts.
00:12:45.919 --> 00:12:48.799
I have lots of podcasts, I do lots of conversations.
00:12:48.960 --> 00:12:56.879
I work so hard because my why, my iky guy, is to m make this world a better place for my daughter.
00:12:57.120 --> 00:13:07.360
And I feel like every conversation we have, every time that we can help someone, if I'm kind to a person, then maybe they're kind to another person who's kind to other people.
00:13:07.440 --> 00:13:13.279
And if I teach people to be better, to try harder, then I think that that's something for me.
00:13:13.360 --> 00:13:16.799
But I also think that I want people to find joy.
00:13:17.039 --> 00:13:21.919
And those are the things that I I go towards because I think that if we can find that.
00:13:22.159 --> 00:13:23.120
But you're right.
00:13:23.360 --> 00:13:27.200
If you don't know why you're doing something, it makes it really hard.
00:13:27.440 --> 00:13:41.679
And there's one thing that's interesting too, because in any conversation, you're trying to achieve something, you know, whether it be um, let's imagine business English is really easy to see this.
00:13:41.759 --> 00:13:47.120
Like because if I'm talking to someone from another company, that conversation has a goal.
00:13:47.279 --> 00:13:50.639
Maybe if it's sales, maybe it's relationship building.
00:13:50.879 --> 00:13:55.039
And everything that you're doing, you have to figure out what is your why for that.
00:13:55.200 --> 00:14:00.559
And you know, if you want to be more confident on stage, why do you want to be more confident on stage?
00:14:00.799 --> 00:14:09.279
But it's so interesting too because what you talked about a little bit, you you said that like sometimes when you go to an event, you're shy and you you're you're a little uncertain.
00:14:09.360 --> 00:14:15.919
But I want to ask you, how do you get ready before going on TV or before speaking in front of a big audience?
00:14:16.159 --> 00:14:17.759
Because you speak in front of big audiences.
00:14:17.840 --> 00:14:20.159
I've seen you at some very big shows.
00:14:20.399 --> 00:14:22.080
How do you get ready?
00:14:23.039 --> 00:14:27.360
Uh, actually, I just get ready like all the women did.
00:14:28.000 --> 00:14:37.519
Like uh, of course, uh to be confident, uh actually you have to be very well prepared before you get on the stage.
00:14:37.600 --> 00:14:41.679
Um, first of all, is your uh outlook, right?
00:14:42.000 --> 00:14:56.080
But the beauty doesn't mean that you have to be very uh luxurious or very splendid in the event, but you just need to be uh compatible with what you are doing.
00:14:56.399 --> 00:15:09.679
Like, you know, for for my position as an MC on the stage, uh sometimes for for children's party I will wear something different from um the CEO party, right?
00:15:10.000 --> 00:15:26.639
So the the beauty of an MC or just say in general for an artist, uh for the actress in the movie, the beauty is depend on the character and the events.
00:15:26.879 --> 00:15:32.000
What what is the event, what is the event or the movie required from you?
00:15:32.240 --> 00:15:42.240
Then you try to be the most uh compatible that you can to um to be the spirit of the events.
00:15:42.480 --> 00:15:50.000
Like for me, like if I go to the charity events and be the MC there, I just need the very normal white shirt.
00:15:50.320 --> 00:15:53.759
I don't need to wear even in gal that's very beautiful.
00:15:53.919 --> 00:15:54.720
I don't need that.
00:15:55.360 --> 00:16:01.360
And and in that case, the most beautiful is the symbol for the charity events, right?
00:16:01.600 --> 00:16:07.360
So I always pay attention on the spirit of the event that I'm I'm in.
00:16:07.679 --> 00:16:25.600
Um and secondly, I think um to be best performed in the events, I need to learn more about the knowledge that required from that field, from that industry.
00:16:26.080 --> 00:16:32.080
Sometimes I do tech events, which is I think is what I was very bad at.
00:16:32.320 --> 00:16:43.519
Like I'm very low tech, but sometimes I do det technology events, so I need to try to learn as fast as possible to understand all everything I will say in the script.
00:16:43.679 --> 00:16:49.279
Because you need to understand the script, otherwise you just the reading machine, right?
00:16:49.600 --> 00:16:58.639
So I try to be very knowledgeable and understand everything that I would say to people, to the audience before I say it.
00:16:59.360 --> 00:17:06.400
That's awesome because you know when you are informed on a topic, when you're informed on something, it allows you to have that confidence.
00:17:06.640 --> 00:17:18.400
Maybe you're not an expert on it, but you can at least uh operate from a place or or speak from a place where you have information that you can share and educate people.
00:17:18.559 --> 00:17:28.559
I try to r remember that when I speak with anyone, one of the things that I try to do is educate people is educate them on ideas, educate them on concepts.
00:17:29.039 --> 00:17:31.599
But you know, you you have this really beautiful life.
00:17:31.680 --> 00:17:35.039
And I I said earlier that my why is my daughter, Eilani.
00:17:35.279 --> 00:17:37.680
She's one of the big motivating things for me.
00:17:37.839 --> 00:17:43.119
But I want to ask you, how has becoming a mother changed the way you see life and success?
00:17:43.920 --> 00:17:44.799
Oh, really?
00:17:45.200 --> 00:17:51.119
Being a mom, really the greatest experience in my life.
00:17:51.680 --> 00:17:57.759
I has shan't become a very emotional girl to be a very calm woman.
00:17:58.319 --> 00:18:00.720
And it's really different.
00:18:00.960 --> 00:18:08.079
Actually, I feel like my son, Max, my son, like my teacher.
00:18:09.680 --> 00:18:18.480
He talks me a lot, uh, especially in my um mindset and behavior.
00:18:19.680 --> 00:18:25.440
Because before having him, um very impulsive, I I think.
00:18:25.599 --> 00:18:38.720
Like if I'm sad or angry or disagree with something, I will show my emotions right away and I try to take action right away.
00:18:39.119 --> 00:18:49.920
Which I think not very good because when you are hard tempered, you will not wise enough to make a good decision.
00:18:50.240 --> 00:19:02.559
But now when I have a baby, like I know that I'm very I have to be very um responsible for everything I do because anything I do will affect on my little baby.
00:19:02.799 --> 00:19:10.720
So I try to be very calm and I try to be very mindful in everything I do.
00:19:11.119 --> 00:19:19.200
Uh to be a happy mom, to be because I think normally they they say happy wife, happy life, uh.
00:19:19.359 --> 00:19:24.079
But for me I say happy mom, happy baby, happy mommy, happy baby.
00:19:24.319 --> 00:19:29.039
So I I I I learn to be very mindful in everything I do.
00:19:29.279 --> 00:19:34.319
And I try to be calm to be his um his supporter.
00:19:34.559 --> 00:19:41.839
Because because when everything happens in life and he sees me calm and confident, he can learn from that.
00:19:42.240 --> 00:19:42.799
I love that.
00:19:43.279 --> 00:19:43.440
Right?
00:19:43.599 --> 00:19:49.440
And and that's one of the things because you know, it can be hard to balance work and family.
00:19:49.759 --> 00:19:53.680
What advice would you give to parents who are trying to do both?
00:19:53.920 --> 00:19:58.960
Balance being a mom or dad and then also being a busy professional?
00:19:59.359 --> 00:20:07.599
I actually for me uh it's it's not easy to be balanced between work and and parenting.
00:20:08.000 --> 00:20:14.240
Um you cannot require yourself to balance the way that 50-50.
00:20:14.480 --> 00:20:18.000
It's I think it's it's very hard to be 50-50.
00:20:18.079 --> 00:20:20.799
It's sometime, sometimes, some period of time.
00:20:21.039 --> 00:20:29.920
Like you have to sacrifice uh your work to take care of your baby, actually f it's especially when you are a mom.
00:20:30.319 --> 00:20:38.079
Like I think I have to uh be I was off work for two years to take care of Max.
00:20:39.119 --> 00:20:46.799
And I never feel regret about that, um, because I already know what it takes to be a mom.
00:20:47.039 --> 00:20:49.839
Because I decided to to burn him, right?
00:20:50.000 --> 00:21:05.680
So I I feel very happy to to uh step back um just in work to be with my baby for the very uh important first year, two f two years of his life.
00:21:05.920 --> 00:21:18.079
Um so I think sometimes you have to uh share uh your attention and your time uh for your family more than your work.
00:21:18.559 --> 00:21:26.240
Maybe 70, 30, sometimes 90, 10, sometimes 100% from your family.
00:21:26.559 --> 00:21:32.000
But what makes you feel balanced, once again get back to the purpose.
00:21:32.160 --> 00:21:38.640
I think in life, I think I learned that in life, in everything I do, I find a purpose for that.
00:21:38.799 --> 00:21:50.160
When you find a purpose and you you accept what it takes, you will have enough of strength to get through everything else.
00:21:50.400 --> 00:21:59.759
Maybe in the journey you feel sad or you'll feel for more fear of missing out when you see your friends get going up.
00:22:00.160 --> 00:22:08.000
Up another level in their career, and you will feel oh, if I keep walking, I can have that achievement.
00:22:08.240 --> 00:22:16.160
But but you have to get back to why you begin, like why you choose to be a mom, and then you think, okay, it's okay, I have my purpose.
00:22:16.240 --> 00:22:18.160
I want to be the best mom.
00:22:18.319 --> 00:22:33.359
I want to be always present for my son, and I want him to be um very happy and confident and developed both in physically and mentally.
00:22:33.839 --> 00:22:42.240
So anytime I I have the purpose and I know what it takes to be a mom, I don't feel fear of missing out anymore.
00:22:42.400 --> 00:22:49.119
So I think the the balance, the key of balancing is the purpose.
00:22:49.279 --> 00:23:00.160
You do it and not losing yourself or not losing your dream when you're doing another job as a mom, as a dad, or taking care of your family.
00:23:00.400 --> 00:23:02.640
Like it's just a bit little bit late.
00:23:02.799 --> 00:23:09.039
You know that you will take two years to take care of your family, but don't lose yourself uh on the journey.
00:23:09.200 --> 00:23:10.240
Don't lose your dream.
00:23:10.319 --> 00:23:20.079
You know that after two years, you have some plan to get back, and even better, I think, with the with the experience and with the change, uh you will be more mature.
00:23:20.160 --> 00:23:23.039
And I think it is it helps.
00:23:23.200 --> 00:23:36.640
It's not like hold you back, but it helps you a lot to be a very um very mature person to achieve some other success in your life.
00:23:37.279 --> 00:23:38.000
I love that.
00:23:38.160 --> 00:23:39.599
And I I uh completely agree.
00:23:39.759 --> 00:23:48.319
I think that if we can find that that anchor and remember that we can always come back, we can always find a new way, you know.
00:23:48.400 --> 00:23:51.200
But you're right, sometimes it's not 50-50.
00:23:51.440 --> 00:23:54.960
Sometimes you have to go 70-30.
00:23:55.119 --> 00:24:01.119
And the reality is, is it's just about finding that balance that works for you, you know?
00:24:01.440 --> 00:24:03.920
And I think that that's very deep wisdom.
00:24:04.000 --> 00:24:07.680
But like you've met many interesting people.
00:24:07.920 --> 00:24:11.599
Is there one person or conversation that changed your life?
00:24:12.000 --> 00:24:32.640
Um I'm very grateful because I have met so many good people, many lessons, but just to choose one lesson, I think that from the Zen Master Tit M Nim, you know?
00:24:33.200 --> 00:24:35.680
The the Zen Master M Nim.
00:24:36.079 --> 00:24:40.799
Uh my son my son met him every year.
00:24:41.519 --> 00:24:42.079
Oh wow.
00:24:42.400 --> 00:24:47.440
And yeah, I I talked to him only once every year.
00:24:47.599 --> 00:24:49.200
Only once every year.
00:24:49.519 --> 00:24:58.720
And I remember the the time after my divorce was the hardest time, the toughest time of my life.
00:24:59.039 --> 00:25:04.799
That time I I I took all the responsibility for myself.
00:25:05.599 --> 00:25:14.079
I think I was not doing my best to to to keep the happy family for Max.
00:25:15.599 --> 00:25:17.920
But actually I already try my best.
00:25:18.079 --> 00:25:18.799
I know that.
00:25:18.960 --> 00:25:31.039
But did you there's something uh in myself uh feel like uh I'm not good enough and feel guilty, a little bit guilty.
00:25:31.759 --> 00:25:45.119
Uh you know that you are doing your best, but you still feel guilty because I think uh because maybe you think you are not powerful enough to to control everything happening in your life.
00:25:45.759 --> 00:25:51.599
And that's how I think if I can control everything better, maybe my son can have better condition.
00:25:52.240 --> 00:25:57.279
Um and I try to protect him as much as I can.
00:25:57.440 --> 00:26:03.119
I try to give him love and everything I can, love, time, attention and everything I can for him.
00:26:03.279 --> 00:26:06.960
But I'm still in the the stage that I have anxiety.
00:26:07.200 --> 00:26:10.880
I don't know why, like so much pressure.
00:26:11.359 --> 00:26:22.000
And then Tai Tayman Nim uh told me that would you want to change anything in your childhood?
00:26:22.960 --> 00:26:40.079
I think carefully and I told him, no, I didn't want to change anything because what I've been through make me become who I am today, and I'm very grateful and I don't want to change anything.
00:26:40.480 --> 00:26:47.599
And he told me, so why you want to change and control everything for your son?
00:26:48.400 --> 00:26:49.440
Let him be.
00:26:50.400 --> 00:26:54.559
Let him go through all the lesson he has to learn.
00:26:55.759 --> 00:27:00.480
Maybe he already chose you to be his mom before he comes to this life.
00:27:02.000 --> 00:27:17.920
And he chose this experience, he chose this lesson, and if you do it for him, you protect him, you try to do things for him, you take away his chance to be better, to be stronger, to be a real man.
00:27:18.480 --> 00:27:22.240
And this really opened my eyes and my mind.
00:27:22.480 --> 00:27:23.680
I think yes.
00:27:23.920 --> 00:27:38.799
Like if my parents do everything for me, if I don't try to be independent and overcome all the obstacles in my life, how can I be a very independent woman like what I a who I am now?
00:27:39.039 --> 00:28:02.000
And I think yeah, because I have so much love for my son, so I want to protect him all the time, but if I don't let him ping by his brand, walk by his own feet and fly by his own wings, I I that time I I I will be a very guilty mom, I think.
00:28:02.640 --> 00:28:03.039
Right?
00:28:03.279 --> 00:28:03.519
Yeah.
00:28:03.839 --> 00:28:13.920
And I I think that one of the things that is it's easy to try to do everything for our children and to protect them too much.
00:28:14.079 --> 00:28:20.559
But I do know that sometimes if we protect them too much, they won't have that struggle that's needed to grow.
00:28:20.799 --> 00:28:23.359
And in life, struggle is actually important.
00:28:23.519 --> 00:28:31.039
You want to get stronger, you have to go to the gym, and you have to lift weights, and it is a struggle to do that.
00:28:31.279 --> 00:28:33.759
But if you don't have that, there's no growth.
00:28:33.920 --> 00:28:46.079
Growth only happens on the other side of challenge, you know, and I think that one of the things that I have to remind myself with my daughter is let her fight her battles.
00:28:46.240 --> 00:29:02.240
You know, last year Eilani was at school and um she tried out for a role, and uh her teacher said she if you looked at Eilani, Eilani wanted to be in the school play, and the teacher looked at her and she's like, You're not Vietnamese enough for this.
00:29:02.319 --> 00:29:05.599
And Eilani's like, Whoa! They said it.
00:29:05.680 --> 00:29:12.640
And V and I, V and I were just like, okay, like, and I was like, My wife is wiser than me.
00:29:12.799 --> 00:29:14.640
I want to go fight all my daughters' battles.
00:29:14.720 --> 00:29:20.240
I wanted to go talk to that teacher and say, Well, you know, let her let her try out, let her try, let her audition.
00:29:20.640 --> 00:29:27.039
But my wife said, let her, let her go and and and fight her battles.
00:29:27.279 --> 00:29:31.440
And so my wife talked to her and she's like, you know, you are a strong girl.
00:29:31.519 --> 00:29:36.319
You can still get out there and you can still try out for this, even in whatever your teacher said.
00:29:36.720 --> 00:29:41.680
And so Eilani said, because I was like, let's not do it, let's not go for that role.
00:29:41.759 --> 00:29:42.640
I'm angry.
00:29:42.799 --> 00:29:45.279
And V's like, if you want to try, try.
00:29:45.440 --> 00:29:48.960
But understand that there are some people that just are not easy.
00:29:49.119 --> 00:29:54.000
But don't let your teacher stop you from doing something because of her opinion.
00:29:54.240 --> 00:29:56.400
And then Eilani said, I'm gonna keep on trying.
00:29:56.480 --> 00:30:00.640
And she went out, she got a different role, but she still was in the school play.
00:30:00.880 --> 00:30:02.640
And it was a great lesson.
00:30:02.799 --> 00:30:15.759
I wanted to protect her, I didn't want her to be judged, but at the same time, she went out there and she shone and she tried out and did something, and it was beautiful, and it's not something I can protect her from.
00:30:16.000 --> 00:30:19.279
It's not something we can't protect our kids from everything, you know.
00:30:19.440 --> 00:30:21.839
We can teach them, we can teach them skills.
00:30:21.920 --> 00:30:44.880
You know, Eilani, one of the things that we've had her doing for a long time is that Eilani goes to learn uh Thai boxing, Muay Thai, because when she was a little girl, oh yeah, when Eilani was like six, she was at school and they went on a field trip, and some weird man started following her and started following the bus and was like trying to to get her by herself.
00:30:44.960 --> 00:30:55.119
And V and I heard about this, and we were like, luckily the teacher protected her, and we were like there, we were there, but we it was like two seconds, we were just like not cool.
00:30:55.279 --> 00:30:59.839
And so V and I said after that, our daughter study martial arts 100%.
00:31:00.400 --> 00:31:05.200
And so she's been studying Muay Thai since five years now.
00:31:05.519 --> 00:31:09.200
Uh she's been doing Muay Thai, and she has a strong little punch.
00:31:10.160 --> 00:31:20.880
But I recognized that I can't fight her battles forever, I can't protect her forever, and we have to let and that was one of the things that I wanted her to to learn.
00:31:21.200 --> 00:31:27.039
But what I want to ask you, what's one lesson you hope your son will always remember?
00:31:27.759 --> 00:31:29.359
Oh well.
00:31:34.480 --> 00:31:44.079
I think this the lesson that I want my son to learn is from his grandpa from my dad.
00:31:44.400 --> 00:31:45.359
From my dad.
00:31:45.519 --> 00:31:53.039
My my family was bankrupt when I was 19 years old.
00:31:53.519 --> 00:31:54.079
Oh wow.
00:31:54.319 --> 00:32:02.400
About that time I feel because I'm the firstborn, I'm the first daughter, I'm the oldest in my family.
00:32:02.480 --> 00:32:08.400
I have two siblings and that time I feel about 20, 20 years old.
00:32:08.640 --> 00:32:21.279
That time I feel like when my parents get in the hardest um phase of their life I felt powerless.
00:32:22.240 --> 00:32:48.079
And I think why I was twenty and and I still why I I was so selfish, like I still just mm study and get back home and enjoy everything they do for me, and uh at that time I still cannot earn money or cannot do anything to help them to get over the situation.
00:32:50.160 --> 00:33:03.200
And they they they get some health problem and my my parents totally like how they say, um it's still like the downfall of everything.
00:33:04.240 --> 00:33:10.640
They feel very sad and disappointed and I feel powerless because I cannot do anything to help them.
00:33:10.880 --> 00:33:17.680
And I still have two little m um uh brother and sister next to me.
00:33:17.920 --> 00:33:23.440
Um my mom cried a lot and my dad was quiet a long time.
00:33:23.920 --> 00:33:50.799
But then suddenly one day my dad was 60 years old, and that time I was very, very surprised that the 60 years old man he stand up and he told me it's okay, I will stand up, I will do some other job, uh, and we will do it together to pay the debt and we will be happy again, don't worry.
00:33:51.039 --> 00:34:00.640
And uh it's really inspirational for me because he was 60 years old and he was very strong to stand up and do everything uh again.
00:34:01.359 --> 00:34:08.800
Um and he told me one thing that I always remember and I think this this I will tell my son.
00:34:09.119 --> 00:34:13.440
He told me human beings is very incredible.
00:34:14.400 --> 00:34:16.159
We are invincible.
00:34:17.679 --> 00:34:21.280
Don't ever think that you cannot do something.
00:34:22.880 --> 00:34:31.440
Just to know that you want it, just to know what you want, and keep moving forward, you will receive what you deserve.
00:34:32.000 --> 00:34:45.360
So it really it hit me very hard and it always in my mind all all my life, since I was 20 years old until now nearly 40, and 20 years of my life.
00:34:45.679 --> 00:35:00.719
Any uh all the battles was very hard in the career or marriage or everything else, but it's just because my dad always always believed in me and he always believed in the strength of human being.
00:35:01.039 --> 00:35:06.559
And and I I always remind myself that human being very incredible.
00:35:06.719 --> 00:35:17.119
We can do whatever we want, but we have to know what we want and and make a great effort to to become one, I think.
00:35:17.440 --> 00:35:18.079
Yeah.
00:35:18.559 --> 00:35:20.000
I I love that.
00:35:20.639 --> 00:35:27.840
I love going through like you talking about going through the tough times and the the the message your dad gave you.
00:35:28.079 --> 00:35:33.360
I I have a black belt in judo, and so I know how to throw people really well.
00:35:33.760 --> 00:35:34.239
Wow.
00:35:34.559 --> 00:35:39.840
And I got that black belt from falling down ten thousand times.
00:35:40.159 --> 00:35:42.639
But I got up ten thousand and once.
00:35:43.119 --> 00:35:46.880
It's just about can you keep getting up when you fall down?
00:35:47.119 --> 00:35:56.880
And I think that one of the things that people don't realize, whether you're in communication, whether you are in work, whether you're in life, we all we will all fall down.
00:35:57.119 --> 00:35:59.039
But how do you get back up?
00:35:59.280 --> 00:36:01.039
You know, how do you get back up?
00:36:01.280 --> 00:36:07.280
You know, my wife the other day, she had a show and she came to me afterwards and she's like, that was a bad show.
00:36:07.519 --> 00:36:09.199
I didn't like my performance.
00:36:09.360 --> 00:36:11.280
And I said, Well, what are you gonna do?
00:36:11.519 --> 00:36:15.280
And she said, Well, I'm gonna work with a singing teacher.
00:36:15.440 --> 00:36:17.920
And I said, You're such a professional, you've been doing it for so long.
00:36:18.079 --> 00:36:22.800
And she says, But I can still learn and I can still practice and I can still be better.
00:36:23.039 --> 00:36:26.800
And I think that it's every one of us can improve.
00:36:26.880 --> 00:36:31.199
If you're a professional, if you're a beginner, I want to ask you a question.
00:36:31.440 --> 00:36:35.519
What's one thing you're still trying to improve about yourself?
00:36:36.880 --> 00:36:44.000
Wow, as you can see, that my English is not very perfect as I once, so I I'm still learning.
00:36:44.239 --> 00:36:45.920
Actually, I'm still learning.
00:36:46.320 --> 00:36:47.039
Yeah, yeah.
00:36:47.280 --> 00:36:49.360
I'm still learning to be better.
00:36:49.599 --> 00:36:57.280
Because when I was small, uh I didn't have very good condition to study English from a young age.
00:36:57.599 --> 00:37:02.719
Uh we studied very late, so we don't have a very good uh pronunciation.
00:37:02.880 --> 00:37:18.960
But I think most of Vietnamese uh in my generation, um our country have just had the the peace, uh the liberty in a very short time, and we was not in a very good condition.
00:37:19.360 --> 00:37:25.039
So not everyone have um uh international school.
00:37:25.199 --> 00:37:27.760
So we study English very late.
00:37:28.000 --> 00:37:36.400
So we still can be very good at uh grammar or comic communication, but our pronunciation cannot be perfect as the local people.
00:37:36.719 --> 00:37:42.719
So I I always try to learn more, to practice more, to be better every day.
00:37:43.039 --> 00:37:57.599
So as you told me about your family story, I really admire uh TV and you, uh how you teach Alani to be a very strong girl, but also very loving girl.
00:37:57.920 --> 00:38:07.280
So I I think I try to uh I try to keep learning all my life, and I will remind my son to do the same.
00:38:07.519 --> 00:38:10.800
Keep learning and try to be resilient.
00:38:11.280 --> 00:38:25.199
Uh anytime you fall down, you try to get back up right away, and and always remind him that he always have me, have his family to to go back.
00:38:25.760 --> 00:38:29.920
I think love is the most important thing in our life.
00:38:30.079 --> 00:38:37.119
And when you have the love of from your family, you will feel um invincible.
00:38:37.360 --> 00:38:45.840
Like anything like whatever happened in your life, just to know that behind your back is your family there.
00:38:46.159 --> 00:38:50.639
You know you'll be loved, you know you'll be cherished, and you you will be fine.
00:38:50.960 --> 00:38:52.079
100% agree.
00:38:52.239 --> 00:39:00.559
And I think that's one of the beautiful things of like knowing those people are there with you, knowing that they will stand with you is so huge.
00:39:00.880 --> 00:39:04.639
I I want to ask if you could answer one last question for me.
00:39:04.880 --> 00:39:09.599
If you could give everyone watching one last piece of advice, what would it be?
00:39:10.000 --> 00:39:12.320
Well, so many advice today.
00:39:12.960 --> 00:39:13.199
Right.
00:39:13.840 --> 00:39:21.440
And I think I think it's very hard to find a formula for someone because everyone is different.
00:39:21.760 --> 00:39:22.159
Yes.
00:39:22.400 --> 00:39:25.840
Uh actually, this is the last question, right?
00:39:26.239 --> 00:39:30.960
But uh it's still the same answer as the first question.
00:39:31.440 --> 00:39:34.639
Um understanding yourself.
00:39:34.880 --> 00:39:56.719
Like try to deep, yeah, try to to dig inside yourself very, very deep to understand everything about yourself, what makes you happy, what makes you sad, what makes you excited, um, what makes you want to to try to drive forward in in your life?
00:39:56.960 --> 00:39:59.119
Um, what is your purpose?
00:39:59.519 --> 00:40:17.039
Um so when you understand every single angle uh and aspects of yourself, you feel more confident, not because you are perfect, but because you know how to help yourself.
00:40:17.360 --> 00:40:25.440
Like normally you think that you can find some help um outside or from other people, but actually you can help yourself.
00:40:25.519 --> 00:40:30.079
You can be the the best friend and the teacher of yourself.
00:40:30.480 --> 00:40:37.119
Uh to teach yourself how how to become how to be loved.
00:40:37.519 --> 00:40:46.719
Um actually I I think I learned I have to learn to love myself the day I born Max.
00:40:47.360 --> 00:40:54.800
Before that I think I didn't take very good care of myself until the day I take care of Max.
00:40:55.039 --> 00:41:07.280
And I think like if I'm not a strong person, if I don't have a good health or um a good mindset, how can I teach my son that?
00:41:07.760 --> 00:41:23.199
Uh before that I was very active, I work a lot, I can have sleepless nights just to go do movies, I run every show just to earn money, I try to be successful.
00:41:24.000 --> 00:41:49.039
But after that, what it takes to be very rich and very successful, you don't have time with your f your family, um you destroy your health, you feel sleepy all the time, you destroy your beauty, you will uh don't you will have very bad skin, uh, and you you don't have a good diet, too.
00:41:49.119 --> 00:41:52.719
Like you you eat everything and you are what you eat.
00:41:53.039 --> 00:41:58.159
So I try to fix everything after uh being a mom.
00:41:58.800 --> 00:42:06.320
Because being a mom, I I I take very good care of Max and I realized that I didn't take good care of myself.
00:42:07.440 --> 00:42:21.920
So I think to to have the the last advice for everyone that just to try to understand yourself more every day, take good care of yourself, be healthy, be happy.
00:42:22.079 --> 00:42:27.920
You don't need to be the most successful person, but you have to be the best friend of yourself.
00:42:28.079 --> 00:42:30.639
Yeah, or can be the mom of yourself.
00:42:31.199 --> 00:42:35.840
So I think that that's that's just only a simple key to be very happy.
00:42:36.079 --> 00:42:36.559
Yeah.
00:42:36.880 --> 00:42:37.679
I love it.
00:42:37.840 --> 00:42:38.320
I love it.
00:42:38.480 --> 00:42:42.159
Where can people go to see more about you and what you do?
00:42:43.440 --> 00:42:49.920
Oh well actually I uh I don't really s uh do so many shows on TV.
00:42:50.320 --> 00:42:51.440
So only one.
00:42:51.760 --> 00:42:54.000
Um What about your social media?
00:42:54.320 --> 00:43:02.800
Um my Facebook, my Facebook, my Instagram, uh MC Huangwan.
00:43:03.039 --> 00:43:03.599
That's awesome.
00:43:04.320 --> 00:43:14.480
And for the for for for television, uh you can watch me on the daily news name 62nd on HTV.
