Part 1 was about the clinical definitions and the "why" behind limerence - this episode is about what it actually feels like to live through it.
Limerence is a unique experience with some of the highest highs and lowest lows we can go through.
In this episode, we are diving into the lived reality of the limerent mind. We look at how we use art and music to seek solace or feed the obsession, how obstacles keep the fantasy alive, and what happens when we constantly try to "solve" another person at the expense of our own growth. We also dive into the spectrum between love and limerence, and how an anxious attachment style can make us uniquely vulnerable to outsourcing our self-concept to someone else.
We explore all of this through stories from my own life, friends who generously shared their experiences, listener comments, and examples from culture to make these ideas feel more relatable and less abstract.
If you have ever changed your routine just to catch a glimpse of someone, or felt like you were waiting to live your life because you spent years in fantasy relationships - you are not alone, and you are not broken. Let’s talk about how we can start gathering real data, ground ourselves in reality, and finally start choosing the reciprocal love we actually deserve.
Here is part 1: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2318937/episodes/19411931
Here is the playlist for the whole self-worth series on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPJBR0a3Yz6vsH5TkuPFtd2b7YgbL11OG
00:00 What Limerence Actually Feels Like
01:43 Art, Music, and Vehicles for Leaning into Limerence
05:50 Limerence Needs Obstacles
06:55 Why Some People Become Limerent More Easily Than Others
07:25 Pulling the Veil Up on Chemistry
10:14 Love Versus Limerence: Is It a Spectrum?
11:02 Time: Is This Constructive or Destructive?
11:50 Unmet Needs and Constant Evaluating
14:05 Worrying to Try to "Solve the Other Person"
16:45 Changing Our Routine in Hopes of Seeing Them
17:48 Grasping, Manic Energy
21:04 Self-Esteem and the Love You Deserve: One Tip for the Anxiously Attached
24:53 Our Culture's Love/Hate Relationship with Limerence
27:13 Reality, Gathering Data, and Journaling
27:49 No Longer Outsourcing Our Self-Concept
29:09 Balance and Love: Is This Living or Waiting to Live?
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