When the Inside Matches the Outside

In this episode of Field Notes from the Work (and the Wild), Lindsey Lerner sits down with Emily Pantel — career coach, facilitator, and founder of Self Over Should — to talk about the slow drift from yourself that happens when you spend years being exactly who everyone needs you to be.

Emily spent years as the star student, the first chair, the reliable one. She journaled since age six, studied psychology at Vassar, built training programs at Lululemon, and coached employees at Verizon — all while quietly wondering if any of it was actually hers.

It wasn't until she left her role, a grad school rejection, and a mantra she gave herself — follow the fun — that the path finally opened up.

In this conversation, Emily and Lindsey talk about:

- The root cause of burnout — and why Emily calls it self-estrangement

- What it means to follow the reinforcement vs. follow the desire

- Why Emily brings astrology into career coaching — and what the skeptics get wrong

- The tug of war between responsibility and aliveness

- What happened to her anxiety when her inner world and outer world finally started to match

- The practice of coming home to yourself before you update anything else