The Motivation Stack: How to Fuel Your Goals from the Inside Out

In a world that operates on a carrot-stick motivation loop (move toward reward & away from pain), one Olympic moment captures what I have believed all along about motivation: that the avoidance of pain is not nearly as effective as the power of positive emotion.

The most epic snap from the Paris Summer Olympics captures Brazilian surfer Gabriel Medina suspended in mid-air looking like an athlete who is not just on top of the world, but exactly where he’s meant to be.

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Have you had this moment in your own life? A moment of clarity and elation that you, too, are exactly where you’re meant to be? Whether you have or have not, you deserve many of these in your lifetime! So let’s get into it.

A Tale of Two Motivations

This isn't just a photo of a world-class athlete chasing a spot on the Olympic podium. This is a man on a comeback tour, and his story holds the key to understanding what really drives lasting success.

The carrot and stick analogy has it mostly right: to accomplish anything great you need both an extrinsic motivation (the “carrot” or reward) and an intrinsic motivation (the “stick” or the avoidance of pain). But here's what I think is missing - and it took me years of goal-getting to figure out:

* Intrinsic motivation is the more valuable of the two AND

* Chasing a positive emotion is more effective than running from pain.

So I would replace the carrot-stick analogy with this motivation stack:

🏅Extrinsic motivation = reward: medals, promotions, visible wins.

💫Intrinsic motivation = positive emotion: how you want to feel, what lights you up from the inside, what makes you come alive, how you are living life to the hilt without regard to reward.

The Story Behind the Snap

I was curious about Medina, so I devoured every article I could find. What emerged wasn't just another sports comeback story - it was a masterclass in what happens when internal and external motivation are stacked in your favor.

A three-time world champion, Medina faced the biggest stage of his career when surfing debuted at the 2020 Tokyo Olympics. But despite the fact that he was a highly decorated surfer, he left those Olympics empty-handed. By 2022, he stepped away from the sport completely, openly sharing about his need to find himself again.

During his time away from the sport he tended to personal matters (instead of avoiding pain, he leaned into it) and when he returned to competitive surfing in 2023 - happier, healthier, and more whole - he said at the time: "I want to win more world titles. I'm motivated and entering my best moment, professionally and personally. I want to enjoy this gift God gave me, which is surfing. I want to leave a legacy."

His external motivation was clear and his internal motivation was deeply rooted in positive emotion:

🏅 External Motivation: win more world titles.

💫Intrinsic Motivation: enjoy surfing and leave a legacy.

The rest is history. He qualified for the 2024 Olympics, caught the wave of his life, and had his comeback moment, taking home a medal for his country. The famous photo was evidence of the intrinsic motivation behind it all. The reward is cool, that feeling that was captured is what living life to the hilt is all about.

Finding My Own Wave

Once upon a time early in my career, I subscribed to Word of the Day emails. Every day, a new word would appear in my inbox and some days I learned something new. Until one day I learned a word that would become my entire personality.

The word was "El Dorado."

El Dorado: a place of fabulous wealth and opportunity.

It was like a little ding! ding! ding! went off in my brain. Like a: “YOOOhoooooo, this one’s for you”. A wink, wink, nudge, nudge from the universe! It was a word that captured how I chose to live life to the hilt and immediately became my mantra: pursue places and spaces that reek of fabulous opportunity!

And so I did. I became the girl chasing her el dorado. Every decision I made was with a lens of: does this reek of fabulous opportunity? If yes, proceed enthusiastically. Highlights included: going to law school, studying abroad, moving to New York, buying a condo in midtown manhattan, taking a position on my CEO’s team…I was chasing my el dorado and for decades, this pursuit shaped so many of my decisions.

And then 2020 hit, and like so many of us, I watched as the traditional markers of success and my perspective on opportunity shifted. The places and spaces and faces of opportunity started to look different, more sustainable and more fulfilling.

Within a few months, I would pack a bag to leave New York, life beckoning me onward and fabulous opportunity calling me elsewhere. Closer to home and more connected to family and nature than ever before, THIS felt like the fabulous opportunity.

And eventually, opportunity called me to leave the corporate scene altogether to pursue my passion for helping others pursue their own version of fabulous opportunity and spur them on to live their lives to the hilt.

The World According to Steph

* The motivation stack is simply this: 💫 lit-up-ness + 🏅reward.

* Put another way, this is your 💫intention and your 🏅goal.

* The secret is to start by clarifying your lit-up-ness.

* The magic is in letting your definition of both evolve.

This is why I'm passionate about starting the pursuit of any big dream with an intention, with your lit-up-ness. That is your intrinsic motivation that will act as your internal compass to guide you toward what really matters (to you).

Think about it: Medina’s lit-up-ness is in the enjoyment of what he believes he was put on this earth to do, and the reward of winning is just icing on the cake.

Next week, we’ll continue this series on living life to the hilt. In the meantime, I’d love to know: what’s your el dorado?

What lights you up from the inside? Drop a comment below! Not sure? That's exactly why I'm here - helping women discover their internal fire is kind of my thing! 🔥

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