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Welcome to Discovering Journeys, the podcast where individuals from all walks of life come
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together to share their experiences.
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I am your host Sujala and in each episode I bring you unique perspectives from those
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who have embraced change and growth, whether you are seeking inspiration, fresh insights
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or simply curious about different life parts.
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This podcast will connect you with journeys that resonate and inspire.
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Please note the content shared on this platform is solely for educational, informational and
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entertainment purposes.
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The opinions shared by the guests are their own personal views as it is based on their
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personal journeys and should not be construed as professional advice.
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Thank you.
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In this episode we are joined by Lindsay Ford, who loves helping women break free from fear,
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limiting beliefs and thought patterns, empowering them to fully understand their intuition and
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create their dream lives.
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Lindsay shares her own transformative journey from stepping away from a six-figure corporate
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career to prioritizing balance, fulfillment and family.
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She opens up navigating an amicable divorce, co-parenting, homeschooling and embracing
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life's changes.
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Her story redefines the norms around motherhood, success and fear, offering powerful insights
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into resilience, financial independence and the strength of intuition.
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Join us for a conversation packed with lessons and reflections.
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Let's dive in.
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Hello Lindsay, welcome to my podcast.
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I am super excited to have this conversation with you today.
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Thanks so much for having me.
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One of the first things that struck me about was one of your Instagram posts where you
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said that you could not think about going back to a six-figure salary.
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I just want you to tell me what was your phase like because it's not an easy decision when
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you're financially independent.
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Yeah, well I mean I guess I would say I would never, I would be happy to earn six figures
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any day of the week, but going back to that career and what I was, from an early age just
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working my way up the ladder with a goal of making a decent income, six figures.
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I made it by the time I was around 30 years old and then having kids, it just the hustle
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that was required, the way I was earning that money, being in that career, I was successful.
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I was really well known in my industry and well respected and it fulfilled a purpose,
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achieving that really was really good for my self-esteem and my ego and all of that.
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But then when I added kids into the mix and I just felt like I never saw my kids, work
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was a hustle but then the home life was a hustle too.
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Every morning was just a sprint to get out the door, get the kids ready and out the door
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and then the evenings were really no different.
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It was picking them up.
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At one point they were at two separate locations between childcare and school and then just
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getting dinner on the table and them being quite young.
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A bedtime was around seven so it was just like this mad scramble and I sort of checked
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all the boxes on paper.
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I had the good career, I had the husband, I had the house, I had the two kids and my
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quality of life was so low.
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I just felt like I was suffocating, I wasn't having fun, I was just sprinting.
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I was sprinting through my life and I was missing my kids growing up.
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I was paying other people to raise my kids and it got to a point where I knew that career
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wasn't what I wanted to do long term but I didn't know what I wanted to do instead of
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it.
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And because I was making such a decent income, I made way more than my husband.
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It was a hard thing to walk away from.
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I really had to sort of unravel all of my beliefs about myself.
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I had to unravel what it meant to be successful.
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Had a lot of conversations with my ex husband, my husband at the time of just fears around
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money and it was walking away from a salary but when we really broke it down, it was what
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we decided to do, what we were comfortable with was what were our expenses for over the
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course of a year.
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Let's put that in savings, let's look at our savings and it was really a decision to
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try it for a year.
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And at that point, I was walking into, I had already started a business doing positive
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parenting coaching and I was like, I'll let me take a year to see if I can build a business
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and then we'll reassess in a year.
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So between the time I really decided to quit my job and when I actually walked out the
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door was about eight months and we were just like sucking away savings.
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So it wasn't like an instantaneous thing and I would say from the time I knew that career
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wasn't meant for me till the time I walked out the door, that was probably about like
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seven years.
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Like it was just like this long, like it wasn't an instant decision, it was really just feeling
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my way through it and feeling my way through a lot of fear.
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So it was just one of the things that I've really learned over the years of making these
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big life decisions is there's no permanent decision.
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I knew that was a career I could go back to.
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I knew I was very employable.
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I knew I could go get a job somewhere else.
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So it was really just a decision to bet on myself and trial it for a year and reassess.
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So that's all it was.
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Okay.
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Did you feel burnout during this time when you were hustling with the family work?
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You know what?
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I really have never really resonated with so I don't really know how to answer that question
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because I don't really understand exactly what burnout is.
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I was struggling.
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I was stressed.
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I can look back now and say like my nervous system was shot.
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I know I was going through some, nothing major in terms of health issues, but I know like
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adrenal fatigue and there was stuff going on in my body that was showing like that stress,
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that sustained stress, that was my everyday norm that I didn't really understand how to
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do differently.
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I can look back and say like, you know, those were habits that I had to get out of and even
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when I actually quit my job and just was doing my business, that stress actually didn't go
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away, which was when I realized it was more of an internal pattern than whatever was happening
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in my external circumstances.
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It must have been a hard decision to take.
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This is such a situation where many women are caught between.
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Didn't it scare you?
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It scared me in the sense that yeah, to be then dependent on my husband, although I would
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say for the first year I didn't see it like that because I had, you know, based on my
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salary, we had been able to suck away all that savings.
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So I didn't feel dependent on him, but it shifted the dynamic in our relationship for
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sure.
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It, you know, I think what it really comes down to is do you believe you can earn money
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again if you need to?
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I still had savings.
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I didn't go through all my savings.
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The financial independence piece I do believe is important and I really do advocate for
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women to have a source of income.
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But I also feel there's these periods in our lives where we don't need to be hustling.
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And you know, there's a lot I went through in the years following, leaving that job where
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I can now look back on as that was time for my family.
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And I felt like such a failure career-wise.
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But now from where I am sitting a few years later, like, no, that was, you know, Lindsay
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back then in that hustle career, just wanting more time with her kids, I got that tenfold
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like in the following years.
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And I can now look back and that like so much of that was a gift and is now fueling how
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I work now and how I earn money now because I have tasted that free life with my kids
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where we had our slow days, where we had the quality time, where our relationship was super
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close.
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And I have no desire to go back into the nine to five workforce and that hustle because
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I can't imagine like it just feels so suffocating and so against what I'm trying to build.
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So all of these pieces have just been like pieces of the puzzle that are driving where
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I'm going now in terms of the family life I want to have and the career and the way
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I earn money.
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Like it's all just pieces of the puzzle that have been building to what I think is going
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to be a pretty epic life and what is it is already starting to be just like this really
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beautiful balance between work and family.
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It's beautiful when it works out and sometimes the situation allows it and sometimes it doesn't.
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Somewhere when you take when you take this decision, I believe you should also have a
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gut feeling that things will work out and if not, you will still be able to kind of carry
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on or go back to what you were doing before.
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I think this case a lot of people and it also takes a lot of courage to take that call.
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Yeah, and I just want to say like that pendulum for me swung like it was heavy career and
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then heavy family.
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And when I was in that career, I felt like I was failing as a parent.
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And then when I was in that like the opposite end where I was heavily into family, I felt
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like I was failing from a like a career financial perspective and now it's just like rebalancing
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the two.
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So yeah, I just wanted to share.
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Yeah, to just you for balancing.
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Just because it's it's never an easy thing.
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Coming to the topic of divorce.
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How did you navigate with the kids into the picture and breaking the news to them and
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making them understand and their innocence straightforward questions are one of the toughest
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I believe.
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So appreciate your experience.
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Yeah, and at that time there's it's funny because when we decided to get divorced, I
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wasn't making any money. I was fully into family mode.
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I was a stay at home mom.
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I was homeschooling my kids.
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We had such a great relationship.
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And I don't remember actually ever sitting down and having a conversation with our kids.
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We just sort of talked about it in our day to day like mommy's not going to live here
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anymore.
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And this is what our next few months are going to be like.
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And you know, we've decided we don't want to be married together or be married anymore.
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But we're still a family and we still like I was very lucky.
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My ex husband and I had a very amicable divorce separation.
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We always, you know, wanted to do what was best for the kids and our family.
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And like I continue to want him to thrive and he continues to want me to thrive.
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And so it's not to say we haven't had our moments and our times, but I feel like the
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bulk of the bulk of that was actually before we made the decision.
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And then when we made the decision, it was like a weight lifted off of both of us.
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And we actually stayed living together for another five or six months after the decision
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was made.
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We didn't tell anyone.
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We just sort of needed to sort of sit in it and like what did that look like, you know,
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for me, one of the scariest things up until that decision was not having an income.
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And then and then putting a plan in place.
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And what happened when I moved out is I had really wanted to travel.
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So I actually cashed in some savings and went on a five month trip to figure out what I
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wanted to do with my life.
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Because at that point, I was like, okay, if I stay here, I feel like I need to rent an
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apartment and get a job and I had zero desire to go back into that hustle.
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And I had really wanted to travel and I really had wanted to continue this homeschooling life
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and this slow life with my kids and and earn money somehow doing that.
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So I wanted to travel and go figure this out and ask everybody along the way.
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So when it came to telling the kids, it was I was moving out.
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And I was taking them on vacate like I was going on vacation for three months with my
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kids.
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So it was, you know, this was we just sort of laid out the plan for the next like five
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or six months.
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He said, you know what, you're going to be with mommy and Costa Rica for two months.
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And then we actually did a fail like all four of us in Mexico visiting his parents for Christmas.
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We wanted to spend Christmas together.
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And then I continued on to Bali after Christmas and they came back to Canada and with full
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time with their dad and and back into the public school system.
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So we just sort of it wasn't a big deal conversation.
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We just said, this is this is our plan for the next five or six months.
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And after that, we don't know.
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And we'll continue to talk about all the feelings that come up.
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We'll continue to talk about what the plan is when we know.
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But you know, we're going to go on this adventure for for five months and we're going to have
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fun in Costa Rica.
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We're going to have fun in Mexico.
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And then they're going to go experiment with living with daddy full time because at that
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time I was a stay at home mom and he worked a lot.
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So he had sort of checked out as a parent, which I think is kind of common in a lot of
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like where the mom stays at home.
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And the dad just feels like he has to work and work and work to support the family.
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And I really feel like that was a really great chance for him to I'll say sink or swim.
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Like that was he was because I really do feel that if I was around, he would have leaned
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on me a lot.
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And that that wouldn't have been good.
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Like he needed to learn how he wanted to parent and show up.
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So we just kind of, you know, even to this day, like I still don't have a permanent home.
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I've lived with my kids in Bali.
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They're back with their dad right now.
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I still see them, but it's just sort of this influx state and it's been two years now.
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And we just, you know, let them know as we know what to expect.
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And I think when we let them know what to expect, I think they're not surprised by anything,
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right?
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They're just like, you know, they're not surprised by the safety and knowing what to expect.
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And then there's been the conscious effort to stay connected because we're doing parenting
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so differently.
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And because there's international travel involved, like I just had the kids for six months in
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Bali earlier this year, and they talk to their dad every day, like they video chat
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at him every day.
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And when I've been away, they video chat me and it's a different sort of relationship,
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but it's still maintaining that, that connection.
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Like they've never felt from what I can tell, like abandoned by either of us.
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Yeah.
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I think that's beautiful when you are so open and give them also the space and you also
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the space to, you know, amicably move around and try to figure out the new dynamics of
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the family.
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What was the toughest question your kids have asked about divorce?
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I can't, you know what's coming to mind is for about a year or more, my son, you know,
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if I drop him off at his dad's, like, why don't you stay?
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Like when are you coming back home?
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Like it was almost like he was never like overly upset, but he was like stopping ridiculous
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mom.
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Of course, you're moving back in here.
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Like when it's like, when are you like stop playing around?
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So that's been, and it's funny because he doesn't do that with his dad.
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I've asked him like, is he talking about me coming back here?
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It's like, no, he's never mentioned it, but with me, he's like basically mom, like stop
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playing around to move back in here.
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Like when are you coming home?
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But apart from that, it's been, it's been, there hasn't been anything because we haven't
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made a big deal about it and there hasn't been a lot of tension.
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So I really feel like from their perspective, it's just, yeah, the hardest things are to
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navigate have been truthfully when, you know, when we were been away for six months and
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they've missed their dad, right?
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Like those are big or when I've been away for a couple of months and haven't seen them
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and they miss me.
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Like those are the harder, harder things to navigate.
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Okay.
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So you said you homeschooled and you have also sent your kids to the conventional schooling
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system as well.
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So I would love to know this, why the switch and, you know, and how hard was it to homeschooling?
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Yeah, the switch, I think I always like love the idea of homeschooling, but I never would
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have done it had it not been forced.
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And I would say forced through the pandemic, like it got really bad in the public school
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system here for my daughter.
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Her stress levels were through the roof and it was like, there was an immediate decision
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that needed to be made.
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Everything was very wrong and we, she couldn't articulate it.
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She was only, I think she was like six at the time.
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And we just, we made a decision to pull her out.
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So it was very last minute unplanned.
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Then I was just like, okay, I, because her mental state, like because she was so stressed
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out and anxious, I really needed to prioritize that in the beginning.
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And that's when I put sort of work on hold for a little bit.
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And it was like, I need to sort this out.
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And for the first month, maybe month and a half, I didn't do any academics with them.
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I just prioritize calming her nervous system.
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And that was hard because we were so conditioned, like even her, I remember her first day of
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homeschooling, she's like, I'm not learning.
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Can we keep learning?
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And I'm like, everything's learning.
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I was like, trying to be really chill because I didn't want it to be super structured in
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the beginning because, because of her, her nervous system and her mental state.
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And she was really stressed out about like, what's next?
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What's next?
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Like that conditioning of just like the school system of just like, go, go, go, keep, keep
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going, keep going, one after the other.
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And you know, for the first bit of homeschooling, like sort of after that period, I was like,
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oh, you know, like, let's just go off of what they're interested in.
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So if we'll ask a question, if they'll ask a question, like, you know, what's the difference
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between a butterfly and a moth?
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Like that's really good questions at that age.
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So then we would go to the library and research it.
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We would watch videos on it.
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We would, I would get them to write in their notebooks about like a just sort of structured
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it around what they were interested in learning and sort of built the other pieces into it.
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And then I realized that they loved that, but I didn't love planning all that.
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I was not a teacher.
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I didn't want to be doing like lesson planning after they went to bed.
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I wanted to be working on my business and doing other things.
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So it was really this evolution of different trial and errors.
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I ended up finding a curriculum that I absolutely loved out of the U.S.
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And we just focused on basically language and math.
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And I didn't worry about the other stuff because, you know, even things like, like science and
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environment, I felt like as they were asking questions, we were investigating all of that.
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So it wasn't, there was no, I didn't feel the need to put any structure around those
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types of subjects.
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It was really just, I want them to learn how to read.
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I want them to be able to write and I want them to understand math.
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And that was, that was it.
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Tell me about the parenting coach phase.
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So I actually started that business and that line of work a few years before I ended up
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quitting my job.
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So I was doing that in my mornings, in my evenings, in my weekends, teaching workshops
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a few times a year, like nothing major because I really couldn't handle much.
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And then in that first year after I quit my job, which funnily enough was, or funny enough,
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it was like a couple of weeks before the pandemic hit.
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So that year, that year was when I wrote my book, The Positive Parenting Framework.
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And my, the momentum was building in that business and even though I had to shift from
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a pandemic perspective, the book did really well.
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And I like, I wrote a book with two kids home and I was continuing to do that business.
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It was really like probably a year to a year and a, no, I would say like a, probably a
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solid year after I quit my job was really when that business started to, I'll say fall
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apart, but it was really just like life circumstances where it's just pulling my attention elsewhere.
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Like my home, like homeschooling came up and then my, my dad was sick in the hospital and
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my mom couldn't care for him properly.
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So I was taking care of my parents for a period too.
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And it was just like life just kept throwing me these things that, that, you know, I felt
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like a failure at the time because I'm like, I wrote a book with two kids home.
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Like I should be able to handle all this.
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I should be able to do it.
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But it was just like life was throwing these things at me and that was just like, stop
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your career, stop everything, like, like just put this on hold.
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And it was like, I'll say like life just like beat that business out of me.
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And it just, it, it felt like my creativity died for it.
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My inspiration died.
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Like it, and I like, yeah, I beat myself up a lot about that.
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But that business was my baby.
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I loved, like, I loved doing that until I didn't.
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And then I had to let go of that, you know, a quote unquote failure.
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And I was like, like, that was really hard to let go of.
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That was probably a year and a half later that I let go of, that I formally let go of
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it because it was, it just needed to go, but I was hanging onto it because it was something
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I wanted, you know, as someone who has always been successful in whatever she tried it,
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it just felt like, you know, I had to make it successful, but it just, it wasn't coming
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easy.
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It wasn't fun.
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It felt more heavy.
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Was it your passionate project?
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I was so attached to it and, and it did good for a while.
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Like I loved teaching.
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I loved helping parents.
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I was inspired by what was going on in my own life with my kids and what I was learning
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and I was happy sharing.
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Now I can look back at that particular business as a really great foundation for the business
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I'm doing now.
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So I didn't see that at the time because I was literally like saying goodbye to that
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business as I was saying goodbye to my marriage and starting to travel and being like, what
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am I doing with my life?
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It was just sort of all at the same time.
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And so I didn't know what was next for me.
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So everything felt like it was crumbling around me, even though I was headed on this vacation
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and this exploration, it was just like everything in my life was crumbling around me and I didn't
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know what I was walking into.
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How about these transitions?
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Did it take an emotional toll on you?
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Yeah, such big transitions, a lot of them all at once.
358
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I mean, I've definitely had my moments of what am I doing with my life, sobbing by myself,
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but I had done enough personal development stuff by that point and then I continue to
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do a lot.
361
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I've done a lot more in the last couple of years.
362
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And so I knew how to sit with my emotions.
363
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I knew even from teaching parenting that one of the best ways through all of the emotional
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outbursts from our kids is just let that wave, just let it crash over you and just wait for
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it to, yeah, just wait for it to go.
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And so I was able to sit with a lot of my fears and I understood that fear likes to
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be general, which means that if you start to ask your fear questions and try to get really
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specific about what is bringing up the fear in you, it just kind of either fades away
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or that problem in front of you becomes really, really manageable.
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So for a big decision, walking away from a marriage or even just going into the unknown
371
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of traveling, what specifically was I afraid of for the travel piece?
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Really what it came down to is I would look like an idiot.
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I would lose some money, but I also knew that at any point along that process, I could change
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my mind and come back and get a job.
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There was always these ways of going back and I'm not necessarily saying I could go
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back to that marriage, but what was the security pieces of that marriage?
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And to me, the security piece was really like we stayed together for a while after we really
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should have ended it because of finances.
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And we had this conversation because we valued homeschooling the kids, we valued how we were
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raising them.
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And we didn't see another way to do this without being together financially.
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I couldn't afford a place.
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He couldn't afford to pay for a second place in terms of like spousal support and all that
384
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stuff.
385
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So it was just really like getting specific about what it was that I was afraid of and
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then not being afraid of all of the emotions that come up because the emotions that come
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up, the self-criticism that comes up, all of the limiting beliefs, they're just coming
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up and I understand this better now.
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They're coming up because you're ready to move through them and you're ready to heal
390
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them and they're not going to consume you.
391
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So I can sit now in a puddle of just like what am I doing with my life and know that
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it will pass in an hour or a few days.
393
00:28:45,880 --> 00:28:51,280
So you can start to learn how to really feel it all and understand that it's not really
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you.
395
00:28:52,280 --> 00:28:54,800
It's just this part of you that you're moving.
396
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It's just the thing that you're moving to, but the higher version of yourself is just
397
00:29:00,080 --> 00:29:01,840
like, yeah, this is totally fine.
398
00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:05,640
Just move through it and move on.
399
00:29:05,640 --> 00:29:09,560
So you can kind of get experiencing it and then also observing it.
400
00:29:09,560 --> 00:29:15,360
I love what you said about the fear that it either it fades away or either it becomes
401
00:29:15,360 --> 00:29:16,360
so prominent.
402
00:29:16,360 --> 00:29:17,360
I love that.
403
00:29:17,360 --> 00:29:19,000
That is so true.
404
00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:24,560
Sometimes we just don't want to know what that fear is and we like to live in that fear.
405
00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:30,400
We think that fear comes up because it's meant to stop us and then we just turn and run away.
406
00:29:30,400 --> 00:29:35,720
We're so afraid of feeling fear, of asking it questions and getting specific.
407
00:29:35,720 --> 00:29:39,400
It's fascinating to watch and that like fear is one of the things that I love to talk about
408
00:29:39,400 --> 00:29:46,840
now in my this new version of myself because I see the value in sitting with fear and I
409
00:29:46,840 --> 00:29:49,960
see now that fear is just a part of the process.
410
00:29:49,960 --> 00:29:51,840
It's not there to stop you.
411
00:29:51,840 --> 00:29:57,840
It's not there to cause you issues and it's not it cannot be avoided.
412
00:29:57,840 --> 00:30:03,480
And I also believe that the more you suppress, it just becomes a bigger fear of something
413
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which is not known.
414
00:30:05,120 --> 00:30:10,280
It's like unless and until you have to enter the room of fear and see what it is, you just
415
00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:11,280
can't overcome.
416
00:30:11,280 --> 00:30:15,480
No, it'll be there and it'll get louder and louder until you pay attention to it.
417
00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:19,240
So if it's more than we are, we are very good at ignoring it.
418
00:30:19,240 --> 00:30:22,840
So good at ignoring it.
419
00:30:22,840 --> 00:30:23,840
Absolutely.
420
00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:29,960
Okay, let's speak about warm guilt, which is I don't know.
421
00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:36,040
Is it a conditioning of the society which is given to us or we ourselves have grown up
422
00:30:36,040 --> 00:30:37,040
with it.
423
00:30:37,040 --> 00:30:39,800
So we sometimes we don't even feel it's wrong.
424
00:30:39,800 --> 00:30:44,080
We feel we have to take that mom guilt on our head.
425
00:30:44,080 --> 00:30:47,920
Yeah, and I think I think it's a lot of our conditioning.
426
00:30:47,920 --> 00:30:52,440
Now I don't know when that conditioning would have started because like the moms have been
427
00:30:52,440 --> 00:30:56,240
the primary caregiver for young ages.
428
00:30:56,240 --> 00:31:01,760
And how most of us have been brought up it's to prioritize the needs of others or the expectations
429
00:31:01,760 --> 00:31:12,080
of others without honoring what is truly, you know, our own or our perspective or what
430
00:31:12,080 --> 00:31:14,800
is in our best interest.
431
00:31:14,800 --> 00:31:23,840
And I think so much of that is in our conditioning as we're being raised to be good to do what's
432
00:31:23,840 --> 00:31:25,160
expected.
433
00:31:25,160 --> 00:31:34,000
And if you don't, if you sort of break like break the rules or go off script, like you're
434
00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:37,440
bad in some way.
435
00:31:37,440 --> 00:31:43,000
And that translates to every aspect of our life, including our parenting.
436
00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:49,160
Like we're, you know, I looked at, you know, when I was doing the positive parenting coaching
437
00:31:49,160 --> 00:31:56,360
stuff and even before I was so, I felt so suffocated by the messaging that was out there
438
00:31:56,360 --> 00:31:57,360
for moms.
439
00:31:57,360 --> 00:32:03,600
It's like, I remember shopping for a stroller and car seat and it was like all these different
440
00:32:03,600 --> 00:32:07,720
options and it's like, so as not to suffocate the baby or don't leave the baby here too
441
00:32:07,720 --> 00:32:09,520
longer, their head will get flat.
442
00:32:09,520 --> 00:32:12,360
It's just so much like fear based.
443
00:32:12,360 --> 00:32:16,120
I really think that we should just embrace that we are going to screw up our kids in
444
00:32:16,120 --> 00:32:21,200
some way, shape or form, it's just to what degree and how much because you can't, you
445
00:32:21,200 --> 00:32:23,640
can't know how they're perceiving the world.
446
00:32:23,640 --> 00:32:30,680
But my point is, is just we're so, I think we've just been so conditioned to be afraid
447
00:32:30,680 --> 00:32:32,280
or for prioritizing ourselves.
448
00:32:32,280 --> 00:32:35,360
Like what kind of mother prioritizes herself over her kids?
449
00:32:35,360 --> 00:32:37,080
Isn't that selfish?
450
00:32:37,080 --> 00:32:46,000
Like it's, it's just, I think it's the conditioning and it takes a lot of internal work and reflection
451
00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:53,400
and willing to sit with your own stuff and your own beliefs to really move through it.
452
00:32:53,400 --> 00:32:59,360
And I also believe it takes a courage to break, break this mold of, you know, whatever construct
453
00:32:59,360 --> 00:33:00,920
we have been given.
454
00:33:00,920 --> 00:33:05,760
I remember reading this, can't pour from an empty cup.
455
00:33:05,760 --> 00:33:12,120
So when we are depleted and we are, you know, don't have patience, we just can't give our
456
00:33:12,120 --> 00:33:18,480
kids that environment of calmness because your stress, I am glad that it is maybe not
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00:33:18,480 --> 00:33:23,680
in a larger percentage, but there is some percentage which they have opened up to this.
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00:33:23,680 --> 00:33:27,280
So it's, it's a good change, I believe.
459
00:33:27,280 --> 00:33:28,280
Yeah.
460
00:33:28,280 --> 00:33:32,160
And you know what, with that cup thing, I heard something recently of like, you can't
461
00:33:32,160 --> 00:33:36,960
give to someone else unless your cup is overflowing.
462
00:33:36,960 --> 00:33:42,080
And that I thought was like a really different perspective because I've certainly heard like
463
00:33:42,080 --> 00:33:49,520
from an empty cup, but yeah, if your cup is not full, then you can't share that like joy
464
00:33:49,520 --> 00:33:56,000
and abundance with, with anyone else because you're not filled up.
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00:33:56,000 --> 00:33:59,360
And so you're going to come at it from even a slightly depleted place.
466
00:33:59,360 --> 00:34:00,360
It's interesting.
467
00:34:00,360 --> 00:34:03,160
It's interesting, these little analogies to think about.
468
00:34:03,160 --> 00:34:04,160
Yeah.
469
00:34:04,160 --> 00:34:05,160
Yeah, it's true.
470
00:34:05,160 --> 00:34:10,120
Lastly, tell me about your biggest challenge.
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00:34:10,120 --> 00:34:15,000
You know what, the biggest thing for me, I mean, we all have limiting beliefs and they're
472
00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:18,360
all, you know, they're ours to deal with.
473
00:34:18,360 --> 00:34:24,960
But one of the big things that came up for me was this, leaving my kids.
474
00:34:24,960 --> 00:34:31,960
But when I started traveling by myself for two months was my first trip without my kids.
475
00:34:31,960 --> 00:34:36,360
The guilt, the guilt that came up.
476
00:34:36,360 --> 00:34:37,520
How can you leave your kids?
477
00:34:37,520 --> 00:34:41,960
What kind of mother leaves her kids?
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00:34:41,960 --> 00:34:49,040
And then when I came back from that trip, I knew that I was not coming back to settle
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00:34:49,040 --> 00:34:50,040
down.
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00:34:50,040 --> 00:34:54,120
I was not coming back to get a house or a home.
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00:34:54,120 --> 00:35:00,320
I was coming back and I was going to be staying with my parents for, I think, five months and
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00:35:00,320 --> 00:35:02,760
I could feel that in my intuition.
483
00:35:02,760 --> 00:35:06,640
And all of this has been driven by intuition, which we haven't mentioned, but that's important
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00:35:06,640 --> 00:35:11,680
because it's been this very strong intuitive pull this whole time.
485
00:35:11,680 --> 00:35:16,240
And to prioritize that, like I remember, I'm like, what kind of mom doesn't have a home
486
00:35:16,240 --> 00:35:18,400
for her kids?
487
00:35:18,400 --> 00:35:23,200
What kind of mom is, like, it's just, yeah.
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00:35:23,200 --> 00:35:28,720
And I know that is not going to be perhaps relatable to a lot of people listening, but
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00:35:28,720 --> 00:35:36,000
we do have this sort of script running in the background of our minds of judging ourselves
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00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:46,000
for, and whether we're a good mom or not, for me to prioritize myself and my intuition
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00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:54,160
and what was pulling me and lighting me up over from external appearances and even from
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00:35:54,160 --> 00:36:00,760
my perspective for a while over what was best for my kids.
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00:36:00,760 --> 00:36:05,680
That was something that I really needed to work through.
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00:36:05,680 --> 00:36:11,960
And we see this on smaller scales of just even like taking a day to yourself or asking
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00:36:11,960 --> 00:36:16,080
for help and just like parking your butt on the couch and saying, I'm going to take a
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00:36:16,080 --> 00:36:17,080
lazy day.
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00:36:17,080 --> 00:36:22,040
Like, I could not do that before.
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00:36:22,040 --> 00:36:24,240
I could not.
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00:36:24,240 --> 00:36:28,000
It was really hard because I was just like, I need to just be in this go, go, go.
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00:36:28,000 --> 00:36:29,680
There's so much to do.
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00:36:29,680 --> 00:36:31,480
And I just couldn't rest.
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00:36:31,480 --> 00:36:32,480
I couldn't.
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00:36:32,480 --> 00:36:35,480
Like, I just had such a hard time with that.
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00:36:35,480 --> 00:36:43,800
And what I have learned is that my kids get to witness me prioritizing myself, which also
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00:36:43,800 --> 00:36:47,160
gives them permission to prioritize themselves.
506
00:36:47,160 --> 00:36:48,160
Yeah.
507
00:36:48,160 --> 00:36:49,160
Yeah, it's true.
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00:36:49,160 --> 00:36:50,160
Okay, Lindsay.
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00:36:50,160 --> 00:36:54,480
Thank you so much for your time and it was lovely having you.
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00:36:54,480 --> 00:36:55,800
Thank you so much for having me.
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00:36:55,800 --> 00:36:58,440
I've really, thoroughly enjoyed this conversation.
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00:36:58,440 --> 00:37:04,240
Thank you for listening to this episode of Discovering Journeys.
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I would love for this podcast to reach as many people as possible.
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00:37:08,320 --> 00:37:13,480
So please remember to subscribe, rate and leave a positive review.
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00:37:13,480 --> 00:37:18,160
Share this podcast with someone you think who would appreciate this conversation.
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00:37:18,160 --> 00:37:21,760
Check out the show notes for all the links and details.
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00:37:21,760 --> 00:37:47,960
Until next time, keep embracing your journey and discovering new paths.
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:09,840
Welcome to Discovering Journeys, the podcast where individuals from all walks of life come
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together to share their experiences.
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I am your host Sujala and in each episode I bring you unique perspectives from those
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who have embraced change and growth, whether you are seeking inspiration, fresh insights
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or simply curious about different life parts.
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This podcast will connect you with journeys that resonate and inspire.
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Please note the content shared on this platform is solely for educational, informational and
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entertainment purposes.
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The opinions shared by the guests are their own personal views as it is based on their
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personal journeys and should not be construed as professional advice.
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Thank you.
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In this episode we are joined by Lindsay Ford, who loves helping women break free from fear,
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limiting beliefs and thought patterns, empowering them to fully understand their intuition and
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create their dream lives.
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Lindsay shares her own transformative journey from stepping away from a six-figure corporate
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career to prioritizing balance, fulfillment and family.
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She opens up navigating an amicable divorce, co-parenting, homeschooling and embracing
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life's changes.
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Her story redefines the norms around motherhood, success and fear, offering powerful insights
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into resilience, financial independence and the strength of intuition.
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Join us for a conversation packed with lessons and reflections.
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Let's dive in.
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Hello Lindsay, welcome to my podcast.
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I am super excited to have this conversation with you today.
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Thanks so much for having me.
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One of the first things that struck me about was one of your Instagram posts where you
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said that you could not think about going back to a six-figure salary.
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I just want you to tell me what was your phase like because it's not an easy decision when
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you're financially independent.
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Yeah, well I mean I guess I would say I would never, I would be happy to earn six figures
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any day of the week, but going back to that career and what I was, from an early age just
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working my way up the ladder with a goal of making a decent income, six figures.
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I made it by the time I was around 30 years old and then having kids, it just the hustle
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that was required, the way I was earning that money, being in that career, I was successful.
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I was really well known in my industry and well respected and it fulfilled a purpose,
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achieving that really was really good for my self-esteem and my ego and all of that.
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But then when I added kids into the mix and I just felt like I never saw my kids, work
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was a hustle but then the home life was a hustle too.
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Every morning was just a sprint to get out the door, get the kids ready and out the door
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and then the evenings were really no different.
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It was picking them up.
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At one point they were at two separate locations between childcare and school and then just
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getting dinner on the table and them being quite young.
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A bedtime was around seven so it was just like this mad scramble and I sort of checked
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all the boxes on paper.
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I had the good career, I had the husband, I had the house, I had the two kids and my
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quality of life was so low.
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I just felt like I was suffocating, I wasn't having fun, I was just sprinting.
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I was sprinting through my life and I was missing my kids growing up.
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I was paying other people to raise my kids and it got to a point where I knew that career
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wasn't what I wanted to do long term but I didn't know what I wanted to do instead of
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it.
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And because I was making such a decent income, I made way more than my husband.
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It was a hard thing to walk away from.
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I really had to sort of unravel all of my beliefs about myself.
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I had to unravel what it meant to be successful.
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Had a lot of conversations with my ex husband, my husband at the time of just fears around
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money and it was walking away from a salary but when we really broke it down, it was what
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we decided to do, what we were comfortable with was what were our expenses for over the
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course of a year.
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Let's put that in savings, let's look at our savings and it was really a decision to
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try it for a year.
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And at that point, I was walking into, I had already started a business doing positive
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parenting coaching and I was like, I'll let me take a year to see if I can build a business
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and then we'll reassess in a year.
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So between the time I really decided to quit my job and when I actually walked out the
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door was about eight months and we were just like sucking away savings.
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So it wasn't like an instantaneous thing and I would say from the time I knew that career
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wasn't meant for me till the time I walked out the door, that was probably about like
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seven years.
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Like it was just like this long, like it wasn't an instant decision, it was really just feeling
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my way through it and feeling my way through a lot of fear.
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So it was just one of the things that I've really learned over the years of making these
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big life decisions is there's no permanent decision.
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I knew that was a career I could go back to.
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I knew I was very employable.
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I knew I could go get a job somewhere else.
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So it was really just a decision to bet on myself and trial it for a year and reassess.
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So that's all it was.
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Okay.
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Did you feel burnout during this time when you were hustling with the family work?
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You know what?
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I really have never really resonated with so I don't really know how to answer that question
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because I don't really understand exactly what burnout is.
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I was struggling.
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I was stressed.
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I can look back now and say like my nervous system was shot.
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I know I was going through some, nothing major in terms of health issues, but I know like
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adrenal fatigue and there was stuff going on in my body that was showing like that stress,
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that sustained stress, that was my everyday norm that I didn't really understand how to
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do differently.
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I can look back and say like, you know, those were habits that I had to get out of and even
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when I actually quit my job and just was doing my business, that stress actually didn't go
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away, which was when I realized it was more of an internal pattern than whatever was happening
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in my external circumstances.
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It must have been a hard decision to take.
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This is such a situation where many women are caught between.
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Didn't it scare you?
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It scared me in the sense that yeah, to be then dependent on my husband, although I would
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say for the first year I didn't see it like that because I had, you know, based on my
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salary, we had been able to suck away all that savings.
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So I didn't feel dependent on him, but it shifted the dynamic in our relationship for
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sure.
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It, you know, I think what it really comes down to is do you believe you can earn money
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again if you need to?
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I still had savings.
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I didn't go through all my savings.
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The financial independence piece I do believe is important and I really do advocate for
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women to have a source of income.
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But I also feel there's these periods in our lives where we don't need to be hustling.
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And you know, there's a lot I went through in the years following, leaving that job where
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I can now look back on as that was time for my family.
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And I felt like such a failure career-wise.
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But now from where I am sitting a few years later, like, no, that was, you know, Lindsay
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back then in that hustle career, just wanting more time with her kids, I got that tenfold
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like in the following years.
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And I can now look back and that like so much of that was a gift and is now fueling how
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I work now and how I earn money now because I have tasted that free life with my kids
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where we had our slow days, where we had the quality time, where our relationship was super
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close.
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And I have no desire to go back into the nine to five workforce and that hustle because
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I can't imagine like it just feels so suffocating and so against what I'm trying to build.
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So all of these pieces have just been like pieces of the puzzle that are driving where
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I'm going now in terms of the family life I want to have and the career and the way
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I earn money.
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Like it's all just pieces of the puzzle that have been building to what I think is going
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to be a pretty epic life and what is it is already starting to be just like this really
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beautiful balance between work and family.
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It's beautiful when it works out and sometimes the situation allows it and sometimes it doesn't.
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Somewhere when you take when you take this decision, I believe you should also have a
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gut feeling that things will work out and if not, you will still be able to kind of carry
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on or go back to what you were doing before.
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I think this case a lot of people and it also takes a lot of courage to take that call.
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Yeah, and I just want to say like that pendulum for me swung like it was heavy career and
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then heavy family.
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And when I was in that career, I felt like I was failing as a parent.
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And then when I was in that like the opposite end where I was heavily into family, I felt
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like I was failing from a like a career financial perspective and now it's just like rebalancing
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the two.
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So yeah, I just wanted to share.
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Yeah, to just you for balancing.
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Just because it's it's never an easy thing.
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Coming to the topic of divorce.
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How did you navigate with the kids into the picture and breaking the news to them and
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making them understand and their innocence straightforward questions are one of the toughest
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I believe.
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So appreciate your experience.
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Yeah, and at that time there's it's funny because when we decided to get divorced, I
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wasn't making any money. I was fully into family mode.
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I was a stay at home mom.
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I was homeschooling my kids.
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We had such a great relationship.
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And I don't remember actually ever sitting down and having a conversation with our kids.
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We just sort of talked about it in our day to day like mommy's not going to live here
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anymore.
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And this is what our next few months are going to be like.
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And you know, we've decided we don't want to be married together or be married anymore.
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But we're still a family and we still like I was very lucky.
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My ex husband and I had a very amicable divorce separation.
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We always, you know, wanted to do what was best for the kids and our family.
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And like I continue to want him to thrive and he continues to want me to thrive.
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And so it's not to say we haven't had our moments and our times, but I feel like the
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bulk of the bulk of that was actually before we made the decision.
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And then when we made the decision, it was like a weight lifted off of both of us.
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And we actually stayed living together for another five or six months after the decision
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was made.
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We didn't tell anyone.
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We just sort of needed to sort of sit in it and like what did that look like, you know,
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for me, one of the scariest things up until that decision was not having an income.
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And then and then putting a plan in place.
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And what happened when I moved out is I had really wanted to travel.
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So I actually cashed in some savings and went on a five month trip to figure out what I
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wanted to do with my life.
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Because at that point, I was like, okay, if I stay here, I feel like I need to rent an
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apartment and get a job and I had zero desire to go back into that hustle.
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And I had really wanted to travel and I really had wanted to continue this homeschooling life
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and this slow life with my kids and and earn money somehow doing that.
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So I wanted to travel and go figure this out and ask everybody along the way.
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So when it came to telling the kids, it was I was moving out.
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And I was taking them on vacate like I was going on vacation for three months with my
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kids.
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So it was, you know, this was we just sort of laid out the plan for the next like five
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or six months.
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He said, you know what, you're going to be with mommy and Costa Rica for two months.
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And then we actually did a fail like all four of us in Mexico visiting his parents for Christmas.
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We wanted to spend Christmas together.
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And then I continued on to Bali after Christmas and they came back to Canada and with full
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time with their dad and and back into the public school system.
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So we just sort of it wasn't a big deal conversation.
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We just said, this is this is our plan for the next five or six months.
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And after that, we don't know.
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And we'll continue to talk about all the feelings that come up.
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We'll continue to talk about what the plan is when we know.
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But you know, we're going to go on this adventure for for five months and we're going to have
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fun in Costa Rica.
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We're going to have fun in Mexico.
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And then they're going to go experiment with living with daddy full time because at that
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time I was a stay at home mom and he worked a lot.
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So he had sort of checked out as a parent, which I think is kind of common in a lot of
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like where the mom stays at home.
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And the dad just feels like he has to work and work and work to support the family.
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And I really feel like that was a really great chance for him to I'll say sink or swim.
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Like that was he was because I really do feel that if I was around, he would have leaned
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on me a lot.
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And that that wouldn't have been good.
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Like he needed to learn how he wanted to parent and show up.
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So we just kind of, you know, even to this day, like I still don't have a permanent home.
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I've lived with my kids in Bali.
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They're back with their dad right now.
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I still see them, but it's just sort of this influx state and it's been two years now.
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And we just, you know, let them know as we know what to expect.
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And I think when we let them know what to expect, I think they're not surprised by anything,
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right?
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They're just like, you know, they're not surprised by the safety and knowing what to expect.
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And then there's been the conscious effort to stay connected because we're doing parenting
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so differently.
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And because there's international travel involved, like I just had the kids for six months in
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Bali earlier this year, and they talk to their dad every day, like they video chat
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at him every day.
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And when I've been away, they video chat me and it's a different sort of relationship,
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but it's still maintaining that, that connection.
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Like they've never felt from what I can tell, like abandoned by either of us.
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Yeah.
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I think that's beautiful when you are so open and give them also the space and you also
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the space to, you know, amicably move around and try to figure out the new dynamics of
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the family.
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What was the toughest question your kids have asked about divorce?
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I can't, you know what's coming to mind is for about a year or more, my son, you know,
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if I drop him off at his dad's, like, why don't you stay?
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Like when are you coming back home?
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Like it was almost like he was never like overly upset, but he was like stopping ridiculous
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mom.
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Of course, you're moving back in here.
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Like when it's like, when are you like stop playing around?
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So that's been, and it's funny because he doesn't do that with his dad.
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I've asked him like, is he talking about me coming back here?
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It's like, no, he's never mentioned it, but with me, he's like basically mom, like stop
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playing around to move back in here.
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Like when are you coming home?
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But apart from that, it's been, it's been, there hasn't been anything because we haven't
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made a big deal about it and there hasn't been a lot of tension.
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So I really feel like from their perspective, it's just, yeah, the hardest things are to
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navigate have been truthfully when, you know, when we were been away for six months and
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they've missed their dad, right?
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Like those are big or when I've been away for a couple of months and haven't seen them
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and they miss me.
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Like those are the harder, harder things to navigate.
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Okay.
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So you said you homeschooled and you have also sent your kids to the conventional schooling
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system as well.
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So I would love to know this, why the switch and, you know, and how hard was it to homeschooling?
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Yeah, the switch, I think I always like love the idea of homeschooling, but I never would
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have done it had it not been forced.
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And I would say forced through the pandemic, like it got really bad in the public school
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system here for my daughter.
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Her stress levels were through the roof and it was like, there was an immediate decision
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that needed to be made.
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Everything was very wrong and we, she couldn't articulate it.
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She was only, I think she was like six at the time.
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And we just, we made a decision to pull her out.
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So it was very last minute unplanned.
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Then I was just like, okay, I, because her mental state, like because she was so stressed
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out and anxious, I really needed to prioritize that in the beginning.
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And that's when I put sort of work on hold for a little bit.
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And it was like, I need to sort this out.
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And for the first month, maybe month and a half, I didn't do any academics with them.
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I just prioritize calming her nervous system.
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And that was hard because we were so conditioned, like even her, I remember her first day of
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homeschooling, she's like, I'm not learning.
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Can we keep learning?
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And I'm like, everything's learning.
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I was like, trying to be really chill because I didn't want it to be super structured in
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the beginning because, because of her, her nervous system and her mental state.
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And she was really stressed out about like, what's next?
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What's next?
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Like that conditioning of just like the school system of just like, go, go, go, keep, keep
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going, keep going, one after the other.
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And you know, for the first bit of homeschooling, like sort of after that period, I was like,
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oh, you know, like, let's just go off of what they're interested in.
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So if we'll ask a question, if they'll ask a question, like, you know, what's the difference
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between a butterfly and a moth?
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Like that's really good questions at that age.
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So then we would go to the library and research it.
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We would watch videos on it.
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We would, I would get them to write in their notebooks about like a just sort of structured
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it around what they were interested in learning and sort of built the other pieces into it.
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And then I realized that they loved that, but I didn't love planning all that.
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I was not a teacher.
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I didn't want to be doing like lesson planning after they went to bed.
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I wanted to be working on my business and doing other things.
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So it was really this evolution of different trial and errors.
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I ended up finding a curriculum that I absolutely loved out of the U.S.
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And we just focused on basically language and math.
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And I didn't worry about the other stuff because, you know, even things like, like science and
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environment, I felt like as they were asking questions, we were investigating all of that.
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So it wasn't, there was no, I didn't feel the need to put any structure around those
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types of subjects.
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It was really just, I want them to learn how to read.
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I want them to be able to write and I want them to understand math.
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And that was, that was it.
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Tell me about the parenting coach phase.
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So I actually started that business and that line of work a few years before I ended up
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quitting my job.
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So I was doing that in my mornings, in my evenings, in my weekends, teaching workshops
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a few times a year, like nothing major because I really couldn't handle much.
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And then in that first year after I quit my job, which funnily enough was, or funny enough,
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it was like a couple of weeks before the pandemic hit.
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So that year, that year was when I wrote my book, The Positive Parenting Framework.
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And my, the momentum was building in that business and even though I had to shift from
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a pandemic perspective, the book did really well.
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And I like, I wrote a book with two kids home and I was continuing to do that business.
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It was really like probably a year to a year and a, no, I would say like a, probably a
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solid year after I quit my job was really when that business started to, I'll say fall
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apart, but it was really just like life circumstances where it's just pulling my attention elsewhere.
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Like my home, like homeschooling came up and then my, my dad was sick in the hospital and
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my mom couldn't care for him properly.
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So I was taking care of my parents for a period too.
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And it was just like life just kept throwing me these things that, that, you know, I felt
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like a failure at the time because I'm like, I wrote a book with two kids home.
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Like I should be able to handle all this.
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I should be able to do it.
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But it was just like life was throwing these things at me and that was just like, stop
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your career, stop everything, like, like just put this on hold.
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And it was like, I'll say like life just like beat that business out of me.
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And it just, it, it felt like my creativity died for it.
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My inspiration died.
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Like it, and I like, yeah, I beat myself up a lot about that.
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But that business was my baby.
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I loved, like, I loved doing that until I didn't.
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And then I had to let go of that, you know, a quote unquote failure.
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And I was like, like, that was really hard to let go of.
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That was probably a year and a half later that I let go of, that I formally let go of
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it because it was, it just needed to go, but I was hanging onto it because it was something
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I wanted, you know, as someone who has always been successful in whatever she tried it,
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it just felt like, you know, I had to make it successful, but it just, it wasn't coming
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easy.
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It wasn't fun.
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It felt more heavy.
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Was it your passionate project?
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I was so attached to it and, and it did good for a while.
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Like I loved teaching.
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I loved helping parents.
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I was inspired by what was going on in my own life with my kids and what I was learning
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and I was happy sharing.
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Now I can look back at that particular business as a really great foundation for the business
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I'm doing now.
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So I didn't see that at the time because I was literally like saying goodbye to that
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business as I was saying goodbye to my marriage and starting to travel and being like, what
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am I doing with my life?
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It was just sort of all at the same time.
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And so I didn't know what was next for me.
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So everything felt like it was crumbling around me, even though I was headed on this vacation
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and this exploration, it was just like everything in my life was crumbling around me and I didn't
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know what I was walking into.
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How about these transitions?
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Did it take an emotional toll on you?
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Yeah, such big transitions, a lot of them all at once.
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I mean, I've definitely had my moments of what am I doing with my life, sobbing by myself,
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but I had done enough personal development stuff by that point and then I continue to
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do a lot.
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I've done a lot more in the last couple of years.
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And so I knew how to sit with my emotions.
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I knew even from teaching parenting that one of the best ways through all of the emotional
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outbursts from our kids is just let that wave, just let it crash over you and just wait for
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it to, yeah, just wait for it to go.
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And so I was able to sit with a lot of my fears and I understood that fear likes to
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be general, which means that if you start to ask your fear questions and try to get really
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specific about what is bringing up the fear in you, it just kind of either fades away
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or that problem in front of you becomes really, really manageable.
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So for a big decision, walking away from a marriage or even just going into the unknown
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of traveling, what specifically was I afraid of for the travel piece?
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Really what it came down to is I would look like an idiot.
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I would lose some money, but I also knew that at any point along that process, I could change
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my mind and come back and get a job.
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There was always these ways of going back and I'm not necessarily saying I could go
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back to that marriage, but what was the security pieces of that marriage?
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And to me, the security piece was really like we stayed together for a while after we really
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should have ended it because of finances.
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And we had this conversation because we valued homeschooling the kids, we valued how we were
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raising them.
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And we didn't see another way to do this without being together financially.
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I couldn't afford a place.
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He couldn't afford to pay for a second place in terms of like spousal support and all that
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stuff.
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So it was just really like getting specific about what it was that I was afraid of and
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then not being afraid of all of the emotions that come up because the emotions that come
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up, the self-criticism that comes up, all of the limiting beliefs, they're just coming
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up and I understand this better now.
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They're coming up because you're ready to move through them and you're ready to heal
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them and they're not going to consume you.
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So I can sit now in a puddle of just like what am I doing with my life and know that
392
00:28:40,320 --> 00:28:45,880
it will pass in an hour or a few days.
393
00:28:45,880 --> 00:28:51,280
So you can start to learn how to really feel it all and understand that it's not really
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you.
395
00:28:52,280 --> 00:28:54,800
It's just this part of you that you're moving.
396
00:28:54,800 --> 00:29:00,080
It's just the thing that you're moving to, but the higher version of yourself is just
397
00:29:00,080 --> 00:29:01,840
like, yeah, this is totally fine.
398
00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:05,640
Just move through it and move on.
399
00:29:05,640 --> 00:29:09,560
So you can kind of get experiencing it and then also observing it.
400
00:29:09,560 --> 00:29:15,360
I love what you said about the fear that it either it fades away or either it becomes
401
00:29:15,360 --> 00:29:16,360
so prominent.
402
00:29:16,360 --> 00:29:17,360
I love that.
403
00:29:17,360 --> 00:29:19,000
That is so true.
404
00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:24,560
Sometimes we just don't want to know what that fear is and we like to live in that fear.
405
00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:30,400
We think that fear comes up because it's meant to stop us and then we just turn and run away.
406
00:29:30,400 --> 00:29:35,720
We're so afraid of feeling fear, of asking it questions and getting specific.
407
00:29:35,720 --> 00:29:39,400
It's fascinating to watch and that like fear is one of the things that I love to talk about
408
00:29:39,400 --> 00:29:46,840
now in my this new version of myself because I see the value in sitting with fear and I
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00:29:46,840 --> 00:29:49,960
see now that fear is just a part of the process.
410
00:29:49,960 --> 00:29:51,840
It's not there to stop you.
411
00:29:51,840 --> 00:29:57,840
It's not there to cause you issues and it's not it cannot be avoided.
412
00:29:57,840 --> 00:30:03,480
And I also believe that the more you suppress, it just becomes a bigger fear of something
413
00:30:03,480 --> 00:30:05,120
which is not known.
414
00:30:05,120 --> 00:30:10,280
It's like unless and until you have to enter the room of fear and see what it is, you just
415
00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:11,280
can't overcome.
416
00:30:11,280 --> 00:30:15,480
No, it'll be there and it'll get louder and louder until you pay attention to it.
417
00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:19,240
So if it's more than we are, we are very good at ignoring it.
418
00:30:19,240 --> 00:30:22,840
So good at ignoring it.
419
00:30:22,840 --> 00:30:23,840
Absolutely.
420
00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:29,960
Okay, let's speak about warm guilt, which is I don't know.
421
00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:36,040
Is it a conditioning of the society which is given to us or we ourselves have grown up
422
00:30:36,040 --> 00:30:37,040
with it.
423
00:30:37,040 --> 00:30:39,800
So we sometimes we don't even feel it's wrong.
424
00:30:39,800 --> 00:30:44,080
We feel we have to take that mom guilt on our head.
425
00:30:44,080 --> 00:30:47,920
Yeah, and I think I think it's a lot of our conditioning.
426
00:30:47,920 --> 00:30:52,440
Now I don't know when that conditioning would have started because like the moms have been
427
00:30:52,440 --> 00:30:56,240
the primary caregiver for young ages.
428
00:30:56,240 --> 00:31:01,760
And how most of us have been brought up it's to prioritize the needs of others or the expectations
429
00:31:01,760 --> 00:31:12,080
of others without honoring what is truly, you know, our own or our perspective or what
430
00:31:12,080 --> 00:31:14,800
is in our best interest.
431
00:31:14,800 --> 00:31:23,840
And I think so much of that is in our conditioning as we're being raised to be good to do what's
432
00:31:23,840 --> 00:31:25,160
expected.
433
00:31:25,160 --> 00:31:34,000
And if you don't, if you sort of break like break the rules or go off script, like you're
434
00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:37,440
bad in some way.
435
00:31:37,440 --> 00:31:43,000
And that translates to every aspect of our life, including our parenting.
436
00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:49,160
Like we're, you know, I looked at, you know, when I was doing the positive parenting coaching
437
00:31:49,160 --> 00:31:56,360
stuff and even before I was so, I felt so suffocated by the messaging that was out there
438
00:31:56,360 --> 00:31:57,360
for moms.
439
00:31:57,360 --> 00:32:03,600
It's like, I remember shopping for a stroller and car seat and it was like all these different
440
00:32:03,600 --> 00:32:07,720
options and it's like, so as not to suffocate the baby or don't leave the baby here too
441
00:32:07,720 --> 00:32:09,520
longer, their head will get flat.
442
00:32:09,520 --> 00:32:12,360
It's just so much like fear based.
443
00:32:12,360 --> 00:32:16,120
I really think that we should just embrace that we are going to screw up our kids in
444
00:32:16,120 --> 00:32:21,200
some way, shape or form, it's just to what degree and how much because you can't, you
445
00:32:21,200 --> 00:32:23,640
can't know how they're perceiving the world.
446
00:32:23,640 --> 00:32:30,680
But my point is, is just we're so, I think we've just been so conditioned to be afraid
447
00:32:30,680 --> 00:32:32,280
or for prioritizing ourselves.
448
00:32:32,280 --> 00:32:35,360
Like what kind of mother prioritizes herself over her kids?
449
00:32:35,360 --> 00:32:37,080
Isn't that selfish?
450
00:32:37,080 --> 00:32:46,000
Like it's, it's just, I think it's the conditioning and it takes a lot of internal work and reflection
451
00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:53,400
and willing to sit with your own stuff and your own beliefs to really move through it.
452
00:32:53,400 --> 00:32:59,360
And I also believe it takes a courage to break, break this mold of, you know, whatever construct
453
00:32:59,360 --> 00:33:00,920
we have been given.
454
00:33:00,920 --> 00:33:05,760
I remember reading this, can't pour from an empty cup.
455
00:33:05,760 --> 00:33:12,120
So when we are depleted and we are, you know, don't have patience, we just can't give our
456
00:33:12,120 --> 00:33:18,480
kids that environment of calmness because your stress, I am glad that it is maybe not
457
00:33:18,480 --> 00:33:23,680
in a larger percentage, but there is some percentage which they have opened up to this.
458
00:33:23,680 --> 00:33:27,280
So it's, it's a good change, I believe.
459
00:33:27,280 --> 00:33:28,280
Yeah.
460
00:33:28,280 --> 00:33:32,160
And you know what, with that cup thing, I heard something recently of like, you can't
461
00:33:32,160 --> 00:33:36,960
give to someone else unless your cup is overflowing.
462
00:33:36,960 --> 00:33:42,080
And that I thought was like a really different perspective because I've certainly heard like
463
00:33:42,080 --> 00:33:49,520
from an empty cup, but yeah, if your cup is not full, then you can't share that like joy
464
00:33:49,520 --> 00:33:56,000
and abundance with, with anyone else because you're not filled up.
465
00:33:56,000 --> 00:33:59,360
And so you're going to come at it from even a slightly depleted place.
466
00:33:59,360 --> 00:34:00,360
It's interesting.
467
00:34:00,360 --> 00:34:03,160
It's interesting, these little analogies to think about.
468
00:34:03,160 --> 00:34:04,160
Yeah.
469
00:34:04,160 --> 00:34:05,160
Yeah, it's true.
470
00:34:05,160 --> 00:34:10,120
Lastly, tell me about your biggest challenge.
471
00:34:10,120 --> 00:34:15,000
You know what, the biggest thing for me, I mean, we all have limiting beliefs and they're
472
00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:18,360
all, you know, they're ours to deal with.
473
00:34:18,360 --> 00:34:24,960
But one of the big things that came up for me was this, leaving my kids.
474
00:34:24,960 --> 00:34:31,960
But when I started traveling by myself for two months was my first trip without my kids.
475
00:34:31,960 --> 00:34:36,360
The guilt, the guilt that came up.
476
00:34:36,360 --> 00:34:37,520
How can you leave your kids?
477
00:34:37,520 --> 00:34:41,960
What kind of mother leaves her kids?
478
00:34:41,960 --> 00:34:49,040
And then when I came back from that trip, I knew that I was not coming back to settle
479
00:34:49,040 --> 00:34:50,040
down.
480
00:34:50,040 --> 00:34:54,120
I was not coming back to get a house or a home.
481
00:34:54,120 --> 00:35:00,320
I was coming back and I was going to be staying with my parents for, I think, five months and
482
00:35:00,320 --> 00:35:02,760
I could feel that in my intuition.
483
00:35:02,760 --> 00:35:06,640
And all of this has been driven by intuition, which we haven't mentioned, but that's important
484
00:35:06,640 --> 00:35:11,680
because it's been this very strong intuitive pull this whole time.
485
00:35:11,680 --> 00:35:16,240
And to prioritize that, like I remember, I'm like, what kind of mom doesn't have a home
486
00:35:16,240 --> 00:35:18,400
for her kids?
487
00:35:18,400 --> 00:35:23,200
What kind of mom is, like, it's just, yeah.
488
00:35:23,200 --> 00:35:28,720
And I know that is not going to be perhaps relatable to a lot of people listening, but
489
00:35:28,720 --> 00:35:36,000
we do have this sort of script running in the background of our minds of judging ourselves
490
00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:46,000
for, and whether we're a good mom or not, for me to prioritize myself and my intuition
491
00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:54,160
and what was pulling me and lighting me up over from external appearances and even from
492
00:35:54,160 --> 00:36:00,760
my perspective for a while over what was best for my kids.
493
00:36:00,760 --> 00:36:05,680
That was something that I really needed to work through.
494
00:36:05,680 --> 00:36:11,960
And we see this on smaller scales of just even like taking a day to yourself or asking
495
00:36:11,960 --> 00:36:16,080
for help and just like parking your butt on the couch and saying, I'm going to take a
496
00:36:16,080 --> 00:36:17,080
lazy day.
497
00:36:17,080 --> 00:36:22,040
Like, I could not do that before.
498
00:36:22,040 --> 00:36:24,240
I could not.
499
00:36:24,240 --> 00:36:28,000
It was really hard because I was just like, I need to just be in this go, go, go.
500
00:36:28,000 --> 00:36:29,680
There's so much to do.
501
00:36:29,680 --> 00:36:31,480
And I just couldn't rest.
502
00:36:31,480 --> 00:36:32,480
I couldn't.
503
00:36:32,480 --> 00:36:35,480
Like, I just had such a hard time with that.
504
00:36:35,480 --> 00:36:43,800
And what I have learned is that my kids get to witness me prioritizing myself, which also
505
00:36:43,800 --> 00:36:47,160
gives them permission to prioritize themselves.
506
00:36:47,160 --> 00:36:48,160
Yeah.
507
00:36:48,160 --> 00:36:49,160
Yeah, it's true.
508
00:36:49,160 --> 00:36:50,160
Okay, Lindsay.
509
00:36:50,160 --> 00:36:54,480
Thank you so much for your time and it was lovely having you.
510
00:36:54,480 --> 00:36:55,800
Thank you so much for having me.
511
00:36:55,800 --> 00:36:58,440
I've really, thoroughly enjoyed this conversation.
512
00:36:58,440 --> 00:37:04,240
Thank you for listening to this episode of Discovering Journeys.
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00:37:04,240 --> 00:37:08,320
I would love for this podcast to reach as many people as possible.
514
00:37:08,320 --> 00:37:13,480
So please remember to subscribe, rate and leave a positive review.
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00:37:13,480 --> 00:37:18,160
Share this podcast with someone you think who would appreciate this conversation.
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00:37:18,160 --> 00:37:21,760
Check out the show notes for all the links and details.
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00:37:21,760 --> 00:37:47,960
Until next time, keep embracing your journey and discovering new paths.
