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Welcome to Coping with Ghosting, the show that provides hope, healing, and understanding for anyone who has been ghosted.
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I'm your host, Gretta, and today I'm interviewing Tina Gilbertson, who is a psychotherapist, author, and co-founder of the Reconnection Club, which is an education and support website for parents seeking to reconnect with their estranged adult children.
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Tina is also the host of the Reconnection Club podcast, a show dedicated to helping parents understand and address common issues in estrangement.
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Welcome to the podcast, Tina.
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Thank you so much, Gretta.
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It's great to be with you and thank you for this podcast.
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Thank you.
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I invited you here because I have been approached by parents who ask me what to do when their children ghost them.
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And I always suggest that they join the Reconnection Club.
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Today I want to hold a space for you to share what your work is all about.
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But first, I wonder what are a few reasons why adult children estrange themselves from their parents?
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That's an interesting question.
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And I think it's probably a little bit different from some of the reasons why people ghost their dates, their friends, and so on.
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We do have some research on parent-adult child estrangement that points to contributing factors like uh financial conflicts, in-law problems, different values, infertility issues.
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I mean, there's just tons of different factors that seem to go into relationship problems between adult children and their parents, but it seems that it seems pretty clear that what it comes down to is the adult child feeling in some way not either loved or accepted for who they are by the parent.
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And when I say that, parents are horrified because they feel like they love and accept their children, and they cannot figure out how this disconnect happened between how I feel for my child and what's coming across.
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So, but there is some kind of disconnect, apparently, if the adult child is feeling that way.
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So, I mean, much of my work is in helping parents understand how could this have happened if you're not a terrible parent and you, you know, you're not abusive, you're there, there are some parents who do abuse, but they are not the only ones who get ghosted by adult children.
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There are, I've seen all kinds of parents, including quite conscientious parents, who really, really wanted to do the right thing, and they end up with estranged adult children.
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So there doesn't seem to be a perfect uh correlation between like being a terrible parent and your risk of being estranged at all.
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I can only imagine how hard that must be for those parents, especially when they've given their all and they've done everything they possibly could to support love and nurture their children.
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It's just exactly heartbreaking.
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And you were saying it's gutting, it's just awful.
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Yeah, there is that.
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The parent knows how much they've sacrificed, how much they've done for their children.
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It's not always as clear on the receiving end what's going on for the parent.
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And so it feels often quite um not only confusing, but deeply unfair, especially if the parent has given their own parent a lot of leeway and a lot of grace.
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You know, they're like, gosh, my mother is 10 times worse than I was to my kids, and and I have never cut her off.
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Why is this happening to me?
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How why am I so bad?
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Or you know, it just doesn't seem right.
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It's completely unfair.
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Yeah, it feels exactly unfair.
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In your online platform, you have a reconnection club roadmap, and this offers ways for parents to facilitate reconnection with their estranged adult child or children.
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Can you briefly summarize the three steps within this roadmap and explain why each one is so important?
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Sure.
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Well, it really begins with resting and recovery, which is counterintuitive because you think you rest at the end, right?
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You do all this work and then you get to rest.
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No, you the first thing you want to do if you're in shock about, especially if you're in shock about what your child is doing, is to just pause and breathe and take stock of where you are.
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And some sometimes, if you've had, especially if you have trauma in your history or you've had a difficult past or you've been hurt a lot before, those old wounds are going to be reopened by your child taking distance now or or you know being angry at you or accusing you of things, those old wounds can reopen.
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And so it's really, really important to just be still and kind to yourself and just find self-compassion rather than um impulsively trying to take action to fix this problem, which is what I think most of us do when we have a problem, an important problem in our lives.
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It's like, what do we do?
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How do we fix this?
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What you know, I need to do something right away.
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So the opposite of that is I'm gonna just take a breather, be still, uh, and take stock.
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But once you have done a lot of that and you've started to heal from some of the wounds that underlie, that perhaps underlie this current hurt, then you move into a the step two, which is research and review.
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That's where you start to educate yourself about what are these kinds of things that get between parents and adult children, because ultimately it's it's important to understand that people do not uh ghost their parents on a whim.
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They don't do it lightly, they don't do it casually.
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It's a very big deal for most people.
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I mean, we we have research on this, and and and I have personal experience talking to people who have made this decision, and it's really tough on the adult child to make this decision, and it's really kind of the best of the worst options that they see for themselves.
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So step two is about gently coming to understand that there are reasons why this is happening, that those reasons have to be taken as valid.
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Uh, because for healing to happen and repair to happen in that relationship, those reasons have to be addressed.
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So that's the work of step two.
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There's a lot of education, a lot of people, most of us, you know, we have the luxury of not really having to understand necessarily a lot about family dynamics or the way people get hurt in relationships.
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We just can go along and trust that the people we love love us back, even if we're not perfect.
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Uh, but when something like this happens and you're suddenly finding yourself minus a child or two uh who's not talking to you, then you're given a choice.
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Do I try to educate myself about this, or do I sit and wait to see if my child changes his mind or her mind?
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So step two is about choosing to gather information uh and and really stock up on ideas about what might have gone wrong and how to address that.
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And step three is then to take step one and step two, and all of the resources that you have gathered, and all of the calm that you've attained, and the healing that's starting to happen, that's when you start to reach out to repair and reconnect from a place of having a somewhat fuller emotional bucket.
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You know, you've taken the time in step one to really uh get some of what you need, whether it's therapy, compassion from a close friend or your partner, or you know, you've really kind of stocked up on the good stuff, the resources that are going to strengthen you, and you've stocked up on enough information that you have some ideas of what's needed.
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Now, in step three, you put all of that to use in reaching out and letting your child know, I get it, I appreciate that you needed to step away.
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Here's what I understand about that.
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And I want to show up differently in our relationship so that we can both enjoy being together.
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Wow, that's brilliant.
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And I love how you created this comprehensive plan.
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I think that this framework gives parents a sense of control when everything is out of control because they know, okay, this is what I have to do now.
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And I've heard in your podcast when you went over this that if you do it out of order, that's okay too.
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I if I mean, I think parents will do it out of order because they're gonna want to start at step three and start reaching out and doing things and writing apology letters, and all this stuff is right where they want to start.
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I think ultimately you're going to have to go back.
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If you start at step three, you're going to have to go back to step two.
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You may need to also go back to step one at some point.
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Um, the successful uh reconciliations that I see do, I mean, this is where these steps come from.
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Is this what I see is parents starting in with themselves and healing on the inside or starting that process, which takes courage in a lot of cases, and then moving into taking their time learning before reaching out.
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If you don't have the foundation and you start reaching out, then not only might you kind of waste your time and set the clock back if the person just really needs more time, but you could actually do further damage because you haven't taken the time to regulate your own nervous system, get the information you need.
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You know, you may be reaching out from a from a place of desperation or hurt yourself or anger.
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Uh, so I do recommend, even though it's completely the opposite of what you want to do on some level, I do recommend starting step one and staying there as long as you can until you move to step two.
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I love it.
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Thank you for clarifying that.
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Do many parents eventually reconnect with their estranged children?
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I have every reason to believe that yes, many parents do.
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First of all, I regularly hear from parents who have managed to reconnect.
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And also, we it it appears from what we from the research that we do have, and it's ongoing, it appears that most estrangements are temporary.
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Most of them do come to an end.
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Wow.
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And from what I have seen, uh, nobody knows for sure, but from what I have seen, it seems to me that the estrangements that are lifelong that that kind of go on forever are estrangements in which the parent has no idea what happened or what they can do to make repairs, and so they do nothing.
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And they wait to see if the adult child maybe changes her mind or his mind.
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And you know, that that could just nothing could move for a lifetime.
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But if if the parent, I mean, parents have a lot of power, both personally and in the relationship with their children.
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When you raise somebody for 18 years and you're the voice of authority in their lives, you you carry power whether you mean to or not.
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And it's not necessarily power over, it's the kind of power that you know, you see somebody walking down the street in a uniform, uh, a police uniform or military uniform.
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And, you know, people have different feelings about those uniforms that they see.
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But many people, when they look at somebody in a uniform, they they see some sort of something bigger than just the human who's in the uniform.
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The person who's wearing the uniform may be feeling small and scared and uncertain.
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But the person on the outside looking at them in the uniform might see authority, they might see strength, they might see aggression, they might see all kinds of things that have more to do with the uniform than the person wearing it.
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And being a parent is kind of like you're wearing a parent uniform in the eyes of your children, and they respond to that.
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So you for a lifetime, you will always be wearing that parent suit for your kids, and that you know, that can that carries some weight, and it can be used for good.
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That impact that it has.
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Wow, that is such a great way to think about it.
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I love it.
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That's really helpful and hopeful to hear, knowing that there is a chance, that there's a great chance that there can be reunification for both the parent and the child.
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Yes, I think that one of the biggest hurdles for parents is not realizing how much of an influence they can and do have and in the relationship, that they really do have the power to set a different tone for a relationship that's gone a little bit off the rails.
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Yeah.
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Tina, your podcast ends in such a beautiful way.
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You say, remember that you are a loving, lovable, and still growing human being.
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So please take care of yourself.
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And I want to leave our listeners with a message of hope as well.
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Do you have anything you'd like to say to soothe the hearts and minds of anyone going through this?
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Yes.
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First of all, don't confuse today with forever.
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This is a process that you and your child are going through, a phase of your relationship, most likely.
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And just like you don't have to be a terrible person to find yourself ghosted by a date or a friend, you don't have to be a terrible parent or even a below average parent to find yourself in this position of having an estranged adult child.
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If there are problems in the relationship, please assume that you do have some power to make positive changes because you almost certainly do.
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And there's help available for you to try to figure it out, even if you feel like powerless, you know, like there's really nothing you can do.
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How can I fix this if my child won't talk to me?
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That's a question I get a lot.
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There is so much you can do.
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As the roadmap indicates, steps one and two have nothing to do with the adult child at all.
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There's so much parents can do, uh, just using themselves as a tool for growth.
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So do seek help, do seek information.
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Listening to this podcast is a great start.
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Um, and Greta, I just so appreciate that you started a podcast about ghosting, because I do think this is a widespread issue in our society that needs to be addressed and that deserves attention.
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Thank you for saying that.
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Tina, finally, how can our listeners connect with you?
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I would love for them to begin by reading my book, Reconnecting with Your Estrange Adult Child.
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You don't have to buy it, you can get it from your local library.
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If they don't have it, they can order it.
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But that's a that's really the best place to start because it gives you a sense.
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I mean, it may be, I would like to think it could be all that you need to figure out what to do vis-a-vis your child, but it'll also give you a sense of my approach and the reconnection club approach.
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And then the podcast, the reconnection club podcast, is free.
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You can look, you can find it in any podcast player app.
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And that just, you know, I talk about little bite-sized ideas in the podcast, but I mean the book and the podcast combined will give you lots and lots of information.
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So those are the best ways to begin to kind of take in the kind of material that I'm putting out.
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And then if you feel like you'd like even more support and you'd like to access the materials that I have built for the Reconnection Club Library, uh, we have expert interviews on specific topics like adoption and estrangement, mother-daughter relationships, things like that, and also a community, uh, a moderated community where you can talk to other parents, then please feel free to join the Reconnection Club at reconnectionclub.com.
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But lastly, if I may, I would just like to say that before you do anything, anything at all, if you have trauma in your history, if you had a difficult childhood, if you experienced abuse or neglect, please don't underestimate the impact of that on your quality of life and your relationships.
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If you haven't had trauma-focused treatment for childhood injuries, I would absolutely do that as a first order of business.
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That's where I would put all of my focus and energy and time.
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Thank you for that.
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Tina, having you on this show is incredible.
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And I'm just so grateful that you've been here and you're really just helping so many people.
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I'm so grateful that you're showing so much support to all the parents out there who wish to reconnect with their estranged adult children.
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Thank you, Grinna.
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It's really a privilege to be on your show, and I wish you all the best.
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Thank you so much for your time.
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Hello, everyone.
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I hope you enjoyed this show.
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If you have a question about being ghosted that you want me to answer in an upcoming joint episode with the Ghost Podcast, please send me an email at copingwithghosting at gmail.com.
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And if you have been ghosted and you want one on one coaching, please visit my website copingwithghosting.com to set up a free 15 minute intro call so I can learn more about your specific situation.
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And finally, be sure to remember when you are ghosted, You have more time to connect with yourself and people who have stellar communication skills.
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You truly deserve the best.
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Welcome to Coping with Ghosting, the show that provides hope, healing, and understanding for anyone who has been ghosted.
00:00:24.399 --> 00:00:43.920
I'm your host, Gretta, and today I'm interviewing Tina Gilbertson, who is a psychotherapist, author, and co-founder of the Reconnection Club, which is an education and support website for parents seeking to reconnect with their estranged adult children.
00:00:43.920 --> 00:00:54.479
Tina is also the host of the Reconnection Club podcast, a show dedicated to helping parents understand and address common issues in estrangement.
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Welcome to the podcast, Tina.
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Thank you so much, Gretta.
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It's great to be with you and thank you for this podcast.
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Thank you.
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I invited you here because I have been approached by parents who ask me what to do when their children ghost them.
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And I always suggest that they join the Reconnection Club.
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Today I want to hold a space for you to share what your work is all about.
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But first, I wonder what are a few reasons why adult children estrange themselves from their parents?
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That's an interesting question.
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And I think it's probably a little bit different from some of the reasons why people ghost their dates, their friends, and so on.
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We do have some research on parent-adult child estrangement that points to contributing factors like uh financial conflicts, in-law problems, different values, infertility issues.
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I mean, there's just tons of different factors that seem to go into relationship problems between adult children and their parents, but it seems that it seems pretty clear that what it comes down to is the adult child feeling in some way not either loved or accepted for who they are by the parent.
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And when I say that, parents are horrified because they feel like they love and accept their children, and they cannot figure out how this disconnect happened between how I feel for my child and what's coming across.
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So, but there is some kind of disconnect, apparently, if the adult child is feeling that way.
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So, I mean, much of my work is in helping parents understand how could this have happened if you're not a terrible parent and you, you know, you're not abusive, you're there, there are some parents who do abuse, but they are not the only ones who get ghosted by adult children.
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There are, I've seen all kinds of parents, including quite conscientious parents, who really, really wanted to do the right thing, and they end up with estranged adult children.
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So there doesn't seem to be a perfect uh correlation between like being a terrible parent and your risk of being estranged at all.
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I can only imagine how hard that must be for those parents, especially when they've given their all and they've done everything they possibly could to support love and nurture their children.
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It's just exactly heartbreaking.
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And you were saying it's gutting, it's just awful.
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Yeah, there is that.
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The parent knows how much they've sacrificed, how much they've done for their children.
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It's not always as clear on the receiving end what's going on for the parent.
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And so it feels often quite um not only confusing, but deeply unfair, especially if the parent has given their own parent a lot of leeway and a lot of grace.
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You know, they're like, gosh, my mother is 10 times worse than I was to my kids, and and I have never cut her off.
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Why is this happening to me?
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How why am I so bad?
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Or you know, it just doesn't seem right.
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It's completely unfair.
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Yeah, it feels exactly unfair.
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In your online platform, you have a reconnection club roadmap, and this offers ways for parents to facilitate reconnection with their estranged adult child or children.
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Can you briefly summarize the three steps within this roadmap and explain why each one is so important?
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Sure.
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Well, it really begins with resting and recovery, which is counterintuitive because you think you rest at the end, right?
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You do all this work and then you get to rest.
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No, you the first thing you want to do if you're in shock about, especially if you're in shock about what your child is doing, is to just pause and breathe and take stock of where you are.
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And some sometimes, if you've had, especially if you have trauma in your history or you've had a difficult past or you've been hurt a lot before, those old wounds are going to be reopened by your child taking distance now or or you know being angry at you or accusing you of things, those old wounds can reopen.
00:05:46.639 --> 00:06:07.439
And so it's really, really important to just be still and kind to yourself and just find self-compassion rather than um impulsively trying to take action to fix this problem, which is what I think most of us do when we have a problem, an important problem in our lives.
00:06:07.439 --> 00:06:08.240
It's like, what do we do?
00:06:08.240 --> 00:06:09.199
How do we fix this?
00:06:09.199 --> 00:06:11.439
What you know, I need to do something right away.
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So the opposite of that is I'm gonna just take a breather, be still, uh, and take stock.
00:06:20.240 --> 00:06:38.000
But once you have done a lot of that and you've started to heal from some of the wounds that underlie, that perhaps underlie this current hurt, then you move into a the step two, which is research and review.
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That's where you start to educate yourself about what are these kinds of things that get between parents and adult children, because ultimately it's it's important to understand that people do not uh ghost their parents on a whim.
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They don't do it lightly, they don't do it casually.
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It's a very big deal for most people.
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I mean, we we have research on this, and and and I have personal experience talking to people who have made this decision, and it's really tough on the adult child to make this decision, and it's really kind of the best of the worst options that they see for themselves.
00:07:18.240 --> 00:07:30.959
So step two is about gently coming to understand that there are reasons why this is happening, that those reasons have to be taken as valid.
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Uh, because for healing to happen and repair to happen in that relationship, those reasons have to be addressed.
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So that's the work of step two.
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There's a lot of education, a lot of people, most of us, you know, we have the luxury of not really having to understand necessarily a lot about family dynamics or the way people get hurt in relationships.
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We just can go along and trust that the people we love love us back, even if we're not perfect.
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Uh, but when something like this happens and you're suddenly finding yourself minus a child or two uh who's not talking to you, then you're given a choice.
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Do I try to educate myself about this, or do I sit and wait to see if my child changes his mind or her mind?
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So step two is about choosing to gather information uh and and really stock up on ideas about what might have gone wrong and how to address that.
00:08:31.839 --> 00:08:53.279
And step three is then to take step one and step two, and all of the resources that you have gathered, and all of the calm that you've attained, and the healing that's starting to happen, that's when you start to reach out to repair and reconnect from a place of having a somewhat fuller emotional bucket.
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You know, you've taken the time in step one to really uh get some of what you need, whether it's therapy, compassion from a close friend or your partner, or you know, you've really kind of stocked up on the good stuff, the resources that are going to strengthen you, and you've stocked up on enough information that you have some ideas of what's needed.
00:09:16.080 --> 00:09:27.200
Now, in step three, you put all of that to use in reaching out and letting your child know, I get it, I appreciate that you needed to step away.
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Here's what I understand about that.
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And I want to show up differently in our relationship so that we can both enjoy being together.
00:09:40.000 --> 00:09:42.480
Wow, that's brilliant.
00:09:42.480 --> 00:09:47.679
And I love how you created this comprehensive plan.
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I think that this framework gives parents a sense of control when everything is out of control because they know, okay, this is what I have to do now.
00:10:00.960 --> 00:10:10.639
And I've heard in your podcast when you went over this that if you do it out of order, that's okay too.
00:10:11.039 --> 00:10:23.440
I if I mean, I think parents will do it out of order because they're gonna want to start at step three and start reaching out and doing things and writing apology letters, and all this stuff is right where they want to start.
00:10:23.440 --> 00:10:26.720
I think ultimately you're going to have to go back.
00:10:26.720 --> 00:10:29.919
If you start at step three, you're going to have to go back to step two.
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You may need to also go back to step one at some point.
00:10:33.440 --> 00:10:41.120
Um, the successful uh reconciliations that I see do, I mean, this is where these steps come from.
00:10:41.120 --> 00:10:56.240
Is this what I see is parents starting in with themselves and healing on the inside or starting that process, which takes courage in a lot of cases, and then moving into taking their time learning before reaching out.
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If you don't have the foundation and you start reaching out, then not only might you kind of waste your time and set the clock back if the person just really needs more time, but you could actually do further damage because you haven't taken the time to regulate your own nervous system, get the information you need.
00:11:16.799 --> 00:11:22.799
You know, you may be reaching out from a from a place of desperation or hurt yourself or anger.
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Uh, so I do recommend, even though it's completely the opposite of what you want to do on some level, I do recommend starting step one and staying there as long as you can until you move to step two.
00:11:36.960 --> 00:11:37.840
I love it.
00:11:37.840 --> 00:11:39.919
Thank you for clarifying that.
00:11:39.919 --> 00:11:44.879
Do many parents eventually reconnect with their estranged children?
00:11:45.679 --> 00:11:49.919
I have every reason to believe that yes, many parents do.
00:11:49.919 --> 00:11:55.679
First of all, I regularly hear from parents who have managed to reconnect.
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And also, we it it appears from what we from the research that we do have, and it's ongoing, it appears that most estrangements are temporary.
00:12:05.440 --> 00:12:07.679
Most of them do come to an end.
00:12:07.679 --> 00:12:08.080
Wow.
00:12:08.080 --> 00:12:29.440
And from what I have seen, uh, nobody knows for sure, but from what I have seen, it seems to me that the estrangements that are lifelong that that kind of go on forever are estrangements in which the parent has no idea what happened or what they can do to make repairs, and so they do nothing.
00:12:29.440 --> 00:12:35.200
And they wait to see if the adult child maybe changes her mind or his mind.
00:12:35.200 --> 00:12:41.120
And you know, that that could just nothing could move for a lifetime.
00:12:41.120 --> 00:12:49.279
But if if the parent, I mean, parents have a lot of power, both personally and in the relationship with their children.
00:12:49.279 --> 00:12:58.080
When you raise somebody for 18 years and you're the voice of authority in their lives, you you carry power whether you mean to or not.
00:12:58.080 --> 00:13:10.399
And it's not necessarily power over, it's the kind of power that you know, you see somebody walking down the street in a uniform, uh, a police uniform or military uniform.
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And, you know, people have different feelings about those uniforms that they see.
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But many people, when they look at somebody in a uniform, they they see some sort of something bigger than just the human who's in the uniform.
00:13:23.200 --> 00:13:28.720
The person who's wearing the uniform may be feeling small and scared and uncertain.
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But the person on the outside looking at them in the uniform might see authority, they might see strength, they might see aggression, they might see all kinds of things that have more to do with the uniform than the person wearing it.
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And being a parent is kind of like you're wearing a parent uniform in the eyes of your children, and they respond to that.
00:13:52.240 --> 00:14:04.879
So you for a lifetime, you will always be wearing that parent suit for your kids, and that you know, that can that carries some weight, and it can be used for good.
00:14:04.879 --> 00:14:08.159
That impact that it has.
00:14:08.480 --> 00:14:11.120
Wow, that is such a great way to think about it.
00:14:11.120 --> 00:14:12.080
I love it.
00:14:12.080 --> 00:14:23.440
That's really helpful and hopeful to hear, knowing that there is a chance, that there's a great chance that there can be reunification for both the parent and the child.
00:14:23.919 --> 00:14:41.279
Yes, I think that one of the biggest hurdles for parents is not realizing how much of an influence they can and do have and in the relationship, that they really do have the power to set a different tone for a relationship that's gone a little bit off the rails.
00:14:43.440 --> 00:14:44.080
Yeah.
00:14:44.080 --> 00:14:50.639
Tina, your podcast ends in such a beautiful way.
00:14:50.639 --> 00:14:57.519
You say, remember that you are a loving, lovable, and still growing human being.
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So please take care of yourself.
00:15:00.320 --> 00:15:04.879
And I want to leave our listeners with a message of hope as well.
00:15:04.879 --> 00:15:12.720
Do you have anything you'd like to say to soothe the hearts and minds of anyone going through this?
00:15:12.720 --> 00:15:14.399
Yes.
00:15:14.799 --> 00:15:18.720
First of all, don't confuse today with forever.
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This is a process that you and your child are going through, a phase of your relationship, most likely.
00:15:26.399 --> 00:15:42.399
And just like you don't have to be a terrible person to find yourself ghosted by a date or a friend, you don't have to be a terrible parent or even a below average parent to find yourself in this position of having an estranged adult child.
00:15:42.399 --> 00:15:52.799
If there are problems in the relationship, please assume that you do have some power to make positive changes because you almost certainly do.
00:15:52.799 --> 00:16:04.559
And there's help available for you to try to figure it out, even if you feel like powerless, you know, like there's really nothing you can do.
00:16:04.559 --> 00:16:07.440
How can I fix this if my child won't talk to me?
00:16:07.440 --> 00:16:09.120
That's a question I get a lot.
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There is so much you can do.
00:16:11.440 --> 00:16:17.120
As the roadmap indicates, steps one and two have nothing to do with the adult child at all.
00:16:17.120 --> 00:16:24.639
There's so much parents can do, uh, just using themselves as a tool for growth.
00:16:24.639 --> 00:16:27.679
So do seek help, do seek information.
00:16:27.679 --> 00:16:31.200
Listening to this podcast is a great start.
00:16:31.200 --> 00:16:43.519
Um, and Greta, I just so appreciate that you started a podcast about ghosting, because I do think this is a widespread issue in our society that needs to be addressed and that deserves attention.
00:16:43.919 --> 00:16:45.519
Thank you for saying that.
00:16:45.519 --> 00:16:50.720
Tina, finally, how can our listeners connect with you?
00:16:52.000 --> 00:16:58.399
I would love for them to begin by reading my book, Reconnecting with Your Estrange Adult Child.
00:16:58.399 --> 00:17:01.200
You don't have to buy it, you can get it from your local library.
00:17:01.200 --> 00:17:02.879
If they don't have it, they can order it.
00:17:02.879 --> 00:17:06.960
But that's a that's really the best place to start because it gives you a sense.
00:17:06.960 --> 00:17:20.160
I mean, it may be, I would like to think it could be all that you need to figure out what to do vis-a-vis your child, but it'll also give you a sense of my approach and the reconnection club approach.
00:17:20.160 --> 00:17:24.559
And then the podcast, the reconnection club podcast, is free.
00:17:24.559 --> 00:17:28.799
You can look, you can find it in any podcast player app.
00:17:28.799 --> 00:17:39.200
And that just, you know, I talk about little bite-sized ideas in the podcast, but I mean the book and the podcast combined will give you lots and lots of information.
00:17:39.200 --> 00:17:45.920
So those are the best ways to begin to kind of take in the kind of material that I'm putting out.
00:17:45.920 --> 00:18:13.759
And then if you feel like you'd like even more support and you'd like to access the materials that I have built for the Reconnection Club Library, uh, we have expert interviews on specific topics like adoption and estrangement, mother-daughter relationships, things like that, and also a community, uh, a moderated community where you can talk to other parents, then please feel free to join the Reconnection Club at reconnectionclub.com.
00:18:13.759 --> 00:18:37.599
But lastly, if I may, I would just like to say that before you do anything, anything at all, if you have trauma in your history, if you had a difficult childhood, if you experienced abuse or neglect, please don't underestimate the impact of that on your quality of life and your relationships.
00:18:37.599 --> 00:18:47.279
If you haven't had trauma-focused treatment for childhood injuries, I would absolutely do that as a first order of business.
00:18:47.279 --> 00:18:50.720
That's where I would put all of my focus and energy and time.
00:18:51.680 --> 00:18:52.960
Thank you for that.
00:18:52.960 --> 00:18:58.160
Tina, having you on this show is incredible.
00:18:58.160 --> 00:19:05.119
And I'm just so grateful that you've been here and you're really just helping so many people.
00:19:05.119 --> 00:19:14.559
I'm so grateful that you're showing so much support to all the parents out there who wish to reconnect with their estranged adult children.
00:19:15.039 --> 00:19:16.079
Thank you, Grinna.
00:19:16.079 --> 00:19:19.920
It's really a privilege to be on your show, and I wish you all the best.
00:19:20.319 --> 00:19:22.319
Thank you so much for your time.
00:19:22.319 --> 00:19:25.200
Hello, everyone.
00:19:25.200 --> 00:19:27.279
I hope you enjoyed this show.
00:19:27.279 --> 00:19:40.559
If you have a question about being ghosted that you want me to answer in an upcoming joint episode with the Ghost Podcast, please send me an email at copingwithghosting at gmail.com.
00:19:40.559 --> 00:19:55.440
And if you have been ghosted and you want one on one coaching, please visit my website copingwithghosting.com to set up a free 15 minute intro call so I can learn more about your specific situation.
00:19:55.440 --> 00:20:06.559
And finally, be sure to remember when you are ghosted, You have more time to connect with yourself and people who have stellar communication skills.
00:20:06.559 --> 00:20:09.359
You truly deserve the best.
