ABOUT THIS EPISODE
Why does our body stay locked in stress, tension, and fight-or-flight long after a difficult situation is completely over? In this episode of Breaking Down, hosts Jeff Guenther, LPC and Dr. Lindsey Lerner welcome somatic coach and certified Somatic Experiencing Practitioner Woodrós Wolford to explore the body-based approach developed by Peter Levine. First, Woodrós breaks down how modern living turns us into "zoo animals" who cannot run, shake, or yell to release survival stress. They explain the core concepts of Somatic Experiencing in simple terms: titration (taking tiny, manageable sips of distress), pendulation (swinging between uncomfortable tension and safe comfort), and why you do not have to retell your trauma story to heal your nervous system. Then, Woodrós guides Jeff through a live, grounding somatic session. Starting with an orienting exercise focused on a beloved Nada Surf concert poster, Jeff traces the physical difference between a painful breakup memory and the empowering sensation of buying the poster for himself, learning to let his chest tension and musical energy coexist. Finally, the group breaks down the physical signs that a nervous system is settling (like deep sighs and digestive releases), the relief of doing therapy without a rigid agenda, and how body awareness brings your vitality back.
Learn more about Woodrós Wolford
Learn more about Dr. Lindsey Lerner
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IN THIS EPISODE
SHOW NOTES 🔗
TRANSCRIPT 🔗
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Do you want to say it at the same time?
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Okay, Freddie.
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Hello.
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Hello and welcome to Breaking Down.
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No, that was bad.
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Okay, I'm gonna do it.
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We're gonna keep it.
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Hello, welcome to the couple.
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Welcome to Breaking Down.
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My name is Jeff Duncan.
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I am a licensed professional counselor and I have my co-host here.
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I'm Dr.
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Lindsay Lerner.
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I'm a licensed psychologist and still a cyber facilitator.
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Yes.
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And today we are with Woodrose Wolford.
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Hi.
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I'm a somatic coach and recently officially an SEP, which is Somatic Experiencing Practitioner.
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Yes.
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Which is like a big deal.
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Yeah.
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Right?
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Like that's a lot of training.
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Uh huh.
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It's kind of a big deal.
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It's three years of training.
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So the inter the beginning year, the intermediate year, and the advanced year.
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And each year you have 12 days of intensive day-long training that you do.
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And you also have to do consults and individual sessions and group case consults and consults with faculty.
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There's like a lot of very specific process.
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I haven't added up all the hours so that I can just say a lot this amount of a lot of hours, but it's a lot.
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Yeah.
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It it almost feels like a graduate school or something.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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It's like it is the thing you can get for doing somatic experiencing.
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That's the like credential for somatic experiencing.
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Yeah.
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So congratulations.
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Thank you.
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Yeah.
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All right.
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Well, um, we'll ask you some questions about, you know, uh how you explain this theory.
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I know after hearing that, that it's three years of really intense stuff, that sometimes that's hard.
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But sort of maybe in your words, how do you best explain this theory to someone who's maybe never heard of it before?
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Yeah.
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Um, I like to talk about well, I like to, I change the words.
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I work in academia too.
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So I like to talk about nervous system literacy and empowerment as like a way to say it that's a little more um means something to people when they hear it, I guess.
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Um and the somatic experiencing practice is a lot about understanding more about your own nervous system and other people's nervous systems and how are we kind of designed to function and how do we work with that.
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Um, and part of it is, you know that thing about like how when you have animals in zoos, they start to get like neuroses or like our pet is gonna have very human-like neuroses and issues.
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Well, um, that's because the theory is that that's because they're in a confined environment and then what we're in our natural habitat, we're able to discharge the intense energy of a stress response, a fight, flight, freeze, those responses have built-in ways of discharging that energy, but they're all pretty frowned upon in civilization.
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Um, we generally have kind of put ourselves in zoos, basically, is like what I like to say.
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Some of them are better than others, right?
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Like zoo quality varies, as does our civilization.
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Some are in animal sanctuaries.
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Yeah, exactly.
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Um and but basically, like, you know, you can't run out of the room a lot of times and just discharge energy through that.
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You can't just like hit something and discharge energy through that, scream, yeah, in the moment.
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And often you can't like, you know, fall on the floor in a dorsal state and then shake to like shake out of it and let go that energy that way.
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Those are all pretty frowned upon and lead to some specific consequences in most situations.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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Um, so this is basically a practice for learning how do we like discharge that because in our bodies it doesn't have a sense of time, so it's still carrying like every time we went through a stress response and we didn't get to discharge that energy or work that through, it's still there, like waiting.
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But luckily, they're like clustered, right?
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Like it's not like you have to do each one to get the energy back.
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There's like things that kind of relate to each other.
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And so if you can kind of discharge that energy, you can then have back more of your own life force, like more energy to do the things that you care about and value and become more yourself in the world.
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Yeah.
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Interesting.
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There are there like core ideas and principles behind this approach?
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Yeah.
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Basically, one of the big principles has to do with this idea of like flux, being in a state where you can change states.
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So you can upregulate your nervous system when it needs to, when that's the right thing in the situation, and you can downregulate your nervous system and and be in rest and digest and et cetera, and when it needs that, and that there's nothing wrong with any of the states that you might be in, but like we get kind of stuck.
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And it's the idea is to get less stuck.
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And so, how do we do that?
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Well, we don't want to um somatic experiencing believes in titration, and so that's like doing things little by little.
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Um and sort of like in a lab, right?
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Yeah, like in a lab, yeah.
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Um, or like so there's a lot of science about this with lots of things.
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We're sort of going, Oh, you don't have to train for a marathon for moving your body to help you.
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There are significant health impacts if you walk for like 30 seconds that actually can make a big difference.
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This is something we've been learning in the science of like lots of other things, like nature exposure or exercise movement, like there's a lot of value in even just a tiny little bit of something that's not the thing you're doing usually.
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And so, this idea of having little bits of exposure to it's also like exposure therapy, it has some similarities to that.
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Um, in my mind, this is all just SE according to me.
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Right.
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How I have made it.
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Yeah, yeah.
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I'm not I'm not giving you the textbook stuff.
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That's somewhere else.
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Uh that's in the manuals.
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But um yeah, so the fact that you can like even just a tiny bit of something that's not the thing you usually do has the power to help shift things in a pretty important way, which science has been catching up with in lots of other areas.
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Um and that relates to pendulation, which is a side, it's just like think of a pendulum, one side, the other side.
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So this idea of being able to go back and forth between two things.
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So like the more pleasant thing and the more unpleasant thing.
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And that counts with sitting on your couch watching TV, more pleasant feeling.
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It feels more unpleasant to get up and make myself like do push-ups for five minutes.
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I'm not doing five minutes.
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How would I do five minutes?
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I wanted like a realistic example, and that just came out of my mouth.
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Why would you never do that?
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I meant five seconds, thank you.
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Yeah, or like uh five jumping jacks.
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Like, that's something I've actually done.
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Uh I've never been like, let's do push-ups for five minutes.
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But I have the brony.
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So I was like, no, why would you say that?
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Um But yeah, because whatever it should be something that's reasonable for you to do, right?
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Like just a little bit of that thing.
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And that fits with so many other theories too.
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Like Pomodoro technique is about I have 25 minutes of this and then I have five minutes of a break, and then I come back.
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It's that going between these two states, and we know that's helpful for learning and for like having your memory congeal into awesomeness.
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But basically, we already know this, right?
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We already know it's good to to do something and then do the other thing, but we kind of don't practice it.
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Like it's really hard to do it because once we're in something, we kind of want to just stay there.
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Um, and so it's sort of a it's like a structure for helping you do that and just do it a little bit, just just a little bit, just an amount that is manageable and that isn't gonna overwhelm the nervous system.
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So that's um that's pendulation and titration.
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Okay.
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Uh-huh.
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Orientation is like it's nice to know what's around you.
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Yeah.
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It feels good.
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Yeah.
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Where we can sometimes we orient uh in a stress response way, right?
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Where it's like hypervigilance.
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I've spent some time in that in my life.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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And that's like intense threat response orienting.
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But there's this other thing called exploratory orienting response, and that's curiosity.
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That's the thing you need to like learn to grow to be neuroplasticity.
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So that's important.
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Yeah.
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Love orienting.
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That's like I loved uh your house is a wonderful thing to orient to.
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Lots of beautiful things to look at.
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Yeah, sure.
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This room has lots of cool things to look at.
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I can still see the I can see like the sky out there.
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And so being able to take in more of what's around you that isn't a threat is exploratory orienting.
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When it's just like, oh, that's cool.
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Yeah, if we're only looking for the things that are the threats in the environment, that probably has an impact on the way our nervous system is receiving information.
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Yeah.
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Well, and it means you're in that space, right?
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So when we we can sort of force a pendulation or a titration of by like being like, okay, I'm very stressed, but now I'm gonna look around for three things that are blue.
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Yeah.
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I have to look for something that isn't about threat.
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I'm looking for that.
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And I did that with my middle school students before I learned about how like noticing details helps us access like our upper brain, like the higher thinking order things.
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And it's hard to do that to access that on your own when you're younger, but like that's what this is.
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It's like a way to help you kind of reintegrate your brain a little bit.
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Um, and then the final piece that I chose from the list is containment, and so that's partially this piece about like we're we're uh mammals, you are a nervous system mammal, I am a nervous system mammal.
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We have evolved to do things with groups, that's that's kind of our jam.
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Um, and so we're really designed for co-regulation, and so we're supposed to have another nervous system there to do things, we're not supposed to do so many things alone, right?
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Which is like rampant and our culture and our country.
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It's like I'll just go cry in my bedroom by myself.
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Yeah.
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And you I mean, you have to if you don't have like it's still better to do that than not cry out of tears.
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Yeah, but when you have some containment, when someone is there with you, like you're crying in your bedroom with someone you trust who's just like sitting there while you cry just being with you.
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Yeah, or maybe putting their hand on your shoulder or on your foot or like whatever feels normal for the two of you.
00:10:00.799 --> 00:10:06.559
That's that's something that can bring like oh, like a little settling to the nervous system.
00:10:06.639 --> 00:10:07.919
So that's containment.
00:10:08.000 --> 00:10:12.639
And I have um I have a nervous system that really likes to have emotional highlighters.
00:10:12.799 --> 00:10:22.960
So I'm gonna get like choked up sounding throughout the part where I'm talking, and probably not the part where I'm being the practitioner, unless I feel like that's what the person needs.
00:10:23.120 --> 00:10:24.399
It doesn't come up then, you know.
00:10:24.480 --> 00:10:29.440
It's really a thing that's like emotional highlighter of like, hey, this thing I'm saying is really important, actually.
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It resonates.
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Yeah.
00:10:31.200 --> 00:10:36.399
And I don't think I that get it, I get it, I got that language partially because of the SE journey that I've been on.
00:10:36.639 --> 00:10:37.039
Yep.
00:10:37.600 --> 00:10:39.120
The trainings are pretty incredible.
00:10:39.279 --> 00:10:39.519
Yeah.
00:10:39.679 --> 00:10:45.279
Yeah, that is one of our questions, sort of about like that's my favorite question that we ask everybody is like, what drew you into this?
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Like, why is this important?
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Why is this your thing?
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Can we go there?
00:10:49.600 --> 00:10:51.039
Because I was like, it just happened accidentally.
00:10:51.360 --> 00:10:51.759
Can we do it?
00:10:52.080 --> 00:10:52.480
No accidents.
00:10:52.720 --> 00:10:53.120
Okay, great.
00:10:53.200 --> 00:10:55.279
Yeah, no, we don't believe in accidents enough.
00:10:55.519 --> 00:11:00.480
And we believe the nervous system will bring up what it's ready to work with, what's actually available in that moment.
00:11:00.639 --> 00:11:02.960
So we're not big on like let's have an agenda enforced.
00:11:03.440 --> 00:11:05.759
Totally in the like SE way.
00:11:06.000 --> 00:11:08.639
It's much more like, let's see what's up.
00:11:08.799 --> 00:11:15.039
Oh, it seemed really random to you that you talked about this, and then later it's like, oh, I talked about that because about this.
00:11:15.679 --> 00:11:15.919
Yeah.
00:11:16.080 --> 00:11:16.639
Oh dang.
00:11:16.799 --> 00:11:17.759
Yeah, it's all connected.
00:11:18.000 --> 00:11:19.519
It's all connected, yeah.
00:11:19.759 --> 00:11:24.639
So it's giving me a lot of path into the it's all connected being more available, which has been nice for me.
00:11:24.799 --> 00:11:25.440
Yeah, I like that.
00:11:25.679 --> 00:11:25.840
Yeah.
00:11:26.080 --> 00:11:28.000
So what did bring you into Yeah.
00:11:28.240 --> 00:11:36.320
Um, I decided I have to go back a little ways to when I was a teacher, so I taught for a long time.
00:11:36.480 --> 00:11:39.279
And in my second year, I had like a loss.
00:11:39.440 --> 00:11:40.960
I listened to your grief episode.
00:11:41.039 --> 00:11:42.240
So this just made me think about that.
00:11:42.399 --> 00:11:46.559
Just like, because it's state dependent memory and like associations, right?
00:11:46.639 --> 00:11:47.840
So grief.
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Grief is hard.
00:11:49.440 --> 00:11:50.000
Yeah.
00:11:50.399 --> 00:11:52.159
It really is the worst, isn't it?
00:11:52.720 --> 00:11:53.759
Yes, it really is.
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Uh so it it broke me quite a bit.
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Like, as in, I was like, okay, year one is done.
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I learned how to do this.
00:12:01.519 --> 00:12:03.120
I'm gonna do it better, I'm gonna do all these things.
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And instead, I was like, whoa, this is not, I'm not in alignment with my own beliefs and values right now.
00:12:09.279 --> 00:12:10.480
Like, what even is happening?
00:12:10.639 --> 00:12:12.480
So I went and worked with a therapist.
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It wasn't my first time working with a therapist, but it was like the first time I've gone in with that level of like defenses lowered, and you know, there's that.
00:12:21.039 --> 00:12:22.399
Ugh, emotions.
00:12:22.639 --> 00:12:25.279
I love them, but they're annoying when you're trying to talk on a podcast.
00:12:26.399 --> 00:12:40.720
Um there's that whole like post-traumatic growth theory that the faculty member I've been working with, Joshua Sylvay, who's the one I did all of my trainings with for the SE training process, um, for those those like 12, 12 days a year.
00:12:40.879 --> 00:12:47.519
You know, the 36 days in the in the room were with Joshua, except for the first one where he had a sub because he'd had an injury.
00:12:47.600 --> 00:12:49.039
So I guess we're not gonna do math.
00:12:49.279 --> 00:12:50.240
We can't even do math right now.
00:12:50.559 --> 00:12:51.279
30 days.
00:12:52.399 --> 00:12:54.720
Um, that's not even true.
00:12:54.960 --> 00:12:55.200
Sorry.
00:12:55.360 --> 00:12:57.039
You can take this part out where I did math.
00:12:57.679 --> 00:12:58.399
33 days.
00:12:59.200 --> 00:13:05.919
33 days because it was oh no, four, four thirty-two.
00:13:06.159 --> 00:13:06.480
Thirty-two.
00:13:06.720 --> 00:13:07.200
Thirty two days.
00:13:07.360 --> 00:13:09.039
Thirty-they're trying to do a Joshua Silva.
00:13:09.600 --> 00:13:11.039
We're gonna fact check this, by the way.
00:13:11.279 --> 00:13:12.559
No, just kidding.
00:13:14.240 --> 00:13:18.399
Uh anyway, so he talks about that post-traumatic growth.
00:13:18.559 --> 00:13:29.120
And so part of that is like that way in which like when things go wrong, there's like, you know, I mean, I I feel like I really want to make like some kind of nature metaphor for this.
00:13:29.200 --> 00:13:31.519
It's like there's something about when something gets broken open, right?
00:13:31.600 --> 00:13:33.840
That things can grow that couldn't before.
00:13:34.320 --> 00:13:36.240
I liked the metaphor, so I got extra feels.
00:13:36.480 --> 00:13:37.919
I was like, yeah, good metaphor.
00:13:38.159 --> 00:13:38.399
Yeah.
00:13:38.799 --> 00:13:39.759
Dang it, and I can't talk.
00:13:40.159 --> 00:13:41.200
No get into that.
00:13:41.360 --> 00:13:41.519
No.
00:13:42.399 --> 00:13:49.360
Anyway, so I had some good post-traumatic growth from being the worst that year for me, according to me.
00:13:49.919 --> 00:13:59.360
Um, and uh that person that I worked with, who I worked with for quite a while, um, she also started doing EMDR training.
00:14:00.240 --> 00:14:08.639
And when we did our EMDR session, I realized like it was profound, like our first EMDR session.
00:14:08.879 --> 00:14:12.639
I left part way through and went to the bathroom, which I never do.
00:14:12.720 --> 00:14:15.759
Like I never know I need to go to the bathroom traditionally in the before times.
00:14:15.840 --> 00:14:18.720
Like I would never leave anything ever to go to the bathroom.
00:14:18.960 --> 00:14:20.799
Like I still am bad at that now.
00:14:21.600 --> 00:14:23.519
So it was like profoundly a big deal.
00:14:23.600 --> 00:14:26.799
But doing that led to me even just going, oh, I need to go to the bathroom.
00:14:26.879 --> 00:14:27.440
I'm gonna do that.
00:14:27.519 --> 00:14:37.759
And then I remember being in the bathroom and like having this moment of just being able to see like the landscape inside that was just so much bigger that I knew was present, you know.
00:14:37.919 --> 00:14:40.799
It's just like, well, there's so much more to me that I do.
00:14:41.039 --> 00:14:41.600
Yeah.
00:14:41.919 --> 00:14:54.639
So um, and for me, that's relevant because EMDR is a somatic practice, so it's the somatic practice that has the most like research about it, and it's been it's because it's manualized, that's easier to research.
00:14:54.879 --> 00:15:01.519
And and so she was pretty new, she's a very experienced therapist, but a very new EMDR practitioner.
00:15:01.600 --> 00:15:03.360
And so I did some work with her on that.
00:15:03.840 --> 00:15:13.759
Um and it just was like, wow, when the other person isn't talking and I just am with myself, and then I share about it, like that's doing something different.
00:15:13.840 --> 00:15:18.240
Like it just like really landed for me as being like, Whoa, there's something about this.
00:15:18.720 --> 00:15:29.039
Um and I did a little bit more EMDR work later with um with a different therapist who was very experienced in EMDR and also in doing IFS, like internal family systems.
00:15:29.120 --> 00:15:29.840
So I love that too.
00:15:30.000 --> 00:15:35.440
And I think that's image channel, like so an SE principle I didn't talk about earlier, is just like that.
00:15:35.519 --> 00:15:41.440
We have different channels, so like sensation, so like physical body sensations, image.
00:15:41.600 --> 00:15:43.440
So that's the things we can imagine.
00:15:43.759 --> 00:15:47.759
Um, and then behavior, which is like what am I actually doing in the moment?
00:15:47.919 --> 00:16:00.080
Um, which they tell us in training is just for the clinician to be or the practitioner to be tracking for the client, but I don't agree because I track it for myself and use my behavior as like, oh, I guess I was feeling this because I did that.
00:16:00.159 --> 00:16:02.639
You know, we can learn from our own behavior too.
00:16:02.879 --> 00:16:03.519
Yeah.
00:16:03.679 --> 00:16:07.679
Um and then affect, which is feels emotions.
00:16:07.759 --> 00:16:09.840
Um, mine have always been plenty online.
00:16:11.279 --> 00:16:12.399
Well, overcoupled.
00:16:12.960 --> 00:16:15.440
We won't get into under and overcoupling because that one's too nerdy.
00:16:16.240 --> 00:16:17.360
Over to under, to be honest.
00:16:17.600 --> 00:16:18.240
Oh, I have both.
00:16:18.320 --> 00:16:19.200
So they always come together.
00:16:19.600 --> 00:16:20.639
They always come together, though.
00:16:20.720 --> 00:16:23.039
If you're overcoupled one place, you're undercoupled the other.
00:16:24.639 --> 00:16:26.799
That's just the there's there's the opposite.
00:16:26.879 --> 00:16:28.240
Everything has an opposite.
00:16:28.399 --> 00:16:28.960
Right.
00:16:29.279 --> 00:16:30.159
Um, anyway.
00:16:30.399 --> 00:16:35.200
And then the meaning channel, which is like the sit in your head and think about what it means one.
00:16:35.519 --> 00:16:35.840
Uh-huh.
00:16:36.000 --> 00:16:36.639
I love that one.
00:16:36.960 --> 00:16:37.120
Yeah.
00:16:37.840 --> 00:16:40.639
A lot of very Victor Frankel of you.
00:16:43.039 --> 00:16:43.440
We're the same.
00:16:43.759 --> 00:16:44.159
We're the same.
00:16:44.399 --> 00:16:44.559
Yeah.
00:16:45.919 --> 00:16:48.559
Uh yeah, that one's very popular with academics and therapists.
00:16:48.960 --> 00:16:49.360
Sure, sure.
00:16:49.600 --> 00:16:50.159
That makes sense.
00:16:50.399 --> 00:16:50.799
Yeah.
00:16:51.840 --> 00:16:59.919
Um, but anyway, so it was sort of like that was my first access to the image channel was the EMDR too.
00:17:00.240 --> 00:17:02.960
And it gave me some sensation channel access.
00:17:03.039 --> 00:17:06.000
And so I wasn't just stuck in meaning and affect.
00:17:06.240 --> 00:17:10.319
Meaning and affect, which is kind of all I had access to in therapy and talk therapy.
00:17:10.799 --> 00:17:17.119
So being able to add the image channel, which I'm like, mm, my image channel is strong, and I'm like a fantasy nerd.
00:17:17.200 --> 00:17:20.480
Like I've been making stuff up in my image channel since I was a child.
00:17:21.200 --> 00:17:32.160
Um, anyway, so this is a long story, but I feel like it's important because it relates, like, it's why I love this podcast idea too, because like to learn what these different modalities are and be able to see what vibes for you, I think is so important.
00:17:32.240 --> 00:17:34.640
And this just like somatic stuff vibed for me.
00:17:34.799 --> 00:17:35.039
Yeah.
00:17:35.599 --> 00:17:40.559
So when I had a therapist refer me to a somatic experiencing practitioner, I was like, hell yeah, I'm in.
00:17:40.720 --> 00:17:41.839
That was during the pandemic.
00:17:42.000 --> 00:17:46.559
I broke again, worse, much more broken during that.
00:17:46.640 --> 00:17:50.319
So it was like the worst, like yeah, for sure.
00:17:50.799 --> 00:18:01.039
And so I started working with the SCP Lynn McLean, who is my my SC mentor now, and she's like the lead assistant for Joshua Silvay and Masheed Hager.
00:18:01.200 --> 00:18:03.279
So I've done group case consults with Masheed Hager.
00:18:03.599 --> 00:18:07.359
So she's a pretty great person to be getting SE from.
00:18:07.440 --> 00:18:08.319
She's real, real good.
00:18:08.400 --> 00:18:12.240
And she's not a therapist, she's an SCP, and that's what she practices under.
00:18:12.319 --> 00:18:15.200
She's a former actress, like I have a former theater background.
00:18:15.359 --> 00:18:20.960
I'm, you know, so she's like my, you know, my role model inspiration for all this stuff.
00:18:21.359 --> 00:18:24.000
Um, but yeah, and I that was wild.
00:18:24.240 --> 00:18:25.599
Like the first session.
00:18:25.839 --> 00:18:27.599
I don't even it's not words.
00:18:27.680 --> 00:18:35.440
I mean, that's part of it was like I didn't have to talk to get value, but I got so much more value than I was getting from talking.
00:18:35.599 --> 00:18:35.920
Wow.
00:18:36.240 --> 00:18:39.599
It's amazing how much can happen in one session too.
00:18:39.680 --> 00:18:44.960
I've literally gone into a session and come out, I've come out feeling like almost like I'm a different person or something.
00:18:45.440 --> 00:18:45.599
Yeah.
00:18:45.759 --> 00:18:47.519
Sometimes almost like I feel high or something.
00:18:47.680 --> 00:18:47.839
Yeah.
00:18:48.000 --> 00:18:49.440
I'm like, Am I on mushrooms right now?
00:18:49.599 --> 00:18:56.319
Like I feel so incredibly like that sense of self, yeah, you know, is is there so strong.
00:18:56.640 --> 00:19:06.720
So I'm gonna bring in another SC principal since you brought it into the room, which is energy wells, because I'm obsessed with it, because it makes sense to my nervous system, like to my meaning channel.
00:19:06.799 --> 00:19:16.640
Like, I love it because I've had so many of those kinds of experiences where you like have this profound opening up and like self-realization, but then you lose it, right?
00:19:16.799 --> 00:19:22.799
Like you zoom back in, you not always, but I have often it's hard to integrate that into your daily life.
00:19:22.880 --> 00:19:25.200
And so integration is, I guess, another one too.
00:19:25.359 --> 00:19:28.319
It's just like it's about like that's part of why we do the titrated stuff.
00:19:28.400 --> 00:19:32.720
So if you do this little spoonful, maybe you can like actually weave that, you know.
00:19:32.799 --> 00:19:40.240
I've switched metaphors, but you maybe you can really weave that into the rest of your life's tapestry if you're not trying to do everything all at once.
00:19:40.400 --> 00:19:42.319
So I found it really helpful to work with her.
00:19:42.480 --> 00:19:48.000
Um, it was pretty life-changing, gave me more nervous system capacity and the rest is history.
00:19:48.799 --> 00:19:50.720
And I was like, I want to do more of this.
00:19:50.799 --> 00:19:56.319
And then miraculously, my supervisor, I work at the Academic Success Center at Oregon State University.
00:19:56.559 --> 00:19:56.960
Oh, cool.
00:19:57.119 --> 00:20:12.799
And I started there and I was like, hey, so I want to try this SE thing, and I think it might like connect to like peer education and like academic coaching, because I supervise like student academic coaches who do peer-to-peer like support, and I support peer education on campus more broadly.
00:20:12.960 --> 00:20:15.680
And I was like, Can I can you send me to the first one?
00:20:15.839 --> 00:20:18.559
And so she they sent me to beginning one.
00:20:18.799 --> 00:20:19.119
Uh-huh.
00:20:19.359 --> 00:20:22.000
Like they paid for me going to beginning one.
00:20:22.640 --> 00:20:27.119
And finally now I'm really ready to implement like that stuff in the work.
00:20:27.200 --> 00:20:31.039
But it really took going all the way through to advance all the way through advanced two.
00:20:31.119 --> 00:20:33.039
And in the advanced year, it's like I take vacation.
00:20:33.119 --> 00:20:33.519
You know what I mean?
00:20:33.599 --> 00:20:39.519
Like at that point, it's like I'm not even really, but it's still it's been the biggest, it's been the biggest professional development of my life for me.
00:20:39.599 --> 00:20:48.960
Like all the things that I've been stuck on with work, doing the SE training has helped me with because I've had to gotten to work in community.
00:20:49.039 --> 00:20:56.799
Because I'm in, I'm in a it's like a work setting, but one in which we're doing this like profound work together and creating these common language.
00:20:56.880 --> 00:21:04.000
And so I've been able to work on stuff that like I could never have done in a one-on-one setting outside of like the training itself, like with the cohort.
00:21:04.160 --> 00:21:06.960
So it's just been profound.
00:21:07.039 --> 00:21:08.319
And so that's why I want to do this.
00:21:08.400 --> 00:21:17.200
Because for me, for my system, this is the thing that this is the thing that's been changing and help things that have been stuck, stuck, stuck that I have tried, tried, tried to actually change.
00:21:17.440 --> 00:21:17.599
Yeah.
00:21:17.759 --> 00:21:18.079
Yeah.
00:21:18.559 --> 00:21:20.640
We have a few minutes left in this first part.
00:21:20.799 --> 00:21:23.920
Are there any questions that you loved?
00:21:24.319 --> 00:21:28.000
Any one any one other question that you loved that you want to answer?
00:21:28.400 --> 00:21:30.079
Oh, yes, I do.
00:21:30.480 --> 00:21:31.839
Do you did you think of one too?
00:21:32.160 --> 00:21:46.240
Well, I I think it's important for people to know like what this is who this is used for, like, you know, like who who should, you know, what problems, challenges, like who who should seek a SCE therapist, and like, is there people maybe who shouldn't?
00:21:46.880 --> 00:21:47.359
Yeah.
00:21:47.599 --> 00:21:54.640
Um I think it it's useful to everyone, but you might want a team, right?
00:21:54.799 --> 00:21:56.160
Like we're not meant to do this alone.
00:21:56.240 --> 00:21:59.759
So if you're working with an SCP like myself or like Lynn, I was working with Lynn.
00:22:00.160 --> 00:22:01.440
And also with my therapist.
00:22:01.680 --> 00:22:06.240
So I was still doing the therapy stuff, but also I had this SE stuff.
00:22:06.640 --> 00:22:08.079
They paired really nicely.
00:22:08.319 --> 00:22:10.319
And I believe in that at work too, right?
00:22:10.400 --> 00:22:12.720
There's a lot of like, it's good to have your support team.
00:22:12.799 --> 00:22:17.759
And so I think SE is an excellent part of anyone's support team if it if it calls to you.
00:22:17.920 --> 00:22:30.240
And because people can train in so many different modalities, that could be like your physical therapist is an SEP and they're on your support team, or it could be like your um occupational therapist or your licensed massage therapist.
00:22:30.400 --> 00:22:33.359
Like there's so many pathways into SE.
00:22:33.440 --> 00:22:45.759
And so I think I don't I think because it is so flexible, it's a good fit for anyone and anything, provided it's a part of the team, because it's not going to be everything for really anyone or anything.
00:22:45.920 --> 00:22:47.839
I don't think any one thing can do it all.
00:22:48.000 --> 00:22:53.119
Like I don't think that's healthy to like only have this one thing, and it's necessary sometimes for stabilization.
00:22:53.359 --> 00:22:54.640
That's that's fine.
00:22:54.960 --> 00:22:57.200
Um, so that's my like most honest answer.
00:22:57.440 --> 00:22:57.680
Yeah.
00:22:57.920 --> 00:23:00.480
I know that it's sort of pitched as like a trauma treatment.
00:23:01.359 --> 00:23:04.559
So I think that's sort of the Peter Levine like healing trauma.
00:23:04.799 --> 00:23:09.039
But I I agree with you that there's so many more applications than that.
00:23:09.200 --> 00:23:10.400
They're just human applications.
00:23:10.799 --> 00:23:14.319
I think that we all experience stuck stress responses.
00:23:14.480 --> 00:23:21.039
And if we want to call that T little T trauma to talk about like Bessel Vanderkock talks about little T trauma versus big T trauma.
00:23:21.119 --> 00:23:25.039
So I kind of believe we all have trauma for being in civilization for that.
00:23:25.119 --> 00:23:30.960
It's inherently traumatic to be a person going through life if you can't complete those responses.
00:23:31.119 --> 00:23:31.279
Right.
00:23:31.599 --> 00:23:37.680
It's not traumatic if you have that and you can work like work it through in the moment and it's not staying stuck and unresolved.
00:23:37.759 --> 00:23:42.240
But if anything in your life has ever been unresolved, S E might be for you.
00:23:43.039 --> 00:23:44.160
So not a fit for me.
00:23:44.319 --> 00:23:45.440
Everything's resolved on my own.
00:23:45.839 --> 00:23:48.240
Well, we'll see you in the demonstration shortly here.
00:23:54.880 --> 00:23:55.839
Unless there's something else to do with the same thing.
00:23:56.000 --> 00:23:56.960
I mean, I really am.
00:23:57.279 --> 00:24:00.240
Because I just think that the criticisms question is a really good one.
00:24:00.640 --> 00:24:22.720
Because basically, SE is like Peter Levine got two degrees and went around the world learning from lots of people to create a pathway for especially therapists for very like academic-y kind of trained brains to have a way into stuff that has been a part of cultural practices around the world forever.
00:24:23.039 --> 00:24:27.359
Like SE is not the things that already exist in the world.
00:24:27.519 --> 00:24:35.920
It's just a really great way to package them and make them accessible for people who like me are kind of in that meaning channel and really need the science.
00:24:36.079 --> 00:24:39.920
And like it just like he just did the work to make that connection and make it more available.
00:24:40.079 --> 00:24:45.279
And so I think it's important to acknowledge that these are things that are built from.
00:24:45.440 --> 00:25:02.079
Like he literally went and worked with like indigenous peoples, and you know, he he he was a white guy in academia who c collected and curated all of these things into a form, like distilled them into a form that worked for therapists to be able to use.
00:25:02.160 --> 00:25:09.680
And that's really who it's designed for, the SE training is really for therapists to have an access point into this somatic stuff.
00:25:10.079 --> 00:25:16.319
There's a wide variety of people that come to the training that I'm always amazed too, like how many different professions and types of people are there, though.
00:25:16.400 --> 00:25:18.720
So I just think they built it for therapists.
00:25:18.799 --> 00:25:21.279
Like I know a lot of LMTs and body people.
00:25:21.359 --> 00:25:30.559
And when we did SE advanced two, which is when you do touch work, they if we had to, if they needed to do that like after beginning year, like and then it would have made sense for them.
00:25:30.640 --> 00:25:33.200
So they were waiting that whole time for it to make sense.
00:25:33.519 --> 00:25:37.200
Whereas for therapists, a lot of them not all nothing is everyone.
00:25:37.759 --> 00:25:39.680
That's when it was like, Whoa, what is this?
00:25:39.839 --> 00:25:41.519
They needed the preparation of everything else.
00:25:41.599 --> 00:25:45.279
So it's just like that's why I think it's designed that way.
00:25:45.440 --> 00:25:47.680
My cohort was only 50% therapists.
00:25:47.759 --> 00:25:54.240
We were one of the highest non-therapist level cohorts that the SE has ever had, probably, from what I've been hearing.
00:25:54.480 --> 00:25:58.160
So I certainly don't think the SE training is only valuable to therapists.
00:25:58.319 --> 00:26:01.039
I just think it was designed that's good enough.
00:26:01.519 --> 00:26:01.599
Yeah.
00:26:01.759 --> 00:26:02.000
Yeah.
00:26:02.160 --> 00:26:02.319
Okay.
00:26:02.559 --> 00:26:02.799
Cool.
00:26:02.960 --> 00:26:03.839
Let's jump into the demo.
00:26:04.079 --> 00:26:05.440
Let's get into the demo.
00:26:06.880 --> 00:26:08.400
We're gonna play together.
00:26:08.480 --> 00:26:10.480
We're gonna have a little exploration.
00:26:11.359 --> 00:26:12.079
I can do that.
00:26:12.240 --> 00:26:12.400
Okay.
00:26:12.640 --> 00:26:13.359
I like to play.
00:26:13.519 --> 00:26:13.759
Okay.
00:26:14.160 --> 00:26:14.400
Great.
00:26:14.559 --> 00:26:15.839
Oh, you're gonna be great at this.
00:26:15.920 --> 00:26:16.240
Yeah.
00:26:17.279 --> 00:26:27.920
And so I want to invite you to start out just by like looking around the space and noticing if anything is particularly like, mmm, I like looking at that.
00:26:28.000 --> 00:26:30.240
Like, what's drawing your attention right now?
00:26:30.720 --> 00:26:37.359
Um the thing that usually draws my attention is drawing my attention right now, which is that not a surf poster behind you.
00:26:37.599 --> 00:26:47.599
There's I like the the colors, the the pinks and the yellows and the whites, and the little tiny design on that poster always catches my eye.
00:26:47.920 --> 00:26:48.240
Yeah.
00:26:48.400 --> 00:26:49.759
Like the intricacy of it.
00:26:49.920 --> 00:26:50.400
Mm-hmm.
00:26:50.640 --> 00:26:51.279
Hmm.
00:26:52.480 --> 00:26:57.440
Do you notice anything in your body that's like a feeling of, yeah, I like this poster?
00:26:57.519 --> 00:26:58.480
Like, how does that show up?
00:26:58.559 --> 00:27:01.039
How do you know that you like it?
00:27:01.839 --> 00:27:03.119
How do I know?
00:27:03.599 --> 00:27:07.119
Um God, there's something soothing about it.
00:27:07.759 --> 00:27:14.880
Um I love a gradient, just in general, and there's lots of gradient in there that's going on.
00:27:15.200 --> 00:27:24.319
Um, the color specifically, yeah, that pink and the yellow, I don't know, it just sort of evokes calmness and gentleness.
00:27:25.200 --> 00:27:26.640
Calmness and gentleness.
00:27:26.880 --> 00:27:28.559
Yeah, I also, but I don't know.
00:27:28.640 --> 00:27:36.079
The more I think about it right now, I have an associated memory that's not good about it that I just remembered that I haven't thought about for a long time.
00:27:36.400 --> 00:27:37.039
This is S-E.
00:27:37.279 --> 00:27:37.920
That's what happens.
00:27:38.240 --> 00:27:39.599
Sorry, that's a pendulation.
00:27:39.920 --> 00:27:42.160
So I'm not a fan of the memory that's coming up.
00:27:42.240 --> 00:27:45.039
But is it okay to have it be here with us?
00:27:45.359 --> 00:27:46.000
Uh yes.
00:27:46.319 --> 00:27:49.519
Because we can kick it out if you need it to not be here.
00:27:50.160 --> 00:27:51.839
Um let's hang out with it for a bit.
00:27:52.000 --> 00:27:52.240
Okay.
00:27:52.880 --> 00:28:03.920
Do you mind if I like would it feel supportive or awful if I gave you a little story about w why I'm not surprised that you went from really enjoying this into not enjoying it?
00:28:04.240 --> 00:28:05.119
It would be supportive.
00:28:05.359 --> 00:28:07.920
Okay, and I will be nerdy with you real fast.
00:28:08.640 --> 00:28:09.200
I wondered.
00:28:09.279 --> 00:28:10.799
I was like, is nerdiness supportive?
00:28:10.960 --> 00:28:11.039
Yeah.
00:28:11.279 --> 00:28:12.480
Is there a nervous system like that?
00:28:12.799 --> 00:28:13.440
I'm into it.
00:28:13.680 --> 00:28:18.880
Um, yeah, so we exp we know that because pendulation is like a natural thing for our systems.
00:28:19.039 --> 00:28:20.319
Like we naturally pendulate.
00:28:20.400 --> 00:28:26.000
So when you really like take in this positive thing, like you also then something not so positive is gonna come up.
00:28:26.079 --> 00:28:28.960
Like it's just what we expect to have happen.
00:28:29.200 --> 00:28:38.720
And so if we don't want to have that stick around, like we can move to something else, but it's why we're not gonna just like sit with something positive for a super long time.
00:28:38.799 --> 00:28:43.839
At the end, we'll try to like ground back into the here and now and like come back.
00:28:43.920 --> 00:28:49.440
We'll we'll not just go to something positive and then stay there because we know that once we do that, we'll go to somewhere negative.
00:28:49.519 --> 00:28:56.640
And we're not trying to open a new now, it's a great time to have a rough memory come up because then you have something to talk about if you want to.
00:28:57.200 --> 00:29:03.839
At the end, not so great, because then you're leaving kind of like disheveled still on the inside, if that makes sense.
00:29:04.160 --> 00:29:05.119
That makes sense.
00:29:05.440 --> 00:29:10.240
And yeah, I don't I don't know if I've ever thought of that before, but that seems like that naturally happens.
00:29:10.319 --> 00:29:12.240
The positive and the negative come together.
00:29:12.319 --> 00:29:12.559
Yeah.
00:29:13.039 --> 00:29:14.000
That's why I like this stuff.
00:29:14.079 --> 00:29:17.279
It's kind of like just a nice way to name what kind of happens anyway.
00:29:18.240 --> 00:29:20.079
Words matter, I think they're powerful.
00:29:20.240 --> 00:29:21.440
I think they kind of are cool.
00:29:22.000 --> 00:29:23.119
They are cool, yeah.
00:29:28.400 --> 00:29:31.519
How that did you notice that exhale happened?
00:29:32.000 --> 00:29:34.799
Do you feel like it was your idea or your body's idea?
00:29:36.160 --> 00:29:37.200
My body's.
00:29:37.759 --> 00:29:38.079
Cool.
00:29:38.799 --> 00:29:39.920
We like to track that too.
00:29:40.160 --> 00:29:41.200
That's another thing we do.
00:29:46.000 --> 00:29:49.839
And I like accidentally did it at the same time as you, which happens.
00:29:50.240 --> 00:29:52.240
Yeah, that felt nice and in sync.
00:29:52.480 --> 00:29:52.720
Yeah.
00:29:52.880 --> 00:29:53.039
Yeah.
00:29:53.279 --> 00:29:58.000
Yeah, just some like again, we're designed to co-regulate and sync up.
00:29:58.960 --> 00:29:59.279
Yeah.
00:29:59.519 --> 00:29:59.839
Yeah.
00:30:00.480 --> 00:30:02.559
Can you feel the ground and your chair?
00:30:02.720 --> 00:30:20.400
I'm curious about that if you just kind of like notice what it feels like to have the ground supporting your feet and the chair supporting your maybe back and the chair feels really uh supportive and strong and um sturdy.
00:30:21.519 --> 00:30:21.759
Yeah.
00:30:21.920 --> 00:30:23.920
And that sounds like it's very positive.
00:30:24.319 --> 00:30:25.119
I like that.
00:30:25.359 --> 00:30:25.680
Okay.
00:30:25.920 --> 00:30:31.039
I like that, and I like the feeling of the bottom of my feet on the floor.
00:30:31.279 --> 00:30:31.599
Yeah.
00:30:31.759 --> 00:30:32.000
Yeah.
00:30:32.240 --> 00:30:33.039
It's a fun noise.
00:30:33.680 --> 00:30:34.640
I don't think they can hear it.
00:30:34.720 --> 00:30:37.759
But they did a little like tappy tap, and I was like, ooh, I want to do that.
00:30:37.920 --> 00:30:38.319
Mm-hmm.
00:30:38.480 --> 00:30:38.880
Mm-hmm.
00:30:39.119 --> 00:30:42.240
That feels backgrounding and nice.
00:30:42.480 --> 00:30:42.720
Yeah.
00:30:43.759 --> 00:30:47.759
This is a lot of what it is, and it can be resort, like a lot of it can be resourcing.
00:30:48.079 --> 00:30:55.359
And the titration can be like, you remembered that heavy thing, and then we just do this again, and that already is pendulating.
00:30:55.440 --> 00:31:02.400
Like you already like you pulled up something yucky, and we came back to the here and the now and your breath.
00:31:03.680 --> 00:31:07.039
And you don't even have to tell me about that thing to work with it.
00:31:07.759 --> 00:31:08.240
Yeah.
00:31:08.400 --> 00:31:10.880
I can tell you if you want to know about it.
00:31:11.279 --> 00:31:13.039
I would love to hear whatever you want to share.
00:31:13.200 --> 00:31:16.559
I just want you to know that it's not required to do the work for you to tell me.
00:31:18.720 --> 00:31:43.359
Um the yeah, a real concise sort of like backstory is that uh that poster, this like not a surf poster, was a gift from a woman that I was like dating, starting the date casually.
00:31:43.920 --> 00:31:53.920
Uh, and it was a um uh sort of a dramatic roller coaster-y uh connection.
00:31:55.359 --> 00:32:05.440
But while we were together, I was moving into a new apartment and she got me a uh the a poster, this not a surf poster, which I thought was very thoughtful.
00:32:05.680 --> 00:32:06.799
It's my favorite band.
00:32:06.880 --> 00:32:08.480
I don't know this poster.
00:32:08.960 --> 00:32:14.240
Um and then I moved into the new apartment and I hung it up and I loved it.
00:32:14.880 --> 00:32:20.880
And then me and her, the relationship like sort of imploded, exploded.
00:32:21.039 --> 00:32:21.359
Yeah.
00:32:21.599 --> 00:32:30.160
And uh she came over for like a final talk after the like the rip, like I was like, this relationship can't go on.
00:32:30.319 --> 00:32:37.759
And she was very upset, and on her way out of my apartment, she took the poster off the wall and took it with her.
00:32:38.079 --> 00:32:40.880
Oh, so this is the replacement one you got yourself?
00:32:41.039 --> 00:32:42.640
This is a replacement one.
00:32:42.960 --> 00:32:49.200
How does that feel to like know that you got yourself that resourcing poster, even though this went down?
00:32:50.480 --> 00:32:55.119
Uh it was uh I was like re it was like reclaiming something.
00:32:55.359 --> 00:33:00.720
It was uh um it was now like this thing that I bought for myself.
00:33:00.799 --> 00:33:02.559
It was a present that came from me.
00:33:02.720 --> 00:33:03.279
Yeah.
00:33:03.599 --> 00:33:08.160
And um Is it okay to just like slow down and say that again?
00:33:08.240 --> 00:33:09.519
Like if it feels okay.
00:33:09.680 --> 00:33:10.880
Like this is a present.
00:33:10.960 --> 00:33:11.599
It came from you.
00:33:11.759 --> 00:33:17.920
This is a present you gave you, however you want to feel it or say it again, just that felt important.
00:33:18.640 --> 00:33:32.559
Um yeah, it was it's a poster of my favorite band, and it's like a really like visually appealing poster that's really important to me.
00:33:32.720 --> 00:33:36.640
And I made sure that I had it in my new apartment.
00:33:36.880 --> 00:33:37.279
Yes.
00:33:37.519 --> 00:33:42.960
Uh I moved into this new apartment like out of the house that I got a divorce in.
00:33:43.200 --> 00:33:50.559
So it was also like, I'm gonna make sure this apartment feels good and feels fun and is representative of me.
00:33:51.279 --> 00:34:02.160
Uh, and and I made sure that that was that like poster was like in a special place in my apartment that I chose, and that made me feel really happy.
00:34:02.480 --> 00:34:04.160
Where did you put it in your apartment?
00:34:05.759 --> 00:34:11.760
It was um close to the entryway and also in the living room.
00:34:11.840 --> 00:34:13.039
So you could always see it.
00:34:13.119 --> 00:34:21.039
It was just like a big open space apartment, and it was it was always right there to to look at and to look at when it came in and came out of the apartment.
00:34:21.360 --> 00:34:24.559
So you've oriented to this poster before as a resource like many times.
00:34:24.639 --> 00:34:28.639
Like you put it in a spot where you could orient to it almost anywhere in your apartment.
00:34:28.960 --> 00:34:30.960
Yeah, it was yeah, it was yeah.
00:34:31.119 --> 00:34:33.760
So it was there for me at the beginning of the pandemic.
00:34:34.000 --> 00:34:34.639
Oh yeah.
00:34:34.880 --> 00:34:36.320
And through the pandemic.
00:34:36.880 --> 00:34:37.280
Oh wow.
00:34:37.440 --> 00:34:39.679
Yeah, it was so special and anchoring.
00:34:40.000 --> 00:34:40.320
Yeah.
00:34:40.559 --> 00:34:43.760
We spent some extra time in our spaces with that.
00:34:44.800 --> 00:34:45.119
Yeah.
00:34:45.360 --> 00:34:50.079
That seems like another, like, we use like vortex and counter vortex.
00:34:50.159 --> 00:34:59.360
So like you can think about the like, ooh, bad memory is the vortex, and then the like, mm, I got myself this gorgeous thing as like the counter vortex.
00:34:59.920 --> 00:35:01.920
And the pandemic's another vortex.
00:35:02.079 --> 00:35:06.880
Like, I feel like I saw that a little bit in your system, and this is a resource you gave yourself during the pandemic.
00:35:06.960 --> 00:35:07.679
I think I'm hearing.
00:35:07.760 --> 00:35:09.679
Like, I don't know if that resonates or vibes.
00:35:10.000 --> 00:35:11.599
That's just like what I'm hearing in the story.
00:35:11.679 --> 00:35:18.079
And I feel like your eyes are like really bright right now, and you're like, I don't know, some energy coming through.
00:35:18.559 --> 00:35:46.480
Yeah, well, also like, yeah, not a surf, like the band has been a very important band for me that I've like seen um at different points in my life where I've like experienced a lot of grief or feeling lost, or so like and they've they're a band that is like spanned over 30 years.
00:35:46.719 --> 00:35:48.480
They've been like making music for 30 years.
00:35:48.719 --> 00:35:55.199
They've been a part of my life for a really long time, and I'm like connected to the band to the lead singer.
00:35:55.519 --> 00:36:07.679
Um, so there's just like there's a lot of uh warm connections and sad, sad times connected to the music that I like treasure.
00:36:08.639 --> 00:36:13.280
Yeah, I mean, like it's it's such a deep resource for you, it sounds like.
00:36:13.440 --> 00:36:16.800
See if take tell me what doesn't resonate, please.
00:36:16.880 --> 00:36:22.960
And um, but it seems like it's been able to be like a resource at times of a lot of different uh tumult.
00:36:23.199 --> 00:36:27.280
It's helped you like kind of move through those things and it's been present for a long time.
00:36:27.840 --> 00:36:30.400
It's like it's kind of kind of a fucking big deal.
00:36:30.719 --> 00:36:31.599
It's a big deal.
00:36:32.239 --> 00:36:34.400
The band is a big deal, the music is a big deal.
00:36:34.880 --> 00:36:38.400
The poster that represents those things are a big deal, yeah.
00:36:38.639 --> 00:36:39.039
Yeah.
00:36:46.000 --> 00:36:47.599
That one comes from the body too.
00:36:49.519 --> 00:36:50.079
Yeah.
00:36:50.559 --> 00:36:53.360
Do you have a twinge of something not as pleasant coming up against?
00:36:53.679 --> 00:36:55.519
Oh, just some sadness, yeah.
00:36:55.679 --> 00:36:56.159
I don't know.
00:36:56.480 --> 00:36:58.159
Does it feel okay to be with that?
00:37:02.159 --> 00:37:03.519
Where is it right now?
00:37:03.679 --> 00:37:05.760
Like, is it somewhere specific in your body?
00:37:05.840 --> 00:37:06.960
Like how where is the sadness?
00:37:07.280 --> 00:37:08.800
Yeah, it's like heavy in my heart.
00:37:09.199 --> 00:37:09.440
Okay.
00:37:09.840 --> 00:37:14.400
And uh in the back of my eyes or something.
00:37:14.639 --> 00:37:14.960
Okay.
00:37:15.119 --> 00:37:15.360
Yeah.
00:37:15.599 --> 00:37:15.920
Yeah.
00:37:16.880 --> 00:37:22.239
Are there other parts of you that still feel some of that like not a surf joy energy?
00:37:22.400 --> 00:37:25.920
Like, is that hanging out anywhere in your body alongside this?
00:37:26.880 --> 00:37:27.440
Mm-hmm.
00:37:30.719 --> 00:37:39.679
Um, yeah, I mean, I like the memory that comes up as the last time I saw not a surf.
00:37:39.840 --> 00:37:50.079
Um was oh yeah, maybe like less than a year ago, eight or nine months ago, and um it was perfect.
00:37:50.320 --> 00:37:52.159
I was by myself.
00:37:52.559 --> 00:37:55.599
And so it was just me and not a surf.
00:37:55.679 --> 00:38:18.320
I mean, and all the other people there, but yeah, I mean, I guess it felt like just me and and the lead singer, uh, like I had invited him on my podcast, another podcast, like a while ago, and he noticed me in the crowd, so he like gave me a little shout out, and uh that was like really sweet and special.
00:38:18.480 --> 00:38:21.280
And um yeah, I don't know.
00:38:21.360 --> 00:38:29.840
It felt like he didn't need to do that, you know, like probably lots of people that he like knew that was going to the show, but it felt really special that he did that for me.
00:38:30.239 --> 00:38:34.960
So that's like I got so many like little chills, sounds very special.
00:38:35.280 --> 00:38:35.599
Yeah.
00:38:36.000 --> 00:38:37.039
And so meaningful.
00:38:37.280 --> 00:38:38.960
Yeah, he is really important to me.
00:38:39.039 --> 00:38:50.239
He doesn't realize how important, but he is, you know, but he is, and so that was like incredibly like loving and kind and sweet.
00:38:50.400 --> 00:38:50.639
Yeah.
00:38:51.199 --> 00:38:52.000
Thank you for sharing.
00:38:52.159 --> 00:38:54.239
It's really an honor to get to hear this story.
00:38:54.400 --> 00:38:56.079
Like, here, I'm gonna have to listen to this.
00:38:57.679 --> 00:38:58.480
Yeah, good music.
00:38:58.719 --> 00:38:58.960
Yeah.
00:38:59.840 --> 00:39:11.280
Um, I'm curious if there's a place in your body where you feel that, that like sense of that was so loving and kind and sweet when he shouted you out of the concert and you were there not that long ago.
00:39:12.079 --> 00:39:12.960
Yeah, I don't know.
00:39:13.039 --> 00:39:21.280
There's like something that comes up like in my throat, in my I don't know, in my face, in my mouth sort of thing.
00:39:21.519 --> 00:39:28.480
I think it's like I'm while the concert is going on, I'm like singing so loudly.
00:39:28.800 --> 00:39:36.320
And so there's like lots of like vibrations, uh, like fun, like vibrating sound coming out of me.
00:39:36.480 --> 00:39:39.199
And um that's what I connect with.
00:39:39.360 --> 00:39:39.760
Yeah.
00:39:40.480 --> 00:39:42.480
Do you want to try an SE exercise?
00:39:42.639 --> 00:39:44.000
Wanna do like a thing?
00:39:44.559 --> 00:39:45.280
What's the thing?
00:39:45.519 --> 00:39:49.519
The thing is like trying uh to pendulate between the two things.
00:39:49.679 --> 00:39:53.679
So take a little bit of time to be with what's in the heavy heart.
00:39:53.920 --> 00:40:00.480
And no, I lost the other one because I was so with you on the happy journey, but the heavy heart and anywhere else, that sadness.
00:40:00.639 --> 00:40:01.679
Was it the eyes?
00:40:02.000 --> 00:40:03.920
Behind my eyes and in my heart, yeah.
00:40:04.239 --> 00:40:04.480
Yeah.
00:40:04.639 --> 00:40:13.360
So maybe like taking a moment with that and then switching to like taking a moment with those vibrations of the music in the throat and the face.
00:40:13.599 --> 00:40:17.920
We can try it, and if it doesn't work, it you don't have to try it.
00:40:18.000 --> 00:40:18.639
It's an option.
00:40:19.039 --> 00:40:20.079
Yeah, we can try it.
00:40:20.320 --> 00:40:20.639
Okay.
00:40:21.440 --> 00:40:26.159
All right, let's start with the face happy throat, happy vibrations, and just take a moment with those.
00:40:34.480 --> 00:40:42.320
And then go ahead and switch your focus and let the sadness that's high in the eyes and in the heart with its heaviness be there.
00:40:51.199 --> 00:40:54.719
Go ahead and drift it back over and feel those vibrations.
00:41:26.000 --> 00:41:29.440
Do you want to try and see if you can hold the bowl?
00:41:30.559 --> 00:41:31.280
I don't have to.
00:41:31.519 --> 00:41:32.400
That's just like a challenge.
00:41:47.039 --> 00:41:48.159
That's tricky.
00:41:48.719 --> 00:41:50.079
Did you do it for a moment?
00:41:50.320 --> 00:41:51.199
Uh little.
00:41:51.440 --> 00:41:51.840
A little.
00:41:51.920 --> 00:41:52.960
That's what we're going for.
00:41:53.199 --> 00:41:54.239
We just want a little.
00:41:54.559 --> 00:41:55.039
Yeah.
00:41:55.519 --> 00:42:00.880
Is it okay to come back together and kind of see how that went and debrief a little bit?
00:42:02.320 --> 00:42:02.880
Yeah.
00:42:03.119 --> 00:42:20.320
The there's like uh the like sad part, the sad vibes are connected to um a show where I saw them in 2003, and it's dark.
00:42:20.559 --> 00:42:28.639
It was like literally dark, as in like it was a small venue as in the balcony, kind of alone.
00:42:28.880 --> 00:42:29.199
Oh yeah.
00:42:29.440 --> 00:42:35.039
So it's like alone, literally alone in the balcony, feeling in the dark with lots of sadness.
00:42:36.719 --> 00:42:57.840
Um but the happy memory, you know, just like eight months ago, where there's like now they're a bigger band with like lights, and so it's bright, and I'm like a feet away from the lead singer, so I'm really close and connected with him, and we're I'm singing at him.
00:42:58.159 --> 00:42:59.679
I think he's singing to me.
00:42:59.840 --> 00:43:14.000
So there's like uh so much connection and uh but the the the when I saw them in Did you just burp too, or did I burp on my own?
00:43:14.239 --> 00:43:15.280
No, it was just me.
00:43:15.519 --> 00:43:17.280
It was like, I swear I heard a sound.
00:43:17.360 --> 00:43:18.800
We it's a weird S E thing.
00:43:18.880 --> 00:43:20.320
We do track like weird Show.
00:43:20.480 --> 00:43:21.440
I swallowed open.
00:43:21.599 --> 00:43:24.960
Okay, I was like, I thought I saw something happen in your chest in your crowd.
00:43:25.679 --> 00:43:32.320
And then because I'm now like remembering that in 2003 they were touring their album called Let Go.
00:43:32.880 --> 00:43:39.199
And then in this the last time I saw them eight months ago, they were doing like a reunion tour of that album.
00:43:39.440 --> 00:43:41.360
So they're playing like the same songs.
00:43:41.920 --> 00:43:44.320
So super connected and they're so different.
00:43:44.480 --> 00:43:47.039
So much has shifted from then to now.
00:43:47.280 --> 00:43:47.760
Yeah.
00:43:48.000 --> 00:43:49.519
So much has shifted.
00:43:50.239 --> 00:43:51.840
A lot has shifted, yeah.
00:43:52.079 --> 00:43:52.400
Yeah.
00:43:54.079 --> 00:43:59.760
You will have taken like, I don't know, just one percent or five percent, ten percent of that feeling of like things have shifted.
00:44:00.400 --> 00:44:02.960
For them, for you, like for this poster.
00:44:07.119 --> 00:44:11.760
Yeah, if I think about it, I can take it in and it feels crazy.
00:44:12.800 --> 00:44:14.719
Is it positive, negative, or neutral?
00:44:15.679 --> 00:44:19.199
Crazy and like a crazy like uh what is that?
00:44:20.400 --> 00:44:26.159
Um in a growth way, in a positive growth way.
00:44:26.559 --> 00:44:40.079
Like there's been a lot of life that has happened between those two shows and whoa, and a lot of like emotional journey and milestones and um and I'm still singing along to the same songs.
00:44:40.719 --> 00:44:41.280
Yeah.
00:44:41.519 --> 00:44:45.039
I I heard that one that one got some emotional highlighter too, right?
00:44:45.280 --> 00:44:47.599
Like the they're the same songs with all of that.
00:44:47.760 --> 00:44:53.920
It's changed, like so much has changed, you've changed, the world's changed, the band has changed, but they're still singing along to the same songs.
00:44:55.360 --> 00:44:55.760
Yeah.
00:45:02.159 --> 00:45:02.559
Yeah.
00:45:03.199 --> 00:45:17.920
Does it feel okay to move towards kind of like rapping and maybe invite you to orient to the space again and see if there's something that calls your attention now that feels like, oh, I also like you.
00:45:18.159 --> 00:45:18.480
Hi.
00:45:18.880 --> 00:45:19.840
We won't go deep.
00:45:19.920 --> 00:45:21.119
We'll just we'll just say hi.
00:45:21.599 --> 00:45:22.159
Uh yeah.
00:45:22.320 --> 00:45:25.440
Lindsay is sitting here, so I'm Orient.
00:45:25.679 --> 00:45:26.480
I saw her.
00:45:26.800 --> 00:45:27.199
Uh-huh.
00:45:28.000 --> 00:45:30.000
Yeah, I like I like her shirt too.
00:45:30.559 --> 00:45:30.719
Right.
00:45:30.880 --> 00:45:31.840
It's lovely.
00:45:32.000 --> 00:45:32.079
Yeah.
00:45:32.559 --> 00:45:33.039
Good smile.
00:45:33.199 --> 00:45:33.360
Yeah.
00:45:33.519 --> 00:45:36.000
Well, and that's nice because that's like setting up for the transition.
00:45:36.079 --> 00:45:42.639
Like part of you is maybe, I don't know if this is gonna vibe or not, but maybe part of you is coming back online, being like, Oh yeah, I'm gonna have to shift gears.
00:45:42.800 --> 00:45:45.360
I'm gonna have to go back into this podcast role.
00:45:45.599 --> 00:45:45.840
Yeah.
00:45:46.000 --> 00:45:51.760
So I'm gonna see Lindsay and take her in as a part of that, like supporting yourself, orienting to that transition.
00:45:52.559 --> 00:45:53.039
I don't know.
00:45:53.119 --> 00:45:56.480
That might sound like I think that's what I'm attempting, and that's what it feels like.
00:45:56.719 --> 00:45:56.960
Yeah.
00:45:57.119 --> 00:45:57.440
Yeah.
00:45:57.599 --> 00:45:58.079
Uh-huh.
00:45:58.400 --> 00:45:58.800
Yeah.
00:45:59.440 --> 00:46:04.239
But did it feel like you forced yourself to take in Lindsay being lovely or or in the world?
00:46:04.400 --> 00:46:05.440
No, she just caught my eye.
00:46:05.679 --> 00:46:06.000
Yeah.
00:46:06.239 --> 00:46:08.480
So your nervous system was helping you with the transition.
00:46:08.719 --> 00:46:09.519
I guess so, yeah.
00:46:09.679 --> 00:46:10.000
Yeah.
00:46:11.840 --> 00:46:14.400
I mean, if maybe maybe even think about it that way.
00:46:14.559 --> 00:46:14.719
1%.
00:46:15.199 --> 00:46:17.039
Believe 1% that you're okay.
00:46:18.079 --> 00:46:19.599
Yeah, you don't have to convince me.
00:46:19.840 --> 00:46:20.320
Yeah.
00:46:23.199 --> 00:46:23.840
Yeah.
00:46:24.159 --> 00:46:28.960
Maybe feel into that chair, being strong and supportive under you.
00:46:29.360 --> 00:46:30.239
Feels sturdy.
00:46:30.480 --> 00:46:32.719
And feeling like the need to like hold on to the chair.
00:46:32.800 --> 00:46:33.679
It feels really good.
00:46:33.760 --> 00:46:34.880
It is really sturdy.
00:46:36.000 --> 00:46:36.239
Yeah.
00:46:36.400 --> 00:46:38.960
And I desire to make the little foot taps again.
00:46:40.880 --> 00:46:42.000
Yeah, that feels nice.
00:46:42.320 --> 00:46:42.880
Kind of music.
00:46:42.960 --> 00:46:43.920
It's kind of vibrational.
00:46:44.159 --> 00:46:44.559
Uh-huh.
00:46:44.639 --> 00:46:44.960
Yeah.
00:46:45.119 --> 00:46:45.440
Yeah.
00:46:45.599 --> 00:46:46.239
Yeah.
00:46:49.360 --> 00:46:50.639
Well, thank you so much.
00:46:50.800 --> 00:47:01.679
It was such an honor to get to visit your like life story encapsulation with you and hear about this meaningful band.
00:47:02.159 --> 00:47:04.480
And that time, that time you did.
00:47:05.280 --> 00:47:05.840
You did.
00:47:06.639 --> 00:47:08.000
Because that's what we track that.
00:47:08.159 --> 00:47:09.679
We care in SE about that.
00:47:09.840 --> 00:47:10.000
Yeah.
00:47:10.159 --> 00:47:18.400
We won't tell people if it freaks them out, but we are paying attention to like every time you're like, I'm settling and your shoulders go down.
00:47:18.639 --> 00:47:20.400
Or there's like a burp that comes up.
00:47:20.559 --> 00:47:23.280
Because that's related to like parasympathetic.
00:47:23.760 --> 00:47:26.800
So it's it's a deactivation of the nervous system.
00:47:26.960 --> 00:47:35.280
And so that's something we want to pay attention to because it's good to be like when you're feeling like to be able to go, ah, it's nice.
00:47:35.440 --> 00:47:39.760
And so that's like we love you know how like chefs will sometimes be like, oh, it's a compliment if you burp.
00:47:39.920 --> 00:47:41.199
Because I mean my food was so good.
00:47:41.519 --> 00:47:42.719
That's how SE feels about it.
00:47:43.199 --> 00:47:45.519
Oh, well, burp, you must be having a good time.
00:47:45.679 --> 00:47:46.639
Oh, yay.
00:47:48.159 --> 00:47:52.719
So just a little context on why I explained, said something about a burp earlier.
00:47:52.880 --> 00:47:53.039
Yeah.
00:47:53.280 --> 00:47:54.239
Oh, okay, got it.
00:47:54.480 --> 00:47:57.519
I wanted you to have the nerdy knowledge now that we're closing.
00:47:58.639 --> 00:48:02.639
But I'd want you to know as a client, so I felt like it was this and not debrief.
00:48:02.719 --> 00:48:03.519
If that makes sense.
00:48:04.480 --> 00:48:07.360
It's like what we would do in conversation.
00:48:07.599 --> 00:48:07.840
Cool.
00:48:08.079 --> 00:48:08.960
This was fun.
00:48:09.280 --> 00:48:10.239
Yeah, it was.
00:48:10.400 --> 00:48:12.559
I I really enjoyed that journey.
00:48:12.960 --> 00:48:14.320
And you were very good at it.
00:48:14.559 --> 00:48:16.320
Oh I'm a natural.
00:48:16.559 --> 00:48:17.440
You're a natural.
00:48:17.679 --> 00:48:18.000
You are.
00:48:18.159 --> 00:48:19.760
I mean, look what your nervous system was like.
00:48:19.920 --> 00:48:20.320
Here.
00:48:20.480 --> 00:48:21.679
I have everything you need.
00:48:21.840 --> 00:48:22.000
Yeah.
00:48:22.159 --> 00:48:23.199
Just pay attention to this.
00:48:23.840 --> 00:48:24.719
Trust me, I got you.
00:48:25.360 --> 00:48:25.679
Yeah.
00:48:26.159 --> 00:48:26.800
Cool.
00:48:27.599 --> 00:48:30.159
This is me appreciating your nervous system as we transition.
00:48:30.239 --> 00:48:31.199
Like, nice work.
00:48:31.280 --> 00:48:32.320
Nice work, nervous system.
00:48:32.559 --> 00:48:33.440
Good job.
00:48:36.320 --> 00:48:37.840
Welcome back, you two.
00:48:38.559 --> 00:48:39.199
Yeah.
00:48:39.679 --> 00:48:41.760
So I'm just sort of curious.
00:48:41.840 --> 00:48:44.159
Um, maybe I'll ask therapist first.
00:48:44.880 --> 00:48:46.000
Well, I'm not a therapist.
00:48:46.159 --> 00:48:47.039
I'm not a therapist.
00:48:47.360 --> 00:48:49.599
Well, therapist is actually like a therapeutic.
00:48:51.599 --> 00:48:52.159
I'm a coach.
00:48:52.400 --> 00:48:55.519
I'll ask a therapeutically supportive coach first.
00:48:56.960 --> 00:48:58.960
Um, how did that feel for you?
00:48:59.280 --> 00:49:01.039
Oh my gosh, it was so fun.
00:49:01.840 --> 00:49:07.440
I love doing a C, but I I get in my head ahead of time.
00:49:07.519 --> 00:49:09.760
So I'm like, oh my god, I'm on a podcast, we're recording.
00:49:09.920 --> 00:49:12.079
You and I have never met in person before.
00:49:12.320 --> 00:49:15.440
Like, oh, what's this gonna be?
00:49:15.599 --> 00:49:16.320
Like, I don't know.
00:49:16.400 --> 00:49:17.920
But then it's like, I don't know.
00:49:18.079 --> 00:49:19.440
The nervous system knows.
00:49:19.599 --> 00:49:26.480
I just get to be there for it and hold the space and see, like, ugh, I'm gonna cry again.
00:49:27.840 --> 00:49:29.199
Like it was just I love it.
00:49:29.280 --> 00:49:30.159
I really love SE.
00:49:30.400 --> 00:49:31.119
Yeah, I do too.
00:49:31.360 --> 00:49:32.480
I fucking love doing it.
00:49:32.639 --> 00:49:32.880
Yeah.
00:49:33.039 --> 00:49:33.280
Yeah.
00:49:33.679 --> 00:49:37.280
And it's it can be truly like magical, really.
00:49:37.440 --> 00:49:42.079
Like, I can't even think of a better word to see what people can work through and what comes up.
00:49:42.239 --> 00:49:44.320
And and I don't know.
00:49:44.400 --> 00:49:50.800
I know this is I don't want to speak for you, but like I'm so touched to be able to do that with someone and to be on their journey with them.
00:49:51.920 --> 00:49:52.639
Such a privilege.
00:49:52.800 --> 00:49:52.960
Yeah.
00:49:53.119 --> 00:49:57.599
Whether whether you're like client or practitioner, even observer, observer and right.
00:49:57.920 --> 00:50:01.280
Observer, like in any of the roles, like just getting to be there with it.
00:50:01.360 --> 00:50:01.599
Yeah.
00:50:01.679 --> 00:50:02.880
It's like really profound.
00:50:03.119 --> 00:50:05.119
None of this is here when I'm in practitioner role.
00:50:05.440 --> 00:50:07.199
No, no, no, no, but uh-huh.
00:50:07.440 --> 00:50:11.920
But uh I know I only got like a taste of it, but I think you're really good at it.
00:50:12.960 --> 00:50:15.920
Uh from a therapist therapist.
00:50:16.079 --> 00:50:18.079
Oh from like the people's therapist.
00:50:19.679 --> 00:50:22.480
Therapy Jeff's something good at Jeff.
00:50:23.440 --> 00:50:26.239
You you got to reach underneath their therapy Jeff.
00:50:26.559 --> 00:50:27.360
Yeah, you got to just see.
00:50:27.760 --> 00:50:30.320
Yeah, you made me feel really really comfy.
00:50:30.480 --> 00:50:36.960
There's just a natural feeling of like trust and containment that felt safe.
00:50:37.119 --> 00:50:45.119
Uh and um there's, you know, like as a therapist and as just like my personality, I'm like, what's the agenda here?
00:50:45.280 --> 00:50:46.320
What are we doing?
00:50:46.639 --> 00:50:53.039
Um, so it was there's it's partly like I'm feeling nervous, like, what's the agenda?
00:50:53.199 --> 00:50:57.039
I kind of asked you for it before we hit record, and you're like, nope.
00:50:57.280 --> 00:51:04.000
And then there's also some but there's something really liberating about like, I have no fucking idea how this is gonna go.
00:51:04.159 --> 00:51:05.599
And I'm not the therapist here.
00:51:05.760 --> 00:51:09.920
I'm I'm just like the client, the person receiving the treatment.
00:51:10.159 --> 00:51:14.639
Um, and so that was that felt you were great and that felt really good.
00:51:17.920 --> 00:51:18.320
Yeah.
00:51:18.800 --> 00:51:19.119
Yeah.
00:51:19.360 --> 00:51:20.960
How do you feel now, Giraffe?
00:51:21.039 --> 00:51:25.519
Now that the I don't know, demonstration is complete, we've shifted gears.
00:51:26.159 --> 00:51:29.760
I'm somatically asking you to check in with your body.
00:51:31.119 --> 00:51:32.159
How do I feel?
00:51:32.320 --> 00:51:34.960
I feel more in touch with my body.
00:51:35.920 --> 00:51:38.639
Um which is a thing.
00:51:38.880 --> 00:51:42.239
I was because I was, I mean, I got like poor sleep last night.
00:51:42.400 --> 00:51:44.480
I only slept like four or five hours.
00:51:44.880 --> 00:51:48.320
So I was like kind of dragging a little bit today.
00:51:48.639 --> 00:51:57.519
We did a podcast before this podcast, and that was like, you know, that was like more heady and a little draining in that sort of way.
00:51:57.760 --> 00:52:17.360
Uh so I was worried that I wouldn't maybe be like totally, I don't know, turn like clicked into this experience, but I don't know, going into just like feeling my body and remembering, you know, getting in touch with those feelings about really anchoring and grounding.
00:52:17.440 --> 00:52:24.719
And then like so like I'm in touch with my body, feel my body more, but I also feel like energized, uh more awake.
00:52:25.039 --> 00:52:25.760
More alive.
00:52:26.000 --> 00:52:26.320
More alive.
00:52:26.559 --> 00:52:26.880
If you will.
00:52:27.119 --> 00:52:27.280
Yeah.
00:52:27.760 --> 00:52:27.840
Yeah.
00:52:28.079 --> 00:52:31.039
Got some of your life force back, if you will.
00:52:31.440 --> 00:52:33.280
Be in touch with your life force more.
00:52:33.360 --> 00:52:38.000
That's another, like, you know, there's so it's so many different things, like all the terms.
00:52:38.079 --> 00:52:39.119
I'm in academia.
00:52:39.199 --> 00:52:40.960
Like everybody loves their terms.
00:52:41.119 --> 00:52:45.599
I don't think you need any of those to do it, but it's kind of fun to like be introduced to them as they come up.
00:52:45.760 --> 00:52:51.199
Um, yeah, I was feeling a lot when you were saying that because it just I can relate.
00:52:51.280 --> 00:52:53.679
Like, that's what this has been for me a lot.
00:52:53.760 --> 00:52:56.000
Like, it's like I didn't used to be very in my body.
00:52:56.079 --> 00:52:57.199
And you know.
00:52:57.519 --> 00:52:58.800
Now look at you.
00:52:59.039 --> 00:52:59.519
Yeah.
00:53:00.320 --> 00:53:05.440
I personally thought it was so funny that you had a session about not a surf, just knowing you.
00:53:05.679 --> 00:53:09.519
Um, I had a moment as I was like, oh, of course, we're gonna go here.
00:53:09.840 --> 00:53:10.559
It was so cute.
00:53:10.880 --> 00:53:23.679
I know it was so cute though, that like that was um, and I also just thought it was so awesome how I just really wanted to comment on this that you did a lot of resourcing on sort of that like I'll just call it positive, right?
00:53:23.760 --> 00:53:29.599
That sort of like positive resourcing before dipping into anything a little bit harder, more challenging.
00:53:29.920 --> 00:53:37.039
And I um as a therapist, there's so many clients that I see uh that come in with trauma and they're like, let's do it, or even still a second too.
00:53:37.199 --> 00:53:38.639
It's like dive in, let's go hard.
00:53:38.960 --> 00:53:44.320
And it's like, no, no, no, sweetie, like let's let's pull back a little bit, let's like pull from what feels really positive.
00:53:44.400 --> 00:53:48.719
So I thought you did a really nice job of demonstrating what that looks like.
00:53:48.800 --> 00:53:54.800
Um, and also that piece that you said um that you're not required to tell me the story.
00:53:55.039 --> 00:54:05.599
And that's really unique about SE as well, which is really useful for trauma because people are expecting when they come in for trauma treatment, especially their intake, it's like tell me every single thing that's ever happened to you.
00:54:05.840 --> 00:54:10.719
You don't have to do that with SE, you don't have to tell the story to be able to do the work.
00:54:11.360 --> 00:54:14.239
Yeah, when you said that, I was like, oh, interesting move.
00:54:14.800 --> 00:54:19.119
Because like my uh compulsion almost would be like, here it is.
00:54:19.199 --> 00:54:19.280
Yeah.
00:54:19.519 --> 00:54:20.719
Like I'm gonna tell you all the details.
00:54:21.199 --> 00:54:21.599
Yeah, yeah.
00:54:21.920 --> 00:54:25.760
Well, and that's what was so wild when I had my first SE session.
00:54:26.239 --> 00:54:29.119
I was like getting ready to tell the whole trauma story.
00:54:29.199 --> 00:54:29.760
Let's go.
00:54:29.920 --> 00:54:37.119
And then Lynn, so I I didn't want to interrupt you as much as like Lynn interrupted me there because you were more resourced than I was then, A.
00:54:37.599 --> 00:54:40.000
And I was pretty sure personality would not like that.
00:54:40.079 --> 00:54:41.920
So I was not gonna interrupt you as soon.
00:54:42.000 --> 00:54:44.480
You know, like I was like, mm, we're gonna wait on that.
00:54:44.719 --> 00:54:54.800
But um, but that like how I just want to invite you to notice like what's happening right now is you're like holding your chest or whatever, whatever was it Lynn said, 'cause at some point you did that too.
00:54:54.880 --> 00:55:03.119
Like you were like holding your arm and it seemed to give you containment to be able to tell the story when you were starting to tell the story.
00:55:03.280 --> 00:55:06.079
Like you started out in this sort of like this position.
00:55:06.320 --> 00:55:06.719
Sure.
00:55:06.960 --> 00:55:24.719
And then you um and so if we were had a like a client practitioner relationship where it felt supportive for me to point something like that out, I would have, but I felt like it would have been bad for rapport, basically, and like distracting, and that's so I didn't say it, but it it happened.
00:55:24.800 --> 00:55:32.159
Like you were like this, and you started, and you had like some tension like in your jaw and your face, and then as you started telling, is this okay?
00:55:32.320 --> 00:55:32.480
Yeah.
00:55:33.039 --> 00:55:34.079
And like, I think this is what you want me to do.
00:55:34.719 --> 00:55:35.360
This is exactly what you're doing.
00:55:37.199 --> 00:55:44.559
Um and then as you were telling the story, you kind of like took up more a little more space and you had more energy.
00:55:44.639 --> 00:56:02.239
There was like movement, and we want movement, we want flux, we want things to be able to shift, and so it was really cool to watch the shift as you told the story, and as you told about the hard parts and the empowering parts, and just like the all those emotions and like feelings you moved through, and like places you were in your body, and just like how you were showing up for yourself.
00:56:02.320 --> 00:56:08.159
Like it was super cool to get to see and like witness and hold space for.
00:56:08.320 --> 00:56:19.599
And yeah, I had no idea I didn't want to tell my story before I did SE because I'm a talker, I'm a very talkative person, and I have like a talking compulsion.
00:56:19.760 --> 00:56:23.599
It's one of my main like coping mechanisms I've used in my life.
00:56:23.840 --> 00:56:31.840
And so when I was gonna start telling my story, and Lynn was like, would it be okay if you took a breath right now?
00:56:32.079 --> 00:56:37.679
Or if you noticed, I don't remember what she said, this was like years and years ago, but and I was dysregulated.
00:56:37.840 --> 00:56:39.039
So I don't know.
00:56:39.280 --> 00:56:47.039
More maybe it was like, would it be okay if you notice how it feels to have your hand on your chest right now and to have that support?
00:56:48.480 --> 00:57:08.000
And just like, I just like I've broke because it was like, oh my god, you see me! Like my nervous system was like dialing it up, and like I'm a person who used to be have SE doesn't do diagnoses, but it has like one, which is global high intensity activation.
00:57:08.480 --> 00:57:15.840
So I had a nervous system that was up cranked up all the fucking time, except for when I was just crashing, right?
00:57:15.920 --> 00:57:18.000
Like that that's how I lived my life.
00:57:18.880 --> 00:57:21.280
So sorry.
00:57:21.519 --> 00:57:22.400
I have to feel my feelings.
00:57:28.320 --> 00:57:32.719
Uh something that I used to be have someone have to interrupt me to do, and it was very awkward.
00:57:32.800 --> 00:57:34.960
Like, would it be okay if you took a breath right now?
00:57:35.039 --> 00:57:36.559
Like I remember that was like my first therapy.
00:57:36.639 --> 00:57:37.119
Now I just do it.
00:57:37.360 --> 00:57:38.320
Now you're doing it yourself.
00:57:38.639 --> 00:57:39.360
Just do it myself.
00:57:39.440 --> 00:57:41.679
I was like, that was more activation than we can handle.
00:57:41.840 --> 00:57:47.360
We're gonna take a second, lean away from the mic and let it pass and let it be here.
00:57:47.519 --> 00:57:55.599
And being able to do that to just sit with your own activation and have more capacity for it and then let it go and keep observer online.
00:57:55.840 --> 00:57:56.960
Like, we're also big on that.
00:57:57.039 --> 00:57:59.840
Like, can I can I be with this thing?
00:58:00.079 --> 00:58:05.840
Can I still see here, sit here and see it and like communicate about it while I'm with it is another thing.
00:58:06.000 --> 00:58:07.760
And so we don't do that right away though, right?
00:58:07.840 --> 00:58:11.920
Like, that's where this is like a perfect, like a real first session, just do it like SE.
00:58:12.159 --> 00:58:17.199
The agenda is to have no agenda except for the one that your system is bringing that you don't even know about.
00:58:17.440 --> 00:58:18.960
Like, that's the agenda.
00:58:19.840 --> 00:58:38.320
Yeah, and that was that was yeah, that was a really interesting part where I was just like connections were happening naturally without me trying to like be like, all right, we're uh like let's come up with like the story here, or where this it was just sort of like it would just come into my mind.
00:58:38.639 --> 00:58:43.280
Um, it all felt like it would come in perfect timing or something.
00:58:43.519 --> 00:58:46.880
Uh you would ask a question and the answer would sort of be there.
00:58:47.119 --> 00:58:47.440
Yeah.
00:58:47.599 --> 00:58:50.400
Uh so that was a really like nice, flowy part.
00:58:50.960 --> 00:58:55.199
And that's why I really mean it that you were really good at it because like you weren't fighting that.
00:58:55.360 --> 00:58:57.920
Like you were like, oh, you want to show up with answers?
00:58:58.159 --> 00:58:59.840
Okay, we'll just let you happen.
00:59:00.079 --> 00:59:05.840
Like, if that's how it seemed to me, is like you weren't like, excuse me, I would like to take the mic back.
00:59:06.000 --> 00:59:07.760
Like I don't know about this.
00:59:08.000 --> 00:59:09.440
You were like, this is pretty good.
00:59:09.599 --> 00:59:10.400
This is okay.
00:59:10.559 --> 00:59:11.280
I can do this.
00:59:11.440 --> 00:59:14.480
I don't know, that's my story of what I think I saw.
00:59:14.639 --> 00:59:16.239
Was just that you really let it flow.
00:59:16.320 --> 00:59:19.920
Like it seemed like that was just organically happening and organismically happening.
00:59:20.000 --> 00:59:33.119
And I asked you a couple times about the breaths, but besides that, I didn't really even ask questions about that because it just seemed so clear that you really were letting your system do what it needed to do and you're trusting that process.
00:59:34.000 --> 00:59:34.719
Felt like that.
00:59:34.880 --> 00:59:35.360
Yeah.
00:59:35.920 --> 00:59:36.559
Yeah.
00:59:37.199 --> 00:59:37.599
All right.
00:59:37.760 --> 00:59:46.880
I don't have any other questions except, you know, are you taking on new clients or, you know, uh, whatever we call that, I guess.
00:59:46.960 --> 00:59:50.239
Um I still I use clients with the academic coaching at work.
00:59:50.400 --> 00:59:51.840
So like I'm like, yeah, it's fine.
00:59:52.159 --> 00:59:54.719
So somatic experiencing seekers, perhaps.
00:59:54.960 --> 00:59:56.000
Yeah, that's fun.
00:59:56.079 --> 00:59:58.000
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:59:58.159 --> 01:00:00.960
People who want to work on nervous system literacy and empowerment.
01:00:01.360 --> 01:00:01.760
Yeah.
01:00:02.159 --> 01:00:03.119
And trauma healing.
01:00:03.360 --> 01:00:03.599
Yeah.
01:00:03.840 --> 01:00:05.119
How would people find you?
01:00:05.280 --> 01:00:10.480
And if you aren't available, is there like a directory or a place where people can find a somatic experiencing person?
01:00:11.280 --> 01:00:11.840
Great question.
01:00:12.000 --> 01:00:18.800
There is a directory, SEI, like somatic experiencing international, which I think is like traumahealing.org is their website.
01:00:18.960 --> 01:00:19.199
Thank you.
01:00:19.440 --> 01:00:19.679
I think so.
01:00:19.840 --> 01:00:20.000
Yes.
01:00:20.320 --> 01:00:22.159
We think um it will be in the notes, I'm sure.
01:00:22.320 --> 01:00:23.199
It will, yes.
01:00:23.519 --> 01:00:25.119
Um, they have a directory.
01:00:25.280 --> 01:00:26.400
I need to get myself in it.
01:00:26.480 --> 01:00:28.159
There's tech support bureaucracy.
01:00:28.239 --> 01:00:30.639
I'm neurodivergent, so that takes me a second.
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Obstacles, but I will be in there.
01:00:32.719 --> 01:00:39.039
Um, and I will be online at fenrearhealing.com, fenreer like Fenris Wolf.
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You have Fenrir coasters now from Fenrear Creations.
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So my last name is like has Wolf in it.
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And uh anyway, there's a whole story about that.
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It'll be on my website.
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When my website goes live, I'll have the why is this the name of my thing.
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Yeah.
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Um, so that website will have my contact information and people can um sign up for like that initial consultation.
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Like I was saying, I think when we weren't recording, so I'll say it again, that most schematic experiencing folks will do like an initial consult with someone to just let them know what is this thing and like what would that be, and people can kind of have an informed yeah, yeah.
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See if this is what they want to try.
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And so I'll have something for signing up for that initial like conversation.
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That's not a session, that's about just like being informed and like checking out the vibe, like you said, um, as well as to sign up for appointments.
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So yeah, cool, yeah.
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And I get and practicing out of this, like I live in a friggin' paradise, and so I get to practice out of not my house, so I don't have to deal with the tension that comes with that, but my father-in-law's house, which is just down the hill, which has a separate entrance for this beautiful little space, and so I have access to like trees and like nature there if that's something that's available for someone or useful, and I'll do Zoom too.
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So I'll do in-person and philometh as well as Zoom with wherever anyone.
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Since I'm not a licensed, since I'm a non-licensed weirdo, an unlicensed weirdo.
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Yeah, yeah.
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That was our um our group.
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The unlicensed group training we decided to someone in the group was like, we shall name ourselves the unlicensed weirdos group.
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And I love it so much.
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So yes, as an unlicensed weirdo, I can work with anyone.
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Nice.
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Cool.