Tyona Vallejo: Hello and welcome to Enough In Evolving Podcast. I'm your host, Tyona Vallejo, master certified life coach and mindfulness expert, helping you reclaim confidence, break through unhelpful patterns and manifest the relationships and life you desire. Now let's get started.
speaker-0: All right, welcome back to the podcast. Today I am so, so, so, so excited. I get to have a conversation with one of my very favorite people. She is my coach. I spent what was it like a year and a half with you coaching, deep diving. my goodness. And I learned so much from this woman, and I'm so excited to share her with you guys today. Her name is Jamie Berman, and she is a master certified coach with over a decade of experience helping entrepreneurs transform their relationship with money. And I can attest to that. She helps them expand what they believe is possible and create more abundance in their lives and businesses. Through her group coaching programs, retreats, and the Money Manifestation and Business Podcast, Jamie has helped. thousands of people deep in their relationship with money manifestation and themselves. I'm so excited. It's an honor to bring her on, Jamie Berman. Thank you so much for being here, Jamie.
speaker-1: I cannot wait for this conversation. I have been just waiting for this. So thank you. Thank you.
speaker-0: I know we get to talk all the fun stuff, the business, making money, manifestation, the woo. Well, let's dive in. And I think the first thing that I'd love to share with the listeners why our relationship with money is so challenging sometimes. And the fact that really it's maybe not about money, but it's, you know, about other stuff.
speaker-1: absolutely I think Money is something that we're all gonna have in our lives forever. So it's important to look at this relationship and look at how do you relate to money? How do you feel around it? How do you think about money? what behaviors do you have with it? And Are those serving you or not? They say, you know, studies show it's one of the biggest stressors that people have. It's one of the leading causes of divorce. It's one of the leading causes of, you know, business struggles. And so it really matters to kind of take a look at it and say, what is my relationship with money? And the truth is, most people. Don't grow up with a beautiful, abundant relationship with money. So many of us established our relationship with money before we were even eight years old, before our conscious mind was even formed. How did we establish it? Well, we just witnessed how our parents talked about it. We witnessed how those around us, how the maybe church or our religion brought up money or didn't bring up money or was it hush hush, you're not supposed to talk about it. Right. So so much of our relationship with with money comes from our culture and society around us. And money has been one of those topics, especially for women, that has been like one of those, you don't talk about it. And Problem with that is if we don't talk about it, how do we improve it? Right? Yeah. How do we change it? I mean, if you think about it, women couldn't even get a business loan without a man's signature until the year, like believe it was 1986. It was one of those late 80s. Yeah. women couldn't even get credit cards without a man's signature until I think it was the 70s. So it really Was that long ago that we had no control, no power, no ability to really even handle money without someone else or without a man's presence. So that's why I just see there's so much work to do. So if you feel like you're someone who like has a negative relationship with money or has scarcity or has avoidance, I always say no shame, like no shame at all. Of course. What do you expect? Like Our parents or our grandparents probably didn't even grow up with the ability to have any control over their money. So it hasn't been passed down to us. So this is really like the first generation where we get to explore and say, Hey, who do we want to be with money? And that's a beautiful question to ask.
speaker-0: I love how you talked about no shame Can you share something from maybe your story on how you were able to overcome some of the shame that you might have experienced around money? Cause I do believe that that's something that I know I struggled with and I know a lot of women. tend to experience around money.
speaker-1: Absolutely. So I would say it came up for me pretty strongly whenever I met my now husband. But when we started dating and he was already making money, he started creating success at a pretty young age. He he didn't end up going to college because he got published as a songwriter. So he really started working when he was 18 years old and just doubling down, pretty much had this super strong vision of becoming a songwriter, didn't do anything else. You know, he's like, I missed out on the social life as you know, as a young adult, but he doubled down, he worked, you know, very hard around the clock, had this strong vision to create this, and he did it. And he had a lot of success by the time that I met him. I, on the other hand, did not have a lot of success. I was living paycheck to paycheck. I had a lot of student loan debt. I was working in retail, making just over minimum wage, trying to make ends meet, living in Los Angeles, wanting to kind of go back to school, but trying to figure out like I didn't have my parents supporting me or anything like that. So I was very much in just a, you know, live day-to-day kind of survival mode of like, how do I make ends meet? And I met him and I remember even whenever we met, I was like, I don't think he's gonna want to be with me because I'm just not in that place. He's so successful. And I was working at Nordstrom at the time, and I remember even like the shame of just like the fact that, you know, and I I mean there's no shame around it now. It's just the shame that I was holding of making ends meet and making just over minimum wage and So I lied to him in the beginning because and it came from the emotion of shame. And I was just like, Yes, I mean I told him I'm a makeup artist, but I didn't tell him I was working at a Bobby Brown counter and working at all at Nordstrom. Yeah. And then like as time went on, I was like, I think I need to tell him the truth. Like I and he was like, I remember I told him, he's like, that's awesome. Like, what are you talking? Like, no, for him, it was nothing. He wasn't looking for that, but I was thinking, Well, I have to show up as an equal. I don't want to rely on a man. I don't want to look like I'm after him for his money. I'm obviously not. But I had a lot of shame around where I was financially and having all this debt. And I was just worried that he wouldn't like me because of it. And that really carried on because he had had that success. But I was always trying to show up as equal in terms of financially. And so I was really grinding and I just I I always felt like, how come I can't make it? How come all these other people can? I looked around. I was living in Los Angeles, you know, in Venice Beach. And I'm like, who are these kids and how do they afford these apartments and stuff? You know? And I just I felt so much shame that I couldn't make it happen. And I felt like I'd been working so hard for so long. I started working at 11 years old and Just felt like no matter what, no matter how many hours I put in or how much effort or how much education I had, I I was still in that struggle. Yeah. And I was always trying to push to create more. And it didn't work. It didn't work at all. And it wasn't until I started actually doing work around money, this was years later, where we were practic I think it was by the point we were actually getting married or married. And I remember thinking, like, wait a minute, now we're a unit. Like he is willing to help me and support me and making my dreams come true. And I'm over here in resistance, saying I need I should be somewhere else. And I wouldn't receive from him. Like I would not let myself, I would I felt so much shame in him helping out or him paying more for our bills. And I thought, I don't want to be this person, right? And they were just like, A lot of that emotion tied up in it. And it really wasn't until I realized, like, wait a minute, what if this can be easier than I'm making it? What if it's safe to receive? Right. Not, you know, I'm I mean, in different circumstances, you know, in different relationships, maybe it's not. From what I saw growing up, it wasn't safe to receive. But in this situation, I know it's safe. And so what if I put this shame down? What if I'm okay with where I am? What if I let myself build from here, but not from a place of shame? Like what if I let myself receive and just believe it can be easy and see this as a channel of wealth that's coming through in this moment? And, you know, I still want to create what I want to create, but what if I let the process be easier and let him give to me? He's fine with it. He wants to. And so I allowed the support in and you know, went all in on life coaching and my career. And it was truly whenever I like let put that shame down and made it okay to be where I was and see understand why I was where I was and started working on my relationship with money. And that's when like things did open up and shift for me. And it felt like this massive weight was let go of. So yeah, that's just one instance. But there was I I grew up with a lot of shit.
speaker-0: Yes, I love that story. I resonate with it so much. As you know, because you've coached me for a year and a half, I carried so much of that same shame and the misbeliefs growing up that, you know, you had to hustle and work harder and push and what's wrong with me and asking all the questions of the, you know, almost the wrong questions of, Why am I not enough? Why can they make it? And I can't. Yeah. And just getting stuck in that. I see that a lot in my clients as well. Of course, as you know, as a coach, we often attract who we've been, right? And what we've healed. And so what would you say to that person that is believing that And they might not even hear it as I'm not good enough. I feel like that that, you know, when we say it, it's just so generic, but it's almost like I you really it described it so well in that situation with your husband of not believing that the where you were working was worthy enough to share with him and and in Like when you said the story, in my mind I was like, Ooh, that's even cooler. And and it's so funny because I was a makeup artist too. Yeah, no way. But yeah, yeah, yeah. And so I used to do the freelance, but I was like, I always thought that was cool too, to be a makeup artist at the you know, at Nordstrom or something like that. That would be fun. And and they get a, you know, a regular paycheck. It's not just freelance.
speaker-1: Totally. there's so many things now that I'm like, my gosh, why didn't I favor this aspect of it or this? I know so much. Yes.
speaker-0: Just because of the belief underneath it, that vibration, that that identity that you are really attached to of thinking that you're less than somehow. And so I think you said it really beautifully when you said I was always trying to strive to be equal. And I resonated with that so much for so long. It was like my 'Cause my husband's a doctor and I did this entrepreneur path and so it was very different and in some ways and other ways not. But I remember just always thinking I need to like make at least as much as him or or more. I like I need to be his equal. There was like that whole it what I didn't realize at the time was a big red flag of girl. You need some cleaning up of the relationship with money and your identity to do. Yeah. So what would you say to that woman who is maybe seeing herself in some of the things that we're talking about? Where are some of the places she can start to really clean up her relationship with money?
speaker-1: Yeah, I think it's just first probably reflecting on the feelings that you have because a lot of times it's hard to address or spot what we call limiting beliefs or money blocks. Why? Because they're blocks for a reason. We can't see them in our own brain, right? So it can be hard to even notice that that's what we're in. I didn't notice until In hindsight, that that was my story and that's what was going on while I was living it. I was like, this is just what is, this is how life is, right? Because that's the lens that we see through. Yes. So one helpful way is well, I'll give actually two things that were really helpful for me in addressing my relationship with money. Number one was noticing how you feel. Sometimes feelings are easier to recognize or notice than thoughts are. Right. So I started with noticing how do I feel whenever I'm looking at my bank account, whenever I log in. my gosh, so bad that I didn't even do it. So I started recognizing there's anxiety there, there's an emotion there, there's shame. I don't know what it is, but I feel bad. And so what am I thinking? Right. And so oftentimes it's helpful to start with the feeling, get into what do I feel whenever I'm thinking about money or thinking about making more money or Setting a money goal or observing my money, what comes up within me? Is there an emotion? Is there a tightness? Hmm from that tightness, then we can explore: is there a story behind that? Why am I tight? We don't get tight without a story behind it. Yeah. There's some story or belief. And that can be really helpful to start with the feeling and then say, well, what am I thinking? So I would look at for anyone who's wanting to improve your relationship with money, what's one. Area of money that you just like think about your year or think about your week. When do you get tight around money? Is it when taxes come up? Is it when you spend money? Is it when you look at it? Start addressing one thing. What's one circumstance that tends to trigger you? Work with that first. Because that's going to be very revealing. And how we do one thing is oftentimes how we do many things. So if you can look at one situation that's very specific and say, what's the feeling that comes up when I'm contracted there? What am I thinking? What's going through my mind? Is it that I'm not going to have enough? I'm giving it all away. This isn't fair. That's going to be the story that you want to look at. Mm-hmm. And that's where you can actually observe it and say, this is the story I've been holding on to. This is the story. And it's helpful to hold it as a story, not a truth, but like this is maybe what I grew up believing. Yeah. And so that you can start working it. Right. Right. So that's one way that's helpful. Another thing that I used to do is start to journal. And I would do what we call SAT downloads in the coaching world. Yeah. Where I actually Something I did to bring up a lot of my money drama was I set a really audacious money goal or a quote unquote impossible money goal. because what that did, and I knew this was like I started learning about coaching, I knew that that would bring up the beliefs that were in the way of creating it. So I set a hundred thousand dollar money goal in my business and I was At that time making $14,000 a year. So it felt totally impossible. I'm like, whoa, that's way more. That's like, yeah, yeah, 100%. That's a lot. That's almost 10 axing. Right. And and so I would journal then on that, like that the beliefs around that. What comes up whenever I think about making $100,000? Of course, I'm not smart enough. Who am I to? How is this gonna happen? All these, and you have to just recognize these are thoughts. And you can journal this out, do a thought download about a money goal, and it will reveal what's going on in your brain and what your relationship with money is. And mine was very much not believing in myself, not believing in my ability to do it. So I played small. I just wouldn't set money goals. Or if I did, I would feel really, you know, just uncomfortable with it. And like there's no way it would happen. Yeah. So that was really revealing that my relationship with money was one of like believing I'm not capable. Yeah, it's for other people, not me. So I could get to work on that and see, wow, that's what if that's a story? Like, what if that's not true?
speaker-0: Yeah. What about when the person is believing that it's not a story that you're you're just so in it, right? You get so just lost and you're just like, This is not a story, this is a circumstance, this is really happening to me when I look at my bank account and there's you know hardly any money in it or whatever, and it feels bad. How do I just see that as just a story.
speaker-1: Yeah, totally. Good question. Well, no other way to put it. Don't do this alone. Like it's so much harder to get out of our stories by ourselves. I couldn't. If I if I could say, you know what, just journal through my friend, like I would say do it. But like my path was not that. I really did. I invested in coaching. And got someone to really help me see that it was a story. Yes, I could do the journaling and the work and start like planting the seeds of it, but I wasn't able to get out of it on my own. And I really attributed it to having a coach that helped me see and helped me see other perspectives or other ways of looking at it, or even to say, Jamie, you're right. In this exact moment, this is where you are. But maybe the story you're holding on to is that this is what it's going to be forever. Or I've made these mistakes in the past. So this is who I am. They gave me really fresh new perspectives that I don't think I could have thought of on my own. Yes. That I could lean into and I could believe and that I would practice those. So it really opened the door for me. So I can't just give you like one, two, three steps, do it on your own, clear it out. It's because it's continuous
speaker-0: Work for that.
speaker-1: work too. It's It's not something that is gonna just like let me do this for a month and then it's gonna it it will shift a hundred percent and you will start seeing that in your life. Yeah. But it's it like any relationship. Yeah, it's a relationship you're gonna work on, you know, and there's gonna be new things that come up and there's gonna be layers. So yeah, for me, I just think especially if you're like an entrepreneur or a woman or somebody who is, you know, wanting to build more wealth. It's something to invest in, investing your brain around it. And that can look like a coach, that can look like a therapist, that can look like EFT tapping. You know, there's so many modalities that can help you with that. But for me, my path was through coaching and it literally made all the difference. And especially if you're like, I cannot see that this is a story. I can't see a way out. Right. I was there too. Like. A hundred percent. Right. And it was a big stretch for me to invest in a coach. And it was scary, especially because I was in scarcity and shame. Like wasn't easy to make that investment, but I knew it would make a difference. I had this hunch that that was like, I was like, I'm not gonna make it in business if I don't address this. Yes. Yes.
speaker-0: So when you said something about scarcity right now, it reminded me of how I loved working with you because you would often tell me to come back to the body, which is, you know, totally speaking my language. Yeah. So I feel like that's why I resonated with your coaching so much. Because I've had, you know, tons of mindset coaching, which I totally believe in a hundred percent. But I do believe there is the nervous system body component that we really need to pay attention to. So is there any recommendations that you give as far as people that are always feeling scarcity in their body is there anything that helped you kind of move from especially when you just talked about Taking that big investment, doing that big investment in coaching, what kind of helped you calm your body when you were experiencing scarcity enough to be able to take that inspired action?
speaker-1: Yeah, that's a great question. in my body, well, I think always coming back to for me coming to meditation, which for me is also very much a physical experience because I witness myself kind of stepping out of my scarcity and can kind of place myself just through visual into a more open, safe space and reminding myself and my body to relax and that I'm safe and that I'm resourced. So it's that. And you know, I think the other thing that I did a lot through kind of meditation visualization coming into the body was not trying to go from scarcity to abundance, but instead go from scarcity to sufficiency. Yes. And so I think a lot of times we think we're Failing because we're trying to go too far too fast. Yes. Versus inching our way towards what I'll call a more open feeling, a more expanded feeling. Not necessarily a better feeling, maybe it is better, but a more expanded something where you you're able to relax your muscles, you're you feel safer. Let's say it's a safer feeling. So going into sufficiency felt safer than scarcity, but I wasn't trying to go over to I'm making all the money in the world and I'm so abundant and I believe in myself fully. It was like, no, how am I okay now? What do I have? Right. Or even like a lot of people love practicing gratitude because that brings you into a place of sufficiency. So I think trying to take a baby step is going to be a lot more powerful, whether that's doing it through You know, the physical and what you're feeling in your body, not going from deep fear and scarcity, but just coming to safety, coming to sufficiency. Don't try to go all the way over to abundance or fearlessness or whatever. Yeah. You don't have to go that far. Just coming to safety makes a huge difference. And the questions that we ask ourselves are powerful because our subconscious will answer any question that we ask. So when you notice yourself in a very panicked, fearful state. Scarce state. It can be really helpful to ask empowering questions. And you can write these down so that you can come back to them and remember it's like, how am I okay in this moment? In what ways am I safe now? Even looking at like sometimes looking at the past, have I been through a tough moment in the past that I got myself through? I know how to get myself through this. We're not denying your current experience. We're not saying it's not a tough opportunity. Obstacle or challenge, but we're saying tapping into resourcefulness. So that's actually one of my other favorite kind of feelings or thoughts is like I'm resourceful because that is an abundant energy. Yeah. It doesn't mean you have all the money right now. It doesn't mean you have all the business. It doesn't mean that, you know, it has to be perfect. But if you believe I'm resourceful, I'm someone who figures things out. That will expand you and open you up and move you towards the feeling of abundance. Yes. So that's what I recommend. Whether you're doing it through mindset, whether you're doing it through nervous system is or emotional states, is move very gently and slowly. Like don't try to jump because it doesn't. The body won't jump. It won't unless you're like having some kind of ayahuasca experience or you know, like in some
speaker-0: Then you're puking up to her.
speaker-1: Everything, right? Maybe that would work, but like on a day to day basis, when we're doing this work, it's incremental, but that incremental changes your whole life. It can change everything. And just moving from that state of panic into safety can change your whole day. Yeah. Yeah.
speaker-0: my gosh, you're dropping bombs. I'm loving this. I'm loving this. So good. so one thing that I I think that people struggle with a lot in manifestation is exactly what you're talking about, where they're feeling they're like they're stuck in scarcity and they're like, okay, they learned this manifestation idea, technique, whatever, principle, philosophy. And then they're they're like, yeah, let's let's try that. And they try to jump too far over to yes, I am abundant, using the affirmations or something like that of like imagining I have all this money and it's like and then they feel like, well, that manifestation doesn't work, right?
speaker-1: Yes. Yes. Yeah. And sometimes it can actually be more detrimental because what we're doing is we get ourselves into a wanting energy and when we visualize it, all we see is what we don't have. Yeah. So It really, when it comes to manifesting, you have to start learning to tune into how you feel, which is why your work is so important, the work that you do on nervous system. Because if it's a manifestation technique that doesn't feel good, it's not gonna work. Or if it doesn't land for you, it's not gonna work. If you feel like you're just doing it to check off the to-do's of manifesting, it's not gonna work. The point of manifesting is What does it feel like in your body? Does it open you up? Does it expand you? Does it feel good? Yeah. But if you're feeling worse, like it's further away or you're more and more attached to it, the more you look at your vision board, it's doing the opposite for you. It's just keeping you stuck. Yeah. We don't want to do it to get into wanting energy, right? How you manifest is actually getting into having energy, being an energetic match in quotes, right? That's how we call it. Like Matching the energy of the version of you that has it, the version of you that hasn't isn't in longing, isn't in wanting, isn't in attachment. The version of you who has it is in safety, is in sufficiency. They actually don't put that thing on a pedestal. They don't really care anymore once they have they're like, I thought it was gonna be amazing. It's actually just life as normal, but maybe I have more conveniences. It's nice to have. It's not some high, right? So when it comes to manifesting, if it doesn't make you feel good or if it puts you in attachment, longing, wanting, scarcity, pressure, it's not gonna work for you. So I'm a big fan of like the work, as you know, the work that I teach is I'll give a lot of different practices, but really it's like what feels good to you, what works for you, what lights you up. Cause those practices. So look for the Practices that light you up, that light your energy up, that get you excited, that make you feel in a more expanded state. And that's what you want to continuously practice. And it might evolve and change too. Right. But if you're feeling worse, and I have a funny story about this actually, when I was makeup artist and I was driving all over Southern California for jobs, yeah, I got Louise Hayes affirmations. CD back at the time. Put that little CD in my Prius and I would listen to it for like two hours driving to, you know, Santa Barbara. And it was just they they were beautiful thoughts that were very expansive, but it was so far from where I was. It was like, I am this beautiful being and I'm so worthy and I'm abundant and money flows to me. And I would. Repeated it, but I didn't feel it in my body at all. Cause I was like, that's such a joke. Like I'm driving two hours to do this little job and like jug making ends meet and I had to say yes to this job just to like get groceries this week, you know. So like I was not where I was. Yeah. It didn't work at all. Not that like I still don't I I still think it was a great thing that I listened to it because it was probably planting the seed of where I want to go, which is great. Right. But it wasn't. Working, you know, because I didn't feel it. I didn't believe it. And you really have to believe it in your body for manifestation to work. Right.
speaker-0: So with someone just learning how to connect with their body, what are some of the simple practices that you might recommend that they start to try to see if it resonates with them or not?
speaker-1: Yeah, I think it's like just asking the question, does this feel good or bad? Or does this feel open or closed? This practice. Do I feel another one is do I feel more empowered afterwards? Or do I feel a little more open afterwards? Or do I feel more closed? Like if you start asking yourself the questions, you'll answer it and you'll get more in tune. So I think it's just setting the intention that you want to start noticing how you feel. Because If we're not trying to notice it, we won't notice it, most likely. But if you ask the question and tune in, I believe we can just start getting more and more access to it. And I believe it's also something that strengthens over time. It's not like it happened to me overnight. It was just a practice of tuning in. And then I also believe that's how we can strengthen our intuition too, because a lot of us feel our intuition through our bodies. And so that question is like. For me, that's how I know if it's intuition or not is do I feel expanded? Does this feel lighter? Does this feel right? And I know it's something to follow then and it feels right to follow it. It doesn't always feel sometimes it feels a little scary, but it feels right in my being. So yeah, I think just asking like, so if you do any kind of like morning routines, even noticing if you go work out, do I feel more energized after you're aware of how you feel right then? You know? Yeah.
speaker-0: that's so good.
speaker-1: Do you have any others to add?
speaker-0: Man, I just love how you just the simple intention of asking, does this feel open or closed? It really
speaker-1: Yeah.
speaker-0: is so powerful just to tap into do I feel like constricted in my body or expansive in my body? Yeah. You know, just that is yeah, that is a really great place to always start to connect. Yeah. And
speaker-1: Yeah.
speaker-0: setting the intention to ask, right?
speaker-1: Yeah. Yeah. A hundred percent. And if you are someone who wants to get more in tune with your emotions, if you feel like you've been kind of blocked from feeling, which can be very powerful to start feeling. Right. I know online you can get like emotion wheels, like a lot of coaching schools have them. They're online, just an emotion wheel. And that was really helpful for me of starting to identify specifically what is the emotion. Okay, now I feel open. I know that much, but like, what's the specific feeling? Let's look at this. I think it's closest to this. Yeah. Interesting. Right. Right. I
speaker-0: love Abraham Hicks has that emotional guidance letter or whatever that they talk about, right? I love that too. That really was helpful, especially for understanding that you know we can't go from feeling shame or guilt and jump so high into gratitude and joy. We have to kind of move slowly up the ladder. So what's like the next best thing in that direction? Yeah.
speaker-1: So good. Absolutely.
speaker-0: Absolutely. Beautiful. What is one belief about money that you wish women would just release?
speaker-1: My gosh, number one is just this belief that I can't have more than enough, or I already have enough. So I shouldn't want more. Who am I to want more? Because the truth, like if you think about it, notice how that's limiting the world. When more women have money, when more female leaders have money, good things happen. I believe that the world would change in such a powerful way if we got more money in the hands of more women. Because we do. I mean, women are very we're we tend to be more community focused, family fo right. Like we think about ways to utilize that money and circulate money in super powerful ways that make a huge impact. And so when you think thoughts like I can't have more than enough, what you're saying is also I don't trust myself to circulate money in the right way or in in the best way. And I I would want you to question that. Why not? Right. I love that visual of like a rising tide raises all ships. Yeah. So when you limit yourself, you're not raising the tide. Well, guess what? Everyone else isn't able to rise too. So I love that visual. If I let myself rise, what if I made more money and it impacts the world in a good way? What does that look like? In a positive way. Yeah. Right. Instead of feeling guilt, what if I can use empathy to tap in and see how I can circulate money to do really good things in the world? Yes. And I see this with heart-centered people. I mean, we've seen this in the master. What happens when more women make money? It's it's like beauty goes out into the world, impact goes out into the world, change happens. So that's one that I really wish if anyone has that, they would start to question it. Yeah. And look at like, wait a minute, the way that I worked with that myself, because I had it, was I just started to look at, okay, let's say I did have more money. What would I do with it? Yeah. And could that make a positive impact on the world? And I recognized, like, wait a minute, I would hire more support. I'd probably have a cleaning lady come instead of once a month, maybe once a week, which would give her more work. And I could actually give her a bigger tip too if I had more money. And like I could actually do generous things for my family that would be beautiful experiences for them. I'd be able to employ more people. I'd be able to, you know what I mean? Like give more to the things that matter to me. And on top of it, let's not forget ourselves because that is one thing that empathetic women tend to do is we forget our. We're like, okay, if I make more, let's where can I give it all away? And it really is important to also fuel yourself. How can you use it? To thrive more, to be more radiant, to be more healthy, to feel more alive. What can you do to light your life up? So that at the end of your life you say, dang, I lived. This was amazing. I lived, I gave, I nurtured them and myself. Yeah. So that's I would say the thought.
speaker-0: my goodness, Jamie, you have given us so much expansion. I am just loving, loving, loving our conversation. I want it to keep going on and on and on. but I'm gonna close up today and I wanna ask you one final question that I love to ask all of the listeners because of the name of our podcast, Enough and Evolving. Where are you currently evolving and what does being enough and evolving mean to you in this season of your life?
speaker-1: God, such a good question. I love it. Yeah. And you know, we touched on this a bit, but I'm in a a bit of a, I don't, I wouldn't, it's just a little bit of a life reinvention where I have been through a season of a lot of growth in my business and in that period. That Area of my life with financially business, creating impact, putting myself out there, growing as a leader. That's really been the last 10 years. And so, and I recently moved to Maui from Los Angeles, and that's been a huge shift. Talk about, I mean, and not only living in Maui, I live in like rural Maui on like a three acre fruit orchard in the middle of nowhere.
speaker-0: Gorgeous. If you get a chance, go check her out on on Instagram. She posts a
speaker-1: Totally equitable. Thank you. And it's it's just wild because I went from a hundred to zero overnight, right? Like in and so that can't not impact your life. and so it's just my evolution now has been who do I want to be if business is a part of my life and not 90% of it? You know? Right. And so I'm creating a lot more. Fullness in my life. And it really is a tribute to the work that I have done around money and abundance because I don't think I would have ever felt safe doing that. I like I said, I've always been a worker be always like, you know, creating safety and work. But I've been slowing down, still obsessed with coaching and love it and I love my business, but I'm Evolving in that I am doing things just for fun that are just hobbies. I joined the canoe club. So I go canoeing three times a week with my little community here on Maui and have been supporting my husband some and just resting and enjoying. And that is an evolution for me. And it feels really, really good. I don't know if it it's gonna stay this I I'm very much in a slow season. Now I don't know if it'll stay like this slow, but I'm in a season of that right now just to refuel and fill my own, you know, my own cup first. So that whatever creatively wants to come out of me next will. And I know if something will, it's just like we were talking, it's kind of unknown. I feel like there's yeah, I don't know what it's gonna be.
speaker-0: Sitting in the unknown. Yeah. It's at every level, right? It's at every every level you're you're coming up against that. That's just the nature of this life.
speaker-1: Yeah. And I'm asking, how good can it get? Like surprise me, you know, which is different because I've always been very visionary and knew exactly what I wanted. And now I'm like, I don't have a super clear vision that's really vivid. So let's just be surprised, like something even better than I could have ever expected in terms of what evolves through this.
speaker-0: I love that. I love that. I can't wait to see what unfolds for you. Well, thank you again so much, Jamie, for spending this time with us. And thank you all for tuning in and spending time with us as well. And always you are enough and you are evolving. Have a good one.
speaker-0: All right, welcome back to the podcast. Today I am so, so, so, so excited. I get to have a conversation with one of my very favorite people. She is my coach. I spent what was it like a year and a half with you coaching, deep diving. my goodness. And I learned so much from this woman, and I'm so excited to share her with you guys today. Her name is Jamie Berman, and she is a master certified coach with over a decade of experience helping entrepreneurs transform their relationship with money. And I can attest to that. She helps them expand what they believe is possible and create more abundance in their lives and businesses. Through her group coaching programs, retreats, and the Money Manifestation and Business Podcast, Jamie has helped. thousands of people deep in their relationship with money manifestation and themselves. I'm so excited. It's an honor to bring her on, Jamie Berman. Thank you so much for being here, Jamie.
speaker-1: I cannot wait for this conversation. I have been just waiting for this. So thank you. Thank you.
speaker-0: I know we get to talk all the fun stuff, the business, making money, manifestation, the woo. Well, let's dive in. And I think the first thing that I'd love to share with the listeners why our relationship with money is so challenging sometimes. And the fact that really it's maybe not about money, but it's, you know, about other stuff.
speaker-1: absolutely I think Money is something that we're all gonna have in our lives forever. So it's important to look at this relationship and look at how do you relate to money? How do you feel around it? How do you think about money? what behaviors do you have with it? And Are those serving you or not? They say, you know, studies show it's one of the biggest stressors that people have. It's one of the leading causes of divorce. It's one of the leading causes of, you know, business struggles. And so it really matters to kind of take a look at it and say, what is my relationship with money? And the truth is, most people. Don't grow up with a beautiful, abundant relationship with money. So many of us established our relationship with money before we were even eight years old, before our conscious mind was even formed. How did we establish it? Well, we just witnessed how our parents talked about it. We witnessed how those around us, how the maybe church or our religion brought up money or didn't bring up money or was it hush hush, you're not supposed to talk about it. Right. So so much of our relationship with with money comes from our culture and society around us. And money has been one of those topics, especially for women, that has been like one of those, you don't talk about it. And Problem with that is if we don't talk about it, how do we improve it? Right? Yeah. How do we change it? I mean, if you think about it, women couldn't even get a business loan without a man's signature until the year, like believe it was 1986. It was one of those late 80s. Yeah. women couldn't even get credit cards without a man's signature until I think it was the 70s. So it really Was that long ago that we had no control, no power, no ability to really even handle money without someone else or without a man's presence. So that's why I just see there's so much work to do. So if you feel like you're someone who like has a negative relationship with money or has scarcity or has avoidance, I always say no shame, like no shame at all. Of course. What do you expect? Like Our parents or our grandparents probably didn't even grow up with the ability to have any control over their money. So it hasn't been passed down to us. So this is really like the first generation where we get to explore and say, Hey, who do we want to be with money? And that's a beautiful question to ask.
speaker-0: I love how you talked about no shame Can you share something from maybe your story on how you were able to overcome some of the shame that you might have experienced around money? Cause I do believe that that's something that I know I struggled with and I know a lot of women. tend to experience around money.
speaker-1: Absolutely. So I would say it came up for me pretty strongly whenever I met my now husband. But when we started dating and he was already making money, he started creating success at a pretty young age. He he didn't end up going to college because he got published as a songwriter. So he really started working when he was 18 years old and just doubling down, pretty much had this super strong vision of becoming a songwriter, didn't do anything else. You know, he's like, I missed out on the social life as you know, as a young adult, but he doubled down, he worked, you know, very hard around the clock, had this strong vision to create this, and he did it. And he had a lot of success by the time that I met him. I, on the other hand, did not have a lot of success. I was living paycheck to paycheck. I had a lot of student loan debt. I was working in retail, making just over minimum wage, trying to make ends meet, living in Los Angeles, wanting to kind of go back to school, but trying to figure out like I didn't have my parents supporting me or anything like that. So I was very much in just a, you know, live day-to-day kind of survival mode of like, how do I make ends meet? And I met him and I remember even whenever we met, I was like, I don't think he's gonna want to be with me because I'm just not in that place. He's so successful. And I was working at Nordstrom at the time, and I remember even like the shame of just like the fact that, you know, and I I mean there's no shame around it now. It's just the shame that I was holding of making ends meet and making just over minimum wage and So I lied to him in the beginning because and it came from the emotion of shame. And I was just like, Yes, I mean I told him I'm a makeup artist, but I didn't tell him I was working at a Bobby Brown counter and working at all at Nordstrom. Yeah. And then like as time went on, I was like, I think I need to tell him the truth. Like I and he was like, I remember I told him, he's like, that's awesome. Like, what are you talking? Like, no, for him, it was nothing. He wasn't looking for that, but I was thinking, Well, I have to show up as an equal. I don't want to rely on a man. I don't want to look like I'm after him for his money. I'm obviously not. But I had a lot of shame around where I was financially and having all this debt. And I was just worried that he wouldn't like me because of it. And that really carried on because he had had that success. But I was always trying to show up as equal in terms of financially. And so I was really grinding and I just I I always felt like, how come I can't make it? How come all these other people can? I looked around. I was living in Los Angeles, you know, in Venice Beach. And I'm like, who are these kids and how do they afford these apartments and stuff? You know? And I just I felt so much shame that I couldn't make it happen. And I felt like I'd been working so hard for so long. I started working at 11 years old and Just felt like no matter what, no matter how many hours I put in or how much effort or how much education I had, I I was still in that struggle. Yeah. And I was always trying to push to create more. And it didn't work. It didn't work at all. And it wasn't until I started actually doing work around money, this was years later, where we were practic I think it was by the point we were actually getting married or married. And I remember thinking, like, wait a minute, now we're a unit. Like he is willing to help me and support me and making my dreams come true. And I'm over here in resistance, saying I need I should be somewhere else. And I wouldn't receive from him. Like I would not let myself, I would I felt so much shame in him helping out or him paying more for our bills. And I thought, I don't want to be this person, right? And they were just like, A lot of that emotion tied up in it. And it really wasn't until I realized, like, wait a minute, what if this can be easier than I'm making it? What if it's safe to receive? Right. Not, you know, I'm I mean, in different circumstances, you know, in different relationships, maybe it's not. From what I saw growing up, it wasn't safe to receive. But in this situation, I know it's safe. And so what if I put this shame down? What if I'm okay with where I am? What if I let myself build from here, but not from a place of shame? Like what if I let myself receive and just believe it can be easy and see this as a channel of wealth that's coming through in this moment? And, you know, I still want to create what I want to create, but what if I let the process be easier and let him give to me? He's fine with it. He wants to. And so I allowed the support in and you know, went all in on life coaching and my career. And it was truly whenever I like let put that shame down and made it okay to be where I was and see understand why I was where I was and started working on my relationship with money. And that's when like things did open up and shift for me. And it felt like this massive weight was let go of. So yeah, that's just one instance. But there was I I grew up with a lot of shit.
speaker-0: Yes, I love that story. I resonate with it so much. As you know, because you've coached me for a year and a half, I carried so much of that same shame and the misbeliefs growing up that, you know, you had to hustle and work harder and push and what's wrong with me and asking all the questions of the, you know, almost the wrong questions of, Why am I not enough? Why can they make it? And I can't. Yeah. And just getting stuck in that. I see that a lot in my clients as well. Of course, as you know, as a coach, we often attract who we've been, right? And what we've healed. And so what would you say to that person that is believing that And they might not even hear it as I'm not good enough. I feel like that that, you know, when we say it, it's just so generic, but it's almost like I you really it described it so well in that situation with your husband of not believing that the where you were working was worthy enough to share with him and and in Like when you said the story, in my mind I was like, Ooh, that's even cooler. And and it's so funny because I was a makeup artist too. Yeah, no way. But yeah, yeah, yeah. And so I used to do the freelance, but I was like, I always thought that was cool too, to be a makeup artist at the you know, at Nordstrom or something like that. That would be fun. And and they get a, you know, a regular paycheck. It's not just freelance.
speaker-1: Totally. there's so many things now that I'm like, my gosh, why didn't I favor this aspect of it or this? I know so much. Yes.
speaker-0: Just because of the belief underneath it, that vibration, that that identity that you are really attached to of thinking that you're less than somehow. And so I think you said it really beautifully when you said I was always trying to strive to be equal. And I resonated with that so much for so long. It was like my 'Cause my husband's a doctor and I did this entrepreneur path and so it was very different and in some ways and other ways not. But I remember just always thinking I need to like make at least as much as him or or more. I like I need to be his equal. There was like that whole it what I didn't realize at the time was a big red flag of girl. You need some cleaning up of the relationship with money and your identity to do. Yeah. So what would you say to that woman who is maybe seeing herself in some of the things that we're talking about? Where are some of the places she can start to really clean up her relationship with money?
speaker-1: Yeah, I think it's just first probably reflecting on the feelings that you have because a lot of times it's hard to address or spot what we call limiting beliefs or money blocks. Why? Because they're blocks for a reason. We can't see them in our own brain, right? So it can be hard to even notice that that's what we're in. I didn't notice until In hindsight, that that was my story and that's what was going on while I was living it. I was like, this is just what is, this is how life is, right? Because that's the lens that we see through. Yes. So one helpful way is well, I'll give actually two things that were really helpful for me in addressing my relationship with money. Number one was noticing how you feel. Sometimes feelings are easier to recognize or notice than thoughts are. Right. So I started with noticing how do I feel whenever I'm looking at my bank account, whenever I log in. my gosh, so bad that I didn't even do it. So I started recognizing there's anxiety there, there's an emotion there, there's shame. I don't know what it is, but I feel bad. And so what am I thinking? Right. And so oftentimes it's helpful to start with the feeling, get into what do I feel whenever I'm thinking about money or thinking about making more money or Setting a money goal or observing my money, what comes up within me? Is there an emotion? Is there a tightness? Hmm from that tightness, then we can explore: is there a story behind that? Why am I tight? We don't get tight without a story behind it. Yeah. There's some story or belief. And that can be really helpful to start with the feeling and then say, well, what am I thinking? So I would look at for anyone who's wanting to improve your relationship with money, what's one. Area of money that you just like think about your year or think about your week. When do you get tight around money? Is it when taxes come up? Is it when you spend money? Is it when you look at it? Start addressing one thing. What's one circumstance that tends to trigger you? Work with that first. Because that's going to be very revealing. And how we do one thing is oftentimes how we do many things. So if you can look at one situation that's very specific and say, what's the feeling that comes up when I'm contracted there? What am I thinking? What's going through my mind? Is it that I'm not going to have enough? I'm giving it all away. This isn't fair. That's going to be the story that you want to look at. Mm-hmm. And that's where you can actually observe it and say, this is the story I've been holding on to. This is the story. And it's helpful to hold it as a story, not a truth, but like this is maybe what I grew up believing. Yeah. And so that you can start working it. Right. Right. So that's one way that's helpful. Another thing that I used to do is start to journal. And I would do what we call SAT downloads in the coaching world. Yeah. Where I actually Something I did to bring up a lot of my money drama was I set a really audacious money goal or a quote unquote impossible money goal. because what that did, and I knew this was like I started learning about coaching, I knew that that would bring up the beliefs that were in the way of creating it. So I set a hundred thousand dollar money goal in my business and I was At that time making $14,000 a year. So it felt totally impossible. I'm like, whoa, that's way more. That's like, yeah, yeah, 100%. That's a lot. That's almost 10 axing. Right. And and so I would journal then on that, like that the beliefs around that. What comes up whenever I think about making $100,000? Of course, I'm not smart enough. Who am I to? How is this gonna happen? All these, and you have to just recognize these are thoughts. And you can journal this out, do a thought download about a money goal, and it will reveal what's going on in your brain and what your relationship with money is. And mine was very much not believing in myself, not believing in my ability to do it. So I played small. I just wouldn't set money goals. Or if I did, I would feel really, you know, just uncomfortable with it. And like there's no way it would happen. Yeah. So that was really revealing that my relationship with money was one of like believing I'm not capable. Yeah, it's for other people, not me. So I could get to work on that and see, wow, that's what if that's a story? Like, what if that's not true?
speaker-0: Yeah. What about when the person is believing that it's not a story that you're you're just so in it, right? You get so just lost and you're just like, This is not a story, this is a circumstance, this is really happening to me when I look at my bank account and there's you know hardly any money in it or whatever, and it feels bad. How do I just see that as just a story.
speaker-1: Yeah, totally. Good question. Well, no other way to put it. Don't do this alone. Like it's so much harder to get out of our stories by ourselves. I couldn't. If I if I could say, you know what, just journal through my friend, like I would say do it. But like my path was not that. I really did. I invested in coaching. And got someone to really help me see that it was a story. Yes, I could do the journaling and the work and start like planting the seeds of it, but I wasn't able to get out of it on my own. And I really attributed it to having a coach that helped me see and helped me see other perspectives or other ways of looking at it, or even to say, Jamie, you're right. In this exact moment, this is where you are. But maybe the story you're holding on to is that this is what it's going to be forever. Or I've made these mistakes in the past. So this is who I am. They gave me really fresh new perspectives that I don't think I could have thought of on my own. Yes. That I could lean into and I could believe and that I would practice those. So it really opened the door for me. So I can't just give you like one, two, three steps, do it on your own, clear it out. It's because it's continuous
speaker-0: Work for that.
speaker-1: work too. It's It's not something that is gonna just like let me do this for a month and then it's gonna it it will shift a hundred percent and you will start seeing that in your life. Yeah. But it's it like any relationship. Yeah, it's a relationship you're gonna work on, you know, and there's gonna be new things that come up and there's gonna be layers. So yeah, for me, I just think especially if you're like an entrepreneur or a woman or somebody who is, you know, wanting to build more wealth. It's something to invest in, investing your brain around it. And that can look like a coach, that can look like a therapist, that can look like EFT tapping. You know, there's so many modalities that can help you with that. But for me, my path was through coaching and it literally made all the difference. And especially if you're like, I cannot see that this is a story. I can't see a way out. Right. I was there too. Like. A hundred percent. Right. And it was a big stretch for me to invest in a coach. And it was scary, especially because I was in scarcity and shame. Like wasn't easy to make that investment, but I knew it would make a difference. I had this hunch that that was like, I was like, I'm not gonna make it in business if I don't address this. Yes. Yes.
speaker-0: So when you said something about scarcity right now, it reminded me of how I loved working with you because you would often tell me to come back to the body, which is, you know, totally speaking my language. Yeah. So I feel like that's why I resonated with your coaching so much. Because I've had, you know, tons of mindset coaching, which I totally believe in a hundred percent. But I do believe there is the nervous system body component that we really need to pay attention to. So is there any recommendations that you give as far as people that are always feeling scarcity in their body is there anything that helped you kind of move from especially when you just talked about Taking that big investment, doing that big investment in coaching, what kind of helped you calm your body when you were experiencing scarcity enough to be able to take that inspired action?
speaker-1: Yeah, that's a great question. in my body, well, I think always coming back to for me coming to meditation, which for me is also very much a physical experience because I witness myself kind of stepping out of my scarcity and can kind of place myself just through visual into a more open, safe space and reminding myself and my body to relax and that I'm safe and that I'm resourced. So it's that. And you know, I think the other thing that I did a lot through kind of meditation visualization coming into the body was not trying to go from scarcity to abundance, but instead go from scarcity to sufficiency. Yes. And so I think a lot of times we think we're Failing because we're trying to go too far too fast. Yes. Versus inching our way towards what I'll call a more open feeling, a more expanded feeling. Not necessarily a better feeling, maybe it is better, but a more expanded something where you you're able to relax your muscles, you're you feel safer. Let's say it's a safer feeling. So going into sufficiency felt safer than scarcity, but I wasn't trying to go over to I'm making all the money in the world and I'm so abundant and I believe in myself fully. It was like, no, how am I okay now? What do I have? Right. Or even like a lot of people love practicing gratitude because that brings you into a place of sufficiency. So I think trying to take a baby step is going to be a lot more powerful, whether that's doing it through You know, the physical and what you're feeling in your body, not going from deep fear and scarcity, but just coming to safety, coming to sufficiency. Don't try to go all the way over to abundance or fearlessness or whatever. Yeah. You don't have to go that far. Just coming to safety makes a huge difference. And the questions that we ask ourselves are powerful because our subconscious will answer any question that we ask. So when you notice yourself in a very panicked, fearful state. Scarce state. It can be really helpful to ask empowering questions. And you can write these down so that you can come back to them and remember it's like, how am I okay in this moment? In what ways am I safe now? Even looking at like sometimes looking at the past, have I been through a tough moment in the past that I got myself through? I know how to get myself through this. We're not denying your current experience. We're not saying it's not a tough opportunity. Obstacle or challenge, but we're saying tapping into resourcefulness. So that's actually one of my other favorite kind of feelings or thoughts is like I'm resourceful because that is an abundant energy. Yeah. It doesn't mean you have all the money right now. It doesn't mean you have all the business. It doesn't mean that, you know, it has to be perfect. But if you believe I'm resourceful, I'm someone who figures things out. That will expand you and open you up and move you towards the feeling of abundance. Yes. So that's what I recommend. Whether you're doing it through mindset, whether you're doing it through nervous system is or emotional states, is move very gently and slowly. Like don't try to jump because it doesn't. The body won't jump. It won't unless you're like having some kind of ayahuasca experience or you know, like in some
speaker-0: Then you're puking up to her.
speaker-1: Everything, right? Maybe that would work, but like on a day to day basis, when we're doing this work, it's incremental, but that incremental changes your whole life. It can change everything. And just moving from that state of panic into safety can change your whole day. Yeah. Yeah.
speaker-0: my gosh, you're dropping bombs. I'm loving this. I'm loving this. So good. so one thing that I I think that people struggle with a lot in manifestation is exactly what you're talking about, where they're feeling they're like they're stuck in scarcity and they're like, okay, they learned this manifestation idea, technique, whatever, principle, philosophy. And then they're they're like, yeah, let's let's try that. And they try to jump too far over to yes, I am abundant, using the affirmations or something like that of like imagining I have all this money and it's like and then they feel like, well, that manifestation doesn't work, right?
speaker-1: Yes. Yes. Yeah. And sometimes it can actually be more detrimental because what we're doing is we get ourselves into a wanting energy and when we visualize it, all we see is what we don't have. Yeah. So It really, when it comes to manifesting, you have to start learning to tune into how you feel, which is why your work is so important, the work that you do on nervous system. Because if it's a manifestation technique that doesn't feel good, it's not gonna work. Or if it doesn't land for you, it's not gonna work. If you feel like you're just doing it to check off the to-do's of manifesting, it's not gonna work. The point of manifesting is What does it feel like in your body? Does it open you up? Does it expand you? Does it feel good? Yeah. But if you're feeling worse, like it's further away or you're more and more attached to it, the more you look at your vision board, it's doing the opposite for you. It's just keeping you stuck. Yeah. We don't want to do it to get into wanting energy, right? How you manifest is actually getting into having energy, being an energetic match in quotes, right? That's how we call it. Like Matching the energy of the version of you that has it, the version of you that hasn't isn't in longing, isn't in wanting, isn't in attachment. The version of you who has it is in safety, is in sufficiency. They actually don't put that thing on a pedestal. They don't really care anymore once they have they're like, I thought it was gonna be amazing. It's actually just life as normal, but maybe I have more conveniences. It's nice to have. It's not some high, right? So when it comes to manifesting, if it doesn't make you feel good or if it puts you in attachment, longing, wanting, scarcity, pressure, it's not gonna work for you. So I'm a big fan of like the work, as you know, the work that I teach is I'll give a lot of different practices, but really it's like what feels good to you, what works for you, what lights you up. Cause those practices. So look for the Practices that light you up, that light your energy up, that get you excited, that make you feel in a more expanded state. And that's what you want to continuously practice. And it might evolve and change too. Right. But if you're feeling worse, and I have a funny story about this actually, when I was makeup artist and I was driving all over Southern California for jobs, yeah, I got Louise Hayes affirmations. CD back at the time. Put that little CD in my Prius and I would listen to it for like two hours driving to, you know, Santa Barbara. And it was just they they were beautiful thoughts that were very expansive, but it was so far from where I was. It was like, I am this beautiful being and I'm so worthy and I'm abundant and money flows to me. And I would. Repeated it, but I didn't feel it in my body at all. Cause I was like, that's such a joke. Like I'm driving two hours to do this little job and like jug making ends meet and I had to say yes to this job just to like get groceries this week, you know. So like I was not where I was. Yeah. It didn't work at all. Not that like I still don't I I still think it was a great thing that I listened to it because it was probably planting the seed of where I want to go, which is great. Right. But it wasn't. Working, you know, because I didn't feel it. I didn't believe it. And you really have to believe it in your body for manifestation to work. Right.
speaker-0: So with someone just learning how to connect with their body, what are some of the simple practices that you might recommend that they start to try to see if it resonates with them or not?
speaker-1: Yeah, I think it's like just asking the question, does this feel good or bad? Or does this feel open or closed? This practice. Do I feel another one is do I feel more empowered afterwards? Or do I feel a little more open afterwards? Or do I feel more closed? Like if you start asking yourself the questions, you'll answer it and you'll get more in tune. So I think it's just setting the intention that you want to start noticing how you feel. Because If we're not trying to notice it, we won't notice it, most likely. But if you ask the question and tune in, I believe we can just start getting more and more access to it. And I believe it's also something that strengthens over time. It's not like it happened to me overnight. It was just a practice of tuning in. And then I also believe that's how we can strengthen our intuition too, because a lot of us feel our intuition through our bodies. And so that question is like. For me, that's how I know if it's intuition or not is do I feel expanded? Does this feel lighter? Does this feel right? And I know it's something to follow then and it feels right to follow it. It doesn't always feel sometimes it feels a little scary, but it feels right in my being. So yeah, I think just asking like, so if you do any kind of like morning routines, even noticing if you go work out, do I feel more energized after you're aware of how you feel right then? You know? Yeah.
speaker-0: that's so good.
speaker-1: Do you have any others to add?
speaker-0: Man, I just love how you just the simple intention of asking, does this feel open or closed? It really
speaker-1: Yeah.
speaker-0: is so powerful just to tap into do I feel like constricted in my body or expansive in my body? Yeah. You know, just that is yeah, that is a really great place to always start to connect. Yeah. And
speaker-1: Yeah.
speaker-0: setting the intention to ask, right?
speaker-1: Yeah. Yeah. A hundred percent. And if you are someone who wants to get more in tune with your emotions, if you feel like you've been kind of blocked from feeling, which can be very powerful to start feeling. Right. I know online you can get like emotion wheels, like a lot of coaching schools have them. They're online, just an emotion wheel. And that was really helpful for me of starting to identify specifically what is the emotion. Okay, now I feel open. I know that much, but like, what's the specific feeling? Let's look at this. I think it's closest to this. Yeah. Interesting. Right. Right. I
speaker-0: love Abraham Hicks has that emotional guidance letter or whatever that they talk about, right? I love that too. That really was helpful, especially for understanding that you know we can't go from feeling shame or guilt and jump so high into gratitude and joy. We have to kind of move slowly up the ladder. So what's like the next best thing in that direction? Yeah.
speaker-1: So good. Absolutely.
speaker-0: Absolutely. Beautiful. What is one belief about money that you wish women would just release?
speaker-1: My gosh, number one is just this belief that I can't have more than enough, or I already have enough. So I shouldn't want more. Who am I to want more? Because the truth, like if you think about it, notice how that's limiting the world. When more women have money, when more female leaders have money, good things happen. I believe that the world would change in such a powerful way if we got more money in the hands of more women. Because we do. I mean, women are very we're we tend to be more community focused, family fo right. Like we think about ways to utilize that money and circulate money in super powerful ways that make a huge impact. And so when you think thoughts like I can't have more than enough, what you're saying is also I don't trust myself to circulate money in the right way or in in the best way. And I I would want you to question that. Why not? Right. I love that visual of like a rising tide raises all ships. Yeah. So when you limit yourself, you're not raising the tide. Well, guess what? Everyone else isn't able to rise too. So I love that visual. If I let myself rise, what if I made more money and it impacts the world in a good way? What does that look like? In a positive way. Yeah. Right. Instead of feeling guilt, what if I can use empathy to tap in and see how I can circulate money to do really good things in the world? Yes. And I see this with heart-centered people. I mean, we've seen this in the master. What happens when more women make money? It's it's like beauty goes out into the world, impact goes out into the world, change happens. So that's one that I really wish if anyone has that, they would start to question it. Yeah. And look at like, wait a minute, the way that I worked with that myself, because I had it, was I just started to look at, okay, let's say I did have more money. What would I do with it? Yeah. And could that make a positive impact on the world? And I recognized, like, wait a minute, I would hire more support. I'd probably have a cleaning lady come instead of once a month, maybe once a week, which would give her more work. And I could actually give her a bigger tip too if I had more money. And like I could actually do generous things for my family that would be beautiful experiences for them. I'd be able to employ more people. I'd be able to, you know what I mean? Like give more to the things that matter to me. And on top of it, let's not forget ourselves because that is one thing that empathetic women tend to do is we forget our. We're like, okay, if I make more, let's where can I give it all away? And it really is important to also fuel yourself. How can you use it? To thrive more, to be more radiant, to be more healthy, to feel more alive. What can you do to light your life up? So that at the end of your life you say, dang, I lived. This was amazing. I lived, I gave, I nurtured them and myself. Yeah. So that's I would say the thought.
speaker-0: my goodness, Jamie, you have given us so much expansion. I am just loving, loving, loving our conversation. I want it to keep going on and on and on. but I'm gonna close up today and I wanna ask you one final question that I love to ask all of the listeners because of the name of our podcast, Enough and Evolving. Where are you currently evolving and what does being enough and evolving mean to you in this season of your life?
speaker-1: God, such a good question. I love it. Yeah. And you know, we touched on this a bit, but I'm in a a bit of a, I don't, I wouldn't, it's just a little bit of a life reinvention where I have been through a season of a lot of growth in my business and in that period. That Area of my life with financially business, creating impact, putting myself out there, growing as a leader. That's really been the last 10 years. And so, and I recently moved to Maui from Los Angeles, and that's been a huge shift. Talk about, I mean, and not only living in Maui, I live in like rural Maui on like a three acre fruit orchard in the middle of nowhere.
speaker-0: Gorgeous. If you get a chance, go check her out on on Instagram. She posts a
speaker-1: Totally equitable. Thank you. And it's it's just wild because I went from a hundred to zero overnight, right? Like in and so that can't not impact your life. and so it's just my evolution now has been who do I want to be if business is a part of my life and not 90% of it? You know? Right. And so I'm creating a lot more. Fullness in my life. And it really is a tribute to the work that I have done around money and abundance because I don't think I would have ever felt safe doing that. I like I said, I've always been a worker be always like, you know, creating safety and work. But I've been slowing down, still obsessed with coaching and love it and I love my business, but I'm Evolving in that I am doing things just for fun that are just hobbies. I joined the canoe club. So I go canoeing three times a week with my little community here on Maui and have been supporting my husband some and just resting and enjoying. And that is an evolution for me. And it feels really, really good. I don't know if it it's gonna stay this I I'm very much in a slow season. Now I don't know if it'll stay like this slow, but I'm in a season of that right now just to refuel and fill my own, you know, my own cup first. So that whatever creatively wants to come out of me next will. And I know if something will, it's just like we were talking, it's kind of unknown. I feel like there's yeah, I don't know what it's gonna be.
speaker-0: Sitting in the unknown. Yeah. It's at every level, right? It's at every every level you're you're coming up against that. That's just the nature of this life.
speaker-1: Yeah. And I'm asking, how good can it get? Like surprise me, you know, which is different because I've always been very visionary and knew exactly what I wanted. And now I'm like, I don't have a super clear vision that's really vivid. So let's just be surprised, like something even better than I could have ever expected in terms of what evolves through this.
speaker-0: I love that. I love that. I can't wait to see what unfolds for you. Well, thank you again so much, Jamie, for spending this time with us. And thank you all for tuning in and spending time with us as well. And always you are enough and you are evolving. Have a good one.
