S9 EP11: Python on the loose!!

WEBVTT
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Hello I'm Rob Beckett and I'm Josh Willicombe. Welcome to
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Parenting Hell the show in which Josh and I discuss
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what it's really like to be a parent which I
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would say can be a little tricky.
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So to make ourselves and hopefully you feel better about
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the trials and tribulations of modern day parenting each week
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we're chatting to a famous parent about how they're.
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Coping or hopefully how they're not coping.
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And we'll also be hearing from you the listener with
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your tips advice and of course tales of parenting.
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Woe because let's be honest there are plenty of times
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where none of us know what we're doing Hello, you're
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listening to Parenting Hell with... Oscar.
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Oscar, can you say Rob Beckett?
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Rob Beckett.
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Can you say Josh Widdicombe?
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Josh Widdicombe.
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Well done.
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Sounded quite painful at the start, didn't it?
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Sounded like a chimpanzee in the background.
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Oscar.
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Oscar, can you say it? It's a cat, isn't it?
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Is someone killing a cat? Let's see if she mentions
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it in the email.
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If someone kills a cat in the audio recording for
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a podcast intro, has a cat been killed? That's a saying,
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isn't it?
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That is a saying. Hi, Rob and Josh. This is
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my two-year-old son, Oscar. Having a go at your intro.
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I thought you'd do a small cameo from three-month-old Poppy
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at the start.
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And what's Poppy? A ragdoll?
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I wondered whether it was.
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I was searching for a cat breed there hard. That
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was a beat off being funny. Because I couldn't think
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of a cat. I nearly said Siberian, but I was
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looking for Siamese. Tomcat. What's the other?
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Ragdoll. Finish the email. Oh, sorry. Oscar.
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And Poppy. It's a child, not a cat.
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I've been listening since Oscar was born, but I'm also
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working my way through all the old episodes. And I'm
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currently on summer 2021 when Josh has just had his son.
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On a recent episode, it made me laugh to hear
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you speak about I've forgotten how bad colic and reflux
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can be. Josh's poor son has had very bad reflux
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and Josh is not okay. You should go back and
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listen if you want a reminder. I don't. And shout
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out to any parent going through it. It really does
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get better. Thanks for the laughs. Alex, spelt with an I.
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I'm starting to think it doesn't get better.
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Are you?
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The issue I've got at the moment is sleep.
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Oh yeah, talk to me.
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The kids are waking up a lot in the night.
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I've just got to bounce my teabag.
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Right, now this is off the back of you. So
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this is what's quite good about doing this in person.
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We get to see how fucked up you really are.
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So this is how you make tea.
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So I put the teabag in.
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And that's been floating around for a good five minutes now.
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It wouldn't normally be floating around that long, but obviously
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I started the podcast.
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And there's been no spoon or finger in that tea yet.
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No.
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So you've dropped it in from when you've got it.
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Into a dry mug. Yeah.
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And you've made the tea. So then how are you
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making the tea? This is how you do it for anyone.
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Yeah, because this isn't a problem. So there's a little
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bit of teabag poking out. Right.
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Okay.
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Dance it up and down. Get it to the right colour. Oh,
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it looks so.
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That's not nice.
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Why is there nothing wrong with that? That's no different
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from holding the end of a teaspoon.
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It is different.
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Why?
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Because even then, and you did it as carefully as
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you possibly could, your finger nearly.
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Check out my finger. That's dry as a bone.
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Touch me. I regret doing that, but he's right.
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It's dry.
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It's dry, but I think when you're busy and you're
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making a few teas and you're getting all slappy hands
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because you're stressed, you're getting a bit of index in that.
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Well, let's have a vote for it on the Instagram.
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It's still unacceptable.
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Get on the Instagram. It's the reason why spoons exist.
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You might as well just cup your hands and pour
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it in. You can do it that way, but it's
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not a nice way to drink it.
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I never told you about when I was on the
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stag do with this guy. And we went for an Indian.
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The two of you? No, we just got on really well.
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I didn't know him. And he sat next to me.
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And he went, oh, sorry, I'm just so used to
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being in India that I just started eating with my hands.
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And I was like, you fucking.
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Well, you're not in India, are you?
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You're not in India. Where were you? You're not so
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used to being in India because you've just ordered a
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fucking Balti. Do you know what I mean? It's like.
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Where were you on the stag?
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We were in Oxford.
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Yeah, the least Indian place in the UK.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly, yeah.
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That is red trousers, white face, red cheeks.
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Yeah, yeah, exactly. I fit right.
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In.
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Anyway, we're face-to-face now.
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Yeah, we're face-to-face. We're trying to do a few more
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of these filmed ones, aren't we, I think? And we
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just interviewed Rose.
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It's the future. Yeah.
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It's the future, isn't it? As much as we don't
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want to leave our house.
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Yeah.
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No, I was saying, I think it's worse. I'm not,
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we're not sleeping very well. It's hard. My kids keep
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waking up.
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Talk to me about your sleeping.
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They just keep waking up in the night. I've got
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it here because I was texting my mate about it
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because I've got mates that have got like babies that
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are like eight, like a year old. So that is
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hard graft, isn't it? Yeah. And they were like going,
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oh God, they're tired and stuff. But I was like,
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this was like a few nights ago. My eldest daughter
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woke up twice in the night.
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And are they going to sleep in their own rooms?
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Going to sleep in their own rooms.
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Do you have to sit in for that?
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So, no, they weren't. But then recently we're having to
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sit in with one of them. But then whenever they
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get a bit ill, it's a difficult balance, isn't it?
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So one's been a bit unwell and had a bit
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of a sore throat and stuff like that. So if
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they're a bit ill, you sit with them a bit
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more and a bit more. And then she woke up
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with a sore throat like twice in the night. And
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then Lou went in there to check on her and
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end up sleeping with her because she was going, it
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just hurts. And then I'll just lay here like that.
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So then my other daughter come in twice to me
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and then she wanted to be tucked in. Then she's
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getting growing pains. So I was having to stretch her legs.
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Have you ever done that? Like it's the 99th minute
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of extra time. Yeah, she can get growing pains. So
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I'm stretching her legs out.
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How did you find that out then?
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Well, she's just saying that my legs hurt and she's
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having pain. And then we were stretching and that helped them.
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Oh, wow.
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But that's called like growing pains. Then the dog started whining.
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Then I had to go downstairs and let one out
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to have a shit. Oh, my God. And then before
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I know it, it's 6am and you're back on the
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school run. Oh, my God. And then every morning feels
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like I'm getting ready for a flight. You know, like
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an early flight.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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And they're eight and six. So it's just like nearly
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nine years of this.
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Oh.
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And so what's gone wrong? I think one is, as
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they get a bit older, they're, well, so what's gone
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wrong is we actually got in quite a good little
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pattern of them doing it quite well. And then, especially
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my youngest, she was like wanting some with her all
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the time. She was going to bed and being fine.
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But then we had a nightmare at the weekend where
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I didn't really lock the front door properly, right? I
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thought it was, but it was sort of on the latch.
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It wasn't properly shut, but it looked like I was
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tired when I went to bed. And then my youngest
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has been having trouble getting to bed. She was worried
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about people coming in at night and, a burglar's coming
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in and getting her. It's that anxious anxiety stuff. So actually,
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the technique to do that is, what you need to
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do is, before bed, if they tell you what they're
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anxious about, tell them to write it down in one
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column and then do another column and then you can
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write down what actually happened. Basically, it's with the proviso
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to teach them and adults that when is your anxiety
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ever truly correct? So before a big job, as an adult,
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you go, oh God, what if I go in and
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I don't know anyone? What if I say something wrong?
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What if, what if, what if? Most of the time
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it doesn't happen.
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What if I die on my arse?
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Yeah, exactly. But most of the time.
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That wouldn't.
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Work for me, obviously, because a lot of the time
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that doesn't... No, this is you bullshit. Bit of fun,
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bit of fun, bit of fun! Most of the time
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you just go and smash the gig. So then what
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you're doing... You all want to look at my Nevermind
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the Buzzcocks columns. I'll tell you that for free, mate.
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But yeah, you write about what you're worried about and
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then the next day you can write. So she's done
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that before. Did anyone come in? And they were like, no.
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And then you basically go, when has your anxiety ever been?
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So that's basically the basics of what you're trying to do.
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So we've been doing that with her, of like, when
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has that happened? And then she'd come in in the
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middle of the night, when that big storm was going on.
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So she'd come in and woke us up, and then
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Lou was like, all right, I'll take you back in. Basically,
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you just normally tuck her back in, she goes back
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to sleep, you don't have to lay with her. And
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then as she did it, Lou walked out into the
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landing and just went, fucking hell!
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Looted?
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Yeah, fucking hell!
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Like that.
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But to be fair, she was shocked.
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Yeah, yeah.
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Fucking hell, the front door's open!
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Oh my God!
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3am, thunderstorm, wind whipping in, like a flood. LAUGHTER Fucking hell,
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the front door's open. So I'm like fully naked, charging
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down the stairs to see.
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Which is your daughter's worst nightmare.
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Yeah, yeah, exactly. So she's seen that. And then basically
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I remember that as I was like going to sleep,
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just before bed I heard like a door creaking.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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And I thought, oh, it's.
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Probably someone else's door. I forgot you live in a
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mansion on a hill.
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I've just got a creaky door. So Lou went fucking out.
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And like, oh, my heart rate's up. This child's already like,
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I can't sleep, I'm worried. And now the fucking front
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door's wide open. So then she was like, getting all
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stressed out.
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I understand.
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And then as we, I was like, and then I
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was like, well, just try and go to sleep. And
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as she said that, there was like a massive crack
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of thunder. So like, and then we ended up, and
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then I slept with her all night. So now we're trying,
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then as soon as you do that, she's like, oh,
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this is nice. So we're trying to get back from that.
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It's just, it's just hard work. We've had a bit of,
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so we got them out of our room. Oh, yeah,
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00:09:03.740 --> 00:09:04.559
because they were on the floor.
249
00:09:04.940 --> 00:09:06.299
Yeah. We got them out of our room.
250
00:09:06.360 --> 00:09:06.519
Yeah.
251
00:09:07.080 --> 00:09:08.139
We're doing potty training now.
252
00:09:08.159 --> 00:09:08.970
How are you getting on?
253
00:09:09.440 --> 00:09:14.360
I tell you. Could you just wipe my arse?
254
00:09:14.980 --> 00:09:16.519
Yeah. Content, isn't it?
255
00:09:16.639 --> 00:09:19.019
It's content. We visualised it.
256
00:09:19.039 --> 00:09:19.700
Get that on the views.
257
00:09:19.840 --> 00:09:20.399
We couldn't do that.
258
00:09:20.750 --> 00:09:24.049
How's the riff on that, mate? We've done some feedback.
259
00:09:24.110 --> 00:09:25.289
Rob wiping Josh's arse.
260
00:09:26.029 --> 00:09:26.649
Get the views up.
261
00:09:27.009 --> 00:09:27.230
Yeah.
262
00:09:27.669 --> 00:09:28.429
Straight up the charts.
263
00:09:29.019 --> 00:09:33.950
Is that what you call it? So, we... I don't
264
00:09:34.009 --> 00:09:36.470
think this is accepted technique.
265
00:09:36.889 --> 00:09:37.470
For potty training?
266
00:09:38.269 --> 00:09:42.169
If you leave it late, it's a piece of piss. So,
267
00:09:42.230 --> 00:09:44.129
if he says I need a poo... No, no, no.
268
00:09:44.389 --> 00:09:46.429
What I mean is, he's got to an age... How
269
00:09:46.460 --> 00:09:46.649
old is he?
270
00:09:46.649 --> 00:09:47.419
He's quite old, isn't he?
271
00:09:47.779 --> 00:09:48.259
He's three.
272
00:09:48.879 --> 00:09:50.659
Oh, that's... Yeah, that's about normal age, isn't it? Yeah,
273
00:09:50.679 --> 00:09:51.580
it's about normal age.
274
00:09:51.840 --> 00:09:55.919
But, because we haven't... Because we've waited until he's ready... Yeah.
275
00:09:56.620 --> 00:09:59.960
He's just nailing it, really. Yes. But I think he
276
00:10:00.039 --> 00:10:04.159
fucking loves. So you haven't got a boy, have you? No.
277
00:10:04.200 --> 00:10:05.000
So he's got his. Hang on.
278
00:10:06.340 --> 00:10:08.399
What did you think I'd stack up I've been talking
279
00:10:08.419 --> 00:10:10.399
to you about my kids every week my two daughters
280
00:10:10.419 --> 00:10:12.610
for four or five years in my head you haven't
281
00:10:12.620 --> 00:10:14.549
got a boy have you no yeah one I've not
282
00:10:14.629 --> 00:10:17.330
brought up I've had so much content with the girls
283
00:10:17.350 --> 00:10:18.710
I've not mentioned the newborn.
284
00:10:18.590 --> 00:10:20.690
I thought I was doing the podcast with Dave Grohl.
285
00:10:23.360 --> 00:10:26.440
Might have let me check your messages I am slinging
286
00:10:26.500 --> 00:10:27.019
it about.
287
00:10:28.149 --> 00:10:31.289
No, what I mean is, I was just thinking out loud,
288
00:10:31.610 --> 00:10:34.429
is there's a thing, a different thing for a boy. Yeah,
289
00:10:34.460 --> 00:10:36.899
they've got dicks. Yeah, no, no. So we've got his potty,
290
00:10:36.940 --> 00:10:37.580
which he likes.
291
00:10:37.639 --> 00:10:37.879
Yeah.
292
00:10:38.039 --> 00:10:42.100
But also, Rose's friend recommended this. We've got a plastic
293
00:10:42.200 --> 00:10:44.220
urinal stuck to the window.
294
00:10:44.240 --> 00:10:46.419
Oh, so he just goes out and pisses in the urinal?
295
00:10:46.490 --> 00:10:48.710
Well, he's not as into it, but it's like a urinal.
296
00:10:48.750 --> 00:10:49.710
Yeah, but I hate urinals.
297
00:10:49.750 --> 00:10:52.370
Sticks to the, not the window, like a glass French door.
298
00:10:52.389 --> 00:10:52.509
Yeah.
299
00:10:53.100 --> 00:10:56.080
And it's like a plastic urinal in our kitchen, basically.
300
00:10:56.100 --> 00:10:57.919
Yeah. This is Rose that don't want to sit next
301
00:10:57.940 --> 00:10:59.320
to a table by the toilet.
302
00:10:59.080 --> 00:10:59.580
In a restaurant.
303
00:10:59.600 --> 00:11:01.720
She's got her own urinal stuck to the fucking wall
304
00:11:01.740 --> 00:11:02.039
of the kitchen.
305
00:11:02.059 --> 00:11:05.360
That's the fucking mad thing, isn't it? With potty training.
306
00:11:05.379 --> 00:11:08.159
Because obviously you're not every night going at every moment.
307
00:11:08.519 --> 00:11:11.559
He wants to have a piss. Yeah. Because he's pleased
308
00:11:11.600 --> 00:11:14.320
that he's pissing in a potty. He's trying to have
309
00:11:14.340 --> 00:11:16.070
a piss 15 to 20 times a day.
310
00:11:16.100 --> 00:11:18.440
And then love picking it up and walking around with
311
00:11:18.500 --> 00:11:19.000
it to show you.
312
00:11:19.019 --> 00:11:22.129
Oh my God, it's so tense. because he wants to
313
00:11:22.169 --> 00:11:24.389
take it upstairs, because we haven't got a downstairs toilet.
314
00:11:24.830 --> 00:11:27.809
So he's going up the stairs with his piss, like
315
00:11:27.850 --> 00:11:29.850
on one of those kids' game shows when they're carrying
316
00:11:29.889 --> 00:11:32.750
the gun through the kind of cross the assault course.
317
00:11:35.110 --> 00:11:38.620
But so Rose was out on Saturday night, and he
318
00:11:39.200 --> 00:11:41.480
hasn't been shitting, because that's the thing you forget.
319
00:11:42.259 --> 00:11:45.019
Right. It's harder to get him to shit than piss.
320
00:11:45.200 --> 00:11:48.200
Yeah, and so they're nervous about... We had this with both.
321
00:11:48.220 --> 00:11:50.360
So he's not been shitting, like not even in a nappy?
322
00:11:50.379 --> 00:11:50.440
No.
323
00:11:51.210 --> 00:11:52.409
No. So he's wearing a nappy?
324
00:11:52.769 --> 00:11:53.690
He's wearing a nappy at night.
325
00:11:53.889 --> 00:11:54.549
At night, okay.
326
00:11:55.009 --> 00:11:56.820
But he's wearing pants. In the day?
327
00:11:57.250 --> 00:11:57.360
Yeah.
328
00:11:57.389 --> 00:11:58.039
Not over the nappy?
329
00:11:58.899 --> 00:12:01.399
At night, he wears pants over his nappy. Why? Because
330
00:12:01.419 --> 00:12:04.700
he wants to. And why?
331
00:12:05.059 --> 00:12:05.299
What?
332
00:12:05.419 --> 00:12:06.139
That's not an issue.
333
00:12:06.200 --> 00:12:08.600
And you're in no position to criticise someone's sleeping technique.
334
00:12:10.080 --> 00:12:11.440
I don't know. It's a matter of fact to do that.
335
00:12:11.519 --> 00:12:14.259
That's weird, son. It's fucking... It's weird.
336
00:12:14.470 --> 00:12:15.350
Do you know what?
337
00:12:15.450 --> 00:12:17.669
I can't wait for your kids to, when they talk
338
00:12:17.690 --> 00:12:19.669
about the way you sleep to their night, go, your
339
00:12:19.690 --> 00:12:20.309
dad used to do what?
340
00:12:21.259 --> 00:12:24.080
Oh, do you know what? Saturday, Sunday morning, they got
341
00:12:24.100 --> 00:12:26.100
into our bed and I went to sleep, back to
342
00:12:26.139 --> 00:12:29.080
sleep because I'd been up with them. I was down
343
00:12:29.100 --> 00:12:31.379
the other end. I was fully under the duvet. Oh,
344
00:12:31.399 --> 00:12:33.039
I loved it. I was thinking this is.
345
00:12:33.039 --> 00:12:34.960
The other end of the bed. Top and tail.
346
00:12:34.980 --> 00:12:36.500
So I was top and tailing, but the three of
347
00:12:36.539 --> 00:12:37.980
them were going one way and I was going the other.
348
00:12:38.159 --> 00:12:38.399
Right.
349
00:12:39.899 --> 00:12:41.440
Why don't you stay at the top end? Because there
350
00:12:41.480 --> 00:12:43.220
was less pillow space because they were all sat on
351
00:12:43.240 --> 00:12:44.350
the pillows. What kind of bed size you got?
352
00:12:44.850 --> 00:12:47.450
I don't know. King? It's a bed.
353
00:12:47.470 --> 00:12:49.850
There must be enough space for all four of you
354
00:12:49.870 --> 00:12:52.470
in a king up there. You love it at the feet.
355
00:12:52.490 --> 00:12:55.389
I love it at the feet. You love a top.
356
00:12:55.710 --> 00:12:57.570
I feel like you don't need to top and tail.
357
00:12:57.590 --> 00:12:59.289
You enjoy to top and tail. Yeah.
358
00:13:00.330 --> 00:13:01.129
What is it.
359
00:13:01.110 --> 00:13:02.029
You like about it?
360
00:13:02.110 --> 00:13:03.610
I saw him jumping around all over the place.
361
00:13:03.629 --> 00:13:05.970
What is it you like about top and tailing? Because
362
00:13:05.990 --> 00:13:07.870
I want to drill into this because it feels like
363
00:13:08.009 --> 00:13:08.769
any opportunity.
364
00:13:08.860 --> 00:13:10.120
I said to Rose, actually.
365
00:13:11.429 --> 00:13:13.820
About top and tailing? You like any opportunity to top
366
00:13:13.860 --> 00:13:14.279
and tail?
367
00:13:14.899 --> 00:13:17.019
I said this to Rose on Sunday and I hadn't
368
00:13:17.059 --> 00:13:19.740
thought about this. I said, when I go for a nap,
369
00:13:20.809 --> 00:13:23.009
I might start just going head at this end of
370
00:13:23.029 --> 00:13:26.909
the bed because it feels like you're sneaking a nap
371
00:13:26.990 --> 00:13:30.950
in when you're top and tailing. It feels naughty, taboo.
372
00:13:31.169 --> 00:13:31.889
It doesn't feel.
373
00:13:32.809 --> 00:13:34.600
What is it like about that, though?
374
00:13:34.860 --> 00:13:37.139
Because it's not how you sleep, so you're like, oh,
375
00:13:37.360 --> 00:13:39.730
I'm just sneaking a little top and tail nap in.
376
00:13:39.740 --> 00:13:41.779
So with a pillow or just...? Yeah, with a pillow.
377
00:13:42.139 --> 00:13:44.379
Is it because you feel guilty just sleeping at the
378
00:13:44.440 --> 00:13:46.120
top of the bed normally, like you're in bed?
379
00:13:46.720 --> 00:13:48.600
No, I don't feel guilty about that. I just feel
380
00:13:48.620 --> 00:13:52.230
like when I'm top and tailing, there's... It's a bit like,
381
00:13:52.250 --> 00:13:54.769
you know when you're a kid and you'd rearrange your
382
00:13:54.809 --> 00:13:56.370
bedroom and it just felt incredible.
383
00:13:56.509 --> 00:13:58.149
Right, so you're like, okay.
384
00:13:58.230 --> 00:13:59.169
It's just different.
385
00:13:59.379 --> 00:14:01.320
It's just different. It's not better, it's just different. It's
386
00:14:01.340 --> 00:14:03.419
just different, okay. Sorry, let's get back to your songs.
387
00:14:03.440 --> 00:14:04.779
Can I just say about my problem with top and
388
00:14:04.799 --> 00:14:05.580
tailing at the moment?
389
00:14:05.700 --> 00:14:06.120
What is that?
390
00:14:06.500 --> 00:14:13.529
I've got a verruca. Hello? Hello? I could see you there. No,
391
00:14:13.570 --> 00:14:15.350
but like... If we were doing this on Zoom, I
392
00:14:15.470 --> 00:14:16.610
think there was a problem with the.
393
00:14:16.629 --> 00:14:18.149
Do you know what I think it is? I think
394
00:14:18.210 --> 00:14:20.629
it's like... I used to think like, oh, Josh does
395
00:14:20.750 --> 00:14:24.980
like nostalgia-based comedy where he'll bring up stuff from the
396
00:14:25.009 --> 00:14:28.299
past because it's funny and there's a warm-heartedness to remember things.
397
00:14:28.539 --> 00:14:31.700
But that is just your life. You live in the 90s, essentially,
398
00:14:31.720 --> 00:14:33.559
with your music taste or your film taste and all that.
399
00:14:33.620 --> 00:14:34.899
And then you just have 90s things.
400
00:14:36.100 --> 00:14:36.779
I've got a verruca.
401
00:14:36.799 --> 00:14:43.700
Have you just been off work with mad cow disease?
402
00:14:44.159 --> 00:14:46.299
I've got a verruca. Yeah.
403
00:14:46.320 --> 00:14:48.980
I said it to my doctor last time I was there.
404
00:14:49.480 --> 00:14:50.419
She said it would just go.
405
00:14:51.460 --> 00:14:54.960
It's got so painful. If I walk around the house
406
00:14:55.559 --> 00:14:58.610
without shoes or slippers on, it's painful.
407
00:14:58.620 --> 00:15:00.610
Have you thought about cutting it out?
408
00:15:00.929 --> 00:15:02.289
I'm going to have to go and get it cut out.
409
00:15:02.549 --> 00:15:05.970
My dad would do it himself. What? My dad once
410
00:15:06.049 --> 00:15:08.070
ate a soup that was 12 days out of date.
411
00:15:08.090 --> 00:15:10.610
And I would be proud.
412
00:15:10.649 --> 00:15:13.870
No, it's fine. It's only a bit of broccoli. What
413
00:15:13.889 --> 00:15:14.370
could it do to me?
414
00:15:20.000 --> 00:15:20.460
Can I talk.
415
00:15:20.500 --> 00:15:23.340
Again, we'll go back to your potty training. Yeah. Me
416
00:15:23.360 --> 00:15:26.460
and Lou have stumbled across something life-changing.
417
00:15:26.659 --> 00:15:28.639
I don't know whether I want to hear about it.
418
00:15:28.679 --> 00:15:30.200
Basically, she dresses up as me and I dress up
419
00:15:30.240 --> 00:15:30.659
as her.
420
00:15:30.940 --> 00:15:32.200
No. Rubbish.
421
00:15:32.960 --> 00:15:35.309
Special... House shoes.
422
00:15:36.129 --> 00:15:36.389
Oh, yeah.
423
00:15:36.409 --> 00:15:39.210
That you don't wear quickly to go out to do
424
00:15:39.230 --> 00:15:42.610
the bins or quickly go... They're called slippers. Yeah, no, no, no, no.
425
00:15:42.649 --> 00:15:45.639
But not slippers because there's not enough support, right? Because
426
00:15:45.659 --> 00:15:48.080
I've been getting that plantar fasciitis thing right on my heel.
427
00:15:48.100 --> 00:15:49.500
So I've been doing a lot of running, a lot
428
00:15:49.519 --> 00:15:50.659
of walking. It's where you get that pain at the
429
00:15:50.700 --> 00:15:52.799
sole of your feet where it's sort of like you're
430
00:15:52.820 --> 00:15:54.659
doing a lot and it's hard to get rid of
431
00:15:54.700 --> 00:15:56.799
because you're always stood up or walking. So it's basically
432
00:15:56.850 --> 00:15:59.710
muscle strain on the sole of your feet. Anyway, we've been...
433
00:15:59.649 --> 00:16:01.470
And this isn't because we did an advert for them,
434
00:16:01.509 --> 00:16:05.669
but we bought some of these Hoka... Oh yeah. Like sliders,
435
00:16:06.110 --> 00:16:09.389
but they've got this massive like spongy sole and they're
436
00:16:09.409 --> 00:16:10.629
called like recovery sliders.
437
00:16:10.649 --> 00:16:15.210
You've got a spongy sole, I've always thought that about you.
438
00:16:15.250 --> 00:16:17.049
And I've got ice white ones that I don't wear
439
00:16:17.070 --> 00:16:20.389
in the garden. You're not allowed, the key is they
440
00:16:20.509 --> 00:16:23.389
never touch outside. So you can go upstairs on all
441
00:16:23.409 --> 00:16:28.090
the carpets and you wear them every second of the day.
442
00:16:28.110 --> 00:16:30.360
Because we've got hard floors, we've got wooden floors and
443
00:16:30.379 --> 00:16:33.620
like stone like tiles in the kitchen. And it was
444
00:16:33.820 --> 00:16:34.279
hurting my feet.
445
00:16:34.480 --> 00:16:34.919
I've been wearing them.
446
00:16:35.320 --> 00:16:38.539
It's, I feel like one of those sort of like
447
00:16:39.059 --> 00:16:42.429
aesthetic Japanese girls that do TikToks about their organised life.
448
00:16:42.490 --> 00:16:44.149
If you see those, where they get back to their
449
00:16:44.190 --> 00:16:45.730
flat and they do that, where they get their special
450
00:16:45.769 --> 00:16:48.789
shoes on, they make nice dinner. Everything's all quite, like
451
00:16:48.830 --> 00:16:49.649
Marie Kondo.
452
00:16:49.950 --> 00:16:51.230
Yeah, Marie Kondo.
453
00:16:51.570 --> 00:16:51.809
Sorry.
454
00:16:52.250 --> 00:16:54.620
And Mary Quant, who's the queen of shops.
455
00:16:54.899 --> 00:16:58.210
I've got too confused, haven't I? And yes, there's special
456
00:16:58.250 --> 00:17:00.029
house shoes. And they don't have to be these ones,
457
00:17:00.049 --> 00:17:01.850
but we've got the Hoka ones. And they're not cheap.
458
00:17:01.870 --> 00:17:02.450
They're a bit pricey.
459
00:17:02.490 --> 00:17:04.869
But I wear them every second of every day indoors now.
460
00:17:05.269 --> 00:17:06.750
Are you worried about foot sweat?
461
00:17:08.829 --> 00:17:11.410
No, because you can wear them without socks. And they've
462
00:17:11.430 --> 00:17:16.289
got vents. But I wear them with socks. Shorts. Oversized tee.
463
00:17:17.089 --> 00:17:17.990
And just go about my day.
464
00:17:18.849 --> 00:17:19.130
Go on.
465
00:17:19.569 --> 00:17:20.069
Potty training.
466
00:17:20.650 --> 00:17:27.730
Saturday night. He did a shit and pissed himself in
467
00:17:27.769 --> 00:17:28.309
his pants.
468
00:17:28.630 --> 00:17:29.769
Sounds like you when you were drinking.
469
00:17:29.809 --> 00:17:33.750
Oh, he was hammered.
470
00:17:34.789 --> 00:17:35.349
How's he bad?
471
00:17:35.549 --> 00:17:36.759
But then he carried on for the rest of the
472
00:17:36.799 --> 00:17:40.359
night because he'd got it out of him. And he
473
00:17:40.400 --> 00:17:42.220
was so upset. It was awful.
474
00:17:42.440 --> 00:17:43.539
Because he felt like he failed.
475
00:17:43.700 --> 00:17:46.019
He felt like he failed. And he was crying and
476
00:17:46.059 --> 00:17:49.119
he was sweating. And also, have you ever seen a
477
00:17:49.200 --> 00:17:50.009
shit in pants before?
478
00:17:52.900 --> 00:17:53.720
No, but you had your nappy on.
479
00:17:54.119 --> 00:17:56.599
No, no, no, no, no, no. This was Saturday evening
480
00:17:56.640 --> 00:17:57.420
before he'd gone to bed.
481
00:17:57.579 --> 00:17:58.900
Oh, before he went to bed, right, yeah.
482
00:17:59.480 --> 00:18:02.670
Yeah, so I write off the pants. Is that bad?
483
00:18:03.170 --> 00:18:04.930
No, no, no, I think that's fine.
484
00:18:05.589 --> 00:18:06.750
Yeah, you're just like.
485
00:18:06.809 --> 00:18:09.099
Look, there's fast fashion, then there's a pants and a shit.
486
00:18:09.119 --> 00:18:12.339
There's a shit and a pants, yeah, yeah. But he's
487
00:18:12.380 --> 00:18:17.079
doing really well, but he's basically able to piss, but
488
00:18:17.099 --> 00:18:19.180
he's not able to shit. So the shit was like
489
00:18:19.240 --> 00:18:21.869
rock hard because he'd been compacting it down for days.
490
00:18:21.890 --> 00:18:22.789
Because he's been holding it in.
491
00:18:23.150 --> 00:18:25.970
But I don't really know what you can do about it, really.
492
00:18:26.029 --> 00:18:27.730
It's just time. Time's a healer.
493
00:18:27.950 --> 00:18:28.990
Time's a great healer.
494
00:18:29.730 --> 00:18:30.849
At least he's getting there.
495
00:18:30.950 --> 00:18:32.049
He's getting there. That's good.
496
00:18:32.069 --> 00:18:33.640
I can't believe you're still doing nappies.
497
00:18:34.180 --> 00:18:34.440
Wow.
498
00:18:35.299 --> 00:18:35.500
I know.
499
00:18:35.519 --> 00:18:39.400
We've had to stop our order of kitten kin. Nappies.
500
00:18:39.680 --> 00:18:44.000
What are they? I think Emma Bonten's involved. It's like
501
00:18:44.039 --> 00:18:46.839
a kind of mail order nappy. But that means he's
502
00:18:46.880 --> 00:18:49.660
getting up really early. Because he gets up at half
503
00:18:49.720 --> 00:18:51.670
five or six because he wants to have a piss.
504
00:18:51.849 --> 00:18:53.569
Right, and then comes into you.
505
00:18:53.630 --> 00:18:55.490
Whereas previously he just pisses his nappy.
506
00:18:55.529 --> 00:18:56.369
And then go back to sleep.
507
00:18:56.690 --> 00:19:00.170
Go back to sleep. So the day is starting incredibly early.
508
00:19:00.190 --> 00:19:01.029
Yeah, not ideal.
509
00:19:01.410 --> 00:19:04.200
Not ideal. And so it's about half nine when we
510
00:19:04.240 --> 00:19:06.759
get my daughter down and then half five, six when he's... Yeah,
511
00:19:06.779 --> 00:19:07.900
but kids go to bed late as well.
512
00:19:07.920 --> 00:19:08.839
They just can't calm down.
513
00:19:08.880 --> 00:19:10.259
It's just game over, isn't it?
514
00:19:10.660 --> 00:19:12.900
Especially when they've had a fun day. Or iPad. iPad
515
00:19:12.920 --> 00:19:14.900
in the afternoon makes them go to bed worse, I find.
516
00:19:14.920 --> 00:19:18.019
I just don't... When do your kids have iPads?
517
00:19:21.799 --> 00:19:27.039
All the time. What do you mean? So, no.
518
00:19:27.039 --> 00:19:28.980
So, Monday morning, get ready for school. Do they have
519
00:19:29.019 --> 00:19:29.680
it before school?
520
00:19:30.259 --> 00:19:33.200
No, but not because we've banned it. It just doesn't
521
00:19:33.220 --> 00:19:33.720
really come up.
522
00:19:33.720 --> 00:19:35.599
Come up because you're busy getting ready. Right, after school,
523
00:19:35.839 --> 00:19:36.380
when they come home?
524
00:19:37.319 --> 00:19:40.690
Maybe, but... They're more likely to watch TV.
525
00:19:41.380 --> 00:19:42.200
Right, and in weekends.
526
00:19:42.240 --> 00:19:45.140
But that's not a rule... It's not a rule-governed thing.
527
00:19:45.519 --> 00:19:48.349
Their tastes are probably more different than your children.
528
00:19:48.589 --> 00:19:48.869
Yeah.
529
00:19:48.890 --> 00:19:50.430
So it's more difficult for them to... to watch the
530
00:19:50.470 --> 00:19:55.430
same TV. So often, they'll watch... My daughter watches hamsters
531
00:19:56.190 --> 00:20:01.940
doing assault courses on YouTube Kids. Of course. And so
532
00:20:01.980 --> 00:20:03.900
that's iPad. Yeah.
533
00:20:04.559 --> 00:20:07.119
But they do a bit, and then at the weekend,
534
00:20:08.200 --> 00:20:11.809
it's fucking... Feral. But then it'll... So ours, I only
535
00:20:11.829 --> 00:20:13.369
have them at weekends, but it's like they're so desperate
536
00:20:13.390 --> 00:20:14.430
to have it, so I don't know if it's worse
537
00:20:15.009 --> 00:20:16.869
saying you can't have it. But they're quite good to go, like,
538
00:20:16.910 --> 00:20:18.630
if you don't go to bed well, if you're being naughty,
539
00:20:18.650 --> 00:20:20.119
you're on an iPad ban.
540
00:20:20.880 --> 00:20:24.180
Yeah, so we've got... My daughter's getting a hamster for
541
00:20:24.200 --> 00:20:28.839
her birthday in a month. How do fish? They're getting
542
00:20:28.880 --> 00:20:29.740
moved into my office.
543
00:20:29.759 --> 00:20:31.869
So she doesn't want the fish anymore?
544
00:20:32.220 --> 00:20:33.750
No, it's not that she doesn't want the fish anymore.
545
00:20:34.430 --> 00:20:39.220
It's that if she's getting the hamster... Just space-wise.
546
00:20:39.619 --> 00:20:40.960
So the hamster's going in her bedroom?
547
00:20:41.599 --> 00:20:41.839
Yeah.
548
00:20:41.920 --> 00:20:42.779
That's going to keep her up?
549
00:20:43.599 --> 00:20:46.839
Is it? No, they're... What? What?
550
00:20:47.319 --> 00:20:51.119
Markle's already laughing. Do you know hamsters are nocturnal?
551
00:20:51.869 --> 00:20:55.670
Yeah, but they're not properly nocturnal. What are they getting
552
00:20:55.750 --> 00:20:56.230
up to?
553
00:20:57.589 --> 00:21:02.049
Running on a wheel really loud. Chewing, eating, burrowing. And
554
00:21:02.109 --> 00:21:04.890
also you need to get a big hamster cage that
555
00:21:05.230 --> 00:21:06.230
because it's unfair to.
556
00:21:06.519 --> 00:21:07.799
Yeah, you can't get like an old stock.
557
00:21:07.819 --> 00:21:10.240
They need to have like deep... stuff to burrow. You
558
00:21:10.279 --> 00:21:11.480
can't just be a little bit in the bottom, like
559
00:21:11.500 --> 00:21:13.519
the bottom of a butcher's floor. What?
560
00:21:13.559 --> 00:21:14.720
That's what it was in my day.
561
00:21:14.819 --> 00:21:16.319
Yeah, that's not, that's cruel.
562
00:21:16.940 --> 00:21:17.140
Is it?
563
00:21:17.319 --> 00:21:17.660
Yeah.
564
00:21:17.819 --> 00:21:20.799
So people, I used to have a lovely glass cage.
565
00:21:20.859 --> 00:21:22.039
I'd get her a big glass cage so she can
566
00:21:22.079 --> 00:21:23.640
see through it. And then you have it like.
567
00:21:23.660 --> 00:21:25.220
Sort of six inches thick. So not.
568
00:21:25.240 --> 00:21:26.180
Show me the cage you're getting it.
569
00:21:26.180 --> 00:21:27.500
I haven't even thought about it.
570
00:21:27.619 --> 00:21:29.480
Well, you need to get one that's deep so it
571
00:21:29.500 --> 00:21:31.119
can burrow because that's what hamsters do.
572
00:21:31.279 --> 00:21:32.900
And how often am I changing this?
573
00:21:33.579 --> 00:21:34.799
Well, what, to clean it out?
574
00:21:35.440 --> 00:21:35.519
Yeah.
575
00:21:35.559 --> 00:21:38.329
Absolute worst every two weeks, but you should be doing
576
00:21:38.349 --> 00:21:38.809
it every week.
577
00:21:38.980 --> 00:21:42.130
Yeah. So which one of these do I get? Fucking hell,
578
00:21:42.150 --> 00:21:45.390
they're mental these days. I'd love to live in that.
579
00:21:45.880 --> 00:21:47.880
No, you don't want to get that. You're not deep enough.
580
00:21:48.180 --> 00:21:48.619
I'll show you.
581
00:21:48.779 --> 00:21:50.759
Oh, there you go. Perfect.
582
00:21:50.819 --> 00:21:51.170
That's it.
583
00:21:51.799 --> 00:21:53.720
And so do I have to change all of that
584
00:21:53.759 --> 00:21:54.539
stuff every week?
585
00:21:54.880 --> 00:21:58.029
Oh, you'd basically have to throw away all of the sawdust.
586
00:21:58.069 --> 00:21:58.769
Not sawdust.
587
00:21:58.789 --> 00:22:01.630
What's it called? Wood chippings? Wood shavings?
588
00:22:01.910 --> 00:22:02.109
No.
589
00:22:02.130 --> 00:22:02.190
No.
590
00:22:04.670 --> 00:22:08.450
I don't know what it's called. But get the glass bottle, Mum,
591
00:22:08.490 --> 00:22:11.329
so that the hamster can burrow and the kids can
592
00:22:11.390 --> 00:22:12.130
see inside it.
593
00:22:12.539 --> 00:22:13.380
Yeah, okay.
594
00:22:13.390 --> 00:22:17.680
They're really good fun, but that will be awake, running around,
595
00:22:17.799 --> 00:22:20.859
making noise, chewing, going on a wheel that will squeak,
596
00:22:20.900 --> 00:22:24.180
and that will keep your daughter awake danger.
597
00:22:24.200 --> 00:22:26.519
Oh, my God. What about the cat?
598
00:22:27.240 --> 00:22:28.779
Oh, the cat will be fucking terrorising it, so you
599
00:22:28.799 --> 00:22:29.740
need to keep the cat away from it.
600
00:22:29.900 --> 00:22:31.720
Yeah, so what's the deal? We have to keep my
601
00:22:31.740 --> 00:22:33.390
daughter's doors closed.
602
00:22:34.329 --> 00:22:36.529
Yeah, I'd probably keep a door shut, yeah, to stop
603
00:22:36.549 --> 00:22:39.130
the cat getting at the hamster. Because the cat won't
604
00:22:39.150 --> 00:22:40.450
be able to get into the cage, but it will
605
00:22:40.470 --> 00:22:42.480
just terrorise it. But then it might just see it
606
00:22:42.500 --> 00:22:45.240
and ignore it because it's not seeing it run across
607
00:22:45.259 --> 00:22:45.720
the room, you know?
608
00:22:45.740 --> 00:22:47.240
Yeah, oh my God.
609
00:22:47.519 --> 00:22:50.559
And can we get the hamster out and play with it? Yes,
610
00:22:50.599 --> 00:22:53.160
but you've got to do that very early doors and
611
00:22:53.279 --> 00:22:55.380
get it comfortable, but it probably will still bite.
612
00:22:56.130 --> 00:22:56.299
Yeah.
613
00:22:56.410 --> 00:22:59.019
And they've got massive teeth. So you've got to play
614
00:22:59.059 --> 00:23:01.180
with it a lot. Sometimes a good way is to
615
00:23:01.220 --> 00:23:01.990
sit in the bath with it.
616
00:23:02.339 --> 00:23:03.119
Oh, yeah, that's a good idea.
617
00:23:03.140 --> 00:23:04.099
Because then it can't really get out.
618
00:23:04.400 --> 00:23:05.079
Not with water.
619
00:23:05.660 --> 00:23:05.859
No.
620
00:23:07.319 --> 00:23:10.329
Give it a go. And then let it crawl around
621
00:23:10.349 --> 00:23:11.369
you and get used to it. And then you can
622
00:23:11.390 --> 00:23:14.250
let it walk over your hands. Don't just grab it
623
00:23:14.289 --> 00:23:15.170
straight away kind of thing.
624
00:23:15.369 --> 00:23:20.839
My mate, on his street WhatsApp group yesterday, someone had lost,
625
00:23:20.930 --> 00:23:26.529
their pet had got out. Yeah. Pythons. I couldn't, he
626
00:23:26.549 --> 00:23:28.470
sent me a screen grab of it. I couldn't believe it.
627
00:23:28.490 --> 00:23:29.230
Could you see the part?
628
00:23:29.250 --> 00:23:29.769
Could you see it?
629
00:23:29.769 --> 00:23:33.089
Send me the part. And the thing was, styled as,
630
00:23:34.650 --> 00:23:36.430
our son's really upset because we've lost our pet, not
631
00:23:36.609 --> 00:23:37.369
Snake on the Loose.
632
00:23:37.390 --> 00:23:38.869
There's a massive fucking python on the loose.
633
00:23:40.319 --> 00:23:43.039
Which, I think they've buried the lead. Like, I think
634
00:23:43.059 --> 00:23:45.400
the main story here is Snake on the Loose.
635
00:23:45.420 --> 00:23:47.539
Also, I'm not getting off my chair for a cat
636
00:23:48.200 --> 00:23:48.799
that's gone missing.
637
00:23:49.140 --> 00:23:49.339
Yeah.
638
00:23:49.400 --> 00:23:50.859
If there's a python on the loose, I'm having a look.
639
00:23:51.019 --> 00:23:53.680
Also, tell you what, that's the kind of thing that,
640
00:23:54.140 --> 00:23:56.319
Lou looks out at 3 a.m. on her phone, screams,
641
00:23:56.380 --> 00:23:57.440
and your daughter never.
642
00:23:57.220 --> 00:23:59.480
Goes to sleep. There's a siphon on the loose.
643
00:23:59.500 --> 00:23:59.920
Give over, Lou.
644
00:23:59.980 --> 00:24:00.859
It's been a couple of weeks.
645
00:24:06.319 --> 00:24:06.660
Anyway.
646
00:24:06.680 --> 00:24:08.400
That's exciting, though, the hamster.
647
00:24:08.720 --> 00:24:09.779
Yeah, but.
648
00:24:10.259 --> 00:24:11.400
They're fun pets, but you've got.
649
00:24:11.559 --> 00:24:13.789
I'm worried I'm going to get saddled with it. 100%.
650
00:24:13.789 --> 00:24:16.990
There's... Oh, my God, it's huge.
651
00:24:17.029 --> 00:24:19.970
Do you... That's the python, by the way, for those
652
00:24:20.049 --> 00:24:22.549
at home. Those.
653
00:24:25.509 --> 00:24:27.130
Have your daughters got a hamster still?
654
00:24:27.210 --> 00:24:28.730
No, no, the hamster's been and gone.
655
00:24:29.119 --> 00:24:30.819
And did you clean it out solo?
656
00:24:31.460 --> 00:24:31.740
What's that?
657
00:24:32.180 --> 00:24:33.130
Or did they help you?
658
00:24:33.150 --> 00:24:33.650
His name was Woody.
659
00:24:34.869 --> 00:24:36.819
Do you clean it out with your daughters?
660
00:24:36.839 --> 00:24:39.579
Sandals are quite good, aren't they? They would help me
661
00:24:39.680 --> 00:24:42.420
build it. They would help me... They wouldn't help me
662
00:24:42.440 --> 00:24:46.160
clean it out because also, they actually... It's easier just
663
00:24:46.180 --> 00:24:46.779
to do yourself.
664
00:24:47.240 --> 00:24:47.720
I actually quite.
665
00:24:47.759 --> 00:24:51.279
I found it quite... Meditative. Yes, and quite calming because.
666
00:24:51.359 --> 00:24:53.049
I do that with the fish. I find that.
667
00:24:53.069 --> 00:24:55.269
Because it smells after a while and you get rid
668
00:24:55.289 --> 00:24:58.109
of all that horrible smell and also making... make and
669
00:24:58.130 --> 00:25:00.210
then the ball and the hamsters in the ball having
670
00:25:00.230 --> 00:25:02.849
a lovely time running charging about yeah yeah um i
671
00:25:02.910 --> 00:25:05.529
actually quite enjoyed creating a lovely space for the hamster
672
00:25:05.750 --> 00:25:06.869
which is why i did a bit of research and
673
00:25:06.910 --> 00:25:09.069
those glass ones so the kids can see inside it
674
00:25:09.349 --> 00:25:11.029
and the hamster will burrow through and make a lovely
675
00:25:11.069 --> 00:25:14.190
little house so but i enjoyed making it but i'm
676
00:25:14.250 --> 00:25:16.359
buying loads of stuff to make it look cool and
677
00:25:16.380 --> 00:25:17.960
stuff like that so that's a fun thing go to
678
00:25:17.980 --> 00:25:21.319
the pet shop to get the stuff and then your
679
00:25:21.359 --> 00:25:23.220
daughter will help you build it go what should we
680
00:25:23.240 --> 00:25:25.150
put in it and she'll be like You know, we've
681
00:25:25.190 --> 00:25:27.220
got this carrot or whatever. So that was quite nice.
682
00:25:27.640 --> 00:25:27.960
Great.
683
00:25:28.000 --> 00:25:29.480
But yeah, they're not going to clean it out. And also, actually,
684
00:25:30.099 --> 00:25:31.579
they're quite awkward. They're quite heavy.
685
00:25:31.940 --> 00:25:33.539
So where did you have it? Not in the bedroom?
686
00:25:34.160 --> 00:25:38.339
No, we had ours in, like, the sort of kitchen area.
687
00:25:38.400 --> 00:25:40.799
Not in the kitchen, but, like, we had an open-plan
688
00:25:40.819 --> 00:25:42.519
kitchen living area at our old house.
689
00:25:43.059 --> 00:25:45.740
The good thing about doing this visualised is I can
690
00:25:45.779 --> 00:25:47.319
look at the camera there, like, kind of.
691
00:25:47.319 --> 00:25:49.109
That's a weird thing to do.
692
00:25:49.769 --> 00:25:51.029
Like kind of Frankie Howard, like.
693
00:25:52.250 --> 00:25:58.759
I go, Python on the loose. On the neighbourhood WhatsApp group,
694
00:25:58.779 --> 00:26:00.000
it said the Python's on the loose. I was like,
695
00:26:00.019 --> 00:26:07.299
I've been here two weeks already. But yeah, so, but yes,
696
00:26:07.319 --> 00:26:08.779
but at night they come out in the loud, but
697
00:26:08.839 --> 00:26:11.059
it's fun. They'll enjoy it, I think. But you will
698
00:26:11.079 --> 00:26:11.589
have to do it all.
699
00:26:11.839 --> 00:26:13.480
Okay, cool. Cool. Okay.
700
00:26:13.500 --> 00:26:15.920
Do you want, should I tell you what I did yesterday?
701
00:26:16.579 --> 00:26:17.000
Yeah, yeah.
702
00:26:17.279 --> 00:26:19.160
I took my youngest to a first football match.
703
00:26:19.819 --> 00:26:20.160
Oh yeah.
704
00:26:20.519 --> 00:26:23.740
Arsenal women's versus Man City women's at the Emirates.
705
00:26:24.410 --> 00:26:28.619
You didn't need the women's Aftermath set, eh? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
706
00:26:29.190 --> 00:26:32.059
But it is like, it's great. It's so much fun.
707
00:26:32.180 --> 00:26:33.579
I spoke about it before about how good it is
708
00:26:33.599 --> 00:26:35.619
for families and stuff. But she absolutely loved it and
709
00:26:35.640 --> 00:26:36.549
she was properly into it.
710
00:26:37.599 --> 00:26:38.579
Is she into football?
711
00:26:38.859 --> 00:26:41.009
Not really, but I think she enjoyed the event of it.
712
00:26:41.019 --> 00:26:42.920
She enjoyed celebrating. She's laughing at me.
713
00:26:42.940 --> 00:26:46.180
And Arsenal. I know you're an Arsenal fan anyway. Yeah. But.
714
00:26:46.769 --> 00:26:50.029
It feels like that's the place to go where loads
715
00:26:50.069 --> 00:26:51.910
of people go to watch women's football.
716
00:26:51.930 --> 00:26:54.250
Yeah, so last year they were selling out at the Emirates,
717
00:26:54.289 --> 00:26:56.750
which is like the men's 60,000. This time they sold 48,000.
718
00:26:56.730 --> 00:27:02.990
But what they were doing, 40 or 48,000. is that
719
00:27:03.109 --> 00:27:04.849
I spoke to the club about it. When they did
720
00:27:04.910 --> 00:27:06.700
it and sold it out last season, they hammered the
721
00:27:06.720 --> 00:27:09.299
advertising at quite a big cost to make people aware
722
00:27:09.319 --> 00:27:10.619
of it. So what they've done this year is gone,
723
00:27:10.900 --> 00:27:13.240
if we don't advertise it, how many people are coming
724
00:27:13.319 --> 00:27:16.569
just to get a gauge on actual regular people that
725
00:27:16.609 --> 00:27:19.089
they aren't doing sort of targeted advertising for? So 40,000
726
00:27:19.089 --> 00:27:21.410
to 48,000 is still a massive number. So they're trying
727
00:27:21.430 --> 00:27:23.349
to work out what the average gate is. And they're
728
00:27:23.369 --> 00:27:25.309
doing eight out of 11 games at the Emirates. And
729
00:27:25.329 --> 00:27:27.279
it's brilliant. It's a really good, fun family event to
730
00:27:27.299 --> 00:27:29.349
go to. And, like, they've got a good team arson
731
00:27:29.390 --> 00:27:31.910
as well, but they've got, like, Beth Mead and Russo, like,
732
00:27:31.950 --> 00:27:34.470
England players. What's quite weird for me as well, me
733
00:27:34.519 --> 00:27:37.440
taking my daughters to football now, I'm like this sort of, like,
734
00:27:37.460 --> 00:27:40.420
very modern dad, progressive, let's go to the women's football game,
735
00:27:40.660 --> 00:27:42.539
you know, support the women's game, stuff like that. And
736
00:27:42.579 --> 00:27:45.650
Lou is, like, taking them to musical theatre. She's like
737
00:27:45.670 --> 00:27:52.569
the dinosaur. smothering them with heteronorms. All I've got to
738
00:27:52.630 --> 00:27:54.069
do is go down the fucking foot, but I'm a
739
00:27:54.089 --> 00:27:58.430
fucking three, three thinking modern legend. We loved it. She
740
00:27:58.450 --> 00:28:00.109
loved it. And it was great. You know, really good,
741
00:28:00.259 --> 00:28:04.220
really good day. Her favorite, uh, player though, is the, the,
742
00:28:04.240 --> 00:28:07.019
the goalkeeper for man city. Um, Yamashita.
743
00:28:07.539 --> 00:28:07.779
Oh yeah.
744
00:28:07.980 --> 00:28:12.140
Spell S H I T A. Uh, Yamashita. Yeah. Um,
745
00:28:12.309 --> 00:28:20.660
we'll just shout in Yamashita. Ha, The whole game. And, Yamashita. Oh, Yamashita. Oh, Yamashita.
746
00:28:20.960 --> 00:28:23.680
And did you, did she spot that or had you
747
00:28:23.720 --> 00:28:24.480
pointed it out to her?
748
00:28:25.539 --> 00:28:26.160
This fun legend.
749
00:28:26.279 --> 00:28:27.420
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
750
00:28:27.940 --> 00:28:29.680
Have a look at, I was like, have a look
751
00:28:29.700 --> 00:28:31.349
at the, have a look at the Man City goalkeepers now.
752
00:28:32.230 --> 00:28:35.069
She was like, what?
753
00:28:35.130 --> 00:28:35.569
Read it out.
754
00:28:35.950 --> 00:28:37.390
How do you say that one? And I knew it
755
00:28:37.490 --> 00:28:41.069
was Shita. That's how you say it in Japanese, isn't it? Yamashita.
756
00:28:41.710 --> 00:28:42.869
And I just went, off you go.
757
00:28:43.450 --> 00:28:43.549
Ha!
758
00:28:44.390 --> 00:28:46.400
Enjoy it.
759
00:28:46.990 --> 00:28:48.950
Mum's not here. Knock yourself out.
760
00:28:49.859 --> 00:28:52.380
And then when we were driving home, she was going, Yamashita.
761
00:28:52.440 --> 00:28:55.119
And I was going, Yamashita. And I went, if you want,
762
00:28:55.180 --> 00:28:57.759
just scream Yamashita as loud as you want. Because it
763
00:28:57.779 --> 00:29:00.440
was in the countryside bit. I mean, just scream Yamashita
764
00:29:00.460 --> 00:29:02.740
as loud as you want. And she just went mental.
765
00:29:02.849 --> 00:29:05.430
And I did it. And I did it really like, Yamashita.
766
00:29:05.450 --> 00:29:08.210
And we were just pissing ourselves off here. Of just
767
00:29:08.369 --> 00:29:13.349
being able to say shit. So we went to the
768
00:29:13.369 --> 00:29:15.809
first game. She absolutely loved it. She had a scarf.
769
00:29:15.829 --> 00:29:17.710
She was swinging it around and enjoying the game and
770
00:29:17.769 --> 00:29:19.970
cheering and booing the other team and all that good fun.
771
00:29:20.170 --> 00:29:21.599
And we got a taxi. We got a black cab
772
00:29:21.680 --> 00:29:25.400
to London Bridge Station from Holloway Road around there and
773
00:29:25.619 --> 00:29:28.500
got in it. And I was like, oh, she had
774
00:29:28.539 --> 00:29:31.519
an Arsenal scarf and an Arsenal programme. And the kids went,
775
00:29:31.779 --> 00:29:33.420
do you want that? And it was a Tottenham programme.
776
00:29:33.420 --> 00:29:35.170
I went, not now, but I might need to go
777
00:29:35.170 --> 00:29:36.859
to a toilet later. So I might use it.
778
00:29:36.859 --> 00:29:39.279
Ah, lovely, lovely bit of biz. Lovely bit of biz.
779
00:29:39.319 --> 00:29:40.700
Get me on TalkSport.
780
00:29:40.819 --> 00:29:43.680
Exactly. He laughed, I laughed, my daughter was like, what's
781
00:29:43.720 --> 00:29:46.640
going on? But whatever. Anyway, so she sat in the back,
782
00:29:46.720 --> 00:29:48.720
Arsenal scarf on, all buzzing from her first game like that.
783
00:29:49.099 --> 00:29:50.740
And we were just chatting about it. Oh, he went
784
00:29:50.759 --> 00:29:52.299
to Arsenal's women's game. He went, oh yeah, so they're
785
00:29:52.319 --> 00:29:54.069
playing them there. And I went, yeah, they do some there,
786
00:29:54.109 --> 00:29:55.829
some at their other ground, blah, blah, blah. And it
787
00:29:55.849 --> 00:29:57.250
was a really good, really fun day out. And he
788
00:29:57.269 --> 00:29:59.730
started talking about the other Arsenal-Man City game later on.
789
00:30:00.019 --> 00:30:03.200
and all that, and stuff like that. And I was
790
00:30:03.420 --> 00:30:05.220
getting on well with him. And then my daughter's there,
791
00:30:05.309 --> 00:30:09.049
a young woman to be, and he goes, well, the
792
00:30:09.069 --> 00:30:12.029
thing is with me, I don't think women should play
793
00:30:12.049 --> 00:30:12.670
football at all.
794
00:30:13.109 --> 00:30:13.349
What?
795
00:30:13.809 --> 00:30:17.369
Not like... That's mad.
796
00:30:17.670 --> 00:30:21.180
Like, to say... No, I'm not going... That's mad. Obviously,
797
00:30:21.200 --> 00:30:24.180
it's mad he thinks that, but I mean, to say that,
798
00:30:24.799 --> 00:30:26.799
In front of a little girl. A little girl who's
799
00:30:26.859 --> 00:30:28.180
just been to a women's football match.
800
00:30:28.200 --> 00:30:30.700
Yeah, and come out all happy, right? And I just went, what?
801
00:30:31.339 --> 00:30:32.920
It was so shocking. It was so mental.
802
00:30:32.940 --> 00:30:33.240
I went, what?
803
00:30:33.279 --> 00:30:35.279
And he went, yeah, they just shouldn't be allowed.
804
00:30:35.339 --> 00:30:36.160
And I went, why?
805
00:30:36.180 --> 00:30:37.789
He went, it just looks wrong.
806
00:30:39.250 --> 00:30:40.289
And I'm like, pardon?
807
00:30:40.390 --> 00:30:42.390
And he went, and then I, but look, now at this.
808
00:30:42.289 --> 00:30:45.150
Point, look. And is your daughter clocking it? She's, yeah.
809
00:30:45.279 --> 00:30:47.720
She's like, what? And also she could, I'm not getting angry,
810
00:30:47.759 --> 00:30:49.839
but she can tell, you know me, Josh, I'm a
811
00:30:49.859 --> 00:30:52.519
very friendly, nice person. But if I don't like someone
812
00:30:53.099 --> 00:30:55.279
and they're giving it to me, I will fucking rip
813
00:30:55.299 --> 00:30:57.220
them apart. Cause, and I can do that from doing standup.
814
00:30:57.240 --> 00:30:59.299
And it sounds like, but like, if I don't like,
815
00:30:59.500 --> 00:31:01.259
I could be a really good bully if I wanted
816
00:31:01.279 --> 00:31:03.819
to be one. You know, when we slag off people,
817
00:31:03.839 --> 00:31:06.329
we don't like off air. I'm good at it, aren't I?
818
00:31:06.849 --> 00:31:08.490
And I just got my back up so much. I went,
819
00:31:08.509 --> 00:31:12.319
you what? And he went, it just looks wrong. I went,
820
00:31:12.619 --> 00:31:15.500
that is ridiculous. He went, but I'm old school. And
821
00:31:15.539 --> 00:31:17.059
I went, well, it's good the old school are all
822
00:31:17.099 --> 00:31:20.359
dying out. Because he was a bit older. He was
823
00:31:20.380 --> 00:31:21.799
like 60 or something. I went, it was good that
824
00:31:21.819 --> 00:31:24.240
all the old school were dying, innit? With views like that,
825
00:31:25.240 --> 00:31:27.920
we don't want those views around anymore. I'm glad the
826
00:31:27.960 --> 00:31:28.900
old school's dying.
827
00:31:29.819 --> 00:31:30.680
What did your daughter do?
828
00:31:31.059 --> 00:31:32.720
She's sort of just looking at a thing. But I
829
00:31:32.869 --> 00:31:35.230
wasn't shouting. I was just like, well, I'm glad the
830
00:31:35.269 --> 00:31:38.630
old school's dying out. And then he went, Well, I
831
00:31:38.690 --> 00:31:40.450
am just old school, though. I'm old school. And then
832
00:31:40.470 --> 00:31:42.170
he went on this weird little prepared rant about being
833
00:31:42.210 --> 00:31:47.200
old school. And he went, I do a job. I went, right, OK.
834
00:31:47.339 --> 00:31:50.039
He went, I do a job. I've learned a skill.
835
00:31:50.079 --> 00:31:52.579
Because he's a black cab driver. I've learned all the roads.
836
00:31:52.619 --> 00:31:53.220
You tell him what to go.
837
00:31:53.279 --> 00:31:53.539
I'll go.
838
00:31:53.920 --> 00:31:56.880
I don't need no computer. Even though he has to
839
00:31:56.920 --> 00:32:00.150
take car by law. I don't need no computer. I've
840
00:32:00.170 --> 00:32:03.609
got a job. And he went, you. No one does
841
00:32:03.650 --> 00:32:05.309
a job no more. I'm old school. I actually do
842
00:32:05.369 --> 00:32:08.900
a job. I bet your job. Without a computer... Could
843
00:32:08.980 --> 00:32:13.519
you do your job? And I went, yeah. I'm a
844
00:32:13.539 --> 00:32:16.309
stand-up comedian. I get up and I talk and make
845
00:32:16.329 --> 00:32:18.470
people laugh. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't, but that's
846
00:32:18.490 --> 00:32:20.569
my job. He went, yeah, but you need a computer
847
00:32:20.589 --> 00:32:23.910
to write your jokes down, don't you? And I went, no, no, no.
848
00:32:24.150 --> 00:32:25.910
I went, I'll sometimes scrap a paper.
849
00:32:26.150 --> 00:32:29.539
You'd actually be quite disappointed to see the notes if
850
00:32:29.579 --> 00:32:30.839
you brought tickets to my tour.
851
00:32:30.880 --> 00:32:30.980
Yeah.
852
00:32:31.829 --> 00:32:33.890
I don't start writing jokes down without a punchline. And
853
00:32:33.910 --> 00:32:35.029
most of the time, I don't have one to start.
854
00:32:35.470 --> 00:32:37.549
And I went, no. I went, oh, I don't use
855
00:32:37.589 --> 00:32:40.210
a computer. I just remember it.
856
00:32:40.210 --> 00:32:41.049
And he went, what?
857
00:32:41.539 --> 00:32:43.079
Because basically, he's old school.
858
00:32:43.259 --> 00:32:43.839
He went, what?
859
00:32:43.900 --> 00:32:44.980
I went, I just remember.
860
00:32:45.000 --> 00:32:48.200
He went, oh. Like the knowledge, mate.
861
00:32:49.500 --> 00:32:52.500
And he went, oh, well, that's very unusual for when
862
00:32:52.519 --> 00:32:55.470
I normally talk to people that have a computer. And
863
00:32:55.509 --> 00:32:56.970
I was like, what? And then I was like, you
864
00:32:57.069 --> 00:32:58.690
know what, mate? It's just like, even if you do
865
00:32:58.730 --> 00:33:00.900
write it down, It's just, fair enough, I do need
866
00:33:00.920 --> 00:33:03.099
a computer for these podcasts. But I was like, that's
867
00:33:03.279 --> 00:33:05.680
another one of my jobs. But I was like, you
868
00:33:05.779 --> 00:33:09.519
can't be that angry at technology. I'm like, you know,
869
00:33:09.539 --> 00:33:11.960
but I'll go, you've got a proper job. All right then,
870
00:33:12.279 --> 00:33:14.740
be a taxi driver without a fucking car or an
871
00:33:14.799 --> 00:33:15.519
engine or wheels.
872
00:33:16.619 --> 00:33:18.519
I mean, I bet he's got a phone.
873
00:33:18.960 --> 00:33:22.529
Yeah, of course he has. Fucking logged into X, reading
874
00:33:22.549 --> 00:33:23.630
a load of shit, the silly old.
875
00:33:24.049 --> 00:33:29.430
Also, computers have a... Computers haven't come up with the
876
00:33:29.490 --> 00:33:32.869
idea of women's football. Like, it's not AI generated.
877
00:33:32.890 --> 00:33:37.099
He was just an absolute knob. And I hated him.
878
00:33:37.750 --> 00:33:40.539
When I'm in those situations, how do you end the
879
00:33:40.579 --> 00:33:41.400
taxi drive?
880
00:33:41.839 --> 00:33:43.640
No tip, for a start. I'm a big tipper.
881
00:33:43.880 --> 00:33:47.019
Yeah. But you can't use your Apple Pay. What's that?
882
00:33:47.839 --> 00:33:48.299
Sorry, mate.
883
00:33:48.599 --> 00:33:49.140
Sorry, mate.
884
00:33:49.160 --> 00:33:52.480
No computers in here, is it? Cash. I do take card.
885
00:33:52.599 --> 00:33:54.420
Cash preferred. Gives you don't have to pay any fucking tax.
886
00:33:54.599 --> 00:33:57.940
And look, I don't... Black cab drivers get, I think,
887
00:33:57.980 --> 00:34:01.660
sometimes an unfair rep, right? But, you know, most black
888
00:34:01.680 --> 00:34:04.589
cab drivers are working class, sort of. They're great. My
889
00:34:04.630 --> 00:34:06.170
dad was a black cab driver. My brother was a
890
00:34:06.190 --> 00:34:08.409
black cab driver, right? However, what you've got to remember
891
00:34:08.510 --> 00:34:12.050
is a lot of black cab drivers are toxic men
892
00:34:12.130 --> 00:34:15.170
that can't exist in a workplace, right? so they have
893
00:34:15.190 --> 00:34:15.869
to work alone.
894
00:34:16.690 --> 00:34:17.409
That's what it is.
895
00:34:18.130 --> 00:34:23.769
It's a place for people that can't coexist to exist. Yeah.
896
00:34:23.929 --> 00:34:26.449
There's a reason why you have to be away from
897
00:34:26.489 --> 00:34:29.579
people in most jobs, isn't it? But anyway, he just
898
00:34:29.699 --> 00:34:32.719
absolutely dumbed me in. And I want to have a really, like.
899
00:34:32.739 --> 00:34:35.880
What I don't get is I've never got the confidence
900
00:34:36.440 --> 00:34:39.699
even to express a mild opinion with a stranger. No.
901
00:34:40.440 --> 00:34:43.219
I'll just, if I think, there's a danger they won't
902
00:34:43.260 --> 00:34:45.679
agree with this. I'm not going in.
903
00:34:45.699 --> 00:34:48.199
Yeah, but you wouldn't, in front of a child that's
904
00:34:48.219 --> 00:34:50.039
gone through a first... If I was.
905
00:34:49.960 --> 00:34:53.260
Sat with a stranger and they said, what do you
906
00:34:53.300 --> 00:34:55.219
think about Brexit?
907
00:34:55.739 --> 00:34:55.889
Yeah.
908
00:34:56.159 --> 00:34:59.570
I'd go, do you know what? I don't think it's
909
00:34:59.610 --> 00:35:01.710
a good idea that we have this conversation.
910
00:35:01.829 --> 00:35:03.429
Yeah. I'd also go, I don't know.
911
00:35:03.769 --> 00:35:05.769
Just tap out of it. Yeah, it was a long
912
00:35:05.809 --> 00:35:08.190
time ago, wasn't it? Did you see the football? Do
913
00:35:08.210 --> 00:35:10.349
you know what I mean? Anything, you've got to say
914
00:35:10.369 --> 00:35:11.800
that's an extreme view to be.
915
00:35:12.650 --> 00:35:16.659
Not even professionally? No. Down the park? It looks weird.
916
00:35:16.719 --> 00:35:20.139
To what? To who, you dick? So I just disagreed
917
00:35:20.159 --> 00:35:22.219
with him and explained why I disagreed. But then what
918
00:35:22.239 --> 00:35:24.659
annoyed me, this annoyed me, though, after this calmed down
919
00:35:24.679 --> 00:35:26.659
a bit, I said to him, earlier in the day,
920
00:35:26.679 --> 00:35:28.619
we couldn't go through the city because there was a
921
00:35:28.780 --> 00:35:31.119
race on, some sort of fun run thing. And I said.
922
00:35:31.320 --> 00:35:34.050
Women running in it? Or just men? I don't know.
923
00:35:34.070 --> 00:35:36.449
Did that look weird to you? Women running? Running away
924
00:35:36.469 --> 00:35:36.679
from you?
925
00:35:39.670 --> 00:35:44.269
Heavy glasses during overtime today I said to him are
926
00:35:45.090 --> 00:35:46.510
we alright to go through because he was heading towards
927
00:35:46.530 --> 00:35:47.889
the city are we alright to go through the city
928
00:35:47.909 --> 00:35:51.400
and I went why wouldn't we be I went okay
929
00:35:51.420 --> 00:35:54.559
because it was shut all morning for a race and
930
00:35:54.579 --> 00:35:57.940
he went no no that finished half hour ago and I.
931
00:35:57.900 --> 00:36:00.380
Was like okay well then I thought well okay why
932
00:36:00.420 --> 00:36:02.300
be so angry because you're aware of this race that
933
00:36:02.320 --> 00:36:03.429
was in the city because you just told me it
934
00:36:03.449 --> 00:36:05.070
finished half hour ago and then I went alright then
935
00:36:05.190 --> 00:36:07.670
if you think we can go through go through and
936
00:36:07.690 --> 00:36:10.730
then he went And this annoyed me, especially after technology check.
937
00:36:11.389 --> 00:36:14.159
I've just Googled it and it's still open, so I'm
938
00:36:14.179 --> 00:36:16.599
going to go around it. I went, hello, Captain Computer.
939
00:36:17.619 --> 00:36:18.320
Ha, ha.
940
00:36:19.610 --> 00:36:22.289
Who's doing their job about computers now? But I know
941
00:36:22.309 --> 00:36:24.010
we're messing about, but the serious point is my daughter's
942
00:36:24.050 --> 00:36:27.010
there and I spoke. He's hearing that. So I clapped
943
00:36:27.030 --> 00:36:28.809
back at him and then we got out of the taxi.
944
00:36:28.889 --> 00:36:32.739
I didn't get angry in that taxi. I just basically went, no,
945
00:36:32.760 --> 00:36:34.219
that's ridiculous. And I said, I'm glad the old school's
946
00:36:34.239 --> 00:36:37.360
dying out. I was calm. My daughter didn't pick up
947
00:36:37.420 --> 00:36:39.119
on any. And I said, did you hear what that
948
00:36:39.219 --> 00:36:39.780
cab driver said?
949
00:36:39.820 --> 00:36:40.260
She went, yeah.
950
00:36:40.880 --> 00:36:42.480
And what did he say? She went, oh, that women
951
00:36:42.559 --> 00:36:45.139
shouldn't play football. And I went, all right. I went,
952
00:36:45.199 --> 00:36:48.369
is he right? She went, no. I can play. And
953
00:36:48.389 --> 00:36:52.469
then I said to him, there'll be people, mostly for women,
954
00:36:52.510 --> 00:36:54.269
men saying you can't do things, you shouldn't do things,
955
00:36:54.289 --> 00:36:56.960
you just have to ignore them. Because I think you've
956
00:36:56.980 --> 00:36:59.400
got to make that, because if they hear it enough,
957
00:36:59.420 --> 00:37:03.440
they'll start to believe it. Totally. Anyway, really, let's drop
958
00:37:03.460 --> 00:37:03.880
a wedding ring.
959
00:37:04.280 --> 00:37:05.980
Oh my God. Oh my God.
960
00:37:06.780 --> 00:37:08.400
When I get angry, I cheat.
961
00:37:08.539 --> 00:37:10.280
Louis Theroux's going to pick that up this afternoon.
962
00:37:11.340 --> 00:37:11.900
Hang on.
963
00:37:12.780 --> 00:37:14.769
You got it? Yeah, got it.
964
00:37:14.789 --> 00:37:15.449
Sorry for ranting.
965
00:37:15.530 --> 00:37:16.210
Oh, I loved it.
966
00:37:16.699 --> 00:37:17.420
But it just annoyed me.
967
00:37:17.579 --> 00:37:20.699
You haven't got a cab to do it in. If
968
00:37:20.719 --> 00:37:22.440
you had a cab, you'd have an outlet. This is
969
00:37:22.460 --> 00:37:22.920
your cab.
970
00:37:23.159 --> 00:37:25.199
But just in front of a young girl that's buzzing
971
00:37:25.219 --> 00:37:27.329
from her first... I've been looking forward to taking them
972
00:37:27.349 --> 00:37:28.769
to their first football match for years. Off the back
973
00:37:28.789 --> 00:37:31.710
of a nice conversation about it. Anyway, so yeah, I
974
00:37:31.730 --> 00:37:35.309
got quite angry about that. Anyway, so I've got a
975
00:37:35.329 --> 00:37:35.929
small business.
976
00:37:36.750 --> 00:37:40.699
Have you? So I've been sent it because... So this
977
00:37:40.800 --> 00:37:45.260
is a small business that's slightly scaling up, Rob. But
978
00:37:45.280 --> 00:37:51.329
it still qualifies. When I lived on... Spotify. Spotify. When
979
00:37:51.369 --> 00:37:55.349
I lived on Columbia Road, just behind Columbia Road, there
980
00:37:55.429 --> 00:37:58.699
used to be someone who, from their flat, she'd make
981
00:37:58.840 --> 00:38:01.960
curry of an evening, and you'd go and knock on
982
00:38:02.000 --> 00:38:04.420
her door and pay her nine quid, and she'd give you, like,
983
00:38:04.480 --> 00:38:05.480
three curries in a thing.
984
00:38:05.559 --> 00:38:05.960
Oh, nice.
985
00:38:06.360 --> 00:38:07.559
Yeah, that was ten years ago.
986
00:38:07.579 --> 00:38:09.530
Is that nine quid done that you give her a
987
00:38:09.570 --> 00:38:10.690
ten and go, don't worry about the change?
988
00:38:10.710 --> 00:38:15.880
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Respect. Clever, clever. But she's marketing her
989
00:38:15.920 --> 00:38:16.519
curries now.
990
00:38:16.539 --> 00:38:18.320
Oh, okay. Still from the house?
991
00:38:18.860 --> 00:38:20.480
No, she's got a business.
992
00:38:20.739 --> 00:38:24.039
Right, okay. Josh, this definitely sounds like a small business.
993
00:38:24.139 --> 00:38:26.260
No, no, no. Unless you're going to say it's Lloyd
994
00:38:26.300 --> 00:38:28.760
Grossman's curry. She's got it in supermarkets, though.
995
00:38:28.800 --> 00:38:30.219
Oh, I think that still counts.
996
00:38:30.719 --> 00:38:33.070
I literally was going around there with my money, and
997
00:38:33.110 --> 00:38:35.869
she was cooking it on her own cooker, and now
998
00:38:35.989 --> 00:38:42.690
she's putting Darl into supermarkets. So, I'm blown away. This
999
00:38:42.750 --> 00:38:44.150
is what makes this country great.
1000
00:38:44.349 --> 00:38:45.630
It is, isn't it?
1001
00:38:46.110 --> 00:38:50.090
So, let me just find it. It's called Spicebox. I
1002
00:38:50.110 --> 00:38:53.349
like it. And she's given us a 30% discount.
1003
00:38:53.829 --> 00:38:54.610
What, for the listeners?
1004
00:38:54.869 --> 00:38:57.210
For the listeners. Oh, what a woman.
1005
00:38:57.570 --> 00:39:01.139
So, if you go to the Spicebox website.
1006
00:39:01.260 --> 00:39:07.059
Eatspicebox.co.uk Yeah, and type in parenting30, you'll get 30% off
1007
00:39:07.099 --> 00:39:07.460
your order.
1008
00:39:07.539 --> 00:39:10.139
Fucking hell. Oh, that's nice, yeah. So some curry. Is
1009
00:39:10.159 --> 00:39:10.980
it all veggie curry?
1010
00:39:11.679 --> 00:39:13.940
Yeah, there's a dal and there's a different type of
1011
00:39:13.960 --> 00:39:15.159
dal that's spicier.
1012
00:39:15.539 --> 00:39:16.099
Moondal?
1013
00:39:16.420 --> 00:39:16.619
Yeah.
1014
00:39:16.639 --> 00:39:18.920
Is that double O? Moondal, yeah.
1015
00:39:19.360 --> 00:39:19.800
Fair enough.
1016
00:39:19.940 --> 00:39:22.219
So it's great. Double dal. Go on, Grace.
1017
00:39:22.550 --> 00:39:23.750
Go on, Grace. Oh, yes, sir.
1018
00:39:24.050 --> 00:39:26.849
Yeah. This is a proper sort of like from kitchen
1019
00:39:26.889 --> 00:39:29.449
stove to... Kitchen stove to Sainsbury's.
1020
00:39:29.769 --> 00:39:29.929
Yeah.
1021
00:39:30.050 --> 00:39:32.769
Kitchen stove. Respect, Grace. Yeah, fair play. Fair play.
1022
00:39:33.269 --> 00:39:35.250
Hi, Rob and Josh. Me and my husband, Ryan, are
1023
00:39:35.280 --> 00:39:37.110
expecting our first baby in the next couple of weeks.
1024
00:39:37.429 --> 00:39:39.320
When we first found out we were pregnant, a friend
1025
00:39:39.360 --> 00:39:42.519
recommended your podcast and we've been hooked ever since. You've
1026
00:39:42.559 --> 00:39:45.420
taught so much more than any NCT class or parenting
1027
00:39:45.460 --> 00:39:48.340
book could. And it's been so insightful to hear real-life
1028
00:39:48.360 --> 00:39:51.760
stories from real-life parents. Although, Rob, could you stop saying
1029
00:39:51.780 --> 00:39:53.820
that you shouldn't holiday the babies until they are four,
1030
00:39:54.309 --> 00:39:56.369
as my husband has very much taken this on board
1031
00:39:56.469 --> 00:39:59.769
and you're scuppering my dreams of maternity leave getaways. I
1032
00:39:59.909 --> 00:40:02.489
genuinely think up until they're about eight months, you can
1033
00:40:02.530 --> 00:40:07.219
take them on a little mini city break. I'd recommend Seville, actually,
1034
00:40:07.280 --> 00:40:10.460
because they're very family-friendly. However, between six and four, fuck
1035
00:40:10.500 --> 00:40:13.429
it off. If you want an adventure, take them. If
1036
00:40:13.449 --> 00:40:15.460
you want to relax, save your money, book somewhere nice.
1037
00:40:15.480 --> 00:40:18.659
Do you know what is a country I love, but
1038
00:40:19.039 --> 00:40:20.139
does not love kids?
1039
00:40:20.739 --> 00:40:21.000
Okay.
1040
00:40:21.260 --> 00:40:23.179
Yeah. Britain, obviously, is a country I love.
1041
00:40:23.219 --> 00:40:26.920
Who don't love kids? France. They don't love kids. The
1042
00:40:26.940 --> 00:40:27.619
Spanish love kids.
1043
00:40:27.860 --> 00:40:33.000
The Spanish love kids. The Italians fucking love them. Fucking
1044
00:40:33.039 --> 00:40:37.559
love a kid, the Italians. France. Here we go. Not
1045
00:40:37.599 --> 00:40:37.940
made for it.
1046
00:40:38.800 --> 00:40:41.079
Please go ask for a small business shout-out for Ryan's business,
1047
00:40:41.239 --> 00:40:46.780
Nottingham Bodycast, on Instagram and Facebook as Nottingham Bodycast. Altogether,
1048
00:40:46.840 --> 00:40:51.579
no underscores or anything. He offers life-size bodycasting of pregnant bellies,
1049
00:40:52.019 --> 00:40:54.320
as well as doing 3D body scans that are used
1050
00:40:54.340 --> 00:40:57.409
to create miniature statues that showcase the incredible changes a
1051
00:40:57.889 --> 00:41:01.030
body goes through during pregnancy. These make a beautiful and
1052
00:41:01.070 --> 00:41:04.349
unique keepsake to forever remember pregnancy and can be made
1053
00:41:04.429 --> 00:41:07.099
in any size or colour. Ryan's worked incredibly hard to
1054
00:41:07.119 --> 00:41:10.030
grow his business alongside working full time. I know he'd
1055
00:41:10.050 --> 00:41:12.670
appreciate a shout out if possible. Plus, the more business
1056
00:41:12.690 --> 00:41:14.929
he gets, the longer I can have off on maternity leave.
1057
00:41:15.230 --> 00:41:17.150
So who's the real winner here? Thanks so much for
1058
00:41:17.210 --> 00:41:22.360
easing us into the realties of parenthood. Stay six and relatable. Helena,
1059
00:41:22.420 --> 00:41:22.820
age 390 months.
1060
00:41:22.840 --> 00:41:23.099
Thanks, guys.
1061
00:41:25.280 --> 00:41:28.260
Yeah, no, I don't wish to poo-poo people's holidays with kids,
1062
00:41:28.300 --> 00:41:29.539
but I do think if you want a bit of
1063
00:41:29.579 --> 00:41:32.119
an adventure and travel around with kids, but if you
1064
00:41:32.280 --> 00:41:35.780
want to lay on a deck chair, lay by the pool,
1065
00:41:35.800 --> 00:41:37.519
lay by the beach, you can't because you're just following
1066
00:41:37.539 --> 00:41:38.570
these children around the whole time.
1067
00:41:38.780 --> 00:41:41.369
Do you know what's easier? We could talk about this
1068
00:41:41.449 --> 00:41:43.150
on Friday because we've got 10 minutes to fill there,
1069
00:41:43.170 --> 00:41:43.489
haven't we?
1070
00:41:43.610 --> 00:41:43.789
Yeah.
1071
00:41:44.130 --> 00:41:47.329
But the people next to us had one kid who
1072
00:41:47.369 --> 00:41:48.630
was five. Yeah.
1073
00:41:49.590 --> 00:41:51.599
And... That is much.
1074
00:41:51.420 --> 00:41:53.440
More difficult on holiday than two kids.
1075
00:41:53.900 --> 00:41:54.639
What, one child?
1076
00:41:55.000 --> 00:41:55.530
One child.
1077
00:41:55.840 --> 00:41:58.489
It's hard for single, not single parents, only children, because
1078
00:41:58.510 --> 00:41:59.670
they haven't got a mate to play with.
1079
00:41:59.690 --> 00:42:02.719
They're just desperate to play with a parent. There's no
1080
00:42:02.800 --> 00:42:05.550
point at which... they're either on their own or playing
1081
00:42:05.570 --> 00:42:05.949
with their parents.
1082
00:42:05.969 --> 00:42:08.710
See, I think this, I think they should do a
1083
00:42:08.750 --> 00:42:11.369
thing where when you check into a holiday, if you've
1084
00:42:11.409 --> 00:42:14.269
got an only child, find other people with only children
1085
00:42:14.510 --> 00:42:16.110
and then sort of team up a bit and let
1086
00:42:16.130 --> 00:42:17.650
them play like they should have a little meet and greet.
1087
00:42:18.010 --> 00:42:18.239
Yes.
1088
00:42:18.280 --> 00:42:20.380
Because what normally happens, if they're out with siblings, they
1089
00:42:20.420 --> 00:42:22.659
just play together so that then, and then that way
1090
00:42:22.699 --> 00:42:24.500
they're like, that's a good way to do it, isn't it?
1091
00:42:24.519 --> 00:42:27.059
Yeah, it's talk of a meet and greet. When I was,
1092
00:42:27.519 --> 00:42:29.760
when we were away, one of the activities, you know
1093
00:42:29.780 --> 00:42:32.619
when a hotel's got like activities? Yeah. One of them,
1094
00:42:33.139 --> 00:42:35.250
this was the wording, Meet and greet with a donkey.
1095
00:42:35.269 --> 00:42:36.130
Wow.
1096
00:42:36.760 --> 00:42:41.500
Yeah. I wish I'd gone, actually. Get my photo with
1097
00:42:41.519 --> 00:42:42.760
a donkey. See you on Friday.
1098
00:42:42.960 --> 00:42:43.880
See you on Friday, Josh.
1099
00:42:43.940 --> 00:42:45.980
It's weird ending it face to face.
1100
00:42:46.139 --> 00:42:50.619
Okay, let's turn. See you on Friday, Josh.
1101
00:42:50.639 --> 00:42:50.940
See you.
1102
00:42:52.199 --> 00:42:52.889
That was better.
1103
00:42:52.909 --> 00:43:03.170
Yeah, that was better. I'm Max Rushton. I'm David O'Doherty.
1104
00:43:03.329 --> 00:43:04.449
And we'd like to invite you to listen to our
1105
00:43:04.489 --> 00:43:06.269
new podcast, What Did You Do Yesterday?
1106
00:43:06.449 --> 00:43:10.110
It's a show that asks guests the big question, quite literally,
1107
00:43:10.530 --> 00:43:11.769
what did you do yesterday?
1108
00:43:12.090 --> 00:43:12.469
That's it.
1109
00:43:12.769 --> 00:43:13.750
That is it.
1110
00:43:14.530 --> 00:43:17.070
Max, I'm still not sure, where do we put the stress?
1111
00:43:17.190 --> 00:43:21.099
Is it what did you do yesterday? What did you
1112
00:43:21.139 --> 00:43:23.019
do yesterday? You know what I mean? What did you
1113
00:43:23.059 --> 00:43:24.320
do yesterday?
1114
00:43:24.699 --> 00:43:27.239
I'm really downplaying it. Like, what did you do yesterday? Like,
1115
00:43:27.280 --> 00:43:29.860
I'm just a guy just asking a question. But do
1116
00:43:29.880 --> 00:43:30.719
you think I should go bigger?
1117
00:43:31.519 --> 00:43:32.840
What did you do yesterday?
1118
00:43:33.059 --> 00:43:34.400
What did you do yesterday?
1119
00:43:34.699 --> 00:43:37.400
Every single word this time, I'm going to try and
1120
00:43:37.420 --> 00:43:40.679
make it like it is the killer word. What did
1121
00:43:41.219 --> 00:43:44.320
you do yesterday?
1122
00:43:44.340 --> 00:43:47.869
That's too much, isn't it? That's over the top.
1123
00:43:48.329 --> 00:43:50.469
What did you do yesterday? Available wherever you get your
1124
00:43:50.489 --> 00:43:51.610
podcasts every Sunday.
1125
00:43:55.110 --> 00:43:59.889
Hello, I'm Charles Brandreth. What's the very first thing you remember?
1126
00:44:00.510 --> 00:44:03.530
That's the question. I'll be asking my famous and fascinating
1127
00:44:03.570 --> 00:44:08.489
guests in Rosebud, my new podcast about first memories and
1128
00:44:08.630 --> 00:44:14.530
first experiences. My first memory is handing my Auntie Muriel
1129
00:44:14.880 --> 00:44:19.679
a piece of turd. Other guests include Dame Judi Dench,
1130
00:44:19.940 --> 00:44:23.780
Alison Hammond and Rory Stewart. Download and listen wherever you
1131
00:44:23.800 --> 00:44:24.940
get your podcasts.
1132
00:44:28.429 --> 00:44:32.429
Hello, it's me, Jessica Knappett, and here, here, here, here,
1133
00:44:32.670 --> 00:44:35.889
brand new podcast alert. I've got a new show for you.
1134
00:44:36.250 --> 00:44:40.570
It's called Perfect Day. And yeah, you've figured out the
1135
00:44:40.610 --> 00:44:44.219
premise already, haven't you? Because you're so smart and because
1136
00:44:44.260 --> 00:44:48.659
it's obvious. Every Thursday, I interview a guest about what
1137
00:44:48.739 --> 00:44:53.500
constitutes their perfect day. So if you like hopes and dreams,
1138
00:44:54.460 --> 00:44:59.260
fantasies and sweet memories, You're going to love this stuff. Ah,
1139
00:44:59.940 --> 00:45:03.949
we have got so many lovely, funny, nice people on.
1140
00:45:04.269 --> 00:45:08.530
Your Romesh Ranganathans, your Dolly Aldertons, your Jamali Maddoxes, Arabella Weir,
1141
00:45:08.570 --> 00:45:10.789
she's doing it. Don't worry about the quality of the guest.
1142
00:45:11.050 --> 00:45:12.769
Just worry about when you're going to listen to it.
1143
00:45:13.030 --> 00:45:14.599
Or don't worry about when you're going to listen to it.
1144
00:45:14.610 --> 00:45:15.869
Just actually listen to it.
1145
00:45:16.219 --> 00:45:16.920
See you soon.
1146
00:45:17.900 --> 00:45:22.119
Jess Knapp here, signing off, wishing you a perfect day.
1147
00:45:31.880 --> 00:45:34.039
Perfect day on all your favourite podcast platforms.