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We hear the term sibling rivalry all the time. Brothers and sisters argue. They compete for attention. They push each other's buttons, and then they make up. That's a normal part of growing up in a healthy family. But what if what you experienced wasn't really sibling rivalry? What if you were ass…
Have you ever spoken up about something unfair, only to have the conversation turn to your tone, your reaction, or your personality? You pointed out the problem, but somehow, you became the problem. In a toxic family system, this is often how the truth-teller becomes the scapegoat. So why does tell…
What happens when the person you depend on for comfort is also someone you can’t depend on emotionally? As a child, I learned that love could disappear without warning. I also learned that when I was frightened or distressed, I had to handle those feelings on my own. So, how can growing up as the f…
When was the last time someone was disappointed in you, and you immediately assumed that meant you'd done something wrong? This past week, a movie producer I've worked with over the past five years asked me to come back as the accountant for another film. My availability has changed since then, and…
In many unhealthy families, there is one child who somehow ends up blamed for things they didn’t do, things they weren’t even part of, and sometimes simply for standing in the wrong place at the wrong time. It took me until my sixties to realize I had been living this pattern my whole life. Not jus…
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