Same Room, Different Beds

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ura
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you
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Learners Permit.
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Learners Permit!
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Guys, I'm sorry I'm late.
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Oh, oh no, oh, oh no, oh.
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Hey guys, it's me.
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I'm back.
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It's here.
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Welcome to the Learners Permit podcast to show our four friends locked themselves in
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a room and forcefully educated to chow down on the subjects they're most passionate about.
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Each week, one host selects a subject to educate the other three about in hopes of broadening
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their woefully narrow horizons.
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Guys, I'm so sorry that I'm late.
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I'm really, I just got back from the
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Connecticut. Can you just like take over for like half a second? Just like introduce yourselves.
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I just need to catch my breath. Hold on one minute.
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Wow.
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I mean, I guess I appreciate the apology, Cody, but this is, you know, this is not really out of the ordinary for you.
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You're always, you always have some scheme or some, some reason why you're super late all the time, even though it's your own fucking house.
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But, you know, now we've moved to remote learning.
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So, I'm gonna go ahead and start with the first one.
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So, I'm gonna start with the first one.
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So, I'm gonna start with the first one.
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So, I'm gonna start with the first one.
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So, I'm gonna start with the first one.
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So, I start with, you know, now it moves remote records.
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So, I'm gonna start with the first one.
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So, I'm gonna start with the first one.
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So, I'm gonna start with the first one.
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So, I'm gonna start with the first one.
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So, I'm gonna start with the first one, and I'm gonna go ahead and start with the second one.
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So, I'm gonna start with the first one.
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So, I'm gonna start with the first one, and second one, and third one, and fourth one, and fifth one, and last one, and sixth one, and last one, and then, you know, and then, I guess, I get along a little bit, but, you know, I'm just just taking it like a little English time out of me.
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why are you mad? I'm mad because you're late. I'm sorry. Even though I'm usually the most late
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but I'm being hypocritical. I got caught in traffic. I had a headwind. It was really windy
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today. It really slowed me down on the highway. My car is not aerodynamic at all. It's just
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really weighed me down. Talking about those Connecticut headwinds? Yeah, I've heard of those.
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Yeah, Connecticut. Is that why you have three caramel macchiatos from Starbucks right there
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in the frame of your camera? No. It's November. It's pumpkin. Is headwind what you call when you
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stop at every cafe along the way? No. Back home? No. Okay. Yeah. No. How's everyone's week going?
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Headwind is the name of a beautiful hitchhiker that you picked up. You guys had a connection
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unlike any other. Oh, he showed you his leg. What was on the leg? Special tattoo that no one else
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has ever seen? Is that what you're saying? It was a tattoo of a hitchhiker in his thumb out.
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That's wonderfully meta. Yeah, isn't it? That's crazy. He knew what he wanted to be.
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Yeah, I was going to say, is that in preparation for later in life, him becoming a hitchhiker or
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is he just accepting his fate and then he spent all the remainder of his money at a tattoo parlor
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getting a hobo tattoo? Yeah, he knew that he was going to do this, so he planned ahead and planned
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accordingly. I respect him. I respect for that. I applaud. I give him claps. And where's headwind
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now, Cody? He's somewhere in the middle of Massachusetts. I dropped him off in some town,
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probably Springfield or some shit. I don't know. Every every state has a Springfield. That's true.
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There's a Springfield, Virginia, and there's a Simpson in every single one. They're probably
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not wrong. Yeah, that's probably pretty well. Yeah, I know. Which one do you guys think is the one
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that the Simpsons is actually based on? Because I want to find out if there is if there is a
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millhouse, I want to find out where he is and for it and beat him up. I thought it was I thought
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it was Illinois. I always hated that nerd. Is there a Springfield, Illinois? Oh, yeah, there is a
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Springfield, Illinois. I don't. OK, I failed geography. Oh, that sucks. I don't even know if
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I took geography, but I would have failed it if I took it. Let me tell you, you must have taken it
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in like sixth grade. That's what you think. That's what you think. I was in a special program,
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though, that didn't involve any kind of mapping or really big words or other cultures. I was very
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xenophobic as a child. I was going to say that you're you're you're topographically challenged,
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so they bent the curriculum so you didn't have to look at maps. I know the earth is a big circle.
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Yep. Now, if you ask me to point out any particular blob on that circle and tell you what it was,
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I couldn't do that. Notice how he said circle, not sphere. So he could still be a flat earther.
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I just like to leave my options open. All right, Liam, you could point out Australia, couldn't you?
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I could point out Australia. Thank you for mentioning that, Cody. But the reason I can
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point out Australia is because Australia is the land of kings, the land of the chosen people.
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Australia is where the most bereft populace in the world was exiled, was forced, cast out from the
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most godforsaken land in the world. And they found a new bounty and a new land. And I think that
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Australia, everyone who lives in Australia, you're God's people. I just want you to know that.
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And interestingly enough, I happen to be looking at our demographics the other day. I noticed that
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we actually have a listener in Australia, which is great news for us. This is what we've been
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wanting this whole time. The reason that we've been recording this whole show is just to get
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people in Australia to listen to us. Yes. Yes. Like straight up. That's really it.
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We know you're passionate people down there. We've said it in the past. We've said it in the past.
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And I meant it every time I said it. I think Australia exports the finest culture, the funniest
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shows, the best art. I mean, geez, you got that Sydney Opera House. Look at that thing. I mean,
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I've never seen a building like it. OK, but the listener was from Western Australia,
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so we don't want to upset them too much by talking about Eastern Australia. No, no,
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they're not. Well, this is where your geographical instincts kick in, Austin. What's a good thing
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about Western Australia? I don't know much. Well, hold on. They're from Southern Australia,
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our listener B. Yeah, but you understand like our listener B from Southern Australia,
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our listener B. And if they can solve our riddles three, we shall give them a shout out for all to
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see. I don't want to dox them because there's all of like six places that you can like exist in
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Australia and not be killed by the environment. So but yeah, but they exist on the West Coast,
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Cody. So like can you really dox them, though, because all the cities down there are all really
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silly sounding places like Coxbyville or like Bungle Binch. You know, I mean, like I was trying
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to read the town names in Australia and I was getting a real kick out of it. Noites.
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Those were not real, though. That's a real one. Yeah, they were. Prove me wrong. Prove me wrong,
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Austin. No, I'm surprised, I guess. Cockle Biddy. Braille one. All right. Well, I guess I don't even
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know what to say that I was going to try to say something. First of all, I was Googling a word
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that you use because I didn't know what it meant. But what was the word bereft? I heard that before.
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But anyway, I was going to say something clever about it sounding like Grand Theft Auto cities,
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but then I realized those cities don't sound like anything I've ever heard before. So I don't know.
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So Grand Theft Auto cities don't. Grand Theft Auto cities. No, usually named after real cities in
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America. So I'd be surprised. No. Well, they just change them in in ways that are recognizable.
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Whereas like those Australian names you were saying I didn't recognize at all. Like there's
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not even a comparable likeness to. Yeah, yeah, that's true. Well, Australian exports the best
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actors, too. You know, I mean, Mel Gibson, everybody loves him. Nothing wrong with with a
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little male. Actually, I'm mad. I don't I don't I don't pay much attention to the news. I just
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know that he won some Oscars. So if I'm you know, if he's out of fashion, let me know.
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Western Australia recently pissed me off. So they used to have a beer called Emu Export.
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And I had the pleasure of trying it. And it's basically just a Coors light. But I just like
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the fact that I had an emu on there and I liked it a lot. And so I would get it. They changed it to
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Kwaka export for some reason. Now it has a Kwaka on it. Actually, I can go grab a can for you guys.
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I can show you. But yeah, now it's Kwaka export. I'm pissed. I like the the emu on like emus,
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emus more than Kwaka. Yeah, I do. Actually, that's an interesting preference. What do you mean?
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Particular reason why they won a war against the Australian government. It's true. That's OK.
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First of all, you're rooting for Australia's number one enemy. You're complaining about
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Western Australia. You're going to alienate this one listener we have. Well, we've got a foothold,
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Austin. You can't do things like I'm not complaining and I don't I'm not condemning
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Australia. I just think it's funny. That's like the that's like the one thing that I learned as a
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teenager about Australia that I could bring to the table that people didn't already know. So I
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thought it was interesting. But yeah, I like the emu wars. It's a very interesting time in their
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history. Every time we get a pleasant vibe, go on on the show, Austin. You've got to come in with
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your politics. Speaking of pleasant vibes, how was your week, Liam? How's it been? It was great.
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And speaking of politics, you know, we've recently had an election. And I think, you know,
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I just think we've got to address it a little bit because I know our listeners really want to
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know our opinions. So I'm going to give you the official learner's permit stance on what happened
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this past week here in the United States. And this is endorsed by everyone on this podcast. So I just
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we're all in agreement on this. We had a long discussion about it, Austin. I know you especially
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were a big champion of this, but there's a certain logic to what happened this past week. You know,
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I know a lot of people are feeling pretty sad, pretty surprised by the results of the
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election here in the United States. But I think anyone who was really paying attention to the
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trends isn't surprised. You know, regardless of how you feel about the result, there's one truth,
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you know, it's that with a combination of sort of the Chinese economic takeover and the consequences
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of Bidenomics. One truth really led to the fallout at the polls this past week. Oh, you know, and I
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think yes, Cody, was it Adam's attempts? No, it has nothing to do with Adam. I mean, Adam is
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someone who's he's a force of nature, of course, but he comes in after the fact. No, the reality is
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that Donald Trump won the election because of a fallout with our economy. He spoke to something.
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And that something is the fact that nowadays, women really do not be shopping. I'm so confused.
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I mean, Austin, I think you know, when Donald Trump says, make America great again, he's
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hearkening back to a time when women be shopping. What is happening? I have no idea what you're saying.
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Well, women used to do be shopping. What is this? I do not be shopping. Is this some like deep state
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Redditor shit? Like, I don't understand what what is happening. First of all, I am offended that you
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would even insinuate that I am a Redditor or part of the deep state. No, Austin, it's a fundamental
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truth. I mean, you used to we used to say it all the time. It just was a fact of life is that women
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be shopping. But it hasn't happened. Commerce has moved online. China has made cheaper alternatives
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to everything the United States offers. You know, women just don't be shopping anymore.
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Full of microplastics. We agreed on this before before this starts. So that's why I'm confused
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that you're having any kind of like, oh, yeah, I honestly have no idea what's going on. I don't
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know what's being said. Well, I just felt like we had to address it and we can move on now. I just
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want to address the election. No, no, totally. I fundamental way. I respect you coming forward
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and being the one that really says it for us. Liam, I really, you know, I have a lot of other
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things on my mind that I want to get out. But like you coming forward and being the one that really
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spoke about this topic. Thank you. I appreciate it. Look, I'm not afraid to be a truth teller.
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You know, that's all great artists are. Well, you have to because you have the ticket. Well,
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yes, I mean, I do. I do have that protection. I do have that protection. If I were to lie,
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I would lose that ticket probably. I mean, I don't know how it works, but yeah, yeah,
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I will be going to heaven. By the way, it's still in my house. Yeah, I know. Don't do it.
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You left it at his house. Yeah, he left it. I trust Cody implicitly. Yeah,
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I don't blame. Yeah, it's fine. I look I'm damned to go to it. I just want you guys to know that
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we're all going to heaven together. You're you're you're dying a car accident. You're
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fucking like pulling me up with you. You're like, I'm taking it with me. I'm I'm almost certain I
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could be wrong. I think it said admit one on there. But, you know, we are one. You never heard of a
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fucking Xerox, Austin. You can't fucking photocopy something. Come on. What's a little forgery
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between friends? That's all I'm saying. St. Peter's never going to know the difference.
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What if he becomes what if he becomes the saint of forgery by by that time? He might change.
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He's not a saint of for I don't know much about God's stuff, but there ain't no saint of for you.
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No much about God's. All right. I have a lot to get off my chest. All right. Let's get let's get
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to the week topic. Like I said, I just got back from Connecticut. I was finally I was finally able
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to muster up the courage to ask the studio manager, you know, to like, you know, go out.
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So she happened to be like going to Connecticut for the weekend for an event. And she, you know,
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offered for me to say so she so she didn't exactly say yes, it sounds like it sounds like you might
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have stashed away in the car while she was going there. No, she she let me come along. You know,
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she let me stay at the Airbnb, separate beds, separate beds. And, you know, like we went to
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the same room, same room, same room, different beds. OK. Yeah. All right. You know, like we went
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to the event and it was the event was fantastic. We'll talk about that later. Not today. So other
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time. But like through staying in Connecticut over that wonderful weekend, it was it was the
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weekend itself was great. But it was surrounded by a lot of negative things, mostly coming out
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of the state of Connecticut. I don't know what the last time you guys went to Connecticut was
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or have you ever been to Connecticut? It's been like seven, seven years, I think. Did you like
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I've been there, but Connecticut's Connecticut's one of those sundown states for me. I just know
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not to be there past dark. That's probably a good point. I only really passed through it.
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I don't think I spent any serious time there. Yeah. No one should fucking live there. That place
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sucks. That place is a literal hell hole. I don't know how anybody fucking lives there.
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This has been a topic in the back of my mind since I left that goddamn state. I'm so happy.
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I'm fucking out of that place. There are roads that were newly paved that were worse than the
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roads that hadn't been paved. They are so bumpy and terrible and dog shit. The drivers don't
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know how to fucking drive. The beer sucks. The food's only fucking mid. You can't do anything
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fucking past nine thirty. That place eats dick. I fucking hate the state of Connecticut. It should
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be removed as a New England state. Every other New England state's fantastic. Connecticut can eat my
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ass. Is your subject for the week the competition for the shittiest state in the United States? No.
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But do you really think that's... Do you really think that's Connecticut? This has been occupying
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my mind space since I left. What happened exactly outside of the shitty roads, outside of the lack
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of good food or beer? What happened while you were in Connecticut to make you feel so strongly?
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Because you don't often get so worked up like this. The studio manager and I had a fantastic
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time. Her and I got along great. We had a phenomenal time. But he was brought down by the atmosphere of
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this shitty fucking town. I just... What was the town? Do you mind saying what town you guys stayed in?
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Yeah, we went to... Oh no. Oh. Oh no. It's in my mind, but it's not there.
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I'll get back to you on that. Well, we stayed there and we got breakfast in the morning. It was okay.
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The breakfast was okay. Which ever breakfast? I had it... Actually, I thought my breakfast was
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the best meal that I had all the whole weekend. I had a kielbasa... Was it hotel breakfast? No,
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it was... No, we stayed at Airbnb, which was... They're like... It's a wood retreat. A wood
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retreat is literally right off of a fucking main highway. Is it shed in their backyard on the
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highway? It was like... Fucking stupid. Dumb. So dumb. Anyway, I had a kielbasa egg and cheese on
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a bulky roll. Delicious. I thought it was great. I ate it in like 20 seconds. It was amazing. Coffee,
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okay. Then we went to this brewery. Terrible. Beer sucked. Service was weird. What was the name
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of the brewery? Why did you name drop them? It's the town name. Brewery. I don't remember the
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fucking name. Well, then you definitely need to remember the name of the town, buddy. I gotta know.
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Yeah, no. Gotta hold them to account, Cody. This is like a Yelp review only more powerful.
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Yeah. So like also all of the fucking service people who work in this area are fucking
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sociopaths. They're like... What do you mean? They're not okay in the head.
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They said, what would you like to drink, sir? And you said, could I get a beer, please? And they
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said, yeah, right. Yeah, basically. 901. Get the fuck out of here. Willimantic. Willimantic. That
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doesn't even sound like a real town. It's a real town. Honestly, we talk about those Australian,
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the real Australian towns that I named drop. This sounds like one of those... Yeah,
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the Australian towns sound more believable than that. Willimantic. Yeah. So we stayed there.
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Hey, it was Willimantic. And then I had a Willimantic weekend with my girlfriend.
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So we stayed there, right? And there were like frog statues all over the place in this place.
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And we asked the bartender, like, what the fuck the deal is with all these frog statues? And he
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said, oh, well, when they redid the bridge, they had to set aside an X amount of money for
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a public works project. And they decided to put frogs everywhere because it has like cultural
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meaning to the town. And I was like, okay, but like, how? Well, apparently, during the French and
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Indian War, I believe, there was a settlement in that town. And the tensions were really high.
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And they were saying that, you know, there was a drought and like all the frogs that would stay in
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that pond were vying for that little pond that would have started to shrivel up because of the
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drought. So they were all like bullfrogs and they're all starting to fight each other a little bit.
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Well, the tensions were so high between, you know, the colony and the Native Americans that
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the sound of all the frogs trying to vie for power in that pond sounded like the Native Americans
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coming to try and kill the settlers. So the settlers got up and started to like get all
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hunky dory and like try to like edge into the Native American town. And then they just realized
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it's just a bunch of frogs fucking. So that town is just a fucking shitscape. Yeah. I was going to
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say that that that whole town origin story sounds like some stupid ass white people shit. No,
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totally. So that was stupid. You have to be to think that a bunch of frogs fucking a bunch of
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frogs is like a raiding party of any kind. Yep. Also just speaks to the general attitude back then
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of like always, always feeling you're under attack, even though you're the goddamn invader.
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Jesus Christ. So I wish this place sucked. Anyway, that's not what we're going to talk about today.
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Unless you guys have anything else you want to talk about for Connecticut. Well, I'd like to
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it just sounds like you went somewhere and the food was bad and the service sucked. The service
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sucked. The food sucks. Kind of an atmosphere. The atmosphere sucked. Like I've been I've been
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I've been around. I've been around. It was supposed to be like a semi relaxing weekend.
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This sounds like a mediocre experience, but not like something that would set you off like this.
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There had to be some particular thing that really got stuck in your craw.
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Connecticut just sucks dude. Connecticut just fucking sucks dude. So it's just a vibes thing.
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It's a vibes thing. That place sucks. I really don't understand how I can't argue with that.
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I don't understand how Connecticut is New England state. I don't get it. It's not. It's not a New
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England. I'm I don't know who considers it a New England. I'm with you. That's like saying New
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York is a New England state. New York is not a New England state. I'm with you on this, but I've been
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trying to find articles that say that Connecticut is not a New England state. I've been proven wrong
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every step of the way. I'm 100% in the boat of it should not be and it should be removed permanently
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from the continental United States. Just deliver your truth. You know, like like we talked about
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last time we spoke, you know, Metal Gear Solid was really correct. Metal Gear Solid 3 in particular
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was very correct, right? Or did you say it was the second one where the Patriots said it doesn't
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look at the internet would divide people and and everyone would exist in their own little
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bubble of information that may or may not be true. That was Metal Gear Solid 2. Well, just live in
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your own little bubble, Cody. Thank you, Liam. Connecticut's not part of New England. Just start
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a Reddit thread about it not being in New England. It sucks, dude. People will 100% rally behind you.
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You got Reddit on the brain today, Austin. I do. Are you a Redditor? No. Are you a Redditor? So a lot of the times
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I pick Reddit. I will like try to find stuff and then if I like click on a link and it sends me to
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Reddit, thankfully Reddit will be like, you can't be here. You don't have an account. And I'm like,
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OK, thanks. Wait, is that because you're trying to look for those pictures of Lois Griffin that you
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guys were pulling up the other day? Oh, no. Is that where you got those? You just you just go to Google
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for that shit. You know, it's just Google images and it filters through all of it. You don't have
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to worry about logging into Reddit for that. Yeah. So Maine, fantastic. New Hampshire, great. Vermont,
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phenomenal. Massachusetts, it's got all the atmosphere. You got the big city. You got everything
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out west. You got fucking six flags. Rhode Island. I can't speak on it. Haven't been there forever.
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I like Cody's like, you got you got the twisty. You got the twisty streets of of Boston and six flags.
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That's what Massachusetts. Well, he also said you got everything out west. Just Western Massachusetts
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is just a general. I haven't been there. You know, we all love famously everyone loves Western
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Massachusetts. Yes, the best better than Connecticut. OK, all I'm going to say is I've traveled across
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the country a couple of times. Worst place I ever fucking drove is Massachusetts. That's never going
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to change. I came home to you fuckers and you were the worst drivers in the world. I want you to know
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that. I mean, I love you dearly. You're assholes. It's all you ever can be. You'll never change. But
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no one in the world drives worse than you. I've even seen videos of all those Chinese like the
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drivers in China where there's like no rules on the road and people just drive insane. You guys
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are worse. Can I just tell you way worse? Cody, Cody, I was driving in the middle of the fucking
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day. The person behind me was on the other side of the road driving straight. They have no fucking
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clue. I thought I thought you were about to say I was driving in the middle of the road. So that's
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also what I thought he was going to say. Connecticut's worse. I was driving like a fucking crazy guy.
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Nobody stopped me. It sucks. All right, Cody, what's the topic for this week? What's the topic?
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I'm going to I'm going to pitch something to you guys. I pitch away. I'm El Presidente. All right.
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It's me. Wait, wait, I'm the president of the company. Can you get us more in like a pitch
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mindset? Do you have like a slide deck or anything that you can pull up? No. You like set the scene
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for us. What are you the president of? What's the type of pitch? We talk in like marketing,
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executive pitch, the president of the company. What company? Our company. OK, what do we make?
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What do we make? Media and who is in the company? You guys are all producers. How much do I get paid
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to be a producer? Am I an executive producer? You guys. This is it. You guys are all just producers.
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The two of you. You make forty five thousand dollars a year. Forty five thousand dollars a year. Jesus
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Christ, Cody, I make more than that now. No, Liam, roll with it like you roll the camera. I just roll
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with it. OK, yeah, fine. I'm just not that hungry for show business. I need to be paid. You make
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eighty thousand dollars a year as a producer. How about that? All right, I'll take it. All right.
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Take it. You guys. That all it takes to double your salary. You just have to be mad and then.
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Now. Yes. Now. In show business? Absolutely. Now as the president of the company,
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both of you are making eighty thousand dollars. But how did you get to be the president? Did you
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fucking suck your way to the top? You know it. Or did you get there on merit? Or are you like a
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nipple hire? I got to know you just got to set the scene proper before I fucking sucked my way up and
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I proved my worth by fucking sucking your way up to the top. Yeah. OK. So there's a position open,
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boys, for an executive producer that makes double the money. All right. It's a competition.
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Picture this. You two are vying for this role, this position. You want a new Star Wars?
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You got it. You want a new Indiana Jones movie? You got it. So you're the president of Disney?
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I literally anything you want to make a new superhero movie just named to Disney properties.
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You're naming more Disney stuff. You want to make a new Batman movie with Robert Pattinson?
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You're in. All right. You want to make another Twilight movie? You got it. You just need to get
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the position. All right. Wait, so we're pitching a movie to get the position? No,
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I'm interviewing you. You have to get the position. I'm going to give both of you the same interview
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question. It's going to be a competition between the two of you. OK, but I might interject if I have
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an objection to the interview question because I fear that your own personal biases are going to
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come into this hypothetical. But isn't that how interviews work? Yes. But if Cody's a president,
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I'm also assuming that he's a different person with different tastes and he should be judging
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our answers based on that perspective. No, you're absolutely right. But he owns the company. He's
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president of Disney in this scenario. No relation. No relation. Actually, this company bought out
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Star Wars, DC, Marvel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm a new company. Yen Sid. I don't think that's how you so
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yeah, I don't think it's how you say Disney backwards. Yes, it is. Square Enix has actually
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made so much money from Kingdom Hearts that he's able to buy all the properties. Yeah, no, he's
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absolutely right. He's the president of Square Enix. Liam, immediately understood. Yeah, I do
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understand. All right. Are you guys ready? Do you want this position? I'm ready. Liam, what would
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be the first sequel to a movie you would make? This is not an interview question. This is just
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a question. I fear that this treads on something that I'm working on. But also, I will say,
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no, no, can I say something and then we cut it from the episode because I actually have I had
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a really what I think is a really great idea for a movie and I wanted to pitch it to you guys real
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quick. Yes. Okay. You have to cut this. You cannot put this to air because I genuinely I think I want
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to write this as a spec. No, I got you. Okay. But anyway, let's cut back into the episode here
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because I'll give you a sequel. Okay. I'll give you a sequel. All right. Do I need to pitch the
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whole thing? No, don't pitch the whole thing. Just tell me what the sequel. Okay. If I had to pick
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any movie that doesn't have a sequel currently, I could make a sequel to I'd pick a recent one.
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I would pick Malignant. Yeah. Yes. Okay. I have other I have other ones on deck that I could pick,
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but I think that's the one I would pick. Okay. Awesome. I'm trying to think of a movie that has
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a definitive end because I want the sequel to be as boring as possible. Like, I think, I don't know
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what's a what's a movie? What about or actually, I'll do this. I want Good Will Hunting, except
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that fucking that. Geez, what's his name? Who's the fucking actor from that movie? Matt Damon.
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Yeah, Matt Damon's character like fast forwards, and he just relapses into being a huge piece of
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shit like that. There's no button. Yeah, there's no you don't get a second like redemption arc
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from him. It's just that he's moved on Robin Williams's character is dead. And he like can't
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see any good in the world anymore. And so he just is a fucking piece of shit again. And that's the
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movie. He follows Skyler to fucking California. And he's like, Oh, this place fucking sucks. That's
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what fucking sets him off and starts kicking the shit out of people on the fucking California cities.
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Yeah, that's what I would do. I would find a movie that has a definitive end where they tried to like
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wrap it up all nice. And it has no point to having a sequel and make a sequel to that. Wait, that
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gives me an even better idea than the one I suggested. How about a sequel to the amazing
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smash hit that we've all seen? You don't mess with the Zohan? Nope. Oh, come on. Why not, Cody
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scratched? I mean, it ends with them opening a business in a mall. I mean, and think about how
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far the politics have moved since that that movie came out. I mean, there's so much you could talk
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about so much you could explore. He'd be a small business owner, too. Can you imagine Zohan existing
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in a Trump economy? Tell me it's not ripe for stories. You can't know so but in this iteration,
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it's like mandated that the story isn't a comedy anymore. It's like, you know, it's 100% serious.
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Yeah, when they when they do like reboots of stuff, and they make it more serious, like this is the
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Zohan. But in this in this instance, like he now has PTSD that he hasn't dealt with and feels like
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he's not doing enough in the world that is his mall, but the mall is obviously failing because
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it's 2024. Nobody goes to it anymore. So there's like a whole a whole bunch for him to be downtrod
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on his luck with. And he's like, seriously considering rejoining the fight in Israel or
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something like this is what I mean. Like there's actually a like you could you could absolutely do
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a real sequel to that. Because the happiness at the end of that film does not last. He works across
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the way from the main character from uncut gems. Well, that's what I was gonna say is uncut gems
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would be another sequel movie that you could make that would be very funny because you could just
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focus on the old guy at the end, who reminds me of my friend's dad. Hell yeah. My dad. No, not your
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dad. And then we could have a scene where Zohan tries to do the the roof hopping like he did in
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the first movie. And then he yeah breaks his ankle or something. And then like he throws in a Tom
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Cruise quippy one liner about how he's not as young as he used to be. And then have like a spry sidekick
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that's not as young as I used to be. And then have the the Jewish mother make a reprisal of her role,
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but she's like much older. So it's not as big of a thrill for him anymore. Like his mother or you
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mean no that that random woman, the mother that he was fucking in the apartment. Oh, yes, yes. His
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friend's mom. Yeah. Out of his favorite part. Well, I don't love most of that movie, if that's the case.
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Every scene at the salon I hear. All right. You guys ready? First question. For what? We're doing.
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I thought you said it was only one question. No, it's multiple questions. Yeah. No, I expected the
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multiple questions. That's how an interview goes, Liam. So here's what I'm going to ask. Are we
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going to do this where we each answer each question one after the other or is it you're going to read
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all the questions one of us will answer and then one of us will answer the questions after? I will
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ask the question and I'll alternate who goes first. Right. So I'll ask a question. Austin will answer.
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Then you will answer that same question. And then that next question you will go first and then Austin
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will go first. Okay. Sounds good. I'll keep a tally of who has the best response for each of them. And
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then by the end of the question, I will promote whoever it may be to the executive producer role.
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What type of media do we already make here? Because I feel like I got to know my audience.
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Podcasts. If I were to go in for a position like this, I would do research on the person who was
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interviewing me. So I would know kind of thing they like to hear. I wouldn't care. I would just go.
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Podcasts, TV shows. That's why you'll never work in show business, Austin. You won't fucking make
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it in this town. I hope not. All right, Cody. All right. Yes, Mr. President, sir. I'm ready.
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Liam, if you were given an elephant, you can't sell it and you can't give it away. What do you do
369
00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:23,720
with it? I can't sell it and I can't give it away. Yep. What do you do with it? Define giving it away
370
00:32:23,720 --> 00:32:28,760
real quick. You is permanently in your possession. I take care of it, obviously. Is it a baby elephant
371
00:32:28,760 --> 00:32:34,120
or is it an old elephant? Full grown elephant. Well, I do my best to take care of it. But frankly,
372
00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:39,240
an elephant is kind of an agent of chaos. So I'd have to move to an environment that would be more
373
00:32:39,240 --> 00:32:43,480
easy to facilitate the elephant existing. And obviously I couldn't, like you said, I can't give
374
00:32:43,480 --> 00:32:49,800
it away. So I can't have it like exist in a zoo. Even if I even if I technically own it, I'm assuming
375
00:32:49,800 --> 00:32:54,600
you would count that as giving it away if I had it like sheltered at a zoo or a sanctuary of some
376
00:32:54,600 --> 00:33:02,600
kind. I would say kind of like horse boarding. You must go like once or twice a day, once or
377
00:33:02,600 --> 00:33:07,560
twice a day if you were to board it in a facility. OK, yeah. Well, you know what? If that's the case,
378
00:33:07,560 --> 00:33:12,440
I would move to Providence, Rhode Island. I would board it at the Roger Williams Park Zoo. And I
379
00:33:12,440 --> 00:33:19,640
would exist in a happy life in Rhode Island with a pet elephant. It was all my own. And I'd get to
380
00:33:19,640 --> 00:33:23,480
hang out with my elephant all the time. However, if that's not an option, I would be moving to the
381
00:33:23,480 --> 00:33:29,800
safari to hang out with my elephant and be one of those personal poach poacher guardsmen. I would be
382
00:33:29,800 --> 00:33:36,440
counter sniping anyone who attempted to kill or poach the elephants for their ivory. What's your
383
00:33:36,440 --> 00:33:41,480
elephant's name? What's my elephant's name? Yeah. Hephaestus. Hephaestus. Correct. Thank you,
384
00:33:41,480 --> 00:33:49,240
Liam. Austin. So my answer is actually very similar to Liam's. But I would also go to
385
00:33:49,240 --> 00:33:55,640
probably Africa was my first stop, but realistically any war torn third world country.
386
00:33:55,640 --> 00:34:02,520
And I would utilize it as a war elephant. And I would garner a following through that. So that
387
00:34:02,520 --> 00:34:09,160
would be what we would be known for is like that's the mascot. And that's where the command tower
388
00:34:09,160 --> 00:34:14,520
comes from is like from the elephant. Why am I not surprised that you want to be a white warlord in
389
00:34:14,520 --> 00:34:20,120
a non-white country? Hell yeah, brother, because we just excel at that. I can pull that off.
390
00:34:20,120 --> 00:34:26,920
And I'm going to get big hearing protection for the elephant, like comically big peltors that he
391
00:34:26,920 --> 00:34:33,720
can wear. It's just like Dumbo sized peltor hearing protection. And then we'll just go around
392
00:34:33,720 --> 00:34:37,560
and I'll have a whole bunch of different armaments up there. I'll have a whole bunch of radio
393
00:34:38,440 --> 00:34:43,560
equipment. And that'll be the war elephant, brother. He's armored, ready to go. We'll win
394
00:34:43,560 --> 00:34:47,880
every fight. People will see an elephant. They won't know what the fuck to do. People see an
395
00:34:47,880 --> 00:34:51,320
armored vehicle. They go, oh yeah, I should probably kill that. Right. You see an elephant.
396
00:34:51,320 --> 00:34:54,520
You're like, oh damn, that's kind of cool. It's weird that it's in the middle of a fight though.
397
00:34:54,520 --> 00:34:58,600
And then suddenly you get shot by somebody riding it because you weren't looking at the guy on top.
398
00:34:58,600 --> 00:35:03,560
You were looking at the fucking the trunk coming around. And actually he'll probably carry a claymore
399
00:35:03,560 --> 00:35:12,040
mine in his trunk and he can just put it right up to somebody. Just put it right on somebody and
400
00:35:12,040 --> 00:35:17,400
then I'll detonate it. So yeah, I'm going to name him. I'll name him Wakanda.
401
00:35:22,200 --> 00:35:28,600
Because you have him forever. I was, I can't even keep a straight face. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.
402
00:35:29,960 --> 00:35:38,520
Okay. Thanks. Oh man. This is great. Okay. Austin, you're back up to the plate buddy.
403
00:35:38,520 --> 00:35:42,920
Are you ready? I am. How would you convince someone to move to the moon with you?
404
00:35:44,280 --> 00:35:49,160
So basically I would tell them that I don't remember what the name of the film is,
405
00:35:49,160 --> 00:35:57,320
but there's a film where the Nazis successfully moved to the moon on the dark. What is it?
406
00:35:57,320 --> 00:36:01,080
Iron skies. Yeah. Yeah. So I would, I would basically,
407
00:36:01,640 --> 00:36:06,200
whether it was true or not, I would tell them that on the dark side of the moon, there's a secret
408
00:36:06,200 --> 00:36:13,320
Nazi moon base, like an iron skies. And we would have to go up there and eradicate that from the
409
00:36:13,320 --> 00:36:18,040
dark side of the moon. So, I mean, the goal is just to get them up there. So realistically,
410
00:36:18,040 --> 00:36:22,760
it doesn't matter if, if anything is up there. And then by the time I get up there with them,
411
00:36:22,760 --> 00:36:27,080
we'll just have a whole bunch of guns that we can shoot on the moon, which I imagine would be a cool
412
00:36:27,080 --> 00:36:31,560
experience. I mean, the backstop would probably be a huge issue. Cause if you launch a round off
413
00:36:31,560 --> 00:36:35,880
into space, like I don't even want to think about what the repercussions would be. Yeah. That's what
414
00:36:35,880 --> 00:36:40,280
I would do. Thank you. Liam, how would you convince someone's moves to the moon with you? Who is the
415
00:36:40,280 --> 00:36:47,240
someone? Marcus on the street corner. So just a random guy. Yep. See, that's why, that's why I
416
00:36:47,240 --> 00:36:52,200
went for something that people universally hate that you can rally behind. So that way it didn't
417
00:36:52,200 --> 00:36:57,000
matter who it was for me. First of all, first of all, I would do my due diligence. I would start a
418
00:36:57,000 --> 00:37:01,320
two week detail following Marcus and figuring out where he goes, what he likes, what does he eat,
419
00:37:01,320 --> 00:37:06,520
who does he hang out with, what does he do for work? What is his monthly income after I discovered
420
00:37:06,520 --> 00:37:11,960
these things, I would start a very short, but targeted campaign of advertising towards Marcus
421
00:37:11,960 --> 00:37:17,640
on social media. Now what that would involve would probably be, you know, those like clips for mobile
422
00:37:17,640 --> 00:37:24,040
games where the gameplay you see is nothing like the actual game. No, it's, it's real. I saw Anthony
423
00:37:24,040 --> 00:37:28,360
star promoting it saying that it's real. So it's real. Now I'm sure you did. And he did. So I would
424
00:37:28,360 --> 00:37:32,600
probably get Anthony star or somebody more relevant. You know, I mean, he's kind of passe at this point.
425
00:37:33,400 --> 00:37:40,040
So I would get somebody really hot. Who's hot right now. Maybe I get Sabrina carpenter to do a clip
426
00:37:40,040 --> 00:37:45,000
of how fun it is to be on the moon in this game. Right. And the game would be about working,
427
00:37:45,720 --> 00:37:51,960
whatever that whatever Marcus's dream job is, it would be like a job simulator on the moon doing
428
00:37:51,960 --> 00:37:57,160
Marcus's dream job. Maybe he wants to be a record producer, moon records, you know, or whatever.
429
00:37:57,160 --> 00:38:02,120
I'd figure it out. I'd hire a couple of Chinese children to make the game for me. And then when it
430
00:38:02,120 --> 00:38:06,760
gets, you know, put on the market, Marcus would really be the only one who needs to play it.
431
00:38:06,760 --> 00:38:10,680
Once he's gotten the idea in his head that it would be fun to do his dream job on the moon.
432
00:38:10,680 --> 00:38:16,440
Okay. That's when we really kick it at a high gear. We go phase two. Okay. We're talking dozens of
433
00:38:16,440 --> 00:38:24,760
Craigslist posts of housing on the moon, marketing, new condos, wonderful, beautiful. Okay. And they're
434
00:38:24,760 --> 00:38:29,880
cheap. They're subsidized too, but only if you work in a certain industry. What's that industry?
435
00:38:29,880 --> 00:38:35,080
Marcus's favorite industry, whatever that may be. All right. We've got a special offer. If you get
436
00:38:35,080 --> 00:38:41,320
a job with this company, which happens to be in his favorite line of work, you get half off housing
437
00:38:41,320 --> 00:38:46,520
in the free or in the new moon condos. Right. You with me. So at this point, Marcus is probably
438
00:38:46,520 --> 00:38:51,320
chomping at the bit, chomping at the bit to get some kind of real estate on the moon. And we're
439
00:38:51,320 --> 00:38:56,600
talking rental, of course. I would never sell him anything on the moon. He couldn't afford it. But
440
00:38:56,600 --> 00:39:02,200
what I mean to say is that he would be really, really, really looking to move to the moon.
441
00:39:02,200 --> 00:39:07,320
And at that point I reached out and say, Hey, I'm a recruiter. Okay. I'm a recruiter for, you know,
442
00:39:08,520 --> 00:39:13,640
lunar biscuit records or whatever. They're always named something stupid. You know, and we have a
443
00:39:13,640 --> 00:39:21,000
job opening for an entry level, you know, record analyst, just make up some shit. It doesn't have
444
00:39:21,000 --> 00:39:25,960
to be anything. Just make it sound professional. Do the interview. That takes maybe a week or so.
445
00:39:25,960 --> 00:39:31,240
Get him convinced that he's really got to move to the moon. He's got the job. He's going to learn
446
00:39:31,240 --> 00:39:35,960
the skills he wants. Then I book him a flight on, you know, space X or whatever the hell's going on,
447
00:39:35,960 --> 00:39:40,200
whatever the best commercial flight is. And I say, it's going to make a stop at the moon.
448
00:39:40,200 --> 00:39:45,880
You'll just get off with your stuff. Now, of course, I myself, this will be all a trick because I
449
00:39:45,880 --> 00:39:49,560
myself will never move to the moon. Well, you have to, then a million years. No, I just have to
450
00:39:49,560 --> 00:39:54,280
convince him to move to the moon with me. So if I am under the guise of being the recruiter, I can
451
00:39:54,280 --> 00:39:58,680
say, Hey, I'll meet you up there. We'll be training you after one week. You're going to get one week
452
00:39:58,680 --> 00:40:03,480
to acclimate to the moon's gravity, to the culture there, to the restaurants and the other people
453
00:40:03,480 --> 00:40:08,200
work at a company. Now me, I would never move to the moon. The food there sucks. The people are
454
00:40:08,200 --> 00:40:12,680
shit and I hate all of them. And I couldn't afford to live there even if I wanted to. That's the
455
00:40:12,680 --> 00:40:16,840
truth. Unless Marcus was paying me. But at that point, all the other things that I said disqualify
456
00:40:16,840 --> 00:40:21,240
me from wanting to move there, even if it was free, even if you fucking paid me. But Marcus would
457
00:40:21,240 --> 00:40:24,520
share his shit live there. Thank you, Liam. You're welcome. All right. I'm going to take a quick
458
00:40:24,520 --> 00:40:29,000
break. I don't think I've ever seen an interviewer leave in the middle of an interview. Yeah. I don't
459
00:40:29,000 --> 00:40:33,080
think I have either. It's pretty unprofessional. It sets a bad example of what working in this
460
00:40:33,080 --> 00:40:36,440
environment would be like. I'm really, I'm really sorry. You're the president, right? Yeah. Well,
461
00:40:36,440 --> 00:40:39,720
hey, watch where you say I'll fire you. Yeah. Okay. That's a little better. It was a pretty
462
00:40:39,720 --> 00:40:43,720
meek response that you gave at first and you exposed your weakness. Connecticut has fucked up
463
00:40:43,720 --> 00:40:48,920
my, you're hiring sharks, Mr. President. All right. Are you interviewees ready for your
464
00:40:49,480 --> 00:40:54,760
next question? Always. Yes. Liam, you will be going first. You don't have to tell me. I already
465
00:40:54,760 --> 00:41:01,320
remembered the order. Yeah. If you could instantly become an expert in any random skill, what skill
466
00:41:01,320 --> 00:41:06,920
would that be? Any random. So any random skill is wait, it's when you say random, what do you mean
467
00:41:06,920 --> 00:41:11,640
by that? And like I get to pick any skill. Yes. Okay. Well, the skill I would pick is becoming
468
00:41:11,640 --> 00:41:18,440
an expert in things. All right. Thank you, Liam. Awesome. If I'm an expert in learning, I have no
469
00:41:18,440 --> 00:41:25,800
end to my potential. That's all I have to say. I like that answer, but I'm going to give a little
470
00:41:25,800 --> 00:41:35,480
bit more precise answer and say I would take the skill of flawless deduction. Like you are never
471
00:41:35,480 --> 00:41:44,760
wrong. It's impossible. Like you are able to see not only like basically it's a pseudo way of like
472
00:41:44,760 --> 00:41:50,040
seeing the past when you weren't there. Right? Like you're able to see exactly why something
473
00:41:50,040 --> 00:41:55,880
ended up that way. And I know that's a skill that realistically doesn't exist, right? But you said
474
00:41:55,880 --> 00:41:59,560
any skill. Well, it's not that it doesn't exist. It's like a bunch of different skills altogether.
475
00:41:59,560 --> 00:42:05,560
So like you have to have the skill of like incredibly precise perception. No, mine is learning
476
00:42:05,560 --> 00:42:11,080
the skill of learning. If I learned the way to, if I can instantly learn the best way to learn
477
00:42:11,080 --> 00:42:16,680
things and retain them quickly, that's one skill. Doesn't mean that I'm going to learn things.
478
00:42:16,680 --> 00:42:19,720
Doesn't mean that I'll actually use it because it's all about motivation. Let's be real.
479
00:42:20,600 --> 00:42:24,840
But no, with deduction, you know, I mean, you watch all those detective shows, right? You get
480
00:42:24,840 --> 00:42:30,760
perception. You get obviously intuition is part of it. You have to be willing to, you know,
481
00:42:30,760 --> 00:42:35,560
read people. That's another thing of like interaction and reading emotions and people's
482
00:42:35,560 --> 00:42:41,240
actual reactions. So is there, is there a particular area of that that you feel you already excel?
483
00:42:41,240 --> 00:42:49,240
Not really. But I, I think I'll go ahead and I'll just to, to quell you a little bit. I'll add a,
484
00:42:49,880 --> 00:42:52,840
no, no, no, I'm fine with you picking that as your skill. I just, I was just curious.
485
00:42:52,840 --> 00:42:57,640
I'll add a negative to it. So the downside is that, is that every time that I do this,
486
00:42:57,640 --> 00:43:05,000
I have to have like a Sherlock Holmes or a Death Note monologue that happens in real time. So like,
487
00:43:05,000 --> 00:43:10,200
I don't, it's not like this happens all in one second and then the audience is privy to what's
488
00:43:10,200 --> 00:43:15,640
going on. No, I have to think about everything and play it back in my head over like two or three
489
00:43:15,640 --> 00:43:20,600
minute time span. And it's just me staring blankly. So someone could ask me a question and be like,
490
00:43:20,600 --> 00:43:22,760
okay, well how do you think this happened? And I'd just be like,
491
00:43:25,400 --> 00:43:31,960
just fucking, for like, yeah, for like six minutes and then I'll go, okay, I'll tell you exactly how
492
00:43:31,960 --> 00:43:37,080
this happened. Wait, wait, can, can I, can I, can I tweak it a little bit and then I'll add a negative
493
00:43:37,080 --> 00:43:45,240
to mine? Yeah. Okay. So instead of being silent when you're doing it, you have to mumble it like
494
00:43:45,240 --> 00:43:50,520
really softly. Like they're like, what is it? What do you see? And you're like, I see the bones on the
495
00:43:50,520 --> 00:43:56,920
ground and I see that they had this. But quieter. And the shoe and the shoe and the shoe is everything.
496
00:43:58,200 --> 00:44:01,560
And you have to get through the entire thing before you can say any of it at a regular volume
497
00:44:01,560 --> 00:44:05,480
or acknowledge that you even said anything. And like you're like crouched up in a fetal position.
498
00:44:07,000 --> 00:44:10,840
Then I saw it and then he pulled out a gun and then after that, and then he ran over to the,
499
00:44:10,840 --> 00:44:15,640
and then after that he went over to the, and then he jumped off the, yeah, like the whole thing,
500
00:44:15,640 --> 00:44:24,840
just like a child. What's your negative Liam? Well, yeah, then the negative that I'll add to mine is,
501
00:44:24,840 --> 00:44:29,560
okay, well, it could be one of two either when, when I complete learning a thing,
502
00:44:30,760 --> 00:44:36,840
I immediately shit my pants or, or my head gets just like a tiny bit bigger.
503
00:44:36,840 --> 00:44:41,080
Oh God. The whole head just gets a tiny bit bigger than the skill that I master.
504
00:44:41,080 --> 00:44:47,320
Is it proportionate to how much you learned or could it be something as inconsequential as like
505
00:44:47,320 --> 00:44:54,200
you learn how to fix the McDonald's McFlurry machine? And then that only expands like a little
506
00:44:54,200 --> 00:45:00,680
bit in relation to how much you learned. Now, is it a full pair? Is it like a full
507
00:45:00,680 --> 00:45:05,640
pants load of shit? It's what, it's whatever's in the contents of my stomach, which while I'm
508
00:45:05,640 --> 00:45:09,320
learning, I'll say while I'm learning, I don't shit at all. So every time it's going to be like a
509
00:45:09,320 --> 00:45:15,960
decent amount of shit. Yeah. Yeah. I'd be loading those pants up with Dookie every time I master a
510
00:45:15,960 --> 00:45:21,640
skill. Okay. Thank you. So do you hurt yourself if you like don't shit though? Cause if you like
511
00:45:21,640 --> 00:45:26,520
dry firing your intestines, like that's going to be bad for you, right? Well, that's why I got to
512
00:45:26,520 --> 00:45:30,040
eat. You know, I mean, it takes a lot of energy to master a skill. It's like anime characters,
513
00:45:30,040 --> 00:45:34,360
they got to eat after they go all out. Yeah. Well, that's why L eats all those sweets because his
514
00:45:34,360 --> 00:45:39,160
brain's moving so fast, burning all of them calories. Exactly. You'll be eating candy,
515
00:45:39,160 --> 00:45:43,880
like, and then they shot the gun and then the blood spreader shows. And then the uncle was like
516
00:45:43,880 --> 00:45:48,040
weird noises that he said in his face and he lied about where he was. And then like,
517
00:45:48,040 --> 00:45:53,320
I would love to see that from the perspective of like the crusty old lieutenant detective that
518
00:45:53,320 --> 00:45:58,120
shows up on scene and like, we brought our expert. And it's just me like in the fetal position rocking
519
00:45:58,120 --> 00:46:02,280
back and forth, like chanting to myself. And he's like, this is your fucking expert. And then like,
520
00:46:02,280 --> 00:46:06,440
they're arguing about it. And then while they're arguing is when I stand up and I'm like, all right,
521
00:46:06,440 --> 00:46:10,200
so this is exactly how it happened. And he's like, what the fuck? Like, how did you, how did you
522
00:46:10,200 --> 00:46:15,240
become this coherent? And it's like, and then that's when the anime background story, like when they,
523
00:46:15,240 --> 00:46:20,520
when they foretell all the background information afterward, like you're wearing like a, like a
524
00:46:20,520 --> 00:46:29,080
spongebob sweater and Crocs. Awesome. Yeah. What is the strangest thing you could add to your resume
525
00:46:29,080 --> 00:46:36,120
and still have it seem somewhat believable? Does it have to be true? No. Wow. That's pretty tough.
526
00:46:36,120 --> 00:46:47,960
I think I would put that I am a master at tying knots. I don't know. I got nothing for you.
527
00:46:48,680 --> 00:46:55,240
Okay. Thank you, Austin. Liam. What? Why would you put that on a resume? I don't know. So
528
00:46:55,240 --> 00:47:01,640
it's what he said. I literally, I literally went through like, like flipping through all my
529
00:47:01,640 --> 00:47:07,480
information in my head of like what I'm not good at, what I could lie about. And I had nothing. So
530
00:47:07,480 --> 00:47:12,520
I was like, all right, I can't tie any fucking knots. So I'm just gonna like, I can do a slip
531
00:47:12,520 --> 00:47:17,560
knot and a square knot and that's about it. So I just tie a lot. And so I lied about it.
532
00:47:17,560 --> 00:47:24,360
Hmm. Can you, can you give me the question again, Cody? I forgot what the criteria is.
533
00:47:25,320 --> 00:47:29,880
What's the strangest thing you could add to your resume and still have it seem somewhat believable?
534
00:47:29,880 --> 00:47:37,560
I did an internship at the Monroe Institute. What's the Monroe Institute? It's the nation's
535
00:47:37,560 --> 00:47:43,160
foremost Institute that studies research institution that studies
536
00:47:43,160 --> 00:47:49,320
consciousness and out of body experiences and such. Oh, that's kind of cool. The government has
537
00:47:49,320 --> 00:47:53,640
consulted them multiple times and sent many people to train there. And it's vague enough where you
538
00:47:53,640 --> 00:47:58,600
can, you can assume lots of things about what that means or what types of programs I may or may not
539
00:47:58,600 --> 00:48:06,520
have been involved with. Beautiful. Liam, if you had to explain your job to a caveman, what would
540
00:48:06,520 --> 00:48:11,960
you say? My current job? Yes. Explain my job to a caveman. Let me think about this for just a
541
00:48:11,960 --> 00:48:18,520
second here. What, what era caveman are we talking about? Oonga booga. Okay. I'd probably start with
542
00:48:28,520 --> 00:48:32,520
Dude, you can't come out the gates saying you're going to fuck his wife. Yeah, it's part of the
543
00:48:32,520 --> 00:48:39,560
job. You know what I mean? Look, I don't like it any more than you do, but it's part of what I do.
544
00:48:39,560 --> 00:48:44,280
You know, I can't really like just glaze over it just because he's a caveman doesn't mean he's stupid.
545
00:48:45,720 --> 00:48:49,400
Was that a good enough answer? Cody, or do you need more me to extrapolate more? That's great.
546
00:48:49,400 --> 00:48:54,600
Thank you. I appreciate it. I appreciate your, uh, your honesty about wanting to fuck his wife,
547
00:48:55,080 --> 00:49:00,280
because that is your job. Look, I've never talked about my job on the show before, but yes, that is
548
00:49:00,280 --> 00:49:07,480
part of it. It's a big part of it. Yeah. Austin. Um, well, due to the fact that I was infantry,
549
00:49:07,480 --> 00:49:14,280
they actually taught us in, um, infantry school. It's a, it's part of the, the experience you go
550
00:49:14,280 --> 00:49:21,000
to a language school in inside of infantry school and they teach you the caveman, um, dialect. And
551
00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:28,200
this helps infantrymen communicate with each other, but the best way, contrary to popular belief is
552
00:49:28,200 --> 00:49:32,440
not through grunts and noises, all right, because that's a little bit too complicated and it gives
553
00:49:32,440 --> 00:49:38,760
your position away. A lot of the times you utilize simple hand movements and, um, like
554
00:49:38,760 --> 00:49:44,040
the demonstrations, all right, that's why we play with sand tables and we make little maps and stuff.
555
00:49:44,040 --> 00:49:49,480
Um, and then we utilize, you know, hand and arm signals to dictate what we're doing and stuff like
556
00:49:49,480 --> 00:49:54,680
that. So I wouldn't actually speak to him at all. Yeah. Sprockets. The audience can't see,
557
00:49:54,680 --> 00:50:01,080
but Sprockets is actually a, a new hand and arm signal. The army is adopting to, um, tell people
558
00:50:01,080 --> 00:50:06,360
namely new privates, how to interact with strippers at the strip club. So you can, you can, uh,
559
00:50:06,360 --> 00:50:10,680
I was about to say, yes, it's how they communicate that you need to fondle breath. Yeah,
560
00:50:10,680 --> 00:50:21,720
it works. But, uh, no. So I think, um, I would just take a, um, my spear and then I would, uh,
561
00:50:21,720 --> 00:50:28,440
shape it with other objects. Um, you know, just hit it a couple of times or, or, uh, fix the wrapping
562
00:50:28,440 --> 00:50:35,560
and, and then as a sign of good faith, I would give it to him afterward. Um, and then go find
563
00:50:35,560 --> 00:50:42,440
more ones to pick up and kind of mess with and so we're, we're a lot more of a visual communication
564
00:50:42,440 --> 00:50:47,880
than, than verbal. Beautiful. I appreciate the answers from both of you on this one. I truly,
565
00:50:47,880 --> 00:50:53,720
Austin, if you had to pick one food item to bring to the team potluck, cheeseburger. Okay. Thank
566
00:50:53,720 --> 00:51:00,680
you. Liam, you say cheeseburger. Yep. That's my final answer. It's a team potluck. When you say
567
00:51:00,680 --> 00:51:07,160
team, what do you mean team? Like at the office? Yeah. Me, you, Adam, Austin. Look, I feel like
568
00:51:07,160 --> 00:51:11,320
you, you're throwing me this softball cause you know, it's going to disqualify my competitor
569
00:51:11,320 --> 00:51:17,320
here, but if I were to bring anything to the team potluck, obviously I would bring a bowl of
570
00:51:17,320 --> 00:51:25,320
spinach dip. Past history, not withstanding my spinach dip is so good that it can bring out the
571
00:51:25,320 --> 00:51:30,200
animal in any man. And let me tell you, Mr. President, you won't want to miss it. Thank you.
572
00:51:30,200 --> 00:51:35,400
Thank you. Liam, next year during your performance review, uh, you have to sing a song.
573
00:51:36,280 --> 00:51:42,920
What will that song be? Well, that depends. Uh, am I going to know prior to having to sing the song?
574
00:51:42,920 --> 00:51:47,720
No, no, no. Am I going to know prior to having to sing the song, how I did performance wise? Is it a
575
00:51:47,720 --> 00:51:53,800
situation where I'm aware? Well, you should be aware. I killed it or you should be aware of your, uh,
576
00:51:54,440 --> 00:52:00,280
standing, seeing how you are up for the position of executive producer. Okay. And after seeing it
577
00:52:00,280 --> 00:52:05,560
acapella. Yes, sir. Okay. Well, I got two answers depending on how well I do. If it was a good year,
578
00:52:05,560 --> 00:52:10,040
I'm getting up there. I'm reciting the entirety of wild, wild west by Will Smith. If it was a bad
579
00:52:10,040 --> 00:52:16,200
year, you're getting an acapella version of axle F by crazy frog. Thank you. I'm actually quite fond
580
00:52:16,200 --> 00:52:23,960
of wild, wild west. Austin. Uh, I'm doing a hit me baby one more time by Britney Spears and I don't
581
00:52:23,960 --> 00:52:30,120
need to know my, uh, my grade because I know I did fucking great. So my man, my fucking man.
582
00:52:30,120 --> 00:52:37,000
Hold on one second. Hold on one second. I'm so sorry. I lost. I know who won what once,
583
00:52:37,000 --> 00:52:44,120
I know who won what once, but I can't find, I guess you don't need to learn basic arithmetic
584
00:52:44,120 --> 00:52:49,480
to become president at this company. All right. Someone's not getting a fucking raise next year.
585
00:52:50,120 --> 00:52:56,680
Well, that means I got hired, bitch. Thanks for the answer boss. Well, I think we already,
586
00:52:56,680 --> 00:53:00,440
we both already work here. We're just, we're interviewing to move up a peg.
587
00:53:01,160 --> 00:53:04,840
This is true. Oh yeah. I mean, they normally wouldn't give you a raise within your first year
588
00:53:04,840 --> 00:53:09,320
of a big promotion like that anyway. Probably let's be real. They're starting producers at
589
00:53:09,320 --> 00:53:13,960
this company at $45,000 a year, unless you complain, in which case they'll bump it up to
590
00:53:13,960 --> 00:53:19,800
80,000. These fuckers are fickle. All right, boys, I've asked you six questions. I only asked you one
591
00:53:19,800 --> 00:53:25,960
more question. Are we being held captive or are you finding the question? The final question is a test
592
00:53:25,960 --> 00:53:31,880
about who will speak first to end the silence and you failed. Oh, I thought that I would show
593
00:53:31,880 --> 00:53:39,000
initiative by ending the silence. No, strength is in enduring it. Is that your bank statement?
594
00:53:39,000 --> 00:53:46,360
You still get it by paper. They sent it to me unwillingly. I've tried to go. You can uncheck a
595
00:53:46,360 --> 00:53:53,080
box. I've tried. I've tried. I've tried. Wait, is that actually your bank statement? John Deere sucks, dude.
596
00:53:55,400 --> 00:53:58,840
I was making a joke. I didn't realize it was actually your bank statement.
597
00:53:58,840 --> 00:54:04,360
It's your lawnmower payments. Yeah, it is. It is my lawnmower payments. Dude, John Deere's expensive.
598
00:54:05,000 --> 00:54:09,320
Yeah, it's because you get the beer cup holder. Of course it's expensive. Yeah, you get the beer
599
00:54:09,320 --> 00:54:12,840
cup holder, but they put it on the side where all the fucking grass shavings come out of.
600
00:54:13,480 --> 00:54:18,200
Oh, really? On my Craftsman, it's on the left side. Wow, must be nice. It ejects on the right.
601
00:54:18,920 --> 00:54:22,600
Oh, really? Well, so currently the Craftsman does not run, so that's not true.
602
00:54:23,480 --> 00:54:26,120
It isn't nice. Is it because you spilled your beer into the engine?
603
00:54:26,120 --> 00:54:32,280
No, I actually had too much beer because it was too convenient, and I accidentally filled the gas
604
00:54:32,280 --> 00:54:38,520
tank with beer, and so that's why it doesn't run anymore. Just drink what's in the gas tank.
605
00:54:39,960 --> 00:54:45,800
Clear it out of there. I don't remember who I asked last. Was it Austin? I believe it was.
606
00:54:46,440 --> 00:54:51,720
Austin, for the final question, if you had to give up one of your senses to gain a superhuman
607
00:54:51,720 --> 00:54:57,720
ability, what would you give up, and what would your ability be? I think even though it would be
608
00:54:57,720 --> 00:55:06,440
an extreme loss, there has been plenty of human beings who have gotten by without their sense of
609
00:55:06,440 --> 00:55:17,400
smell, so I would give that up. So we're putting it into a superhuman ability? Like just in one of
610
00:55:17,400 --> 00:55:30,840
the senses? Oh, any superpower. I think my superpower would be basically to have a bio
611
00:55:31,480 --> 00:55:37,640
version of the Crisis suit, so you know how in Crisis you can either up armor yourself or
612
00:55:38,200 --> 00:55:43,800
invisible yourself. Do you know what I'm talking about? No. So you're getting two superpowers for
613
00:55:43,800 --> 00:55:48,280
forsaking your smell. You could turn invisible and also your impervious to bullets. I mean,
614
00:55:48,280 --> 00:55:52,360
you said you would learn everything on earth, so if we're going that route. I didn't say that. I
615
00:55:52,360 --> 00:55:57,080
said that I would have the ability to learn things very quickly. I would master the ability
616
00:55:57,080 --> 00:56:03,480
of mastering abilities. Yeah, so why is it so bad for me to say I'm going to convert a mechanical
617
00:56:03,480 --> 00:56:08,360
thing into a bio thing? Because this is more of a devil's deal type situation, and the trade has to
618
00:56:08,360 --> 00:56:12,200
be equitable, so it's one for one, right? Yeah, I don't get to smell anything anymore. I don't get
619
00:56:12,200 --> 00:56:21,160
to smell succulent desserts. I don't get to smell burnt powder on the gun range. I don't get to smell
620
00:56:21,160 --> 00:56:29,400
that amazing magnesium after you've dead made charges. Just smell in this sense, Liam. Right.
621
00:56:30,360 --> 00:56:35,320
Well, but you would still lose the overwhelming majority of your taste would go with the smell.
622
00:56:35,320 --> 00:56:42,920
In this instance, it's literally just smell. But they're totally connected,
623
00:56:42,920 --> 00:56:50,200
Cody. That's not but I'm also talking about about making a bio suit of something that doesn't exist.
624
00:56:50,200 --> 00:56:57,400
So you're trying to make his drawback better while he has no, I'm just in this instance,
625
00:56:57,400 --> 00:57:02,920
smell does not affect taste at all. And you get two superpowers. I'm getting one superpower,
626
00:57:02,920 --> 00:57:07,320
one superpower. I don't object to the super I understand it. But also that means that you have
627
00:57:07,320 --> 00:57:12,920
to I would assume you would have to also power that source somehow. Because don't you have like
628
00:57:12,920 --> 00:57:19,480
power like like pickups like battery pickups for the suit in the game? I don't remember exactly
629
00:57:19,480 --> 00:57:24,600
how it works. It's been a really long time. But I would I would say my it would just be it would
630
00:57:24,600 --> 00:57:32,840
it would severely drain like just your physical. Yeah, exactly. So you just have to eat a lot or
631
00:57:32,840 --> 00:57:39,000
you would end up having to work out a whole lot more to maintain that sort of stamina to be able
632
00:57:39,000 --> 00:57:43,400
to utilize those things. And of course, you could do both at the same time if you wanted to, but it
633
00:57:43,400 --> 00:57:47,960
would double the output of whatever you were trying to do. So I would become the greatest soldier of
634
00:57:47,960 --> 00:57:56,120
all time by having that ability. Wow. If I had to give up a sense to have any power.
635
00:57:58,040 --> 00:58:02,920
The look on your face makes it seem like you're putting up an act. But upon hearing waiting to
636
00:58:02,920 --> 00:58:07,160
hear your answer, you don't know yet. No, because there's a couple of different powers I want to
637
00:58:07,160 --> 00:58:12,280
have. I know what I would give up easily. Let's start with the sense then. I would give up my
638
00:58:12,280 --> 00:58:16,120
sight. I knew you were going to say that. I knew you were going to say I would give up my sight.
639
00:58:16,120 --> 00:58:20,840
How did you know I was going to say that? Because it just seemed like the most one of the most
640
00:58:20,840 --> 00:58:26,360
detrimental senses. And I knew you I knew you'd have a unique, clever reasoning for it. So I'm
641
00:58:26,360 --> 00:58:30,760
excited to hear what I would just argue would probably be the easiest one to live without.
642
00:58:30,760 --> 00:58:35,400
I think taste smell does. It's inextricable from taste. I'm sorry, you could say it up and down
643
00:58:35,400 --> 00:58:38,920
all you want. But the fact of the matter is that most of what you taste comes from your smell.
644
00:58:39,560 --> 00:58:44,440
That's why when you had covid, you couldn't you couldn't taste anything. I couldn't get rid of
645
00:58:44,440 --> 00:58:48,920
smell. I wouldn't want to get rid of taste because I love food and the ability to taste things.
646
00:58:48,920 --> 00:58:53,640
Music and the sounds are so wonderful. I could never live without hearing things. I don't think
647
00:58:54,360 --> 00:58:59,640
I think it'd be very hard to do that. I just think sight could go because you can't say touch. Oh,
648
00:58:59,640 --> 00:59:03,000
my God. If you couldn't feel anything, you'd want to fucking die. Well, yeah, that was my thought
649
00:59:03,000 --> 00:59:09,240
process on that. Like, yeah, losing tactile sensibility is just fucking awful. I think I think
650
00:59:09,240 --> 00:59:13,080
sight's the least essential for me. I mean, I don't want to lose my sight. But if I'm getting a power,
651
00:59:13,080 --> 00:59:22,120
what I would probably want is one of two things. I'd want to be able to heal anything or anyone,
652
00:59:22,760 --> 00:59:27,320
obviously, including myself, but like, you know, other people. I think that'd be really nice.
653
00:59:27,320 --> 00:59:33,480
That would be cool. You know, just to be able to help others in that way. And and, you know,
654
00:59:33,480 --> 00:59:37,400
people got some terminal disease, there's no cure for it. Well, guess what? Now I can just walk up
655
00:59:37,400 --> 00:59:41,960
to him and go, dude, you're the guy from the green. I can have somebody exactly. Except I'm
656
00:59:41,960 --> 00:59:49,800
blind, not, you know, big and different in that way. I I would be like that. You could just walk
657
00:59:49,800 --> 00:59:53,880
me to a hospital and I could just touch every person and they'd immediately be healed or whatever
658
00:59:53,880 --> 00:59:59,400
I would have to do. Or my other option for an ability would be to be able to see him kind of
659
00:59:59,400 --> 01:00:06,680
split either teleport or manipulate time. But I think manipulating time is too tricky and complex
660
01:00:06,680 --> 01:00:11,080
of a power, you know. But actually, I'd probably say that manipulate time because then I could
661
01:00:11,080 --> 01:00:16,520
know what it's like to exist in different time periods. But yeah, I give up my sight. Let's say
662
01:00:16,520 --> 01:00:21,000
I give up my sight and gain the ability to heal anyone or anything. You know how awesome that
663
01:00:21,000 --> 01:00:24,840
would be if you were having a historical argument and then someone was like, no, they used to do
664
01:00:24,840 --> 01:00:29,640
like this back then. You were like, wait one. And then you like rewind time and you go back and like,
665
01:00:29,640 --> 01:00:33,080
hey, so can you walk me through how to do this daily task? And then they're like, yeah, sure.
666
01:00:33,080 --> 01:00:38,360
You do this and you go back and you're like, wrong. You're fucking wrong. They plunge the butter.
667
01:00:38,360 --> 01:00:45,320
I literally just did it. I just did it. 400 years ago, I just did it. Also going back,
668
01:00:45,320 --> 01:00:49,720
going back, going back with a fucking like smartphone and just taking a picture of some old
669
01:00:49,720 --> 01:00:55,720
fucking culturally British guy. I just met him. I like to think that they have no reservation
670
01:00:55,720 --> 01:00:59,800
about it either. They just accept it. They're just like churning butter and they go, and then
671
01:00:59,800 --> 01:01:05,960
you take the photo and then you go back. Yes. So you're saying get rid of sight and be able to
672
01:01:05,960 --> 01:01:11,720
move through time. Sure. Yeah. Yes. I like the healing one. The healing one's super cool.
673
01:01:11,720 --> 01:01:15,960
Yeah. I actually, I think that, I think it's healing, not moving through time. I think it's
674
01:01:15,960 --> 01:01:19,240
healing. I think healing is what I would rather do because, because moving through time, you know,
675
01:01:19,240 --> 01:01:23,080
I do feel like you lose a bit of that if you get rid of the site, you can't see, you know,
676
01:01:23,080 --> 01:01:26,440
like historic events or anything. So you kind of lose a lot of the appeal of that.
677
01:01:28,440 --> 01:01:32,760
But I think healing applies to anybody and everybody and it would be nice to do good in the
678
01:01:32,760 --> 01:01:36,760
world. And is there any stipulation to that? Sorry to be corny, but that's the truth. Is there any,
679
01:01:36,760 --> 01:01:43,880
like any stipulation? Like does it take more time to heal more severe wounds? No. And I imagine you
680
01:01:43,880 --> 01:01:48,600
can't bring people back from the dead, right? Like they would have to be. No, I can't, I can't raise
681
01:01:48,600 --> 01:01:52,280
people who are dead, but if they're on the brink of death, I could bring them back from it. That'd be
682
01:01:52,280 --> 01:01:56,520
so sick. But I don't know about like timeliness. I think it would just be saying across the board,
683
01:01:56,520 --> 01:02:00,680
like touch them and they get better. Yeah. Okay. It's literally like say something to them and they
684
01:02:00,680 --> 01:02:04,600
get better. I don't know how it works. It's literally like being a medic in an airsoft game.
685
01:02:04,600 --> 01:02:09,240
You just go around and you go tap them on the way. What if I could, what if I could heal anybody,
686
01:02:09,240 --> 01:02:14,280
but to do it, I would have to come up with a freestyle rap on the spot for them. Okay. That's
687
01:02:14,280 --> 01:02:19,640
my choice. I I'm blind, but I can heal anybody by freestyle rapping at them, whether they can hear
688
01:02:19,640 --> 01:02:24,920
me or not. Does it have to be a good rap? Like, do they have to be like, dang, that's the worst.
689
01:02:24,920 --> 01:02:29,320
It won't work if it's a good rap. So I can't do good. All right, boys, are you ready for the
690
01:02:29,320 --> 01:02:38,680
results? Yep. With four points, Liam with three points, Austin. Liam, what was the deciding one?
691
01:02:39,240 --> 01:02:45,160
That last one was a deciding one. Yeah, that was a good one. I like that. I also halfway through
692
01:02:45,160 --> 01:02:50,680
that question, I was like, Oh, you'd be really funny is if you decided to get rid of a hearing
693
01:02:50,680 --> 01:02:54,360
and then you decided to be like a superhero and you just won't be able to hear anyone screams in
694
01:02:54,360 --> 01:03:03,240
the city. It's like, wow, boring job. Help me. And you're just like, la la la la la.
695
01:03:04,280 --> 01:03:09,640
Yeah. How awesome would that be if you decided to be deaf and then your super ability was to have
696
01:03:09,640 --> 01:03:14,600
like supersonic hearing, but you couldn't hear any of it. So you're just a normal guy. Yeah.
697
01:03:14,600 --> 01:03:21,320
There's some dude. That's so funny. But yeah, no, those are the X-ray vision, but I gave up my sight
698
01:03:21,320 --> 01:03:27,800
for it. You just see things in your brain. You just can't perceive it. You just see images of
699
01:03:27,800 --> 01:03:32,840
just like bones and shit. Yeah. I'm cockeyed. My eyeballs face into my own head.
700
01:03:36,440 --> 01:03:41,080
All right, Liam, you've been promoted. Congratulations. What's your first thing
701
01:03:41,080 --> 01:03:46,440
you're going to do? The first thing I'm going to do. Yeah. Well, we own Star Wars, right? Yes.
702
01:03:46,440 --> 01:03:52,520
He's going to burn it all to the ground. You're wrong. I'm going to revitalize this dying brand.
703
01:03:52,520 --> 01:03:58,200
All right. Thank you. Liberals have taken it and destroyed it with their culture agenda.
704
01:03:58,200 --> 01:04:04,920
I'm bringing it back. All right. Number one, we get the Jar Jar trilogy. Okay. We're going to explore
705
01:04:04,920 --> 01:04:09,960
his origins. We're going to explore his adventures before he met Anakin and all of them. All right.
706
01:04:09,960 --> 01:04:14,600
We're going to finally bring the dog that George Lucas had that he wanted him to have, the Jar Jar
707
01:04:14,600 --> 01:04:19,960
to have. That's going to be part of it. Cartoon dog. It'll be funny. It'll be a nice, you know,
708
01:04:19,960 --> 01:04:26,280
like comedy relief, comic relief for Jar Jar's serious adventures in the prequel because
709
01:04:26,280 --> 01:04:30,680
obviously we're going to be approaching this with a strong nostalgia bent. This is 25 years later.
710
01:04:30,680 --> 01:04:36,840
We got to make sure that people feel nostalgia. You know, we're going to play the Star Wars theme
711
01:04:36,840 --> 01:04:42,600
slow and in a minor key so that you know it's uplifting. It's emotional. We finally see Jar
712
01:04:42,600 --> 01:04:47,800
Jar again. And then in the third one, we're going to reveal that actually Jar Jar is destined to
713
01:04:47,800 --> 01:04:54,040
become the greatest villain that the galaxy's ever known. Perfect way to round it all out. Liam, I
714
01:04:54,600 --> 01:05:02,360
thank you for your dedicated work and your motivation to improve the legacy that is Star
715
01:05:02,360 --> 01:05:07,080
Wars. You're welcome. I also think we should make a six picture deal with Kevin Spacey. I
716
01:05:07,080 --> 01:05:13,080
hear he's back now. Like from prison or like from no, he never went to prison. He was acquitted of
717
01:05:13,080 --> 01:05:17,560
all charges. Oh, he got acquitted. I didn't know that shit. I think they were dropped. I don't
718
01:05:17,560 --> 01:05:22,920
think he got acquitted, but either way he's back now. So let's bring him in. He was a big star. I'm
719
01:05:22,920 --> 01:05:27,240
sure people still will enjoy him. It's been long enough. We can have Louis C. K. write the movies.
720
01:05:28,520 --> 01:05:33,160
I hear he's back too. You can't keep a man down in this new America. Let me tell you that.
721
01:05:33,160 --> 01:05:38,120
No, he was up, up, up. If you know what I mean, he's probably breaking into the precinct evidence
722
01:05:38,120 --> 01:05:43,240
locker to get all of the fucking lube that they confiscated from fucking P Diddy. I don't think
723
01:05:43,240 --> 01:05:48,440
P Diddy is ever getting out. Unfortunately, you know, he's, he's in there for probably for life.
724
01:05:48,440 --> 01:05:51,960
Let's be real. I still haven't looked into that. I don't know what a freak off is and I don't want
725
01:05:51,960 --> 01:05:56,360
to know. Yeah. Did you guys like this competition? Did you have fun? Did you learn about a little bit
726
01:05:56,360 --> 01:06:00,360
more about yourselves? Did you learn a little bit about each other? Cause I feel like I learned a
727
01:06:00,360 --> 01:06:05,240
little bit about each other. What'd you learn about each other? Uh, I fucked that word up, but
728
01:06:05,240 --> 01:06:09,480
I learned that I can't speak. You know, you just learned that. Yeah. 29 years. What I learned is
729
01:06:09,480 --> 01:06:14,440
that this company is run by someone who can't do basic arithmetic, doesn't have very good interview
730
01:06:14,440 --> 01:06:19,000
skills and didn't come prepared to do the math to figure out who would win this. Now that I'm an
731
01:06:19,000 --> 01:06:24,520
executive producer, I know all of the higher ups. I know exactly what I got to do to get you out
732
01:06:24,520 --> 01:06:29,080
of here. No, you can't fire the president. I'm sorry, but there's an email that has already
733
01:06:29,080 --> 01:06:34,040
been sent to HR. We know what you've been doing in the bathroom. Mr. President, you just have
734
01:06:34,040 --> 01:06:39,000
four years. You just have to wait four years. Sure. Yeah. No, you don't have executive privilege.
735
01:06:39,000 --> 01:06:44,680
You, you as what I wrote from HR from down the line is that you had a sort of Chuck Berry
736
01:06:44,680 --> 01:06:49,480
situation going on cameras and toilets. Is that right? Cody? I don't know what that is.
737
01:06:49,480 --> 01:06:54,680
Like genuinely, you know who Chuck Berry is? No rock and roll King, Chuck Berry, Johnny be good.
738
01:06:54,680 --> 01:07:01,080
I know Chuck and Barry, but that's Chuck. It's your cousin, Marvin Berry. I hear you should put
739
01:07:01,080 --> 01:07:06,600
cameras in the toilets at truck stop bathrooms. Wait, you should film a sex tape where you fart.
740
01:07:07,560 --> 01:07:13,800
What? Yeah, no, I don't know that homie. I'm sorry, buddy. You should get cultured. Look,
741
01:07:13,800 --> 01:07:17,480
Mr. President, I think you need to be cultured. If you want to be president, you got to know all the
742
01:07:17,480 --> 01:07:21,720
latest trends. You got to watch the Chuck Berry sex tape. You got to be able to quote the Chuck
743
01:07:21,720 --> 01:07:27,400
Berry sex tape. I bet if I asked you what Hulk Hogan says after he fucks that guy's wife in that
744
01:07:27,400 --> 01:07:32,040
sex tape, you wouldn't even be able to tell me. You're right. I wouldn't. Really? My God, Cody,
745
01:07:32,040 --> 01:07:39,800
how about I like a fucking pig. What the fuck? What? And when is the sex tape from like 2006?
746
01:07:39,800 --> 01:07:45,800
I think like 2011 or something like that. Wait, so he wasn't even relevant then? So he's, he's
747
01:07:45,800 --> 01:07:50,360
put a pretty big thing. It's what, isn't it what said Gawker under it? Cause they released the
748
01:07:50,360 --> 01:07:56,360
fucking sex tape and then they got sued to oblivion. I don't know. I'm saying it was a big story.
749
01:07:56,360 --> 01:08:00,600
Yeah. I don't know any of the shit way back when I'm surprised you guys have never seen the video
750
01:08:00,600 --> 01:08:08,040
Nope. Of him going like a fucking pig. What the fuck? No, I, the last time I saw any of the Hogan's
751
01:08:08,040 --> 01:08:13,800
was in that fucking sitcom that they had, not sitcom, but that fucking, uh, whatever the fuck
752
01:08:13,800 --> 01:08:19,400
that TV show is called with the Hogan's as a family. And that was from like 2003. I thought
753
01:08:19,400 --> 01:08:24,360
that you saw him speak at Trump's last rally when you went. Oh, was he there? Yeah. He was one of
754
01:08:24,360 --> 01:08:29,240
the keynote speakers. I must've fallen asleep at that point. Yeah, that's all right. I get it. You
755
01:08:29,240 --> 01:08:35,240
know? Yeah. The Hulk Hogan sex tape IMDB tells me that the Hulk Hogan sex tape was from 2012.
756
01:08:35,880 --> 01:08:41,080
Camera's not picking up my phone screen, but Jesus Christ. Yeah. I can't believe IMDB has a record
757
01:08:41,080 --> 01:08:49,880
of that. Yeah. It's, it's, uh, got an 8.3 out of 10. Pretty good. All right. He's credited his self.
758
01:08:52,680 --> 01:08:58,200
All right. On that note, I think we should wrap it up. Get it. I don't get it. I'll be honest. And
759
01:08:58,200 --> 01:09:02,440
also I still don't feel like you said anything about what you learned about us. I need some real
760
01:09:02,440 --> 01:09:07,960
details here, cutting. I learned was this an exercise in futility, a futility. How do you mean?
761
01:09:07,960 --> 01:09:12,680
Is it futile to try to get to know each other? No, not at all. You know, I learned superficial
762
01:09:12,680 --> 01:09:16,840
truths about what Austin might do in outlandish situations. By the way, did you write these
763
01:09:16,840 --> 01:09:22,280
questions? No, I did not. Where'd you, where'd you find these? Various websites on the internet.
764
01:09:22,280 --> 01:09:25,640
So what'd you, what'd you Google to find the questions? Uh, funny interview questions.
765
01:09:25,640 --> 01:09:30,920
Cody. I don't know anyone's given any of my answers before that. Honestly, some of those,
766
01:09:30,920 --> 01:09:34,600
I think they're probably true. I don't think many men would be bold enough to say I'd like to be a
767
01:09:34,600 --> 01:09:41,320
white warlord in Africa. There's a whole book about me. It's called, uh, fucking heart of darkness.
768
01:09:43,480 --> 01:09:48,360
Yes. Yes. All right. But well, we have to film you when you're super fat and in a very dark room.
769
01:09:48,360 --> 01:09:52,360
We'll hide you in the shadow. Yeah. And I'm, I'm the greatest soldier of all time, but I don't
770
01:09:52,360 --> 01:09:57,800
actually exemplify any of those qualities and I don't actually move. I just, I, I have a collection
771
01:09:57,800 --> 01:10:01,880
of life magazine that I throw at Martin Sheen and tell him to read more because he's an idiot.
772
01:10:01,880 --> 01:10:09,160
Well, Cody, I didn't, I liked this exercise. I think it was fun, but next time I want you to write
773
01:10:09,160 --> 01:10:14,440
questions. Oh, of course. Like I said, I didn't have enough time. I was busy in Connecticut and
774
01:10:14,440 --> 01:10:20,600
I got, I was so mad that I just didn't have the time. I'm, I, I apologize. I've apologized before
775
01:10:20,600 --> 01:10:27,880
and again, I will apologize. I haven't, I haven't been myself. I feel like I haven't spoken about
776
01:10:27,880 --> 01:10:31,960
myself enough and I wanted to, you know, get to know you guys a little bit better by asking you
777
01:10:31,960 --> 01:10:37,160
these questions. So maybe next time we can learn a little bit more about me and I, I apologize.
778
01:10:37,160 --> 01:10:41,720
I'm sorry. I accept your apology, Cody, but I hope you know, I can't undo the email I already sent to
779
01:10:41,720 --> 01:10:46,840
HR. So next time we come around, you'll have been fired, but don't worry. I'll rehire you in a junior
780
01:10:46,840 --> 01:10:52,040
executive position and then you know how I got, you know how I got up to this position. I fucking
781
01:10:52,040 --> 01:10:57,640
sucked. That's true, but it only gets you so far. You're next. Here's the thing, Cody, my dad,
782
01:10:57,640 --> 01:11:05,960
my dad, Stanley Bezos, Jeff's cousin, and he's twice as fucking rich. Yeah. I work here for fun.
783
01:11:05,960 --> 01:11:11,480
I could have Masad plant cameras in all the toilets in this place. You would never be able
784
01:11:11,480 --> 01:11:15,320
to get around that. Dude, and then they would explode. They would, and then you'd be liable
785
01:11:15,320 --> 01:11:19,400
because you're the one that planted them. All right. Well, I got some exciting ideas for next
786
01:11:19,400 --> 01:11:25,240
time, Cody, but uh, this was, this was fun. I'm glad I'm excited to start my new position and uh,
787
01:11:25,240 --> 01:11:31,000
we're going to have some good, good movies. Yeah. I, I told you last week when we were talking about
788
01:11:31,000 --> 01:11:39,640
this, I have a lot of ideas too. And I'm, this was a solid backup of ideas. So, you know, I got,
789
01:11:39,640 --> 01:11:44,200
I got many more things in store for, uh, the podcast and I hope you guys will join me for
790
01:11:44,200 --> 01:11:48,520
the next couple of people. We will. And if anyone has any comments or thoughts about how this
791
01:11:48,520 --> 01:11:52,440
interview went or Cody's questions, or if you'd like to write in with some interview questions
792
01:11:52,440 --> 01:11:57,240
for Cody, cause God knows he likes to get them from other people. Uh, you can email those questions
793
01:11:57,240 --> 01:12:03,880
to Cody's real email at gmail.com. Uh, and also I would like to just mention this quickly at the end.
794
01:12:03,880 --> 01:12:09,080
Uh, if you are in Australia and listening to this, please do send us an email cause I just,
795
01:12:09,080 --> 01:12:14,120
I gotta know whatever we can do to get more people there listening, we'll do it. You just,
796
01:12:14,120 --> 01:12:19,160
you just say the word, let us know what Australian people like and we will tailor our content to your
797
01:12:19,160 --> 01:12:26,360
desires. Yes, exactly. I will go out of my way to make your day far superior. I will never change.
798
01:12:27,880 --> 01:12:31,800
All right, boy scout. All right. Bye. Bye boys.
799
01:12:34,280 --> 01:12:42,680
You've been listening to learners permit. Thanks for listening. We hope you learned something today
800
01:12:42,680 --> 01:12:47,800
until next time. Goodbye.