WEBVTT
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Hi guys, welcome back to the chemically imbalanced black girl podcast.
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This podcast is a collection of video and audio existential crisis thoughts from a chemically imbalanced black girl who is me.
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And my name is Zarya.
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Guys, oh welcome to my new apartment.
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Y'all gotta give me a couple episodes to figure out like the audio, how how good it sounds, um, the camera angle, because my TV's right there.
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I didn't want the window to be open so y'all can see, like, oh, that bitch lived next to a chick-fil-a, all right, bad.
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I'm gonna go beat her ass.
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You know what I'm saying?
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Not that y'all can beat me.
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But you know, just to avoid future confrontation.
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No, I was just joking, but um, yeah, so this is where the podcast is gonna be filmed from now on when I do my video episodes.
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Um, the only thing that I'm not too comfortable about is like I obviously have my a little bit of my collection of octopus, but like I've missed my anime stuff, and some of it is like right here on my TV, my windowsill, most of it's in my room.
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So I feel like I'm gonna miss that because I feel like that's what catches people, you know, like my type of people when they see my anime shit.
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They're gonna be like, oh, this bitch doing a podcast out of a coffee challet, what the fuck?
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So but yeah, but guys, let's jump right into the episode.
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Um, and I I speaking of jumping right into the episode, I have to clear something up about the last episode because I know sometimes I say shit and it sounds real harsh.
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And this one person DM'd me, and they were like, be careful to try to sound like be careful on not trying to sound pretentious and like an asshole on on accident, because I guess I said, like, why am I alleged at least going off of what I said?
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I did say, Hey Clover, you wanna stop?
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But in the last, the one I just put out recently, I said that like I don't like talking to people too much because like if it's if it's nothing of substance, then I don't really care, which is true, but also kind of not because like obviously this podcast isn't of substance.
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I be talking about bullshit all the time, but it's just like there is a genre or like a level of like insignificant, funny bullshit that I can talk about, you know what I'm saying?
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But it's like ignorant, uneducated, hurtful, offensive shit.
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That's this that that's what I meant.
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You know what I'm saying?
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So I didn't want you, I didn't want you guys to be like, oh, if I'm not talking about anything Harvard level, then I can't even talk to Zarya.
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Zarya likes talking about bullshit.
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Zarya doesn't like stupidity.
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That's literally it.
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I hate stupid shit.
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I'll say it all day long.
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Um, so I'm so glad I could cleared that up because I was like, I don't want y'all to think a bitch came back like high seddy.
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Like, you can't talk to me about bullshit because I love bullshit.
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So let's just jump right into this shit.
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Um, I have a fuck ton that I want to talk to you guys about.
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The first topic I want to talk to you guys about is just this is just we're gonna we're gonna gap.
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And I feel like I have a fear, like my number one fear that I have, a lot of people have, and I just want to talk about it.
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So my fear of driving has like quadrupled since I've been living in Florida, and I've been scared to drive since I got my license.
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I taught myself how to drive, I bought my own first car, like, and I've never driven on the highway since I purchased my car.
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Like, if it's 17 minutes on the highway and it's 45 minutes on the back roads, I'll see everybody in 45 minutes.
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Like, I'm I'm not taking the highway, and it's always scared me, like, always.
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And I've known some friends that have gotten into car accidents.
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Like, I knew this girl in high school who was like on the cheer team, super cute, super preppy, you know, super, you know, in the middle of her fucking life, and got into a car accident, and it literally, I mean, brain damage so bad, it just changed this girl's whole life.
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I mean, everything, and it and it scared me so bad, and I and I felt so bad.
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Um and so it it's gotten worse.
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So a few months ago, well, I guess the last couple of months of 2025, because it was in like maybe November and then December.
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So the first one I was on my way to work.
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I'm about to tell you guys a story of two car crashes I was in and witnessed.
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Sometimes I just start talking and I don't you know I don't give a good explanation of what the fuck I'm about to start talking about.
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I just start talking.
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So we'll work on that.
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But it was like in November, do you want to come up here?
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My child's like, come on then.
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Whatever.
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So I'm driving, I'm going to work, and I hear now my music is blasted when I drive music all the way up.
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I'm playing dance, gavin, dance.
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I'm playing like it's it's getting it's getting it's getting heavy in there, right?
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So my music is turned up.
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I'm jamming the fuck out, right?
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Because I'm finna go fuck with dogs and cats all night.
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So I'm trying to jam out.
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I see police lights behind me, and they're like, it's like four police cars like flying down the fucking street.
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So I I'm on the right side, which is the inner side of the street, and I jump the curb because they not giving people no time to get out the way, you know what I'm saying?
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Like, they literally flying down the fucking street.
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So I jump the curb, right?
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I get off the curb because I'm thinking all of them that came by.
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I jump off the curb.
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I'm going straight.
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I look in the rearview mirror just to make sure I'm good to keep driving.
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I see a black SUV in the fucking air, flipping.
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I was like, huh?
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Everybody knows I've got good good eyesight.
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I don't even know why I'm not wearing my glasses right now.
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They're sitting right there.
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Forgot to put them on.
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Guess I'ma just not see this video.
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Cool.
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I'm gonna wear them while I'm editing though.
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Um, so I see a black SUV, not car, not bike, SUV, like a big ass truck flipping in the air in my rearview mirror.
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I'm like, oh my gosh, without a fucking thought.
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I don't even know if I put my car in park.
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I threw the keys, don't know where the keys went.
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I get out of the car and I start booking it to this fucking SUV.
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The SUV has landed on its fucking top part, so it's wheels up at this point.
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I'm like, no way.
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I get out of the car, I'm fucking booking it.
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The closer I'm getting to the car, I can hear kids screaming.
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I was like, Oh, I'm finna traumatize, I'm finna be traumatized.
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I'm finna be traumatized, but it just made me run faster because I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
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I was like, not the kids.
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I was like, oh my god, my heart is racing, right?
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So I have to like get on my belly to see inside the car.
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Mind you, I don't know if the car is about to blow up.
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I don't know what's going on.
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It's groceries all over the place because they just got it's it's obvious that these people just came back from grocery shopping, right?
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Ugh made me it make me sad every time I think about it.
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But so I look in the car, it's uh older lady, I'm assuming the grandma in the driver's seat, a pregnant lady, a heavily pregnant woman, in the passenger seat, and there is like maybe a four or three-year-old in a car seat in the back seat, and there's her brother who's like six or seven across from her, also in the backseat.
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And the grandma is just screaming, like, Oh my god, I'm in pain, I'm in pain.
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I was like, Can you take your seatbelt off?
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Like, I'm panicking and shit, right?
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And I'm trying to reach in the back to get the baby out of the car seat, and the brother's helping me because he was he was the most fine out of all of them.
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How I don't know.
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So he's helping me get his sister out of the back seat, and I'm like, you guys just I was like, put your sister out, and you crawl through the window.
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I I'm I can't, I need like help getting your grandma out.
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So as I'm telling this little boy I need help getting his grandma out, I'm I like I like stop for a second and I'm like yeah, I do need help.
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So I duck out the fucking I don't even know how I'm in the truck.
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I'm on my stomach, so I like slide out and stand up.
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I turn around, y'all.
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It is like I don't want to exaggerate.
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It's like seven, eight people recording me, not doing a fuck thing, right?
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Niggas, men, grown women, all just taking pictures and shit like that.
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I start spazzing.
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If there's a video of me on TikTok, I wouldn't be surprised.
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I start cussing everybody out.
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What the fuck are y'all doing?
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If y'all don't get the fuck over here, help me.
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I can't get all this fucking.
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I start spazzing, like literally spazzing.
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Because why the fuck is my I mean, I you know, I ain't no I ain't no little bitch, but you know, I bitch.
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I need some help.
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Like it's four people in this car.
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I can't get these niggas out by myself.
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Now, granted, I was on my way to work, so I wasn't scrubs.
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Bitch, I don't work with people, I work with animals.
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Like, y'all need to help me.
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I don't know what the fuck is going on.
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I start spazzing, right?
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The grandma is just screaming, screaming, screaming.
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Oh my god, I don't know.
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Like, I and I'm I'm trying not to cry.
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I'm trying to talk to her, like, ma'am, I need you to like lift your leg up so I can pull you out.
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Her leg's all bent back and shit like that.
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I'm like, oh my god, the pregnant lady not saying shit.
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I was like, if this lady passed away, one, I'm for sure not going to work.
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That's that's just a giving.
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I might not go now.
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Two.
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You know what I'm saying?
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Like, I just I don't know what I'm gonna do.
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I don't know how I'm gonna feel.
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I don't know what's gonna happen, right?
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So the ambulance finally came.
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Mind you, mind you, mind you, the fourth police car is the car that hit him.
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I don't even know why I flew past that point.
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The fourth police car clipped their car, made their car car flip in the air, landed upside down.
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Guess where that police officer went?
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Still in pursuit, didn't stop, didn't give a fuck, didn't give you like didn't give a buck, just kept on driving.
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He could have killed everybody in his fucking car, didn't stop.
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Cool, cool.
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So on the way to an emergency, you just gonna kill everybody.
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Nice, love that, love that about y'all.
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It's my favorite thing, actually.
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I'm still mad about it, obviously.
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So the fire department comes, the paramedics come, I mean the other police officers come, and I can't get the pregnant lady out.
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I'm even scared to touch her, like she's like at least at least seven months pregnant.
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This belly is done, you know.
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I'm scared to touch her.
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So the paramedics come, they some of them obviously start helping her get out the car.
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Police overcome up to me, ask me what's going on.
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I don't even think I let him ask fully what's going on.
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I start cussing this man out.
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This poor man.
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I mean, not poor him, fuck him.
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You know what I'm saying?
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I I really don't care, you know.
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And I was like, I'm telling him exactly what I told y'all.
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Like, y'all fucking flying down the street, they fucking click their car, they car rolling in the fucking air.
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Y'all killing everybody.
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How the fuck y'all supposed to be protecting people?
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Y'all the main ones out here fucking killing people.
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I mean, I'm I'm going off, okay?
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I'm losing my shit, okay?
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Cause y'all just traumatized me.
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I was trying to go to work, be a little vet tech.
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You know what I'm saying?
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That's all I'm trying to do.
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I'm trying to make a little coin peacefully.
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That's it.
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Y'all out here running around like it's GTA and shit like that.
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Like, didn't even stop, didn't give a fuck.
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That's the thing I don't like.
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And I so I made a statement and shit like that.
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Whatever.
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I really wish I would have got their names, but I was just so I was shaking, boy.
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Some nigga in the crowd, because now everybody done pulled over and shit after the fact.
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Some like some niggas like, who keys these, right?
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Mind you, he could have stole my car and shit like that.
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Cause I don't even think my car was off.
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I just I just pulled the bitch over.
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I was like, oh, those are my keys.
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I get my keys, I get back in the car, and when I tell y'all I start sobbing, I start sobbing on the way to work.
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I was like, wow, I don't think I can go to work, but you know, I need a paycheck, rent due every month.
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So I was like, I'm gonna go.
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I'ma just go in the bathroom for a few minutes and uh fix myself up.
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And the number one thing I hated about that was that nobody else gave a fuck about those people.
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And I'm gonna tell you something about me, you guys.
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As much as I like hate, I'm not like a people person, and as much as I seem like I don't like people, because I don't I would if if somebody was ever like in danger around me, there is no way in hell I would not do something about it, you know what I'm saying?
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Like, and I don't know if that's from a mixture of me being a flight attendant and me being like literally taught and trained to like you have to save people, like what the fuck?
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Why would you not?
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You know what I'm saying?
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Like you you the saver, bitch.
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And the combination of well, I don't I've been wanting to die since I was like seven, bitch.
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Like, I don't really give a fuck.
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If it's if it if I can give my life to save somebody else's life when they need it, without a fucking doubt, without a fucking thought, you know what I'm saying?
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So to witness all these people, see these people and these babies need physical help and decide to not do shit and just stand and like chat amongst themselves or like record it, that shit don't make sense in my brain.
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That shit don't make sense in my brain.
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Because even if the car blew up, I'd have still been in there grabbing them fucking people.
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We all finna die then.
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You know what I'm saying?
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Bitch, I've been ready to go.
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I don't give a fuck.
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If you can live and I can die, cool, cool trait.
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You know what I'm saying?
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You didn't fucking deserve that.
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So I don't know.
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That really just disgusted me with all the people.
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I was I was yelling at everybody.
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My throat was even hurting the rest of that night.
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I and I work overnight, so I was it was it was just bad.
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And it traumatized me because I was just like, I don't, I don't, I don't want to be the person who jumps in to save people because I hate seeing hurt people, I hate seeing shit like that.
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Like if they were more hurt than they were, like that would have just fucked me up for the rest of my life.
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But like I can't not do it because if I was ever in need of physical help and I watch people just not help me, you know what I'm saying?
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I would be like, then yeah, I should probably just die because don't nobody give a fuck, you know?
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And I refuse to be one of those people that don't give a fuck.
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I don't even need to know you, I don't need to know anything, but if you need help, I'm gonna help.
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Like, I don't even understand how you cannot, like, that's crazy to me.
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Number two is um I was going to Tampa or Tallahassee, one of the Florida states that start with a T, I don't remember.
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Talula?
00:15:09.679 --> 00:15:11.120
I don't fucking know where we were going.
00:15:11.919 --> 00:15:23.279
Long story short, we were going I was going with my dad, my biological dad, not my adopted dad, two different men, and his wife to meet some of my dad's friends.
00:15:23.360 --> 00:15:26.960
Cause I don't know if I told y'all, but me and my biological dad met recently.
00:15:27.120 --> 00:15:30.639
Now he's trying to, I mean, not recently, we met a long time ago, but you know what I'm saying.
00:15:30.720 --> 00:15:33.120
Now we're trying to like actually have a relationship.
00:15:33.200 --> 00:15:34.960
Well, you know, anyway.
00:15:36.080 --> 00:15:42.080
And so he invites me all the time to like go to meet his friends or the rest of his side of the family and shit like that.
00:15:42.159 --> 00:15:43.120
So I'm like, all right, bet.
00:15:43.519 --> 00:15:49.600
Now, wherever we were going was like three hours from where I live, right?
00:15:50.000 --> 00:15:52.240
I just told y'all I don't like driving on the highway.
00:15:52.399 --> 00:15:54.320
I was like, there's no motherfucking way I'm gonna drive.
00:15:54.399 --> 00:15:56.080
Because he was like, Yeah, you could just follow behind us.
00:15:56.159 --> 00:15:57.440
No, I'm not gonna do that.
00:15:57.679 --> 00:16:00.799
Either you finna, I'm finna drive with y'all or I'm not going.
00:16:00.879 --> 00:16:02.320
And mind you, I'm fine with not going.
00:16:02.399 --> 00:16:03.200
You invited me.
00:16:03.279 --> 00:16:07.519
It's not like you know what I'm saying, I'm gonna be offended if y'all don't want me to drive with you.
00:16:07.840 --> 00:16:10.480
Um, but I'm for sure not driving.
00:16:10.720 --> 00:16:22.720
And I can't remember why he didn't want me to go with them, but he was expressing how much he really wanted me to go, and it made me cry because I was just like, yo, y'all not taking the fact that I'm scared seriously enough for me.
00:16:22.799 --> 00:16:23.440
You know what I'm saying?
00:16:23.519 --> 00:16:28.799
Like, I'm scared, like it's not, I'm not joking, I'm not trying to be dramatic, I'm not trying to be difficult.
00:16:28.960 --> 00:16:30.559
This is a genuine fear of mine.
00:16:30.639 --> 00:16:36.639
I'm scared, and I feel like something bad is gonna happen if I go, if I drive, so I don't want to go, and I'm okay with that.
00:16:36.720 --> 00:16:37.440
You know what I'm saying?
00:16:37.519 --> 00:16:41.600
Like, I I don't have these feelings for nothing, like I am scared.
00:16:42.000 --> 00:16:44.879
So my dads end up, all right.
00:16:44.960 --> 00:16:45.600
You could drive with us.
00:16:45.679 --> 00:16:46.720
So I'm like, all right, cool.
00:16:46.879 --> 00:16:47.919
Got my little snacks.
00:16:48.000 --> 00:16:50.799
I'm a I'm a great road trip passenger, you know what I'm saying?
00:16:50.879 --> 00:16:52.159
I'll shut the fuck up the whole time.
00:16:52.240 --> 00:16:53.279
It's not like I want to be there.
00:16:53.360 --> 00:16:56.480
Either I'm listening to music or a podcast, or I'm laying down sleep, right?
00:16:56.639 --> 00:16:58.720
God forbid I won't lay down sleep when this happens.
00:16:58.879 --> 00:17:07.119
So we like maybe an hour and a half into the drive, and on the highway, a lot of traffic.
00:17:08.240 --> 00:17:14.400
I guess excuse me, Prisecco fucking me up.
00:17:15.359 --> 00:17:21.359
I guess one of the cars in front of us ran into a tow truck and it just caused like an endless pile up, right?
00:17:22.400 --> 00:17:29.519
So my mom's my mom's, my dad's wife is driving and she can see the pileup, right?
00:17:29.599 --> 00:17:32.799
So she swerves off the highway and into the grass, right?
00:17:33.039 --> 00:17:34.720
Now we think we're safe.
00:17:34.960 --> 00:17:38.000
Mind you, the person behind her didn't do that, right?
00:17:38.079 --> 00:17:38.880
They ain't see shit.
00:17:38.960 --> 00:17:43.359
So now they are part of this pile-up, and everybody else behind them, it's a 50-car pile-up.
00:17:43.519 --> 00:17:46.640
You can look it up online, but don't, because you might see a video of me.
00:17:46.799 --> 00:17:47.440
So please don't.
00:17:47.599 --> 00:17:49.279
Because niggas was recording.
00:17:49.519 --> 00:17:55.519
Um, pull off into the grass, everybody in front of us and everybody behind us is just colliding.
00:17:55.599 --> 00:17:56.960
Doom doom doom doom doom.
00:17:57.039 --> 00:17:58.000
We can hear it, right?
00:17:58.559 --> 00:18:03.200
So maybe two cars behind us is an 18-wheeler, right?
00:18:03.839 --> 00:18:07.920
The car behind that 18-wheeler was about to slam into the 18-wheeler.
00:18:08.000 --> 00:18:10.160
She also ran off the highway into the grass.
00:18:10.240 --> 00:18:14.400
And guess who the fuck she ran into the back of us, right?
00:18:14.559 --> 00:18:17.519
So we in the grass for like 30 seconds, we think we cool.
00:18:17.680 --> 00:18:19.359
Boom! Hit the fuck out of us.
00:18:19.440 --> 00:18:24.079
I was like, oh shit, and I need to have time to tense up because we ain't see the bitch coming, you know what I'm saying?
00:18:24.240 --> 00:18:27.039
I mean, hit the fuck out of us, scooted us a good couple yards up.
00:18:27.119 --> 00:18:28.079
I was like, damn.
00:18:28.559 --> 00:18:44.880
So my back was hurting, and that didn't traumatize me as much as the first one did, but it wasn't fun, especially because I knew something bad was gonna happen.
00:18:45.039 --> 00:18:51.359
I literally said to them niggas, if I drive, I feel like I'ma die, and I'm not being dramatic.
00:18:51.440 --> 00:18:52.400
That's literally what I said.
00:18:52.480 --> 00:18:54.559
I was like, I feel like something bad is gonna happen.
00:18:54.640 --> 00:18:56.079
I have this bad feeling in my spirit.
00:18:56.160 --> 00:18:57.839
I do not want to go if I have to drive.
00:18:58.079 --> 00:19:00.960
Now imagine if I was behind them niggas driving.
00:19:03.359 --> 00:19:04.799
Guess what would have happened to Zarya?
00:19:04.960 --> 00:19:06.400
Would have been fucked up, you know what I'm saying?
00:19:06.559 --> 00:19:09.200
What if I was changing a song at the time, you know what I'm saying?
00:19:09.279 --> 00:19:17.759
Not that I'd be looking at my phone when I drive, but I'm just saying, you know, like what if I wasn't as quick as my my dad's wife and I didn't get the chance to run into the fucking, you know, because some of them people were hurt.
00:19:17.839 --> 00:19:18.799
It was a 50-car pile-up.
00:19:18.960 --> 00:19:20.799
Some of them people were fucked up, you know what I'm saying?
00:19:20.880 --> 00:19:21.920
18 wheelers involved.
00:19:22.000 --> 00:19:24.319
Of course, people were fucked up, you know what I'm saying?
00:19:24.400 --> 00:19:25.519
And what do my dumb ass do?
00:19:25.680 --> 00:19:28.960
Get out, I go, mind you, 50 cars, probably more.
00:19:29.119 --> 00:19:31.519
My dumb ass run all the way to the front of the line.
00:19:31.680 --> 00:19:32.240
Y'all okay?
00:19:32.400 --> 00:19:33.119
Everybody alright?
00:19:33.200 --> 00:19:33.759
I'm trying to see.
00:19:33.839 --> 00:19:35.359
I'm just trying to make sure if there's anything I could do.
00:19:35.440 --> 00:19:37.359
I could do CPR, like a motherfucker, actually.
00:19:37.519 --> 00:19:39.599
I could save, I could, or at least attempt.
00:19:39.759 --> 00:19:40.559
You know what I'm saying?
00:19:40.640 --> 00:19:46.319
So and then the lady who ran into us, I couldn't even, we couldn't even be mad at her because we was like, Yep, well, that's a good point.
00:19:46.400 --> 00:19:48.079
Because she got out of the car, she was like, I'm so sorry.
00:19:48.160 --> 00:19:49.680
I'll give y'all my information in a few minutes.
00:19:49.759 --> 00:19:53.759
She was like, I if there was an 18-wheeler in front of me, she was like, I was gonna hit anybody.
00:19:54.000 --> 00:19:57.359
I had my kids in my car, I was not finna hit the back of an 18-wheeler.
00:19:57.440 --> 00:19:59.119
So I that definitely hit y'all on purpose.
00:19:59.200 --> 00:20:01.440
Like, it was either y'all or everybody in this car died.
00:20:01.519 --> 00:20:05.200
I was like, My dad was like, Bitch, we get it.
00:20:05.279 --> 00:20:09.359
Like, like we ain't mad at you, but you know, you could have hit the brakes a little harder, but it's alright.
00:20:09.519 --> 00:20:10.720
Neck kinda hurt, but it's cool.
00:20:10.799 --> 00:20:11.920
Your kid's cool.
00:20:12.960 --> 00:20:16.000
Alright, let's get that fucking insurance information.
00:20:16.160 --> 00:20:17.200
Because you gonna run.
00:20:24.480 --> 00:20:28.079
And uh yeah, I didn't like that at all.
00:20:28.160 --> 00:20:30.319
I was like, see, this is why I don't be driving up here.
00:20:31.279 --> 00:20:33.920
The first one wasn't even on the highway, though, it was on the main road.
00:20:34.079 --> 00:20:41.279
I think that's why it traumatized me so much, because I'm I think I try to justify my fear of driving based off of the highway.
00:20:42.079 --> 00:20:43.359
That shit can happen anywhere.
00:20:43.519 --> 00:20:46.880
That shit can happen in a driveway, parked, in a parking lot.
00:20:47.119 --> 00:20:50.079
It can happen anywhere, it don't have to be on the highway.
00:20:50.240 --> 00:20:58.480
The thing about the highway that gets me though is that you're going so motherfucking fast that even if you make a mistake or somebody make a mistake, you going too fast to correct yourself.
00:20:58.640 --> 00:21:02.480
Whatever you hit, it's most likely gonna be fatal, and that's the shit that I don't like.
00:21:02.640 --> 00:21:08.160
Especially because niggas in Florida feel like they could be fast and furious on a fucking highway.
00:21:08.240 --> 00:21:10.960
If the speed limit is 75, why the fuck are you going 102?
00:21:11.359 --> 00:21:12.079
I don't like that.
00:21:12.240 --> 00:21:12.799
I don't like that.
00:21:12.960 --> 00:21:16.720
I will literally stop fucking with somebody based off of the speed they drive me in their car.
00:21:16.880 --> 00:21:20.480
Like, since you don't care about my life, listen, nigga, I just started caring about my life.
00:21:20.559 --> 00:21:22.319
There's no way I'm gonna let you take it from me just like this.
00:21:22.400 --> 00:21:22.799
I can't.
00:21:22.880 --> 00:21:23.359
I can't.
00:21:23.440 --> 00:21:24.160
I'm so sorry.
00:21:24.240 --> 00:21:26.079
We have to part ways forever.
00:21:27.759 --> 00:21:30.319
But I can't, I can't, I'm so sorry.
00:21:30.559 --> 00:21:34.880
Um, also, I really hope this audio isn't fucked up.
00:21:35.200 --> 00:21:36.160
I really hope it's not.
00:21:36.240 --> 00:21:37.440
I really hope you guys can hear me well.
00:21:37.599 --> 00:21:39.039
I hope you guys can see me well.
00:21:39.200 --> 00:21:43.200
I have to put like the settings on the camera to make it focus.
00:21:43.440 --> 00:21:51.119
So if y'all can't see my face that well in the video when I upload it on YouTube, just just rock with your girl for a couple couple episodes until I get it right.
00:21:51.200 --> 00:21:55.119
Because I don't have Elijah no more, even though I was just hanging out with him a couple days ago.
00:21:55.200 --> 00:21:57.279
But he's not my editor no more, so it's just me, bitch.
00:21:57.519 --> 00:21:59.519
Like, he says, You're not paying me enough.
00:21:59.599 --> 00:22:01.920
I said, Okay, you're right.
00:22:02.319 --> 00:22:03.039
I got it.
00:22:03.279 --> 00:22:05.680
He taught me a little bit, and I say, okay, I'm gonna do it.
00:22:06.960 --> 00:22:10.799
Hence why there's no been no episode, and you know, I've been saying four months.
00:22:10.880 --> 00:22:11.759
Has it been six?
00:22:24.799 --> 00:22:25.519
Damn.
00:22:26.880 --> 00:22:38.000
Anyway, I also want to talk to you guys about something that I've been feeling like an asshole about, and I just wanna get you guys' opinion on it.
00:22:38.319 --> 00:22:48.079
So I've had a little friend group for the couple a past couple months now, and this friend group is like slowly dissipating.
00:22:48.160 --> 00:22:51.039
Because I'm pretty sure one of the girls in this friend group is a psychopath, right?
00:22:51.119 --> 00:22:58.480
And she kind of even not even in the friend group anymore, based off of her own choices and decisions.
00:22:58.720 --> 00:23:02.400
Um, and I'll tell you guys more about that later.
00:23:02.559 --> 00:23:22.559
I want to jump right into how I would I didn't know if I was an asshole or not, because a lot of stuff pissed me off, and I know that half of the stuff that pissed me off is like really specific to me and my triggers, you know what I'm saying?
00:23:22.880 --> 00:23:28.079
And based off of a lot of stuff that I had to overcome on my own.
00:23:29.279 --> 00:23:40.559
So things that people do piss me off when I can't see that in them, and I know that's fucked up and shallow and disrespectful and selfish, but I I'm only human.
00:23:41.519 --> 00:23:48.799
So, you guys know I work at a uh vet uh vet hospital, and there's a whole bunch of type of people that come in there.
00:23:48.960 --> 00:23:53.359
So basically, there's these two girls that are my friends, right?
00:23:53.519 --> 00:24:00.079
One not so much, but one of them definitely is, and I'm not being catty or shady or messy, I promise.
00:24:00.160 --> 00:24:05.839
Like, I'm gonna give y'all the peas and carrots, just not in this episode, because I want it to be short, and I got shit to do.
00:24:06.000 --> 00:24:11.359
Um, so one of the girls in in this scenario, real tight, love her down.
00:24:12.400 --> 00:24:17.440
The second girl used to, but she didn't like ostracize herself, can't stress it enough.
00:24:17.680 --> 00:24:25.119
So we had like a crackhead come in, two crackheads, and they their dog had got shot in the jaw.
00:24:26.400 --> 00:24:31.599
Now, it was a domestic violence case because the man who shot the dog was trying to shoot his wife.
00:24:31.759 --> 00:24:38.000
Um, dog jumped in defense, dog got shot in the chin, in the jaw, bullet lodged in it, right?
00:24:38.160 --> 00:24:39.680
She was like, Alright, we can take the bullet out.
00:24:39.759 --> 00:24:43.039
Mind you, dog come in, dog don't know you don't even know it got shot.
00:24:43.119 --> 00:24:44.960
This is the happiest fucking dog I've ever seen in my life.
00:24:45.039 --> 00:24:47.839
I mean, tail wagging, trying to kiss everybody with blood in his mouth.
00:24:47.920 --> 00:24:50.160
We like, please, no, baby, please, please, love you down.
00:24:50.240 --> 00:24:51.039
Very cute pity.
00:24:51.279 --> 00:24:51.759
Cannot.
00:24:51.920 --> 00:24:54.079
Okay, very loyal, very happy dog.
00:24:54.559 --> 00:24:56.240
No pain, no nothing.
00:24:56.559 --> 00:24:58.079
Best dog to work on.
00:24:58.400 --> 00:25:00.880
So the receptionist is out there.
00:25:01.039 --> 00:25:03.519
The receptionist is my homegirl in this scenario.
00:25:03.839 --> 00:25:04.319
Scenario.
00:25:04.400 --> 00:25:05.680
Like this shit didn't really happen.
00:25:05.839 --> 00:25:10.400
But the receptionist that's handling the crackheads is my homegirl, the one that I'm still tight with.
00:25:11.680 --> 00:25:13.200
Now I'm not gonna lie.
00:25:13.440 --> 00:25:18.720
We're gonna call her uh we're gonna call her tree.
00:25:19.599 --> 00:25:21.359
No, that's disrespectful to what I'm about to say.
00:25:21.440 --> 00:25:22.480
Actually, we're not gonna call her tree.
00:25:22.559 --> 00:25:23.920
We gonna call her, we're gonna call her D.
00:25:24.160 --> 00:25:25.519
That's even better.
00:25:26.000 --> 00:25:33.920
D is a very attractive, bigger, like six-foot woman, okay?
00:25:34.079 --> 00:25:39.759
Big girl, not ugly in the slightest, very, very attractive, okay?
00:25:40.000 --> 00:25:41.200
Very attractive.
00:25:41.519 --> 00:25:43.279
She knows this, everybody knows it.
00:25:43.440 --> 00:25:47.200
She gets called attractive on a regular basis, okay?
00:25:47.440 --> 00:25:50.240
Very, very, very, very nice looking woman, okay.
00:25:50.480 --> 00:25:57.200
Now, the other girl who used to be in the friend group, who is now not, also very attractive, right?
00:25:57.359 --> 00:25:58.559
Nice body banging.
00:25:58.640 --> 00:26:00.880
That's one of the first things anybody ever told her.
00:26:01.119 --> 00:26:04.240
Nice, small waist, big ass, badass.
00:26:04.319 --> 00:26:05.039
You know what I'm saying?
00:26:05.119 --> 00:26:05.599
Just nice.
00:26:05.839 --> 00:26:07.599
Hazel eyes, beautiful girl, right?
00:26:07.759 --> 00:26:11.680
These two are probably the most beautiful bitches I've ever seen in my life, or a couple of them, one of them.
00:26:12.400 --> 00:26:19.440
So the crackhead, being a crackhead, is just up at the front, rambling, just saying shit.
00:26:19.759 --> 00:26:26.559
And um, she tells D, Oh, you're you're you're as big as Hulk Hogan.
00:26:26.799 --> 00:26:29.200
I ain't never seen a woman a woman as big as you.
00:26:29.440 --> 00:26:30.640
God damn you big.
00:26:30.880 --> 00:26:33.359
Let me take a picture with you so I can show my husband when I get home.
00:26:33.440 --> 00:26:34.319
Just digging at her, right?
00:26:34.400 --> 00:26:35.839
Calling her big, calling her shit, right?
00:26:35.920 --> 00:26:39.920
But she a crackhead and she ain't got no teeth and her life bad, and her dog got a bullet in his jaw, right?
00:26:40.160 --> 00:26:47.119
So then Home Girl, other girl comes out, the one that you know I'm not as close with no more, and she's like, Jesus Christ, your hips are wide.
00:26:47.200 --> 00:26:48.000
What y'all eating in here?
00:26:48.079 --> 00:26:48.559
You know what I'm saying?
00:26:48.640 --> 00:26:51.599
I mean, just literally just saying the most irrelevant, stupid shit.
00:26:51.920 --> 00:27:01.359
D, big, big stallion, start getting mad, like genuinely mad, and start crying.
00:27:01.680 --> 00:27:07.839
The other one, like, walk out the hospital crying, go to her car, like, I just can't, I just need a break.
00:27:08.640 --> 00:27:18.160
And I was like, This is where I started to feel like an asshole because I was like, Why are y'all crying?
00:27:21.200 --> 00:27:22.079
What's going on?
00:27:22.240 --> 00:27:33.039
And I get it, like I get that like people touching on your insecurities is crazy, but it's just like I get it, I really do.
00:27:33.279 --> 00:27:37.519
Because you know, you don't know when you finna be triggered.
00:27:37.599 --> 00:27:46.000
So I don't wanna, I will I don't wanna seem obtuse and I don't wanna seem closed-minded, but it's just like this bitch don't have no teeth in her mouth, she don't even have the money to pay the exam fee.
00:27:46.319 --> 00:27:48.559
We see what type of situation she in.
00:27:48.880 --> 00:27:55.279
How could you ever let a bitch of this stature, you know what I'm saying?
00:27:55.440 --> 00:27:57.920
Move what you got going on inside of you, you know what I'm saying?
00:27:58.000 --> 00:28:00.079
Regardless of what your insecurities are.
00:28:00.640 --> 00:28:02.480
You gonna let that tap into them?
00:28:02.880 --> 00:28:08.079
Now, mind you, every single day, these bitches get called big and beautiful.
00:28:08.160 --> 00:28:08.880
And I know that don't mind.
00:28:08.960 --> 00:28:10.720
I told y'all plenty of times people call me attractive.
00:28:10.799 --> 00:28:13.200
I'm like, uh-uh, I really don't want to hear that shit.
00:28:13.279 --> 00:28:13.759
You know what I'm saying?
00:28:13.839 --> 00:28:15.920
It don't matter because I don't care if you think I'm attractive.
00:28:16.000 --> 00:28:17.759
I I need to think I'm attractive, you know what I'm saying?
00:28:17.839 --> 00:28:19.039
So it's not like you're trying to play me.
00:28:19.119 --> 00:28:19.680
Shut the fuck up.
00:28:19.839 --> 00:28:20.240
You know that?
00:28:20.319 --> 00:28:21.599
Somebody told you that, you know what I'm saying?
00:28:21.680 --> 00:28:25.599
So I get it, but it pissed me off so much because of how big their reactions were.
00:28:25.759 --> 00:28:29.200
If it just pissed them off with the rest of the shift and it was like, yeah, I ain't really fucking with y'all, I don't want to no more.
00:28:29.279 --> 00:28:29.680
You know what I'm saying?
00:28:29.759 --> 00:28:32.880
I'm just waiting to clock out because that pissed me, I that rubbed me the wrong way.
00:28:33.200 --> 00:28:41.359
But to like go outside crying with the theatrics, like, and then I could tell like the other girl wanted somebody to chase after her.
00:28:42.319 --> 00:28:46.160
Which I'm clocked in, like, I'm at work, I got a catheter to place.
00:28:46.319 --> 00:28:50.640
Like, I was like, I don't know.
00:28:51.279 --> 00:28:57.680
And then like there was another tech who was trying to like get me to sympathize with him.
00:28:57.759 --> 00:28:59.759
It's like, yeah, they're not feeling too hot right now.
00:28:59.839 --> 00:29:01.359
That lady really made him insecure.
00:29:01.440 --> 00:29:05.519
And I was like, Y'all do know that lady with a crackhead, right?
00:29:05.599 --> 00:29:09.279
Like, am I the only one who is not paying attention to that to that fact?
00:29:09.759 --> 00:29:18.880
So I guess yeah, I was being an asshole because I wasn't being sympathetic at all, but it's just like I don't know.
00:29:19.279 --> 00:29:20.480
I don't know.
00:29:21.039 --> 00:29:24.480
Like, I get it to be insecure, and then and then again, it it might just be my age.
00:29:24.559 --> 00:29:28.640
For some reason, I don't know why y'all, all the people that I hang out with are like 24 and below.
00:29:28.720 --> 00:29:29.279
I don't know why.
00:29:29.440 --> 00:29:30.640
I don't, I really don't.
00:29:30.799 --> 00:29:31.759
It's not on purpose.
00:29:31.839 --> 00:29:39.279
I promise you it's not, and it's annoying because 24 to 28 is such a big mind change.
00:29:39.440 --> 00:29:40.960
I don't care what nobody says.
00:29:41.119 --> 00:29:47.200
That's why when a grown person is dating a teenager, I don't give a fuck if they're 18 or 19, it's still weird.
00:29:47.759 --> 00:29:58.640
Because let's say from 18 to 22, you know how much mental shit you learn and go through and like develop in those years, that's why he's weird, that's why he's fucked up.
00:29:58.960 --> 00:30:06.640
So I think that's what I'm constantly going through is like this mental age gap with the people that I surround myself with.
00:30:06.720 --> 00:30:13.680
Cause I'm just like, also, back when the three of us were all cool, before that other one like threw herself out.
00:30:14.400 --> 00:30:18.160
I used to literally like ignore their text messages because when I tell y'all, I don't know.
00:30:18.319 --> 00:30:23.440
I I thought the girls were safe, I thought the girls were finally like getting smart with the niggas and stuff like that.
00:30:23.519 --> 00:30:28.000
But I have never met a group of bitches who just go out coochie ready.
00:30:29.599 --> 00:30:34.799
I mean coochie ready, like going out with the intention to find something to crack.
00:30:34.880 --> 00:30:38.400
I said, What?
00:30:39.039 --> 00:30:40.880
I was like, oh we not.
00:30:40.960 --> 00:30:44.400
I thought we were just gonna have a little drinky drink, shake a little ass ass, and like go home home.
00:30:44.480 --> 00:30:48.000
Like I wasn't trying to, I'm not trying to crack nothing.
00:30:48.400 --> 00:30:49.599
Y'all, do you know where I live?
00:30:49.680 --> 00:30:50.559
I live in Florida.
00:30:50.720 --> 00:30:52.319
You know what the next city over is?
00:30:52.480 --> 00:30:52.880
Atlanta.
00:30:52.960 --> 00:30:54.720
Do y'all know what the what Atlanta is?
00:30:54.960 --> 00:30:57.680
The STD capital of the motherfucking world.
00:30:57.759 --> 00:30:59.759
I don't and that might not even be true.
00:30:59.920 --> 00:31:00.640
Guess where it is?
00:31:00.880 --> 00:31:02.079
A fact in this motherfucker.
00:31:02.319 --> 00:31:07.680
I'm not cracking a random person, cracking a random nigga.
00:31:08.240 --> 00:31:15.119
Oh, y'all bitches, y'all bitches off off off some shit that I ain't never even heard of.
00:31:15.200 --> 00:31:17.279
Actually, I said I'm from Virginia Beach.
00:31:18.240 --> 00:31:19.279
They do that out there.
00:31:19.440 --> 00:31:20.000
I don't do that.
00:31:20.079 --> 00:31:20.960
Like, that's what I'm saying.
00:31:21.039 --> 00:31:23.359
Where I'm from at my house in Virginia Beach, we don't do shit like that.
00:31:23.440 --> 00:31:24.319
I'm so sorry.
00:31:24.559 --> 00:31:25.599
I'm so sorry.
00:31:25.839 --> 00:31:27.200
Oh, I'm so sorry.
00:31:27.519 --> 00:31:38.960
Crack a random it's Saturday, so maybe I am an asshole, but like some stuff I just can't I just can't fake the funk with it.
00:31:39.039 --> 00:31:45.440
Like I could tell y'all right now if a crackhead walked up to me and was like, yeah, bitch, you lonely ass bitch, that's why nobody wants you.
00:31:45.519 --> 00:31:47.680
That's why you're gonna be alone for the rest of your life.
00:31:49.119 --> 00:31:51.680
I'd be like, oh damn.
00:31:52.480 --> 00:31:53.200
You know what I'm saying?
00:31:53.279 --> 00:31:54.559
Like I'd be offended.
00:31:55.279 --> 00:32:02.799
But like not really, because ain't you broke and lonely and homeless and you know what I'm saying?
00:32:02.880 --> 00:32:16.160
Like not to be you know, but there's some things that just won't shake my some shit just can't trigger me, no matter how hard they try to dig into my insecurities or push my buttons.
00:32:16.240 --> 00:32:23.519
It's just like the call that you're trying to make this phone call on is dirty as fuck.
00:32:23.599 --> 00:32:24.079
You know what I'm saying?
00:32:24.160 --> 00:32:27.200
Like, not even that the call is coming from inside the house, the phone don't even work.
00:32:27.440 --> 00:32:30.079
The the the call can't even connect, you know what I'm saying?
00:32:30.160 --> 00:32:33.599
Because you are a homeless, dirty crackhead.
00:32:33.680 --> 00:32:34.960
Like, I I don't know.
00:32:35.440 --> 00:32:37.119
And love crackheads, love them to death.
00:32:37.200 --> 00:32:38.559
I got a great story with a crackhead.
00:32:38.640 --> 00:32:44.720
I used to have a hella crackhead friends in in Virginia Beach, and that sounds like I'm being wrong or disrespectful, but I promise I'm not.
00:32:44.799 --> 00:32:50.880
I do, and also I'm a slightly, but I'm I'm being for real.
00:32:50.960 --> 00:32:56.799
I had a lot of good homeless friends in Virginia Beach, but still though, like I don't know.
00:32:57.039 --> 00:33:02.720
Okay, so I guess that just chopped it up to me being an asshole, and I'm okay with that.
00:33:02.960 --> 00:33:12.640
Oh, I also wanted to say that I watched You, Me, and Tuscany on Monday, and I loved it, it was so cute.
00:33:12.720 --> 00:33:14.799
I thought it was absolutely perfect.
00:33:15.119 --> 00:33:23.519
Um, I just love it, and I think okay, so I'm gonna be a little messy.
00:33:23.680 --> 00:33:25.440
I'm gonna be a little messy.
00:33:26.319 --> 00:33:38.640
I'm gonna exercise my rude rights for a minute because I don't like you guys know that I have a really strong opinion about black people, right?
00:33:38.880 --> 00:33:49.440
One of my most I wanna say hard to swallow takes, or one of my most unpopular takes, is that I genuinely don't think biracial people are black.
00:33:49.519 --> 00:33:50.960
I think that they are biracial.
00:33:51.200 --> 00:33:55.920
I don't understand how you can get mad at that because you have a white mom and a white dad, that means you are biracial.
00:33:56.000 --> 00:34:01.359
I don't care what your hair texture looks like, I don't care what your nose looks like, on paper, you are biracial.
00:34:01.519 --> 00:34:07.039
I don't care about the one drop rule because it only proves how racist white people are, not how black an individual is.
00:34:07.200 --> 00:34:08.639
If you don't like that, I'm so sorry.
00:34:08.719 --> 00:34:11.119
That white parent means something to people who don't have it.
00:34:11.280 --> 00:34:12.639
That's just it, right?
00:34:13.039 --> 00:34:17.920
And I think about that in media a lot because I watch a lot of shows, I watch a lot of movies.
00:34:18.960 --> 00:34:30.639
And I've noticed that when the black girl or the black boy that's leading in the movie is biracial, for some reason that gets all everybody's attention.
00:34:30.719 --> 00:34:33.440
It gets all the black people's attention, it gets all the white people's attention.
00:34:33.599 --> 00:34:34.000
Why?
00:34:34.320 --> 00:34:43.679
Because that person is more palatable to look at, and that person is more palatable to white people.
00:34:45.440 --> 00:34:52.000
And I noticed that when you me and Tuscany came out and the drama was coming out.
00:34:52.159 --> 00:35:08.960
You see how the movie about the biracial school shooter is getting so much praise, and oh, it's so classy, and she's a phenomenal actress, and oh, of course, they paired her with him because they're both phenomenal and they're iconic and da-da-da-da.
00:35:10.320 --> 00:35:17.920
But when the black rom-com come out and the leading lady is a fully black woman, it looked corny, it looked cheesy, the marketing not good enough.
00:35:18.000 --> 00:35:18.480
I don't know.
00:35:18.559 --> 00:35:20.800
It uh it just looked like a Hallmark movie.
00:35:20.880 --> 00:35:21.599
I don't know.
00:35:25.840 --> 00:35:44.159
Why uh some of y'all got some real deep internalized racism, and which is cool to have it, but when you have shit like that, you need to know it.
00:35:44.320 --> 00:36:00.159
That's what I mean by I hate stupid shit, because whenever I'm possibly about to be wrong, or whenever it's an a moment where I possibly don't know what the fuck I talk about, I always say, y'all, I don't really know what the fuck, you know what I'm saying?
00:36:00.320 --> 00:36:11.199
So at least I know that when I'm being ignorant or when I'm being an asshole, or when I'm being shallow, I let you guys know because I don't want you to think that I don't know how stupid I fucking sound, right?
00:36:11.760 --> 00:36:28.639
But when you guys are like colorist and you have all this internalized racism and all this bigotry and all this bias towards color, towards hair texture, towards eye color, that be pissing me off.
00:36:29.519 --> 00:36:40.000
Because the main thing black people talk about is how much we're not appreciated in media, but you know who gotta fucking appreciate it when it's out?
00:36:41.440 --> 00:36:41.920
Us.
00:36:43.119 --> 00:36:45.119
We the motherfuckers who gotta appreciate it.
00:36:45.199 --> 00:36:51.920
So if there it's black art being made, black art being sold, and no black art being bought.
00:36:53.519 --> 00:36:55.280
Guess what the fuck is not finna do?
00:36:55.519 --> 00:36:58.079
Bro, guess what the fuck we not finna get it again?
00:36:58.159 --> 00:36:59.760
Guess what the fuck's never gonna happen?
00:36:59.920 --> 00:37:01.360
More black production.
00:37:02.079 --> 00:37:16.000
So this may be a hard take to hear, but y'all gotta get y'all ass up out of them, them biracial uh y'all, y'all gotta, y'all gotta, y'all gotta stop.
00:37:16.960 --> 00:37:37.760
Because to a dark-skinned black woman with two black parents, to a light-skinned black woman with two black parents, when we hear the first black woman to ever, or the first black man to ever, and we look at the black person in this motherfucker biracial, it's just like, yeah, I mean, yeah, but no.
00:37:37.920 --> 00:37:38.559
You know what I'm saying?
00:37:38.800 --> 00:37:39.840
Yeah, but no.
00:37:40.480 --> 00:37:42.800
Yes, but like, mmm.
00:37:43.840 --> 00:37:44.480
Mmm.
00:37:45.039 --> 00:37:45.360
Okay.
00:37:46.159 --> 00:37:47.119
And I didn't like that.
00:37:47.199 --> 00:37:51.519
I didn't like how much I saw that with these two movies coming out so close to each other.
00:37:51.840 --> 00:37:54.000
And even still, like, I'ma take it a step further.
00:37:54.079 --> 00:38:04.719
Y'all really gonna hate this because I know y'all love her down, but it's just like I'm tired of y'all loving people for the same shit y'all hate fully black people for.
00:38:04.880 --> 00:38:09.519
Let me give you an example, and I already know the rhetoric.
00:38:09.679 --> 00:38:25.039
So y'all know I don't get into celebrity drama a lot, but what I do judge people for is how they react to it because I think it's just a good, like, what if or would you rather?
00:38:25.199 --> 00:38:33.039
I think celebrity scenarios are really good to ask people about to hear what type of mindset a person would have in a certain situation, right?
00:38:33.199 --> 00:38:34.960
So that's what I use it for.
00:38:35.280 --> 00:38:51.199
But I remember when Hallie was pregnant and everybody was so irritated with her, for the right reason who her baby daddy was, you know what I'm saying, but just about how private she wanted that pregnancy to be for the right reason, you know what I'm saying?
00:38:51.360 --> 00:38:57.760
She just literally rolled off a Disney movie being a princess, never been pregnant before, you know what I'm saying?
00:38:57.920 --> 00:39:04.000
Like, all this shit happening, all she literally wanted to do was have her baby in private.
00:39:04.400 --> 00:39:07.920
Impossible, cool, with what she was doing at the time.
00:39:08.000 --> 00:39:11.519
She literally had to go on shows, like, had to promote her movie and shit like that.
00:39:11.679 --> 00:39:12.400
Get it.
00:39:13.840 --> 00:39:17.679
The way people was treating her was so crazy.
00:39:17.920 --> 00:39:20.400
The way people was talking about her was so crazy.
00:39:20.559 --> 00:39:23.280
Black women, insane.
00:39:24.320 --> 00:39:28.480
Well, uh all she had to do was tell us she had to tell you shit.
00:39:29.039 --> 00:39:31.440
Call her every name in the book.
00:39:32.079 --> 00:39:39.360
Zendaya probably don't share share shit with nobody, don't say shit to nobody, and what y'all do?
00:39:39.519 --> 00:39:55.599
Oh, she's so classy, oh she's so private, oh Zendaya don't play, oh Zendey don't play that, and it's just like I wish y'all would see how fucking stupid and how racist that look, you know what I'm saying?
00:39:55.679 --> 00:40:09.760
Granted, y'all might not be doing it from a racist standpoint, but it's giving aggression unnecessary aggression towards a black woman and unnecessary sympathy and for the biracial motherfucker, you know what I'm saying?
00:40:10.000 --> 00:40:11.199
I don't understand that.
00:40:11.280 --> 00:40:12.239
I really don't.
00:40:12.559 --> 00:40:21.519
Because if I was the same bitch that was haggling Hallie about her pregnancy, like it was any of my fucking business, like I'm the one who nutted in her.
00:40:21.679 --> 00:40:28.320
Bitch, I need to know when you pregnant when you haven't like if I was that same bitch, I'd have been I'd I'd have hated Zenday.
00:40:28.480 --> 00:40:30.719
This bitch don't tell nobody nothing.
00:40:30.960 --> 00:40:39.360
So it's just like I don't know how y'all can have so much grace and respect for one person and so much disdain, disgust, and and negativity to another person.
00:40:39.440 --> 00:40:41.760
And I know what y'all gonna say, yo, Hallie was lying to us.
00:40:41.840 --> 00:40:43.280
Hallie, yeah, she was.
00:40:43.519 --> 00:40:44.079
You know why?
00:40:44.239 --> 00:40:47.440
Because she won't she won't trying to let nobody know and it won't nobody fucking business.
00:40:47.519 --> 00:40:49.840
She tried to call us anti-black, yeah.
00:40:49.920 --> 00:40:52.400
Cause you're talking about some shit she don't want to hear about.
00:40:56.639 --> 00:40:58.239
You know what I'm saying?
00:40:58.960 --> 00:41:02.719
So it's just like I don't like how I don't like that.
00:41:02.880 --> 00:41:04.159
I just don't like that.
00:41:04.559 --> 00:41:14.800
Like I said, I'm well aware that this is a weird take, but it's it's something that I've seen for so long, and I'm I'm just so I'm weirded out by it.
00:41:15.119 --> 00:41:17.440
But I think y'all should go watch you mean Tuscany.
00:41:17.599 --> 00:41:28.000
I think at the end of the day, you should support fully black rom-coms, comedies, action, anime, cartoon, anything.
00:41:29.119 --> 00:41:46.079
Because if we're gonna complain about being the blueprint, if we're gonna complain about everybody still in our flavor, still in our culture, using us, you know what I'm saying, tokens and shit like that, the least we could do is back that shit up by supporting us when we need it.
00:41:48.000 --> 00:41:49.039
So yeah.
00:41:49.840 --> 00:41:56.239
Oh, they got I hope they didn't rub you guys the wrong way, but it's true.
00:41:56.559 --> 00:41:59.280
Some of y'all are weird when it comes to that, you know what I'm saying?
00:41:59.360 --> 00:42:04.000
And I've been light skinned my whole life, so I've I've been on the receiving end of that shit.
00:42:04.079 --> 00:42:05.679
That's why it pissed me off so much, you know what I'm saying?
00:42:05.760 --> 00:42:08.880
I've had dark-skinned best friends, some people in my family dark skinned, bitch.
00:42:08.960 --> 00:42:10.559
I think I'm dark-skinned in my head.
00:42:10.719 --> 00:42:14.000
So when I see it, it's real specific to me, you know what I'm saying?
00:42:14.079 --> 00:42:19.280
Because I've I've I've heard it done to me, I've seen it with me, you know what I'm saying, and my dark-skinned counterpart.
00:42:19.440 --> 00:42:24.000
So it's just like, I don't care what your intention was, that's what the fuck it sounds like, you know what I'm saying?
00:42:24.159 --> 00:42:28.719
So y'all so quick to judge and be harsh and be negative towards a fully black woman.
00:42:28.800 --> 00:42:33.840
But when a bitch got light eyes and a certain curl pattern and light skin, it's just like, oh well, look at her.
00:42:33.920 --> 00:42:36.079
We would you expect, you know, she's just a baby.
00:42:36.159 --> 00:42:37.840
It's like, no, she fucking died.
00:42:38.079 --> 00:42:39.760
So I don't know.
00:42:40.000 --> 00:42:41.760
I don't want to beat a dead horse.
00:42:42.000 --> 00:42:47.119
So, you guys, it's gonna take me like seven days to edit this video.
00:42:47.280 --> 00:42:47.760
I know it.
00:42:47.840 --> 00:42:48.800
I'm so sorry.
00:42:49.039 --> 00:42:50.239
I'm really sorry.
00:42:50.480 --> 00:42:53.199
Um, so I don't know when this video is gonna be out.
00:42:53.280 --> 00:42:54.800
Hopefully this week.
00:42:55.840 --> 00:43:00.159
Happy 420 if I don't put this episode out before then.
00:43:00.320 --> 00:43:02.079
That's gonna make me want to edit it all tonight.
00:43:02.159 --> 00:43:03.920
Damn it, because I want to do a smoke episode.
00:43:04.079 --> 00:43:06.079
Also, guys, I'm getting back on Patreon.
00:43:06.239 --> 00:43:16.079
I'll let you know maybe two episodes from now, um, what that whole new setup is gonna look like, what to see, and stuff like that.
00:43:16.239 --> 00:43:20.400
So, yeah, I'll see you guys in the next one.
00:43:20.719 --> 00:43:21.360
Bye.
00:00:12.400 --> 00:00:16.160
Hi guys, welcome back to the chemically imbalanced black girl podcast.
00:00:16.320 --> 00:00:23.679
This podcast is a collection of video and audio existential crisis thoughts from a chemically imbalanced black girl who is me.
00:00:23.920 --> 00:00:25.600
And my name is Zarya.
00:00:26.079 --> 00:00:29.120
Guys, oh welcome to my new apartment.
00:00:29.359 --> 00:00:39.200
Y'all gotta give me a couple episodes to figure out like the audio, how how good it sounds, um, the camera angle, because my TV's right there.
00:00:39.520 --> 00:00:43.600
I didn't want the window to be open so y'all can see, like, oh, that bitch lived next to a chick-fil-a, all right, bad.
00:00:43.679 --> 00:00:44.399
I'm gonna go beat her ass.
00:00:44.479 --> 00:00:44.960
You know what I'm saying?
00:00:45.039 --> 00:00:46.240
Not that y'all can beat me.
00:00:48.640 --> 00:00:51.679
But you know, just to avoid future confrontation.
00:00:51.759 --> 00:00:58.960
No, I was just joking, but um, yeah, so this is where the podcast is gonna be filmed from now on when I do my video episodes.
00:00:59.200 --> 00:01:14.480
Um, the only thing that I'm not too comfortable about is like I obviously have my a little bit of my collection of octopus, but like I've missed my anime stuff, and some of it is like right here on my TV, my windowsill, most of it's in my room.
00:01:14.719 --> 00:01:20.640
So I feel like I'm gonna miss that because I feel like that's what catches people, you know, like my type of people when they see my anime shit.
00:01:20.719 --> 00:01:24.719
They're gonna be like, oh, this bitch doing a podcast out of a coffee challet, what the fuck?
00:01:24.959 --> 00:01:28.879
So but yeah, but guys, let's jump right into the episode.
00:01:29.120 --> 00:01:40.239
Um, and I I speaking of jumping right into the episode, I have to clear something up about the last episode because I know sometimes I say shit and it sounds real harsh.
00:01:40.400 --> 00:01:58.719
And this one person DM'd me, and they were like, be careful to try to sound like be careful on not trying to sound pretentious and like an asshole on on accident, because I guess I said, like, why am I alleged at least going off of what I said?
00:01:58.879 --> 00:02:03.120
I did say, Hey Clover, you wanna stop?
00:02:04.159 --> 00:02:20.240
But in the last, the one I just put out recently, I said that like I don't like talking to people too much because like if it's if it's nothing of substance, then I don't really care, which is true, but also kind of not because like obviously this podcast isn't of substance.
00:02:20.319 --> 00:02:35.840
I be talking about bullshit all the time, but it's just like there is a genre or like a level of like insignificant, funny bullshit that I can talk about, you know what I'm saying?
00:02:36.080 --> 00:02:41.680
But it's like ignorant, uneducated, hurtful, offensive shit.
00:02:41.759 --> 00:02:43.120
That's this that that's what I meant.
00:02:43.199 --> 00:02:43.840
You know what I'm saying?
00:02:43.919 --> 00:02:50.879
So I didn't want you, I didn't want you guys to be like, oh, if I'm not talking about anything Harvard level, then I can't even talk to Zarya.
00:02:51.039 --> 00:02:52.240
Zarya likes talking about bullshit.
00:02:52.319 --> 00:02:55.199
Zarya doesn't like stupidity.
00:02:55.280 --> 00:02:55.919
That's literally it.
00:02:56.000 --> 00:02:56.800
I hate stupid shit.
00:02:56.879 --> 00:02:58.240
I'll say it all day long.
00:02:58.479 --> 00:03:04.240
Um, so I'm so glad I could cleared that up because I was like, I don't want y'all to think a bitch came back like high seddy.
00:03:04.400 --> 00:03:07.199
Like, you can't talk to me about bullshit because I love bullshit.
00:03:07.360 --> 00:03:08.960
So let's just jump right into this shit.
00:03:09.120 --> 00:03:12.719
Um, I have a fuck ton that I want to talk to you guys about.
00:03:12.879 --> 00:03:17.360
The first topic I want to talk to you guys about is just this is just we're gonna we're gonna gap.
00:03:17.680 --> 00:03:25.840
And I feel like I have a fear, like my number one fear that I have, a lot of people have, and I just want to talk about it.
00:03:25.919 --> 00:03:36.319
So my fear of driving has like quadrupled since I've been living in Florida, and I've been scared to drive since I got my license.
00:03:36.400 --> 00:03:44.000
I taught myself how to drive, I bought my own first car, like, and I've never driven on the highway since I purchased my car.
00:03:44.159 --> 00:03:51.759
Like, if it's 17 minutes on the highway and it's 45 minutes on the back roads, I'll see everybody in 45 minutes.
00:03:51.919 --> 00:03:57.759
Like, I'm I'm not taking the highway, and it's always scared me, like, always.
00:03:57.919 --> 00:04:00.800
And I've known some friends that have gotten into car accidents.
00:04:00.879 --> 00:04:18.319
Like, I knew this girl in high school who was like on the cheer team, super cute, super preppy, you know, super, you know, in the middle of her fucking life, and got into a car accident, and it literally, I mean, brain damage so bad, it just changed this girl's whole life.
00:04:18.959 --> 00:04:23.759
I mean, everything, and it and it scared me so bad, and I and I felt so bad.
00:04:24.000 --> 00:04:29.120
Um and so it it's gotten worse.
00:04:29.279 --> 00:04:39.600
So a few months ago, well, I guess the last couple of months of 2025, because it was in like maybe November and then December.
00:04:43.519 --> 00:04:47.279
So the first one I was on my way to work.
00:04:48.560 --> 00:04:53.040
I'm about to tell you guys a story of two car crashes I was in and witnessed.
00:04:53.519 --> 00:04:59.519
Sometimes I just start talking and I don't you know I don't give a good explanation of what the fuck I'm about to start talking about.
00:04:59.600 --> 00:05:00.399
I just start talking.
00:05:00.480 --> 00:05:02.560
So we'll work on that.
00:05:02.879 --> 00:05:06.240
But it was like in November, do you want to come up here?
00:05:07.839 --> 00:05:10.560
My child's like, come on then.
00:05:11.120 --> 00:05:11.759
Whatever.
00:05:12.079 --> 00:05:21.600
So I'm driving, I'm going to work, and I hear now my music is blasted when I drive music all the way up.
00:05:21.680 --> 00:05:23.360
I'm playing dance, gavin, dance.
00:05:23.439 --> 00:05:28.720
I'm playing like it's it's getting it's getting it's getting heavy in there, right?
00:05:28.800 --> 00:05:30.079
So my music is turned up.
00:05:30.160 --> 00:05:31.120
I'm jamming the fuck out, right?
00:05:31.199 --> 00:05:34.319
Because I'm finna go fuck with dogs and cats all night.
00:05:34.480 --> 00:05:35.920
So I'm trying to jam out.
00:05:36.560 --> 00:05:43.600
I see police lights behind me, and they're like, it's like four police cars like flying down the fucking street.
00:05:43.759 --> 00:05:53.439
So I I'm on the right side, which is the inner side of the street, and I jump the curb because they not giving people no time to get out the way, you know what I'm saying?
00:05:53.519 --> 00:05:55.759
Like, they literally flying down the fucking street.
00:05:55.839 --> 00:05:57.199
So I jump the curb, right?
00:05:57.360 --> 00:06:00.639
I get off the curb because I'm thinking all of them that came by.
00:06:01.279 --> 00:06:02.639
I jump off the curb.
00:06:02.800 --> 00:06:03.839
I'm going straight.
00:06:03.920 --> 00:06:06.959
I look in the rearview mirror just to make sure I'm good to keep driving.
00:06:07.199 --> 00:06:11.920
I see a black SUV in the fucking air, flipping.
00:06:12.000 --> 00:06:13.600
I was like, huh?
00:06:14.079 --> 00:06:15.839
Everybody knows I've got good good eyesight.
00:06:15.920 --> 00:06:17.519
I don't even know why I'm not wearing my glasses right now.
00:06:17.600 --> 00:06:18.240
They're sitting right there.
00:06:18.399 --> 00:06:19.199
Forgot to put them on.
00:06:19.360 --> 00:06:21.040
Guess I'ma just not see this video.
00:06:21.199 --> 00:06:21.680
Cool.
00:06:22.079 --> 00:06:24.240
I'm gonna wear them while I'm editing though.
00:06:24.560 --> 00:06:35.759
Um, so I see a black SUV, not car, not bike, SUV, like a big ass truck flipping in the air in my rearview mirror.
00:06:35.839 --> 00:06:38.959
I'm like, oh my gosh, without a fucking thought.
00:06:39.120 --> 00:06:41.120
I don't even know if I put my car in park.
00:06:41.279 --> 00:06:44.160
I threw the keys, don't know where the keys went.
00:06:44.319 --> 00:06:47.199
I get out of the car and I start booking it to this fucking SUV.
00:06:47.279 --> 00:06:51.680
The SUV has landed on its fucking top part, so it's wheels up at this point.
00:06:51.759 --> 00:06:53.600
I'm like, no way.
00:06:54.160 --> 00:06:56.240
I get out of the car, I'm fucking booking it.
00:06:56.399 --> 00:06:59.680
The closer I'm getting to the car, I can hear kids screaming.
00:06:59.759 --> 00:07:05.360
I was like, Oh, I'm finna traumatize, I'm finna be traumatized.
00:07:05.519 --> 00:07:10.399
I'm finna be traumatized, but it just made me run faster because I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:07:10.560 --> 00:07:11.759
I was like, not the kids.
00:07:11.839 --> 00:07:14.639
I was like, oh my god, my heart is racing, right?
00:07:14.879 --> 00:07:18.879
So I have to like get on my belly to see inside the car.
00:07:19.040 --> 00:07:20.560
Mind you, I don't know if the car is about to blow up.
00:07:20.639 --> 00:07:21.360
I don't know what's going on.
00:07:21.439 --> 00:07:27.279
It's groceries all over the place because they just got it's it's obvious that these people just came back from grocery shopping, right?
00:07:27.439 --> 00:07:30.079
Ugh made me it make me sad every time I think about it.
00:07:30.240 --> 00:07:52.959
But so I look in the car, it's uh older lady, I'm assuming the grandma in the driver's seat, a pregnant lady, a heavily pregnant woman, in the passenger seat, and there is like maybe a four or three-year-old in a car seat in the back seat, and there's her brother who's like six or seven across from her, also in the backseat.
00:07:53.279 --> 00:07:56.639
And the grandma is just screaming, like, Oh my god, I'm in pain, I'm in pain.
00:07:56.800 --> 00:07:58.959
I was like, Can you take your seatbelt off?
00:07:59.040 --> 00:08:00.160
Like, I'm panicking and shit, right?
00:08:00.240 --> 00:08:06.560
And I'm trying to reach in the back to get the baby out of the car seat, and the brother's helping me because he was he was the most fine out of all of them.
00:08:06.800 --> 00:08:07.839
How I don't know.
00:08:08.160 --> 00:08:13.360
So he's helping me get his sister out of the back seat, and I'm like, you guys just I was like, put your sister out, and you crawl through the window.
00:08:13.439 --> 00:08:16.240
I I'm I can't, I need like help getting your grandma out.
00:08:16.399 --> 00:08:26.399
So as I'm telling this little boy I need help getting his grandma out, I'm I like I like stop for a second and I'm like yeah, I do need help.
00:08:26.560 --> 00:08:32.159
So I duck out the fucking I don't even know how I'm in the truck.
00:08:32.240 --> 00:08:34.559
I'm on my stomach, so I like slide out and stand up.
00:08:34.720 --> 00:08:36.240
I turn around, y'all.
00:08:36.559 --> 00:08:40.879
It is like I don't want to exaggerate.
00:08:41.279 --> 00:08:46.320
It's like seven, eight people recording me, not doing a fuck thing, right?
00:08:46.480 --> 00:08:51.759
Niggas, men, grown women, all just taking pictures and shit like that.
00:08:51.840 --> 00:08:53.440
I start spazzing.
00:08:53.519 --> 00:08:55.519
If there's a video of me on TikTok, I wouldn't be surprised.
00:08:55.600 --> 00:08:57.200
I start cussing everybody out.
00:08:57.440 --> 00:08:58.960
What the fuck are y'all doing?
00:08:59.120 --> 00:09:00.799
If y'all don't get the fuck over here, help me.
00:09:00.879 --> 00:09:02.000
I can't get all this fucking.
00:09:02.159 --> 00:09:04.320
I start spazzing, like literally spazzing.
00:09:04.639 --> 00:09:10.639
Because why the fuck is my I mean, I you know, I ain't no I ain't no little bitch, but you know, I bitch.
00:09:10.720 --> 00:09:11.200
I need some help.
00:09:11.279 --> 00:09:12.320
Like it's four people in this car.
00:09:12.399 --> 00:09:13.440
I can't get these niggas out by myself.
00:09:13.519 --> 00:09:15.440
Now, granted, I was on my way to work, so I wasn't scrubs.
00:09:15.679 --> 00:09:17.039
Bitch, I don't work with people, I work with animals.
00:09:17.120 --> 00:09:18.159
Like, y'all need to help me.
00:09:18.240 --> 00:09:19.840
I don't know what the fuck is going on.
00:09:20.159 --> 00:09:21.840
I start spazzing, right?
00:09:22.159 --> 00:09:24.639
The grandma is just screaming, screaming, screaming.
00:09:24.799 --> 00:09:26.000
Oh my god, I don't know.
00:09:26.080 --> 00:09:27.919
Like, I and I'm I'm trying not to cry.
00:09:28.000 --> 00:09:31.360
I'm trying to talk to her, like, ma'am, I need you to like lift your leg up so I can pull you out.
00:09:31.440 --> 00:09:32.879
Her leg's all bent back and shit like that.
00:09:32.960 --> 00:09:35.279
I'm like, oh my god, the pregnant lady not saying shit.
00:09:35.440 --> 00:09:39.919
I was like, if this lady passed away, one, I'm for sure not going to work.
00:09:40.159 --> 00:09:41.440
That's that's just a giving.
00:09:41.519 --> 00:09:42.639
I might not go now.
00:09:43.039 --> 00:09:43.600
Two.
00:09:47.279 --> 00:09:48.320
You know what I'm saying?
00:09:48.399 --> 00:09:50.960
Like, I just I don't know what I'm gonna do.
00:09:51.039 --> 00:09:52.720
I don't know how I'm gonna feel.
00:09:52.879 --> 00:09:54.559
I don't know what's gonna happen, right?
00:09:55.120 --> 00:09:56.879
So the ambulance finally came.
00:09:57.039 --> 00:10:02.559
Mind you, mind you, mind you, the fourth police car is the car that hit him.
00:10:02.639 --> 00:10:04.399
I don't even know why I flew past that point.
00:10:04.559 --> 00:10:09.200
The fourth police car clipped their car, made their car car flip in the air, landed upside down.
00:10:09.360 --> 00:10:10.960
Guess where that police officer went?
00:10:12.240 --> 00:10:20.639
Still in pursuit, didn't stop, didn't give a fuck, didn't give you like didn't give a buck, just kept on driving.
00:10:20.799 --> 00:10:23.279
He could have killed everybody in his fucking car, didn't stop.
00:10:23.519 --> 00:10:24.159
Cool, cool.
00:10:24.240 --> 00:10:26.879
So on the way to an emergency, you just gonna kill everybody.
00:10:27.200 --> 00:10:28.799
Nice, love that, love that about y'all.
00:10:28.879 --> 00:10:30.320
It's my favorite thing, actually.
00:10:34.480 --> 00:10:36.639
I'm still mad about it, obviously.
00:10:37.279 --> 00:10:47.360
So the fire department comes, the paramedics come, I mean the other police officers come, and I can't get the pregnant lady out.
00:10:47.440 --> 00:10:51.919
I'm even scared to touch her, like she's like at least at least seven months pregnant.
00:10:52.000 --> 00:10:54.639
This belly is done, you know.
00:10:54.879 --> 00:10:56.559
I'm scared to touch her.
00:10:57.919 --> 00:11:03.759
So the paramedics come, they some of them obviously start helping her get out the car.
00:11:04.559 --> 00:11:06.559
Police overcome up to me, ask me what's going on.
00:11:06.639 --> 00:11:09.440
I don't even think I let him ask fully what's going on.
00:11:09.519 --> 00:11:11.519
I start cussing this man out.
00:11:11.679 --> 00:11:12.559
This poor man.
00:11:12.720 --> 00:11:14.000
I mean, not poor him, fuck him.
00:11:14.080 --> 00:11:14.639
You know what I'm saying?
00:11:14.720 --> 00:11:16.399
I I really don't care, you know.
00:11:16.480 --> 00:11:19.039
And I was like, I'm telling him exactly what I told y'all.
00:11:19.120 --> 00:11:23.519
Like, y'all fucking flying down the street, they fucking click their car, they car rolling in the fucking air.
00:11:23.600 --> 00:11:24.320
Y'all killing everybody.
00:11:24.399 --> 00:11:25.679
How the fuck y'all supposed to be protecting people?
00:11:25.759 --> 00:11:27.279
Y'all the main ones out here fucking killing people.
00:11:27.360 --> 00:11:28.960
I mean, I'm I'm going off, okay?
00:11:29.120 --> 00:11:30.480
I'm losing my shit, okay?
00:11:30.559 --> 00:11:31.759
Cause y'all just traumatized me.
00:11:31.840 --> 00:11:33.440
I was trying to go to work, be a little vet tech.
00:11:33.600 --> 00:11:34.000
You know what I'm saying?
00:11:34.080 --> 00:11:34.879
That's all I'm trying to do.
00:11:35.039 --> 00:11:37.519
I'm trying to make a little coin peacefully.
00:11:37.679 --> 00:11:38.639
That's it.
00:11:39.759 --> 00:11:42.159
Y'all out here running around like it's GTA and shit like that.
00:11:42.240 --> 00:11:44.720
Like, didn't even stop, didn't give a fuck.
00:11:45.120 --> 00:11:46.399
That's the thing I don't like.
00:11:46.559 --> 00:11:50.240
And I so I made a statement and shit like that.
00:11:50.559 --> 00:11:51.440
Whatever.
00:11:52.000 --> 00:11:55.679
I really wish I would have got their names, but I was just so I was shaking, boy.
00:11:55.840 --> 00:12:00.080
Some nigga in the crowd, because now everybody done pulled over and shit after the fact.
00:12:00.399 --> 00:12:02.720
Some like some niggas like, who keys these, right?
00:12:02.799 --> 00:12:04.240
Mind you, he could have stole my car and shit like that.
00:12:04.320 --> 00:12:05.600
Cause I don't even think my car was off.
00:12:05.759 --> 00:12:08.320
I just I just pulled the bitch over.
00:12:08.480 --> 00:12:10.080
I was like, oh, those are my keys.
00:12:10.240 --> 00:12:16.639
I get my keys, I get back in the car, and when I tell y'all I start sobbing, I start sobbing on the way to work.
00:12:16.720 --> 00:12:23.519
I was like, wow, I don't think I can go to work, but you know, I need a paycheck, rent due every month.
00:12:23.600 --> 00:12:24.799
So I was like, I'm gonna go.
00:12:24.960 --> 00:12:29.279
I'ma just go in the bathroom for a few minutes and uh fix myself up.
00:12:29.600 --> 00:12:37.600
And the number one thing I hated about that was that nobody else gave a fuck about those people.
00:12:37.759 --> 00:12:40.080
And I'm gonna tell you something about me, you guys.
00:12:40.240 --> 00:12:59.519
As much as I like hate, I'm not like a people person, and as much as I seem like I don't like people, because I don't I would if if somebody was ever like in danger around me, there is no way in hell I would not do something about it, you know what I'm saying?
00:12:59.600 --> 00:13:10.399
Like, and I don't know if that's from a mixture of me being a flight attendant and me being like literally taught and trained to like you have to save people, like what the fuck?
00:13:10.480 --> 00:13:10.960
Why would you not?
00:13:11.039 --> 00:13:11.679
You know what I'm saying?
00:13:11.759 --> 00:13:13.600
Like you you the saver, bitch.
00:13:13.919 --> 00:13:20.559
And the combination of well, I don't I've been wanting to die since I was like seven, bitch.
00:13:20.639 --> 00:13:21.519
Like, I don't really give a fuck.
00:13:21.600 --> 00:13:28.879
If it's if it if I can give my life to save somebody else's life when they need it, without a fucking doubt, without a fucking thought, you know what I'm saying?
00:13:29.039 --> 00:13:41.519
So to witness all these people, see these people and these babies need physical help and decide to not do shit and just stand and like chat amongst themselves or like record it, that shit don't make sense in my brain.
00:13:41.679 --> 00:13:42.960
That shit don't make sense in my brain.
00:13:43.039 --> 00:13:45.919
Because even if the car blew up, I'd have still been in there grabbing them fucking people.
00:13:46.000 --> 00:13:46.879
We all finna die then.
00:13:47.200 --> 00:13:47.759
You know what I'm saying?
00:13:47.840 --> 00:13:48.639
Bitch, I've been ready to go.
00:13:48.720 --> 00:13:49.360
I don't give a fuck.
00:13:49.440 --> 00:13:51.840
If you can live and I can die, cool, cool trait.
00:13:51.919 --> 00:13:52.320
You know what I'm saying?
00:13:52.399 --> 00:13:53.519
You didn't fucking deserve that.
00:13:53.679 --> 00:13:55.039
So I don't know.
00:13:55.440 --> 00:13:57.200
That really just disgusted me with all the people.
00:13:57.279 --> 00:13:58.320
I was I was yelling at everybody.
00:13:58.399 --> 00:13:59.840
My throat was even hurting the rest of that night.
00:13:59.919 --> 00:14:04.159
I and I work overnight, so I was it was it was just bad.
00:14:04.240 --> 00:14:14.960
And it traumatized me because I was just like, I don't, I don't, I don't want to be the person who jumps in to save people because I hate seeing hurt people, I hate seeing shit like that.
00:14:15.120 --> 00:14:18.720
Like if they were more hurt than they were, like that would have just fucked me up for the rest of my life.
00:14:18.879 --> 00:14:32.720
But like I can't not do it because if I was ever in need of physical help and I watch people just not help me, you know what I'm saying?
00:14:32.799 --> 00:14:38.000
I would be like, then yeah, I should probably just die because don't nobody give a fuck, you know?
00:14:38.080 --> 00:14:39.840
And I refuse to be one of those people that don't give a fuck.
00:14:39.919 --> 00:14:45.759
I don't even need to know you, I don't need to know anything, but if you need help, I'm gonna help.
00:14:45.840 --> 00:14:49.039
Like, I don't even understand how you cannot, like, that's crazy to me.
00:14:54.000 --> 00:15:08.559
Number two is um I was going to Tampa or Tallahassee, one of the Florida states that start with a T, I don't remember.
00:15:08.879 --> 00:15:09.440
Talula?
00:15:09.679 --> 00:15:11.120
I don't fucking know where we were going.
00:15:11.919 --> 00:15:23.279
Long story short, we were going I was going with my dad, my biological dad, not my adopted dad, two different men, and his wife to meet some of my dad's friends.
00:15:23.360 --> 00:15:26.960
Cause I don't know if I told y'all, but me and my biological dad met recently.
00:15:27.120 --> 00:15:30.639
Now he's trying to, I mean, not recently, we met a long time ago, but you know what I'm saying.
00:15:30.720 --> 00:15:33.120
Now we're trying to like actually have a relationship.
00:15:33.200 --> 00:15:34.960
Well, you know, anyway.
00:15:36.080 --> 00:15:42.080
And so he invites me all the time to like go to meet his friends or the rest of his side of the family and shit like that.
00:15:42.159 --> 00:15:43.120
So I'm like, all right, bet.
00:15:43.519 --> 00:15:49.600
Now, wherever we were going was like three hours from where I live, right?
00:15:50.000 --> 00:15:52.240
I just told y'all I don't like driving on the highway.
00:15:52.399 --> 00:15:54.320
I was like, there's no motherfucking way I'm gonna drive.
00:15:54.399 --> 00:15:56.080
Because he was like, Yeah, you could just follow behind us.
00:15:56.159 --> 00:15:57.440
No, I'm not gonna do that.
00:15:57.679 --> 00:16:00.799
Either you finna, I'm finna drive with y'all or I'm not going.
00:16:00.879 --> 00:16:02.320
And mind you, I'm fine with not going.
00:16:02.399 --> 00:16:03.200
You invited me.
00:16:03.279 --> 00:16:07.519
It's not like you know what I'm saying, I'm gonna be offended if y'all don't want me to drive with you.
00:16:07.840 --> 00:16:10.480
Um, but I'm for sure not driving.
00:16:10.720 --> 00:16:22.720
And I can't remember why he didn't want me to go with them, but he was expressing how much he really wanted me to go, and it made me cry because I was just like, yo, y'all not taking the fact that I'm scared seriously enough for me.
00:16:22.799 --> 00:16:23.440
You know what I'm saying?
00:16:23.519 --> 00:16:28.799
Like, I'm scared, like it's not, I'm not joking, I'm not trying to be dramatic, I'm not trying to be difficult.
00:16:28.960 --> 00:16:30.559
This is a genuine fear of mine.
00:16:30.639 --> 00:16:36.639
I'm scared, and I feel like something bad is gonna happen if I go, if I drive, so I don't want to go, and I'm okay with that.
00:16:36.720 --> 00:16:37.440
You know what I'm saying?
00:16:37.519 --> 00:16:41.600
Like, I I don't have these feelings for nothing, like I am scared.
00:16:42.000 --> 00:16:44.879
So my dads end up, all right.
00:16:44.960 --> 00:16:45.600
You could drive with us.
00:16:45.679 --> 00:16:46.720
So I'm like, all right, cool.
00:16:46.879 --> 00:16:47.919
Got my little snacks.
00:16:48.000 --> 00:16:50.799
I'm a I'm a great road trip passenger, you know what I'm saying?
00:16:50.879 --> 00:16:52.159
I'll shut the fuck up the whole time.
00:16:52.240 --> 00:16:53.279
It's not like I want to be there.
00:16:53.360 --> 00:16:56.480
Either I'm listening to music or a podcast, or I'm laying down sleep, right?
00:16:56.639 --> 00:16:58.720
God forbid I won't lay down sleep when this happens.
00:16:58.879 --> 00:17:07.119
So we like maybe an hour and a half into the drive, and on the highway, a lot of traffic.
00:17:08.240 --> 00:17:14.400
I guess excuse me, Prisecco fucking me up.
00:17:15.359 --> 00:17:21.359
I guess one of the cars in front of us ran into a tow truck and it just caused like an endless pile up, right?
00:17:22.400 --> 00:17:29.519
So my mom's my mom's, my dad's wife is driving and she can see the pileup, right?
00:17:29.599 --> 00:17:32.799
So she swerves off the highway and into the grass, right?
00:17:33.039 --> 00:17:34.720
Now we think we're safe.
00:17:34.960 --> 00:17:38.000
Mind you, the person behind her didn't do that, right?
00:17:38.079 --> 00:17:38.880
They ain't see shit.
00:17:38.960 --> 00:17:43.359
So now they are part of this pile-up, and everybody else behind them, it's a 50-car pile-up.
00:17:43.519 --> 00:17:46.640
You can look it up online, but don't, because you might see a video of me.
00:17:46.799 --> 00:17:47.440
So please don't.
00:17:47.599 --> 00:17:49.279
Because niggas was recording.
00:17:49.519 --> 00:17:55.519
Um, pull off into the grass, everybody in front of us and everybody behind us is just colliding.
00:17:55.599 --> 00:17:56.960
Doom doom doom doom doom.
00:17:57.039 --> 00:17:58.000
We can hear it, right?
00:17:58.559 --> 00:18:03.200
So maybe two cars behind us is an 18-wheeler, right?
00:18:03.839 --> 00:18:07.920
The car behind that 18-wheeler was about to slam into the 18-wheeler.
00:18:08.000 --> 00:18:10.160
She also ran off the highway into the grass.
00:18:10.240 --> 00:18:14.400
And guess who the fuck she ran into the back of us, right?
00:18:14.559 --> 00:18:17.519
So we in the grass for like 30 seconds, we think we cool.
00:18:17.680 --> 00:18:19.359
Boom! Hit the fuck out of us.
00:18:19.440 --> 00:18:24.079
I was like, oh shit, and I need to have time to tense up because we ain't see the bitch coming, you know what I'm saying?
00:18:24.240 --> 00:18:27.039
I mean, hit the fuck out of us, scooted us a good couple yards up.
00:18:27.119 --> 00:18:28.079
I was like, damn.
00:18:28.559 --> 00:18:44.880
So my back was hurting, and that didn't traumatize me as much as the first one did, but it wasn't fun, especially because I knew something bad was gonna happen.
00:18:45.039 --> 00:18:51.359
I literally said to them niggas, if I drive, I feel like I'ma die, and I'm not being dramatic.
00:18:51.440 --> 00:18:52.400
That's literally what I said.
00:18:52.480 --> 00:18:54.559
I was like, I feel like something bad is gonna happen.
00:18:54.640 --> 00:18:56.079
I have this bad feeling in my spirit.
00:18:56.160 --> 00:18:57.839
I do not want to go if I have to drive.
00:18:58.079 --> 00:19:00.960
Now imagine if I was behind them niggas driving.
00:19:03.359 --> 00:19:04.799
Guess what would have happened to Zarya?
00:19:04.960 --> 00:19:06.400
Would have been fucked up, you know what I'm saying?
00:19:06.559 --> 00:19:09.200
What if I was changing a song at the time, you know what I'm saying?
00:19:09.279 --> 00:19:17.759
Not that I'd be looking at my phone when I drive, but I'm just saying, you know, like what if I wasn't as quick as my my dad's wife and I didn't get the chance to run into the fucking, you know, because some of them people were hurt.
00:19:17.839 --> 00:19:18.799
It was a 50-car pile-up.
00:19:18.960 --> 00:19:20.799
Some of them people were fucked up, you know what I'm saying?
00:19:20.880 --> 00:19:21.920
18 wheelers involved.
00:19:22.000 --> 00:19:24.319
Of course, people were fucked up, you know what I'm saying?
00:19:24.400 --> 00:19:25.519
And what do my dumb ass do?
00:19:25.680 --> 00:19:28.960
Get out, I go, mind you, 50 cars, probably more.
00:19:29.119 --> 00:19:31.519
My dumb ass run all the way to the front of the line.
00:19:31.680 --> 00:19:32.240
Y'all okay?
00:19:32.400 --> 00:19:33.119
Everybody alright?
00:19:33.200 --> 00:19:33.759
I'm trying to see.
00:19:33.839 --> 00:19:35.359
I'm just trying to make sure if there's anything I could do.
00:19:35.440 --> 00:19:37.359
I could do CPR, like a motherfucker, actually.
00:19:37.519 --> 00:19:39.599
I could save, I could, or at least attempt.
00:19:39.759 --> 00:19:40.559
You know what I'm saying?
00:19:40.640 --> 00:19:46.319
So and then the lady who ran into us, I couldn't even, we couldn't even be mad at her because we was like, Yep, well, that's a good point.
00:19:46.400 --> 00:19:48.079
Because she got out of the car, she was like, I'm so sorry.
00:19:48.160 --> 00:19:49.680
I'll give y'all my information in a few minutes.
00:19:49.759 --> 00:19:53.759
She was like, I if there was an 18-wheeler in front of me, she was like, I was gonna hit anybody.
00:19:54.000 --> 00:19:57.359
I had my kids in my car, I was not finna hit the back of an 18-wheeler.
00:19:57.440 --> 00:19:59.119
So I that definitely hit y'all on purpose.
00:19:59.200 --> 00:20:01.440
Like, it was either y'all or everybody in this car died.
00:20:01.519 --> 00:20:05.200
I was like, My dad was like, Bitch, we get it.
00:20:05.279 --> 00:20:09.359
Like, like we ain't mad at you, but you know, you could have hit the brakes a little harder, but it's alright.
00:20:09.519 --> 00:20:10.720
Neck kinda hurt, but it's cool.
00:20:10.799 --> 00:20:11.920
Your kid's cool.
00:20:12.960 --> 00:20:16.000
Alright, let's get that fucking insurance information.
00:20:16.160 --> 00:20:17.200
Because you gonna run.
00:20:24.480 --> 00:20:28.079
And uh yeah, I didn't like that at all.
00:20:28.160 --> 00:20:30.319
I was like, see, this is why I don't be driving up here.
00:20:31.279 --> 00:20:33.920
The first one wasn't even on the highway, though, it was on the main road.
00:20:34.079 --> 00:20:41.279
I think that's why it traumatized me so much, because I'm I think I try to justify my fear of driving based off of the highway.
00:20:42.079 --> 00:20:43.359
That shit can happen anywhere.
00:20:43.519 --> 00:20:46.880
That shit can happen in a driveway, parked, in a parking lot.
00:20:47.119 --> 00:20:50.079
It can happen anywhere, it don't have to be on the highway.
00:20:50.240 --> 00:20:58.480
The thing about the highway that gets me though is that you're going so motherfucking fast that even if you make a mistake or somebody make a mistake, you going too fast to correct yourself.
00:20:58.640 --> 00:21:02.480
Whatever you hit, it's most likely gonna be fatal, and that's the shit that I don't like.
00:21:02.640 --> 00:21:08.160
Especially because niggas in Florida feel like they could be fast and furious on a fucking highway.
00:21:08.240 --> 00:21:10.960
If the speed limit is 75, why the fuck are you going 102?
00:21:11.359 --> 00:21:12.079
I don't like that.
00:21:12.240 --> 00:21:12.799
I don't like that.
00:21:12.960 --> 00:21:16.720
I will literally stop fucking with somebody based off of the speed they drive me in their car.
00:21:16.880 --> 00:21:20.480
Like, since you don't care about my life, listen, nigga, I just started caring about my life.
00:21:20.559 --> 00:21:22.319
There's no way I'm gonna let you take it from me just like this.
00:21:22.400 --> 00:21:22.799
I can't.
00:21:22.880 --> 00:21:23.359
I can't.
00:21:23.440 --> 00:21:24.160
I'm so sorry.
00:21:24.240 --> 00:21:26.079
We have to part ways forever.
00:21:27.759 --> 00:21:30.319
But I can't, I can't, I'm so sorry.
00:21:30.559 --> 00:21:34.880
Um, also, I really hope this audio isn't fucked up.
00:21:35.200 --> 00:21:36.160
I really hope it's not.
00:21:36.240 --> 00:21:37.440
I really hope you guys can hear me well.
00:21:37.599 --> 00:21:39.039
I hope you guys can see me well.
00:21:39.200 --> 00:21:43.200
I have to put like the settings on the camera to make it focus.
00:21:43.440 --> 00:21:51.119
So if y'all can't see my face that well in the video when I upload it on YouTube, just just rock with your girl for a couple couple episodes until I get it right.
00:21:51.200 --> 00:21:55.119
Because I don't have Elijah no more, even though I was just hanging out with him a couple days ago.
00:21:55.200 --> 00:21:57.279
But he's not my editor no more, so it's just me, bitch.
00:21:57.519 --> 00:21:59.519
Like, he says, You're not paying me enough.
00:21:59.599 --> 00:22:01.920
I said, Okay, you're right.
00:22:02.319 --> 00:22:03.039
I got it.
00:22:03.279 --> 00:22:05.680
He taught me a little bit, and I say, okay, I'm gonna do it.
00:22:06.960 --> 00:22:10.799
Hence why there's no been no episode, and you know, I've been saying four months.
00:22:10.880 --> 00:22:11.759
Has it been six?
00:22:24.799 --> 00:22:25.519
Damn.
00:22:26.880 --> 00:22:38.000
Anyway, I also want to talk to you guys about something that I've been feeling like an asshole about, and I just wanna get you guys' opinion on it.
00:22:38.319 --> 00:22:48.079
So I've had a little friend group for the couple a past couple months now, and this friend group is like slowly dissipating.
00:22:48.160 --> 00:22:51.039
Because I'm pretty sure one of the girls in this friend group is a psychopath, right?
00:22:51.119 --> 00:22:58.480
And she kind of even not even in the friend group anymore, based off of her own choices and decisions.
00:22:58.720 --> 00:23:02.400
Um, and I'll tell you guys more about that later.
00:23:02.559 --> 00:23:22.559
I want to jump right into how I would I didn't know if I was an asshole or not, because a lot of stuff pissed me off, and I know that half of the stuff that pissed me off is like really specific to me and my triggers, you know what I'm saying?
00:23:22.880 --> 00:23:28.079
And based off of a lot of stuff that I had to overcome on my own.
00:23:29.279 --> 00:23:40.559
So things that people do piss me off when I can't see that in them, and I know that's fucked up and shallow and disrespectful and selfish, but I I'm only human.
00:23:41.519 --> 00:23:48.799
So, you guys know I work at a uh vet uh vet hospital, and there's a whole bunch of type of people that come in there.
00:23:48.960 --> 00:23:53.359
So basically, there's these two girls that are my friends, right?
00:23:53.519 --> 00:24:00.079
One not so much, but one of them definitely is, and I'm not being catty or shady or messy, I promise.
00:24:00.160 --> 00:24:05.839
Like, I'm gonna give y'all the peas and carrots, just not in this episode, because I want it to be short, and I got shit to do.
00:24:06.000 --> 00:24:11.359
Um, so one of the girls in in this scenario, real tight, love her down.
00:24:12.400 --> 00:24:17.440
The second girl used to, but she didn't like ostracize herself, can't stress it enough.
00:24:17.680 --> 00:24:25.119
So we had like a crackhead come in, two crackheads, and they their dog had got shot in the jaw.
00:24:26.400 --> 00:24:31.599
Now, it was a domestic violence case because the man who shot the dog was trying to shoot his wife.
00:24:31.759 --> 00:24:38.000
Um, dog jumped in defense, dog got shot in the chin, in the jaw, bullet lodged in it, right?
00:24:38.160 --> 00:24:39.680
She was like, Alright, we can take the bullet out.
00:24:39.759 --> 00:24:43.039
Mind you, dog come in, dog don't know you don't even know it got shot.
00:24:43.119 --> 00:24:44.960
This is the happiest fucking dog I've ever seen in my life.
00:24:45.039 --> 00:24:47.839
I mean, tail wagging, trying to kiss everybody with blood in his mouth.
00:24:47.920 --> 00:24:50.160
We like, please, no, baby, please, please, love you down.
00:24:50.240 --> 00:24:51.039
Very cute pity.
00:24:51.279 --> 00:24:51.759
Cannot.
00:24:51.920 --> 00:24:54.079
Okay, very loyal, very happy dog.
00:24:54.559 --> 00:24:56.240
No pain, no nothing.
00:24:56.559 --> 00:24:58.079
Best dog to work on.
00:24:58.400 --> 00:25:00.880
So the receptionist is out there.
00:25:01.039 --> 00:25:03.519
The receptionist is my homegirl in this scenario.
00:25:03.839 --> 00:25:04.319
Scenario.
00:25:04.400 --> 00:25:05.680
Like this shit didn't really happen.
00:25:05.839 --> 00:25:10.400
But the receptionist that's handling the crackheads is my homegirl, the one that I'm still tight with.
00:25:11.680 --> 00:25:13.200
Now I'm not gonna lie.
00:25:13.440 --> 00:25:18.720
We're gonna call her uh we're gonna call her tree.
00:25:19.599 --> 00:25:21.359
No, that's disrespectful to what I'm about to say.
00:25:21.440 --> 00:25:22.480
Actually, we're not gonna call her tree.
00:25:22.559 --> 00:25:23.920
We gonna call her, we're gonna call her D.
00:25:24.160 --> 00:25:25.519
That's even better.
00:25:26.000 --> 00:25:33.920
D is a very attractive, bigger, like six-foot woman, okay?
00:25:34.079 --> 00:25:39.759
Big girl, not ugly in the slightest, very, very attractive, okay?
00:25:40.000 --> 00:25:41.200
Very attractive.
00:25:41.519 --> 00:25:43.279
She knows this, everybody knows it.
00:25:43.440 --> 00:25:47.200
She gets called attractive on a regular basis, okay?
00:25:47.440 --> 00:25:50.240
Very, very, very, very nice looking woman, okay.
00:25:50.480 --> 00:25:57.200
Now, the other girl who used to be in the friend group, who is now not, also very attractive, right?
00:25:57.359 --> 00:25:58.559
Nice body banging.
00:25:58.640 --> 00:26:00.880
That's one of the first things anybody ever told her.
00:26:01.119 --> 00:26:04.240
Nice, small waist, big ass, badass.
00:26:04.319 --> 00:26:05.039
You know what I'm saying?
00:26:05.119 --> 00:26:05.599
Just nice.
00:26:05.839 --> 00:26:07.599
Hazel eyes, beautiful girl, right?
00:26:07.759 --> 00:26:11.680
These two are probably the most beautiful bitches I've ever seen in my life, or a couple of them, one of them.
00:26:12.400 --> 00:26:19.440
So the crackhead, being a crackhead, is just up at the front, rambling, just saying shit.
00:26:19.759 --> 00:26:26.559
And um, she tells D, Oh, you're you're you're as big as Hulk Hogan.
00:26:26.799 --> 00:26:29.200
I ain't never seen a woman a woman as big as you.
00:26:29.440 --> 00:26:30.640
God damn you big.
00:26:30.880 --> 00:26:33.359
Let me take a picture with you so I can show my husband when I get home.
00:26:33.440 --> 00:26:34.319
Just digging at her, right?
00:26:34.400 --> 00:26:35.839
Calling her big, calling her shit, right?
00:26:35.920 --> 00:26:39.920
But she a crackhead and she ain't got no teeth and her life bad, and her dog got a bullet in his jaw, right?
00:26:40.160 --> 00:26:47.119
So then Home Girl, other girl comes out, the one that you know I'm not as close with no more, and she's like, Jesus Christ, your hips are wide.
00:26:47.200 --> 00:26:48.000
What y'all eating in here?
00:26:48.079 --> 00:26:48.559
You know what I'm saying?
00:26:48.640 --> 00:26:51.599
I mean, just literally just saying the most irrelevant, stupid shit.
00:26:51.920 --> 00:27:01.359
D, big, big stallion, start getting mad, like genuinely mad, and start crying.
00:27:01.680 --> 00:27:07.839
The other one, like, walk out the hospital crying, go to her car, like, I just can't, I just need a break.
00:27:08.640 --> 00:27:18.160
And I was like, This is where I started to feel like an asshole because I was like, Why are y'all crying?
00:27:21.200 --> 00:27:22.079
What's going on?
00:27:22.240 --> 00:27:33.039
And I get it, like I get that like people touching on your insecurities is crazy, but it's just like I get it, I really do.
00:27:33.279 --> 00:27:37.519
Because you know, you don't know when you finna be triggered.
00:27:37.599 --> 00:27:46.000
So I don't wanna, I will I don't wanna seem obtuse and I don't wanna seem closed-minded, but it's just like this bitch don't have no teeth in her mouth, she don't even have the money to pay the exam fee.
00:27:46.319 --> 00:27:48.559
We see what type of situation she in.
00:27:48.880 --> 00:27:55.279
How could you ever let a bitch of this stature, you know what I'm saying?
00:27:55.440 --> 00:27:57.920
Move what you got going on inside of you, you know what I'm saying?
00:27:58.000 --> 00:28:00.079
Regardless of what your insecurities are.
00:28:00.640 --> 00:28:02.480
You gonna let that tap into them?
00:28:02.880 --> 00:28:08.079
Now, mind you, every single day, these bitches get called big and beautiful.
00:28:08.160 --> 00:28:08.880
And I know that don't mind.
00:28:08.960 --> 00:28:10.720
I told y'all plenty of times people call me attractive.
00:28:10.799 --> 00:28:13.200
I'm like, uh-uh, I really don't want to hear that shit.
00:28:13.279 --> 00:28:13.759
You know what I'm saying?
00:28:13.839 --> 00:28:15.920
It don't matter because I don't care if you think I'm attractive.
00:28:16.000 --> 00:28:17.759
I I need to think I'm attractive, you know what I'm saying?
00:28:17.839 --> 00:28:19.039
So it's not like you're trying to play me.
00:28:19.119 --> 00:28:19.680
Shut the fuck up.
00:28:19.839 --> 00:28:20.240
You know that?
00:28:20.319 --> 00:28:21.599
Somebody told you that, you know what I'm saying?
00:28:21.680 --> 00:28:25.599
So I get it, but it pissed me off so much because of how big their reactions were.
00:28:25.759 --> 00:28:29.200
If it just pissed them off with the rest of the shift and it was like, yeah, I ain't really fucking with y'all, I don't want to no more.
00:28:29.279 --> 00:28:29.680
You know what I'm saying?
00:28:29.759 --> 00:28:32.880
I'm just waiting to clock out because that pissed me, I that rubbed me the wrong way.
00:28:33.200 --> 00:28:41.359
But to like go outside crying with the theatrics, like, and then I could tell like the other girl wanted somebody to chase after her.
00:28:42.319 --> 00:28:46.160
Which I'm clocked in, like, I'm at work, I got a catheter to place.
00:28:46.319 --> 00:28:50.640
Like, I was like, I don't know.
00:28:51.279 --> 00:28:57.680
And then like there was another tech who was trying to like get me to sympathize with him.
00:28:57.759 --> 00:28:59.759
It's like, yeah, they're not feeling too hot right now.
00:28:59.839 --> 00:29:01.359
That lady really made him insecure.
00:29:01.440 --> 00:29:05.519
And I was like, Y'all do know that lady with a crackhead, right?
00:29:05.599 --> 00:29:09.279
Like, am I the only one who is not paying attention to that to that fact?
00:29:09.759 --> 00:29:18.880
So I guess yeah, I was being an asshole because I wasn't being sympathetic at all, but it's just like I don't know.
00:29:19.279 --> 00:29:20.480
I don't know.
00:29:21.039 --> 00:29:24.480
Like, I get it to be insecure, and then and then again, it it might just be my age.
00:29:24.559 --> 00:29:28.640
For some reason, I don't know why y'all, all the people that I hang out with are like 24 and below.
00:29:28.720 --> 00:29:29.279
I don't know why.
00:29:29.440 --> 00:29:30.640
I don't, I really don't.
00:29:30.799 --> 00:29:31.759
It's not on purpose.
00:29:31.839 --> 00:29:39.279
I promise you it's not, and it's annoying because 24 to 28 is such a big mind change.
00:29:39.440 --> 00:29:40.960
I don't care what nobody says.
00:29:41.119 --> 00:29:47.200
That's why when a grown person is dating a teenager, I don't give a fuck if they're 18 or 19, it's still weird.
00:29:47.759 --> 00:29:58.640
Because let's say from 18 to 22, you know how much mental shit you learn and go through and like develop in those years, that's why he's weird, that's why he's fucked up.
00:29:58.960 --> 00:30:06.640
So I think that's what I'm constantly going through is like this mental age gap with the people that I surround myself with.
00:30:06.720 --> 00:30:13.680
Cause I'm just like, also, back when the three of us were all cool, before that other one like threw herself out.
00:30:14.400 --> 00:30:18.160
I used to literally like ignore their text messages because when I tell y'all, I don't know.
00:30:18.319 --> 00:30:23.440
I I thought the girls were safe, I thought the girls were finally like getting smart with the niggas and stuff like that.
00:30:23.519 --> 00:30:28.000
But I have never met a group of bitches who just go out coochie ready.
00:30:29.599 --> 00:30:34.799
I mean coochie ready, like going out with the intention to find something to crack.
00:30:34.880 --> 00:30:38.400
I said, What?
00:30:39.039 --> 00:30:40.880
I was like, oh we not.
00:30:40.960 --> 00:30:44.400
I thought we were just gonna have a little drinky drink, shake a little ass ass, and like go home home.
00:30:44.480 --> 00:30:48.000
Like I wasn't trying to, I'm not trying to crack nothing.
00:30:48.400 --> 00:30:49.599
Y'all, do you know where I live?
00:30:49.680 --> 00:30:50.559
I live in Florida.
00:30:50.720 --> 00:30:52.319
You know what the next city over is?
00:30:52.480 --> 00:30:52.880
Atlanta.
00:30:52.960 --> 00:30:54.720
Do y'all know what the what Atlanta is?
00:30:54.960 --> 00:30:57.680
The STD capital of the motherfucking world.
00:30:57.759 --> 00:30:59.759
I don't and that might not even be true.
00:30:59.920 --> 00:31:00.640
Guess where it is?
00:31:00.880 --> 00:31:02.079
A fact in this motherfucker.
00:31:02.319 --> 00:31:07.680
I'm not cracking a random person, cracking a random nigga.
00:31:08.240 --> 00:31:15.119
Oh, y'all bitches, y'all bitches off off off some shit that I ain't never even heard of.
00:31:15.200 --> 00:31:17.279
Actually, I said I'm from Virginia Beach.
00:31:18.240 --> 00:31:19.279
They do that out there.
00:31:19.440 --> 00:31:20.000
I don't do that.
00:31:20.079 --> 00:31:20.960
Like, that's what I'm saying.
00:31:21.039 --> 00:31:23.359
Where I'm from at my house in Virginia Beach, we don't do shit like that.
00:31:23.440 --> 00:31:24.319
I'm so sorry.
00:31:24.559 --> 00:31:25.599
I'm so sorry.
00:31:25.839 --> 00:31:27.200
Oh, I'm so sorry.
00:31:27.519 --> 00:31:38.960
Crack a random it's Saturday, so maybe I am an asshole, but like some stuff I just can't I just can't fake the funk with it.
00:31:39.039 --> 00:31:45.440
Like I could tell y'all right now if a crackhead walked up to me and was like, yeah, bitch, you lonely ass bitch, that's why nobody wants you.
00:31:45.519 --> 00:31:47.680
That's why you're gonna be alone for the rest of your life.
00:31:49.119 --> 00:31:51.680
I'd be like, oh damn.
00:31:52.480 --> 00:31:53.200
You know what I'm saying?
00:31:53.279 --> 00:31:54.559
Like I'd be offended.
00:31:55.279 --> 00:32:02.799
But like not really, because ain't you broke and lonely and homeless and you know what I'm saying?
00:32:02.880 --> 00:32:16.160
Like not to be you know, but there's some things that just won't shake my some shit just can't trigger me, no matter how hard they try to dig into my insecurities or push my buttons.
00:32:16.240 --> 00:32:23.519
It's just like the call that you're trying to make this phone call on is dirty as fuck.
00:32:23.599 --> 00:32:24.079
You know what I'm saying?
00:32:24.160 --> 00:32:27.200
Like, not even that the call is coming from inside the house, the phone don't even work.
00:32:27.440 --> 00:32:30.079
The the the call can't even connect, you know what I'm saying?
00:32:30.160 --> 00:32:33.599
Because you are a homeless, dirty crackhead.
00:32:33.680 --> 00:32:34.960
Like, I I don't know.
00:32:35.440 --> 00:32:37.119
And love crackheads, love them to death.
00:32:37.200 --> 00:32:38.559
I got a great story with a crackhead.
00:32:38.640 --> 00:32:44.720
I used to have a hella crackhead friends in in Virginia Beach, and that sounds like I'm being wrong or disrespectful, but I promise I'm not.
00:32:44.799 --> 00:32:50.880
I do, and also I'm a slightly, but I'm I'm being for real.
00:32:50.960 --> 00:32:56.799
I had a lot of good homeless friends in Virginia Beach, but still though, like I don't know.
00:32:57.039 --> 00:33:02.720
Okay, so I guess that just chopped it up to me being an asshole, and I'm okay with that.
00:33:02.960 --> 00:33:12.640
Oh, I also wanted to say that I watched You, Me, and Tuscany on Monday, and I loved it, it was so cute.
00:33:12.720 --> 00:33:14.799
I thought it was absolutely perfect.
00:33:15.119 --> 00:33:23.519
Um, I just love it, and I think okay, so I'm gonna be a little messy.
00:33:23.680 --> 00:33:25.440
I'm gonna be a little messy.
00:33:26.319 --> 00:33:38.640
I'm gonna exercise my rude rights for a minute because I don't like you guys know that I have a really strong opinion about black people, right?
00:33:38.880 --> 00:33:49.440
One of my most I wanna say hard to swallow takes, or one of my most unpopular takes, is that I genuinely don't think biracial people are black.
00:33:49.519 --> 00:33:50.960
I think that they are biracial.
00:33:51.200 --> 00:33:55.920
I don't understand how you can get mad at that because you have a white mom and a white dad, that means you are biracial.
00:33:56.000 --> 00:34:01.359
I don't care what your hair texture looks like, I don't care what your nose looks like, on paper, you are biracial.
00:34:01.519 --> 00:34:07.039
I don't care about the one drop rule because it only proves how racist white people are, not how black an individual is.
00:34:07.200 --> 00:34:08.639
If you don't like that, I'm so sorry.
00:34:08.719 --> 00:34:11.119
That white parent means something to people who don't have it.
00:34:11.280 --> 00:34:12.639
That's just it, right?
00:34:13.039 --> 00:34:17.920
And I think about that in media a lot because I watch a lot of shows, I watch a lot of movies.
00:34:18.960 --> 00:34:30.639
And I've noticed that when the black girl or the black boy that's leading in the movie is biracial, for some reason that gets all everybody's attention.
00:34:30.719 --> 00:34:33.440
It gets all the black people's attention, it gets all the white people's attention.
00:34:33.599 --> 00:34:34.000
Why?
00:34:34.320 --> 00:34:43.679
Because that person is more palatable to look at, and that person is more palatable to white people.
00:34:45.440 --> 00:34:52.000
And I noticed that when you me and Tuscany came out and the drama was coming out.
00:34:52.159 --> 00:35:08.960
You see how the movie about the biracial school shooter is getting so much praise, and oh, it's so classy, and she's a phenomenal actress, and oh, of course, they paired her with him because they're both phenomenal and they're iconic and da-da-da-da.
00:35:10.320 --> 00:35:17.920
But when the black rom-com come out and the leading lady is a fully black woman, it looked corny, it looked cheesy, the marketing not good enough.
00:35:18.000 --> 00:35:18.480
I don't know.
00:35:18.559 --> 00:35:20.800
It uh it just looked like a Hallmark movie.
00:35:20.880 --> 00:35:21.599
I don't know.
00:35:25.840 --> 00:35:44.159
Why uh some of y'all got some real deep internalized racism, and which is cool to have it, but when you have shit like that, you need to know it.
00:35:44.320 --> 00:36:00.159
That's what I mean by I hate stupid shit, because whenever I'm possibly about to be wrong, or whenever it's an a moment where I possibly don't know what the fuck I talk about, I always say, y'all, I don't really know what the fuck, you know what I'm saying?
00:36:00.320 --> 00:36:11.199
So at least I know that when I'm being ignorant or when I'm being an asshole, or when I'm being shallow, I let you guys know because I don't want you to think that I don't know how stupid I fucking sound, right?
00:36:11.760 --> 00:36:28.639
But when you guys are like colorist and you have all this internalized racism and all this bigotry and all this bias towards color, towards hair texture, towards eye color, that be pissing me off.
00:36:29.519 --> 00:36:40.000
Because the main thing black people talk about is how much we're not appreciated in media, but you know who gotta fucking appreciate it when it's out?
00:36:41.440 --> 00:36:41.920
Us.
00:36:43.119 --> 00:36:45.119
We the motherfuckers who gotta appreciate it.
00:36:45.199 --> 00:36:51.920
So if there it's black art being made, black art being sold, and no black art being bought.
00:36:53.519 --> 00:36:55.280
Guess what the fuck is not finna do?
00:36:55.519 --> 00:36:58.079
Bro, guess what the fuck we not finna get it again?
00:36:58.159 --> 00:36:59.760
Guess what the fuck's never gonna happen?
00:36:59.920 --> 00:37:01.360
More black production.
00:37:02.079 --> 00:37:16.000
So this may be a hard take to hear, but y'all gotta get y'all ass up out of them, them biracial uh y'all, y'all gotta, y'all gotta, y'all gotta stop.
00:37:16.960 --> 00:37:37.760
Because to a dark-skinned black woman with two black parents, to a light-skinned black woman with two black parents, when we hear the first black woman to ever, or the first black man to ever, and we look at the black person in this motherfucker biracial, it's just like, yeah, I mean, yeah, but no.
00:37:37.920 --> 00:37:38.559
You know what I'm saying?
00:37:38.800 --> 00:37:39.840
Yeah, but no.
00:37:40.480 --> 00:37:42.800
Yes, but like, mmm.
00:37:43.840 --> 00:37:44.480
Mmm.
00:37:45.039 --> 00:37:45.360
Okay.
00:37:46.159 --> 00:37:47.119
And I didn't like that.
00:37:47.199 --> 00:37:51.519
I didn't like how much I saw that with these two movies coming out so close to each other.
00:37:51.840 --> 00:37:54.000
And even still, like, I'ma take it a step further.
00:37:54.079 --> 00:38:04.719
Y'all really gonna hate this because I know y'all love her down, but it's just like I'm tired of y'all loving people for the same shit y'all hate fully black people for.
00:38:04.880 --> 00:38:09.519
Let me give you an example, and I already know the rhetoric.
00:38:09.679 --> 00:38:25.039
So y'all know I don't get into celebrity drama a lot, but what I do judge people for is how they react to it because I think it's just a good, like, what if or would you rather?
00:38:25.199 --> 00:38:33.039
I think celebrity scenarios are really good to ask people about to hear what type of mindset a person would have in a certain situation, right?
00:38:33.199 --> 00:38:34.960
So that's what I use it for.
00:38:35.280 --> 00:38:51.199
But I remember when Hallie was pregnant and everybody was so irritated with her, for the right reason who her baby daddy was, you know what I'm saying, but just about how private she wanted that pregnancy to be for the right reason, you know what I'm saying?
00:38:51.360 --> 00:38:57.760
She just literally rolled off a Disney movie being a princess, never been pregnant before, you know what I'm saying?
00:38:57.920 --> 00:39:04.000
Like, all this shit happening, all she literally wanted to do was have her baby in private.
00:39:04.400 --> 00:39:07.920
Impossible, cool, with what she was doing at the time.
00:39:08.000 --> 00:39:11.519
She literally had to go on shows, like, had to promote her movie and shit like that.
00:39:11.679 --> 00:39:12.400
Get it.
00:39:13.840 --> 00:39:17.679
The way people was treating her was so crazy.
00:39:17.920 --> 00:39:20.400
The way people was talking about her was so crazy.
00:39:20.559 --> 00:39:23.280
Black women, insane.
00:39:24.320 --> 00:39:28.480
Well, uh all she had to do was tell us she had to tell you shit.
00:39:29.039 --> 00:39:31.440
Call her every name in the book.
00:39:32.079 --> 00:39:39.360
Zendaya probably don't share share shit with nobody, don't say shit to nobody, and what y'all do?
00:39:39.519 --> 00:39:55.599
Oh, she's so classy, oh she's so private, oh Zendaya don't play, oh Zendey don't play that, and it's just like I wish y'all would see how fucking stupid and how racist that look, you know what I'm saying?
00:39:55.679 --> 00:40:09.760
Granted, y'all might not be doing it from a racist standpoint, but it's giving aggression unnecessary aggression towards a black woman and unnecessary sympathy and for the biracial motherfucker, you know what I'm saying?
00:40:10.000 --> 00:40:11.199
I don't understand that.
00:40:11.280 --> 00:40:12.239
I really don't.
00:40:12.559 --> 00:40:21.519
Because if I was the same bitch that was haggling Hallie about her pregnancy, like it was any of my fucking business, like I'm the one who nutted in her.
00:40:21.679 --> 00:40:28.320
Bitch, I need to know when you pregnant when you haven't like if I was that same bitch, I'd have been I'd I'd have hated Zenday.
00:40:28.480 --> 00:40:30.719
This bitch don't tell nobody nothing.
00:40:30.960 --> 00:40:39.360
So it's just like I don't know how y'all can have so much grace and respect for one person and so much disdain, disgust, and and negativity to another person.
00:40:39.440 --> 00:40:41.760
And I know what y'all gonna say, yo, Hallie was lying to us.
00:40:41.840 --> 00:40:43.280
Hallie, yeah, she was.
00:40:43.519 --> 00:40:44.079
You know why?
00:40:44.239 --> 00:40:47.440
Because she won't she won't trying to let nobody know and it won't nobody fucking business.
00:40:47.519 --> 00:40:49.840
She tried to call us anti-black, yeah.
00:40:49.920 --> 00:40:52.400
Cause you're talking about some shit she don't want to hear about.
00:40:56.639 --> 00:40:58.239
You know what I'm saying?
00:40:58.960 --> 00:41:02.719
So it's just like I don't like how I don't like that.
00:41:02.880 --> 00:41:04.159
I just don't like that.
00:41:04.559 --> 00:41:14.800
Like I said, I'm well aware that this is a weird take, but it's it's something that I've seen for so long, and I'm I'm just so I'm weirded out by it.
00:41:15.119 --> 00:41:17.440
But I think y'all should go watch you mean Tuscany.
00:41:17.599 --> 00:41:28.000
I think at the end of the day, you should support fully black rom-coms, comedies, action, anime, cartoon, anything.
00:41:29.119 --> 00:41:46.079
Because if we're gonna complain about being the blueprint, if we're gonna complain about everybody still in our flavor, still in our culture, using us, you know what I'm saying, tokens and shit like that, the least we could do is back that shit up by supporting us when we need it.
00:41:48.000 --> 00:41:49.039
So yeah.
00:41:49.840 --> 00:41:56.239
Oh, they got I hope they didn't rub you guys the wrong way, but it's true.
00:41:56.559 --> 00:41:59.280
Some of y'all are weird when it comes to that, you know what I'm saying?
00:41:59.360 --> 00:42:04.000
And I've been light skinned my whole life, so I've I've been on the receiving end of that shit.
00:42:04.079 --> 00:42:05.679
That's why it pissed me off so much, you know what I'm saying?
00:42:05.760 --> 00:42:08.880
I've had dark-skinned best friends, some people in my family dark skinned, bitch.
00:42:08.960 --> 00:42:10.559
I think I'm dark-skinned in my head.
00:42:10.719 --> 00:42:14.000
So when I see it, it's real specific to me, you know what I'm saying?
00:42:14.079 --> 00:42:19.280
Because I've I've I've heard it done to me, I've seen it with me, you know what I'm saying, and my dark-skinned counterpart.
00:42:19.440 --> 00:42:24.000
So it's just like, I don't care what your intention was, that's what the fuck it sounds like, you know what I'm saying?
00:42:24.159 --> 00:42:28.719
So y'all so quick to judge and be harsh and be negative towards a fully black woman.
00:42:28.800 --> 00:42:33.840
But when a bitch got light eyes and a certain curl pattern and light skin, it's just like, oh well, look at her.
00:42:33.920 --> 00:42:36.079
We would you expect, you know, she's just a baby.
00:42:36.159 --> 00:42:37.840
It's like, no, she fucking died.
00:42:38.079 --> 00:42:39.760
So I don't know.
00:42:40.000 --> 00:42:41.760
I don't want to beat a dead horse.
00:42:42.000 --> 00:42:47.119
So, you guys, it's gonna take me like seven days to edit this video.
00:42:47.280 --> 00:42:47.760
I know it.
00:42:47.840 --> 00:42:48.800
I'm so sorry.
00:42:49.039 --> 00:42:50.239
I'm really sorry.
00:42:50.480 --> 00:42:53.199
Um, so I don't know when this video is gonna be out.
00:42:53.280 --> 00:42:54.800
Hopefully this week.
00:42:55.840 --> 00:43:00.159
Happy 420 if I don't put this episode out before then.
00:43:00.320 --> 00:43:02.079
That's gonna make me want to edit it all tonight.
00:43:02.159 --> 00:43:03.920
Damn it, because I want to do a smoke episode.
00:43:04.079 --> 00:43:06.079
Also, guys, I'm getting back on Patreon.
00:43:06.239 --> 00:43:16.079
I'll let you know maybe two episodes from now, um, what that whole new setup is gonna look like, what to see, and stuff like that.
00:43:16.239 --> 00:43:20.400
So, yeah, I'll see you guys in the next one.
00:43:20.719 --> 00:43:21.360
Bye.
