TIETOJA TÄSTÄ JAKSOSTA
Turnstile fever has officially hit The Rizzuto Show, and we’re kicking off the week with concert anticipation, football Pick ’Em anxiety, questionable sports wagers and an argument about cauliflower gratin that receives significantly more attention than most international affairs.
Riz is heading into Turnstile completely blind while Lern is already fully infected with Turnstile Fever after watching their SNL performance. Unfortunately, there are more pressing matters: the show’s Pick ’Em standings are getting dangerously tight. Lern admits AI helped make her picks, Moon has his predictions locked in, Rafe is cracking open a Keystone Ice, and Riz is enjoying the rare luxury of knowing he’s safe. This is daily comedy operating exactly as intended: sports expertise from people who absolutely should not be managing your retirement portfolio.
Riz also had himself a pretty successful weekend after betting on Mizzou against Florida and using the winnings to help fund a night out. That included dinner before Rafe’s comedy show, where we somehow end up discussing the gastrointestinal consequences of cauliflower gratin. Moon believes Riz skipped one of the greatest bites available. Riz believes he successfully avoided turning a comedy club into a biological incident. Everybody wins.
Rafe recaps a huge weekend of stand-up in St. Charles, complete with packed shows, surprise comics, extremely generous listeners and enough Entenmann’s to establish a small regional distribution center. The generosity also leads to an important Rizz Show public service announcement: homemade food from strangers is a complicated proposition. We love you. We appreciate you. We also have absolutely no idea what your kitchen looks like.
Meanwhile, Lern had herself an aggressively rock-and-roll weekend. After witnessing a longtime radio friend take one of his first tequila shots, she headed to the Family Arena for Quiet Riot, Great White and Sebastian Bach. There were sound problems, glorious hair, a 23-year-old Quiet Riot singer, plenty of Skid Row classics and Sebastian Bach angrily teaching an audience the proper etiquette of returning a Frisbee. Apparently it was NOT Free Frisbee Night. Lern bought one anyway.
Then Riz encounters a gang of middle schoolers casually throwing around F-bombs outside the grocery store and realizes he has crossed an important threshold in life: he briefly considers whether he should tell the youths to watch their language. He doesn't, largely because teenagers are terrifying. The conversation turns into whether kids still fear random adults, whether parents have gone soft and why everybody now thinks twice before doing anything remotely embarrassing in public.
Because somebody is always holding a phone.
The crew digs into the weird modern fear of going viral, where normal people are increasingly hesitant to dance, joke around, show emotion or intervene in awkward situations because one bad angle could turn them into Internet Main Character of the Day. Meanwhile, the people who probably SHOULD fear being recorded appear completely immune to shame. Great system we've built here.
And somehow this daily comedy takes a surprisingly thoughtful turn when the crew talks about those random objects that suddenly remind you how much life has passed. A viral video about a man getting emotional over an old spool of wire leads Moon to share finding a note his dad wrote in 1983 along with family World War II ration books. For approximately four minutes, this becomes a respectable program with genuine human emotions.
Don't worry. We recover.
There’s also Halloween costume fatigue, the eternal problem of having too many Waldos at one party, St. Louis nostalgia, the remains of the old Noah’s Ark restaurant, Rafe receiving homemade meat logs, Riz contributing jokes from the front row of a comedy show and enough side quests to make you forget where this episode started.
Turnstile fever. Sebastian Bach. Sports gambling. Cauliflower gas. Cursing children. Existential nostalgia.
Just another completely reasonable installment of daily comedy from The Rizzuto Show.
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