Drs. Tim & May Hindmarsh | How to Stay Unoffendable, Active, and Married

Tim & May:
00:00:00
Like it, it just takes all this psychic energy like for me it's driving like I just, I, you know, it drives me crazy when people are driving slow in the left lane, or there are cars a piece of crap and they can't go more than 35 miles an hour on their country road and we live in the country. But then you start thinking about it and it's just completely insane. Like, why would you wreck your day? Because somebody has a crappy car. Like, it just doesn't matter. But, you know, we get sucked into this because it's like we give ourselves power or we dilute ourselves into thinking we have power if everything offends us. Whereas, you know, in today's culture, if you're un offendable, that is like being Superman. Like that is a, that's a superpower.

Kristina:
00:00:45
Hey guys, this is Coach K and you're listening to the Making Changes, breaking Barriers podcast, where we talk about you. This is about you, your mind, and your path. So I'm very excited to share today's episode with you guys. This is gonna be a guest episode with actually two of my previous clients, Tim and May Hein Marsh. They are a married couple who live here in. Oregon, both our practicing physicians and yeah, we work together with me as their coach, helping 'em on their health journey, kind of getting their fitness and their nutrition in check, but they are actually also podcast hosts themselves and, uh, have just really, really fun backgrounds. So today's episode is going to dive into things such as why staying fit and healthy is important. For, lifelong health, how to battle back from injuries, how to stay married and for the long term. And also May is going to dig deep a little bit into a past trauma experience that she had. So I did wanna give a little bit of a, just a disclaimer to anyone who's listening, in case that is gonna be a trigger for you. Mai is going to talk about an experience she had with childhood sexual abuse and how that led to bulimia and ex. Anorexia and how she battled that for many years and how it is even something that she, um, has overcome but, you know, still deals with to this day in, in certain ways. So that is gonna be a topic of discussion for today. It's a great conversation and I really hope that you tune in. So a little bit about Tim and May. They are the hosts of the BSS Free MD Podcast. Both are board certified family practice physicians who have led diverse careers in rural medicine. Both have almost 30 years of diverse experience in family practice. Hospital medicine and urgent care as a successfully married couple for 30 plus years. They love to have an honest and real discussion about what makes a relationship work. They discuss work-life balance and the four Fs to success. Faith, family, finances, and fun noted to be a dual physician power couple and faith-based physicians. They have managed to juggle raising kids careers and maintain a balanced marriage along with personal interests and interdependence. In 2021, this was a big year for Tim and May, they ventured into the private practice of medicine helping establish Ridgeway Health, which is a local, private, urgent care clinic. Both have been frontline physicians during the Covid pandemic working almost exclusively in Covid clinics. From 2020 through 2022, and also in 2021, they launched the BSS Free MD podcast. So I'm sure you're gonna enjoy today's conversation. Um, and if you want more of it, go and check out their podcasts. Their episodes are awesome, very informative and also very entertaining. They are passionate and love laughing at their medical experiences, as well as getting into serious discussions on the issues in healthcare today. So let's go ahead and jump into the interview with Tim and May. All right, MEI and Tim, thank you guys for being here with me. I'm so excited to have you guys on the podcast.

Tim & May:
00:03:53
Likewise. Thanks for having us, Christina, after being on our show. Absolutely. This is just great.

Kristina:
00:03:58
Yeah, I had so much fun being on your guys' show. I'm excited for that to, to be released. And so, um, yeah, I figured why not just have you guys on mine and like I said, right before we started the recording, we've never had a hard time figuring out what to talk about for an hour. So I'm sure this will be eventful. But I wanted to start off, you know, I obviously just gave my listeners a little bit about, uh, a bio about you guys, but I wanted to start off by having each of you just talk a little bit about your background, um, you know, from a career standpoint, but also I would love to hear a little bit about your background when it comes to like physical fitness and health as well. Maybe some challenges that you guys have, have had, or even wins that you've had. And then we can definitely dig into that a little bit more as we go.

Tim & May:
00:04:45
Who you wanna start? Sure. I'll, I'll start. I, um, yeah, I, um, we, me and I both grew up in Canada. I grew up in, uh, Saskatoon, the city of, I don't know, it's about 300,000 people now in the prairies. So I always was doing individual sports, water skiing, downhill skiing, which sucked there. I had to travel for eight hours to find actual mountains. And then I got into running when I was 19 years old, and it, it completely changed my life. Um, I would've never got into medical school. It helped me focus, it kept me fit, you know, I lost a little bit of weight, but at that point, that wasn't really an issue. And then fast forward, uh, at the end of residency, I started running more again. And, uh, ended up running 12 marathons, which was great. That, that sort of was my sport, but it was always because I wanted to stay fit and have a reason to stay fit so I could windsurf and ski and all of these other activities. So, and I was bulletproof, which was great. You know, I, I went over the handlebars or trip bikes, I don't know how many times I've crashed. Super hard skiing and nothing ever happened in until it did. And I think a big part of the story, 'cause I was by my, I was almost 50 by the time I had my first by knee surgery. And, um, that is a game changer. And as we get into May's story, it'll be, you know, even more poignant for your, your listeners. The, you have to be willing to start over 'cause stuff is not gonna be the same as it always was. That is a really, really good point. Um, I chafe a little bit when people say, Age is just the number, uh, well, so is net worth. So

Kristina:
00:06:32
But it's meaningful. It's meaningful.

Tim & May:
00:06:34
yes, it's very meaningful. So, uh, being able to adapt as time goes by, um, and having a reason to stay active. I think if I was gonna give any unsolicited advice to somebody, um, because there is kind of, that would be it. 'cause there is this thing that I call the curse of the active person. When you're super active young and you don't get injured, you will get injured. Like, there's a time where you will have injuries where you will have to take time off. That's if you go into activity. Knowing that that's part of the story, it makes it a lot easier to keep going. 'cause we've seen lots of our friends and our kids' parents that were tremendous athletes as younger people. They got some setbacks with life or pregnancies or injuries and they just, just entirely quit. And, and that. Makes us sad actually. Like really makes us sad.

Kristina:
00:07:27
Yeah, and like you said, I mean, when you're active from a young age, you all, you know, I mean, like you mentioned, you're bulletproof until you're not. Right? Like all you know is you're able to just. Keep going, keep going, keep going. Um, you, that doesn't mean you don't fall down at some times, like you said, falling over your handlebars or your bike. That's like my worst nightmare. By the way, I've gotten into road biking recently and I hope that never, I mean, I don't think that's a normal road biking thing to do. That's more of like a mountain biking thing to do. But, um, yeah, my, if I could just never fall off that road bike, I would be so happy. But yeah, you just don't get used to it. And then it's great that you're active. Obviously overall that's a positive thing, but you get to, you know, an older age and at some point you're gonna get injured. And just knowing how to deal with that, a lot of people don't understand. So I, I totally, um, get where you're coming from with that, Tim, and I wanna ask you more about your marathons. Before I get into that though, let, I'm gonna give, uh, may a chance here to, to give her background a little bit.

Tim & May:
00:08:24
Oh, you might not get a chance to ask Tim then if I start talking about my sword, my sorted story. I know, but anyway, I'll keep mine brief and you can pick and choose what to ask me after that. Um, I joke that Tim dragged me into doing most of those crazy extreme sports and activities along with him, and I was the one that was getting injured and hurt, which actually is the truth. Um, mostly because you'd have been such a good skydiver then. I don't know why. I don't know why you said no to that.

Kristina:
00:08:53
Oh, I don't, I I, you've never skydived me. Is

Tim & May:
00:08:55
Yes. No, I have, I've gone, I've, I've didn't get my own license. I've gone tandem, but it was super fun. But I'm like, someone has to keep legs and be after, be able to look after the kids, and I've had so many, I had so many orthopedic injuries at that point that I knew that I was doomed, so I just pulled the plug on it. But

Kristina:
00:09:13
Yeah. I was gonna say that's prob knowing you're kind of knowing what I do know about your background. I think that was maybe a good decision.

Tim & May:
00:09:19
Yeah. Plus, I don't know, you talk, we talk about going over the handlebars and man, I think of us mountain biking and we went to Moab to the slick rock, and I was never afraid to just push the limits. And I was the one, I was going over the handlebars and getting hurt and crashing badly sometimes. No fear going downhill. So, yeah. So let's see. For, for me, um, uh, same thing. You know, I grew up in Canada, um, born and raised in the cold climates, and I, we did a lot of different, I did a lot of different activities growing up. Uh, organized and, and organized. Our family would cross country ski in the lake, and I did my, my mom who mostly raised, my dad was gone all the time growing up, but my mom was a, a total, uh, jock, um, back in the day and she really inspired me to just do whatever you want. She was a. Man, a total tomboy growing up, I guess is the right. I, that's the word we used back then. I was kind of too, but she, she could play hockey and ball. She played with the boys all the time, which was really unusual, you know, growing up in the forties and fifties. Right. So she was a total stud, but I got to try everything I wanted to do as long as I would kind of complete the year. So I did everything from figure skating and swimming and, um, organized sports at school. By the time I was in high school, I really kind of found my niche in a few things, which was, uh, I was a synchronized swimmer. I really liked that and was pretty good and was sort of provincial level and, um, curling in Canada is a big thing. Um, that's a team sport of four. It's really competitive. Um, one of the biggest highlights of mine, it's not very aerobic though. Depends if you're sweeping or not. Yeah, well it depends if you have, if you're smoking an export a at the same time, is

Kristina:
00:11:08
Yeah, there's a night, there's a curling league here in Bend that gets put on during, uh, in the winter. It's totally just like a rec league and co and I have thought about joining it. It could be a fun, you know, you have a couple beers and you do that. We thought it, you

Tim & May:
00:11:21
You should, you should. It's super fun. Yes. That's the, the most fun way to do it anyway. Um, so I was actually, that was something that I was really pretty good at and it was ha hard when we left Canada, actually moved to the US to kind of give that up. But, um, through, I guess I learned, um, to, uh, lift weights and it was always a part of my training in high school fitness and I kind of kept that going throughout my life. But I must say there's a lot of disordered, um, health in along the way. I had anorexia starting in high school. Um, it stemmed from a lot of, a lot of psychological stuff and baggage and things going on, which, you know, we, we could get into later, but, uh, which turned into. Going into college years and then bulimia, and that was like a decade long or more struggle that really impacted, you know, my health obviously in a negative way. I still kept working out. Um, in college years, things changed a little bit. I kept up with swimming. I started to run a little bit. And then when Tim and I got married, he really got me into trying to run more, which I always struggled with and hated. Um, but as years went on, by the time I was 40, I did my first half marathon and I did a few of those. Never anything further than that. Um, and the gym has always been important to me. Lifting weights, weight training with swimming, cycling, biking. Um, then Tim got me trying all kinds of stuff from, you know, summer sports, like water skiing. He taught me how to be a really good downhill skier. So outdoor activities and doing stuff together has always been really important. And I just like a variety of things. Um, So I guess probably by the time, I'm just trying to think when things started kind of going awry with my body physically and getting injured. The first big thing that happened was actually when I was in med school and I was playing girls intramural football. We had a flag football thing, but it ended up being tackle. Uh, and, uh, I got, I got tackled and totally blew out. My a c l had the unhappy triad, uh, a c l lateral collateral or medial meniscal tear, medial collateral ligament tear. It was really bad and painful to the point where actually I, I kind of draw, I say dropped outta med school at that point and, uh, took a year off to try to figure out I was struggling in school, not really liking it and try to rehab my knee. Um, I did get it fixed the year we were, um, our final year of med school. But then, you know, 10 years later my graft wore out. Uh, I was playing tennis. The thing popped a year later. We were. Dirt pi in the sand. I went over the handlebars, got my leg tangled. I tore my other a c l on the, my good leg on the left. Um, and then I discovered that I probably had some cartilage disorder and I ended up seeing a rheumatologist in 2 20 10. Yeah. And got diagnosed with, um, an autoimmune disorder where my cartilage does not like to stick to my body. It's called p I have polyon, ditis probably lupus as as, uh, my rheumatologist thinks now. And so I have tendonitis all the time, especially on the right side of my body. My cartilage doesn't like sticking and I'm always got something going on. And as careful as I might be or as much as I like to push myself, something happens. And so over the years, especially over the last 10 to 15 years, I'm feel like I'm going from one orthopedic injury to the next. Um, and. I had a hip replacement in, um, 2016, which was surprising and devastating, um, for me because I was, I was actually doing a race over in Bend training for that Happy Girls half marathon, and things were going really well. I was in the gym and all of a sudden, you know, my butts hurting and I thought I pulled a muscle. Well, I won't go through the whole story, but it turned out instead of just being a, a labral cartilage tear, um, it turned out that I had such bad degenerative arthritis. I ended up with a hip replacement within that year, and all of a sudden I, you know, running was no longer an option. You can, you can run with a hip replacement when you're young. It's not advised if you want it to last and being 50, I thought, no, I want this thing to last. Well, at that time, you know, pretty much got told that my other hip would need to be redone, and here we are now. It's like, Six years later, I just had my other one done. And it's not recovering fast. I've had a serious elbow issue for the last three years that, and you, you know about that. That's was a golfing injury turned chronic tendon thing that required surgery this spring. Uh, and this last, so this last decade of my life, I feel like I'm just one orthopedic injury to the next. Despite that, you know, I got to, or I try to do what I can because fitness is really important to my mental health and part of my life. And I have to try to work around my injuries and limitations and my autoimmune condition. Um, and anything's possible if you just, you know, are smart and kind of do the right things. And so yeah, I've mourned the loss of running. Um, I've. I forgot to throw in there that I even did a triathlon before I had kids. Um, I love that and wish I had it done more with that, but things, all, things are possible. But yes, as Tim said, things happen to our body. Injuries happen. Some of us have chronic things and you just have to work around it and do the best you can. And sometimes you're starting over all the time like I am so well, and I, and I want to add to that, that I, that when you're used to being active and you depend on it, I'll speak only for myself as much as I have just for like mental clarity and mental health reasons. When you lose that thing, it's really hard to stay away from it. And you have to, like I've learned with running injuries, you, if you don't take the time off now, you're gonna take way more time off later. And that is unbelievably difficult. I mean, it's kind of like going to AA in a bar. I. It turns out poorly. Like you have to put yourself in a situation where it's like, I can't run now. I'm gonna just, I'm gonna figure something else to do. You have to find that other thing. So it's, I really encourage people to do more than, you know, one sport. Like you have to do resistance training, you gotta do cardio, but you gotta mix it up a lot so that when you know when one soldier goes down, you have the next per, you know, the next thing to put in, in line there.

Kristina:
00:18:05
Yeah, for sure. And well thank you both so much for like sharing your backgrounds a little bit and you know, may I feel like there's so many things to unpack there that I want to go into, which we'll see what we get to today. But I was wondering about the triathlon thing. So I was excited when you brought that up that you did one. 'cause I know you said that your son, you know, is, I don't know if he still is, but like was very into the triathlon life at at some point. Um, but I, you know, one thing I'm personally really loving about the triathlon, you know, training for a triathlon relates to what you were talking about Tim, with be, it allows you to have those different disciplines where, you know, even within a four month training plan for a triathlon, if you end up getting some injury, like let's say, uh, you know, a very irritated T F L, front of your hip, uh, running, you may still be able to very much bike and, and swim pain-free without irritating it more, just need to take a month off of running, which obviously isn't the most ideal. Training, but it still allows you to keep going, which I think is really cool and different from training for a marathon, for example, where it's like you get a running injury where you need to be out for a month. Like it's really hard to come back from that, um, in a four month training plan.

Tim & May:
00:19:16
Yeah, no, I, I had a, I had a really bad shin overuse injury like two months before Boston, one year, and I'm just like, this is, you know, I'm trying to cycle enough and it's just impo, like when you're used to running, you know, 18 mile long runs every weekend, like, you know, you have to write, write almost right a century to. Have it be equivalent and it's still not the same,

Kristina:
00:19:38
Yeah. Yeah, I know exactly. Yeah. I have to tell a quick story real quick. So in, uh, 2013 is when I ran my one and only marathon. I, I had just graduated from college, kind of ended my basketball playing careers and was like, what's next? Right? Because I was just so used to being in a training routine. So I was like, why not train for a marathon? I hadn't even ever done like a half marathon before. So anyways, I convinced my dad to also sign up, uh, for it with me. And so it was gonna be in October and we started doing this like four month training plan, and we were maybe like eight weeks out from the marathon. And he got this really bad hamstringing, um, pole of some sort and pretty much sidelined him, like couldn't run. And I think it was the, I think it was maybe six weeks out and then like the week or week and a half before the marathon, he's like, you know what? I'm just gonna try and go out for a couple short runs just to even see how it feels at this point. He wa he wasn't planning to do the marathon anymore, but him and my mom were still gonna come up to Portland and, you know, be there for it or whatever. So he goes on a couple short runs and he's like, you know what? It actually feels okay. So then the marathon day comes along and he's like, you know what, I'm already signed up. I have my registration. I'm just going to, I'm just gonna start out with you. Like, and, you know, maybe run five miles, maybe a little bit more, half marathon, most right? So he comes out, we start running, he, he's feeling good. We get past that five mile mark. We get past the eight mile mark. We get to the half marathon mark and my mom is there to like, cheer us on and, and she's thinking, my dad's going to. You know, step out at that point and be done. And we start running by my mom and I'm like, dad, you know, are you gonna be done? And he's like, no, I'm gonna keep going. And my mom's like, John, like, whatcha doing? You know, don't do it. Don't do it. And anyways, he ended up finishing the whole marathon. I think he was maybe hurting a little bit after, but he did. So probably not advisable, but, um, yeah, just one of those things where, you know, I don't know, you're able to tough it out I guess, but,

Tim & May:
00:21:38
Well, the, the St. John's, well, we've done a bunch of those. Yeah. The St. John's Bridge is, is a, is a very good, uh, discriminator of those who have not trained properly.

Kristina:
00:21:49
Yeah, I have a visual of that bridge. Actually, the hill going up to the bridge is, is bad too. And so I, I start, we start running up the bridge and I can tell my dad's getting a little bit tired, so then I start running backwards thinking, I'm like encouraging. I'm like, let's go dad. And he tells me after, like, that was terrible. He is like, you know, I see that you have this energy, and I'm like, dying, right? But then I think we got to like the middle, the top of the bridge. And uh, and he, he said he had to walk and my goal was I was running slow, but my goal was to not walk. So it was at that point where I actually kept going and he like walked, ran the, the rest of it. Um, but yeah, that bridge is the decider for sure.

Tim & May:
00:22:27
Well, and the worst part is it's downhill after that.

Kristina:
00:22:30
mm-hmm.

Tim & May:
00:22:30
Because it's at about the, what, 18, 19 mile mark, and then you have this six miles of gentle downhill, which just explodes your quads. That that,

Kristina:
00:22:38
your legs are already hurting

Tim & May:
00:22:40
oh man.

Kristina:
00:22:41
of that. But, um, yeah. May I wanna go back to your story a little bit, and if you don't mind, I mean, I even kind of want to go back to Sounds like the high school days, you know, when you were dealing with anorexia and then bulimia and, I kind of wanna get into that if you're willing to, and talk a little bit about, you know, even starting with, with the reflection that you've done now in your adult life, why you think that started and, um, you know, some of the mental challenges you were dealing with that time. And then definitely I want to get into, you know, how, how you, how you got outta that.

Tim & May:
00:23:17
Okay. Here we go. Yeah, I mean we've, we've, we've gone through the details in other podcasts. Yeah. So I, um, was. Uh, sexually abused by a teacher from fourth through sixth grade as a kid. And that was the start of my struggles. I, I really think, um, I'm, you know, working through all this now looking back. So what happened was, um, the way it was, and I was not the only girl that was being abused. This was girls that were being abused by this teacher. Um, and what happened was, my best, one of my best friends, her dad was the superintendent at the school. They lived across the street from us. I kind of blew the whistle and the way it was handled. I think it's also maybe things were different back then back in the seventies, but he came over, talked to my parents. Um, I told my story. This person was. Fired, let go early retirement, whatever you, and was still present in the small community as long as for the rest of my life, growing up there. Um, and my parents never said anything more about it, uh, after that. So there was no counseling, there was no talking about how that made you feel. It was just like, just get on with it. Well, there was also no justice, right? There was, yeah. It was just, which is kind of a big deal. Well, we'll put an end to it by ma making this person like go away from being employed. So, um, after that, uh, gosh, there's a lot of baggage and issues. My, I was so many different things, but as far as the eating disorder, staying on track with that topic, um, then I just was, um, I had bad, I would say, Not relationships. 'cause you know, at the junior high I didn't have a boyfriend. I was always a sort of leery of guys. Didn't know how to relate to men after that. Just because what had happened, my dad was gone a lot, working probably home three months of the year he'd be gone, stretches of seven months as a pilot. So there was this relationship that I had with my mom and my grandma that was very abnormal. And it was my mom would get a lot of her emotional needs just from this, from her mother and me supporting her. So it became, um, very, very abnormal. The fact that I felt all this pressure to perform. I was a smart kid. I was like straight a student, high achiever, you know, the teachers were like, oh, you can do whatever you want. There was this pressure to, um, be perfect. And so I just lost control. Well, I felt like I had no control and the only thing I could control, um, was. What I ate, or the body dysmorphic disorder. Where it really came from was, honestly, I can think back to maybe one boy, one friend that said, I think it was in 11th grade, something about me being fat. I think I had a crush on him and he liked my friend. And at that point it was like, okay, you know, what can I control in my life? And I think that's the gist of it. Having gone through counseling, I spent one summer doing like therapy for the abuse and the eating disorder. And really, as far as unpacking exactly what it was, I mean, it's just a combination of all those things, but that's what happened. And so I just remember, uh, also having and going through a really dark time in 11th grade, um, being really depressed, that, you know, you didn't talk about your feelings, um, starting to, uh, uh, feel suicidal. I remember one time. Wanting to overdose on prescription medicines my mom had and sitting on the bathroom floor with this pill bottle ready to just down the mall and crying. And, um, I didn't, but uh, really, I mean, I didn't take all the pills. I'm surprised you always gotta throw some humor in there. Well, no, I know. It's just like, uh, um, no, I didn't overdose but felt like it. And so I just basically tried to, you know, I would, I go to the pool, I was a lifeguard and I would swim two miles in the morning and like eat barely an anything toast and an apple. And I got this total high off of, um, uh, doing that and it, the whole, sorry, going, sometimes when I talk about this, it's, it puts me right back to that time and place and it's really emotional for me and hard. Um, so I. I, I just look back at that and know how disordered my brain was thinking. I would look in the mirror and really see myself as this huge person and changes go on in your brain when you are obviously deprived of nutrients and when you're psychologically affected like that, where you really see yourself differently. And, um, I can just remember looking in the mirror, getting on the scale, weighing myself, seeing a different person that was really there. Um, and man, just so much pressure that I felt like I could never live up to, um, was a lot of it. So I went off to college and university and there was this pressure to be a doctor that I wasn't sure that I wanted to be. And I hated university the first year. I struggled through that, got good grades, but was really hating it. And, um, the anorexia turned into bulimia at that point. So I. Kept, I was very good at hiding it. I learned all the tricks and things to do where people wouldn't discover me and binging and then vomiting and I kept working out. I would still hit the pool in the gym and burn calories and swim and exhaust myself and go to class. And, um, this became like a life and I was severely depressed. And that played into it, uh, affected my studying and when I got into med school. And then fast forward to when, you know, I talked about tearing my a c l and having that injury happen, playing sports, the, the football. At this point, my bulimia was really outta control and, uh, my depression was outta control. Did anybody know about it? My grades were starting to fail, and yes, I got found. I was about to say, I got found out by a close friend who. It was bulimic herself and she started to notice the patterns, the things, you know, there's little tricks of when you disappear from the table and how you're gone right after eating and the way you eat. And she called me on it and she said, I think you're bulimic. And she said, I am too. And this is a doctor I have, and I think you should see her. I think she'd be helpful. Um, and at first I was kind of balking and then I had like a really low moment where I remember literally, it's like even alcoholics talk about it. I hit my lowest of lows. And remember having my head hanging the toilet at home in my apartment, um, vomiting and just going, God, if you're really there, if you're really real, I can't do this anymore. I need help and whatever. So I went, um, saw this doctor who was, you know, Said, Hey, I think you need some counseling. Um, that's that one summer after you know of college I did. I went into an intensive outpatient therapy program and told my parents, uh, told them that I had bulimia and you know, of course they didn't really know what to say. They were kind of, I think, uncomfortable with the whole thing. But I did the therapy. It was very helpful, eyeopening, and, um, really helped, but it didn't cure things. Um, things would wax and wane. And it wasn't until, oh gosh, I can't remember exact timeline, but probably a year and a half later I started going to church and just questioning, you know, I thought, man, if God's getting me help, maybe there's really God. I started talking to some friends at school that were Christians and started going to church with them. Uh, one day out of the blue. Something weird. This. I call a, a bizarre electrical experience happened and God called me to the front to go say a prayer with some people at church. And I felt like my body was sort of changed and healed. And I asked Jesus into my heart and I'm like, I can't do this life without some guidance and was a tearful mess. And, um, at that point then, you know, Tim and I had becoming, were becoming friends at college and it was really, um, a few, uh, months later when we were talking and he's like, you know, have you ever thought to ask the, the, I'll just say the perpetrator, this person that abused you, like, have you ever thought of, just thought of that or forgiving him for what happened? Um, and I was like, forgive that, you know, experience and. I worked through that. And one day I just remember we prayed together and I was like, you know what? I can't carry this around anymore. I can't carry someone else's bad behavior and sin and let it affect me. I know it was wrong if there's, you know, I'm not condoning it, but it's got power over me that I have to get rid of and I'm gonna just let God take that on and punish that person, however that needs to happen in this world or the next, or karma, whatever you guys, you know, wanna call it. But I believe that that's up to God to punish. And I prayed that, uh, God would deal with it, that I could let go of that because it was just wrecking my life physically, emotionally, mentally. And I'm like, I hope this helps. Well, it wasn't, you know, instant, but within, within, uh, a year and a half, Then we went into residency, um, and I was still struggling with every, being up every third night is not very good, being newly married. Um, I finally had to go on medication and I started on antidepressant because it was a, a struggle and it really helped curve some of the cravings. Uh, we went to church and then all of a sudden one day I said, you know what? I don't have any obsessions going through my head. I have no desire to worry about food. I have no desire to, like, I knew that, I knew at that point I have also forgiven this teacher for what had happened because, um, of his own issues and faults in sin and I didn't carry that baggage anymore. And so it was not a fast, instant thing, but it was a process. But when I knew that, I knew I was healed and over the eating disorder, it was such a release and. For me, I know I, I could remember that moment. And I, I know that a lot of patients and people struggle with it, life lifelong. I mean, I have an aunt that did, but not, but not me. And I think God really healed me. Uh, I think forgiveness for what happened was a huge, the biggest part of that and the stuff, and the pressures from childhood, and I worked all through that, you know, counseling and reading from the way my mom kind of raised me and the pressures. I'm like, yeah, you know, that could have been that way, but I've gotta deal with my life as an adult. I gotta make my own decisions. Um, I can't blame my parents for anything anymore. They did what they, they did the best that they could knowing what the information, you know, and that they had at the time. And they wanted success for me. And so I just released all of that and that's how I was healed. And it's kind of my fun testimony of how I became a Christian really.

Kristina:
00:35:41
Well thank you so much for sharing that, Mae. And when I asked that question, I had no idea that story, you know, and so, um, that was all new to me and I am, you know, as you said, I know that something like that trauma and that experience that you went through is not easy to talk about. And even with everything you, you know, have gone through to heal from that and to forgive, I know that it still can, it can still affect you in ways that maybe you don't even expect sometimes. So I appreciate you, um, sharing that with myself and also my listeners because, you know, I know that there's a lot of other people out there who have, been through, who have been abused or have had some sort of trauma in, um, that it. Affects them kind of lifelong. But one thing that you did talk about, I, I wanna dig into a little bit more. It actually brings up a thought that I've had quite a bit recently when it comes to forgiveness, because I do think that forgiveness is, oh, and, sorry, one thing else I wanted to say is that I'm, I'm sorry that you didn't get justice for that too because Tim, you said that, and I do think that that is huge and can weigh on you a bit too,

Tim & May:
00:36:53
Yeah,

Kristina:
00:36:54
but Regar, yeah. But regarding the forgiveness piece, I, I think forgiveness is huge and I think that it's almost a skill that a lot of people don't have. And it's something you need to, like, work on, but it can benefit you to no end is having the skill to, to forgive, um, other people for their. Their wrongdoings. And so I'm, I'm glad that you were able to go through that process, but I think for me, one thing is sometimes I do feel like I will forgive and I get the benefit of that, but I don't forget. And I feel like there's a difference between forgive and forget, and I'm just curious if that is something that has resonated with you.

Tim & May:
00:37:34
oh, absolutely. I mean, a yes, forgiveness is, is really re relinquishing that, the need to punish, um, and turning that over to someone else, some other entity, whether it's legal system or God or something. But to say, you know what, uh, yeah, you screwed up, but I, hey, I forgive you. Someone else can carry that, that burden and punishment. Um, but it doesn't mean that what they did was you don't, you're not blowing it off. Absolutely not. Would I recommend anyone else go near that person? No. I'm not gonna forget that. I'm not gonna. You know, you're not gonna go back and set yourself up to be, um, in that same situation.

Kristina:
00:38:20
Mm-hmm.

Tim & May:
00:38:21
You wouldn't say, oh, they made a mistake and therefore, um, we'll give you another chance. Um, it depends on the situation, right? Everything's different. Every, every transgression is different. It has to be taken separately, but say smaller things that have come at the past, it, it just doesn't mean that you would set yourself up or put say, friends or family in that situation to get hurt again. Um, you don't be a doormat. But really I think the relinquishing the desire to punish and letting it has so much power over you, spiritually, emotionally, your whole self, that people don't realize how much it does that, and only when you truly forgive and just kind of move on. So much changes in so many aspects of your life. Physically, emotionally, spiritually, and so, but you're right, it's not forgetting. Absolutely not. And it, that person is still, you know, I could say words in a dirt bag, et cetera, and it shouldn't be around other Well, they're all, they're all true. Right? And I, I think that, that people mistake, they, they put the forgiven, the forget together, which I think is ridiculous. Yes.

Kristina:
00:39:34
misconception. Yeah.

Tim & May:
00:39:35
You know, and, and you know, you think of it in a marriage, you know, and I've said this to tons of people that have gone through like horrific traumas in their marriage. I said, look, here's the deal. Marriages are not based on love, they're based on trust. So if, if you absolutely, you know, whatever has happened to you, whether it's an infidelity, whether this person is verbally abusive, whatever the case may be, if you absolutely cannot trust them, then your marriage is over

Kristina:
00:40:02
Mm-hmm.

Tim & May:
00:40:02
because you can love them and you can forgive them. It doesn't mean that they're worthy of your trust, and people confuse that. It's like, well, I could never trust this person. You know, sometimes I think when people say, I could never forgive this person for something, what they're really saying is, I could never trust them again. And that's fine, but you do have to relinquish the desire to punish or they will punish you spiritually until you are dead. Right?

Kristina:
00:40:26
Yep. Yep. It'll have a very long lasting effect on the rest of your life. Um, I was Cora actually, and I just recorded a podcast together for, you know, my podcast. And, and something that I brought up is that early on in our relationship, I, because of past experiences I've had with family and past relationships, I said something to her along the lines of, you know, I just, I want us to make a concerted effort to really respect each other through this relationship. And remember that we might do things, we might both do things that we can forgive each other for, but there might be things or like, but let's not give each other something that we can never forget. Right. I think sometimes that is a misconception that people have, especially the, maybe the stubborn people, people in this world that like, I don't wanna ever forgive them. I, you know, I don't, I don't wanna forgive them, but what they don't realize is that's having a bigger effect on them, you know, as the person who's not gonna forgive. And just because you forgive someone doesn't mean you need to forget. Right. You can still, that person still can be out of your life. Right. They don't need to be a part of your life anymore or whatever. Um, just because you forgive them.

Tim & May:
00:41:34
Exactly. You know, when you harbor that grudge, that hate, that unforgiveness in yourself, 'cause it's in there somewhere in your brain, your heart, um, it keeps doing negative things. Um, you carry that around and you're carrying. Crap around that, that burden, you're taking that on when you don't need to. That's their stuff to carry. And that's just a simple way to say it, but, um, I think people don't realize how freeing it is to when you figure out how to be able to forgive somebody. Um, yeah, I mean, it's, it can change things dramatically. Absolutely. Since we're on this vein, like, just, just the whole, we live in this culture of offense. Oh yes. And it's like everyone is, it's like, you know, me and I talked about this this weekend, you know, this last weekend. It's like everyone's walking around with, with a grenade in each hand, and the pins are pulled and it's like you barely bump them. And, and the grenade is, is exploding in everyone's face. And it's just so, it's just too much. It's just too much work. I. To be offended all the time.

Kristina:
00:42:43
Mm-hmm.

Tim & May:
00:42:44
Like it, it just takes all this psychic energy and you know, like for me it's driving like I just, I, you know, it drives me crazy when people are driving slow in the left lane, or there are cars a piece of crap and they can't go more than 35 miles an hour on their country road and we live in the country. But then you start thinking about it and it's just completely insane. Like, why would you wreck your day? Because somebody has a crappy car. Like, it just doesn't matter. But, you know, we get sucked into this because it's like we give ourselves power or we dilute ourselves into thinking we have power if everything offends us. Whereas, you know, in today's culture, if you're un offendable, that is like being Superman. Like that is a, that's a superpower.

Kristina:
00:43:27
Yeah, and, and like you said, it, it's exhausting. And I also think it's very isolating. I think you live a very isolated, lonely life when you are just worried about what anyone else is doing. And so I think when, like you said, if you can be someone who can walk around life, drive around life or whatever it is, and you know, just understand that everyone is dealing with their own challenges. Like that person who has the crappy car, you know, probably 'cause they can't afford another car, you know? And so everyone's dealing with it. When we can understand that a little bit more and show empathy for more people, I think then it, it just, it only benefits me. It benefits me. I'm less lonely. I'm, I'm less exhausted from worrying so much about that. But Tim, I was gonna ask you, you know, it sounds like you came into the story with may kind of in the. In the middle of of it a little bit. And I'm just kind of curious from your perspective, you know, what it's been like to be a support system for May, and it may, it sounds like, you know, you had that friend who was very, um, important in your journey, who connected you with that doctor too, so obviously she was very important, but I assume Tim was a piece of, you know, a piece of it too.

Tim & May:
00:44:34
Yeah, well, he can share it a second, but I'll say honestly at the beginning it was really tough when we, we got married four days after we graduated medical school. Um, I wasn't completely sort of healed and worked through all of that. We went and did our re internship and residency where we were in different call groups and we're, that means we're in different rotations, so we didn't see each other for the full year except in the, obviously in the hospital or passing by. Every third night you're on call, so you're up for 36 hours and then we would see each other at home, sleeping shifts kind of a thing. And I was still struggling with my depression and really hadn't gotten real, proper medical treatment for that part yet. I thought Tim was my knight in shining armor and would just make it all better. I mean, that was the, I mean, I think in the subconscious part of my mind that I was hoping for that. 'cause I was still working through so many things and I put all this unfair pressure on him, I, I think, to make me happy. And so that when, you know, man, getting through that residency was another story in itself. But when we fir then when we, you know, finished and I started with the career and still was working through the fact that I didn't think I still really liked medicine and I was not happy, um, you know, it took me really rediscovering myself and figuring out it wasn't up to him, um, or anyone else to make me happy but me. And so share what it was like from your side dealing with this bag of problems. No, it's fascinating 'cause she came to me and she's like, you're supposed to make me happy. I thought, she actually asked me and I said, well here's, here's the deal. I'm not gonna sleep with the neighbor and, um, I'm gonna keep working and I'll not, you know, sleep in a different room. I'll, you know, I'll do all the stuff I promised to do, but I never promised. Happy, happy is zero problem. It's not mine.

Kristina:
00:46:29
yep.

Tim & May:
00:46:30
And, and may actually.

Kristina:
00:46:31
from the beginning, you know?

Tim & May:
00:46:33
Yeah. And, and I'm just, and it was fascinating 'cause may read this book and basically he's this book by this old Christian counselor from a million years ago named Larry Krab. He read a book called Finding God, and he said, most people that come to me don't wanna find God. They just want to not feel like crap. And, and it basically, he said, this life is not about being happy. And as soon as Mae realized that, then she was happy. And, you know, we set out like I'm, I'm sorry. Like I, I lose my absolute ever love and mind when people say, I don't really care what my kid does. I just want them happy. I. Really just happy. I mean, Jack Daniels

Kristina:
00:47:11
ways to be happy.

Tim & May:
00:47:12
Yeah. You know, Jack Daniels and, uh, PornHub Prescription makes a lot of people happy. I, I, I'm thinking my kid should aim a little higher than

Kristina:
00:47:21
I was wondering what you were gonna come up with there. I was wondering,

Tim & May:
00:47:24
yeah. I mean, I medic, I, I met a guy in a parking, you know, we, when we used to all cruise around in our hot rods back when I was, you know, 17, 18, and he goes, what are you guys pursuing all this stuff and building all these cars? This is all you need. He's like a, like a, like a box of wine and a like porn subscription, literally this, this like, oh my gosh. And you look at the guy and you go, okay, that's what a 45 year old man looks like. That lives like that. Perfect. I am aiming higher.

Kristina:
00:47:51
Yeah,

Tim & May:
00:47:52
It was just, it's just wild, you know? So, so yeah. Life is not about, life is way more than being happy. Happy's a side effect of living well and, and taking care of yourself and having great relationships and doing. All these things that we understand make a difference to, to the quality of somebody's life. You do those things, you will be happy, you pursue happy, you will be miserable.

Kristina:
00:48:15
Mm-hmm. Yeah. I mean, if we are, just to throw some other words out there, I mean, way better to try and pursue a purpose, right. Versus even happiness. Yeah. That word happiness is not, does not lead people in the right. I, I at least think it doesn't put them in the right mindset. I'll say, um, that's actually gonna make them happy. So I totally, you know, agree with that. So, yeah. It, it sounds like you set that expectation early but I, I assume that, you know, there was still challenging times in those first few years

Tim & May:
00:48:46
Oh yeah. No, I mean, okay. You wanna talk about challenging times? Thanks for pulling that bandaid off. So, so we, uh, we're building a house. We have a 16. 16. I'm looking like such the bad. Well, you're not looking like a bad person at all. Go for it. Here's 16 kidding. 16, like, go ahead. We have a 16 month old Mace's pregnant with our son where our, like, our house is totally destroyed. We're living in this, you know, meager trailer on our property. These guys are literally framing it. I'm a, I'm a two weeks away from us going to Boston for the marathon, and she just looks at me. I'm, I'm literally walking out the door to go to work, and she goes, I don't think I love you anymore.

Kristina:
00:49:28
Wow.

Tim & May:
00:49:28
and I, I literally like lit the, the only, mm-hmm. Yeah. The only thing I could think of, like, I wasn't upset. I mean, I was upset, I was sad, but I wasn't angry. The only thing that went through my head was Tina Turner, which is what's love got to do with it. Like we have way more at stake here than how you feel right now. Like two kids, this, you know, massive expansion of our property, blah, blah, blah. And I just said, okay, I guess we're gonna talk about this later. And I went to work

Kristina:
00:49:57
Yeah.

Tim & May:
00:49:57
because, you know, you're not gonna sit there and try to decipher this. And, you know, it was amazing because I think that there was a tremendous amount of power that, in that and, and courage from Mae's perspective, because most people would bury that. And in, in my opinion, at least in my experience, from what I've seen in other relationships. And they would eat that and they, it would not them until they actually didn't love the person. Whereas when you confront that emotional dissonance, you have a chance to solve the problem, you know? Whereas if you just kept pretending, well then you're living in a pretend relationship and no one wants to do that. So as painful as that is, I would way rather hear that and work through it because it was real and it was where she was. But it was a major step in us getting to where, you know, it's not like we're on autopilot, but it's way easier now at year, going on year 32 than it was at year five. But it, but it was because we were super intentional with those kind of things. Like if it was really that bad and, and, and, and so much of it from me is just practical. It's, I need this from you

Kristina:
00:51:12
Mm-hmm.

Tim & May:
00:51:13
because, and I can't even explain why. But, but if, but that, and having those conversations is just unbelievably powerful for people.

Kristina:
00:51:22
yeah. And ha, I assume at some point after that, you know, incident, you guys had that hard conversation. I'm sure it wasn't just one hard conversation. I'm sure it was many hard conversations, but like you said, Tim, I mean credit to you may for even. Even if it was blurting it out loud or whatever, saying it out loud. Um, because that is something where, you know, Cora says sometimes, like, I don't wanna be the couple where we're seven years in and, and, um, you know, you rearrange the dishwasher wrong and I slam the dishwasher clothes and say, I want a divorce. Right. Because that happens too, when you just aren't willing to have those hard conversations, um, no matter how hard they are. So, okay, well, I'll, I'll stop asking about all the challenging times. I know that they were there and, you

Tim & May:
00:52:05
could, we can, we should be doing a book on that, but you, I mean, because Yeah, we should. But, but, but the fact is, is that, you know, most of this all was compressed in the first five or six years. Yeah. And, and I mean, like, I try to look back over the last 20 years and, you know, the challenges that we faced were just life. Like, you know, stuff happens at work or, you know, you change careers or whatever the case may be, and then you're just there for each other. So that, those, that was totally different. But this idea of you, you know, I mean, there was the, the, the last real confrontation is mae's. Like, dude, you gotta get in better shape. You let yourself go.

Kristina:
00:52:38
Mm-hmm.

Tim & May:
00:52:39
And I'm like, um, guilty. You know, I mean, and that, that's like, there's nothing wrong with that conversation. It's way better than holding that inside. It doesn't mean that you throw a pot at somebody screaming at them that, that they need to change,

Kristina:
00:52:55
Yeah, you have the conversation before it gets to that point. And, and it almost sounds so simple and easy when we're talking about it like this, right? Like, have the conversation before it becomes a blowup. But how many times have we seen other relationships where that doesn't happen, right? They don't have those conversations and instead of having it together, they go off and they tell their friends or their, you know, whoever instead of just talking to the one person who actually matters and, and who having a conversation with can actually change something about what's, you know, going on. So, yes, I think there's so much importance in that. Um, anything else you guys wanted to add to that before I shift gears?

Tim & May:
00:53:35
I would just say, you know, just going back to that, the, the thing about having the conversation is it's, it's not easy. And here we are, two doctors. We had a lot of training and, you know, counseling obviously, we learned how to unpack and talk to patients one-on-one and kind of delve into things. Um, and we've done a lot of marriage counseling classes and read books and, you know, learned how to share, but it's still not easy and you have to develop that as a skill. It's practice like anything else, whether it's like going to the gym or working out or any, anything that you're good at, it just takes practice. And yeah, there's, it took a long time for me to be able to figure out even how I was feeling to share it with him in a non attacking way as well. Shark week instead of, you know, just reacting and being accusatory. And I there, I still suck at that sometimes and just crap comes outta my mouth. I'm like, well that was really hurtful and mean, but it gets better the more you practice it. And I think if you both do that and are willing to listen and you also have a spouse that you can, or a partner that you trust and know has your back no matter what, and it's agreed upon, then it's non. Not non-threatening, but you feel safe enough to be vulnerable, to share that and know, well, I'm gonna be, I gonna figure out my crap. Voice it in a way that they can relate to and understand without being attacking. And then hopefully they reciproc, reciprocally say, okay, you know, I don't, maybe that's hurtful, but let's talk about how we can fix. I mean, there's skills and tactics, but it takes work. And the more you do it Yeah, but the better you get. But there's another really important skill, and the skill is ignore almost everything. Yeah. There you go. So, and, and that's what people forget. Yeah. It's like, yeah, you gotta be open and honest and whatever, but you can't be so completely controlled by your feelings that you have to have a gigantic conversation about, you know, why you don't feel, uh, cherished as a spouse. Because, you know, you put the cups in with the handles facing the wrong direction in, in the, in the dishwasher. Like there's a point. There's a point where you're kind of emotionally incontinent and part and, and it's unhelpful 'cause you really are spraying your emotions on everybody. And there's a point where, you know, especially for a lot of men, they don't wanna share how they feel. There. There is, there is a balance in there where, you know, you, the big stuff has to be dealt with, but a lot of stuff that's just irritating 'cause you're living with another person and regardless of whether you're married to them or not, they're gonna do stuff that's irritating. Most of that you just have to learn to ignore 'cause it doesn't matter.

Kristina:
00:56:08
Yeah, no. It's funny that this is the turn that this has taken, but because, uh, you know, the episode I just released yesterday with Cora was literally all about that. Instead of ignoring it, we were talking about how there's two different kinds of laughter. There's one where Literally something is just funny and you have that like belly laugh about it, right? But the other kind of laughter is just like laughing because you have no other choice, right? You can either be like annoyed or frustrated, or you can just kind of laugh it off. Like, you know, Cora's example was me cleaning a table. She always feels like I just like move the crumbs around instead of clean it. And at this point she's like, I just laugh it off. Like, you know, I could be like super annoyed and frustrated about it, but I just laugh it off, you know? So, yes, I agree, Tim, if we, you know, take everything completely to heart and are so emotional about it, that's, that's not gonna end well either. And yeah, made to your point, as, as much as we can say that all these skills are important within a relationship and do this and do that, the reality is just like with anything else in life that's gonna be fulfilling, it's gonna be fricking hard. Whether it's you're trying to achieve something physically, whether you're trying to just. Be healthy, like be somewhat health, like being somewhat healthy these days is really hard. Like I had a client talk to me the other day and she was basically just saying that like she was frustrated and she was like, you know what Christina, it's just, I'm just kind of sick of it. Like I'm sick of it, sick of having to cook food. I'm sick of having to like think about what I eat. I'm sick of having to like get up before work and get exercise in I'm, and I'm like, I get it. But that's also just like you just described, like what being a healthy human is. You know what I mean? So yes, it's really hard, but life is just kind of hard, you know? Like I know that's maybe not the best thing for a coach to say sometimes, but sometimes I just have to be real and be like, this is the reality.

Tim & May:
00:57:58
Yeah, I think, you know, that kinda stuff is totally the truth. It's the stuff that's hard. I think as you work at it and you get a routine and you get better at it, then it's not hard anymore. And then you're like, oh, that used to be hard. Now it's not an issue anymore because it's part of my life, part of my, you know, whether it's food choices or cooking or working out, um, or. Learning to communicate like we were talking about with someone or letting things go? Yeah, it's hard for a long time. Um, just like doing the school, studying for whatever is hard, and then after a while it gets better. So, um, everything and some things do stay hard for a lifetime. There are some things where, eh, they just, and unfortunately some things don't stay hard for a lifetime.

Kristina:
00:58:45
Oh my gosh, Tim. Well, on that note, on that note on, in case anyone's listening to this and is like, you know, I wanna hear more from these

Tim & May:
00:58:53
pull the pluck.

Kristina:
00:58:54
to, I want you guys to share a little bit about your podcast. And if, you know, my listeners kind of wanna, you know, tune into some of your episodes, what they're gonna expect, what they're gonna get from that,

Tim & May:
00:59:06
Well, they'll get more of the Viagra jokes, that's for sure. Um, well we have three episodes now. We have, uh, Our Thursdays, we drop our interviews that we do with people, which are long formats. Sometimes we do them alone, but usually we have guests, we've had all sorts of different guests. We're our, our genre, if people Care is, tends to center mostly around health, fitness, and medical freedom. So you are your best doctor will try to help guide you into being that, um, away from pharm pharmaceuticals if possible. Um, and then Mondays, Wednesday nights we do a live stream, which is called Cocktails with cocktails where we make a drink and we tell funnier stories. You may have gotten the slight drift with how that goes. Sometimes it goes very well and sometimes it, it is, doesn't go very well off the rails. It goes off the rails. Aw. And yeah, we just like to make fun of it, you know, ourselves. Things that we've done that do Tails episode, we replay it on the podcast on Mondays and, um, The podcast is called BSS Free MD and um, people can just look it up, Google it on most platforms, the Apple, Spotify, and we have a website that they can look at. And we started putting out a newsletter once a week called Truth Serum where we just give some highlights of the episode for the week and then some other just personal photos that we share of doing stuff or something going on and other little tips and tricks. Then we, Wednesdays we have a 10 minute episode called Truth Oh Yes. Truth Bomb. Which we try to get, it's a bit more of on the philosophical side, like, you know, how how we, how we think take it or leave it. We did, you know, we did one on um, what was the first one on courage? It was on courage and then I did one which absolutely flips me out 'cause it's so hot outside on heat versus hydration and how important it's for people to avoid heat exhaustion. 'cause that will kill you way faster than almost anything else when you're active outside.

Kristina:
01:00:59
I'm gonna read that one. I mean, I'm gonna listen to that one. That sounds interesting.

Tim & May:
01:01:02
everyone centers around hydration. Well, hydration won't, dehydration from activity won't kill you. It's impossible. So it'll make you feel crummy, but it won't kill you. So, um, unless you have cholera and you're running a marathon, in which case you might die.

Kristina:
01:01:16
Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I'm gonna definitely have to listen to that one and everything that they just mentioned, I'll definitely, um, link in our episode description as well. But before I let you guys know, because I know we are kind of hitting our time here, I wanna do my rapid fire round with you guys since I do this with all of my guests.

Tim & May:
01:01:35
I know it.

Kristina:
01:01:36
I know that you know how this works, may, but, uh, you know, just for the heck of it. So there's gonna be five questions, and the goal is to answer the question, Tim, in one word, to one sentence max. So if you go over, that's okay, but that's the goal. And yeah. So you guys ready?

Tim & May:
01:01:54
Yep. Yeah.

Kristina:
01:01:56
All right. And you guys can take turns or whoever wants to jump in first, you know, go for it. Whatever works. So, question number one is, what is the best advice you've ever received?

Tim & May:
01:02:06
That's easy for me. Um, I was working at a camp, this will be more than one word. I was working at a camp. Uh, the counselor said, or the camp director said, I see you as a leader and I see you running away from it. You need to stop being scared of who you are. So the bottom line is stop being scared of who you are.

Kristina:
01:02:27
Yeah. Awesome.

Tim & May:
01:02:29
Um, I would say it's probably you. For me, it'd be, um, you can, you can do, um, more than you think that you're capable of.

Kristina:
01:02:40
Okay, cool. Number two, what is the worst piece of medical advice out there right now?

Tim & May:
01:02:50
Wow. Uh, pharma fixes all.

Kristina:
01:02:55
Hmm.

Tim & May:
01:02:56
Yeah. I would second that. Like there's a pill for that. That's probably the worst.

Kristina:
01:03:01
Yeah. All right. Number three. What is something that is inspiring you guys right now?

Tim & May:
01:03:08
Hmm. Firing us. Um, I would say listening to other, um, people that are having the courage to speak up on other podcasts, been listening to a lot of podcasts and people that are just speaking up and sharing.

Kristina:
01:03:27
That is very inspiring. I totally agree with that.

Tim & May:
01:03:29
That's, I agree.

Kristina:
01:03:31
Yeah. All right. Um, number four. What is one thing that you're looking forward to with the remainder of the summer?

Tim & May:
01:03:41
Uh, for us exploring more of Oregon outside. Yep.

Kristina:
01:03:47
Cool. Yep. All right. And then number five, with your podcast, is there a topic or person that you're interviewing that is coming up that you're very excited to either release or record if you haven't done it yet?

Tim & May:
01:04:03
Yeah, there's there, I mean, there's, there's several. Uh, but we are, we're inter, we have no idea how this is gonna go. We have an interview with a Christian author, Brent Hanssen, who wrote the book Un Offend, which is just a tremendous book, and he mocks himself, virt, like there's a chapter in the book called Everyone's an Idiot, except me. That gives you a tone of the book. So we are interviewing him this week, and that'll be out, we think. We're not sure when, uh, probably in the next three or four weeks. So that I'm totally looking forward to Yeah,

Kristina:
01:04:32
cool.

Tim & May:
01:04:33
Agreed.

Kristina:
01:04:34
that sounds, that's, you've read that you've read that book. Yeah.

Tim & May:
01:04:37
to be un offendable. It's amazing.

Kristina:
01:04:39
Yeah. Okay, cool. Well, thank you both so much for being on the podcast. This was a ton of fun as I, I knew it would be. We came into this with virtually no plan, and it turned out, I think, even better than I would've imagined. So, um, I really appreciate your guys' time and I'm excited to release this out to the world and, um, and yeah, just thank you so much for being on.

Tim & May:
01:05:01
Thank, thank you. We, we loved it. Yeah. Thanks Christina. It's been, um, an honor to be on your show and, uh, I love yours. Love listening to your episode. So thanks again for having us.

Kristina:
01:05:11
Aw, thank you. I appreciate it. And yeah, this was awesome. So thanks again.