ÜBER DIESE EPISODE
Last episode we named the gaps, the things nobody ever taught you. This one is about what happens after you notice a gap: the shame loop that convinces you to stop asking, and why curiosity, not confidence, is actually the way out. IT STARTS WITH EMBARRASSMENT, NOT A FLAW Not knowing something everyone else seems to know isn't a character defect. It's just a gap. But the moment of realizing it usually comes with a flash of embarrassment that sets the whole loop in motion. THE FOUR-STEP SHAME LOOP You don't know something. You get embarrassed. You stop asking. And because you stopped asking, you now know even less than before, so the gap grows instead of closing. WHY "JUST BE CONFIDENT" IS BAD ADVICE Putting on a brave face doesn't close a knowledge gap, it just buries it deeper and makes it harder to admit later. Confidence as a mask tamps down the curiosity that would have actually solved the problem. CURIOSITY WORKS DIFFERENTLY THAN CONFIDENCE Confidence tries to convince yourself you already know. Curiosity just wants an answer. Genuine curiosity also tends to disarm the judgment you're bracing for, most people are relieved when someone else admits the same gap. FINDING YOUR PEOPLE Jill talks about finding a friend who'd also grown up without a lot of parental attention, and how figuring things out together, from Roth IRAs to grocery store cleaning products, turned into real progress instead of more shame. EVERYTHING IS FIGUREOUTABLE The move isn't a big confessional speech about your childhood. It's just getting the question out of your mouth, one small step at a time, starting exactly where you are. Pick one thing you've been avoiding asking about. That's this week's step. If this hit home, or if you broke out of a shame loop of your own, I'd love to hear about it. Email me at northwoodsjill@fastmail.com, or find everything at jillfromthenorthwoods.com.
Jill’s Links
https://jillfromthenorthwoods.com/ - Find my podcasts, videos, downloads and ways to contact me
https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod
https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps
Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com
By choosing to watch this video or listen to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are doing so of your own free will. The content shared here reflects personal experiences and opinions and is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only. I am not a licensed therapist, life coach, or mental health professional. Any habits, strategies, or suggestions offered should not be considered a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or counseling advice. Results vary — small steps look different for everyone. You are solely responsible for any decisions or actions you take based on this content.
