Peeling Back the Layers

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What's up everybody.
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Welcome to the successful degenerate podcast.
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I'm the host, brandon Caldwell, for those of you that don't know me, and I'm just incredibly grateful to everyone tuning in to listen Music playing.
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What's up everybody.
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Thanks again for tuning in for the successful degenerate.
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Be sure to subscribe, follow, rate and review on Apple Podcast or your preferred podcast platform Really helps us reach as large of an audience as we possibly can.
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We're really trying to change some lives here at TSD and your support is just so, so, so incredibly appreciated.
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You'll find us there.
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Share with your friends, share out the page.
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Let's see how many people we can reach with this thing.
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Let's really see if we can do some good with this.
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Anyways, guys, last episode we left off at the age of 16 at Dad's house, with Andrew having a car and the fact that we're now going over to Dad's less and less.
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Well, today we're going to touch on Mom's house.
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I know that we touched on this a little bit before, but I really feel like there was some important topics that just were just brushed over or missed.
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Again, guys, this is my very first podcast.
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I'm just learning how to do this stuff.
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I know I've got a lot of improvement here and I just hope that you'll be patient with me as we continue to grow the podcast and just get better and better and better with every episode.
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So real quick, I need to give a quick shout out At above ground, my buddy Eric.
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He's silently in the background putting this all together for me.
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I cannot tell you how much or how big of an impact Eric has on this show.
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Eric and I go way back, so I met Eric back in high school through a mutual friend and I tell you what I've been following Eric since then.
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Right now my buddy Eric he's got at above ground media and I'm telling you what he is doing some amazing work over there.
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If you're ever interested in getting into this podcast media game, give him a shout.
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He'll really point you in the right direction.
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Anyways, guys, while we're touching on the story first, I know that I kind of brushed on this on the very first episode, but why I feel like it's important to touch on the story first is I feel like we need to do some qualifying right as we go in and start advocating and really get into the advocacy work behind the successful degenerate.
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I want people to understand that they have a reference point, that I may have been through similar things that they have.
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I want to be able to connect with people on that level.
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I feel like by being vulnerable, by sharing these stories with you, we will be able to better connect with people in the future, and I truly do feel that inside Again, it is absolutely, massively uncomfortable at times for me to share these stories with you.
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I'm not going to lie, it does take some out of me and, but you know we're plugging along and I tell you what every episode I do, I feel better and better and better afterwards.
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So you know, as I help other people, honestly, guys, it's really helping me out too, and I just thank you guys for tuning in for that, because you know, the fact that people are even interested in some of this stuff is just it's mind blowing to me, just completely mind blowing.
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So again, guys, today's episode we're going to be touching on mom's house.
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You know I did feel the need to dig a little bit further there.
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There wasn't much said on the home front other than you know that things were really good and they really were.
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Dad's house or, I'm sorry, mom's house was great, dad's house terrible experience, just an awful, awful experience.
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But really I mean to really get into today, today's episode.
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Guys, I really want to start with my sister.
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My sister is Megan.
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My sister was born July 24th 1995.
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And she is a absolute blessing in my life.
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So I don't want to get too far into Megan's story because I definitely want to have Megan on here, give her a chance to share her side of things, right.
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But I will give you this background Megan is a strong, resilient, incredibly intelligent young woman who went through some inner struggles herself.
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My sister is, she is gay, she has always been gay and we love Megan to death.
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And so there was a lot of self discovery that Megan went through as a young kid and into her early adolescent years.
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That you know impacted her significantly, right, therefore causing her to have her own slight battle with with with drugs and addiction there early on.
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But I don't want to to go too far into.
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I want to.
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I want Megan to be able to share that aspect of her life if she's comfortable.
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But I definitely want to have Megan on at some point to share her perspective on how no-transcript wrongdoings in my story affected her throughout those years as well, and I think it's important to give her the opportunity to do so.
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But from here, guys, I want to get into a couple of things that were brushed over, and I think the first and most important one is Brian.
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So Brian is Megan's biological father.
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Brian was my stepfather, remember from the years of basically the age of six, all the way through.
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The divorce was finalized at the age of 15, I believe I was in junior high school at the time but Brian is someone that I absolutely considered a father figure growing up.
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He was my baseball coach, taught me how to ride a bike.
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We had season tickets to the Cardinals games.
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We would go every Sunday that they were, that they were in town and we would tailgate ahead of time and it was just a blast and Brian was such a good dad and it taught me a lot of discipline.
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But he taught me, you know, taught me a lot of a lot about how to you know do cool, cool boy stuff, like like fish camp again.
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Ride a bike, you know, get dirty, just do the just do boy stuff right.
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My, my, my.
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My biological father was never there for stuff like that and I just cannot thank Brian enough for being there during those years to be able to have that impression on me that he did.
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But later on and I think really I want to tie this story up to the point where, you know, we left off with dad on the last episode, so basically the age of Andrew being 16, I'm somewhere in the age of 1415 at the time.
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But I think that from there the stories really merge and, you know, stay tuned to the end of the episode to really see where we kind of take things from there.
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But you know, man, brian was a great father, just an awful, terrible, terrible husband.
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I mean just my mom tried her best.
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You know there was a lot of, you know, arguing and fighting at times From away from from us kids for the most part.
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I mean there was some things that we saw for sure.
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But you know, nobody's perfect, right, nobody's perfect.
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And you know, brian, again, being a great dad, just fell completely short on the on the husband front.
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So it was difficult.
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Later on it was discovered that Brian had cheated on my mom.
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Brian had cheated at with another co-worker of theirs by the way, brian and my mom worked for the same company at the time and although they didn't work necessarily in the same office or directly together, brian was the VP of IT.
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So if there was anything that was IT related that went wrong at the branch that my mom worked at, you know Brian would be called out.
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So you know there's that whole dynamic as well, right, which is, you know, a whole another set of problems.
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You know, during, during that time period.
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But essentially, brian had cheated, discovered that he was cheated and mom decided to give him the boot.
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So separation took place.
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Brian moved literally across the school into these apartments.
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They were pink at the time, they were God awful ugly, but that's where he moved you to be close to home, literally, literally maybe a half mile from the house.
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So that way, you know, he could still see Megan and us boys, and you know be close by for those types of activities.
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Well, brian had done well enough during a, you know, six to eight month time period of the separation to be invited back into the house.
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Mom wanted to give him another chance, lucky him.
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So, as Brian's moving back in, you know things are resuming back to normal.
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You know, during, during the separation, as far as you know us boys and Megan, you know we still saw Brian periodically.
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Brian was still actively involved in our sporting activities.
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You know none of that really had stopped right.
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But you know, brian moved back in and the fighting wasn't really going away between him and my mom.
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In fact, it was getting significantly worse and over a period of time, you know it.
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Just, it just got to be too, too tough.
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And I believe and I need to get mom on to confirm these points, but I believe what had occurred was it was discovered that Brian's wages were now gonna be garnished.
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Essentially, a woman was coming after Brian for child support.
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I said it yes, child support.
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When Brian cheated, he got this other woman pregnant.
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Okay, that's what he did.
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He did not take ownership of this child.
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He, to my knowledge, to this day still does not know that young lady, has never met her, does not take an actor of role as a father in her life by any means, I believe, owes a significant portion of child support in alimony that are, you know, are quartered or quartered, ordered to be paid back.
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But that's what occurred and obviously this was the last straw for mom.
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Brian, get the boot, get out of here, you're gone.
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No more, no more chances.
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The next thing that it showed me was what heartbreak looks like Having to go through that experience, watching your mother hurt, crying, heartbroken, distressed, feeling alone, not sure where to go from here, but having three young children that she's still responsible for raising, not to mention a full-time job in a career that's just exploding.
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At this point, so to say, mom was overwhelmed.
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That's an understatement, right, but life goes on, and what it taught me is in the face of adversity, what are you going to do to change things?
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Are you going to sit there in pity party or are you going to sit there and make the decision to take a different path?
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And that's the decision mom made, because she had to.
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There was no choice.
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Mom did not have that choice.
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So what did mom do?
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She picked herself back up.
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She got back out there, she went to work every day, continued to earn a living, continued to support us boys, and she prospered.
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Not only did mom prosper, but all of her hard work was really, really paying off.
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At this point, what did mom do after the divorce was finalized?
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To reward herself, she bought herself a brand new car.
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Mom had never done that before, but she deserved it, so she did it.
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The next thing is she did.
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She started investing in the house, she started remodeling everything, making improvements around the home, doing just a lot of things that she would have never been able to do before, and she dumped all of her energy into this and refocused herself and really, really showed me what that drive to success really looks like and set that example very early on for me.
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But seeing your mom go through heartbreak was it was terrible, it was awful, to say the least.
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So that's the reason why I wanted to really shift focus back and point this event out, because you know, brian walking out that door for the last time really did not just a lot to me personally, but obviously to my sister, to my brother, to my mother.
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I mean that one night of intimacy cost him an entire family and just left a family completely torn and heartbroken, and that's what cheating can do.
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And so it taught me that very early on and to this day I still carry those values along with me and I show a lot of and I'm very prideful in that right.
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But later on I will go through a very similar experience, almost that my mom did, you know, very early on in my dating career.
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I guess you would call it because the career is still going.
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Oh man, oh man, okay.
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But when Brian actually packed his things and left for the last time, for whatever reason now I'm uncertain of the details here, but I was not supposed to be at the house when this was taking place.
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He was supposed to be there by himself, you know, kind of doing his thing, getting what he needed out of the house and then moving on.
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Well, I happened to be at the house and I was really the only one there, and this is how I remember it and it really stands out in my mind even to this current day.
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I can picture it very, very clearly in my head.
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Brian is packing up his things, I'm on the couch watching TV.
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As Brian is finishing up, I go to grab a slice of pizza from the fridge, just straight from the box.
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You know, just really feeling man, just completely heartbroken, right.
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And I'm watching TV, pretending everything's okay, trying to hold back the tears.
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And you know Brian is done and ready and he's ready to leave.
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And so he comes up to me and he goes hey, hey, sport, you know, I'm sorry.
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And he starts to cry and I cried too.
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And I'm eating frozen pizza and I'm 15.
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And my dad is walking out of my life because pussy was more important than his family and it tears me up to this day that that happened.
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But Brian turns to the door and he lets himself out and I'm there behind him to shut it and lock it and I just, and I'm, I just collapse at this point, like there's no holding it back.
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You know, I'm devastated, devastated, just absolutely devastated, and this will set a tone for some major abandonment issues going forward in my life, scared to, to, to offer love, but but at the same time very willing to give it, and I give it in an abundance and it gets me into a lot of trouble, you know, for the next, you know, man, 10, 12, 15, whatever it is years as far as relationships go it.
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You know, I feel I started to feel that giving was the only way to show love and and I did that to a, to a detriment, let's just put it that way and we're going to get into some of those stories as we get into more of the specifics around some of the relationships in my life.
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But the other significant impact that this has is when my mom starts to date again, you know, she starts to date, a gentleman named Rick, my stepdad, my dad today.
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But it's very difficult at first for Rick.
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I make it very difficult for Rick at first as far as letting him in, accepting him in, as you know, a potential father figure in my life.
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Right, I feel very vulnerable at this point.
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I feel as though allowing another male figure into my life is not going to do me any good.
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I've already had two.
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They both failed.
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What's the point of trying a third time?
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Right, like it was this.
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I might be jumping a little bit ahead here, but I really kind of want to point this out because Brian leaving and the impact in the way that he had left us and the hurt that he had caused prevented me from allowing Rick to have a fair shot.
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And I go on to hurt Rick a lot for several, several, several years, and I justify it, as you know.
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Who cares?
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And I hate to say that today, because Rick and I, the relationship that I have with Rick, today, is very, very different.
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He is my dad.
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I love Rick with all of my heart and I thank Rick for everything that he's ever done for me, which we will get into, you know, as the story progresses, but you know so a lot of things took place during these early years.
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But we're really at this point now where we're caught up, where, you know, andrew and I are 16, megan's around the age of eight.
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At this point, andrew's 16, 17, let's just put it in those years I'm right around the same age.
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We're going to Dad's house less.
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We're living at Mom's house full-time.
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Andrew's driving, andrew's working.
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I'm now entering into these years where I'm about to get my permit and start driving myself.
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I really feel that from here the story merges back into one.
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Then we can get into wait for it.
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From here we're going to go into some high school years.
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We're going to get into some partying how this event really changed the family dynamic at home.
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What took place?
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What changed the difference between having family dinners every night to literally being gone, except for when it was time to come home, to go to bed.
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That's the impact that this had.
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It really changed the dynamic at home.
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We're going to go into some years where I start to do some self-discovery on myself, find out what it is that I want out of life, and then we go from there.
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We're going to dive into the very first experience that I had with opiates at the age of 16 and what effect that had on me and the group dynamic.
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I had a very close knit of friends at this point, a very large group of friends, but very close group of friends that we did everything together.
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We're going to go into some of the dynamic there, but stay tuned guys.
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Stay tuned Again.
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We're just getting going here Again.
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As you can see, these episodes are going to vary in length depending on the topic of choice, but as we get through the story and as the story progresses, we're going to start alternating some interviews in here and then from there we're going to really dive into the advocacy work, looking at how can we get involved in the community, out in the outreach aspect, and really putting some significant impact out there, opening up some doors and some opportunities for some folks that may be currently incarcerated or had just recently been incarcerated.
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I've got a buddy of mine that was just recently released that I did a lot of time with.
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In fact, believe it or not, he only lives about four miles down the road for me, so I hope to bring him on, as he's very early out.
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He did a lot of years.
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He's very young.
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He has basically spent his entire young adulthood, from the age of 18 through now, I believe, he's at the age of 26, pretty much in prison, and so I think it would be cool to kind of get into some of those stories and really kind of see how we can help individuals like my buddy, sam, get back into the community and get active again.
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Because right now I'll tell you what.
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This is another motivation for me to get this podcast going and off the ground, as Sam is currently having a really hard time finding employment just because of his current record and just the lack of opportunity out there, the lack of conversations, the lack of people willing to have those conversations.
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And through the successful degenerate we're going to open those doors.
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I guarantee it.
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I will.
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I will work my ass off to make sure that those opportunities are there for people like Sam and with that, folks.
00:24:50.647 --> 00:24:54.497
Thank you so much again for tuning into the successful degenerate.
00:24:54.497 --> 00:24:57.390
Go give us a like, go give us a follow.
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Subscribe to the podcast on your favorite podcast platform.
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Hey, leave us a rate.
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Review the podcast.
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Share your honest feedback with us guys.
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Give Eric and I some pointers to go on.
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What would you like to see us do next.
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Okay, and with that guys, see you later.
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Degenerates.