Everything’s Perfect Except… We’re Having a Midlife Crisis

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I was unloading 2,200 pounds of cans by myself. I
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had just done my makeup and hair. I was getting
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ready to come out to film a workout. Fucking semi
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pulls up in front of my house at 8.30 in
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the morning and I was like, and the guy, the
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driver was like, I can't help you. I've got a
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really bad hip. And I was like, no, no, there
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was no ramp on this truck. I was like climbing
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into the back of a semi.
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Oh, my God.
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Deconstructing this pallet. Carrying two cases of 24 all the
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way up to the driveway, dropping it by the door,
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back and forth. It took me an hour. And, like,
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everybody's walking by with their dogs because it's 8.30 in
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the morning, and they're.
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All looking at me like, what is happening here? What
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is happening?
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And mind you, it's a semi-truck. But the only thing
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in it is this one pallet. So even though the
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pallet's huge in a semi-truck, it's like, what if it
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was semi-truck?
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Yeah.
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With one pallet of beverages. Like, what is happening?
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When I'm done with all this Cheers. Cheers. Cheers to
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a fun Saturday morning so far.
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I know. We've had, like, such a lovely Saturday. Yeah.
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Over here, I know you're probably listening on a Tuesday.
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If you're like most of our listeners and just waiting
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with bated breath, is that what you're saying?
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Anticipation, yes.
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For the episode to drop. um we went to the
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farmer's market autumn pulled a miley cyrus and bought herself
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some flowers that's right a beautiful bouquet.
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Donald bought us prosciutto and cantaloupe for later because clearly
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he's still in his european era yeah that.
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Was my favorite thing about like on the menus at
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Like all the restaurants in Italy had melon and prosciutto,
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which was cantaloupe was the melon. And it was just
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so good. I was like, this is the kind of
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snack I'm talking about. And prosciutto is one of my
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favorite cured meats. It's so light tasting.
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It's so light, full of fat.
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Yeah, that's why I said tasting.
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I know. They said, do you want the mozzarella or
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the burrata? And you were like, we couldn't possibly. I
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was like, well, damn, I guess we're not having the cheese.
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All right. Well, how late are they open? Let's go back.
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Get some heirlooms.
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Right. Oh, heirloom tomato and buffalo mozzarella. Buffalo mozzarella.
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Okay. Okay.
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You guys, we just ate.
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We're in our big back era. Exactly. We just had
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a really nice breakfast, but apparently, you know... We love
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to eat. We got a coffee. That's right.
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Now we're having a matcha.
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Mine was, if I'm being honest, sugar-free vanilla syrup with
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a little hint of coffee in it. But it was good.
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Speaking of food, last night we also had a nice dinner.
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We went out. And I said to Autumn, I was like,
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And I just, before I continue with this story, I'm
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going to be really honest about the words I use,
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but I want to give a trigger warning because some
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of those words are words like depressed and things like that.
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But I was like, I said to her, I'm not depressed.
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That's how he opened it. And I was like, okay,
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so Houston, we have a problem.
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But sometimes it just feels like life just be lifing
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and it feels exhausting. And it feels like... What's the point?
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And I don't always feel that way, but I wanted
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to talk a little bit more here with you guys
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also about like this real conversation that Autumn and I had,
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because I know that even though it doesn't feel like
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that all the time, I'm sure for a lot of
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people like me, it feels like it sometimes. And it's like,
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this thing is just a big hamster wheel that We're
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going nowhere fast. I didn't ask to get on and
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I'm here. I'm stuck here. And it's a little like, okay,
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the world's falling apart no matter which direction you look.
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Yeah, literally. The world is on fire.
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And everything seems to be a hustle.
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And we're not in our 20s where hustle culture is
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cool anymore.
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Exactly. That's what I was saying. And I think about...
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like all these things. And then it hit me mid-sentence.
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I was like, I think what I might be having
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is a fucking midlife crisis.
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I was thinking it for like the better half of
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our conversation. I was like, so he's going to buy
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a red sports car soon because midlife. Because 40 be
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40-ing or 41.
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Right.
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And I'm into the 40s now.
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I'm about to be 46. I am two months from 41.
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Fucking six years old.
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I got to tell you, I had a year off
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your life. I thought you were about to be 45.
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I just must have missed last year.
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Last year, you took me out for my 45th to
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the scary... And my brain, it switched.
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That was your 44th and this was 45. So we
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could roll with that. We could.
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Listen, at this point, I'm about to, but also... But
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I was saying this to you yesterday and I kind
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of think like, there's always two ways you can look
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at everything, right? So I kind of think it's almost like,
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especially for you and I at this age, it's almost
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like we kind of have to look at this phase
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as like a rebirth because otherwise it looks at like,
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it feels like, did we just start over? Because let's
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be honest, the last decade was pretty frigging amazing. our 30s,
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like my mid-30s into my early 40s, fantastic. Beachbody was
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this amazing journey, made so many friends, traveled the world
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on giant stages, teaching workouts, 20,000 people traveling. Everybody knows
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your name. Everybody's saying hi to you, all these things.
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Like you're on top of the world, making very good money.
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And let's be honest, the last two years, Things have changed. Yeah.
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And it's not just the last two. I would say
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like the last four to five, right? The pandemic hit.
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Things changed. We stopped doing in-person events. When we came back,
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nothing came back as strong. And that life is gone.
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Yeah.
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That lifestyle is– like people might be looking at it like, Autumn,
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you're still living the same life.
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No, no, no.
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I did well and I'm smart with my money.
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Right.
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But– You guys, I can tell.
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I can tell you from firsthand observation, it's not the
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same life.
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She ain't walking into YSL with a pair of red
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bottoms going, let me get those because these hurt. She's like,
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so is Target.
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Exactly. Right.
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And it's hard. It's really hard to be at this
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age and feel like you're starting over. And we're not.
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Let's be honest. We're not starting over. Yeah. But it
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can feel that way.
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We are. And when you have, like for me, different
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but the same. It was really exciting to move to
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Los Angeles, to happen to, just the whole, I've told
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the story, but to happen to meet you and become
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friends and get to be in the programs. And all
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of a sudden, 80 Day Obsession is, It was a
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monster hit. Almost every day, someone recognized me somewhere I was.
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And I was just the background cast person. It felt
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very exciting. And in that too, you connect those experiences
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to a big part of your identity. And so then
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when that starts to change, along with you're getting older
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and a decade, and I blame the pandemic for part
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of this, but it seems like a... like a snap
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of your fingers and it's gone. And all of a
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sudden these things that you connected so closely to your identity,
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aren't there the same or aren't present the same. It
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gives you this sense of like, uh, all kinds of feelings.
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Like I feel like, It's like, I want to make
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a difference. And then I think I said not to
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be cryptic, but there's also graveyards full of people who
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wanted to make a difference and no one knows who
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they are. And it's not, it's, and you made a
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really good point and I'll let you say what your
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point was, but it's not, I really truly for me,
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isn't an ego thing. Like I want people to know
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who I am, but I just want to feel purpose
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in my life. But why don't you say how you responded?
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Cause I thought it was a really good point.
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Yeah. And what I said was, it's not that those
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people didn't make a difference. They definitely made a difference
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in their time, but then time goes on and it
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is the next generation that starts to make a difference.
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So yes, I mean, of course there's people, George Washington,
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Abraham Lincoln, John F. Kennedy, there's people and names and,
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you know, famous actors that, or philanthropists that like will.
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Be known, will be known.
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For generations and forever.
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Yeah.
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And then there are people that made a very real
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impact on somebody who's like, like I was saying with
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your health coaching, like you don't even realize maybe the
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impact because you could help somebody figure something out in
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their life. And then they go on to have an
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impact that maybe you don't even know about. That happened
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with one of my coaching clients, um, God, it's been
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like seven or eight years now. She came to me
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help with her health wellness journey and through it, like,
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and this is, this woman is so unbelievably smart and talented. Like,
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so I take very minimal. Like, this is not me
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taking credit for it, but in working with her, like,
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you know, it started talking about nutrition and fitness and
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things like that. And then we would dive a little
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bit deeper and she was like, you know, I always
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wanted to write a book. And I'm like, well, why
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aren't you? And she kind of, you know, all this
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little bit of fear of like, well, I don't even
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know what I would write about. And I even shared
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with her like, yeah, I've wanted to write, you know,
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a book too, same thing. And we would talk through it.
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And as we talked through it, she came back one
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day and she goes, it came to me last night.
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And I was like, what? She's like, I know what
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I'm going to write the book about. And she goes,
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I already wrote a sample chapter. I'm like, amazing. She
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submitted it to all these publishers. She got one of
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the biggest publishing deals ever.
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Wow.
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Ever for a first time author. They were like fighting. Again,
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she's brilliant and talented. So it makes sense. And she
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already had a phenomenal career. She's a professor at a
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well-known college. She works for the UN helping resolve debates
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and things like that. wrote the first book, New York
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Times bestseller. Like her career was already doing this, but
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then she did this book and it exploded exponentially more. Again,
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I'm like a pin dot on that. Like I was
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just the sounding board. But that changed things for her,
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for her family, all the people that she gets to help.
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The people who read the book?
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Yes. So while they might not know Autumn in this
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very tiny minuscule way helped her work through that.
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You still made an impact.
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I still got to make that impact.
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Yeah, that's really true. And it's a good reminder for
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me and for anyone who's feeling that way. And you
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know what I really like about it too? I was
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just thinking, it is an illusion to believe that we
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are doing any of this alone. And leaning into realizing
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that we're making an impact everywhere we go all the time.
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And people are impacting us. And leaning into that connectedness
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of it, I think actually, for me, it makes me
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think about even more possibilities and how much we can
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help people. Because if you think, okay, I have to
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do this all on my own, you're putting the weight
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of the world on your shoulders and it's not meant
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to be. We're not here alone.
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No, it feels like it.
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Sometimes it does feel like it.
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Sometimes it does feel like that.
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That illusion is actually something a lot of people believe that,
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and that's sad because it's not true. Like loneliness is,
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is one of the, like, especially I can't recall the
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exact study, but I think it was especially in our culture.
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Loneliness is a really serious thing that a lot of
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people are feeling. Yeah. And so thinking about that ripple
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effect and how our actions with other people makes a
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difference and then continues to make a difference makes me
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feel better. Like I am a part of something bigger
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without feeling the pressure of, what's my thing that's huge,
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you know?
247
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Well, and I want to say, I want to say
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two points and they're very different things, but I like,
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let me, so one is even as you, Donald Stamper,
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00:12:13.370 --> 00:12:17.210
background cast in several programs, like, okay, yes, you're given
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00:12:17.250 --> 00:12:19.970
the term background cast, but you're still like, think about
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how many people related to you, how many people did
253
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those workouts and followed through with them because they had
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somebody to relate to, somebody that made them laugh, right?
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00:12:27.850 --> 00:12:31.590
And that changed their health. And so that leaves them around. Or,
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00:12:32.049 --> 00:12:34.029
you know, like with 80 Day Obsession, this is so
257
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like obscure, but you know how many, remember how many
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00:12:36.220 --> 00:12:38.679
women were getting pregnant doing 80 Day Obsession? It was
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00:12:38.700 --> 00:12:40.720
like crazy. They were dropping out of the test group
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like flies because it was like, sorry, I'm pregnant. Sorry,
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I'm pregnant. And we're like, wait, stop everybody getting pregnant.
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You don't know.
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You don't know like that baby and what that baby
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goes on to do. And again, I'm saying this as like,
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almost like the butterfly effect. It's something so minuscule, like,
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in the grand scheme of the world, but we put
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out a fitness program and a nutrition program and people
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related to us and followed through on it and changed
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their health and it changed their life in one way
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or another. And what does like, I don't know, like
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I'm making this up, but maybe a firefighter did our
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00:13:15.169 --> 00:13:17.730
thing and was able to go save somebody. And that
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00:13:17.769 --> 00:13:20.799
person goes on to be, you know, like, so it's
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hard because you don't see the direct effect.
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Right.
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So you almost have to take time to remember, right?
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what you've done. So that was the one, like that
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00:13:29.179 --> 00:13:30.700
was one. And then the other thing I was going
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to say too, was when we were talking about like
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the pandemic and like, it feels like we snapped our
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00:13:34.539 --> 00:13:38.250
fingers in a decade went by. The energy in the
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world when we went into the pandemic, like before it happened.
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I mean, it's so weird. I was back in my
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Instagram stories. I went back into the archives. I was
285
00:13:46.210 --> 00:13:48.259
looking for something. And I went back to that 80
286
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day obsession time. And I was like, God, the energy
287
00:13:51.700 --> 00:13:54.419
was so different. It was so exciting. Like LA was
288
00:13:54.850 --> 00:13:57.149
so exciting. Yeah. There was always something to do. And
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00:13:57.269 --> 00:13:59.529
by the way, we weren't like, it wasn't clubbing. Right.
290
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We were just busy bees.
291
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Yeah.
292
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Like things at the house and the thing and we're
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00:14:03.769 --> 00:14:06.389
here and the, and then we came out of the
294
00:14:06.409 --> 00:14:10.419
pandemic and it was, it's like a wet, blanket that
295
00:14:10.460 --> 00:14:12.330
just never fully dried out.
296
00:14:12.340 --> 00:14:14.779
Yeah, the electricity that was before never turned back on.
297
00:14:14.779 --> 00:14:16.779
It's like there's mold sitting on it. Like the blanket
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00:14:16.820 --> 00:14:19.789
is removed, but it's like stank, moldy, mildewy. And it's like,
299
00:14:19.909 --> 00:14:26.029
everybody's just kind of like, yeah, the electricity isn't back.
300
00:14:26.429 --> 00:14:31.509
Well, and you know, that's so true. Like I told you,
301
00:14:31.529 --> 00:14:34.549
I remember thinking during the pandemic, I wonder if I'll
302
00:14:34.980 --> 00:14:38.039
ever be walk into a bank and be able to
303
00:14:38.159 --> 00:14:40.639
look at the bank teller's face and then not be
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00:14:40.659 --> 00:14:42.639
wearing a mask or for there not to be this
305
00:14:43.980 --> 00:14:48.279
this plastic screen between us and just like yeah thinking
306
00:14:48.340 --> 00:14:53.929
will things ever be normal again and I think really
307
00:14:53.970 --> 00:14:57.230
that hit a lot of people's like that the I
308
00:14:58.669 --> 00:15:01.970
don't know if any living person has been through a
309
00:15:03.070 --> 00:15:06.320
global pandemic like that and I For us to know
310
00:15:06.399 --> 00:15:10.840
or really closely study how much it affects our mental
311
00:15:10.919 --> 00:15:15.350
health and the ripple effect from that, even afterwards and
312
00:15:15.389 --> 00:15:17.149
recovering from it. None of us are the same.
313
00:15:17.649 --> 00:15:17.860
No.
314
00:15:18.080 --> 00:15:21.299
After, from before and experiencing that and after. We had
315
00:15:21.679 --> 00:15:24.340
everything that we expected out of life, things that we
316
00:15:24.379 --> 00:15:27.539
found joy, things that connecting with people was all of
317
00:15:27.559 --> 00:15:30.320
a sudden a bad thing to do. Yeah. And.
318
00:15:30.379 --> 00:15:32.779
You're shamed for it. You're attacked for it. I can't
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00:15:32.820 --> 00:15:35.539
believe you traveled. I can't believe... And obviously, we're not
320
00:15:35.610 --> 00:15:36.679
in that anymore.
321
00:15:37.509 --> 00:15:39.029
But we're recovering from being in it.
322
00:15:39.049 --> 00:15:40.990
And the world just went more negative. I feel like
323
00:15:41.049 --> 00:15:45.269
social media didn't used to be as negative. It was
324
00:15:45.330 --> 00:15:48.500
more fun to be on social media. And obviously all
325
00:15:48.519 --> 00:15:50.860
these damn features they keep releasing. It's like, oh my God,
326
00:15:50.899 --> 00:15:53.600
you gotta be a one person production studio 24 seven.
327
00:15:53.620 --> 00:15:56.139
They literally, I just see the thing where it's like, oh,
328
00:15:56.179 --> 00:15:59.480
the new thing on Instagram is series and they're going
329
00:15:59.500 --> 00:16:01.519
to favor series. And I was like, I'm not my
330
00:16:01.610 --> 00:16:05.250
own TV show. I don't want to be like, so
331
00:16:05.269 --> 00:16:07.570
you're telling me if I don't like produce my own
332
00:16:07.710 --> 00:16:09.769
show every day, like I am not the Truman show
333
00:16:10.210 --> 00:16:11.250
and I don't want to be. Yeah.
334
00:16:11.289 --> 00:16:11.529
Yeah.
335
00:16:12.139 --> 00:16:13.879
I want to share it because it's fun and it's
336
00:16:13.960 --> 00:16:16.220
real and it's authentic. And I don't want to try
337
00:16:16.259 --> 00:16:18.350
to make my life look perfect when it's not. Like
338
00:16:18.399 --> 00:16:21.710
most days I'm sitting at my kitchen table working for
339
00:16:21.710 --> 00:16:25.450
13 hours. That's the real life. And you're not rewarded
340
00:16:25.509 --> 00:16:27.129
for it. You're rewarded if you can make the real
341
00:16:27.169 --> 00:16:30.570
look the coolest, if you can make the graphics the best.
342
00:16:31.269 --> 00:16:33.929
And I'm like, that's, it's, it's interesting what we're seeing.
343
00:16:33.950 --> 00:16:35.960
I don't know if you've, you know, cause again, it
344
00:16:36.000 --> 00:16:38.360
depends on what you get served up, but seeing more
345
00:16:38.379 --> 00:16:41.419
and more people go like, just really want the nostalgia
346
00:16:41.539 --> 00:16:44.500
of like the nineties and the two thousands back. Like
347
00:16:44.639 --> 00:16:48.610
really like longing for it where the generation below, like
348
00:16:48.830 --> 00:16:52.129
below us is actually like, I've seen a bunch of
349
00:16:52.149 --> 00:16:53.669
people saying they're not going to get the next version
350
00:16:53.690 --> 00:16:55.450
of the iPhone, something about a chip in it and
351
00:16:55.509 --> 00:16:57.330
who's making the chip and blah, blah, blah. And they're like,
352
00:16:57.850 --> 00:17:00.450
I'm going back to flip phone. Like I'm over it.
353
00:17:00.450 --> 00:17:03.970
Like they like, people are so done. Yeah. I saw
354
00:17:04.029 --> 00:17:05.450
my space might be coming back.
355
00:17:07.259 --> 00:17:07.619
Say less.
356
00:17:07.680 --> 00:17:09.900
I wasn't even on MySpace. I had MySpace for like
357
00:17:09.980 --> 00:17:12.279
a day, literally like one day. And I was like,
358
00:17:12.299 --> 00:17:13.720
I don't know what this is. And it was like
359
00:17:13.759 --> 00:17:15.500
when I was building my personal training.
360
00:17:15.720 --> 00:17:17.180
Oh, I was deep in MySpace.
361
00:17:17.619 --> 00:17:20.359
Although now if MySpace comes back, what was it? Your
362
00:17:20.380 --> 00:17:20.880
top eight?
363
00:17:21.079 --> 00:17:21.940
You had your top eight.
364
00:17:22.000 --> 00:17:25.579
Well, I don't even have any friends. So you're up there.
365
00:17:25.599 --> 00:17:27.279
So you've got one. You and Nell got.
366
00:17:28.259 --> 00:17:29.579
I got four and I'll just.
367
00:17:29.440 --> 00:17:33.369
Rotate you guys. Jen and Natalie. Um.
368
00:17:34.630 --> 00:17:34.809
No.
369
00:17:34.849 --> 00:17:35.650
My rider dies.
370
00:17:35.750 --> 00:17:37.950
It's so true. I saw the other day, I saw
371
00:17:37.990 --> 00:17:40.750
someone selling something, but it was, you plug your cell
372
00:17:40.769 --> 00:17:42.349
phone into it, but you prop it up on the
373
00:17:42.390 --> 00:17:45.170
wall and it had the curly, like it's a charger,
374
00:17:45.190 --> 00:17:47.390
but it has the curly phone wire. And I was like,
375
00:17:47.670 --> 00:17:52.460
there's something nostalgic about having to stand there or sit
376
00:17:52.500 --> 00:17:55.140
and like hold the wire. And yeah, cause that's how.
377
00:17:55.319 --> 00:17:56.720
And you would twirl it forever and it would get
378
00:17:56.740 --> 00:17:57.559
stretched out in the middle.
379
00:17:57.759 --> 00:17:57.940
Yes.
380
00:17:58.700 --> 00:18:00.700
I've seen those too because people are like, oh my God,
381
00:18:00.740 --> 00:18:02.700
this landline. I was like, no, bitches, that's not a
382
00:18:02.740 --> 00:18:06.220
landline because you plug your cell phone because people are like,
383
00:18:06.480 --> 00:18:09.579
I've got like, and I'm like, no, a real landline
384
00:18:09.599 --> 00:18:12.619
isn't you need to dial the number on your cell
385
00:18:12.640 --> 00:18:14.660
phone and then pick the landline up. You know how
386
00:18:14.680 --> 00:18:16.849
many phone numbers we used to know? Think about how
387
00:18:17.049 --> 00:18:19.950
actually like, I wonder, I'm sure there's studies on this.
388
00:18:20.910 --> 00:18:24.369
The memorization power that our brains used to have, I'm
389
00:18:24.430 --> 00:18:26.329
sure you used to be able to rattle off everybody's
390
00:18:26.349 --> 00:18:28.250
phone number. Yeah. grandparents, parents, friends.
391
00:18:28.269 --> 00:18:30.829
And I actually can still say a lot of the
392
00:18:30.910 --> 00:18:34.269
old phone numbers that I knew when I was a kid.
393
00:18:34.549 --> 00:18:37.240
But current people I know, someone could be like, I'll
394
00:18:37.259 --> 00:18:39.480
give you a million dollars if you say the first
395
00:18:39.640 --> 00:18:42.039
three numbers of Autumn's phone number. And I wouldn't have
396
00:18:42.059 --> 00:18:43.059
a clue. No, same.
397
00:18:43.460 --> 00:18:47.150
I know one person's phone number. Exactly one. And it's
398
00:18:47.210 --> 00:18:49.210
not my son's, which is the most messed up part.
399
00:18:49.609 --> 00:18:50.630
I don't even know Dom's phone number.
400
00:18:51.220 --> 00:18:51.539
Yeah.
401
00:18:51.720 --> 00:18:53.819
And I've looked at it a million times and it's
402
00:18:53.859 --> 00:18:57.039
like it just doesn't stick. Kent's. And it's only because
403
00:18:57.079 --> 00:19:03.369
I've known Kent for 20 something years. So I memorized
404
00:19:03.410 --> 00:19:04.210
his phone number.
405
00:19:04.369 --> 00:19:06.589
And he hasn't changed his number in 20 years.
406
00:19:06.710 --> 00:19:08.170
Not me either, though. I've had the same one.
407
00:19:08.670 --> 00:19:10.990
I think I have for 20. See, that's my fucking point.
408
00:19:11.759 --> 00:19:15.539
Somewhere along the way, five years turned into 20. I
409
00:19:15.559 --> 00:19:18.259
swear to God. They're fucking with us. We are in
410
00:19:18.500 --> 00:19:19.599
a stimulation.
411
00:19:19.660 --> 00:19:19.920
I know.
412
00:19:20.000 --> 00:19:21.400
And they sped up the time.
413
00:19:21.420 --> 00:19:21.960
They sure did.
414
00:19:21.980 --> 00:19:24.960
That's why everyone looks younger now at our age because
415
00:19:25.049 --> 00:19:26.490
we actually aren't as aged.
416
00:19:26.509 --> 00:19:28.170
It's not the facelift.
417
00:19:28.309 --> 00:19:32.009
Well, not the drinking water, the good mood brews. No,
418
00:19:32.490 --> 00:19:35.650
it's like a time warp. It's crazy.
419
00:19:35.730 --> 00:19:38.079
The last five years have been a time warp. But-
420
00:19:38.690 --> 00:19:41.440
And all of that is to say, but I don't
421
00:19:41.460 --> 00:19:43.400
think you're alone in it. Because when you started talking
422
00:19:43.420 --> 00:19:45.299
about it, I was like, well, I basically feel the
423
00:19:45.319 --> 00:19:47.769
same way. And I was talking with one of our
424
00:19:47.789 --> 00:19:49.569
other friends the other day, and she was saying the
425
00:19:49.609 --> 00:19:51.200
same thing. She was like, you know, there's like a
426
00:19:51.240 --> 00:19:54.059
million plates in the air and none of them are
427
00:19:54.099 --> 00:19:58.980
like awesome. I'm not thrilled about any of them. And
428
00:19:59.029 --> 00:20:00.970
so again, maybe it is the midlife crisis because we're
429
00:20:01.009 --> 00:20:04.150
all kind of within a 10-year age gap of each other.
430
00:20:04.170 --> 00:20:06.730
But I also just think it's the world.
431
00:20:07.130 --> 00:20:09.789
Well, you know what's interesting? So I was just on
432
00:20:09.869 --> 00:20:13.200
this European trip for the first time, and there was
433
00:20:13.240 --> 00:20:17.859
something that felt so good and healthy for my brain
434
00:20:18.200 --> 00:20:22.400
to my main task that whole trip was to take
435
00:20:22.420 --> 00:20:25.630
in the beauty around me. And the truth is, you
436
00:20:25.670 --> 00:20:28.190
don't have to be in Europe to do that. But
437
00:20:28.390 --> 00:20:31.509
in our normal day-to-day life, that's not the way that
438
00:20:31.529 --> 00:20:34.349
we're thinking. We're thinking, what do we need to produce
439
00:20:34.970 --> 00:20:38.789
so that I don't end up homeless and hungry and
440
00:20:39.549 --> 00:20:44.369
with no one there and alone. These fears play in
441
00:20:44.410 --> 00:20:47.269
my head. And then I think, oh my God, I
442
00:20:47.309 --> 00:20:51.279
went from being 25 to 41 in three years and
443
00:20:53.220 --> 00:20:55.240
pretty soon life's going to be over. You know what
444
00:20:55.279 --> 00:20:56.619
I mean? But that's the midlife crisis.
445
00:20:56.640 --> 00:20:57.819
That's the midlife crisis part.
446
00:20:58.859 --> 00:21:02.650
But I think The point is one thing, just thinking
447
00:21:02.690 --> 00:21:05.950
of things that are helpful and healthy when I feel that.
448
00:21:06.579 --> 00:21:08.740
One thing I think is like stopping and asking myself,
449
00:21:08.779 --> 00:21:11.220
where can I just observe beauty around me?
450
00:21:12.220 --> 00:21:13.660
Like little moments of joy.
451
00:21:13.680 --> 00:21:17.740
Yeah, right. Moments of joy. Like things that even I
452
00:21:17.809 --> 00:21:20.250
love that you, I don't know if you want to,
453
00:21:20.589 --> 00:21:24.890
you said getting flowers is like because.
454
00:21:26.049 --> 00:21:27.789
I mean, in all honesty, like, you know, sometimes you
455
00:21:27.809 --> 00:21:28.509
got to talk to chat.
456
00:21:28.589 --> 00:21:28.809
Yeah.
457
00:21:28.890 --> 00:21:32.250
I was actually asking chat something about like helping me
458
00:21:32.309 --> 00:21:34.910
write some copy that I needed to submit for the
459
00:21:34.930 --> 00:21:38.079
beverage line. And, and it was like giving me stuff
460
00:21:38.099 --> 00:21:40.619
and I was like, yeah, but that's not, that's not true.
461
00:21:41.099 --> 00:21:43.839
That's not accurate about my life. And I was like,
462
00:21:43.859 --> 00:21:46.700
this is my real life. And it was so funny
463
00:21:46.720 --> 00:21:50.599
because chat was like, okay, so that changes it. And
464
00:21:50.640 --> 00:21:52.759
so like, okay, let's write the text like this. And
465
00:21:52.819 --> 00:21:55.299
it was like, but one thing, and I'm not saying this,
466
00:21:56.089 --> 00:21:57.869
in a therapy type way.
467
00:21:57.970 --> 00:22:00.569
I love how chat treads lightly.
468
00:22:00.950 --> 00:22:03.190
We know who we're talking to. And it was like,
469
00:22:03.490 --> 00:22:06.039
chat was like, but where's the joy in your life?
470
00:22:06.619 --> 00:22:09.519
It was like everything you said, like you work very hard,
471
00:22:09.579 --> 00:22:12.720
but where's the joy? Like buy yourself flowers, not to
472
00:22:12.759 --> 00:22:15.200
be fake and post a photo about it, but because
473
00:22:15.240 --> 00:22:19.670
you deserve flowers just because you deserve flowers. And I
474
00:22:19.710 --> 00:22:22.450
was like, wow, okay, listen, there's a time and a
475
00:22:22.470 --> 00:22:24.210
place for AI and I don't use it a lot,
476
00:22:24.230 --> 00:22:26.910
but I was like, Solid. So when we went to
477
00:22:26.930 --> 00:22:29.329
the farmer's market today, in fact, that's why I wanted
478
00:22:29.349 --> 00:22:30.569
to go to the farmer's market. I was like, I
479
00:22:30.609 --> 00:22:32.430
just want to go get flowers because I love them
480
00:22:32.450 --> 00:22:36.269
and they're beautiful and they make me happy. And yeah,
481
00:22:36.690 --> 00:22:38.829
I don't need to wait for an occasion. I don't
482
00:22:38.869 --> 00:22:40.670
need to wait for somebody else to buy them for me.
483
00:22:40.859 --> 00:22:43.839
I like flowers. So let's get a coffee and get
484
00:22:43.859 --> 00:22:46.779
some flowers and walk around and try seven versions of plums.
485
00:22:48.759 --> 00:22:50.180
Yeah, that was our breakfast, the plums.
486
00:22:51.460 --> 00:22:52.900
Oh, we've eaten a lot today now that I think
487
00:22:52.920 --> 00:22:54.859
about it. I'm like, so we're done. Right.
488
00:22:56.579 --> 00:23:04.549
Now, he always gets flowers. Does he? Sometimes it's literally
489
00:23:04.589 --> 00:23:06.650
just one kind of flower or very simple. He puts
490
00:23:06.670 --> 00:23:09.269
them in a vase. But every time, at least weekly,
491
00:23:09.710 --> 00:23:13.259
he gets fresh flowers for the house. And it's so
492
00:23:13.299 --> 00:23:15.880
interesting because that's not something I've done. And then throughout
493
00:23:16.000 --> 00:23:19.619
the week... He'll, I don't think he does it intentionally,
494
00:23:19.980 --> 00:23:22.880
but he'll call attention to the flowers. He'll be like,
495
00:23:22.980 --> 00:23:25.299
I just love these. Look at them. And as they
496
00:23:25.319 --> 00:23:28.490
change and open more and the colors and he'll point
497
00:23:28.529 --> 00:23:28.829
it out.
498
00:23:29.630 --> 00:23:32.109
Your boyfriend does things right. And you and I, this
499
00:23:32.170 --> 00:23:32.750
is the problem.
500
00:23:34.150 --> 00:23:35.609
We're a couple of crusty bitches.
501
00:23:37.230 --> 00:23:40.839
Nell is the most positive and it's not fake. Like
502
00:23:40.880 --> 00:23:43.220
we always tease him because he'll be eating and he'll
503
00:23:43.240 --> 00:23:46.500
be like, I just feel it nourishing my muscles and
504
00:23:46.519 --> 00:23:49.059
they're getting so strong. And we're over here like, do
505
00:23:49.079 --> 00:23:49.940
I look skinny today?
506
00:23:49.960 --> 00:23:50.720
Uh-huh.
507
00:23:50.759 --> 00:23:54.279
Right. And I said to Donald the other day, I
508
00:23:54.319 --> 00:23:57.380
was like, what just happened? Nellie looks like the Incredible Hulk.
509
00:23:57.500 --> 00:23:59.920
And he's like, I know. And I'm like, so there's
510
00:23:59.940 --> 00:24:02.329
something to be said for speaking positively.
511
00:24:02.349 --> 00:24:02.930
That's right.
512
00:24:03.029 --> 00:24:05.589
To your body. Absolutely. Which we know this. We know
513
00:24:05.609 --> 00:24:10.549
there are scientifically proven studies that the way you speak,
514
00:24:10.730 --> 00:24:14.710
even like the thoughts that you have, impact a vibration
515
00:24:14.750 --> 00:24:15.329
in your body.
516
00:24:15.470 --> 00:24:15.710
Yeah.
517
00:24:16.349 --> 00:24:21.079
And we're over here like, and Nell's like, I love everything. Yeah.
518
00:24:21.119 --> 00:24:24.099
And he's just calm. I mean, you and I are like,
519
00:24:24.160 --> 00:24:25.519
spit it out, Junior. Yes.
520
00:24:25.539 --> 00:24:26.700
What are you.
521
00:24:26.519 --> 00:24:28.460
Trying to say?
522
00:24:28.500 --> 00:24:31.059
Patience is a virtue. We're not very virtuous. I hate
523
00:24:31.140 --> 00:24:31.819
to say, but.
524
00:24:31.700 --> 00:24:32.799
We're working on it.
525
00:24:32.839 --> 00:24:33.180
Yeah.
526
00:24:33.680 --> 00:24:36.220
Yeah. You know, like, okay, so you were just in Europe. Obviously,
527
00:24:36.259 --> 00:24:40.319
I've been several times. And not obviously. I didn't mean
528
00:24:40.339 --> 00:24:41.720
it like that. Obviously.
529
00:24:41.779 --> 00:24:42.339
I know, obviously.
530
00:24:42.380 --> 00:24:46.660
We've talked about it. They live so differently over there. Like,
531
00:24:46.700 --> 00:24:52.569
you get over there and– Everything feels slower. Nobody's in
532
00:24:53.109 --> 00:24:58.910
a rush. They work to live. They don't live to
533
00:24:58.970 --> 00:25:02.289
work like we do. Like our whole day is, literally,
534
00:25:02.349 --> 00:25:04.490
my whole day is work. If I didn't work all day,
535
00:25:04.609 --> 00:25:05.589
I don't know what I would do.
536
00:25:06.029 --> 00:25:06.880
Yeah.
537
00:25:07.210 --> 00:25:10.000
And I don't mean that in a positive way, actually.
538
00:25:10.220 --> 00:25:10.480
Yeah.
539
00:25:10.500 --> 00:25:14.880
Like I say that in a very, if I wasn't
540
00:25:14.920 --> 00:25:19.410
working 24-7- I don't know. You guys don't live here.
541
00:25:19.430 --> 00:25:22.049
What am I going to do? Okay, you can only
542
00:25:22.089 --> 00:25:24.650
lay out by the pool so often. Okay, get up,
543
00:25:24.710 --> 00:25:26.950
work out, take the dog for a walk, take your meals.
544
00:25:27.009 --> 00:25:31.170
I'd be bored. I work because there's nothing else going on.
545
00:25:31.599 --> 00:25:35.680
And that's the quote unquote depressing side of it. It
546
00:25:36.099 --> 00:25:40.380
used to be the work was so fun and it
547
00:25:40.420 --> 00:25:43.200
led to the big events and the big launch and
548
00:25:43.240 --> 00:25:47.470
the energy. And now it's just like, the daily grind
549
00:25:47.529 --> 00:25:48.769
because that's all there is to do.
550
00:25:48.809 --> 00:25:52.750
Yeah. I know. You know, one person that popped in
551
00:25:52.789 --> 00:25:56.339
my mind that's a friend of ours, Megan, I love
552
00:25:56.380 --> 00:25:59.420
that she started ballroom dancing again. And that's something that
553
00:25:59.500 --> 00:26:02.279
I love, which has also been work for me. But
554
00:26:02.400 --> 00:26:09.250
finding outlets that satisfy different things that bring you joy
555
00:26:09.349 --> 00:26:12.690
is so important. And I'm the same. I think the
556
00:26:12.710 --> 00:26:17.329
thing is, We're both creatives. And when your work involves
557
00:26:17.569 --> 00:26:21.029
also creating, there is a lot of joy. But if
558
00:26:21.049 --> 00:26:23.529
you're not filling your cup in other ways, you are
559
00:26:23.589 --> 00:26:26.670
going to burn yourself out. And the creative... Yeah, I'm there.
560
00:26:30.119 --> 00:26:30.859
Tap out.
561
00:26:31.559 --> 00:26:34.119
I am literally like, I was like, if I could
562
00:26:34.140 --> 00:26:36.420
have joined you guys in Europe, if there was... And
563
00:26:36.440 --> 00:26:39.190
when I say could have, what I mean is... I
564
00:26:39.289 --> 00:26:42.269
had to stay here and work. It wasn't an option.
565
00:26:42.289 --> 00:26:44.119
Because you guys had even said, come.
566
00:26:44.410 --> 00:26:44.890
Exactly.
567
00:26:45.119 --> 00:26:48.500
And I was like, I can't. And I've never felt
568
00:26:48.680 --> 00:26:51.940
so pinned down by work before. I mean, yes, obviously
569
00:26:52.039 --> 00:26:55.720
years ago, nine to five-ish waiting tables, all those things.
570
00:26:55.779 --> 00:26:58.460
But no, it's like, I've never had the resources and
571
00:26:58.539 --> 00:27:01.220
not been able to go for this long, for five
572
00:27:01.279 --> 00:27:04.900
months of like, I'm going to Miami for four days
573
00:27:04.960 --> 00:27:07.619
this week. Like it's Thursday through the weekend.
574
00:27:08.099 --> 00:27:10.200
And you have to work so much to create the
575
00:27:10.220 --> 00:27:11.640
space for that. I have to work.
576
00:27:11.500 --> 00:27:13.440
So much to create the space for that. My body
577
00:27:13.559 --> 00:27:15.819
is so tired because of the amount of workouts. Because
578
00:27:15.839 --> 00:27:18.660
I have other work going on. Like a bunch of
579
00:27:18.680 --> 00:27:21.009
things all of a sudden all came in at once.
580
00:27:21.769 --> 00:27:24.049
And they were all great opportunities for the business, for
581
00:27:24.069 --> 00:27:26.769
the beverage line. I can't say no to them. But
582
00:27:26.809 --> 00:27:30.119
I'm still... have obligations of getting these workouts done for
583
00:27:30.160 --> 00:27:32.799
my app, for my people, which I love doing the workouts.
584
00:27:33.039 --> 00:27:35.119
I don't love doing the workouts under this much pressure.
585
00:27:35.500 --> 00:27:37.279
I don't love doing it where it's like you have
586
00:27:37.319 --> 00:27:39.940
to do two a day, even when your body feels
587
00:27:40.500 --> 00:27:43.920
like it's exhausted. There is no rest days. I'm Monday
588
00:27:43.960 --> 00:27:47.579
through Sunday filming because I have to get out ahead
589
00:27:47.900 --> 00:27:49.480
so that I could have these four days to go
590
00:27:49.519 --> 00:27:52.569
to Miami, which it's like, okay, that's fun. But also
591
00:27:52.619 --> 00:27:54.410
it put a shit ton of work on the front
592
00:27:54.470 --> 00:27:55.789
end and it put a shit ton of work on
593
00:27:55.809 --> 00:27:56.309
the back end.
594
00:27:56.329 --> 00:27:59.769
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I told you, you know, cause
595
00:27:59.789 --> 00:28:02.150
I've been doing these little like bonus workouts as a
596
00:28:02.470 --> 00:28:08.099
bonus for an incentive for some people who order from me. And, um,
597
00:28:08.700 --> 00:28:10.839
I just do five a month and I was like, girl,
598
00:28:11.259 --> 00:28:14.500
I've done it for three months and I'm out of stuff.
599
00:28:14.519 --> 00:28:15.380
Yeah.
600
00:28:15.539 --> 00:28:18.559
I did all the moves, 15 days of working out
601
00:28:18.599 --> 00:28:18.960
all the moves.
602
00:28:19.000 --> 00:28:19.539
That's fitness.
603
00:28:19.759 --> 00:28:24.349
But no, I can only imagine producing the, the workouts
604
00:28:24.829 --> 00:28:29.349
and with Also, I can say like, I like, because
605
00:28:30.029 --> 00:28:33.710
I've been such a close part of, we've been close
606
00:28:33.750 --> 00:28:36.049
friends for a lot of development and programs for the
607
00:28:36.069 --> 00:28:40.410
last 10 years. You really do put so much pressure
608
00:28:40.470 --> 00:28:46.799
on yourself about really like finding that creative edge in
609
00:28:46.890 --> 00:28:49.460
everything that you do and really making it unique and
610
00:28:49.480 --> 00:28:52.039
a new experience for people. And I think that's amazing.
611
00:28:53.150 --> 00:28:54.990
And also, I think it's okay. You've done it. You
612
00:28:55.029 --> 00:28:58.250
can like ease off on that pressure you're putting yourself
613
00:28:58.269 --> 00:28:59.009
a little bit.
614
00:28:59.529 --> 00:29:01.759
I always think though like, okay, right now I'm doing
615
00:29:01.779 --> 00:29:05.519
the hormone code, which is basically redoing Belvital. But Belvital,
616
00:29:05.539 --> 00:29:08.220
we didn't film in real time. So I wrote all
617
00:29:08.259 --> 00:29:10.579
new workouts for it and I'm filming them in real time,
618
00:29:10.700 --> 00:29:12.759
which is actually really fun because then they don't have
619
00:29:12.779 --> 00:29:16.130
to hear the same thing every week, except I realized something.
620
00:29:17.289 --> 00:29:20.069
I ran out of things to say. And I say
621
00:29:20.109 --> 00:29:23.410
that kind of funny, but I also like... I'm 20-something
622
00:29:23.450 --> 00:29:28.660
workout programs deep in a little over a decade. I
623
00:29:28.700 --> 00:29:31.180
feel like I've said all of the motivation. I've said
624
00:29:31.440 --> 00:29:33.579
all of the inspiration. I don't know how many more
625
00:29:33.619 --> 00:29:35.579
times or how many more different ways to say it.
626
00:29:36.450 --> 00:29:38.589
And then I have to say to myself, yeah, but Autumn,
627
00:29:39.029 --> 00:29:41.509
this program, this workout might be the first time somebody's
628
00:29:41.549 --> 00:29:44.809
ever done a workout with you. Yep. So you've said
629
00:29:44.849 --> 00:29:48.150
it 400 times. You're assuming everybody's done every program and
630
00:29:48.170 --> 00:29:50.690
they've heard you say all the things. Obviously, that's not
631
00:29:50.730 --> 00:29:54.279
the case. But it's still like, I'm like, I'm so
632
00:29:54.339 --> 00:29:55.359
tired of my own voice.
633
00:29:56.019 --> 00:29:57.859
I know. But you know what? I was talking to
634
00:29:57.920 --> 00:30:01.799
one of my clients the other day And, um, I might.
635
00:30:01.720 --> 00:30:10.440
Be in a worse place than you. Everything's great.
636
00:30:10.480 --> 00:30:14.910
I'm not depressed, but I do feel like what's the
637
00:30:14.950 --> 00:30:20.230
point and I'm exhausted. I just can't keep going. No, I, I, um, uh,
638
00:30:20.250 --> 00:30:22.809
was talking to one of my clients the other day
639
00:30:23.250 --> 00:30:28.279
and she was, is, has also, is also working with
640
00:30:28.599 --> 00:30:32.640
a nutritionist. And so we were sort of talking about that.
641
00:30:33.099 --> 00:30:34.900
And I was like, so what are the new things
642
00:30:34.940 --> 00:30:38.769
that you're getting from this person? And she said, you know,
643
00:30:38.829 --> 00:30:40.910
it's not a lot of new. It's things I know,
644
00:30:40.970 --> 00:30:43.349
but it's good to hear again. And I think just
645
00:30:43.410 --> 00:30:48.509
remember for your motivation, it doesn't hurt someone to hear
646
00:30:48.930 --> 00:30:52.109
that they're strong enough or that, you know, quote, you're
647
00:30:52.130 --> 00:30:55.670
not getting, it's not getting easier. You're getting stronger. Someone
648
00:30:55.690 --> 00:30:58.220
can hear that a hundred times and it's not too
649
00:30:58.259 --> 00:31:01.779
many right and so just remembering like and the truth
650
00:31:01.940 --> 00:31:06.269
is we're stubborn people and like.
651
00:31:06.170 --> 00:31:09.569
Me and you or the world the world.
652
00:31:09.269 --> 00:31:12.789
Like the humanity like it's very you have to really
653
00:31:12.910 --> 00:31:17.599
be so persistent to create to actually start to believe
654
00:31:17.660 --> 00:31:21.450
some things that you're hearing yeah and even like with Um,
655
00:31:21.710 --> 00:31:24.049
I'm sure too, with your launches and things you've heard
656
00:31:24.289 --> 00:31:27.049
marketing experts say, people have to see something like seven
657
00:31:27.089 --> 00:31:30.190
to 10 times before it's even legitimized in their mind.
658
00:31:30.750 --> 00:31:35.170
So try not to feel, not that you asked, I'm
659
00:31:35.190 --> 00:31:36.019
not trying to like.
660
00:31:36.059 --> 00:31:37.490
No, no, I like it. It helps me.
661
00:31:37.650 --> 00:31:40.380
Yeah. I think saying, if something comes to your mind,
662
00:31:40.680 --> 00:31:43.000
don't pause because like, oh, I've already said that. Maybe
663
00:31:43.019 --> 00:31:44.359
say it in that moment.
664
00:31:44.380 --> 00:31:45.500
You want to know what happens?
665
00:31:46.619 --> 00:31:47.759
I'm blank.
666
00:31:47.779 --> 00:31:51.299
Yeah. And I'm being so for real with you guys
667
00:31:51.359 --> 00:31:54.579
right now. Like I'll be, you know, I'm trying to
668
00:31:54.640 --> 00:31:56.619
cue it. It's a lot of it's the plotty stuff.
669
00:31:56.640 --> 00:31:58.779
So it takes longer anyways to cue. And then all
670
00:31:58.799 --> 00:32:01.119
of a sudden I go to like, try to pull
671
00:32:01.160 --> 00:32:08.779
a motivational thought. And like, no words come, no words come.
672
00:32:09.140 --> 00:32:12.160
I'm like, my brain said we are done. We have
673
00:32:12.380 --> 00:32:14.269
no motivation. I'm like, why can't I come up with
674
00:32:14.289 --> 00:32:17.150
a thought right now? And I think it's a block
675
00:32:17.190 --> 00:32:20.400
that I have almost like a writer's block of like, I've, I,
676
00:32:20.619 --> 00:32:22.220
I maybe have said a few too many times in
677
00:32:22.259 --> 00:32:24.900
my own mind, you've said all the things, there's nothing
678
00:32:24.940 --> 00:32:27.400
left to say. And so it's just going back and going,
679
00:32:28.259 --> 00:32:30.910
like you said, just like, I'll have moments. Don't get
680
00:32:30.930 --> 00:32:33.750
me wrong. Like there's, and by the way, you, you're
681
00:32:33.789 --> 00:32:35.269
not going to see or feel any of this in
682
00:32:35.289 --> 00:32:39.150
the workouts because I am very diligent. I'll put notes
683
00:32:39.329 --> 00:32:42.109
on my slides for myself of like what I want
684
00:32:42.130 --> 00:32:43.569
to talk about this, or I want to make sure
685
00:32:43.589 --> 00:32:46.269
I get this point across today. Like this is where
686
00:32:46.289 --> 00:32:49.440
they're at in the workout. That's something fun about filming
687
00:32:49.480 --> 00:32:51.279
in real time is like, I know where you're at
688
00:32:51.319 --> 00:32:54.250
in the program. So I know what you're feeling. So
689
00:32:54.289 --> 00:32:59.789
I can motivate around that. But yeah, like sometimes I'm just,
690
00:32:59.809 --> 00:33:02.190
I don't know. I put an earbud in now. I'm like,
691
00:33:02.230 --> 00:33:04.009
I just need at least music. Like I need, I
692
00:33:04.029 --> 00:33:07.519
need something other than deafening silence and my voice.
693
00:33:09.519 --> 00:33:11.480
Yeah. And then all of a sudden the word is
694
00:33:11.519 --> 00:33:12.579
just a small town girl.
695
00:33:12.599 --> 00:33:16.789
That's what I was going to say actually. And then like, life,
696
00:33:16.869 --> 00:33:18.710
things will happen and I'll, and then I'll go on
697
00:33:18.730 --> 00:33:20.529
to like, oh my gosh, this happened or oh my gosh,
698
00:33:20.569 --> 00:33:22.109
that happened. And so that's good.
699
00:33:22.269 --> 00:33:25.099
Like, yeah, but no, it just feels like the pressure
700
00:33:25.150 --> 00:33:27.140
and that, and that's the thing. And that's why I'm
701
00:33:27.160 --> 00:33:28.779
glad we're talking through it though. And I feel like
702
00:33:28.880 --> 00:33:33.480
even when you're filming, it's okay to say like, so,
703
00:33:33.740 --> 00:33:37.059
you know, I, I want to have something motivational to
704
00:33:37.099 --> 00:33:40.599
share with you guys, but honestly, my mind is blank,
705
00:33:41.079 --> 00:33:43.859
but just know that we're still here doing it. And
706
00:33:43.940 --> 00:33:46.799
even when you can't muster up the word to say
707
00:33:46.839 --> 00:33:49.690
to motivate yourself, sometimes when you lack motivation, that's when
708
00:33:49.710 --> 00:33:52.809
discipline shows up and we're being disciplined. You know what
709
00:33:52.869 --> 00:33:57.029
I mean? Because what I do like about at least
710
00:33:57.230 --> 00:34:01.309
how I'm perceiving this opportunity of my life, because like
711
00:34:01.329 --> 00:34:05.150
you said earlier, or we touched on it, coming from
712
00:34:05.170 --> 00:34:08.800
the last decade, And then things changing so much, it's
713
00:34:08.980 --> 00:34:12.000
easy to mourn the loss of what was and feel
714
00:34:12.019 --> 00:34:14.119
a little bit like, where am I finding myself? Right.
715
00:34:14.260 --> 00:34:18.179
And I'm really, I keep reminding myself, I get to
716
00:34:18.239 --> 00:34:21.840
decide what this part of my life looks like. I
717
00:34:21.860 --> 00:34:26.469
get to decide how it's going to feel. I get
718
00:34:26.570 --> 00:34:28.889
to decide how 41-year-old me, it doesn't have to look
719
00:34:28.909 --> 00:34:31.889
like the 41-year-old others that I've seen. And not that
720
00:34:31.889 --> 00:34:36.360
41 is old, but- Everyone probably knows when they turn 41,
721
00:34:36.340 --> 00:34:38.579
you feel a little something about it. And then you
722
00:34:38.599 --> 00:34:40.619
turn 51 and you're like, 41 was so young.
723
00:34:40.820 --> 00:34:42.719
I turned 40 on the set of Nine Week Control Freak.
724
00:34:42.780 --> 00:34:44.920
And I'm like, that feels like it was yesterday. And
725
00:34:44.960 --> 00:34:47.340
it also feels like it was two decades ago.
726
00:34:47.360 --> 00:34:49.920
I know. That's like the trip we took.
727
00:34:49.960 --> 00:34:50.920
We went to Napa.
728
00:34:51.079 --> 00:34:55.239
Uh-huh. So I've been just reminding myself, I get to
729
00:34:55.280 --> 00:34:58.119
decide what this looks and feels like. And one thing
730
00:34:58.139 --> 00:35:01.139
that I really want for myself in this phase is
731
00:35:01.239 --> 00:35:05.070
just to be transparent. And it feels really good because
732
00:35:05.110 --> 00:35:07.079
it feels like I'm taking the pressure off. It's like
733
00:35:07.940 --> 00:35:10.139
letting the pressure out.
734
00:35:10.159 --> 00:35:10.920
Yeah, it's not going to burst.
735
00:35:10.960 --> 00:35:17.139
Exactly. And it's like okay for me to be not
736
00:35:17.239 --> 00:35:21.440
all over the place but honest about how sometimes we
737
00:35:21.480 --> 00:35:22.719
feel all over the place.
738
00:35:22.739 --> 00:35:22.880
Yeah.
739
00:35:23.300 --> 00:35:26.739
And I have really, really good days and really amazing times.
740
00:35:27.059 --> 00:35:32.090
But also the truth is sometimes I am questioning– everything
741
00:35:32.130 --> 00:35:34.030
that I'm doing? And am I wasting time? And what
742
00:35:34.070 --> 00:35:37.230
if I'm going down the wrong path? And being honest
743
00:35:37.289 --> 00:35:40.150
about that is how I want this part of my
744
00:35:40.190 --> 00:35:41.429
life to look. Yeah.
745
00:35:41.670 --> 00:35:44.449
I think that's a really great way to look at
746
00:35:44.530 --> 00:35:48.659
it of like, let me just be transparent. I also
747
00:35:48.699 --> 00:35:50.760
think you just said something so interesting. You're like, I
748
00:35:50.800 --> 00:35:53.969
have really great days. And then, but That's everybody. And
749
00:35:54.010 --> 00:35:56.070
that's the thing is we've gotten so used to seeing
750
00:35:56.150 --> 00:36:00.070
everybody's highlight reel on social that it looks like every day,
751
00:36:00.210 --> 00:36:07.039
all day, everybody is just living the most magnificent, fun life.
752
00:36:07.840 --> 00:36:10.840
And it can really make you feel, again, lonely, like
753
00:36:10.860 --> 00:36:14.889
you're not doing enough. You're not achieving enough. I'll give
754
00:36:14.909 --> 00:36:16.690
you an example. So we all know I do brand deals.
755
00:36:16.710 --> 00:36:19.889
Like this is not a secret. It is part of
756
00:36:19.949 --> 00:36:21.750
my income. I work with brands. I only work with
757
00:36:21.789 --> 00:36:23.530
brands I really use. I only work with brands I
758
00:36:23.550 --> 00:36:25.889
really love. I turn down more than I accept, believe
759
00:36:25.909 --> 00:36:28.760
it or not. And I do set goals for myself
760
00:36:28.780 --> 00:36:31.300
with brand deals. And I was talking with my manager
761
00:36:31.340 --> 00:36:34.119
the other day. And I am really, like you've said,
762
00:36:34.139 --> 00:36:36.519
I'm really hard on myself. And I'm like, I just
763
00:36:36.539 --> 00:36:38.949
feel like I'm sucking at everything. Like I see all
764
00:36:38.989 --> 00:36:40.710
these other girls that are a part of the company
765
00:36:40.750 --> 00:36:43.639
and all their content is so amazing and And like
766
00:36:43.739 --> 00:36:47.199
my story views are in the shitter and like, you know,
767
00:36:47.219 --> 00:36:49.699
I'll spend an hour editing something and it looks like
768
00:36:49.880 --> 00:36:51.340
garbage so I don't even want to put it up.
769
00:36:51.960 --> 00:36:57.219
And she's like, Autumn, just so you know, you're significantly
770
00:36:57.300 --> 00:36:59.719
ahead of the goal that we set for this year.
771
00:37:00.179 --> 00:37:02.159
She's like, you're going to hit it and we haven't
772
00:37:02.199 --> 00:37:05.659
even entered the fourth quarter yet. And I'm like, really?
773
00:37:05.679 --> 00:37:10.280
Because in my mind, I've done horrible. And she's like, no.
774
00:37:11.019 --> 00:37:11.260
Yeah.
775
00:37:12.000 --> 00:37:15.510
You're doing great. Great. And I'm like, why doesn't it
776
00:37:15.610 --> 00:37:18.530
feel like that? Like it just feels like such a
777
00:37:18.630 --> 00:37:21.050
grind every day. But I think it's because of that.
778
00:37:21.190 --> 00:37:24.969
I'm constantly looking at, listen, some people are fantastic at
779
00:37:25.159 --> 00:37:29.099
styling and shooting photos and shooting video and editing it.
780
00:37:29.880 --> 00:37:34.090
We all know I can't draw a stick figure. Oh,
781
00:37:34.119 --> 00:37:39.070
it is what it is. So it's acknowledging that, right?
782
00:37:39.550 --> 00:37:42.739
I'm not trying to look perfect, but also then I
783
00:37:42.780 --> 00:37:44.219
have to stop comparing it.
784
00:37:44.500 --> 00:37:49.920
To people whose strengths are the aesthetic. I love the
785
00:37:49.980 --> 00:37:55.219
raw footage. Honestly, I see a lot of that. There's
786
00:37:55.260 --> 00:37:59.280
a creator that I... Her account is growing. She's a
787
00:37:59.820 --> 00:38:05.440
newer creator, but She's the skinny bitch one.
788
00:38:05.460 --> 00:38:06.260
Oh, hilarious.
789
00:38:06.500 --> 00:38:08.360
She's just so funny. I don't share her stuff that
790
00:38:08.400 --> 00:38:10.539
much because I do understand for some people it could
791
00:38:10.559 --> 00:38:14.559
be triggering. And I don't even necessarily support everything that
792
00:38:14.800 --> 00:38:18.739
she says, but I really admire the way she does content.
793
00:38:18.760 --> 00:38:23.030
And it is not over edited. It's just, she had
794
00:38:23.199 --> 00:38:26.150
like phone propped up, says some shit, blah, blah, blah.
795
00:38:26.510 --> 00:38:30.250
And then ends it. And I think realizing that there
796
00:38:30.630 --> 00:38:34.969
is a platform for, for everyone and kind of not.
797
00:38:36.110 --> 00:38:40.090
So you're seeing, you know, the other people who work
798
00:38:40.349 --> 00:38:43.150
with brands like you, who are like, look a certain
799
00:38:43.190 --> 00:38:45.550
way and it looks so pretty and you're feeling that pressure.
800
00:38:46.400 --> 00:38:49.780
That's how I could have felt. I remember when I
801
00:38:49.940 --> 00:38:53.199
did the first one from home Beachbody program before we met.
802
00:38:53.659 --> 00:38:56.489
And I thought, was imagining what it would be like
803
00:38:56.510 --> 00:38:58.949
to be in the background of a program like that,
804
00:38:58.989 --> 00:39:00.730
to be on a set of a program like that.
805
00:39:01.190 --> 00:39:05.369
And the biggest hurdle that I saw for myself is
806
00:39:05.409 --> 00:39:08.670
that I didn't have a body like everyone else's body
807
00:39:08.809 --> 00:39:13.510
who was in those positions. And the truth is, there's not,
808
00:39:14.280 --> 00:39:17.940
I don't think most of those really fit. But excellent,
809
00:39:18.000 --> 00:39:20.380
I'm sure there are great people who were in the
810
00:39:20.420 --> 00:39:24.820
cast before got more attention or were more successful or
811
00:39:24.920 --> 00:39:29.969
got connected with more people than me because they had
812
00:39:30.130 --> 00:39:32.510
a nicer body. You know what I mean? And so
813
00:39:32.550 --> 00:39:35.719
I think it's a reminder in any situation, you don't
814
00:39:35.820 --> 00:39:37.539
always have to look the part that you're seeing. And
815
00:39:37.579 --> 00:39:42.920
sometimes being the rough around the edges in certain ways
816
00:39:43.300 --> 00:39:45.480
is a strength in what people connect with. And it's
817
00:39:45.519 --> 00:39:49.940
just like, Fuck, it's refreshing to see in an over.
818
00:39:49.960 --> 00:39:51.159
Produced world.
819
00:39:51.239 --> 00:39:53.119
Yeah, overproduced world, yes.
820
00:39:53.159 --> 00:39:56.460
It's nice to just go, hey, not everybody's life is...
821
00:39:56.400 --> 00:39:57.519
That's why I put up the reel I put up
822
00:39:57.539 --> 00:40:01.179
yesterday when I was unloading 2,200 pounds of cans by myself.
823
00:40:01.199 --> 00:40:01.659
That bitch.
824
00:40:02.340 --> 00:40:04.500
Fucking semi pulls up in front of my house at 8.30
825
00:40:04.500 --> 00:40:05.340
in the morning and I was like.
826
00:40:05.360 --> 00:40:08.619
I'm sorry. Yeah, I was like.
827
00:40:08.920 --> 00:40:10.179
I mean, I knew it was coming, but I just
828
00:40:10.199 --> 00:40:12.119
didn't know it was coming that early. So Kent wasn't here.
829
00:40:12.440 --> 00:40:15.880
Dom's at camp. And the guy, the driver was like...
830
00:40:16.420 --> 00:40:18.039
I can't help you. I've got a really bad hip.
831
00:40:18.079 --> 00:40:20.119
And I was like, no, no. Like it was very
832
00:40:20.219 --> 00:40:22.550
obvious that he, and he was so sweet about it.
833
00:40:22.599 --> 00:40:24.500
He was like, you're going to do it by yourself. Like,
834
00:40:24.840 --> 00:40:27.800
let's call somebody. I'll pay him. I was like, no, no, it's, it's,
835
00:40:28.179 --> 00:40:29.780
you're the sweetest. I was like, I work out for
836
00:40:29.800 --> 00:40:32.480
a living. I got this. There was no ramp on
837
00:40:32.500 --> 00:40:34.760
this truck. I was like climbing into the back of
838
00:40:34.800 --> 00:40:35.260
a semi.
839
00:40:36.179 --> 00:40:36.719
Oh my God.
840
00:40:36.739 --> 00:40:40.739
Deconstructing this pallet, carrying two cases of 24 all the
841
00:40:40.760 --> 00:40:42.340
way up to the driveway, dropping it by the door
842
00:40:42.420 --> 00:40:45.090
back and forth. It took me an hour. When I
843
00:40:45.119 --> 00:40:50.760
tell you today, I was in bed last night like asleep. Also,
844
00:40:50.989 --> 00:40:53.860
I just realized I keep having some weird dreams. I
845
00:40:53.880 --> 00:40:55.980
got to tell you because I feel like I got
846
00:40:56.019 --> 00:40:59.119
some demons up in there. Oh, okay. Like weird floaty
847
00:40:59.159 --> 00:41:02.639
shit dreams. We'll talk. But anyways, so I unload this
848
00:41:02.699 --> 00:41:05.159
whole pallet and like as I started to do it,
849
00:41:05.190 --> 00:41:07.469
I'm sweating. I had just done my makeup and hair.
850
00:41:07.489 --> 00:41:09.329
I was getting ready to come out to film a workout.
851
00:41:10.449 --> 00:41:12.429
And the truck pulls up and I'm like, there's nobody here.
852
00:41:12.489 --> 00:41:14.050
I can't make this guy just sit here. I have
853
00:41:14.090 --> 00:41:16.429
to unload this pallet. I was like, well, fuck it.
854
00:41:16.590 --> 00:41:19.340
I put the tripod up. And I was like, this
855
00:41:19.400 --> 00:41:22.179
is what entrepreneur life really looks like. Next week, I'm
856
00:41:22.199 --> 00:41:24.159
going to show you me at my event with my big,
857
00:41:24.199 --> 00:41:26.030
beautiful booth. Let me tell you what it took to
858
00:41:26.070 --> 00:41:29.090
pull that booth off in two weeks. Thank God for TJ.
859
00:41:29.309 --> 00:41:30.829
He's helping me quite a bit. And he helped me
860
00:41:30.869 --> 00:41:33.909
pull in vendors and stuff. But like, that's the real
861
00:41:34.030 --> 00:41:37.070
raw nitty gritty. Like, no, there's no freaking ramp. I
862
00:41:37.090 --> 00:41:39.389
got to climb up and jump down and climb. And like,
863
00:41:39.570 --> 00:41:42.250
everybody's walking by with their dogs because it's 830 in
864
00:41:42.289 --> 00:41:43.690
the morning. And they're all looking at me.
865
00:41:43.650 --> 00:41:46.289
Like, what is happening here? What is happening?
866
00:41:46.570 --> 00:41:48.980
It's a semi truck. But the only thing in it
867
00:41:49.059 --> 00:41:51.219
is this one pallet. So even though the pallet's huge
868
00:41:51.639 --> 00:41:55.670
in a semi-truck, it's like, why do you have a
869
00:41:55.969 --> 00:41:59.670
semi-truck with one pallet of beverages? Like, what is happening?
870
00:42:00.750 --> 00:42:01.010
Yeah.
871
00:42:01.289 --> 00:42:03.190
But it was like, throw that content up because that's
872
00:42:03.230 --> 00:42:05.530
real life and that's all I have to share. It's like,
873
00:42:05.570 --> 00:42:06.510
I can't make it up.
874
00:42:06.909 --> 00:42:10.449
And I just think it's so good because people, I
875
00:42:10.489 --> 00:42:13.429
think now more than ever, can sense the bullshit. And
876
00:42:13.489 --> 00:42:16.539
a lot of what is shown is bullshit. And I
877
00:42:16.599 --> 00:42:19.730
think it's a good reminder for me too, because the
878
00:42:19.769 --> 00:42:23.389
pressure I feel and the way I, I can find
879
00:42:23.429 --> 00:42:27.659
myself in the, like, I guess I'll say low moments, um,
880
00:42:28.550 --> 00:42:31.480
for lack of a better way of explaining it. It's like,
881
00:42:31.639 --> 00:42:34.019
I imagine all of these people at my stage in
882
00:42:34.059 --> 00:42:39.559
life feeling fulfilled and like they have it all figured
883
00:42:39.739 --> 00:42:44.329
out and everything. And the truth is probably, um, no
884
00:42:44.449 --> 00:42:47.630
one feels that way. And we're just shown so much
885
00:42:47.769 --> 00:42:51.969
more than really, we see into more people's lives than
886
00:42:52.920 --> 00:42:55.579
humans were ever originally designed to see.
887
00:42:55.599 --> 00:42:57.360
No, you're supposed to be your little tribe.
888
00:42:57.619 --> 00:42:58.059
Exactly.
889
00:42:58.079 --> 00:43:00.059
Or your little neighborhood. That's who you knew.
890
00:43:00.199 --> 00:43:02.800
And now we watch strangers as if we're looking through
891
00:43:02.840 --> 00:43:07.010
their window all the time. I scroll and scroll and scroll.
892
00:43:07.030 --> 00:43:10.650
And the reason I scroll a lot is because I've
893
00:43:11.480 --> 00:43:14.820
wonder if it will inspire me creatively for things. But
894
00:43:14.860 --> 00:43:17.519
also I just all of a sudden get lost and entertained,
895
00:43:17.539 --> 00:43:20.239
but it's like so much information my mind's taking. And
896
00:43:20.280 --> 00:43:23.639
then I'm left to think all these people I'm seeing
897
00:43:23.719 --> 00:43:26.679
have their shit figured out and I don't. And it's
898
00:43:26.739 --> 00:43:29.969
a good reminder. And that's why I'm glad we're talking
899
00:43:30.010 --> 00:43:32.730
about this because I think there's people listening who need
900
00:43:32.750 --> 00:43:35.909
to be reminded nobody has all their shit figured out.
901
00:43:36.329 --> 00:43:38.469
And some days you're like, all right, full steam ahead.
902
00:43:38.489 --> 00:43:40.710
I feel really good about this. And other days you're like,
903
00:43:42.099 --> 00:43:43.760
What am I doing? Exactly.
904
00:43:43.860 --> 00:43:44.340
What's the point?
905
00:43:44.380 --> 00:43:45.920
What's happening? What is the point of it all?
906
00:43:46.480 --> 00:43:49.190
And I think it also goes to say like, I
907
00:43:49.210 --> 00:43:50.530
feel like a lot of people are getting to this
908
00:43:50.570 --> 00:43:53.630
point too of stop scrolling. Like obviously it's been now
909
00:43:53.710 --> 00:43:58.250
deemed doom scrolling, right? It used to be fun. Like Instagram,
910
00:43:58.269 --> 00:44:00.880
I remember when Instagram started. It's funny. Natalie and I
911
00:44:00.920 --> 00:44:04.900
talked about this because Instagram was new 15 years ago.
912
00:44:05.760 --> 00:44:08.639
Dom was two. We were going on a trip to
913
00:44:08.659 --> 00:44:11.039
Miami together. It was my first trip ever to Miami.
914
00:44:11.179 --> 00:44:12.619
And she was like, you got to get this new app.
915
00:44:12.739 --> 00:44:16.559
It's like, it's like Facebook, but it's just pictures and
916
00:44:16.599 --> 00:44:20.369
like a caption. And then they were like, it was
917
00:44:20.389 --> 00:44:22.329
like so much fun to just, cause it was just
918
00:44:22.349 --> 00:44:24.969
you and your friends and you're, you know, oh, like
919
00:44:25.010 --> 00:44:26.809
you weren't trying to get likes and you weren't trying
920
00:44:26.829 --> 00:44:29.360
to get follows and you could post as many photos
921
00:44:29.380 --> 00:44:30.940
in the day as you want, like all that stuff.
922
00:44:31.199 --> 00:44:34.179
And it's turned into something so different because now it
923
00:44:34.219 --> 00:44:34.900
is a business.
924
00:44:35.119 --> 00:44:35.340
Yeah.
925
00:44:36.590 --> 00:44:38.579
Which it went from being fun, which is why I'm like, cool,
926
00:44:38.599 --> 00:44:40.599
bring back MySpace. Can this just be fun? Can we
927
00:44:40.699 --> 00:44:42.599
not do business on an app?
928
00:44:42.659 --> 00:44:42.980
Yeah.
929
00:44:43.099 --> 00:44:44.739
Like I just want one app where like if I'm
930
00:44:44.760 --> 00:44:46.400
going to use it, I'm not trying to figure out
931
00:44:46.420 --> 00:44:47.210
how to monetize it.
932
00:44:47.219 --> 00:44:47.400
Yeah.
933
00:44:47.820 --> 00:44:49.590
I'm not trying to keep up with the fucking Joneses.
934
00:44:49.610 --> 00:44:52.750
I'm exhausted. The Joneses have help.
935
00:44:52.869 --> 00:44:53.869
Yeah.
936
00:44:53.989 --> 00:44:57.409
They're called the Kardashians and I know they got a
937
00:44:57.429 --> 00:44:58.570
whole staff. Uh-huh.
938
00:44:59.420 --> 00:45:00.159
A whole staff.
939
00:45:00.179 --> 00:45:02.760
A whole staff. Like they're not over there doing their
940
00:45:02.780 --> 00:45:05.179
own damn content. They probably actually are actually because they
941
00:45:05.219 --> 00:45:09.349
are really good at it. But nonetheless, just stop scrolling sometimes.
942
00:45:09.630 --> 00:45:13.010
Like you get more done. I've really caught myself a
943
00:45:13.050 --> 00:45:15.789
lot lately going, I'm not, I'm like, I'll start to
944
00:45:15.809 --> 00:45:17.769
scroll and I'm like, what is this serving? You have
945
00:45:17.769 --> 00:45:20.650
400 other things you need to do. You're doing this
946
00:45:20.690 --> 00:45:22.969
to prevent you from doing the uncomfortable thing that you
947
00:45:23.010 --> 00:45:26.960
don't feel good at. Like filming the content, whatever it
948
00:45:27.000 --> 00:45:29.559
might be. Just stop and do what you need to do, Autumn.
949
00:45:29.840 --> 00:45:31.699
And when I do that, I actually end up feeling
950
00:45:31.820 --> 00:45:33.329
so much better in my day because I'm like, damn,
951
00:45:33.349 --> 00:45:36.630
I got so much done today. And it's actually only five.
952
00:45:36.730 --> 00:45:38.969
And now at five, I can stop working instead of
953
00:45:39.010 --> 00:45:42.070
it being 10 because I kept doom scrolling to prevent
954
00:45:42.130 --> 00:45:43.489
filming a two minute reel.
955
00:45:44.010 --> 00:45:47.110
Right. I heard Missy Elliott say in an interview one
956
00:45:47.150 --> 00:45:49.880
time because they were asking her about her creative process.
957
00:45:49.960 --> 00:45:52.480
And I'm just checking this because Kent's messaging me and
958
00:45:53.280 --> 00:45:54.239
I just want to make sure it went on.
959
00:45:54.400 --> 00:45:54.599
Okay.
960
00:45:55.619 --> 00:45:57.679
Talking about Dominic. And apparently they're still on track to
961
00:45:57.699 --> 00:45:58.940
be here at 1245. Okay. Sorry.
962
00:45:58.980 --> 00:46:03.679
Go ahead. I saw an interview where Missy Elliott was
963
00:46:03.760 --> 00:46:09.690
asked about her creative process. And I love Missy Elliott's music. Yeah.
964
00:46:09.969 --> 00:46:11.869
And she said a big part of it is she
965
00:46:11.909 --> 00:46:15.900
doesn't listen to other people's music. Because she wants her sound.
966
00:46:16.179 --> 00:46:19.190
I'm sure she does. And it's been years since I've
967
00:46:19.230 --> 00:46:19.469
heard this.
968
00:46:19.489 --> 00:46:20.119
I understand that, by the way.
969
00:46:20.130 --> 00:46:24.630
Go ahead. But she wants her sound to be her sound.
970
00:46:24.670 --> 00:46:27.389
And for her, it wasn't like shade to anyone else,
971
00:46:27.429 --> 00:46:30.030
but she didn't want to get lost in the influence
972
00:46:30.090 --> 00:46:37.519
of other people. Maybe it's more specifically when she's creating. Yeah.
973
00:46:38.159 --> 00:46:40.880
Or it's that obviously she hears things, like you hear
974
00:46:40.900 --> 00:46:43.900
things on TV and commercial, but she doesn't like, sit
975
00:46:44.039 --> 00:46:47.619
and listen to other people's music when she's creating she
976
00:46:47.659 --> 00:46:50.739
really focuses on hers and her ideas and dives into
977
00:46:50.760 --> 00:46:52.510
that and i think it's the same with what we're
978
00:46:52.530 --> 00:46:57.489
talking about like sometimes we feel but if for example
979
00:46:57.849 --> 00:47:01.789
you know not everyone posts for their for their work
980
00:47:01.849 --> 00:47:04.690
but whatever you do you feel like you're comparing your
981
00:47:04.769 --> 00:47:07.510
work and the quality of your work to others and
982
00:47:07.920 --> 00:47:11.280
And there really is something about asking yourself, what do
983
00:47:11.500 --> 00:47:14.400
I want to put out or what do I want
984
00:47:14.440 --> 00:47:17.059
to produce? Even if your job is nothing to do
985
00:47:17.099 --> 00:47:20.780
with like on a platform like that. Instead of whatever
986
00:47:20.820 --> 00:47:22.760
your field is, looking at what other people are doing
987
00:47:22.780 --> 00:47:25.199
in the field and seeing how you can make yourself fit,
988
00:47:25.719 --> 00:47:29.130
just ask, what do I want to provide? Like, how
989
00:47:29.150 --> 00:47:31.010
do I want to be seen or show up in
990
00:47:31.050 --> 00:47:34.289
this space and do that regardless of what others in
991
00:47:34.309 --> 00:47:36.889
the space are doing? And reminding myself of that makes
992
00:47:36.909 --> 00:47:39.730
me feel like, okay, it goes back to, I get
993
00:47:39.769 --> 00:47:42.030
to decide how this looks. It doesn't have to look
994
00:47:42.050 --> 00:47:45.739
like other people, you know? And it's helpful to remember that.
995
00:47:46.880 --> 00:47:48.639
And it is, it's helpful to, because then you feel
996
00:47:48.659 --> 00:47:49.949
like too, like when you put it out, you're like,
997
00:47:49.969 --> 00:47:52.650
this is mine. I, people used to ask me all
998
00:47:52.670 --> 00:47:54.670
the time, like, do you do other body trainers workouts?
999
00:47:54.750 --> 00:47:57.280
And I'm like, no, never. And that's not because of
1000
00:47:57.380 --> 00:48:01.199
a shade or anything like that. I don't ever. It's
1001
00:48:01.239 --> 00:48:03.760
impossible if you start watching everybody else's stuff not for
1002
00:48:03.780 --> 00:48:06.340
it to somehow creep into yours. And I'm like, I
1003
00:48:06.360 --> 00:48:08.619
don't ever want to feel like I'm taking from somebody
1004
00:48:08.719 --> 00:48:10.489
else or like I don't want them to feel like
1005
00:48:10.510 --> 00:48:13.409
I'm taking from them. When I get into my creative mode,
1006
00:48:13.429 --> 00:48:15.510
it's what is the goal of the program? What am
1007
00:48:15.550 --> 00:48:17.929
I trying to help accomplish? And that's part of my
1008
00:48:17.969 --> 00:48:19.969
fun creative process is to get in the gym and
1009
00:48:20.030 --> 00:48:25.869
play and how can I functionally make this interesting but fun? work,
1010
00:48:25.949 --> 00:48:27.730
not just make, you know, like not just does it
1011
00:48:27.750 --> 00:48:30.710
look cool, but like what's right. So no, I never,
1012
00:48:30.730 --> 00:48:34.789
I mean, maybe if we were at an event, you know, like, oh, great.
1013
00:48:34.809 --> 00:48:36.949
Sean's teaching like, oh, he asked the trainers to come
1014
00:48:36.969 --> 00:48:37.599
up on stage with him.
1015
00:48:37.659 --> 00:48:37.860
Sure.
1016
00:48:37.960 --> 00:48:41.440
Absolutely. But no, I would never do somebody's workouts.
1017
00:48:41.659 --> 00:48:41.900
Yeah.
1018
00:48:42.199 --> 00:48:43.980
And people were always like, well, is that because you're,
1019
00:48:44.440 --> 00:48:46.699
you think you're better? And I'm like, no, it's just.
1020
00:48:47.059 --> 00:48:48.280
You're in your process.
1021
00:48:48.380 --> 00:48:51.340
I'm in my process and, and I want to keep
1022
00:48:51.389 --> 00:48:52.369
that bubble. Yeah.
1023
00:48:53.010 --> 00:48:59.360
And so I think, Thinking about that also for your social,
1024
00:48:59.440 --> 00:49:00.960
for your posts, for things like that.
1025
00:49:01.000 --> 00:49:01.420
Question.
1026
00:49:01.780 --> 00:49:02.050
What?
1027
00:49:02.610 --> 00:49:04.389
Did you ever think about, this is going to hear
1028
00:49:04.409 --> 00:49:06.329
me out. Do you ever think about unfollowing a bunch
1029
00:49:06.349 --> 00:49:08.929
of people? Not to be bitchy, but because like sometimes
1030
00:49:09.110 --> 00:49:12.369
that comparison, like I follow so many of the girls
1031
00:49:12.409 --> 00:49:13.869
that are a part of the same company as me
1032
00:49:14.130 --> 00:49:17.130
and I love them. So I like following them. But
1033
00:49:17.170 --> 00:49:18.869
I have had days where I'm like, maybe I should
1034
00:49:18.909 --> 00:49:23.730
just unfollow. because it's the stuff that's stressing me out.
1035
00:49:24.010 --> 00:49:24.250
Mm-hmm.
1036
00:49:25.030 --> 00:49:27.489
But also Instagram no longer serves you up a real-time
1037
00:49:27.550 --> 00:49:29.599
feed of just the people you follow. It'll just serve
1038
00:49:29.619 --> 00:49:31.380
me up a bunch of other fucking people I don't follow.
1039
00:49:31.440 --> 00:49:33.599
There are people I follow that I'm like, I wish
1040
00:49:33.639 --> 00:49:35.099
they would pop up on my feed because I can't
1041
00:49:35.119 --> 00:49:36.820
remember their name. But I know I followed them.
1042
00:49:36.900 --> 00:49:40.050
I know. And you're like, thanks, Instagram. Like the whole
1043
00:49:40.090 --> 00:49:42.690
point of following somebody was so I would see their stuff.
1044
00:49:42.750 --> 00:49:44.789
I don't need you to serve me up 400 people
1045
00:49:44.909 --> 00:49:48.329
I don't know. Yeah. If I wanted the news, I
1046
00:49:48.349 --> 00:49:50.360
would turn it on. Stop stressing me out.
1047
00:49:50.730 --> 00:49:51.010
Right.
1048
00:49:51.030 --> 00:49:52.070
I purposely.
1049
00:49:53.980 --> 00:49:55.239
When I want to look and see what's going on
1050
00:49:55.260 --> 00:49:56.440
in the world, I will. And then I want to
1051
00:49:56.460 --> 00:49:58.079
be able to turn it off. Stop serving it up
1052
00:49:58.099 --> 00:49:58.360
to me.
1053
00:49:59.699 --> 00:50:05.349
Yeah. I don't... I have never felt like unfollowing anyone,
1054
00:50:05.369 --> 00:50:08.090
but there are times that I realize, okay, I'm not...
1055
00:50:08.489 --> 00:50:13.320
This isn't helping produce anything good in this moment, whether
1056
00:50:13.380 --> 00:50:19.300
it's creativity or happiness or motivation, even just for my
1057
00:50:19.360 --> 00:50:23.679
personal self. Sometimes I'm just getting... I get lost in it.
1058
00:50:23.699 --> 00:50:27.260
And so I just step away. But I think for
1059
00:50:27.340 --> 00:50:33.480
some people, it is good to, to remove that. I have,
1060
00:50:33.599 --> 00:50:36.699
this is, it's a little bit different, but I found
1061
00:50:36.739 --> 00:50:41.800
myself getting mad about some people, some things people were posting.
1062
00:50:41.969 --> 00:50:44.590
And I was like, unfollowing is an option that I
1063
00:50:44.630 --> 00:50:46.590
have a right to take. And I did do that
1064
00:50:46.670 --> 00:50:50.190
because it's in a different way. It's still protecting your. Yeah.
1065
00:50:51.940 --> 00:50:52.260
Peace.
1066
00:50:52.420 --> 00:50:55.019
Peace. Yeah. Your happiness. Your joy.
1067
00:50:55.099 --> 00:50:57.920
But it's like nowadays, it's like if you unfollow somebody,
1068
00:50:59.679 --> 00:51:00.860
you just started a war.
1069
00:51:00.880 --> 00:51:01.340
Right.
1070
00:51:01.400 --> 00:51:05.530
And you're like, it wasn't that serious. Like, honestly, sometimes
1071
00:51:05.550 --> 00:51:07.139
take it as a compliment. Like I said, sometimes it's
1072
00:51:07.179 --> 00:51:09.710
just like, your content's really good and it's stressing me
1073
00:51:09.809 --> 00:51:12.050
out about mine. So like, but you have to almost
1074
00:51:12.070 --> 00:51:14.670
like mute them. Like you could mute instead of unfollow.
1075
00:51:14.690 --> 00:51:14.969
Right.
1076
00:51:15.010 --> 00:51:18.550
So that it doesn't. Mm-hmm. And I honestly, I haven't. Like,
1077
00:51:18.590 --> 00:51:21.010
I haven't unfollowed anybody. And I haven't even muted people
1078
00:51:21.030 --> 00:51:23.860
because I'm like, that's my own insecurity. That's ego getting
1079
00:51:23.900 --> 00:51:25.940
in the way. And I don't want to operate from
1080
00:51:25.960 --> 00:51:29.579
that standpoint. So I'm like, no, no. Like, you like
1081
00:51:29.619 --> 00:51:31.280
these girls. You want to be able to support these
1082
00:51:31.320 --> 00:51:32.820
girls as well. You want to be able to clap
1083
00:51:32.880 --> 00:51:34.699
for them. You can't clap for them if they're muted.
1084
00:51:34.719 --> 00:51:35.139
Right.
1085
00:51:35.159 --> 00:51:35.780
And that's fucked up.
1086
00:51:35.960 --> 00:51:36.219
Right.
1087
00:51:36.280 --> 00:51:40.659
So like, get yourself in check, Autumn. Mm-hmm. And deal
1088
00:51:40.679 --> 00:51:42.219
with it. Like, if you don't want to see it,
1089
00:51:42.239 --> 00:51:43.119
then don't scroll today.
1090
00:51:43.480 --> 00:51:43.719
Yeah.
1091
00:51:43.739 --> 00:51:46.150
Or don't scroll in this moment. But we're not going
1092
00:51:46.170 --> 00:51:48.650
to mute or unfollow just because our ego is like,
1093
00:51:48.730 --> 00:51:51.630
my content isn't as good. But it does put you
1094
00:51:51.650 --> 00:51:54.489
in that space of like feeling just, I don't know
1095
00:51:54.530 --> 00:51:58.349
the trends. It all ties back to that. It makes
1096
00:51:58.409 --> 00:51:59.309
me feel a little old.
1097
00:51:59.610 --> 00:52:00.150
Washed up.
1098
00:52:00.250 --> 00:52:01.869
It makes me feel a little like I'm not on
1099
00:52:01.909 --> 00:52:04.630
the trends. And then I'm like, I'm also trying to
1100
00:52:04.670 --> 00:52:09.400
build a company that I want to be enormous.
1101
00:52:10.000 --> 00:52:10.260
Right.
1102
00:52:10.280 --> 00:52:12.340
I don't have time to scroll the trends. Yeah.
1103
00:52:12.360 --> 00:52:12.460
Yeah.
1104
00:52:13.019 --> 00:52:14.639
I'm dealing with semi-trucks.
1105
00:52:14.800 --> 00:52:16.400
Yeah, right.
1106
00:52:17.179 --> 00:52:19.840
That's the real truth. So it's just all those things
1107
00:52:19.900 --> 00:52:22.340
and just remembering that and going, we're all going to
1108
00:52:22.360 --> 00:52:24.909
get older. So it is what it is. That's a
1109
00:52:24.969 --> 00:52:25.730
gift to get older.
1110
00:52:26.090 --> 00:52:28.989
It is a gift. I was telling someone, I think
1111
00:52:29.070 --> 00:52:32.090
for me, because I was talking to my friend actually
1112
00:52:32.150 --> 00:52:35.110
on the drive here, I was like, I'm really struggling.
1113
00:52:35.130 --> 00:52:38.329
I think if I'm being honest with myself, as ridiculous
1114
00:52:38.389 --> 00:52:41.710
as it sounds, with aging. And she was like, well,
1115
00:52:41.730 --> 00:52:44.480
what about it? Are you struggling with? And I said,
1116
00:52:47.070 --> 00:52:52.230
in our society, it appears that when people age, they
1117
00:52:52.349 --> 00:52:58.010
lose relevance. And that is something... Except J-Lo. Except J-Lo. Well,
1118
00:52:58.110 --> 00:53:00.349
and I can actually think of a lot of exceptions.
1119
00:53:00.860 --> 00:53:03.239
And that's when I say... That's when I remind myself
1120
00:53:03.719 --> 00:53:06.900
that I don't have to look like... And when I
1121
00:53:06.940 --> 00:53:09.539
say look like, I mean my story. Right. I don't
1122
00:53:09.559 --> 00:53:13.769
mean physically how I look. But that too... Also, in
1123
00:53:14.050 --> 00:53:18.300
every way, I don't have to look like other examples
1124
00:53:18.340 --> 00:53:21.780
that I've seen. And I get to choose the kind
1125
00:53:21.820 --> 00:53:26.219
of example I want to set about what this is like.
1126
00:53:26.360 --> 00:53:28.980
So it's just a good conversation to have because the
1127
00:53:29.019 --> 00:53:33.489
truth is, I think that people... feel like this all
1128
00:53:33.530 --> 00:53:35.659
the time. And if I'm being honest with myself, I
1129
00:53:35.679 --> 00:53:37.619
can remember times in my twenties where I felt like,
1130
00:53:37.920 --> 00:53:39.880
what the fuck am I doing? And then, so I
1131
00:53:39.920 --> 00:53:42.219
guess the, what the fuck am I doing? It's just
1132
00:53:42.239 --> 00:53:44.780
a part of life. Creeps up a little bit and
1133
00:53:45.059 --> 00:53:47.440
you have to, it's just nice to talk about it
1134
00:53:47.480 --> 00:53:52.699
because then you know that everyone faces that question at times.
1135
00:53:52.840 --> 00:53:54.750
If it makes you feel any better. My poor 17
1136
00:53:54.750 --> 00:53:57.789
year old son has those moments every day where he's like,
1137
00:53:57.909 --> 00:53:59.329
I don't know what I want to do with my life.
1138
00:53:59.389 --> 00:54:01.070
And like, what am I going to do for a job?
1139
00:54:01.110 --> 00:54:03.690
And I'm like, honey, You're 17.
1140
00:54:03.690 --> 00:54:03.989
Right.
1141
00:54:04.230 --> 00:54:06.889
You have what I thought I was going to do
1142
00:54:06.929 --> 00:54:09.289
at 17 and what I'm doing at 45 are not
1143
00:54:09.329 --> 00:54:11.789
the same thing. Right. What I went to college for
1144
00:54:11.869 --> 00:54:13.329
and what I'm actually doing, it's not the same thing.
1145
00:54:13.590 --> 00:54:16.210
So my point being is obviously like even 17-year-olds are
1146
00:54:16.230 --> 00:54:18.869
feeling it. Like I'm supposed to have it all figured out.
1147
00:54:18.889 --> 00:54:21.090
There's these kids that are 10 years old making $ 20
1148
00:54:20.849 --> 00:54:23.550
million a year doing YouTube videos. Like am I supposed
1149
00:54:23.570 --> 00:54:24.030
to be that?
1150
00:54:24.929 --> 00:54:25.170
Yeah.
1151
00:54:25.489 --> 00:54:27.739
And my kid wants nothing to do with social. Like
1152
00:54:28.019 --> 00:54:30.539
he got off social two years ago. I think he
1153
00:54:30.579 --> 00:54:33.070
snaps with his friends and that's about it. he'll ask
1154
00:54:33.110 --> 00:54:34.730
to use my phone to look at Instagram. If he
1155
00:54:34.769 --> 00:54:36.050
wants to look at somebody, he'll be like, can I
1156
00:54:36.090 --> 00:54:39.050
look at Jacob call? You're on your Instagram. I'm like, fine.
1157
00:54:39.090 --> 00:54:42.289
He doesn't want great. That actually makes me happy. Remember
1158
00:54:42.329 --> 00:54:43.730
when we didn't have Instagram?
1159
00:54:43.750 --> 00:54:44.070
Yeah.
1160
00:54:44.110 --> 00:54:47.199
Remember when we had disposable cameras and you had your
1161
00:54:47.239 --> 00:54:49.579
flip phone and you're the best night of your life
1162
00:54:49.639 --> 00:54:50.829
because you just were there. Yep.
1163
00:54:52.019 --> 00:54:52.400
Totally.
1164
00:54:53.159 --> 00:54:57.489
And now we're like glazed over.
1165
00:54:57.510 --> 00:54:58.750
Good for him, man.
1166
00:54:58.969 --> 00:55:00.289
I know. I'm like, what's that life like?
1167
00:55:00.989 --> 00:55:03.630
But yeah, so, well, this has been a good talk.
1168
00:55:03.670 --> 00:55:04.030
This has been good.
1169
00:55:04.309 --> 00:55:07.650
And I hope that you guys listening have enjoyed it too.
1170
00:55:07.730 --> 00:55:10.889
And I just want you to, at the very least,
1171
00:55:11.150 --> 00:55:14.550
next time you're feeling that like, what am I doing?
1172
00:55:14.829 --> 00:55:18.719
What is the point? Where have all my efforts gone? What,
1173
00:55:18.780 --> 00:55:21.840
you know, the things that when life takes its turns
1174
00:55:21.900 --> 00:55:25.639
that life always takes, you can know, well, you know what?
1175
00:55:25.980 --> 00:55:28.159
My friends, Autumn and Donald feel this way too sometimes.
1176
00:55:28.260 --> 00:55:32.820
And we just keep on going. And remember that you
1177
00:55:32.860 --> 00:55:35.780
get to decide. For me, this has really helped. I
1178
00:55:35.800 --> 00:55:38.400
get to decide what this looks like. And it feels
1179
00:55:38.480 --> 00:55:41.019
to me like in the moment, taking my power back.
1180
00:55:41.079 --> 00:55:42.679
It doesn't mean all of a sudden I have control
1181
00:55:42.719 --> 00:55:43.360
of everything.
1182
00:55:43.380 --> 00:55:43.440
No.
1183
00:55:43.820 --> 00:55:47.420
But it gives me more hope and excitement about what
1184
00:55:47.760 --> 00:55:48.480
is possible.
1185
00:55:48.659 --> 00:55:51.940
Which is anything, by the way. What's possible at 40
1186
00:55:51.940 --> 00:55:55.280
and what's possible at 20 are the same thing. Yeah. Like,
1187
00:55:55.650 --> 00:55:57.869
if anything, we have more life experience that you can
1188
00:55:58.110 --> 00:56:00.570
pull from and build off of and more connections. So
1189
00:56:00.610 --> 00:56:03.739
it's like, it's all the mindset. Is it a rebirth
1190
00:56:03.900 --> 00:56:05.679
or is it a starting over?
1191
00:56:05.980 --> 00:56:06.219
Right.
1192
00:56:06.380 --> 00:56:08.579
It's like how you look at it. So yeah, I
1193
00:56:08.619 --> 00:56:10.960
hope it's been a good conversation for everybody. You know,
1194
00:56:11.000 --> 00:56:13.860
if you want to fill us in on how you're feeling,
1195
00:56:13.909 --> 00:56:15.349
if you want to ask us questions about it, or
1196
00:56:15.369 --> 00:56:17.150
if you just got like some raunchy phone, a friend
1197
00:56:17.170 --> 00:56:21.530
that you need some advice on everything's perfect podcast at gmail.com.
1198
00:56:21.690 --> 00:56:24.690
That's right. And if you aren't following us on Instagram,
1199
00:56:24.750 --> 00:56:26.739
go ahead, head over there and give us a follow.
1200
00:56:26.780 --> 00:56:30.639
It's everything's perfect official. And thank you so much for listening,
1201
00:56:30.659 --> 00:56:31.159
you guys.
1202
00:56:31.179 --> 00:56:34.599
Yeah, thanks for letting us have our midlife crisis live.
1203
00:56:35.000 --> 00:56:38.289
There may be more, but we'll keep you posted. See
1204
00:56:38.409 --> 00:56:39.050
you next time.
1205
00:56:39.349 --> 00:56:39.690
Bye.