WEBVTT
00:03.847 --> 00:05.609
[SPEAKER_01]: welcome to courageously awake.
00:06.269 --> 00:18.140
[SPEAKER_01]: On Rochelle Townsend, a voice liberator who guides women out of shame, silence, and self-abandement into truth, self-trust, and embodied visibility.
00:19.040 --> 00:30.590
[SPEAKER_01]: Each week we explore courageous stories, practical tools and connective presence to help you with the shame, trust your voice, and become visible in your truth.
00:31.491 --> 00:36.496
[SPEAKER_01]: so you too can lift free, express, and fully alive.
00:37.377 --> 00:38.999
[SPEAKER_01]: Let's wake up together.
00:45.205 --> 00:48.469
[SPEAKER_01]: And here we go with another week of the podcast.
00:50.234 --> 00:53.816
[SPEAKER_01]: Can I tell you something I wish someone had told me years ago?
00:54.816 --> 00:58.858
[SPEAKER_01]: Sometimes the reason you stay silent isn't because you don't know the truth.
00:59.418 --> 01:02.460
[SPEAKER_01]: It's because you are know what telling the truth could cost.
01:03.940 --> 01:06.982
[SPEAKER_01]: And I know that feeling, oh, too well.
01:09.102 --> 01:18.947
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to go into a personal story and I'm going to try to not go into too much detail simply because it's trigger warning.
01:20.682 --> 01:48.307
[SPEAKER_01]: But I feel like it's important for others to see too that once you kind of start remembering your truth and then speaking it That is an excellent way for you to start healing start healing from the self abandonment
01:49.545 --> 02:05.532
[SPEAKER_01]: So owning your truth and be in brave to speak it, knowing what the consequences could possibly be is really just one step of you returning to yourself.
02:05.552 --> 02:17.558
[SPEAKER_01]: So I know like the moment that I realized that speaking my truth really wasn't simply about telling my story
02:18.661 --> 02:22.644
[SPEAKER_01]: Speaking of my truth, man, I was gonna be risking relationships.
02:23.564 --> 02:29.128
[SPEAKER_01]: People's opinions, family dynamics, being misunderstood.
02:29.148 --> 02:34.411
[SPEAKER_01]: The hardest part wasn't finding my voice.
02:34.591 --> 02:39.254
[SPEAKER_01]: It was deciding that my piece was worth more than everyone else's approval.
02:40.135 --> 02:48.000
[SPEAKER_01]: So when I decided to go file a police report on my grandfather,
02:49.223 --> 02:54.806
[SPEAKER_01]: For the abuse, I endured with him when I was a little girl.
02:58.268 --> 03:07.854
[SPEAKER_01]: I obviously was scared to death, and I was terrified of what the fallout was going to be after the fact.
03:08.934 --> 03:13.577
[SPEAKER_01]: Did I hope and pray for best case scenario that he would confess?
03:17.352 --> 03:19.134
[SPEAKER_01]: Possibly even apologize.
03:19.154 --> 03:22.297
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, did I receive any of that?
03:23.038 --> 03:23.878
[SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely not.
03:24.980 --> 03:41.716
[SPEAKER_01]: Instead He told my entire family what I had done and then my extended family then they didn't believe me
03:42.169 --> 03:44.211
[SPEAKER_01]: They thought I had alternative motives.
03:44.471 --> 03:46.873
[SPEAKER_01]: They thought that I was after his money.
03:47.714 --> 03:52.577
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I know, if I was after his money, I would have filed a civil case.
03:53.618 --> 03:57.481
[SPEAKER_01]: I would have not have gone and filed charges.
03:58.903 --> 03:59.823
[SPEAKER_01]: So there's a difference.
04:02.565 --> 04:05.908
[SPEAKER_01]: I was looking for ownership.
04:06.809 --> 04:10.312
[SPEAKER_01]: I was looking for him to own up to what he had done.
04:11.183 --> 04:18.968
[SPEAKER_01]: I was looking for the dirty secrets that my family kept for years to be outed.
04:19.788 --> 04:31.656
[SPEAKER_01]: I was being the whistleblower and that cost me my relationship with my extended family.
04:32.676 --> 04:38.660
[SPEAKER_01]: All of my aunts, my uncles, and almost all of my first cousins.
04:46.930 --> 04:51.894
[SPEAKER_01]: in silence, which has really been able to feel the generational cycle of being quiet, and I was able to do that.
05:10.298 --> 05:25.589
[SPEAKER_01]: Feet isn't always lying, sometimes it is re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re
05:39.197 --> 05:52.588
[SPEAKER_01]: And I wish I had, you know, a magic phrase to wear, um, gaining the courage to speak your truth.
05:56.331 --> 05:57.912
[SPEAKER_01]: Obviously it can be very scary.
05:57.932 --> 05:59.253
[SPEAKER_01]: It can be very intimidating.
05:59.273 --> 06:00.574
[SPEAKER_01]: A lot of anxiety, a lot
06:08.965 --> 06:11.187
[SPEAKER_01]: Your truth is everything, right?
06:11.267 --> 06:17.733
[SPEAKER_01]: It's not necessarily just like secret abuse that you endured whenever you're a child.
06:18.313 --> 06:24.118
[SPEAKER_01]: Speaking your truth can also be, you know, what you actually want to have for dinner.
06:24.298 --> 06:26.100
[SPEAKER_01]: Where do you actually want to go out to eat?
06:26.160 --> 06:27.801
[SPEAKER_01]: What restaurant do you actually want?
06:27.842 --> 06:30.764
[SPEAKER_01]: Instead of staying for the 17th time, oh, I don't care.
06:30.944 --> 06:31.685
[SPEAKER_01]: What do you feel like?
06:33.446 --> 06:34.047
[SPEAKER_01]: Get a good you care.
06:35.445 --> 06:37.046
[SPEAKER_01]: you do know what sounds good.
06:37.346 --> 06:39.927
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, you do know what you want to have to eat.
06:41.107 --> 06:55.053
[SPEAKER_01]: But you know that usually the restaurant that you want to choose, then he has something to say about it and you know he's probably going to cry about it, because that's really not his favorite place, even though you've been craving there, you know, Southwest spicy egg rolls for weeks.
06:56.273 --> 06:57.593
[SPEAKER_01]: So instead, oh, I don't care,
07:06.430 --> 07:28.384
[SPEAKER_01]: Many times you will fill the anxiety in the fear of boil up because you've been in similar situations like that before and maybe it's been many years that you've actually have spoken up and said your truth and it didn't go well, but you still remember it your body remembers it.
07:30.704 --> 07:36.887
[SPEAKER_01]: and your body obviously is trying to keep you safe and it doesn't want to feel the discomfort again.
07:37.368 --> 07:50.695
[SPEAKER_01]: So therefore, fear bubbles up, and that's where self-abandement kicks in, and then that's where you decide just to stay quiet and small and go with the flow, right?
07:53.956 --> 07:56.598
[SPEAKER_01]: Healing isn't convincing yourself to stop being afraid.
07:56.698 --> 07:58.259
[SPEAKER_01]: Healing is slowly teaching yourself
08:06.128 --> 08:22.454
[SPEAKER_01]: And sometimes you have to remember too, when you speak your truth and if that creates turmoil and relationships, then maybe those relationships really weren't meant for you to stay within your world anyways.
08:24.795 --> 08:34.919
[SPEAKER_01]: Sometimes people they like to keep you in your little box, and when you go outside of that box, they don't really know how to react to that.
08:36.837 --> 08:40.841
[SPEAKER_01]: And so sometimes their reaction can be very negative.
08:42.882 --> 08:56.154
[SPEAKER_01]: But then in the big picture, if you are surrounded by people that you have to be fake for, do they really deserve a spot in your life, you know what I mean?
08:59.577 --> 09:02.219
[SPEAKER_01]: So, a remembering point for sure is,
09:04.095 --> 09:09.659
[SPEAKER_01]: where are you protected yourself from a version of a life that no longer exists?
09:10.879 --> 09:21.846
[SPEAKER_01]: And then another reflection for this week too is what truth have I already been carrying that I'm ready to stop carrying a loan?
09:26.349 --> 09:28.490
[SPEAKER_01]: Just some of my reflections for the week.
09:29.565 --> 09:36.770
[SPEAKER_01]: And if you're ready to start practice here in yourself and trust in yourself within a community, that's exactly why I created true sessions.
09:38.031 --> 09:40.352
[SPEAKER_01]: True sections, the link is in the bio.
09:40.712 --> 09:43.554
[SPEAKER_01]: This is the second link to a four weeks.
09:44.235 --> 09:45.356
[SPEAKER_01]: Everything is recorded.
09:45.436 --> 09:51.320
[SPEAKER_01]: So if you're not able to meet with us live at 11 a.m. Central, don't sweat it.
09:51.340 --> 09:56.303
[SPEAKER_01]: The recording will be sent directly to your email.
09:58.566 --> 10:07.212
[SPEAKER_01]: All this course really is designed for, I mean, I say course because that's how it's like structure like a course, but really it's just like a journey.
10:07.892 --> 10:24.824
[SPEAKER_01]: It's starting to help you see where your beliefs have stemmed from and then help you start to decipher is that what I truly believe or is that what I was taught to believe?
10:26.781 --> 10:28.081
[SPEAKER_01]: Is that really my truth?
10:28.762 --> 10:30.242
[SPEAKER_01]: Or is that someone else's truth?
10:30.722 --> 10:31.982
[SPEAKER_01]: Is that how I really feel?
10:32.583 --> 10:35.243
[SPEAKER_01]: Or is that how someone else told me I should feel?
10:35.903 --> 10:37.704
[SPEAKER_01]: So that's what true sessions is all about.
10:44.426 --> 10:47.167
[SPEAKER_01]: And also, I want to also invite you to.
10:47.187 --> 10:51.588
[SPEAKER_01]: I also created a seven day free podcast series.
10:52.228 --> 10:54.729
[SPEAKER_01]: So if our conversation that we've had today
10:57.207 --> 10:59.669
[SPEAKER_01]: Start there with the free private podcast.
10:59.689 --> 11:04.271
[SPEAKER_01]: The link to that is also my show notes, as well as my bio over Instagram.
11:06.033 --> 11:19.041
[SPEAKER_01]: And really, today's conversation is just to help you really to start to learn where in your life have you a band and your truth?
11:20.481 --> 11:25.965
[SPEAKER_01]: And how do you get back to speaking it?
11:28.672 --> 11:33.574
[SPEAKER_01]: So stay courageously awake, keep listening, and trust what feels true.
11:33.594 --> 11:34.875
[SPEAKER_01]: Until next week.
11:40.477 --> 11:41.718
[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you so much for listening.
11:42.598 --> 11:44.659
[SPEAKER_01]: Your support truly means the world to me.
11:44.679 --> 11:46.560
[SPEAKER_01]: I would love to connect with you.
11:47.300 --> 11:51.362
[SPEAKER_01]: The best way to find me is going to be on Instagram at Rochelle Terrensen.ing.
11:52.182 --> 11:53.063
[SPEAKER_01]: Drop me a DM.
11:53.123 --> 11:54.964
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm letting you know how this week's episode
00:03.847 --> 00:05.609
[SPEAKER_01]: welcome to courageously awake.
00:06.269 --> 00:18.140
[SPEAKER_01]: On Rochelle Townsend, a voice liberator who guides women out of shame, silence, and self-abandement into truth, self-trust, and embodied visibility.
00:19.040 --> 00:30.590
[SPEAKER_01]: Each week we explore courageous stories, practical tools and connective presence to help you with the shame, trust your voice, and become visible in your truth.
00:31.491 --> 00:36.496
[SPEAKER_01]: so you too can lift free, express, and fully alive.
00:37.377 --> 00:38.999
[SPEAKER_01]: Let's wake up together.
00:45.205 --> 00:48.469
[SPEAKER_01]: And here we go with another week of the podcast.
00:50.234 --> 00:53.816
[SPEAKER_01]: Can I tell you something I wish someone had told me years ago?
00:54.816 --> 00:58.858
[SPEAKER_01]: Sometimes the reason you stay silent isn't because you don't know the truth.
00:59.418 --> 01:02.460
[SPEAKER_01]: It's because you are know what telling the truth could cost.
01:03.940 --> 01:06.982
[SPEAKER_01]: And I know that feeling, oh, too well.
01:09.102 --> 01:18.947
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to go into a personal story and I'm going to try to not go into too much detail simply because it's trigger warning.
01:20.682 --> 01:48.307
[SPEAKER_01]: But I feel like it's important for others to see too that once you kind of start remembering your truth and then speaking it That is an excellent way for you to start healing start healing from the self abandonment
01:49.545 --> 02:05.532
[SPEAKER_01]: So owning your truth and be in brave to speak it, knowing what the consequences could possibly be is really just one step of you returning to yourself.
02:05.552 --> 02:17.558
[SPEAKER_01]: So I know like the moment that I realized that speaking my truth really wasn't simply about telling my story
02:18.661 --> 02:22.644
[SPEAKER_01]: Speaking of my truth, man, I was gonna be risking relationships.
02:23.564 --> 02:29.128
[SPEAKER_01]: People's opinions, family dynamics, being misunderstood.
02:29.148 --> 02:34.411
[SPEAKER_01]: The hardest part wasn't finding my voice.
02:34.591 --> 02:39.254
[SPEAKER_01]: It was deciding that my piece was worth more than everyone else's approval.
02:40.135 --> 02:48.000
[SPEAKER_01]: So when I decided to go file a police report on my grandfather,
02:49.223 --> 02:54.806
[SPEAKER_01]: For the abuse, I endured with him when I was a little girl.
02:58.268 --> 03:07.854
[SPEAKER_01]: I obviously was scared to death, and I was terrified of what the fallout was going to be after the fact.
03:08.934 --> 03:13.577
[SPEAKER_01]: Did I hope and pray for best case scenario that he would confess?
03:17.352 --> 03:19.134
[SPEAKER_01]: Possibly even apologize.
03:19.154 --> 03:22.297
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, did I receive any of that?
03:23.038 --> 03:23.878
[SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely not.
03:24.980 --> 03:41.716
[SPEAKER_01]: Instead He told my entire family what I had done and then my extended family then they didn't believe me
03:42.169 --> 03:44.211
[SPEAKER_01]: They thought I had alternative motives.
03:44.471 --> 03:46.873
[SPEAKER_01]: They thought that I was after his money.
03:47.714 --> 03:52.577
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I know, if I was after his money, I would have filed a civil case.
03:53.618 --> 03:57.481
[SPEAKER_01]: I would have not have gone and filed charges.
03:58.903 --> 03:59.823
[SPEAKER_01]: So there's a difference.
04:02.565 --> 04:05.908
[SPEAKER_01]: I was looking for ownership.
04:06.809 --> 04:10.312
[SPEAKER_01]: I was looking for him to own up to what he had done.
04:11.183 --> 04:18.968
[SPEAKER_01]: I was looking for the dirty secrets that my family kept for years to be outed.
04:19.788 --> 04:31.656
[SPEAKER_01]: I was being the whistleblower and that cost me my relationship with my extended family.
04:32.676 --> 04:38.660
[SPEAKER_01]: All of my aunts, my uncles, and almost all of my first cousins.
04:46.930 --> 04:51.894
[SPEAKER_01]: in silence, which has really been able to feel the generational cycle of being quiet, and I was able to do that.
05:10.298 --> 05:25.589
[SPEAKER_01]: Feet isn't always lying, sometimes it is re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re
05:39.197 --> 05:52.588
[SPEAKER_01]: And I wish I had, you know, a magic phrase to wear, um, gaining the courage to speak your truth.
05:56.331 --> 05:57.912
[SPEAKER_01]: Obviously it can be very scary.
05:57.932 --> 05:59.253
[SPEAKER_01]: It can be very intimidating.
05:59.273 --> 06:00.574
[SPEAKER_01]: A lot of anxiety, a lot
06:08.965 --> 06:11.187
[SPEAKER_01]: Your truth is everything, right?
06:11.267 --> 06:17.733
[SPEAKER_01]: It's not necessarily just like secret abuse that you endured whenever you're a child.
06:18.313 --> 06:24.118
[SPEAKER_01]: Speaking your truth can also be, you know, what you actually want to have for dinner.
06:24.298 --> 06:26.100
[SPEAKER_01]: Where do you actually want to go out to eat?
06:26.160 --> 06:27.801
[SPEAKER_01]: What restaurant do you actually want?
06:27.842 --> 06:30.764
[SPEAKER_01]: Instead of staying for the 17th time, oh, I don't care.
06:30.944 --> 06:31.685
[SPEAKER_01]: What do you feel like?
06:33.446 --> 06:34.047
[SPEAKER_01]: Get a good you care.
06:35.445 --> 06:37.046
[SPEAKER_01]: you do know what sounds good.
06:37.346 --> 06:39.927
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, you do know what you want to have to eat.
06:41.107 --> 06:55.053
[SPEAKER_01]: But you know that usually the restaurant that you want to choose, then he has something to say about it and you know he's probably going to cry about it, because that's really not his favorite place, even though you've been craving there, you know, Southwest spicy egg rolls for weeks.
06:56.273 --> 06:57.593
[SPEAKER_01]: So instead, oh, I don't care,
07:06.430 --> 07:28.384
[SPEAKER_01]: Many times you will fill the anxiety in the fear of boil up because you've been in similar situations like that before and maybe it's been many years that you've actually have spoken up and said your truth and it didn't go well, but you still remember it your body remembers it.
07:30.704 --> 07:36.887
[SPEAKER_01]: and your body obviously is trying to keep you safe and it doesn't want to feel the discomfort again.
07:37.368 --> 07:50.695
[SPEAKER_01]: So therefore, fear bubbles up, and that's where self-abandement kicks in, and then that's where you decide just to stay quiet and small and go with the flow, right?
07:53.956 --> 07:56.598
[SPEAKER_01]: Healing isn't convincing yourself to stop being afraid.
07:56.698 --> 07:58.259
[SPEAKER_01]: Healing is slowly teaching yourself
08:06.128 --> 08:22.454
[SPEAKER_01]: And sometimes you have to remember too, when you speak your truth and if that creates turmoil and relationships, then maybe those relationships really weren't meant for you to stay within your world anyways.
08:24.795 --> 08:34.919
[SPEAKER_01]: Sometimes people they like to keep you in your little box, and when you go outside of that box, they don't really know how to react to that.
08:36.837 --> 08:40.841
[SPEAKER_01]: And so sometimes their reaction can be very negative.
08:42.882 --> 08:56.154
[SPEAKER_01]: But then in the big picture, if you are surrounded by people that you have to be fake for, do they really deserve a spot in your life, you know what I mean?
08:59.577 --> 09:02.219
[SPEAKER_01]: So, a remembering point for sure is,
09:04.095 --> 09:09.659
[SPEAKER_01]: where are you protected yourself from a version of a life that no longer exists?
09:10.879 --> 09:21.846
[SPEAKER_01]: And then another reflection for this week too is what truth have I already been carrying that I'm ready to stop carrying a loan?
09:26.349 --> 09:28.490
[SPEAKER_01]: Just some of my reflections for the week.
09:29.565 --> 09:36.770
[SPEAKER_01]: And if you're ready to start practice here in yourself and trust in yourself within a community, that's exactly why I created true sessions.
09:38.031 --> 09:40.352
[SPEAKER_01]: True sections, the link is in the bio.
09:40.712 --> 09:43.554
[SPEAKER_01]: This is the second link to a four weeks.
09:44.235 --> 09:45.356
[SPEAKER_01]: Everything is recorded.
09:45.436 --> 09:51.320
[SPEAKER_01]: So if you're not able to meet with us live at 11 a.m. Central, don't sweat it.
09:51.340 --> 09:56.303
[SPEAKER_01]: The recording will be sent directly to your email.
09:58.566 --> 10:07.212
[SPEAKER_01]: All this course really is designed for, I mean, I say course because that's how it's like structure like a course, but really it's just like a journey.
10:07.892 --> 10:24.824
[SPEAKER_01]: It's starting to help you see where your beliefs have stemmed from and then help you start to decipher is that what I truly believe or is that what I was taught to believe?
10:26.781 --> 10:28.081
[SPEAKER_01]: Is that really my truth?
10:28.762 --> 10:30.242
[SPEAKER_01]: Or is that someone else's truth?
10:30.722 --> 10:31.982
[SPEAKER_01]: Is that how I really feel?
10:32.583 --> 10:35.243
[SPEAKER_01]: Or is that how someone else told me I should feel?
10:35.903 --> 10:37.704
[SPEAKER_01]: So that's what true sessions is all about.
10:44.426 --> 10:47.167
[SPEAKER_01]: And also, I want to also invite you to.
10:47.187 --> 10:51.588
[SPEAKER_01]: I also created a seven day free podcast series.
10:52.228 --> 10:54.729
[SPEAKER_01]: So if our conversation that we've had today
10:57.207 --> 10:59.669
[SPEAKER_01]: Start there with the free private podcast.
10:59.689 --> 11:04.271
[SPEAKER_01]: The link to that is also my show notes, as well as my bio over Instagram.
11:06.033 --> 11:19.041
[SPEAKER_01]: And really, today's conversation is just to help you really to start to learn where in your life have you a band and your truth?
11:20.481 --> 11:25.965
[SPEAKER_01]: And how do you get back to speaking it?
11:28.672 --> 11:33.574
[SPEAKER_01]: So stay courageously awake, keep listening, and trust what feels true.
11:33.594 --> 11:34.875
[SPEAKER_01]: Until next week.
11:40.477 --> 11:41.718
[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you so much for listening.
11:42.598 --> 11:44.659
[SPEAKER_01]: Your support truly means the world to me.
11:44.679 --> 11:46.560
[SPEAKER_01]: I would love to connect with you.
11:47.300 --> 11:51.362
[SPEAKER_01]: The best way to find me is going to be on Instagram at Rochelle Terrensen.ing.
11:52.182 --> 11:53.063
[SPEAKER_01]: Drop me a DM.
11:53.123 --> 11:54.964
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm letting you know how this week's episode
