WEBVTT
00:00:46.340 --> 00:00:51.060
Welcome to the Daughter Podcast, where fathers become everyday heroes in their daughters' lives.
00:00:51.300 --> 00:00:53.700
Grow, evolve, and lead with love.
00:00:54.100 --> 00:00:56.260
Here's your host, Oscar Pinya.
00:00:56.740 --> 00:00:57.700
Hey everyone.
00:00:57.859 --> 00:01:00.100
Welcome back to the Daughtered Podcast.
00:01:00.260 --> 00:01:03.140
Oscar here, your local growing girl dad.
00:01:03.380 --> 00:01:10.819
Today, after a long time having a solo episode and just doing some thoughts by Oscar.
00:01:10.980 --> 00:01:13.060
Again, it's May.
00:01:13.219 --> 00:01:20.659
I believe it's like mental health month, but June is in men's mental health month.
00:01:20.900 --> 00:01:27.060
Again, I don't think we should uh put it into one month, but nevertheless, it got me thinking about stress.
00:01:28.099 --> 00:01:34.980
And the Pena clan over here has put on a few pounds of stress lately.
00:01:35.140 --> 00:01:42.340
We are on the cusp of a relocation, a move, uprooting our family, uprooting our life, and going somewhere else.
00:01:42.659 --> 00:01:46.020
Um, along with, you know, living life.
00:01:46.259 --> 00:01:52.580
The girls are going to school, they're ending their school year, and their stress, right?
00:01:52.819 --> 00:02:00.979
Because friends and social circles and those types of things that now have to get uprooted and start it over.
00:02:01.219 --> 00:02:05.539
Same with my wife and I and her friends and and people that we meet.
00:02:05.780 --> 00:02:17.620
And I think it was getting to all of us in the family, the stress you started to feel the air heavy, people snapping, um, just being short.
00:02:18.819 --> 00:02:27.460
And I was not able to sleep uh several nights, but one particular night, and I thought about our sponsor, Villal Hunt.
00:02:27.860 --> 00:02:31.699
And I was wearing a shirt, and this is the beauty of what they do.
00:02:31.939 --> 00:02:40.580
I was wearing a shirt, and I forgot what shirt I was wearing, but the back of the shirt said, Remember, this is what you prayed for.
00:02:41.460 --> 00:02:48.419
Now, cautiously I say we don't necessarily pray for all this stress, and I'm sure you all don't either.
00:02:48.740 --> 00:02:56.979
However, we do want to better ourselves and to do cool things and new things and so on and so forth.
00:02:57.139 --> 00:03:00.259
Those are added stresses in our lives.
00:03:00.819 --> 00:03:09.139
And so that conversation got me thinking about the stress that we're experiencing and really turning it to a positive.
00:03:10.099 --> 00:03:15.299
Is stress controlling us, or can stress sharpen us?
00:03:16.019 --> 00:03:17.460
So that's really where I started to think.
00:03:17.620 --> 00:03:18.259
All right, cool.
00:03:18.419 --> 00:03:20.979
Let's just take this in a positive manner.
00:03:21.620 --> 00:03:36.500
We know the old um dad cliche, which I just mentioned to my daughters several times this week, you don't make diamonds without any stress, but it's although again it's might it might be cliche, it is true.
00:03:36.819 --> 00:03:43.219
You you need that stress to create something unique and beautiful.
00:03:44.739 --> 00:03:48.019
And so maybe we use it that way.
00:03:48.500 --> 00:03:54.979
We start looking at what stress can do to us when we allow it to take over, right?
00:03:55.539 --> 00:04:06.340
The the shortness, the constant, unstopping brain that continues to move when you want to sleep and rest.
00:04:07.060 --> 00:04:17.699
You know, for some of us men, we start to like emotionally shut down, we get quiet, we want to not bring the stress home, but man, I don't know about you guys, but my girls can see it.
00:04:18.100 --> 00:04:22.180
My wife can feel it, and it always brings up conversation.
00:04:22.579 --> 00:04:34.819
If we stay in that state too long, we start talking about enough cortisol that it starts to make us numb, and then we start to really get into survival mode, and in that survival mode for fathers is not good.
00:04:35.220 --> 00:04:46.500
Or we can allow that stress to train us and give us trigger points to say, well, I'm feeling a certain stress.
00:04:46.819 --> 00:04:48.740
I need to do X.
00:04:48.819 --> 00:05:00.579
For me, it's exercise or go outside, uh, sit down and leave everything that I have to do for a minute and just have a conversation about something completely different with my daughters or my wife.
00:05:00.900 --> 00:05:16.020
Writing uh checklists down, like what do we need to do and releasing some of that stress into paper, which allows us to really start to get organized, which we know that disorganization is stressful.
00:05:16.580 --> 00:05:34.260
Also, if we're really aware of it, we can use it to teach us to slow down before reaction purposely, because you know you're stressed, because you know you're at a heightened level of uh cortisol and and uh stress hormone, and I think it's the same one.
00:05:34.820 --> 00:05:42.500
But being that aware allows us to really zero in and really think about how our reaction should be in almost every moment.
00:05:42.580 --> 00:05:48.660
And it's kind of silly that we have to wait to be super stressed, but I found that that is helpful for me.
00:05:48.900 --> 00:06:00.980
Understanding the context of the situation makes me have to slow down, period, because I feel myself getting shorter or I feel myself getting more frustrated faster.
00:06:01.220 --> 00:06:04.660
And so that's something that that I started to really think about.
00:06:04.900 --> 00:06:10.740
And the more and more I thought about it, it was well, is this stress so horrible?
00:06:11.060 --> 00:06:17.860
And if you ask my wife and I several times, we may say yes, but in reality, it may not be.
00:06:18.100 --> 00:06:28.740
If you've done anything hard in your life that is stress inoculation, you are trying to get yourself to a point where you teach your body how to react to stress.
00:06:29.140 --> 00:06:33.700
That could be a way for us to use stress positively.
00:06:34.180 --> 00:06:40.900
I do not by any means want to say do not get help if you have stress that you need help with.
00:06:41.060 --> 00:06:55.700
This is a major point, you know, that we talk about in our military careers where we need to make sure that we are fit physically, mentally, uh, emotionally, spiritually, so on and so forth.
00:06:55.780 --> 00:07:01.060
So all the pillars of fitness are in there, and stress is obviously a huge part of that.
00:07:01.460 --> 00:07:03.939
Stress reveals a lot of different things.
00:07:04.180 --> 00:07:18.500
It reveals what matters to us, it reveals where we may have overloaded, it reveals what we may be avoiding because we know that avoidance isn't a solution, it just grows.
00:07:18.660 --> 00:07:21.620
That stress level is there, that weight is always there.
00:07:21.860 --> 00:07:34.980
If we don't control that amount of stress that we have, all these things that it could reveal tend to get lost and almost makes us um unable to see those things clearly.
00:07:35.379 --> 00:07:50.260
So, all this talk to say manage the stress how you manage it, find ways to ensure that the stress is being used to your advantage, if not at the very moment, towards the future.
00:07:50.580 --> 00:07:58.420
For us dads, use it as a teaching moment and allow your daughters to feel the stress.
00:07:58.900 --> 00:08:13.939
Don't try to erase the stress, don't try to prevent them from the stress, but allow them to feel it, allow them to name it, and then help them find tools to manage it together.
00:08:14.260 --> 00:08:37.700
They'll know that they're not alone, they'll know that it is possible to manage stress in any situation, they'll learn to be calm and to be more mindful of what's going on, and hopefully they'll learn to be that person that others go to when they need help managing their stress.
00:08:38.100 --> 00:08:41.139
It's a couple months of stress awareness.
00:08:41.460 --> 00:08:47.539
I say we use them, we become aware of our stressors and how we can manage them.
00:08:47.779 --> 00:08:54.740
And I would encourage you to help other men become aware of those stressors and help them manage it as well.
00:08:55.059 --> 00:09:01.779
And as always, if you need more help than average, reach out.
00:09:02.340 --> 00:09:06.659
Find a community like the Daughtered Podcast community, find a community out there.
00:09:06.820 --> 00:09:07.700
There's plenty.
00:09:07.860 --> 00:09:10.419
If you have if you don't know of any, reach out to me.
00:09:10.580 --> 00:09:11.939
We can find you some.
00:09:12.259 --> 00:09:35.540
But I can tell you that community, a group of men working through their stresses, working through their growth, is extremely helpful to give you perspective, to give you experience that they have, and if anything, just to hear you out and let you know if you're uh falling off to the right or the left.
00:09:35.779 --> 00:09:37.060
I hope this helped a little.
00:09:37.139 --> 00:09:45.460
I know it helped me to think through some things, and I thank you for letting me pontificate on here to work my thoughts through.
00:09:45.779 --> 00:10:06.980
If this resonated with you at all, if you got anything out of this, I would ask that you follow the show, follow us on Instagram, follow us on social media, um, send us feedback, send us ideas for what you want to hear, what I haven't talked about, and what can help other dads out there to keep on growing.
00:10:07.220 --> 00:10:13.139
Because as I mentioned, we are still growing and we want to do that all the way to the grave.
00:10:13.379 --> 00:10:14.420
I appreciate y'all.
00:10:14.659 --> 00:10:15.700
I'll see you all next time.
00:10:15.860 --> 00:10:21.220
Hey, if you enjoy the Daughter Podcast, you'll love what we've got waiting for you at daughterpodcast.com.
00:10:21.540 --> 00:10:33.379
As soon as you visit, you'll be prompted to join our new email newsletter, a resource packed with valuable insights, practical tips, powerful perspectives straight from our podcast episode and incredible.
00:10:34.259 --> 00:10:38.500
Don't miss out on the chance to join from your journey.
00:10:39.460 --> 00:10:42.659
Visit daughterpodcast.com today and subscribe.
00:10:42.899 --> 00:10:45.300
Because great dads never stop growing.
00:00:46.340 --> 00:00:51.060
Welcome to the Daughter Podcast, where fathers become everyday heroes in their daughters' lives.
00:00:51.300 --> 00:00:53.700
Grow, evolve, and lead with love.
00:00:54.100 --> 00:00:56.260
Here's your host, Oscar Pinya.
00:00:56.740 --> 00:00:57.700
Hey everyone.
00:00:57.859 --> 00:01:00.100
Welcome back to the Daughtered Podcast.
00:01:00.260 --> 00:01:03.140
Oscar here, your local growing girl dad.
00:01:03.380 --> 00:01:10.819
Today, after a long time having a solo episode and just doing some thoughts by Oscar.
00:01:10.980 --> 00:01:13.060
Again, it's May.
00:01:13.219 --> 00:01:20.659
I believe it's like mental health month, but June is in men's mental health month.
00:01:20.900 --> 00:01:27.060
Again, I don't think we should uh put it into one month, but nevertheless, it got me thinking about stress.
00:01:28.099 --> 00:01:34.980
And the Pena clan over here has put on a few pounds of stress lately.
00:01:35.140 --> 00:01:42.340
We are on the cusp of a relocation, a move, uprooting our family, uprooting our life, and going somewhere else.
00:01:42.659 --> 00:01:46.020
Um, along with, you know, living life.
00:01:46.259 --> 00:01:52.580
The girls are going to school, they're ending their school year, and their stress, right?
00:01:52.819 --> 00:02:00.979
Because friends and social circles and those types of things that now have to get uprooted and start it over.
00:02:01.219 --> 00:02:05.539
Same with my wife and I and her friends and and people that we meet.
00:02:05.780 --> 00:02:17.620
And I think it was getting to all of us in the family, the stress you started to feel the air heavy, people snapping, um, just being short.
00:02:18.819 --> 00:02:27.460
And I was not able to sleep uh several nights, but one particular night, and I thought about our sponsor, Villal Hunt.
00:02:27.860 --> 00:02:31.699
And I was wearing a shirt, and this is the beauty of what they do.
00:02:31.939 --> 00:02:40.580
I was wearing a shirt, and I forgot what shirt I was wearing, but the back of the shirt said, Remember, this is what you prayed for.
00:02:41.460 --> 00:02:48.419
Now, cautiously I say we don't necessarily pray for all this stress, and I'm sure you all don't either.
00:02:48.740 --> 00:02:56.979
However, we do want to better ourselves and to do cool things and new things and so on and so forth.
00:02:57.139 --> 00:03:00.259
Those are added stresses in our lives.
00:03:00.819 --> 00:03:09.139
And so that conversation got me thinking about the stress that we're experiencing and really turning it to a positive.
00:03:10.099 --> 00:03:15.299
Is stress controlling us, or can stress sharpen us?
00:03:16.019 --> 00:03:17.460
So that's really where I started to think.
00:03:17.620 --> 00:03:18.259
All right, cool.
00:03:18.419 --> 00:03:20.979
Let's just take this in a positive manner.
00:03:21.620 --> 00:03:36.500
We know the old um dad cliche, which I just mentioned to my daughters several times this week, you don't make diamonds without any stress, but it's although again it's might it might be cliche, it is true.
00:03:36.819 --> 00:03:43.219
You you need that stress to create something unique and beautiful.
00:03:44.739 --> 00:03:48.019
And so maybe we use it that way.
00:03:48.500 --> 00:03:54.979
We start looking at what stress can do to us when we allow it to take over, right?
00:03:55.539 --> 00:04:06.340
The the shortness, the constant, unstopping brain that continues to move when you want to sleep and rest.
00:04:07.060 --> 00:04:17.699
You know, for some of us men, we start to like emotionally shut down, we get quiet, we want to not bring the stress home, but man, I don't know about you guys, but my girls can see it.
00:04:18.100 --> 00:04:22.180
My wife can feel it, and it always brings up conversation.
00:04:22.579 --> 00:04:34.819
If we stay in that state too long, we start talking about enough cortisol that it starts to make us numb, and then we start to really get into survival mode, and in that survival mode for fathers is not good.
00:04:35.220 --> 00:04:46.500
Or we can allow that stress to train us and give us trigger points to say, well, I'm feeling a certain stress.
00:04:46.819 --> 00:04:48.740
I need to do X.
00:04:48.819 --> 00:05:00.579
For me, it's exercise or go outside, uh, sit down and leave everything that I have to do for a minute and just have a conversation about something completely different with my daughters or my wife.
00:05:00.900 --> 00:05:16.020
Writing uh checklists down, like what do we need to do and releasing some of that stress into paper, which allows us to really start to get organized, which we know that disorganization is stressful.
00:05:16.580 --> 00:05:34.260
Also, if we're really aware of it, we can use it to teach us to slow down before reaction purposely, because you know you're stressed, because you know you're at a heightened level of uh cortisol and and uh stress hormone, and I think it's the same one.
00:05:34.820 --> 00:05:42.500
But being that aware allows us to really zero in and really think about how our reaction should be in almost every moment.
00:05:42.580 --> 00:05:48.660
And it's kind of silly that we have to wait to be super stressed, but I found that that is helpful for me.
00:05:48.900 --> 00:06:00.980
Understanding the context of the situation makes me have to slow down, period, because I feel myself getting shorter or I feel myself getting more frustrated faster.
00:06:01.220 --> 00:06:04.660
And so that's something that that I started to really think about.
00:06:04.900 --> 00:06:10.740
And the more and more I thought about it, it was well, is this stress so horrible?
00:06:11.060 --> 00:06:17.860
And if you ask my wife and I several times, we may say yes, but in reality, it may not be.
00:06:18.100 --> 00:06:28.740
If you've done anything hard in your life that is stress inoculation, you are trying to get yourself to a point where you teach your body how to react to stress.
00:06:29.140 --> 00:06:33.700
That could be a way for us to use stress positively.
00:06:34.180 --> 00:06:40.900
I do not by any means want to say do not get help if you have stress that you need help with.
00:06:41.060 --> 00:06:55.700
This is a major point, you know, that we talk about in our military careers where we need to make sure that we are fit physically, mentally, uh, emotionally, spiritually, so on and so forth.
00:06:55.780 --> 00:07:01.060
So all the pillars of fitness are in there, and stress is obviously a huge part of that.
00:07:01.460 --> 00:07:03.939
Stress reveals a lot of different things.
00:07:04.180 --> 00:07:18.500
It reveals what matters to us, it reveals where we may have overloaded, it reveals what we may be avoiding because we know that avoidance isn't a solution, it just grows.
00:07:18.660 --> 00:07:21.620
That stress level is there, that weight is always there.
00:07:21.860 --> 00:07:34.980
If we don't control that amount of stress that we have, all these things that it could reveal tend to get lost and almost makes us um unable to see those things clearly.
00:07:35.379 --> 00:07:50.260
So, all this talk to say manage the stress how you manage it, find ways to ensure that the stress is being used to your advantage, if not at the very moment, towards the future.
00:07:50.580 --> 00:07:58.420
For us dads, use it as a teaching moment and allow your daughters to feel the stress.
00:07:58.900 --> 00:08:13.939
Don't try to erase the stress, don't try to prevent them from the stress, but allow them to feel it, allow them to name it, and then help them find tools to manage it together.
00:08:14.260 --> 00:08:37.700
They'll know that they're not alone, they'll know that it is possible to manage stress in any situation, they'll learn to be calm and to be more mindful of what's going on, and hopefully they'll learn to be that person that others go to when they need help managing their stress.
00:08:38.100 --> 00:08:41.139
It's a couple months of stress awareness.
00:08:41.460 --> 00:08:47.539
I say we use them, we become aware of our stressors and how we can manage them.
00:08:47.779 --> 00:08:54.740
And I would encourage you to help other men become aware of those stressors and help them manage it as well.
00:08:55.059 --> 00:09:01.779
And as always, if you need more help than average, reach out.
00:09:02.340 --> 00:09:06.659
Find a community like the Daughtered Podcast community, find a community out there.
00:09:06.820 --> 00:09:07.700
There's plenty.
00:09:07.860 --> 00:09:10.419
If you have if you don't know of any, reach out to me.
00:09:10.580 --> 00:09:11.939
We can find you some.
00:09:12.259 --> 00:09:35.540
But I can tell you that community, a group of men working through their stresses, working through their growth, is extremely helpful to give you perspective, to give you experience that they have, and if anything, just to hear you out and let you know if you're uh falling off to the right or the left.
00:09:35.779 --> 00:09:37.060
I hope this helped a little.
00:09:37.139 --> 00:09:45.460
I know it helped me to think through some things, and I thank you for letting me pontificate on here to work my thoughts through.
00:09:45.779 --> 00:10:06.980
If this resonated with you at all, if you got anything out of this, I would ask that you follow the show, follow us on Instagram, follow us on social media, um, send us feedback, send us ideas for what you want to hear, what I haven't talked about, and what can help other dads out there to keep on growing.
00:10:07.220 --> 00:10:13.139
Because as I mentioned, we are still growing and we want to do that all the way to the grave.
00:10:13.379 --> 00:10:14.420
I appreciate y'all.
00:10:14.659 --> 00:10:15.700
I'll see you all next time.
00:10:15.860 --> 00:10:21.220
Hey, if you enjoy the Daughter Podcast, you'll love what we've got waiting for you at daughterpodcast.com.
00:10:21.540 --> 00:10:33.379
As soon as you visit, you'll be prompted to join our new email newsletter, a resource packed with valuable insights, practical tips, powerful perspectives straight from our podcast episode and incredible.
00:10:34.259 --> 00:10:38.500
Don't miss out on the chance to join from your journey.
00:10:39.460 --> 00:10:42.659
Visit daughterpodcast.com today and subscribe.
00:10:42.899 --> 00:10:45.300
Because great dads never stop growing.
