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Well, everybody, welcome to this week's episode of the Charles Sovest Show.
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Today it's an interview show, and my guest is Mark Worthington.
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Now, this is the place where you get inspired to pursue your passion.
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If you don't know what your passion is, you are inspired to discover your passion.
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Living life with passion makes everything easy.
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The heart becomes easy because passion is a source of unlimited energy from your soul, your spirit, your heart that enables you to produce extraordinary results.
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And you probably guessed that I don't have on this program as an interview guest anyone who is not passionate.
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And my guest today, Mark Worthington, is certainly passionate about a number of matters, and particularly about love.
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Hello, Mark.
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Good morning, and thank you for having me on the show today, Charles.
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Full disclosure, I've known Mark for many years and I've worked closely with him.
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But today I wanted him as my guest to talk about his latest book.
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And there it is behind his head.
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And here it is.
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Here.
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This is book number five, Your Ultimate Connection Awaits.
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Look at this.
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Five books.
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Give us your five books.
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That's a very impressive workout.
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Alright, hold them up one at a time, please.
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In order of production.
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Well, this was the first one.
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It's about the power of human belief structures to um to alter the way you um interact with life.
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Uh this one is um so it's from pain to possibility.
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It's about the relationship with pain and how I personally learnt to work with pain to improve the quality of my life.
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It's also got spiritual elements because I've done a lot of work in that area.
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Um, this book called Show Me the Harmony, that's about how you create a better culture in organizations, using the power of love, not fear, to improve the quality of leadership.
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And this book called The Truth About Love is um it's it's the principles of love.
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It's more a um, it also covers metaphysical aspects of love, the intelligence of love, and how it actually interacts with light and consciousness.
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So it's it's actually quite an advanced book, but it's um I then extended that book into this book, um, Your Ultimate Connection Awaits, because I felt the principles of love.
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I saw what was going on in the dating and relating world, and I'd also struggled with this in my life.
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So I spent a lot of time working out, well, what's actually going wrong between the masculine and the feminine, and you know, and and other sexual preferences, and how do we actually, in a practical sense, give people what I think we all want, which is a really truly loving, you know, romantic life, which avoids a lot of people and did avoid me for many years.
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Well done.
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Yes, I've got it here, and I've gone through elements of this book.
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Your ultimate connection awaits once you embrace the blueprint for romantic bliss.
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Now, I have to confess, and you know this to be you know this to be somewhat accurate, I have to confess that after 15 years of being with my darling wife Julie, I'm in a state of romantic bliss fifteen years down the track.
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So so it's very it's it's wonderful to hear sorry, wonderful to read, that I've must have embraced the blueprint for a romantic bliss.
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Although, as I say to people, I've been successfully married three times.
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Well, I'm not surprised you have that bliss, Charles, because you know, one of the core aspects of this book is that to truly have what we might call in our society true love, you need high awareness and you also need to love from the heart.
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The heart connection is often what's lost.
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Now you speak of passion and living from the heart, and that is completely aligned with what's in my book.
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Because one of the key the key aspect of my book is that you know you can either love from the mind or you can love from the heart.
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And ultimately it's best to be able to combine the two.
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But I think society has moved to a place where we largely love from the ego, we love from the mind, and the heart has been lost.
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And you know, that's actually a skill to learn to connect to your heart, and it's something many of us are not taught to do.
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And there's a whole lot of factors that evolve or not evolve, they actually come from the fact that we don't love from the heart, we love from the ego.
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There's a whole lot of things that that are showing up in the world of dating and relating because that's how we work.
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You know, we focus on attraction and not love.
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Um we expect perfection, we expect our lovers to complete us rather than seeing them as the way to help us complete ourselves.
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And we think love.
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The idea of love is what we think about.
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We don't feel for it.
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And I think that's that's something that it took me many years to discover.
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So, what do you think this attraction thing is?
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You know, being attracted to another person.
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Now, I'm not into I'm not into transgender.
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This is not a woke program.
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I don't buy into diversity, equality, inclusion.
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I treat each human being as a human being.
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So you don't have to worry about political correctness here, and I reject the proposition.
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I say we have two sexes, male and female, and people, there are always exceptions to any rule, but not many.
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Anyway, so don't don't worry about that.
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So come to this question of being attracted to the opposite sex.
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You know, this this what's what's your sense around this attraction process?
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Well, my sense is that attraction is there are three elements, I think, core elements to a great relationship mind, body, and spirit.
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And spirit being love.
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Mind and body is where attraction plays.
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And you know, we we are all we are by nature going to be physically attracted to people, and we also tend to try to look for relationships with people who are like us.
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They they kind of are us.
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You know, we look if we're uh Catholic, we might look for a Catholic, or if we love dancing, we might look for someone who loves dancing, and those things are are great, but um it's not love.
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And one of the things I wrote about in this book, the truth about love is love is in incapable of being controlled or created by the human mind.
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It just is or it isn't.
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You're gonna meet someone and you're gonna love them or not, and you cannot control that.
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But you can alter attraction, you can change your preferences, you can change the kind of person you want to be with, or think, or physically, somebody might change.
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You know, you might meet someone you find incredibly attractive, and then they physicality, their physicality changes, then you don't find attraction to them.
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And the other thing I think about with attraction is the concepts of value and interest.
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So we look we try to find someone that we value and we're interested in.
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Um, but that unfortunately, the mythology that we've all come to believe is that that is love.
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That's not love.
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And many of the podcasts and things I listen to, these so-called psychologists talk about, these experts in love talk about love, but I never hear the word love talked about.
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They're talking about attraction.
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I'm uh I'm I'm forced, I'm forced to burst into song here.
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What's love got to do, got to do with it?
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What's love?
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But a second handy motion.
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Interesting line, isn't it?
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From Tina Turner.
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You know, but it has become that way.
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You know, I one of the things I had to do was actually learn how to feel love.
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And again, one of the things I talk about in this book called The Truth About Love is you cannot.
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You cannot feel love with another person beyond the love you can feel for yourself.
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That's a physical impossibility to do otherwise.
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So just stop there.
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I've I've often said that in my in my in the time that we spent together, and you and I have spent a lot of time together in in in different environments over the years, and you give me credit in your books for any guidance that I was able to share with you, so thank you for that for that compliment.
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So this question of these days with the internet and with something like Tinder, it's very easy to just bail out when things get tough.
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And so shit is happening in a relationship, and and then you're going, this is all too difficult.
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And go to Tinder.
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Look at the options, look at the incredible vast range of options.
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So there's this real problem of why would I stick in something that's difficult?
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What's your thinking on that?
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Well, I I agree with you.
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I did do internet dating years ago uh for a little while, but it what the problem with it is it it does create that commoditization or disposability of relationship.
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It's not working, yeah, exactly.
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Just try with someone else.
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But you know, I I've done a lot of work around conscious relationships.
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How do you actually make relationships work?
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And you know, the only way to do that really is to work through problems together for each, for yourself and for the other person.
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It's kind of a growth exercise, not just about love, and it's about increased, you know, awareness.
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And if you're not able to if you don't have the skill to be able to uh do what I would call conscious relating, um, you know, to feel into things, to express your feelings, to then express back, and then then you will m you will move to the blame game.
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And the ego will always take you into the blame game.
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It projects and it protects itself, whereas the heart doesn't do that.
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If you're in a place of love with someone, then you can work through your problems together with the right commitment and intent.
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But I don't think we're taught that.
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We're not taught that.
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I yes, we are not taught that.
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And so your five books and the and the latest helps to to go with the heart, not the ego, the heart love, not the ego love.
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And I think that's a really excellent sticky idea, because it will if we traverse the mind, and all the shows that I've done in the past are all about the mind.
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And the mind is designed to avoid pain.
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Your mind is designed to protect you from pain.
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And of course, because of the journey that we've been on, your pain might be my pleasure, and vice versa.
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For example, tonight, as we're recording this tonight, there's a big football match on, Mark.
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Yes, I'm going.
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You're you're a Roosters fan.
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I am.
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I am looking forward to that.
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So I want to I want to go to the excellent appendices that you have in this book, but before we do, you know, uh, we got caught up into the essence of this conversation.
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Give us a little background about you.
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How can an audit how can an accountant and auditor be talking about matters of love and the heart?
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What an incredible journey, hey.
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Look, my my story is one of, and you knew me in both contexts.
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Um, you know, I was what you would say was, you know, a relatively successful person who was following the normal paradigms of life.
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But my life kept, it was like a roller coaster.
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I would succeed and then I would supposedly fail, and things would go bad.
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And I got to the point where after losing jobs, losing relationships, losing access to children, losing you know, lots of money, all these things added up to a point where I just had to stop and say, well, why am I going through all this pain and despair?
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Because uh I kind of cracked and went, I'm just gonna face this.
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Because I there was a part of me that knew that I wasn't going through this for no reason, and it was also gonna lead me, you know, to higher wisdom to understand myself.
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Um I couldn't keep blaming the world because these things just kept happening.
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So I think I finally took responsibility for my own life, turned and faced it, and in that process I found that what was truly lacking in my life was love.
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I wasn't loving my life.
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I wasn't loving myself.
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I was not, I was in organizations which lacked love, I was in relationships which truly lacked love.
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It was the solution to everything.
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Well, it's been a wonderful, it's been a wonderful journey, and at the age that you are at, you've got many decades of contribution to make.
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Now, I'd like you to take us to the two appendices of your latest book, Your Ultimate Connection Awaits.
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And by the way, Mark's website, I'll repeat it again a bit later, is mark-worthington.com.
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W.markworthington.com.
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But can you explain the two appendices and give us some examples from it?
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Because I think they're excellent tools.
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And if all you did was buy this book and go to the appendices, you would have plenty of work to do for the next ten years on any relationship that you are in right now.
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And that's about the length of time that I took to learn all this to write this book and the other books.
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So I you know it isn't a five-minute exercise.
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Um, and I I do believe that one of the cornerstones of being getting good at make being in relationships that work is to actually learn from them.
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And what I found was it took me over 50 years to stop and prop and go, hang on, well, I I didn't learn from my mistakes, and I need to.
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So, you know, the checklists in this book are, with all the principles in the book, this the checklists are here to show people, um, just to get them to reflect within their relationships.
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Um, so there's two.
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There's there's my learnings.
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From someone who, you know, truly didn't do that well in relationships earlier in my life, then what did I learn?
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What did I learn?
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And what did I learn about the way I see it?
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You can either stay within the sort of normal paradigms of being in relationship or you can go for true love.
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And true love is possible, but it takes a lot of work.
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And the myth in society is that we can all just find true love.
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And I hate to disappoint people, but it's not actually case the case unless you actually do the work to work walk to work towards it.
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Um, so what what what this what this is is a checklist of all the things that I learned along my way of making mistakes.
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So for something like, you know, forget what others have told you about a great relationship, what what it should look like, and consider your own wants and needs.
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Write it down.
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You know, clarity overcomes confusion.
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I don't think people truly, I think we're conditioned to go after the kinds of people and relationships that we've seen our parents do or we've we've seen on television, and we we're trying to reproduce what what we think will impress society rather than going, well, what do I really want?
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What do I really want in a person?
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And how do that how does that make me feel if I'm in that?
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Because feeling is the main thing.
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Um always seek to be real or true in your relationships.
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If you pretend to be something you're not, you're only setting yourself up for disappointment.
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Um, I I think we we often go into relationships in a kind of a pretense.
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I'm going to pretend to be what I think the other person wants.
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And what psychologists say is you can only do that for two to three years, and then the cracks will appear.
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And then the truth comes out.
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And so with a lack of truth in relationships, from the beginning often, we're pretending we're it's a performance.
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That's true.
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We are we are showing our best side, aren't we?
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Yes.
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And indeed, one of the truisms that I live by is that who when I see you, when I see other people in public, we are seeing most of the time the best side that people can portray to us.
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They're not giving us all the crap in their lives, are they?
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No, and then there's actually a um I think it's the Turkish who say that to truly love someone you need to fall in love with them twice.
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You fall in love with their upfront image.
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But then once you relate to them for a period of time, you'll start to see their faults, and then you need to fall in love again with the truth of them.
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Um but if you can start out with being completely truthful from the beginning, then that sets you up for something very special.
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And I and I would suggest that's why you and Julie are so good at this, because I know you well enough to know you don't bullshit.
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And there's another important thing that you mentioned earlier that because of the journey that Julie went on, you used the word responsibility.
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Okay, so that so that this willingness to take responsibility for our feelings is so profoundly important rather than blaming another person for what you're feeling.
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And so that was that's when you can be truthful with another person if each party is willing to take responsibility.
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And that then translates into the personal developments that each party has done.
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And in my experience, women are much more interested in personal development than men.
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Yes.
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They are is that your experience?
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Yes, and I did the Mind Body Spirit Festival, as you know, last year a couple of times.
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And one of the things I found was a lot of women coming up to me saying, I'm falling out of love with my husband.
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Why is this the case?
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And it's because they are pursuing higher awareness about themselves.
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And when you do that, you naturally lift your call it frequency of love.
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But if your partner is not pursuing a similar path and is still just focused on, say, work and money, then the frequency between you shifts.
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And that, you know, love is a frequency match.
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If you're not growing together, you run the risk of growing apart.
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It's almost inevitable.
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The feelings will shift because the frequency shifts.
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Um and I think that's I love I love the idea of I love the idea of frequency, Mark, because all the other work that I'm doing, you and I are just energy events.
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Deepak Chopra says we're just energy events.
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And so our energy will all runs on frequency, doesn't it?
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Yeah, and women are much more akin to trying to improve their awareness, which increased it naturally increases their frequency.
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And men are often more focused on it's you know, it is an element of the male, female, masculine, feminine energies.
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But men are higher in masculine energy.
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Masculine energy is more a doing energy.
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Whereas the feminine energy is more a being energy, and therefore you get this separation if they're not if you're not working on things together, separation is almost inevitable.
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I hate to say it, and then people end up in relationships that trend to mediocrity.
00:21:10.559 --> 00:21:27.759
I mean, statistically, nearly 50% of marriages divorce, and they the psychologists say that about 35% of the 50% remaining, or or 35%, um, trend to mediocrity and unhappiness.
00:21:27.920 --> 00:21:29.920
They might not they might not divorce.
00:21:30.000 --> 00:21:33.519
So it's 85% of relationships that ultimately go wrong.
00:21:33.839 --> 00:21:36.640
That to me is a national tragedy.
00:21:38.160 --> 00:21:55.039
Yes, and it's it's the it's the desire, well, just because of diff different frequencies and the lack of awareness, literally, it's because there's a weed, but many times people can't identify what the weed is and what the plant is.
00:21:55.200 --> 00:22:10.319
And indeed, last week in um Victoria's number one uh newspaper on the Sunday newspaper there was an insert on how do you know your your relationship is on the skids similar to the issues you're dealing with.
00:22:10.400 --> 00:22:42.799
Now coming back to these two appendices mark because I distracted you you have the lessons that the the key learnings I've added it up there's over 70 key learnings that you've got in appendix one and and we'll I want you to highlight another couple but then I want you to go to appendix two which has got a series of excellent questions that a cup couples can use but just come back give us another couple of your key learnings that you had as I say more than 70 of them are listed here.
00:22:42.960 --> 00:23:06.880
That's a lot of learning there Mark yeah um you know I'll call it the mirror effect so a relationship partner is someone who mirrors you it it is it is it is we we always blame the other person for giving us certain things but um they are the mirror of you and if what you put out you get back.
00:23:07.039 --> 00:23:09.759
So what you put out in a relationship you'll get back.
00:23:10.079 --> 00:24:03.440
And we don't understand that we will always have that you know it's the um what's the the I can't think of the the scientific um you know law that applies there but um you know what you put out will come back to you and law of reciprocity perhaps yeah yeah yeah or every action has an equal an opposite reaction it's um Newton's third law I think it is so it's you know we we don't see that in relationships we don't understand that in relationships um and and therefore you know we tend to blame and walk away um and judgment is I I call judgment the great the great separator when you judge another person you actually will ultimately you lead to separation.
00:24:03.839 --> 00:24:34.079
That's a great line judgment is the ultimate separator everybody please note that I love it judgment is the ultimate separator in a relationship yeah so here's another one love can only be expressed in presence so do your best to be fully present with your partner especially when it matters most to you um we often live in the future or the past you know we're in a relationship we're thinking about what we're going to do next year or what we did last year or what kitchen we're gonna build.
00:24:34.240 --> 00:25:10.400
We're not present with ours with each other and presence is what creates connection without presence there's no connection is distorted so you know often we'll focus on what we'll do together rather than just being together and just maybe sitting in nature and loving each other like it's it it it has become a um relationships have become a focus on winning competition like how how can I get what I want out of this relationship?
00:25:10.640 --> 00:25:14.079
Not how can I just experience love?
00:25:14.240 --> 00:25:36.960
To me that's when you find that you've got infinite possibility love is infinite love is indeed the infinite give me another lesson and then we'll go to the questions well never never ignore sexual denial for too long because it is normally a symptom not the disease that a relationship is is fading.
00:25:37.279 --> 00:25:52.960
So you know um love making is exactly that we think of it as some sort of sexual achievement but to me making love is the expression of love.
00:25:53.119 --> 00:26:11.599
It's and sex is the expression of love and yet we so often don't see it that way so um you know I I think sexual the the the myth is that sexual um polarity with your partner will fade eventually.
00:26:11.839 --> 00:26:13.279
I don't think that's true.
00:26:13.519 --> 00:26:28.640
And I know that you don't believe that either no I don't believe that and that's my certainly my experience that you know in an excellent role in a in a truly loving relationship the sexual expression increases over time rather than fades.
00:26:29.759 --> 00:26:34.960
Which is expansion which is expansion all right let's go to questions.
00:26:35.119 --> 00:26:40.319
So let's everybody contemplate a couple that you know is having troubles.
00:26:40.480 --> 00:26:45.440
Of course none of you watching or listening to this podcast have any relationship troubles.
00:26:45.519 --> 00:26:56.480
We know that Mark we make that so give us give us three or four of the really challenging questions that a couple committed so here's the question we touched on it earlier.
00:26:56.640 --> 00:27:01.359
You know people go oh this is all too difficult I'll go back onto Tinder and get the next relationship.
00:27:01.599 --> 00:27:05.039
And just keep just keep running away from difficulty.
00:27:05.200 --> 00:27:18.000
All right so give me give me some of your three or four recommended difficult questions in a relationship when you go, I want this relationship to work.
00:27:18.240 --> 00:27:18.480
Go.
00:27:18.880 --> 00:27:19.119
Yeah.
00:27:19.440 --> 00:27:32.559
Okay so how conscious are you of the core beliefs that you both built in life and from where they arose so you know one of the things that a relationship will always expose is the core belief structure differences between you.
00:27:33.119 --> 00:27:44.319
People think because they're of the same religion or they went to a similar school or they lived in a similar suburb that they're going to be um the same and they're going to be fully compatible.
00:27:44.480 --> 00:27:51.279
Well unfortunately within all of us sits belief structures that we often don't even understand.
00:27:51.839 --> 00:27:59.599
They've been inherited passed down from people to people and you know often generated by the family of origin that we live in.
00:27:59.759 --> 00:28:17.759
But how many of us truly understand our belief structures and how they actually work and love will expose that it's part of its role you know if you look at the intelligence of love it'll go after these belief structure differences.
00:28:18.480 --> 00:28:33.119
Do you understand what your partner needs and wants from you and how changes in these can be discussed and resolved between you one of the things that we do in most normal relationships is we enter with a set of needs.
00:28:33.359 --> 00:28:43.279
Now more advanced people don't have needs they obviously they move to delete their needs and move to a place of just want but that's a pretty rare person.
00:28:44.480 --> 00:29:10.880
But how often do we sit with our partner and say well how are your needs changing and how can I meet your needs because as we age our needs will will generally change you know a woman in her late twenties or in her 20s is probably wanting fun and then in her 30s she's wanting to settle down have kids and then you know when she gets a bit older she's interested in her self-development and she wants a man who'll do that with her.
00:29:11.039 --> 00:29:22.799
So but I I don't think and I and I can throw myself in the bucket here when I was in my marriage I made a lot of assumptions about what my partner wanted or needed.
00:29:22.960 --> 00:29:29.279
I didn't didn't even ask her just to shoot oh this this is what I believe I'm meant to do I'll do it.
00:29:29.359 --> 00:29:41.359
Well I didn't change but if I'd known what she how her needs were shifting then I probably could have avoided divorce perhaps but how often do we have those bloody conversations?
00:29:41.519 --> 00:29:55.440
We do it in the office we don't do it in our do you understand what each of you finds of value and of interest in in in each other do you really know why they love you or they say they love you.
00:29:55.680 --> 00:29:59.440
I I I don't know that many people would have those conversations.
00:30:04.000 --> 00:30:11.200
What are your core values in life and to what extent are these aligned or in contravention between you two?
00:30:11.359 --> 00:30:36.400
Now you know if it's really fascinating when you sit down and say write on a piece of paper what your five or six core beliefs are or sorry values are then look at your life and you will see a direct correlation between your values and your life so if you don't understand the difference between the values that you hold and your partner holds then you're gonna head off in different directions.
00:30:36.559 --> 00:30:39.839
It's it's the way energy works it must do so.
00:30:42.400 --> 00:30:51.039
How do you plan to recognize and celebrate experiences in your relationships that can take it to a whole new level and increase your awareness.
00:30:51.200 --> 00:30:52.799
It's not all about problems.
00:30:52.960 --> 00:31:00.480
How much do we celebrate and how much fun do we actually have I I believe that in my marriage I lost the ability to have fun.
00:31:01.279 --> 00:31:06.240
I was so based so focused on money and work and providing for my family and kids.
00:31:06.480 --> 00:31:17.359
Well it was you weren't it seems to me you weren't focused on money but you were focused on money because it enabled you to do what you thought was your task to look after wife and five children.
00:31:17.759 --> 00:31:29.200
Yes I didn't earn the money for me I earned it for them and ultimately I gave the wrong currency in my marriage I should have given the currency of love not the currency of money.
00:31:29.440 --> 00:31:36.799
Yes beautifully put yes I see that now coming then so thank you that they are excellent questions.
00:31:37.920 --> 00:31:41.039
The last second last one of the questions please turn to that one.
00:31:41.920 --> 00:31:48.640
Yeah so if problems arise in your relationship how will you raise these with each other and discuss the problems?
00:31:49.119 --> 00:32:02.960
So let's let's unpack that because because one of the things that men joke about is that the worst phone call to get from your wife is when in the when they ring you in the morning and say we're gonna talk tonight.
00:32:05.680 --> 00:32:16.480
And so the and or vice versa but but you know this this is what blokes joke about because I don't know what women joke about you know that's me that's women's secret business.
00:32:17.119 --> 00:32:27.119
If problems arise and so so Mike what's the question what what observation have you found around dealing with problems?
00:32:27.440 --> 00:32:43.440
Because you've you've also managed large numbers of people in your journey working with one of the major banks in this country so you understand what it's like to be in a in a very large corporate and the pressures that people are under and talking about problems.
00:32:43.680 --> 00:32:48.400
So what would you recommend if someone said Mark how would how what what's your recommended process?
00:32:48.559 --> 00:34:49.599
Here you are husband wife I know you're not a counsellor but based on your experience how should we deal with problems well I I think it's an ongoing thing not just uh when things go bad and I also think intuition is the word that comes to mind you know if you're simply relying on the other person's word um although you know you want to do that you you you you need to be capable of of witnessing the behavioral shifts or the motions of your partner and and being prepared to say hey you know you seem to be upset can we sit and talk about this and let me understand how I can help things um I found the best way is to simply hold hands look into each other's eyes and really say hey I'm I really want to resolve this rather than you know a lot of men particularly are guilty of well if she's not going to say it I'm not gonna deal with it and you know they they tend to um bury their because men are more prone to bury their feelings than women but women might also not want to upset so they you know the their their emotional response to a man may shift and they may become owned by that but then there's not enough honest just regular conversations about hey you know one of the things I've found as I've become more connected to myself is I can sh I can feel the shift in the energy of my partner and I can say to her hey I'm sensing a different energy and I'm sensing that something's worrying you and often I'll see it before them but they'll come back and go oh yeah and that's because this and it may have nothing to do with me there may be something else in their life that um I can at least listen to you know the as they say men are more prone to uh try and solve the problem whereas women are quite capable of solving their own problems.
00:34:49.679 --> 00:34:54.400
They just want to feel compassion from you and feel understanding.
00:34:54.559 --> 00:35:01.679
And if you're not offering that then you know the gap starts to widen.
00:35:02.000 --> 00:35:24.159
As they as they say in the classics you say to somebody how are you you to your partner, to your lover to your spouse how are you and she says or he says fine great I can move on yeah exactly but the intuition if I learnt one thing in my marriage is I should have trusted my intuition more than the words that I heard.
00:35:24.480 --> 00:35:27.920
Alright now let's I'll get the killer dealer question for you.
00:35:28.239 --> 00:35:42.239
So from these lessons my friend that you have learned and you've written five books about all of this how is and we haven't rehearsed this you you didn't I didn't send you a set of questions correct?
00:35:42.559 --> 00:36:24.800
Correct yeah you said you wanted to give me some proformers I don't need proformers and I said no we just go with our intuition or my intuition because I'm asking the questions so what steps have you taken so that your children gain the benefit of your hard won knowledge and wisdom well I spend a lot of time I've got adult children now the youngest is 23 but I have obviously given them my books but also I spend time coaching them I see myself less as a well I'm still a father but I'm also a guide to them.
00:36:24.960 --> 00:36:41.679
So I I spend time with them just if they've got particularly if they've got relationship issues with their partners I I I always spend time with them getting them to understand the issues but I always get them to understand that the problem starts with them.
00:36:41.920 --> 00:36:44.000
They cannot blame the other person.
00:36:44.159 --> 00:36:47.280
They must first go inward before they go outward.
00:36:47.519 --> 00:36:59.519
That's the number one piece of advice I give to them you need to understand your contribution here what you could have done differently and how are you enabling this problem before you go and talk to the other person.
00:37:00.320 --> 00:37:07.920
And I spend a lot of time getting them to take responsibility for their situation and move away from blame always.
00:37:08.079 --> 00:37:42.880
It's the one thing I think I've done well in my certainly in my last ten years of my life is to realize the power of taking responsibility and I and I ask them to do the same and I think you know particular one of my eldest sons you know I do think one of his relationships may not have worked and if he hadn't come to me and gone you know I think he was on the verge of giving up and I got him to see that hang on you got to take the responsibility here this is you are 50% of this problem.
00:37:43.199 --> 00:37:55.280
And if you can't go to your partner and say I've looked at this situation and here is what I think I could do better then you can't expect them to just say well I'm gonna do you what are you going to do better?
00:37:55.360 --> 00:37:57.760
You know it's got to it's got to be a two-way stream.
00:37:58.159 --> 00:38:59.519
Hmm very good and I I commend you that is such a profound liberator taking responsibility because and and teaching that principle the other thing I've learned from Buckminster Fuller and again regular viewers and listeners know my com my my deep deep um interest and commitment to learning and teaching what Buckminster Fuller taught one of the one of the um core principles that he taught and I share with all of you and I've done programs on this topic his quote is the more mistakes I make the smarter I am the more mistakes I make the smarter I am and part of the problem in our society is that we get rewarded for getting the right answer and we get punished for the wrong answer.
00:38:59.760 --> 00:40:17.360
So people spend their lives avoiding mistakes so you have been with the five books that you've written they're full of your mistakes yeah well I don't think I don't think I can genuinely stand up in front of people and say I understand this unless I'm a walking talking version of I've been through it I've experienced it and I've changed you know that to me is more powerful than learning something from a textbook um you know I I'm not a psychologist as you pointed out what I've done is ripped myself apart and looked at you know lots of wisdom from others and said well how can I and others you know become more conscious in the way we live our lives including relationships what is more important than the relationship you have there's two things I think people really want out of life and that is a really successful career and a really beautiful relationship with a partner and I've tried to focus some of my work on that because that's where I felt I suffered by virtue of not being I wasn't conscious enough to make these things work when I was younger.
00:40:17.599 --> 00:40:21.199
I am now there's plenty got plenty of time plenty of time to go.
00:40:21.280 --> 00:41:07.039
Now last question but before I do the the book is your ultimate connection awakes and Mark's website is markworthington.com So Mark I said you've got plenty of time provided you look after your health now I would like you to share your health strategies not your health journey but these days with the learning that you've had and we've had conversations about this can you share what you do to be in excellent health just your regime because one of them is exercise like I've been training for triathlons and competing in them for 40 years.
00:41:07.280 --> 00:41:20.639
I've been for bike ride this morning so so not training is not an option but I want to hear about your your tips for that are keeping you in great shape and I hope you're going to be around for another 50 years at least.
00:41:21.199 --> 00:41:43.119
Well as you said the first one's exercise so I go to the gym five times a week the second one is one I'm developing which is is eating well you know I think there were years where I didn't do that but I'm now focused very heavily on what I put in my mouth but you know the third one which I think is often overlooked is is emotion.
00:41:43.280 --> 00:43:00.639
So when you when you're feeling negative emotion a lot of my work has been around learning from my pain learning from my emotions and when you look at the word emotion it's simply energy requiring motion so when you allow feelings to be understood and expressed that brings out your um it releases it from your body now most aging is actually an illness arises from trapped negative energy within your body and within your energy field for those who believe in that and you know we talk science talks that spending billions of dollars on trying to solve the aging problem let me tell you it's inside you so I think to me that's actually you know looking after the body is great and looking after the diet but if you're not looking after your energy and actually valuing your emotions that can do more damage from the inside out and so that's where I spend a lot of my I would spend at least an hour a day investigating what I'm feeling.
00:43:00.800 --> 00:43:01.920
What am I feeling today?
00:43:02.000 --> 00:43:03.440
What is that telling me about me?
00:43:03.599 --> 00:43:06.159
What's that telling me about my belief structures?
00:43:06.400 --> 00:43:08.159
Is there something I need to change?
00:43:08.320 --> 00:43:21.679
Is there something I need to do is there something I need to confront and I'm feeling you know I I think I'm very light inside me now because I do that process every day and that's the most important thing I do.
00:43:22.719 --> 00:43:37.920
So emotions exercise and eat see three E's you make it exercise eat emotions like that the E cubed that's right it's very good.
00:43:38.239 --> 00:43:59.760
All right Mark lovely to be with you congratulations on five books so again run through them again first book you've got it there we go in order and read out the read out the titles first book is where your happiness hides and that's where I investigated deeply the power of my belief structures I actually identify in this book what I
00:44:00.159 --> 00:44:08.400
I think are the 22 core belief structures that most human beings suffer from, having limited belief structures.
00:44:08.559 --> 00:44:10.559
That took a lot of work to come up with that.
00:44:11.760 --> 00:44:14.480
This is my business book, Show Me the Harmony.
00:44:14.559 --> 00:44:22.000
This is how do you actually create loving corporate relationships, uh corporate environments?
00:44:22.079 --> 00:44:28.079
Because I believe, and as you taught me, Charles, that a lot of um organizations live on fear.
00:44:28.239 --> 00:44:30.480
And it's not how you get the best out of people.
00:44:30.800 --> 00:44:32.639
It's not great leadership.
00:44:32.719 --> 00:44:39.199
So I put my formulas in here as to how to do that, and that was something I think I excelled at in my career.
00:44:41.039 --> 00:44:41.679
You certainly did.
00:44:41.760 --> 00:44:42.639
I have evidence of that.
00:44:42.719 --> 00:44:44.880
You did succeed in that third one?
00:44:45.440 --> 00:44:46.800
From pain to possibility.
00:44:46.880 --> 00:44:55.199
So I, you know, not well known to people, but I suffered from a uh very debilitating muscle disorder, which doctors told me would kill me.
00:44:55.360 --> 00:44:56.800
Well, it didn't, obviously.
00:44:57.039 --> 00:45:00.000
And it didn't because I learned to work with the pain.
00:45:00.159 --> 00:45:04.880
The pain was just a message from my soul that something needed to change.
00:45:05.119 --> 00:45:15.280
And the moment I started to alter my responses to my pain, the pain went away, the disease went away, and the doctors still can't work out how I did that.
00:45:15.519 --> 00:45:21.599
I'm not the only one in the world who understands that, but No, it's no one had your experience.
00:45:22.320 --> 00:45:24.239
No, no one had my particular experience.
00:45:24.400 --> 00:45:36.079
This one, the truth about love, was my you know, I did a lot of very deep research into the relationship between love, light, and consciousness, but also how does love work?
00:45:36.159 --> 00:45:38.960
What is the infinite intelligence that sits within love?
00:45:39.119 --> 00:45:41.679
Love itself is an intelligence.
00:45:41.920 --> 00:45:46.639
We feel it, but it's actually our link to infinite intelligence.
00:45:46.719 --> 00:45:55.599
And if you understand how it actually works, you can see how it plays out in relationships and how to get to true love, which is something we all talk about.
00:45:56.239 --> 00:46:00.239
But I think that's that's more a principles book.
00:46:00.480 --> 00:46:10.719
And of course the one we've talked about today um Your Ultimate Connection Awaits is is my practical version of relationships aren't working, what's the problem here?
00:46:10.880 --> 00:46:11.920
How do we fix it?
00:46:12.000 --> 00:46:18.400
Or how can people make their romantic lives better because I think it matters to all of us.
00:46:18.880 --> 00:46:24.159
And if there was if there was more, if there was more I was gonna say fucking, but I won't.
00:46:24.400 --> 00:46:31.519
If there was more wonderful sex happening, we would fulfill the 1960s mantra of make love not war.
00:46:32.079 --> 00:46:34.320
A great mystic to live by.
00:46:34.880 --> 00:46:43.599
Yeah, and as as I said, um you know the ancient the ancient Chinese used to say that we are just pure sexual energy.
00:46:43.760 --> 00:46:48.400
Well, sexual energy requires expression for us to be completely joyous.
00:46:48.880 --> 00:46:49.519
Well said.
00:46:49.679 --> 00:46:50.480
Thank you, Mark.
00:46:50.559 --> 00:46:52.159
Congratulations on five books.
00:46:52.239 --> 00:47:01.920
I love the number five because you've got five children, I've got five children, so and five in for those into numerology means certain things, you can discover that in your own journey.
00:47:02.159 --> 00:47:07.519
Thank you, and I wish you well, and I recommend that people check out your website, buy the books.
00:47:07.599 --> 00:47:10.400
All of them are available on your website, I assume.
00:47:10.960 --> 00:47:11.920
Yes, they are.
00:47:12.079 --> 00:47:12.800
Excellent.
00:47:13.039 --> 00:47:13.679
Thank you.
00:47:14.480 --> 00:47:15.679
Thank you very much, Charles.
00:47:15.760 --> 00:47:17.519
It's been a pleasure as usual.
00:47:17.840 --> 00:47:18.480
Thank you.
00:00:20.000 --> 00:00:24.879
Well, everybody, welcome to this week's episode of the Charles Sovest Show.
00:00:24.960 --> 00:00:30.079
Today it's an interview show, and my guest is Mark Worthington.
00:00:30.239 --> 00:00:33.840
Now, this is the place where you get inspired to pursue your passion.
00:00:34.000 --> 00:00:39.439
If you don't know what your passion is, you are inspired to discover your passion.
00:00:39.600 --> 00:00:44.320
Living life with passion makes everything easy.
00:00:44.479 --> 00:00:54.640
The heart becomes easy because passion is a source of unlimited energy from your soul, your spirit, your heart that enables you to produce extraordinary results.
00:00:54.880 --> 00:01:02.000
And you probably guessed that I don't have on this program as an interview guest anyone who is not passionate.
00:01:02.240 --> 00:01:09.280
And my guest today, Mark Worthington, is certainly passionate about a number of matters, and particularly about love.
00:01:09.439 --> 00:01:10.640
Hello, Mark.
00:01:11.599 --> 00:01:15.200
Good morning, and thank you for having me on the show today, Charles.
00:01:15.680 --> 00:01:20.079
Full disclosure, I've known Mark for many years and I've worked closely with him.
00:01:20.159 --> 00:01:26.400
But today I wanted him as my guest to talk about his latest book.
00:01:26.480 --> 00:01:28.159
And there it is behind his head.
00:01:28.319 --> 00:01:29.760
And here it is.
00:01:30.319 --> 00:01:30.719
Here.
00:01:30.959 --> 00:01:35.920
This is book number five, Your Ultimate Connection Awaits.
00:01:37.359 --> 00:01:37.920
Look at this.
00:01:38.079 --> 00:01:38.640
Five books.
00:01:39.200 --> 00:01:40.239
Give us your five books.
00:01:40.319 --> 00:01:42.400
That's a very impressive workout.
00:01:42.560 --> 00:01:45.200
Alright, hold them up one at a time, please.
00:01:45.439 --> 00:01:47.599
In order of production.
00:01:48.400 --> 00:01:49.680
Well, this was the first one.
00:01:49.840 --> 00:01:57.359
It's about the power of human belief structures to um to alter the way you um interact with life.
00:01:57.920 --> 00:02:02.239
Uh this one is um so it's from pain to possibility.
00:02:02.319 --> 00:02:09.199
It's about the relationship with pain and how I personally learnt to work with pain to improve the quality of my life.
00:02:09.520 --> 00:02:13.280
It's also got spiritual elements because I've done a lot of work in that area.
00:02:13.520 --> 00:02:25.039
Um, this book called Show Me the Harmony, that's about how you create a better culture in organizations, using the power of love, not fear, to improve the quality of leadership.
00:02:25.360 --> 00:02:31.919
And this book called The Truth About Love is um it's it's the principles of love.
00:02:32.080 --> 00:02:41.360
It's more a um, it also covers metaphysical aspects of love, the intelligence of love, and how it actually interacts with light and consciousness.
00:02:41.520 --> 00:02:54.319
So it's it's actually quite an advanced book, but it's um I then extended that book into this book, um, Your Ultimate Connection Awaits, because I felt the principles of love.
00:02:54.479 --> 00:03:01.439
I saw what was going on in the dating and relating world, and I'd also struggled with this in my life.
00:03:01.520 --> 00:03:25.520
So I spent a lot of time working out, well, what's actually going wrong between the masculine and the feminine, and you know, and and other sexual preferences, and how do we actually, in a practical sense, give people what I think we all want, which is a really truly loving, you know, romantic life, which avoids a lot of people and did avoid me for many years.
00:03:27.360 --> 00:03:28.159
Well done.
00:03:28.319 --> 00:03:32.479
Yes, I've got it here, and I've gone through elements of this book.
00:03:32.800 --> 00:03:39.120
Your ultimate connection awaits once you embrace the blueprint for romantic bliss.
00:03:39.280 --> 00:03:56.960
Now, I have to confess, and you know this to be you know this to be somewhat accurate, I have to confess that after 15 years of being with my darling wife Julie, I'm in a state of romantic bliss fifteen years down the track.
00:03:57.840 --> 00:04:10.400
So so it's very it's it's wonderful to hear sorry, wonderful to read, that I've must have embraced the blueprint for a romantic bliss.
00:04:10.479 --> 00:04:13.759
Although, as I say to people, I've been successfully married three times.
00:04:16.160 --> 00:04:33.279
Well, I'm not surprised you have that bliss, Charles, because you know, one of the core aspects of this book is that to truly have what we might call in our society true love, you need high awareness and you also need to love from the heart.
00:04:33.439 --> 00:04:36.560
The heart connection is often what's lost.
00:04:36.800 --> 00:04:43.600
Now you speak of passion and living from the heart, and that is completely aligned with what's in my book.
00:04:43.839 --> 00:04:56.160
Because one of the key the key aspect of my book is that you know you can either love from the mind or you can love from the heart.
00:04:56.560 --> 00:05:00.399
And ultimately it's best to be able to combine the two.
00:05:00.560 --> 00:05:09.920
But I think society has moved to a place where we largely love from the ego, we love from the mind, and the heart has been lost.
00:05:10.480 --> 00:05:17.040
And you know, that's actually a skill to learn to connect to your heart, and it's something many of us are not taught to do.
00:05:17.199 --> 00:05:27.279
And there's a whole lot of factors that evolve or not evolve, they actually come from the fact that we don't love from the heart, we love from the ego.
00:05:27.439 --> 00:05:34.079
There's a whole lot of things that that are showing up in the world of dating and relating because that's how we work.
00:05:34.160 --> 00:05:38.000
You know, we focus on attraction and not love.
00:05:38.399 --> 00:05:47.600
Um we expect perfection, we expect our lovers to complete us rather than seeing them as the way to help us complete ourselves.
00:05:47.839 --> 00:05:49.040
And we think love.
00:05:49.360 --> 00:05:51.839
The idea of love is what we think about.
00:05:52.399 --> 00:05:53.680
We don't feel for it.
00:05:53.759 --> 00:05:58.959
And I think that's that's something that it took me many years to discover.
00:05:59.279 --> 00:06:01.600
So, what do you think this attraction thing is?
00:06:01.680 --> 00:06:05.279
You know, being attracted to another person.
00:06:05.439 --> 00:06:08.240
Now, I'm not into I'm not into transgender.
00:06:08.319 --> 00:06:10.000
This is not a woke program.
00:06:10.160 --> 00:06:13.600
I don't buy into diversity, equality, inclusion.
00:06:13.680 --> 00:06:16.240
I treat each human being as a human being.
00:06:16.480 --> 00:06:20.800
So you don't have to worry about political correctness here, and I reject the proposition.
00:06:21.040 --> 00:06:28.639
I say we have two sexes, male and female, and people, there are always exceptions to any rule, but not many.
00:06:28.959 --> 00:06:32.000
Anyway, so don't don't worry about that.
00:06:32.240 --> 00:06:36.879
So come to this question of being attracted to the opposite sex.
00:06:37.600 --> 00:06:43.040
You know, this this what's what's your sense around this attraction process?
00:06:44.160 --> 00:06:55.040
Well, my sense is that attraction is there are three elements, I think, core elements to a great relationship mind, body, and spirit.
00:06:55.360 --> 00:06:56.720
And spirit being love.
00:06:57.040 --> 00:06:59.839
Mind and body is where attraction plays.
00:07:00.480 --> 00:07:12.319
And you know, we we are all we are by nature going to be physically attracted to people, and we also tend to try to look for relationships with people who are like us.
00:07:13.040 --> 00:07:14.879
They they kind of are us.
00:07:14.959 --> 00:07:26.720
You know, we look if we're uh Catholic, we might look for a Catholic, or if we love dancing, we might look for someone who loves dancing, and those things are are great, but um it's not love.
00:07:26.879 --> 00:07:36.639
And one of the things I wrote about in this book, the truth about love is love is in incapable of being controlled or created by the human mind.
00:07:36.800 --> 00:07:38.160
It just is or it isn't.
00:07:38.240 --> 00:07:43.600
You're gonna meet someone and you're gonna love them or not, and you cannot control that.
00:07:43.839 --> 00:07:54.879
But you can alter attraction, you can change your preferences, you can change the kind of person you want to be with, or think, or physically, somebody might change.
00:07:54.959 --> 00:08:03.199
You know, you might meet someone you find incredibly attractive, and then they physicality, their physicality changes, then you don't find attraction to them.
00:08:03.600 --> 00:08:09.199
And the other thing I think about with attraction is the concepts of value and interest.
00:08:09.360 --> 00:08:14.240
So we look we try to find someone that we value and we're interested in.
00:08:14.639 --> 00:08:21.040
Um, but that unfortunately, the mythology that we've all come to believe is that that is love.
00:08:21.199 --> 00:08:22.160
That's not love.
00:08:22.639 --> 00:08:31.199
And many of the podcasts and things I listen to, these so-called psychologists talk about, these experts in love talk about love, but I never hear the word love talked about.
00:08:31.360 --> 00:08:33.279
They're talking about attraction.
00:08:34.000 --> 00:08:38.080
I'm uh I'm I'm forced, I'm forced to burst into song here.
00:08:38.320 --> 00:08:42.159
What's love got to do, got to do with it?
00:08:42.480 --> 00:08:43.440
What's love?
00:08:43.919 --> 00:08:46.559
But a second handy motion.
00:08:46.960 --> 00:08:48.240
Interesting line, isn't it?
00:08:48.399 --> 00:08:50.159
From Tina Turner.
00:08:50.559 --> 00:08:52.559
You know, but it has become that way.
00:08:52.720 --> 00:08:57.919
You know, I one of the things I had to do was actually learn how to feel love.
00:08:58.240 --> 00:09:02.720
And again, one of the things I talk about in this book called The Truth About Love is you cannot.
00:09:02.960 --> 00:09:07.360
You cannot feel love with another person beyond the love you can feel for yourself.
00:09:07.919 --> 00:09:11.039
That's a physical impossibility to do otherwise.
00:09:11.120 --> 00:09:12.639
So just stop there.
00:09:12.960 --> 00:09:34.559
I've I've often said that in my in my in the time that we spent together, and you and I have spent a lot of time together in in in different environments over the years, and you give me credit in your books for any guidance that I was able to share with you, so thank you for that for that compliment.
00:09:34.960 --> 00:09:49.360
So this question of these days with the internet and with something like Tinder, it's very easy to just bail out when things get tough.
00:09:49.840 --> 00:09:56.240
And so shit is happening in a relationship, and and then you're going, this is all too difficult.
00:09:57.279 --> 00:09:59.039
And go to Tinder.
00:09:59.360 --> 00:10:03.519
Look at the options, look at the incredible vast range of options.
00:10:05.679 --> 00:10:11.120
So there's this real problem of why would I stick in something that's difficult?
00:10:11.919 --> 00:10:13.600
What's your thinking on that?
00:10:14.399 --> 00:10:16.480
Well, I I agree with you.
00:10:16.559 --> 00:10:26.960
I did do internet dating years ago uh for a little while, but it what the problem with it is it it does create that commoditization or disposability of relationship.
00:10:27.039 --> 00:10:28.320
It's not working, yeah, exactly.
00:10:28.480 --> 00:10:29.840
Just try with someone else.
00:10:30.000 --> 00:10:34.720
But you know, I I've done a lot of work around conscious relationships.
00:10:34.879 --> 00:10:37.360
How do you actually make relationships work?
00:10:37.919 --> 00:10:45.519
And you know, the only way to do that really is to work through problems together for each, for yourself and for the other person.
00:10:45.679 --> 00:10:52.799
It's kind of a growth exercise, not just about love, and it's about increased, you know, awareness.
00:10:53.360 --> 00:11:13.200
And if you're not able to if you don't have the skill to be able to uh do what I would call conscious relating, um, you know, to feel into things, to express your feelings, to then express back, and then then you will m you will move to the blame game.
00:11:13.279 --> 00:11:16.080
And the ego will always take you into the blame game.
00:11:16.159 --> 00:11:20.720
It projects and it protects itself, whereas the heart doesn't do that.
00:11:21.039 --> 00:11:29.200
If you're in a place of love with someone, then you can work through your problems together with the right commitment and intent.
00:11:29.679 --> 00:11:31.519
But I don't think we're taught that.
00:11:31.679 --> 00:11:33.039
We're not taught that.
00:11:33.440 --> 00:11:35.600
I yes, we are not taught that.
00:11:35.679 --> 00:11:44.399
And so your five books and the and the latest helps to to go with the heart, not the ego, the heart love, not the ego love.
00:11:44.559 --> 00:11:54.240
And I think that's a really excellent sticky idea, because it will if we traverse the mind, and all the shows that I've done in the past are all about the mind.
00:11:54.559 --> 00:11:58.399
And the mind is designed to avoid pain.
00:11:59.759 --> 00:12:03.519
Your mind is designed to protect you from pain.
00:12:03.759 --> 00:12:10.320
And of course, because of the journey that we've been on, your pain might be my pleasure, and vice versa.
00:12:10.559 --> 00:12:15.919
For example, tonight, as we're recording this tonight, there's a big football match on, Mark.
00:12:16.159 --> 00:12:16.960
Yes, I'm going.
00:12:17.279 --> 00:12:18.799
You're you're a Roosters fan.
00:12:19.039 --> 00:12:19.440
I am.
00:12:19.600 --> 00:12:20.720
I am looking forward to that.
00:12:20.960 --> 00:12:31.200
So I want to I want to go to the excellent appendices that you have in this book, but before we do, you know, uh, we got caught up into the essence of this conversation.
00:12:31.360 --> 00:12:33.120
Give us a little background about you.
00:12:33.519 --> 00:12:39.679
How can an audit how can an accountant and auditor be talking about matters of love and the heart?
00:12:39.840 --> 00:12:41.600
What an incredible journey, hey.
00:12:42.559 --> 00:12:48.159
Look, my my story is one of, and you knew me in both contexts.
00:12:48.320 --> 00:12:56.960
Um, you know, I was what you would say was, you know, a relatively successful person who was following the normal paradigms of life.
00:12:57.200 --> 00:13:00.559
But my life kept, it was like a roller coaster.
00:13:00.720 --> 00:13:04.639
I would succeed and then I would supposedly fail, and things would go bad.
00:13:04.720 --> 00:13:22.960
And I got to the point where after losing jobs, losing relationships, losing access to children, losing you know, lots of money, all these things added up to a point where I just had to stop and say, well, why am I going through all this pain and despair?
00:13:23.200 --> 00:13:28.240
Because uh I kind of cracked and went, I'm just gonna face this.
00:13:28.399 --> 00:13:40.559
Because I there was a part of me that knew that I wasn't going through this for no reason, and it was also gonna lead me, you know, to higher wisdom to understand myself.
00:13:40.720 --> 00:13:44.639
Um I couldn't keep blaming the world because these things just kept happening.
00:13:44.879 --> 00:13:56.000
So I think I finally took responsibility for my own life, turned and faced it, and in that process I found that what was truly lacking in my life was love.
00:13:56.159 --> 00:13:57.840
I wasn't loving my life.
00:13:58.080 --> 00:13:59.759
I wasn't loving myself.
00:14:00.000 --> 00:14:06.159
I was not, I was in organizations which lacked love, I was in relationships which truly lacked love.
00:14:06.480 --> 00:14:08.480
It was the solution to everything.
00:14:09.600 --> 00:14:16.960
Well, it's been a wonderful, it's been a wonderful journey, and at the age that you are at, you've got many decades of contribution to make.
00:14:17.120 --> 00:14:23.919
Now, I'd like you to take us to the two appendices of your latest book, Your Ultimate Connection Awaits.
00:14:24.000 --> 00:14:31.919
And by the way, Mark's website, I'll repeat it again a bit later, is mark-worthington.com.
00:14:32.559 --> 00:14:37.200
W.markworthington.com.
00:14:37.519 --> 00:14:41.600
But can you explain the two appendices and give us some examples from it?
00:14:41.679 --> 00:14:44.240
Because I think they're excellent tools.
00:14:44.480 --> 00:14:53.519
And if all you did was buy this book and go to the appendices, you would have plenty of work to do for the next ten years on any relationship that you are in right now.
00:14:54.320 --> 00:15:01.279
And that's about the length of time that I took to learn all this to write this book and the other books.
00:15:01.519 --> 00:15:04.960
So I you know it isn't a five-minute exercise.
00:15:05.200 --> 00:15:14.320
Um, and I I do believe that one of the cornerstones of being getting good at make being in relationships that work is to actually learn from them.
00:15:14.480 --> 00:15:23.519
And what I found was it took me over 50 years to stop and prop and go, hang on, well, I I didn't learn from my mistakes, and I need to.
00:15:23.679 --> 00:15:35.440
So, you know, the checklists in this book are, with all the principles in the book, this the checklists are here to show people, um, just to get them to reflect within their relationships.
00:15:35.519 --> 00:15:37.039
Um, so there's two.
00:15:37.519 --> 00:15:39.279
There's there's my learnings.
00:15:39.600 --> 00:15:46.639
From someone who, you know, truly didn't do that well in relationships earlier in my life, then what did I learn?
00:15:46.799 --> 00:15:47.600
What did I learn?
00:15:47.679 --> 00:15:52.159
And what did I learn about the way I see it?
00:15:52.240 --> 00:15:58.399
You can either stay within the sort of normal paradigms of being in relationship or you can go for true love.
00:15:58.639 --> 00:16:02.639
And true love is possible, but it takes a lot of work.
00:16:02.799 --> 00:16:06.720
And the myth in society is that we can all just find true love.
00:16:06.799 --> 00:16:15.679
And I hate to disappoint people, but it's not actually case the case unless you actually do the work to work walk to work towards it.
00:16:16.000 --> 00:16:25.279
Um, so what what what this what this is is a checklist of all the things that I learned along my way of making mistakes.
00:16:25.440 --> 00:16:34.480
So for something like, you know, forget what others have told you about a great relationship, what what it should look like, and consider your own wants and needs.
00:16:34.720 --> 00:16:35.600
Write it down.
00:16:37.039 --> 00:16:39.360
You know, clarity overcomes confusion.
00:16:39.519 --> 00:16:58.000
I don't think people truly, I think we're conditioned to go after the kinds of people and relationships that we've seen our parents do or we've we've seen on television, and we we're trying to reproduce what what we think will impress society rather than going, well, what do I really want?
00:16:58.159 --> 00:16:59.840
What do I really want in a person?
00:17:00.639 --> 00:17:04.240
And how do that how does that make me feel if I'm in that?
00:17:04.400 --> 00:17:06.799
Because feeling is the main thing.
00:17:07.359 --> 00:17:12.000
Um always seek to be real or true in your relationships.
00:17:12.160 --> 00:17:17.279
If you pretend to be something you're not, you're only setting yourself up for disappointment.
00:17:17.759 --> 00:17:23.200
Um, I I think we we often go into relationships in a kind of a pretense.
00:17:23.359 --> 00:17:26.480
I'm going to pretend to be what I think the other person wants.
00:17:26.960 --> 00:17:33.759
And what psychologists say is you can only do that for two to three years, and then the cracks will appear.
00:17:34.079 --> 00:17:36.240
And then the truth comes out.
00:17:36.720 --> 00:17:44.480
And so with a lack of truth in relationships, from the beginning often, we're pretending we're it's a performance.
00:17:44.799 --> 00:17:45.440
That's true.
00:17:45.599 --> 00:17:49.039
We are we are showing our best side, aren't we?
00:17:49.359 --> 00:17:49.759
Yes.
00:17:50.000 --> 00:18:04.079
And indeed, one of the truisms that I live by is that who when I see you, when I see other people in public, we are seeing most of the time the best side that people can portray to us.
00:18:04.240 --> 00:18:07.119
They're not giving us all the crap in their lives, are they?
00:18:07.440 --> 00:18:14.400
No, and then there's actually a um I think it's the Turkish who say that to truly love someone you need to fall in love with them twice.
00:18:14.640 --> 00:18:17.279
You fall in love with their upfront image.
00:18:17.519 --> 00:18:24.880
But then once you relate to them for a period of time, you'll start to see their faults, and then you need to fall in love again with the truth of them.
00:18:25.599 --> 00:18:34.000
Um but if you can start out with being completely truthful from the beginning, then that sets you up for something very special.
00:18:34.079 --> 00:18:41.599
And I and I would suggest that's why you and Julie are so good at this, because I know you well enough to know you don't bullshit.
00:18:42.960 --> 00:18:51.839
And there's another important thing that you mentioned earlier that because of the journey that Julie went on, you used the word responsibility.
00:18:52.880 --> 00:19:03.680
Okay, so that so that this willingness to take responsibility for our feelings is so profoundly important rather than blaming another person for what you're feeling.
00:19:03.920 --> 00:19:11.359
And so that was that's when you can be truthful with another person if each party is willing to take responsibility.
00:19:11.519 --> 00:19:18.160
And that then translates into the personal developments that each party has done.
00:19:18.400 --> 00:19:24.079
And in my experience, women are much more interested in personal development than men.
00:19:24.559 --> 00:19:24.880
Yes.
00:19:24.960 --> 00:19:27.759
They are is that your experience?
00:19:28.079 --> 00:19:32.640
Yes, and I did the Mind Body Spirit Festival, as you know, last year a couple of times.
00:19:32.720 --> 00:19:38.319
And one of the things I found was a lot of women coming up to me saying, I'm falling out of love with my husband.
00:19:38.480 --> 00:19:39.519
Why is this the case?
00:19:39.680 --> 00:19:45.039
And it's because they are pursuing higher awareness about themselves.
00:19:45.599 --> 00:19:50.960
And when you do that, you naturally lift your call it frequency of love.
00:19:51.440 --> 00:20:00.559
But if your partner is not pursuing a similar path and is still just focused on, say, work and money, then the frequency between you shifts.
00:20:00.799 --> 00:20:04.000
And that, you know, love is a frequency match.
00:20:04.240 --> 00:20:08.000
If you're not growing together, you run the risk of growing apart.
00:20:08.160 --> 00:20:09.680
It's almost inevitable.
00:20:09.839 --> 00:20:13.119
The feelings will shift because the frequency shifts.
00:20:13.599 --> 00:20:24.400
Um and I think that's I love I love the idea of I love the idea of frequency, Mark, because all the other work that I'm doing, you and I are just energy events.
00:20:24.880 --> 00:20:27.839
Deepak Chopra says we're just energy events.
00:20:28.079 --> 00:20:32.240
And so our energy will all runs on frequency, doesn't it?
00:20:32.559 --> 00:20:39.680
Yeah, and women are much more akin to trying to improve their awareness, which increased it naturally increases their frequency.
00:20:40.160 --> 00:20:47.680
And men are often more focused on it's you know, it is an element of the male, female, masculine, feminine energies.
00:20:47.759 --> 00:20:50.960
But men are higher in masculine energy.
00:20:51.279 --> 00:20:53.920
Masculine energy is more a doing energy.
00:20:54.400 --> 00:21:04.799
Whereas the feminine energy is more a being energy, and therefore you get this separation if they're not if you're not working on things together, separation is almost inevitable.
00:21:05.440 --> 00:21:10.480
I hate to say it, and then people end up in relationships that trend to mediocrity.
00:21:10.559 --> 00:21:27.759
I mean, statistically, nearly 50% of marriages divorce, and they the psychologists say that about 35% of the 50% remaining, or or 35%, um, trend to mediocrity and unhappiness.
00:21:27.920 --> 00:21:29.920
They might not they might not divorce.
00:21:30.000 --> 00:21:33.519
So it's 85% of relationships that ultimately go wrong.
00:21:33.839 --> 00:21:36.640
That to me is a national tragedy.
00:21:38.160 --> 00:21:55.039
Yes, and it's it's the it's the desire, well, just because of diff different frequencies and the lack of awareness, literally, it's because there's a weed, but many times people can't identify what the weed is and what the plant is.
00:21:55.200 --> 00:22:10.319
And indeed, last week in um Victoria's number one uh newspaper on the Sunday newspaper there was an insert on how do you know your your relationship is on the skids similar to the issues you're dealing with.
00:22:10.400 --> 00:22:42.799
Now coming back to these two appendices mark because I distracted you you have the lessons that the the key learnings I've added it up there's over 70 key learnings that you've got in appendix one and and we'll I want you to highlight another couple but then I want you to go to appendix two which has got a series of excellent questions that a cup couples can use but just come back give us another couple of your key learnings that you had as I say more than 70 of them are listed here.
00:22:42.960 --> 00:23:06.880
That's a lot of learning there Mark yeah um you know I'll call it the mirror effect so a relationship partner is someone who mirrors you it it is it is it is we we always blame the other person for giving us certain things but um they are the mirror of you and if what you put out you get back.
00:23:07.039 --> 00:23:09.759
So what you put out in a relationship you'll get back.
00:23:10.079 --> 00:24:03.440
And we don't understand that we will always have that you know it's the um what's the the I can't think of the the scientific um you know law that applies there but um you know what you put out will come back to you and law of reciprocity perhaps yeah yeah yeah or every action has an equal an opposite reaction it's um Newton's third law I think it is so it's you know we we don't see that in relationships we don't understand that in relationships um and and therefore you know we tend to blame and walk away um and judgment is I I call judgment the great the great separator when you judge another person you actually will ultimately you lead to separation.
00:24:03.839 --> 00:24:34.079
That's a great line judgment is the ultimate separator everybody please note that I love it judgment is the ultimate separator in a relationship yeah so here's another one love can only be expressed in presence so do your best to be fully present with your partner especially when it matters most to you um we often live in the future or the past you know we're in a relationship we're thinking about what we're going to do next year or what we did last year or what kitchen we're gonna build.
00:24:34.240 --> 00:25:10.400
We're not present with ours with each other and presence is what creates connection without presence there's no connection is distorted so you know often we'll focus on what we'll do together rather than just being together and just maybe sitting in nature and loving each other like it's it it it has become a um relationships have become a focus on winning competition like how how can I get what I want out of this relationship?
00:25:10.640 --> 00:25:14.079
Not how can I just experience love?
00:25:14.240 --> 00:25:36.960
To me that's when you find that you've got infinite possibility love is infinite love is indeed the infinite give me another lesson and then we'll go to the questions well never never ignore sexual denial for too long because it is normally a symptom not the disease that a relationship is is fading.
00:25:37.279 --> 00:25:52.960
So you know um love making is exactly that we think of it as some sort of sexual achievement but to me making love is the expression of love.
00:25:53.119 --> 00:26:11.599
It's and sex is the expression of love and yet we so often don't see it that way so um you know I I think sexual the the the myth is that sexual um polarity with your partner will fade eventually.
00:26:11.839 --> 00:26:13.279
I don't think that's true.
00:26:13.519 --> 00:26:28.640
And I know that you don't believe that either no I don't believe that and that's my certainly my experience that you know in an excellent role in a in a truly loving relationship the sexual expression increases over time rather than fades.
00:26:29.759 --> 00:26:34.960
Which is expansion which is expansion all right let's go to questions.
00:26:35.119 --> 00:26:40.319
So let's everybody contemplate a couple that you know is having troubles.
00:26:40.480 --> 00:26:45.440
Of course none of you watching or listening to this podcast have any relationship troubles.
00:26:45.519 --> 00:26:56.480
We know that Mark we make that so give us give us three or four of the really challenging questions that a couple committed so here's the question we touched on it earlier.
00:26:56.640 --> 00:27:01.359
You know people go oh this is all too difficult I'll go back onto Tinder and get the next relationship.
00:27:01.599 --> 00:27:05.039
And just keep just keep running away from difficulty.
00:27:05.200 --> 00:27:18.000
All right so give me give me some of your three or four recommended difficult questions in a relationship when you go, I want this relationship to work.
00:27:18.240 --> 00:27:18.480
Go.
00:27:18.880 --> 00:27:19.119
Yeah.
00:27:19.440 --> 00:27:32.559
Okay so how conscious are you of the core beliefs that you both built in life and from where they arose so you know one of the things that a relationship will always expose is the core belief structure differences between you.
00:27:33.119 --> 00:27:44.319
People think because they're of the same religion or they went to a similar school or they lived in a similar suburb that they're going to be um the same and they're going to be fully compatible.
00:27:44.480 --> 00:27:51.279
Well unfortunately within all of us sits belief structures that we often don't even understand.
00:27:51.839 --> 00:27:59.599
They've been inherited passed down from people to people and you know often generated by the family of origin that we live in.
00:27:59.759 --> 00:28:17.759
But how many of us truly understand our belief structures and how they actually work and love will expose that it's part of its role you know if you look at the intelligence of love it'll go after these belief structure differences.
00:28:18.480 --> 00:28:33.119
Do you understand what your partner needs and wants from you and how changes in these can be discussed and resolved between you one of the things that we do in most normal relationships is we enter with a set of needs.
00:28:33.359 --> 00:28:43.279
Now more advanced people don't have needs they obviously they move to delete their needs and move to a place of just want but that's a pretty rare person.
00:28:44.480 --> 00:29:10.880
But how often do we sit with our partner and say well how are your needs changing and how can I meet your needs because as we age our needs will will generally change you know a woman in her late twenties or in her 20s is probably wanting fun and then in her 30s she's wanting to settle down have kids and then you know when she gets a bit older she's interested in her self-development and she wants a man who'll do that with her.
00:29:11.039 --> 00:29:22.799
So but I I don't think and I and I can throw myself in the bucket here when I was in my marriage I made a lot of assumptions about what my partner wanted or needed.
00:29:22.960 --> 00:29:29.279
I didn't didn't even ask her just to shoot oh this this is what I believe I'm meant to do I'll do it.
00:29:29.359 --> 00:29:41.359
Well I didn't change but if I'd known what she how her needs were shifting then I probably could have avoided divorce perhaps but how often do we have those bloody conversations?
00:29:41.519 --> 00:29:55.440
We do it in the office we don't do it in our do you understand what each of you finds of value and of interest in in in each other do you really know why they love you or they say they love you.
00:29:55.680 --> 00:29:59.440
I I I don't know that many people would have those conversations.
00:30:04.000 --> 00:30:11.200
What are your core values in life and to what extent are these aligned or in contravention between you two?
00:30:11.359 --> 00:30:36.400
Now you know if it's really fascinating when you sit down and say write on a piece of paper what your five or six core beliefs are or sorry values are then look at your life and you will see a direct correlation between your values and your life so if you don't understand the difference between the values that you hold and your partner holds then you're gonna head off in different directions.
00:30:36.559 --> 00:30:39.839
It's it's the way energy works it must do so.
00:30:42.400 --> 00:30:51.039
How do you plan to recognize and celebrate experiences in your relationships that can take it to a whole new level and increase your awareness.
00:30:51.200 --> 00:30:52.799
It's not all about problems.
00:30:52.960 --> 00:31:00.480
How much do we celebrate and how much fun do we actually have I I believe that in my marriage I lost the ability to have fun.
00:31:01.279 --> 00:31:06.240
I was so based so focused on money and work and providing for my family and kids.
00:31:06.480 --> 00:31:17.359
Well it was you weren't it seems to me you weren't focused on money but you were focused on money because it enabled you to do what you thought was your task to look after wife and five children.
00:31:17.759 --> 00:31:29.200
Yes I didn't earn the money for me I earned it for them and ultimately I gave the wrong currency in my marriage I should have given the currency of love not the currency of money.
00:31:29.440 --> 00:31:36.799
Yes beautifully put yes I see that now coming then so thank you that they are excellent questions.
00:31:37.920 --> 00:31:41.039
The last second last one of the questions please turn to that one.
00:31:41.920 --> 00:31:48.640
Yeah so if problems arise in your relationship how will you raise these with each other and discuss the problems?
00:31:49.119 --> 00:32:02.960
So let's let's unpack that because because one of the things that men joke about is that the worst phone call to get from your wife is when in the when they ring you in the morning and say we're gonna talk tonight.
00:32:05.680 --> 00:32:16.480
And so the and or vice versa but but you know this this is what blokes joke about because I don't know what women joke about you know that's me that's women's secret business.
00:32:17.119 --> 00:32:27.119
If problems arise and so so Mike what's the question what what observation have you found around dealing with problems?
00:32:27.440 --> 00:32:43.440
Because you've you've also managed large numbers of people in your journey working with one of the major banks in this country so you understand what it's like to be in a in a very large corporate and the pressures that people are under and talking about problems.
00:32:43.680 --> 00:32:48.400
So what would you recommend if someone said Mark how would how what what's your recommended process?
00:32:48.559 --> 00:34:49.599
Here you are husband wife I know you're not a counsellor but based on your experience how should we deal with problems well I I think it's an ongoing thing not just uh when things go bad and I also think intuition is the word that comes to mind you know if you're simply relying on the other person's word um although you know you want to do that you you you you need to be capable of of witnessing the behavioral shifts or the motions of your partner and and being prepared to say hey you know you seem to be upset can we sit and talk about this and let me understand how I can help things um I found the best way is to simply hold hands look into each other's eyes and really say hey I'm I really want to resolve this rather than you know a lot of men particularly are guilty of well if she's not going to say it I'm not gonna deal with it and you know they they tend to um bury their because men are more prone to bury their feelings than women but women might also not want to upset so they you know the their their emotional response to a man may shift and they may become owned by that but then there's not enough honest just regular conversations about hey you know one of the things I've found as I've become more connected to myself is I can sh I can feel the shift in the energy of my partner and I can say to her hey I'm sensing a different energy and I'm sensing that something's worrying you and often I'll see it before them but they'll come back and go oh yeah and that's because this and it may have nothing to do with me there may be something else in their life that um I can at least listen to you know the as they say men are more prone to uh try and solve the problem whereas women are quite capable of solving their own problems.
00:34:49.679 --> 00:34:54.400
They just want to feel compassion from you and feel understanding.
00:34:54.559 --> 00:35:01.679
And if you're not offering that then you know the gap starts to widen.
00:35:02.000 --> 00:35:24.159
As they as they say in the classics you say to somebody how are you you to your partner, to your lover to your spouse how are you and she says or he says fine great I can move on yeah exactly but the intuition if I learnt one thing in my marriage is I should have trusted my intuition more than the words that I heard.
00:35:24.480 --> 00:35:27.920
Alright now let's I'll get the killer dealer question for you.
00:35:28.239 --> 00:35:42.239
So from these lessons my friend that you have learned and you've written five books about all of this how is and we haven't rehearsed this you you didn't I didn't send you a set of questions correct?
00:35:42.559 --> 00:36:24.800
Correct yeah you said you wanted to give me some proformers I don't need proformers and I said no we just go with our intuition or my intuition because I'm asking the questions so what steps have you taken so that your children gain the benefit of your hard won knowledge and wisdom well I spend a lot of time I've got adult children now the youngest is 23 but I have obviously given them my books but also I spend time coaching them I see myself less as a well I'm still a father but I'm also a guide to them.
00:36:24.960 --> 00:36:41.679
So I I spend time with them just if they've got particularly if they've got relationship issues with their partners I I I always spend time with them getting them to understand the issues but I always get them to understand that the problem starts with them.
00:36:41.920 --> 00:36:44.000
They cannot blame the other person.
00:36:44.159 --> 00:36:47.280
They must first go inward before they go outward.
00:36:47.519 --> 00:36:59.519
That's the number one piece of advice I give to them you need to understand your contribution here what you could have done differently and how are you enabling this problem before you go and talk to the other person.
00:37:00.320 --> 00:37:07.920
And I spend a lot of time getting them to take responsibility for their situation and move away from blame always.
00:37:08.079 --> 00:37:42.880
It's the one thing I think I've done well in my certainly in my last ten years of my life is to realize the power of taking responsibility and I and I ask them to do the same and I think you know particular one of my eldest sons you know I do think one of his relationships may not have worked and if he hadn't come to me and gone you know I think he was on the verge of giving up and I got him to see that hang on you got to take the responsibility here this is you are 50% of this problem.
00:37:43.199 --> 00:37:55.280
And if you can't go to your partner and say I've looked at this situation and here is what I think I could do better then you can't expect them to just say well I'm gonna do you what are you going to do better?
00:37:55.360 --> 00:37:57.760
You know it's got to it's got to be a two-way stream.
00:37:58.159 --> 00:38:59.519
Hmm very good and I I commend you that is such a profound liberator taking responsibility because and and teaching that principle the other thing I've learned from Buckminster Fuller and again regular viewers and listeners know my com my my deep deep um interest and commitment to learning and teaching what Buckminster Fuller taught one of the one of the um core principles that he taught and I share with all of you and I've done programs on this topic his quote is the more mistakes I make the smarter I am the more mistakes I make the smarter I am and part of the problem in our society is that we get rewarded for getting the right answer and we get punished for the wrong answer.
00:38:59.760 --> 00:40:17.360
So people spend their lives avoiding mistakes so you have been with the five books that you've written they're full of your mistakes yeah well I don't think I don't think I can genuinely stand up in front of people and say I understand this unless I'm a walking talking version of I've been through it I've experienced it and I've changed you know that to me is more powerful than learning something from a textbook um you know I I'm not a psychologist as you pointed out what I've done is ripped myself apart and looked at you know lots of wisdom from others and said well how can I and others you know become more conscious in the way we live our lives including relationships what is more important than the relationship you have there's two things I think people really want out of life and that is a really successful career and a really beautiful relationship with a partner and I've tried to focus some of my work on that because that's where I felt I suffered by virtue of not being I wasn't conscious enough to make these things work when I was younger.
00:40:17.599 --> 00:40:21.199
I am now there's plenty got plenty of time plenty of time to go.
00:40:21.280 --> 00:41:07.039
Now last question but before I do the the book is your ultimate connection awakes and Mark's website is markworthington.com So Mark I said you've got plenty of time provided you look after your health now I would like you to share your health strategies not your health journey but these days with the learning that you've had and we've had conversations about this can you share what you do to be in excellent health just your regime because one of them is exercise like I've been training for triathlons and competing in them for 40 years.
00:41:07.280 --> 00:41:20.639
I've been for bike ride this morning so so not training is not an option but I want to hear about your your tips for that are keeping you in great shape and I hope you're going to be around for another 50 years at least.
00:41:21.199 --> 00:41:43.119
Well as you said the first one's exercise so I go to the gym five times a week the second one is one I'm developing which is is eating well you know I think there were years where I didn't do that but I'm now focused very heavily on what I put in my mouth but you know the third one which I think is often overlooked is is emotion.
00:41:43.280 --> 00:43:00.639
So when you when you're feeling negative emotion a lot of my work has been around learning from my pain learning from my emotions and when you look at the word emotion it's simply energy requiring motion so when you allow feelings to be understood and expressed that brings out your um it releases it from your body now most aging is actually an illness arises from trapped negative energy within your body and within your energy field for those who believe in that and you know we talk science talks that spending billions of dollars on trying to solve the aging problem let me tell you it's inside you so I think to me that's actually you know looking after the body is great and looking after the diet but if you're not looking after your energy and actually valuing your emotions that can do more damage from the inside out and so that's where I spend a lot of my I would spend at least an hour a day investigating what I'm feeling.
00:43:00.800 --> 00:43:01.920
What am I feeling today?
00:43:02.000 --> 00:43:03.440
What is that telling me about me?
00:43:03.599 --> 00:43:06.159
What's that telling me about my belief structures?
00:43:06.400 --> 00:43:08.159
Is there something I need to change?
00:43:08.320 --> 00:43:21.679
Is there something I need to do is there something I need to confront and I'm feeling you know I I think I'm very light inside me now because I do that process every day and that's the most important thing I do.
00:43:22.719 --> 00:43:37.920
So emotions exercise and eat see three E's you make it exercise eat emotions like that the E cubed that's right it's very good.
00:43:38.239 --> 00:43:59.760
All right Mark lovely to be with you congratulations on five books so again run through them again first book you've got it there we go in order and read out the read out the titles first book is where your happiness hides and that's where I investigated deeply the power of my belief structures I actually identify in this book what I
00:44:00.159 --> 00:44:08.400
I think are the 22 core belief structures that most human beings suffer from, having limited belief structures.
00:44:08.559 --> 00:44:10.559
That took a lot of work to come up with that.
00:44:11.760 --> 00:44:14.480
This is my business book, Show Me the Harmony.
00:44:14.559 --> 00:44:22.000
This is how do you actually create loving corporate relationships, uh corporate environments?
00:44:22.079 --> 00:44:28.079
Because I believe, and as you taught me, Charles, that a lot of um organizations live on fear.
00:44:28.239 --> 00:44:30.480
And it's not how you get the best out of people.
00:44:30.800 --> 00:44:32.639
It's not great leadership.
00:44:32.719 --> 00:44:39.199
So I put my formulas in here as to how to do that, and that was something I think I excelled at in my career.
00:44:41.039 --> 00:44:41.679
You certainly did.
00:44:41.760 --> 00:44:42.639
I have evidence of that.
00:44:42.719 --> 00:44:44.880
You did succeed in that third one?
00:44:45.440 --> 00:44:46.800
From pain to possibility.
00:44:46.880 --> 00:44:55.199
So I, you know, not well known to people, but I suffered from a uh very debilitating muscle disorder, which doctors told me would kill me.
00:44:55.360 --> 00:44:56.800
Well, it didn't, obviously.
00:44:57.039 --> 00:45:00.000
And it didn't because I learned to work with the pain.
00:45:00.159 --> 00:45:04.880
The pain was just a message from my soul that something needed to change.
00:45:05.119 --> 00:45:15.280
And the moment I started to alter my responses to my pain, the pain went away, the disease went away, and the doctors still can't work out how I did that.
00:45:15.519 --> 00:45:21.599
I'm not the only one in the world who understands that, but No, it's no one had your experience.
00:45:22.320 --> 00:45:24.239
No, no one had my particular experience.
00:45:24.400 --> 00:45:36.079
This one, the truth about love, was my you know, I did a lot of very deep research into the relationship between love, light, and consciousness, but also how does love work?
00:45:36.159 --> 00:45:38.960
What is the infinite intelligence that sits within love?
00:45:39.119 --> 00:45:41.679
Love itself is an intelligence.
00:45:41.920 --> 00:45:46.639
We feel it, but it's actually our link to infinite intelligence.
00:45:46.719 --> 00:45:55.599
And if you understand how it actually works, you can see how it plays out in relationships and how to get to true love, which is something we all talk about.
00:45:56.239 --> 00:46:00.239
But I think that's that's more a principles book.
00:46:00.480 --> 00:46:10.719
And of course the one we've talked about today um Your Ultimate Connection Awaits is is my practical version of relationships aren't working, what's the problem here?
00:46:10.880 --> 00:46:11.920
How do we fix it?
00:46:12.000 --> 00:46:18.400
Or how can people make their romantic lives better because I think it matters to all of us.
00:46:18.880 --> 00:46:24.159
And if there was if there was more, if there was more I was gonna say fucking, but I won't.
00:46:24.400 --> 00:46:31.519
If there was more wonderful sex happening, we would fulfill the 1960s mantra of make love not war.
00:46:32.079 --> 00:46:34.320
A great mystic to live by.
00:46:34.880 --> 00:46:43.599
Yeah, and as as I said, um you know the ancient the ancient Chinese used to say that we are just pure sexual energy.
00:46:43.760 --> 00:46:48.400
Well, sexual energy requires expression for us to be completely joyous.
00:46:48.880 --> 00:46:49.519
Well said.
00:46:49.679 --> 00:46:50.480
Thank you, Mark.
00:46:50.559 --> 00:46:52.159
Congratulations on five books.
00:46:52.239 --> 00:47:01.920
I love the number five because you've got five children, I've got five children, so and five in for those into numerology means certain things, you can discover that in your own journey.
00:47:02.159 --> 00:47:07.519
Thank you, and I wish you well, and I recommend that people check out your website, buy the books.
00:47:07.599 --> 00:47:10.400
All of them are available on your website, I assume.
00:47:10.960 --> 00:47:11.920
Yes, they are.
00:47:12.079 --> 00:47:12.800
Excellent.
00:47:13.039 --> 00:47:13.679
Thank you.
00:47:14.480 --> 00:47:15.679
Thank you very much, Charles.
00:47:15.760 --> 00:47:17.519
It's been a pleasure as usual.
00:47:17.840 --> 00:47:18.480
Thank you.
