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You want the best for your teen. You want them to succeed, make good choices, and build a life they can be proud of. But what happens when the expectations you have for your child start to feel like pressure to them?
If you’re anything like me, you might be thinking right now, “But I don’t expect my kid to become a doctor!” And neither did I. But parental expectations and pressure can be much more subtle than that. Sometimes they show up in the activities we encourage, the questions we ask. the future we picture for our kids, or even in our definition of what “success” should look like. I’ve had to look at this in my own parenting, too, and today’s conversation gave me plenty to think about.
In this episode, I’m joined by Justin Levine, who was once a struggling teen in treatment, dealing with severe anxiety and OCD while also trying to keep up with the expectations he felt around school, running, and his future. Today, he works as a coach and mentor for teens and young adults, helping them build confidence, independence, and a sense of purpose.
Justin gives us something I think every parent of a struggling teen can benefit from hearing: the perspective of the kid who was actually living it.
We talk honestly about parental expectations and pressure and how difficult it can be to tell the difference between encouraging your teen and unintentionally taking over the steering wheel of their life.
For Justin, one of the biggest turning points came when he realized that some of the goals he was working toward weren’t actually his own. His experience offers a powerful perspective for parents: sometimes, giving your teen more ownership doesn’t mean giving up on them. It may be exactly what allows them to finally find their own motivation.
We also talk about what can happen when a teen enters treatment without truly being ready to engage in the work, why simply “checking the boxes” isn’t the same as changing, and how family dynamics can contribute to disconnection on both sides.
If you’ve ever felt afraid of what might happen if you loosen your grip a little, this conversation offers a perspective you’ll want to hear.
In this episode on parental expectations and pressure, we discuss:
- How anxiety, perfectionism, and OCD can hide behind high achievement
- Why your teen’s behavior may not tell you the whole story of what’s happening internally
- When an activity that once brought your teen joy becomes another source of pressure
- The complicated dynamic that can happen when a parent is also a coach
- Knowing when to encourage your teen and when to step back
- Why simply “doing the work” in treatment doesn't necessarily mean your teen is ready to change
- The difference between completing treatment and actually engaging in the process
- How parental expectations can unintentionally create pressure and disconnection
- The importance of letting your teen develop goals that actually belong to them
- How Justin eventually repaired and strengthened his relationship with his parents
- The role a mentor can play between therapy, treatment, and everyday life
- How a trusted person outside the parent-child relationship can help a struggling teen move toward independence
More about Justin Levine
Justin Levine is the Founder and Head Coach of Strive to Thrive Coaching, a coaching practice dedicated to helping adolescents, emerging adults, families, and athletes build confidence, independence, and purpose. Justin's perspective is both professional and deeply personal. As a teenager, he attended wilderness therapy and residential treatment himself. That experience inspired him to return to the field—not as a client, but as a mentor, researcher, and clinician—eventually serving as Director of Neuro Health at Telos Residential Treatment Center before founding Strive to Thrive Coaching to provide the kind of support he wishes had been available after leaving treatment.
Learn more at → https://strivetothrivecoaching.org
Looking for support?
🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!
🧘Learn how to respond in hard moments, without losing your cool, the relationship, or yourself, inside my 6-week Boundaries Masterclass.
🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.
Have a question or need support? You can email me at beth@bethhillmancoaching.com
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I hope to see you there!
