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One of the most helpful tools in systemic therapy is identifying primary and secondary goals. Otherwise we get hypnotised by words.
I say I want to run a marathon but I smoke, eat pizza and don't even wear running shoes? Maybe I'm not a hypocrite, but maybe my primary goal is to do nothing whilst claiming I want to do sport, so I can feel better about myself.
That's with an individual.
But introduce another person in a relationship. They say they want a loving relationship but they start conflict at the worst possible moments? Maybe that's because it's the easiest way to extract energy from you. And if they didn't say that they want a loving relationship, you'd leave?
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搜索以前的节目
搜索Decoding Narcissism, Manipulation And Toxic Ideas, with Frederik Ribersson以前的节目。
本播客中的其他单集
One of the first things narcissists do to make people take sides, such as after a break up, is Reputation Destruction. They will not only gossip, but also lie. Fabricate events. Mix truths and lies. And remove context. They play the "first mover advantage". Provided they can place an id...
I noticed a series of strange signals before things get really weird - but I reacted calmly: I was prepared, this time. I'd started speaking with a woman at the hotel gym. I noticed some weird comments. Each, taken individually, didn't mean much, but together should have alerted me.
I was going ...
A friend was upset: he's fallen out with an ex colleague, whom I happen to know. He was worried because of a former "colleague" who was smearing him. I happen to know the guy, and found him weird.
In this episode I share part of our conversation. This is relevant for anyone having to d...
Narcissists HATE people talking. Why? Because they can't control what is said. They don't know what is said. That creates uncertainty and reduces their power.
And yes, they will happily talk behind others' backs. Create falsehoods, narratives. But when people speak, they will realise conflicting ...
免责声明: 本页面嵌入的播客和封面图片来自 Frederik Ribersson，归其所有者所有，与 Listen Notes, Inc. 无关联，也未获得 Listen Notes, Inc. 背书。
