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Perimenopause can feel like an unexpected identity shift. Your body changes, your sleep changes, your confidence takes a hit, and even the things that once brought you joy can start to feel different.
In this episode, I’m joined by Kim Bilyk, founder of Queen of Turn On, for an honest conversation about what’s really happening during perimenopause and menopause—and how women can reclaim their energy, confidence, pleasure, and sense of self.
We explore how changing levels of oestrogen, progesterone, and testosterone can affect libido, motivation, mood, inflammation, insulin resistance, and overall wellbeing. Kim shares practical insights into hormone health, HRT, and why women need to become informed advocates for their own health rather than settling for one-size-fits-all solutions.
We also discuss the powerful role of nervous system regulation, the impact of chronic stress and cortisol, and simple practices that can help women feel more grounded, connected, and in control. From body confidence and self-trust to intimacy, vaginal health, and honest communication with partners, this conversation tackles topics that many women experience but few openly discuss.
We finish by looking at long-term health, including the importance of strength training for muscle mass, metabolism, bone density, balance, and maintaining independence as we age.
Whether you're currently navigating perimenopause, approaching menopause, or supporting someone who is, this episode offers practical tools, expert insights, and empowering conversations to help you move through this stage of life with greater confidence and clarity.
In this episode, we discuss:
• Perimenopause and menopause symptoms
• Hormones, HRT, and women’s health
• Libido, intimacy, and vaginal health
• Stress, cortisol, and nervous system regulation
• Body confidence and self-trust
• Strength training and healthy ageing
• How to advocate for your health and ask better questions
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who could benefit from this conversation.
Website: www.sacredwombcycles.com
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With code WOMB15 can receive 15% off your order.
If you are enjoying my work then you can support me by 'buying me a coffee' at this page
I look forward to connecting with you Anita Mattu https://linktr.ee/AnitaMattu
播客笔记 🔗
文字稿 🔗
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I want all my perimenopause and beyond women to be orgasmic for the rest of their life.
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Like we don't have to like, you know, live this story that we don't deserve pleasure.
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You have to know what you want and what creates pleasure for you so that you could ask for it.
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Today's guest is Kim Bilyk, founder of Queen of Turn on.
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Welcome, Kim.
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Hi, Anita.
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Thank you so much for having me.
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I'm really excited for this conversation.
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I've been talking to colleagues and friends, and they've actually given me a couple of questions they'd like to answer as well.
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Oh, I I I love that.
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Because I know sometimes like when it comes to women's health, there's some taboo topics or shame.
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So I think that's great that you were able to get some questions.
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Yes.
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Um, because I said I'm doing this great podcast.
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They said, Yeah, we want to know this.
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We want to That's what I'm here for.
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Absolutely.
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So with that said, what is one of the most courageous things that you have done?
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Ooh, I feel like one of the most courageous things I have done.
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There's so many, but I think the most recent comes to mind is healing from being hit by a car.
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It's been, I'm about July will be two years since it happened.
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I was crossing the street, um, got uh hit by an SUV as a pedestrian and got thrown 25 feet.
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So I'm blessed to still be here today.
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And that was about a year-long journey of healing, and I basically did that alone.
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100 medical appointments, my family's back up in Canada.
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Um, I had just gone through a breakup, so I was single and going through that and using the tools that I give to my clients on myself.
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Like it's one thing to go through the training and to give it to somebody else, but to really dive in and use the tools myself and go through that journey.
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Don't get me wrong, I had some really bad days, but I think it's amazing that these tools helped me not go on any antidepressant.
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I wasn't on any pain meds, and I didn't go on any like anti-anxiety medication or anything like that.
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So I think that journey is probably one of my biggest courageous moments.
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Yeah, I'd say.
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Wow, well done.
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I mean, it's like that's quite an achievement, not to like take all the drugs and that and really focus and do it for yourself and really get motivated to help yourself.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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For those who may not know you, can you share a little about your journey and what led you to Queen of Turn On?
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Yes.
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So um, yes, as Anita said, I'm founder of Queen of Turn On, and I help women reignite their energy, their passion, and turn on for life.
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And this has been quite a journey myself.
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It actually started about nine years ago.
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So, really at the core is I'm helping women connect to their bodies, connect to their health.
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And this is from the very foundation of looking at your labs, your hormone labs, and seeing what you're eating and your exercise and what we're putting on our bodies and moving through this journey of that inner work, nervous system regulation, stress management, some of that inner healing from maybe even from our childhood.
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And then coming to the other side, I shouldn't even say the other side, it's part of the journey of reclaiming our pleasure both in the bedroom and out of the bedroom.
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And it all started nine years ago when I was a bikini competitor.
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And I had lost my period for nine months, which is also known as amenorrhea.
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And I remember going to the doctor, uh, and the only thing they had to offer me was birth control.
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And I knew that wasn't the answer.
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I knew my bikini competition was a big factor.
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And in that time, I was very involved in the health and wellness community in Los Angeles, and I was hearing the same thing.
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I was very vocal about my journey and I was hearing the same thing from women.
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I feel so alone.
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I don't feel heard, and the only option I'm being given is birth control and in some cases surgery.
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And I was like, I want to be a change from that, for the from this.
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And, you know, I've been through a bit of a journey myself as I came to Queen of Turn On, but now being 41, you know, there's I feel like perimenopause, yes, it's a real word, but it's a bit of a buzzword right now.
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And there's a lot of, to in my eyes, a lot of negativity around it, like all the negative symptoms.
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But what if we could look at it from a positive light?
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And even as we look at these symptoms and being proactive, and really at the end of the day, most women aren't waking up and being like, I don't want to be in perimenopause anymore.
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They want to be like, I want to be more connected to my body, I want more passion in my relationship, I want to feel more turned on, so I'm more focused at work or with my kids.
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And this is where Queen of Turn On has been born.
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And that's so wonderful because it is a buzzword, perimenopause, right now, and let's face it, all of us women go through it whether we want to or not.
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Exactly.
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So why not make it more pleasurable, more acceptable?
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Because it is a taboo subject.
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People don't want to know about it.
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And so yeah, I think that's really fantastic what you're doing.
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Thank you.
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You talk about women losing their spark in perimenopause.
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What does that actually mean in real life?
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So it that's that's a broad question.
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It could be many things.
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Like there really is the hormonal factor, estrogen is dropping, um, testosterone is actually dropping too.
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I think you know, a lot of times we think of just men and testosterone, but us women have testosterone too, and it could impact um not only like our sex drive, um, but our motivation.
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If your testosterone is well, your motivation, just your um that that spark, like you're saying, it could really impact that.
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Same with our estrogen.
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Estrogen is, I say, our juicy hormone.
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So there could be that dryness happening, there could, which could lead to some pain.
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Um, there's all these other factors that could come with the drop in drop in estrogen.
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So there's that fact of it, but I also as you go through transition of the hormones changing, our bodies are changing, estrogen makes us um higher estrogen levels, make us less um insulin resistant.
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So, you know, our bodies, we can't eat what we were eating in our 20s anymore.
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And our body's gonna react differently to that.
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Even estrogen helps buffer our inflammation.
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So you start might feeling a little achy in the joints.
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So those types of, and with that, when you're not feeling good, you're just kind of feeling, you know, you're a little blah, and there goes your spark.
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So as you go, and some women, I hear this so often, you're like, I look in the mirror and I just don't recognize myself.
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You know, maybe you got a little bit of that muffin top.
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Maybe it's just really how you are feeling in that time.
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So that's where like coming back to coming back to your spark.
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And what is it that you that you're really wanting for yourself?
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And I think there's a bit of a blessing.
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Um, estrogen is the nurturing hormone, right?
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So think of in your 20s and 30s when most women are in our childbearing years, because I feel like nowadays a lot of women are having children in their 40s, but as the estrogen is dropping, there goes our people pleaser a little bit.
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Maybe we're not being cranky and we're just finally being like, no, I'm saying no instead of yes when I've been wanting to say no for so long.
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I'm not gonna overexplain myself.
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I get to say yes to myself.
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And um, I see that more in myself already.
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I hear that from a lot of ladies as well.
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Yes, I can understand that.
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And like you said, that doesn't have to be a reason.
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You just want to focus on yourself and you want to say no more.
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I totally get that.
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I get that with clients actually quite a lot now.
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Yeah.
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And you're not being selfish.
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I don't think you're being selfish when you say no.
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Absolutely.
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And like they say, you know, you've got to look after yourself first before anybody else.
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Exactly, because you can't pour from an empty cup, and I know it sounds so cliche, but it's just it's the truth.
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It's so true.
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I mean my uh um go-to phrase would be, you've gotta put your oxygen mask on for yourself first in the airplane.
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Then you can help others.
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It's it's very true.
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So why do so many women feel disconnected with their energy, identity, and confidence during this stage of life?
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I think it comes back to kind of what I was saying.
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There's like this change, and sometimes it could happen so drastically.
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Like I was working with a woman, and within three months, she's like, I went from looking like this, and now all of a sudden I'm inflamed, I have no energy, my hair's falling out.
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And so there's that physical side, and then when you see, and I I feel like society does put a lot of pressure on women and their images.
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Like, look at the social media nowadays, you know, whether it's the Ozempic or whether this celebrity got a Botox or fillers or not, or I think of Pamela Anderson who's just like aging naturally, and it's like such a big deal.
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So when we get like these, you could be the most confident woman, but when you have like this, these little things chirping in your ear, it could impact your confidence.
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So there's like that side of it, like the image side, but with it is just our energy too.
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So, for example, even our progesterone is the first hormone that drops.
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We you don't hear about it so much.
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I feel like we hear so much about estrogen, but progesterone is, I say, our natural like anti-anxiety um medication.
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It keeps us calm, um, it helps with our sleep.
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So if you're not sleeping well, you're not gonna feel great the next morning.
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And maybe you're even feeling a little puffy too, because you didn't sleep well, or you're having the cravings then the next day, and then you're not eating well.
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So there's like so many factors and it plays into a little bit of a cycle.
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And then that's when you're just like feeling, okay, that this isn't this isn't me.
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And how how do I get to get to change?
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And I think, and I I hear it too, there's a little bit of like just the psychological side too, of like, oh, I was this or I was able to do this, and now I'm noticing a change.
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And you know, just like many things, it's just seeing what that change is and how could we adapt to where we are now.
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Like one big focus I always have with my clients is let's look at the wins.
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What are you still able to do?
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And let's go move in that direction.
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Because we could sit there and look at what we can't do or what's changed that you don't like and focus on the negatives, but that's not going to get us moving forward and feeling more confident and bringing that spark back in.
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And our health.
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Yes.
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And I think that the health part is such an overall, it's a big question.
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And that goes nicely into our next question.
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What is one area related to women's health that is not getting enough attention when it comes to supporting women with improving their hormones and overall health?
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So you know what I think um, yes, I always I always say this is the foundation.
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Let's look at the food, let's look at your exercise.
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I feel like nervous system regulation and stress doesn't get looked at enough.
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Um I mean, I'm even thinking my own doctor, like how often maybe they say, like, what's your stress level?
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But they don't really dive into it.
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Uh, I could speak from my own personal experience dealing with stress and um cortisol, like with stress comes cortisol levels and adrenal fatigue, and all that could fac plays into how your progesterone, estrogen, testosterone is as well.
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And even I think of the woman that is on HRT and maybe not getting the results that they want, um, because nothing is the magic pill.
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You get to look at like what are your stress levels?
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Uh, and stress could look come up in many forms, uh, and then bringing in different practices, uh, different tools to help you feel more calm and just bringing that nervous system from here down.
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And some women even go into like a free state, like it's just they're just maxed right out.
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So for some of them, it's like bringing that energy back up.
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It doesn't look the same for everybody.
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Yes.
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Absolutely one doesn't fit all.
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And there's circumstances under everyone's different anyway.
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Yeah.
00:13:55.490 --> 00:14:03.490
So what are the hidden factors that can make perimenopause feel worse than it needs to be?
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That's a big one.
00:14:04.610 --> 00:14:10.370
A lot of people want to know that okay, how can I make this feel better for myself?
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And they're doing everything and it's not working.
00:14:13.490 --> 00:14:24.450
Yeah, so kind of one thing I already said, because I think it kind of doesn't get looked at, is you know, the stress and like really looking at how your body is feeling nervous um system-wise.
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Like, are you always feeling up here?
00:14:26.610 --> 00:14:33.330
Um, kind of a little jumpy, that sensation tightness in your chest, or how's your sleep, all that?
00:14:33.330 --> 00:14:39.009
And I'm sure so many women are so tired of hearing this, but like, what are you eating?
00:14:39.009 --> 00:14:41.330
Are you getting enough protein?
00:14:41.330 --> 00:14:48.690
Uh, I've heard women saying, I feel like I'm getting pushed protein more than I got pushed drugs when I was in like adolescence, you know?
00:14:48.690 --> 00:14:52.129
But it makes such a big impact.
00:14:52.129 --> 00:14:53.730
Like, are you getting enough protein?
00:14:53.730 --> 00:14:55.169
Are you getting enough fiber?
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Because it does impact um just how our body's functioning.
00:15:00.769 --> 00:15:04.450
And sleep is another thing too that we really get to look at.
00:15:04.450 --> 00:15:06.690
Uh, I have not gotten much sleep this week.
00:15:06.690 --> 00:15:11.570
I was at that mastermind in Vegas, as I we had mentioned, then came in on a red eye.
00:15:11.570 --> 00:15:13.330
So um, and I'm feeling it today.
00:15:13.330 --> 00:15:14.529
I've been feeling it all week.
00:15:14.529 --> 00:15:19.970
And I'm like, I just get to decompress, you know, um, for the next rest of actually today.
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Uh, so these are those are like some of the things that you really get to look at.
00:15:25.250 --> 00:15:33.730
And another thing too is endocrine disruptors, plastics, perfumes, what we're putting on our body.
00:15:33.730 --> 00:15:36.050
I even think I this is my personal opinion.
00:15:36.050 --> 00:15:38.850
I had this conversation actually with my gynecologist.
00:15:38.850 --> 00:15:42.289
So I think it is a factor with breast cancer and different cancers.
00:15:42.289 --> 00:15:48.610
Like we we get to look at these things, but it's not the everyday conversation that that's really coming up.
00:15:49.009 --> 00:15:53.889
Because I think a lot of people are in a way, they feel just cope.
00:15:53.889 --> 00:16:00.129
So why does it feel so many women are told to just cope rather than being properly supported?
00:16:00.450 --> 00:16:02.769
Because they get gaslit at the doctor's office.
00:16:02.769 --> 00:16:12.930
But it's like, you know, they the doctors kind of make it feel most, not all doctors, most, um, it's all in your head.
00:16:12.930 --> 00:16:14.129
It's part of aging.
00:16:14.129 --> 00:16:16.450
This is normal, this is very menopause.
00:16:16.450 --> 00:16:28.850
Instead of asking the deeper questions, or you know, a woman comes in and asks for certain blood panels, and especially here in the US, because insurance might not cover it, the doctor won't run it.
00:16:28.850 --> 00:16:31.009
So then there's like these question marks.
00:16:31.009 --> 00:16:34.450
Well, what's really going on, what's really going on, right?
00:16:34.450 --> 00:16:44.050
So when you're told everything's just normal and you don't know how to ask the right questions and advocate for yourself, you just kind of like, okay, then maybe this is normal.
00:16:44.050 --> 00:16:45.570
Maybe this is all in my head.
00:16:45.570 --> 00:16:53.490
And this is why I love having these conversations to say, no, there's other options, there's other questions you could be asking for.
00:16:53.490 --> 00:16:58.930
And it's more than just because even women in their 40s are being put on birth control to manage their symptoms.
00:16:58.930 --> 00:17:01.009
Um, there's more, there's more to that.
00:17:01.009 --> 00:17:02.610
And I'm not against HRT.
00:17:02.610 --> 00:17:06.849
I think it could be ri very helpful for women.
00:17:06.849 --> 00:17:14.529
And we also get to look at the foundations of improving our health with that, whether you're on HRT or not.
00:17:14.849 --> 00:17:22.129
And I think they get, like you said, you mentioned this many times now, chronic stress, and that does impact the hormones.
00:17:22.129 --> 00:17:25.569
Of course it does, your overall well-being if you're stressed out.
00:17:25.569 --> 00:17:29.009
So there's a lot to be trying to calm down.
00:17:29.009 --> 00:17:37.409
So why is the nervous system such a key piece for the hormone puzzle that is often overlooked?
00:17:37.889 --> 00:17:45.009
Well, because stress impacts the brain, and that's really where our sex hormones start with pr production, right?
00:17:45.009 --> 00:17:56.769
So if they're actually not being produced, um it's gonna impact how uh you know our levels of estrogen uh could be our or progesterone as well, actually.
00:17:56.769 --> 00:18:01.490
So not only just naturally are these hormones declining, but then you have stress.
00:18:01.490 --> 00:18:13.490
And then the other thing is yes, our ovaries are a main storage for uh our estrogen, but so are our adrenal glands could be a little storage as well.
00:18:13.490 --> 00:18:19.009
Now, if those are tanked, then you're we're not getting really anything, right?
00:18:19.009 --> 00:18:24.609
So it is uh, you know, and our cortisol levels create inflammation in the body.
00:18:24.609 --> 00:18:32.849
Uh so there, if we're having that stress, then some hormones aren't being produced, cortisol's going up, there's inflammation.
00:18:32.849 --> 00:18:35.889
There's just so many different factors to go with that.
00:18:35.889 --> 00:18:41.250
And, you know, we've said it a couple times in this in the episode already.
00:18:41.250 --> 00:18:45.969
Like, that's why it's just so important to look at our stress levels.
00:18:45.969 --> 00:18:53.809
I I say like that's one area where I focus a lot with my clients because that's what they're going, like that's a that's a big factor.
00:18:53.809 --> 00:19:03.729
And I think of, I'm gonna say this just because I think people forget women in their 40s and 50s, there's a lot going on in your life in that time.
00:19:03.729 --> 00:19:06.209
You have your hormones going all crazy.
00:19:06.209 --> 00:19:08.449
So you have your own health you're worrying about.
00:19:08.449 --> 00:19:21.809
Um, you know, not all women, I'm single myself, but you know, you you're in a partnership, uh, you have children, maybe they're leaving off to college, maybe you're a new mom in your early 40s, right?
00:19:21.809 --> 00:19:26.929
And then we have aging parents, and I think that doesn't get talked about enough.
00:19:26.929 --> 00:19:30.609
So then you're trying to help, you know, your aging parents.
00:19:30.609 --> 00:19:36.849
And then maybe you're trying to build your business or you're climbing up the ladder in the corporate world.
00:19:36.849 --> 00:19:38.689
So there's so many factors going on.
00:19:38.689 --> 00:19:41.250
And like just talking about that, I'm like, that's a lot going on.
00:19:41.250 --> 00:19:42.609
That's stress alone, right?
00:19:42.609 --> 00:19:52.929
So it's like, how do we manage all this while taking care of our health and this change that we're going, you know, maybe you've heard this like perimenopause is kind of the opposite of puberty.
00:19:52.929 --> 00:19:54.449
It's like the other side of it.
00:19:54.449 --> 00:20:02.529
You know, when we're in our teens, our hormones are all over the place, and now we're on the other side growing women, and our hormones are still all over the place.
00:20:02.529 --> 00:20:04.529
Or again, all over the place.
00:20:05.089 --> 00:20:05.569
I know.
00:20:05.569 --> 00:20:20.929
It's like a mind fill and it's understanding it really for yourself, because we're all individuals, and I think a big role is trying to understand your own body as well, and don't be like fogged off by what people are saying.
00:20:20.929 --> 00:20:30.849
You've got to have some kind of level of what's going into your body as well, because I'm a great believer in nutrition and uh lifestyle health, you know.
00:20:30.849 --> 00:20:34.369
So that goes nice into my next question.
00:20:34.369 --> 00:20:40.369
What role does lifestyle nutrition and emotional health play in hormone balance?
00:20:41.009 --> 00:20:42.129
I think it's huge.
00:20:42.129 --> 00:20:44.209
It it really is huge.
00:20:44.209 --> 00:20:53.809
Um, I myself I can't prescribe any HRT, so everything I do is um, you know, functional medicine, function, and functional wellness.
00:20:53.809 --> 00:20:55.969
And it's a huge factor.
00:20:55.969 --> 00:21:11.169
And I could say it from what I've seen, I what I've seen from my clients, and I've lived this through like I'm gonna say three healing journeys myself with no pharmaceutical anything, and just coming back to what foods do we am I eating?
00:21:11.169 --> 00:21:13.089
What kind of exercise am I doing?
00:21:13.089 --> 00:21:14.529
What kind of breath work?
00:21:14.529 --> 00:21:20.689
How um am I tapping into my toolbox for nervous system regulation exercises?
00:21:20.689 --> 00:21:21.409
I'm blessed.
00:21:21.409 --> 00:21:24.209
I'm about a 10-minute drive to the beach.
00:21:24.209 --> 00:21:27.569
For me, that's my that's like my saving grace.
00:21:27.569 --> 00:21:36.049
So something on that top on this topic, I'll just give, um, I'll share with the audience that I give to my clients is I call it the calm container.
00:21:36.049 --> 00:21:43.250
What are three to five things that just you're like, this feels so good?
00:21:43.250 --> 00:21:47.089
It could be a person, it could be a place or an activity.
00:21:47.089 --> 00:21:57.329
And just when you feel like you need that moment just to like pause, reset, decompress, maybe it's even for an hour, what could you pull from that container?
00:21:57.329 --> 00:22:03.329
And having five, three to five options, just because if it is a person, you're not gonna want to call them all the time.
00:22:03.329 --> 00:22:06.849
So just having some different, different options with that.
00:22:06.849 --> 00:22:09.089
But yeah, I I think I think it's huge.
00:22:09.089 --> 00:22:11.889
And it goes back, I we've kind of said this a couple of times.
00:22:11.889 --> 00:22:17.889
There's like no magic pill, there's no magic powder injection, anything.
00:22:17.889 --> 00:22:28.929
Yes, all this stuff could help support our health, but if the foundation is broken, there's not gonna like these extra things aren't gonna perform to their full potential.
00:22:29.250 --> 00:22:33.969
I love that because it is about having the foundation right, and then you build on top of that.
00:22:33.969 --> 00:22:35.169
Exactly.
00:22:35.409 --> 00:22:36.049
Exactly.
00:22:36.049 --> 00:22:42.049
And I th the other thing too, you you mentioned something here um about feeling disconnected.
00:22:42.049 --> 00:22:47.329
I feel it is so powerful when you come become connected to your body.
00:22:47.329 --> 00:22:56.129
And I know there's like, you know, your hormones are all the place and you see this change and you feel disc disconnected, but when you could just come back, I call it your womb tuition.
00:22:56.129 --> 00:23:03.569
You just put your hand on on your womb just below the belly button and just take a couple breaths, and you can even just be like, what do I need right now?
00:23:03.569 --> 00:23:12.369
That's so powerful, just coming back to your Yourself because you'll feel a sensation, or maybe you'll see a vision with your eyes closed or get a little download.
00:23:12.369 --> 00:23:15.250
And it's just coming back to yourself.
00:23:15.250 --> 00:23:23.329
And if you do this every day, you start seeing patterns through your cycle or when you get triggered by some type of stress.
00:23:23.329 --> 00:23:29.409
And then you could come pull something from your calm container or just know what you should be eating.
00:23:29.409 --> 00:23:33.329
I laugh because I love educating around cycles, thinking that could be a whole other conversation.
00:23:33.329 --> 00:23:36.129
But I laugh at myself because I know where I am in my cycle.
00:23:36.129 --> 00:23:39.969
I'm like in the grocery store and I'm like, I can't leave without salmon and kiwi.
00:23:39.969 --> 00:23:41.409
And I know I'm ovulating.
00:23:41.409 --> 00:23:48.369
It's like I'm about to walk out the store and then all of a sudden I'm like, no, I need to go back and get these foods because I know it's like supportive for my body right now.
00:23:48.369 --> 00:23:50.209
Um, and that's just an example.
00:23:50.209 --> 00:23:53.009
Like when you really connect to yourself.
00:23:53.009 --> 00:23:57.649
And yes, we all have those moments when we're just like, I don't know where I am right now.
00:23:57.649 --> 00:24:01.329
But just taking that moment to come back could be so powerful.
00:24:02.049 --> 00:24:05.889
And I think in this fast-paced life as well, we need to slow down.
00:24:05.889 --> 00:24:08.129
I'm forever saying that to my clients.
00:24:08.129 --> 00:24:11.409
It's about actually hearing what the body needs.
00:24:11.409 --> 00:24:12.129
Listen.
00:24:12.369 --> 00:24:12.689
Yeah.
00:24:12.689 --> 00:24:16.129
And it's always talking to you, even our symptoms.
00:24:16.129 --> 00:24:19.889
You know, uh, you uh we said you were talking about it earlier.
00:24:19.889 --> 00:24:23.569
Like uh, how are women just pushing through perimenopause?
00:24:23.569 --> 00:24:26.289
Like they feel these symptoms and they're told they're normal.
00:24:26.289 --> 00:24:32.929
They aren't normal, they're messengers, they may be common, but what are these symptoms really telling you?
00:24:32.929 --> 00:24:37.809
And maybe you have to seek out other people than just your doctor.
00:24:37.809 --> 00:24:42.049
Maybe you go see a different doctor to help you navigate what you're feeling.
00:24:42.689 --> 00:24:49.089
How does midlife and hormones change impact a woman's sex life and desire?
00:24:49.089 --> 00:24:53.969
Because that's a question I got a lot of people wanting to know about.
00:24:54.369 --> 00:24:56.769
Yeah, I mean, there is so much happening.
00:24:56.769 --> 00:25:03.729
Um it could go there, well, estrogen, as I said earlier, I'm like, it's our juicy hormone.
00:25:03.729 --> 00:25:10.449
Uh, you know, it keeps our joints lubricated, but it also keeps the the vagina lubricated, right?
00:25:10.449 --> 00:25:20.289
So vaginal dryness is a thing, and I know it's something that a lot of women maybe feel ashamed about talking to their doctors or their friends or anybody, right?
00:25:20.289 --> 00:25:22.689
Because like, oh, this isn't happening to me type thing.
00:25:22.689 --> 00:25:31.969
So there's there's the internal, the internal, you know, dryness, but the external, the vulva as well, you could have dryness there because estrogen helps with that lubrication.
00:25:31.969 --> 00:25:33.169
Well, what else?
00:25:33.169 --> 00:25:35.409
It could also then create pain with sex.
00:25:35.409 --> 00:25:40.689
So if you're dry and pain and it's painful, well, sex is meant to be pleasurable.
00:25:40.689 --> 00:25:44.689
So you're not gonna want to have sex if it's not feeling pleasurable.
00:25:44.689 --> 00:25:46.529
So there's there's that component.
00:25:46.529 --> 00:25:53.169
Then if your testosterone's dropping and you don't even have a sex drive, then that's like another layer, right?
00:25:53.169 --> 00:25:57.009
You know, I said at the beginning, us women, we need testosterone as well.
00:25:57.009 --> 00:26:02.129
And then if you gained a little weight and you're just not feeling your own self, right?
00:26:02.129 --> 00:26:04.929
Then you might not you're not feeling confident.
00:26:04.929 --> 00:26:16.289
Uh, and even if you're in a marriage, like I've talked to women that have been married for 25 years and their husbands absolutely adore them and love them and want to be intimate with them, but they're just not feeling themselves.
00:26:16.289 --> 00:26:23.089
I actually had a client like two weeks ago I was talking to, and her iron levels were really low, her ferritin.
00:26:23.089 --> 00:26:26.049
And she's like, I could barely crawl out of bed.
00:26:26.049 --> 00:26:32.049
And she's like, you know, I know my partner wants to be intimate with me, but she's like, I could barely get out of bed.
00:26:32.049 --> 00:26:36.289
And she's like, it hurt my heart so much that I couldn't be intimate with him.
00:26:36.289 --> 00:26:45.889
And I could see he's trying to be, he understood and he was trying to be patient, but just seeing, you know, that's a big part of a relationship, right?
00:26:45.889 --> 00:26:48.689
The sexual, the sexual part, the intimacy.
00:26:48.689 --> 00:26:50.849
And it was like this dynamic.
00:26:50.849 --> 00:26:56.449
The beautiful thing is they were able to communicate about it, but how many couples are not communicating about it?
00:26:56.449 --> 00:26:59.490
And then it becomes like a bit of this cycle.
00:26:59.490 --> 00:27:03.490
So there's like there are there are a number of factors.
00:27:03.490 --> 00:27:06.049
And I know as uncomfortable it could be.
00:27:06.049 --> 00:27:16.369
I encourage women, and maybe women just give this section to your partners as well so they could hear us talking, like having this conversation where you could actually just express how you're feeling.
00:27:16.369 --> 00:27:21.889
Maybe it's the dryness, maybe it's just like, I don't know what's going on, but I don't have a sex drive right now.
00:27:21.889 --> 00:27:28.609
Um, so that you understand what's going on, but also your partner understands what's going on.
00:27:28.609 --> 00:27:35.569
And they're again just seeking out and problem solving um how you could change where you are.
00:27:35.569 --> 00:27:43.889
Uh, because I feel like women uh deserve to have pleasure and be sexually active all the way up into their 90s.
00:27:43.889 --> 00:27:46.609
I am an occupational therapist as well.
00:27:46.609 --> 00:27:51.809
And I do hear some 80-some-year-old ladies that, you know, they're still very active.
00:27:51.809 --> 00:27:58.289
And I love hearing that because there's like this thing like, oh, once women are past their childbearing years, they don't need to have sex.
00:27:58.289 --> 00:28:00.689
No, we get to have sex and enjoy it.
00:28:01.889 --> 00:28:03.969
That's so true, honestly.
00:28:03.969 --> 00:28:16.689
And yes, I can see how it is impacting relationships and it's that emotional connection, and like we've just you've just spoken about, it's having that open, honest conversation.
00:28:17.089 --> 00:28:22.529
Yeah, because I think sometimes the men are thinking like, oh, well, she doesn't want me anymore.
00:28:22.529 --> 00:28:25.569
Or just no one wants to be told no.
00:28:25.569 --> 00:28:42.289
But if there's an understanding of like what's going on or what you're actually feeling, and maybe you don't even know what's going on, but just expressing like this is what's going on, uh, there's gonna be less of that discomfort and tension, potentially, right?
00:28:42.289 --> 00:28:46.769
And I'm saying potentially because every relationship's different.
00:28:46.769 --> 00:28:58.769
And I could say this, I've even had men that I personally know reach out to me and they're like, Kim, I'm reaching out as a concerned husband, and this is what's going on.
00:28:58.769 --> 00:29:01.169
Do you think you could help my wife?
00:29:01.169 --> 00:29:07.409
One case I know I think because she didn't know me, um, she didn't end up reaching out to me.
00:29:07.409 --> 00:29:13.649
But in other case, two other cases, the women reached out to me, and I was able to support them.
00:29:13.649 --> 00:29:17.089
You know, the husband pinpointed, like, I think something's going on.
00:29:17.089 --> 00:29:19.009
Kim could help you.
00:29:19.009 --> 00:29:23.729
And yeah, it it ended up working out in the best for both of them.
00:29:23.969 --> 00:29:24.449
Yes.
00:29:24.449 --> 00:29:31.329
And that's so good because it's not about, you know, I think some women feel, oh, what's wrong?
00:29:31.329 --> 00:29:33.729
You know, my husband's trying to give me advice here.
00:29:33.729 --> 00:29:36.209
He doesn't understand, but he's trying to help you.
00:29:36.209 --> 00:29:37.969
Sometimes you've got to be open to it.
00:29:38.209 --> 00:29:38.529
Yeah.
00:29:38.529 --> 00:29:45.809
I when when men come to me like that, I I celebrate them because I know there's a handful of others that are just like, who knows what they're doing.
00:29:45.809 --> 00:29:47.969
Uh yeah.
00:29:47.969 --> 00:29:50.529
And I say it like that.
00:29:50.529 --> 00:29:51.969
It's another man.
00:29:51.969 --> 00:30:03.329
I was at a seminar the other week, and a man came up to me and he goes, I needed you like three years ago because my wife went through something, and he said he said to his wife, he goes, I have needs too.
00:30:03.329 --> 00:30:09.009
He didn't end up like cheating on his wife, but he was kind of like, You need to figure this out because I have needs too.
00:30:09.009 --> 00:30:11.250
And I'm sure there's a handful of men feeling that way.
00:30:11.250 --> 00:30:13.009
That's why I'm like, I don't know what some of them are doing.
00:30:13.009 --> 00:30:22.769
But it goes back to having a conversation, and I know sometimes these conversations are uncomfortable, but having that conversation could go a long way.
00:30:23.169 --> 00:30:30.289
Yes, and for the women, I know sometimes inter intimacy starts feeling like an effort, you know.
00:30:30.289 --> 00:30:36.049
So there's a lot going on underneath the surface, but it's trying to unpack that.
00:30:36.049 --> 00:30:36.849
Yeah.
00:30:37.169 --> 00:30:37.409
Yeah.
00:30:37.409 --> 00:30:39.649
And and I'm gonna say this too.
00:30:39.649 --> 00:30:44.049
During this time of our life, us women might need a little more.
00:30:44.049 --> 00:30:48.529
Maybe we just need a little bit of extra support or just to be held more.
00:30:48.529 --> 00:30:56.449
It could look like so many things, and maybe not getting that extra support is not making you feel as connected to your partner.
00:30:56.449 --> 00:31:09.409
So I know sometimes and myself included, it's hard to ask and receive, but maybe it's a little bit of that challenge of just asking and being like, hey hon, I'm feeling this way.
00:31:09.409 --> 00:31:11.969
Like, can I just be held a little bit tonight?
00:31:11.969 --> 00:31:14.529
Or do you think you could go do this for me?
00:31:14.529 --> 00:31:15.809
That would mean a lot.
00:31:15.809 --> 00:31:24.049
And as the partner shows up more, I'm sure that's gonna change too with the the sexual connection and the intimacy.
00:31:24.609 --> 00:31:30.049
What are some of the biggest misconceptions about female desire as women age?
00:31:30.049 --> 00:31:32.849
Because there's a lot of stories that go around.
00:31:33.969 --> 00:31:40.129
What I've kind of said already, you know, a little bit of like, oh, once women are past their childbearing years, who cares?
00:31:40.129 --> 00:31:41.649
They don't really need to have sex.
00:31:41.649 --> 00:31:47.409
Like they don't they don't and I think I I don't agree with that as all at all.
00:31:47.409 --> 00:31:52.929
Like I want one of my friends asked me, she's like, if you worked with a thousand women, what do you want them?
00:31:52.929 --> 00:31:53.889
Like, what would you want?
00:31:53.889 --> 00:31:59.169
I said, I want all my perimenopause and beyond women to be orgasmic for the rest of their life.
00:31:59.169 --> 00:32:04.769
Like, we don't have to like, you know, live this story that we don't deserve pleasure.
00:32:04.769 --> 00:32:07.569
Uh, I think there's that, there's definitely that side of it.
00:32:07.569 --> 00:32:14.529
But tied into that is that pain with sex is normal and kind of just accepted.
00:32:14.529 --> 00:32:26.609
Uh, there are different ways to work around that, whether it maybe is some estrogen cream, like internal estrogen cream, maybe it's some pelvic floor work.
00:32:26.609 --> 00:32:29.490
Um, I'm trained in Dow and Tantric Healing Arts.
00:32:29.490 --> 00:32:31.089
So maybe it's some of those practices.
00:32:31.089 --> 00:32:33.969
I'm a vaginal steam therapist, believe it or not.
00:32:33.969 --> 00:32:41.250
Yoni seeming, vaginal seam is when you sit over a pot of herbs and different herbs have different healing properties.
00:32:41.250 --> 00:32:48.129
That could help a lot with dryness, chronic UTIs, and it could help with your sex life as well.
00:32:48.129 --> 00:32:51.490
So there's definitely different ways to work around that.
00:32:51.490 --> 00:33:03.889
Even tied into that, I know women as they get a little bit older, drop up estrogen levels, do become more prone to UTIs, um, which could also impact then your sex life.
00:33:03.889 --> 00:33:09.649
So just knowing these things are potentially common, um, but they're not normal.
00:33:09.649 --> 00:33:20.689
And yeah, I think kind of what else I've also said is it's just that change of aren't feeling the spark to, you know, want to be intimate anymore.
00:33:20.689 --> 00:33:23.169
Like that's just that's kind of a misconception too.
00:33:23.169 --> 00:33:28.609
But I know a lot of women that are still wanting it, you know, have that spark and there's no shame.
00:33:28.929 --> 00:33:30.209
Yeah, absolutely.
00:33:30.209 --> 00:33:31.009
Yes.
00:33:31.009 --> 00:33:36.289
How can women begin to reconnect with their pleasure, confidence, and their bodies again then?
00:33:36.289 --> 00:33:42.769
What's kind of somebody was listening now and they wanted to know that, how can they start to make a shift?
00:33:43.490 --> 00:33:53.250
Um, something I kind of mentioned already, I think, is just coming back to yourself and just seeing what do I need?
00:33:53.250 --> 00:33:58.049
Uh I could even just kind of talk through a little breath work practice.
00:33:58.049 --> 00:34:04.209
Uh very simple, just putting your hand, like I said, on your womb space, just below the belly button, closing your eyes.
00:34:04.209 --> 00:34:05.809
It's called cosmic breath.
00:34:05.809 --> 00:34:15.409
So you're taking a breath in, breathing in through the front side of the body as you inhale and as you exhale, feeling the energy loop down the back side of your body.
00:34:15.409 --> 00:34:18.210
So it's just inhale through the front, exhale through the back.
00:34:18.210 --> 00:34:25.889
And just as you do this breath work, uh the cosmic breath is just really tapping into your body and being like, what do I need?
00:34:25.889 --> 00:34:29.490
What does my body need in any type of way?
00:34:29.490 --> 00:34:32.130
What am I calling into my life?
00:34:32.130 --> 00:34:36.929
And you you just start to really connect in what you're needing.
00:34:36.929 --> 00:34:43.730
And then the other thing I will say is just taking some time just to mirror gaze.
00:34:43.730 --> 00:34:46.130
And I know for some women this could be very uncomfortable.
00:34:46.130 --> 00:34:57.010
You could do it with your clothes on, you could do it with your clothes off if you're feeling it, and just loving your body, even if there's some changes, what is something you could focus on that you're loving?
00:34:57.010 --> 00:35:11.090
Maybe it's your breasts, maybe it's your smile, your eyes, your hips, and just finding that and just really reconnecting to yourself because you have to feel connected to yourself first before you fully could connect to somebody else.
00:35:11.090 --> 00:35:23.570
And then the and with that, and I say this to some of my clients, uh, kind of talking more on the sexual intimate side, is you have to know what you want and what creates pleasure for you so that you could ask for it.
00:35:23.890 --> 00:35:29.730
There are a lot more women that are still it's a taboo, you know, they mustn't say things.
00:35:29.730 --> 00:35:33.410
So it's about having that openness again.
00:35:33.890 --> 00:35:34.530
Yeah.
00:35:35.329 --> 00:35:40.210
I mean, this day and age, if women can't be themselves and be open, what's it all about?
00:35:41.329 --> 00:35:51.890
Really, it it so much so, and that's what I think uh I love about us women as we move into our forties and fifties and beyond.
00:35:51.890 --> 00:35:55.329
Um I think we become more connected to ourselves.
00:35:55.329 --> 00:36:00.289
And I said this earlier, we don't feel like we need to be that people pleaser.
00:36:00.289 --> 00:36:02.690
And nobody's perfect.
00:36:02.690 --> 00:36:05.490
I even still get to work on it sometimes.
00:36:05.490 --> 00:36:14.530
But I'll say generally, I feel like us women we're more like, no, this isn't a this isn't a yes for me, or I want this.
00:36:14.530 --> 00:36:16.769
So there's that shift.
00:36:17.090 --> 00:36:24.450
What are the long-term risks of ignoring strength and metabolism health in midlife?
00:36:24.450 --> 00:36:29.170
Because like, you know, we're talking about the midlife, we need to have a strong body as well.
00:36:29.170 --> 00:36:30.130
Mm-hmm.
00:36:31.329 --> 00:36:39.570
There's more and more research coming out that um shows that our muscle is like a big marker of longevity.
00:36:39.570 --> 00:36:44.930
So there's so many positive factors for us to have muscle.
00:36:44.930 --> 00:36:50.370
It helps with our metabolism, it helps with our overall strength, it helps with our balance.
00:36:50.370 --> 00:37:03.329
Um, so for us women, I'm gonna say 40 and beyond, doing those long, long cardio sessions, maybe like you did in your 20s, aren't as beneficial for us anymore.
00:37:03.329 --> 00:37:12.050
We get to strength train, especially our lower body working on our legs, um, maybe doing a little bit of plyometric work.
00:37:12.050 --> 00:37:18.930
Maybe not your first day in the gym, but building up to it, like some little box jumps, uh, if you have have good balance.
00:37:18.930 --> 00:37:22.610
Because we also want to put the stress on our bones.
00:37:22.610 --> 00:37:28.849
Uh, one in three people uh will fracture, have a fracture.
00:37:28.849 --> 00:37:31.490
I want to say, I think it's after 70 if I recall.
00:37:31.490 --> 00:37:33.410
And most a lot of them are women.
00:37:33.410 --> 00:37:37.090
And I could say this as an occupational therapist.
00:37:37.090 --> 00:37:49.010
Um, the number of people that have especially a hip fracture in 75 and beyond, they don't fully recover after.
00:37:49.010 --> 00:37:59.970
There's always some, whether they're on a walk or they're in a wheelchair, and they say 20 to 30 percent of people over the age of 75 that have a hip fracture will die within that first year.
00:37:59.970 --> 00:38:11.730
And a lot of times it's not directly because of the hip fracture, it's because other complications start happening, because they can't get out of bed and they get, you know, some type of bed sore that gets infected or pneumonia.
00:38:11.730 --> 00:38:20.849
And I don't say this to like scare women, but it's like a reality that we get to start taking care of our body sooner than later.
00:38:20.849 --> 00:38:34.769
So think of that heavy lifting for you and really focusing on um doing if anything, well, I want you to work on your upper body, but really focusing on your lower body as well.
00:38:34.769 --> 00:38:44.610
Well, and walk walking's good, but you need a little bit more, you need more of impact for the bones to keep them, to keep them strong.
00:38:45.010 --> 00:38:48.849
Yeah, so it's that muscle mass strength, yeah, density.
00:38:48.849 --> 00:38:50.690
Yeah, absolutely.
00:38:50.690 --> 00:38:57.170
So, what does strong at 40, strong at 90 actually look like in practice?
00:38:57.490 --> 00:38:58.210
40 to 90.
00:38:58.210 --> 00:38:59.650
Well, I'm sure there'll be a little bit of difference.
00:38:59.650 --> 00:39:02.610
At 40, you'll probably be lifting a little more.
00:39:02.610 --> 00:39:10.130
I think uh when I think of strong at 40, that is you just layering, trying to get your strength as best as you can.
00:39:10.130 --> 00:39:12.690
Like keep, you know, keep lifting, getting a little heavier.
00:39:12.690 --> 00:39:17.970
Obviously, we are 40, we're not gonna heal as quick as we did in when we were 16.
00:39:17.970 --> 00:39:23.250
So being mindful, don't go throw your back out or have you know have some injury like that.
00:39:23.250 --> 00:39:34.610
Uh, I feel like most 40-year-old women, we still have our we have good balance, we're fairly mobile, you know, being able to bend over and pick up off the floor, like that.
00:39:34.610 --> 00:39:50.210
And I think, but then strong at 90, when I think of strong at 90 is not being on a walker or a cane, being able to stand on your own two feet, being able to bend over and pick up the paperclip off the floor, get up the stairs.
00:39:50.210 --> 00:39:53.250
Uh, you know, 90 is gonna look a little different.
00:39:53.250 --> 00:39:55.329
You're probably gonna have looser skin.
00:39:55.329 --> 00:39:56.610
That's fine.
00:39:56.610 --> 00:39:59.730
But are you able to maintain your independence?
00:39:59.730 --> 00:40:04.690
And God forbid you have a you know a little slip and fall, you don't break your bones.
00:40:04.930 --> 00:40:05.490
Yes.
00:40:05.490 --> 00:40:07.570
And that's fantastic, you know.
00:40:07.570 --> 00:40:18.610
We all want to live and into that because what I always say is if I live a long life, I want to be active, I don't want to live a long life and not be able to do anything.
00:40:18.610 --> 00:40:19.410
So yeah.
00:40:19.410 --> 00:40:19.809
Yeah.
00:40:20.050 --> 00:40:20.930
And it's possible.
00:40:20.930 --> 00:40:24.370
I think of this one woman, she's 102.
00:40:24.370 --> 00:40:30.930
She is on a walker, but it's only because her daughter drove over her foot in the car.
00:40:30.930 --> 00:40:34.130
Yeah, unf um, unfortunate accident.
00:40:34.130 --> 00:40:36.210
But she's active all the time.
00:40:36.210 --> 00:40:39.970
And there's another man that I see at the beach, 91 years old.
00:40:39.970 --> 00:40:43.650
He runs three days a week, four days a week.
00:40:43.650 --> 00:40:45.650
He does a three to four mile run.
00:40:45.650 --> 00:40:49.650
So kilometers-wise, that's about six, seven kilometers.
00:40:49.650 --> 00:40:52.370
Three to four times a week at 91 years old.
00:40:52.690 --> 00:40:53.250
Wow.
00:40:53.490 --> 00:40:55.570
Yeah, every time I see him, I'm like clapping.
00:40:55.570 --> 00:40:57.890
I'm like, you're such an inspiration.
00:40:59.329 --> 00:41:07.090
So, what does it mean for women to feel fully alive, turned on to life and connected again?
00:41:07.090 --> 00:41:09.570
Because a lot of women out there want that.
00:41:09.890 --> 00:41:13.570
Well, one, coming back to that foundation, your health is good.
00:41:13.570 --> 00:41:17.490
And maybe it's not perfect, but you're feeling you're feeling good.
00:41:17.490 --> 00:41:19.090
Your food's energizing you.
00:41:19.090 --> 00:41:23.329
You're not, you know, eating processed foods all the time and it's draining you.
00:41:23.329 --> 00:41:29.329
But really, at the end, it is come just feeling fully connected to what you want.
00:41:29.329 --> 00:41:38.289
Feeling connected to your body, moving in the direction, whether it's in your relationship with your children, in business, in life.
00:41:38.289 --> 00:41:49.410
And you just wake up with a glow, wanting to know what's gonna happen next, and just feeling that energy like going through you every every day.
00:41:49.890 --> 00:41:51.570
And vitality, I think.
00:41:52.130 --> 00:41:53.490
Vitality is a good word.
00:41:53.490 --> 00:41:54.050
Yeah.
00:41:54.050 --> 00:42:03.890
The big thing is not, and I hear this so often, is just not feeling disconnected and feeling very connected to yourself and what is true to you.
00:42:04.289 --> 00:42:11.730
Yeah, and it's building that confidence for yourself, not what everybody else says or what everybody thinks they should be doing.
00:42:11.730 --> 00:42:13.809
It's about you, individual.
00:42:13.809 --> 00:42:14.769
Exactly.
00:42:14.769 --> 00:42:19.730
So, what daily practice supports your own health and energy the most?
00:42:20.210 --> 00:42:21.970
I need to be outside every day.
00:42:21.970 --> 00:42:24.690
Um, and like I live in Florida, so I'm blessed.
00:42:24.690 --> 00:42:27.090
I have warm weather all the time.
00:42:27.090 --> 00:42:31.329
So getting sunshine, especially in the morning, really energize me.
00:42:31.329 --> 00:42:34.610
It's good for our circadian rhythm to help with our sleep.
00:42:34.610 --> 00:42:36.370
Uh, I do eat healthy.
00:42:36.370 --> 00:42:40.210
Now, get don't get me wrong, I had a glass of wine last night.
00:42:40.210 --> 00:42:42.210
Um, so I still have a wine.
00:42:42.210 --> 00:42:48.370
I may eat a little dessert once in a while, but I, you know, I start my mornings with some protein.
00:42:48.370 --> 00:42:53.570
I shouldn't say some protein, like about 30 grams of protein, and staying active.
00:42:53.570 --> 00:42:58.370
Uh I'm in the gym about four to five times a week.
00:42:58.370 --> 00:43:00.769
And then I do one day of Pilates.
00:43:00.769 --> 00:43:04.849
And once we're done this, I'm actually going to go to the beach for my beach walk.
00:43:04.849 --> 00:43:07.570
So I do two beach walks, usually on the weekend.
00:43:07.570 --> 00:43:11.650
Uh, so those are some big regular things that I do.
00:43:11.650 --> 00:43:18.210
And then along with just I have my little altar, I do some breath work, maybe a meditation, journaling, whatever.
00:43:18.210 --> 00:43:20.530
I I'm not consistent with what I do.
00:43:20.530 --> 00:43:23.329
It's whatever I feel I need that day.
00:43:23.329 --> 00:43:28.849
But uh at some point in the day, sometimes it's in the morning, sometimes it's in the evening.
00:43:28.849 --> 00:43:35.010
I sit at my altar and I just do um some internal work.
00:43:35.010 --> 00:43:36.289
We'll call it that.
00:43:36.289 --> 00:43:40.450
And on a weekly basis, I do make an effort.
00:43:40.450 --> 00:43:42.769
There again, some weeks are busier than others.
00:43:42.769 --> 00:43:46.930
I do make an effort to have connection with friends and girlfriends.
00:43:46.930 --> 00:43:49.490
Um, because that is really important as well.
00:43:49.970 --> 00:43:50.849
Absolutely.
00:43:50.849 --> 00:43:53.010
It's that human connection.
00:43:53.010 --> 00:43:53.650
Yeah.
00:43:53.650 --> 00:44:00.289
So what is one thing you wish every woman knew about her body in midlife?
00:44:00.610 --> 00:44:08.130
I feel that, and we've said this a couple times, when a woman's really connected to her body, she could do whatever she wants.
00:44:08.130 --> 00:44:18.690
Um, one one thing way I kind of say it is like when a woman's fully connected to her body and cycle, if you're still cycling, you could be a badass in all areas of your life.
00:44:18.690 --> 00:44:26.530
Because just like we're cyclical monthly, if you're still cyclic, we're cyclical in life hormonally as well.
00:44:26.530 --> 00:44:30.849
And with that is life's changing.
00:44:30.849 --> 00:44:38.130
So when you're connected to your body, you know maybe where you get to give more energy to and where you get to pull away.
00:44:38.130 --> 00:44:43.410
And without that connection, you're kind of just like all over the place, feeling burnt out.
00:44:43.410 --> 00:44:45.250
And when you're connected, you'll say no.
00:44:45.250 --> 00:44:47.010
And it's not suiting you.
00:44:47.410 --> 00:44:51.809
And we, you know, who doesn't want that title in midlife?
00:44:51.809 --> 00:44:53.250
Right?
00:44:53.250 --> 00:44:55.250
Come on, it's owning who you are.
00:44:55.250 --> 00:44:56.690
Let's do it, women.
00:44:57.730 --> 00:44:58.690
It it is.
00:44:58.690 --> 00:45:05.730
Um, you know, we get to just really step into who we are, step into what we want.
00:45:05.730 --> 00:45:10.769
Uh I d uh, you know, this conversation's come up a couple times.
00:45:10.769 --> 00:45:17.010
I don't know how you feel about it, Anita, but I I feel better than I was in my 20s.
00:45:17.010 --> 00:45:22.289
I even had comparison photos and I look I was like an athlete in my 20s, but I look better now.
00:45:22.289 --> 00:45:27.809
I still had that little bit of inflammation because I was partying and drinking and not sleeping and still being an athlete.
00:45:27.809 --> 00:45:31.090
Um, but now I'm just like pulled all that away.
00:45:31.090 --> 00:45:37.890
And I share that because, you know, people are like, oh, once you're in your 40s, man or woman, you're going downhill.
00:45:37.890 --> 00:45:39.890
No, we're just getting started.
00:45:40.210 --> 00:45:41.010
Absolutely.
00:45:41.010 --> 00:45:43.970
I mean, I'm gonna hit 60 soon.
00:45:43.970 --> 00:45:47.650
And people say, God, every time I see you, you look younger.
00:45:47.650 --> 00:45:50.050
I said, I gave up drinking 10 years ago.
00:45:50.050 --> 00:45:55.570
I eat healthy, I'll eat a lot of protein, I'll walk, you know, I look after myself.
00:45:55.570 --> 00:45:58.769
And yeah, so you have a big difference.
00:45:58.769 --> 00:45:59.570
Of course.
00:45:59.570 --> 00:46:03.809
And like you said, I feel healthier than I've ever felt.
00:46:04.130 --> 00:46:05.329
That's amazing.
00:46:05.329 --> 00:46:06.289
I love that.
00:46:06.289 --> 00:46:09.090
I wanna like I want to feel like that when I'm 59.
00:46:09.570 --> 00:46:10.769
Absolutely.
00:46:10.769 --> 00:46:17.570
So if there was one key takeaway you want every listener to walk away with today, what would that be?
00:46:17.890 --> 00:46:20.530
I feel so I know I've said this already.
00:46:20.530 --> 00:46:24.769
Being connected to yourself is so, so important.
00:46:24.769 --> 00:46:42.450
And with that, the other takeaway is if something feels off, you know, especially as we're you're moving through perimenopause, post-menopause, menopause, um, really listen to that and advocate for yourself.
00:46:42.450 --> 00:46:48.769
If one doctor, health practitioner says it's nothing, trust that it's something.
00:46:48.769 --> 00:46:50.130
Go get a second opinion.
00:46:50.130 --> 00:46:59.730
Because there's somebody else out there that will dig a little bit deeper and help you with that symptom or symptoms because you don't have to live suffering.
00:47:00.050 --> 00:47:03.010
And it's absolutely you're worth it.
00:47:03.010 --> 00:47:04.610
Do it for yourself.
00:47:04.849 --> 00:47:05.250
Yeah.
00:47:05.250 --> 00:47:09.090
All it takes sometimes is one little one little shift.
00:47:09.090 --> 00:47:15.250
It can be the smallest thing, and you're gonna feel so much different, and you deserve that.
00:47:15.490 --> 00:47:19.090
So, where can the listeners find you online, your website?
00:47:19.490 --> 00:47:28.050
Yeah, so I'm most active on Instagram, and it's just my name, K-I-M-B-I-L-Y-K underscore.
00:47:28.050 --> 00:47:33.490
And then my website uh is Sacred Womb Cycles.
00:47:33.490 --> 00:47:40.289
I do have a product line, which is uh four herbal teas created to support each phase of our menstrual cycle.
00:47:40.289 --> 00:47:42.050
And I also did create the Womb Wisdom journal.
00:47:42.050 --> 00:47:47.809
So I've been talking a lot about connection and the breath work, all that actually is in the journal, and then you really get to connect to yourself.
00:47:47.809 --> 00:47:55.809
So that's where the branding of Sacred Womb Cycle comes in, and that that's the website, www.sacretwombcycles.com.
00:47:55.809 --> 00:47:57.490
Those are the two main places.
00:47:57.490 --> 00:47:59.890
I am on Facebook, just my name Kim Bilyk.
00:47:59.890 --> 00:48:02.769
Um, not as active there, but you can still find me there.
00:48:03.010 --> 00:48:05.010
And all the links will be in the show notes.
00:48:05.010 --> 00:48:09.410
So, listeners, please do get the help you need and connect with Kim.
00:48:09.410 --> 00:48:11.890
You know, this wise woman.
00:48:11.890 --> 00:48:17.170
I mean, don't we all want to know more about our life and enjoy it to the fullest?
00:48:17.650 --> 00:48:18.050
Yes.
00:48:18.050 --> 00:48:20.690
Don't feel free to reach out, drop me a DM.
00:48:20.690 --> 00:48:26.130
Um, even if you just got a win from this conversation, I love to hear from everybody.
00:48:26.130 --> 00:48:28.370
And thank you, Anita, so much for having me.
00:48:28.690 --> 00:48:29.890
Oh, it's my pleasure.
00:48:29.890 --> 00:48:39.570
So thank you so much for sharing your insights, your wisdom, and helping us all, women and men are you know, they get the benefits too.
00:48:39.570 --> 00:48:41.410
By doing what you do.
00:48:41.410 --> 00:48:44.769
You've impacted so many people and truly made a difference.
00:48:44.769 --> 00:48:47.730
I really want to acknowledge you for that, Kim Billy.
00:48:48.210 --> 00:48:48.690
Thank you.
00:48:48.930 --> 00:48:51.890
So we are all about Create the Courage to Be Fearless podcast here.
00:48:51.890 --> 00:48:53.890
What is your definition of courage?
00:48:54.210 --> 00:48:56.450
Who definition of courage.
00:48:56.450 --> 00:49:01.730
I you know, courage is to me, is just taking that leap.
00:49:01.730 --> 00:49:07.329
Even in those moments when you're kind of hesitant and being like, I don't know if I should do this.
00:49:07.329 --> 00:49:11.090
Listening to your heart and and going for it.