WEBVTT
1
00:00:04.080 --> 00:00:08.720
Welcome to the Borderline Personality Disorder podcast. I'm Ava. This
2
00:00:08.800 --> 00:00:12.679
bonus episode is all about making sense of borderline personality
3
00:00:12.720 --> 00:00:15.839
disorder when it shows up as raw emotional storms that
4
00:00:15.960 --> 00:00:19.640
hit without warning. If your day can flip from steady
5
00:00:19.679 --> 00:00:23.320
to overwhelming because one comment lands like a threat to
6
00:00:23.399 --> 00:00:27.359
everything you hold close, that experience sits at the center
7
00:00:27.480 --> 00:00:30.879
of what will break down here. The thing is many
8
00:00:30.960 --> 00:00:35.240
listeners describe the same cycle. Fear of abandonment shows up
9
00:00:35.320 --> 00:00:39.399
first and splitting follows close behind. The mind raises to
10
00:00:39.439 --> 00:00:44.399
protect itself from another loss, but that protection often creates
11
00:00:44.439 --> 00:00:48.679
the interpersonal storms it tries to avoid. So today we
12
00:00:48.759 --> 00:00:51.960
focus on one core pattern instead of trying to cover
13
00:00:52.119 --> 00:00:55.880
every angle at once. In other words, we'll look at
14
00:00:55.920 --> 00:01:00.280
how emotional intensity builds from a single trigger, and we'll
15
00:01:00.320 --> 00:01:03.600
explore what small shifts can interrupt the rush before it
16
00:01:03.640 --> 00:01:06.959
takes over. For example, you might notice the first sign
17
00:01:07.200 --> 00:01:10.959
as a tight chest or racing thoughts, then pause long
18
00:01:11.079 --> 00:01:13.959
enough to name the fear out loud, even if only
19
00:01:14.000 --> 00:01:17.799
to yourself. That single naming step creates space because it
20
00:01:17.879 --> 00:01:21.439
moves the feeling from automatic reaction into something you can
21
00:01:21.480 --> 00:01:26.000
examine now. The reality is recovery stays gradual. Some days
22
00:01:26.040 --> 00:01:29.719
the old patterns still win. Yet the practical step that
23
00:01:29.799 --> 00:01:33.400
matters most this week is tracking one trigger each day.
24
00:01:33.680 --> 00:01:37.400
Write down what happened right before the intensity rose. That
25
00:01:37.439 --> 00:01:40.439
record shows patterns you can work with rather than fighting
26
00:01:40.519 --> 00:01:43.760
every wave as if it came from nowhere. On top
27
00:01:43.799 --> 00:01:46.760
of that, we'll connect those daily notes to a simple
28
00:01:46.879 --> 00:01:49.760
DBT in form check in. You can run it in
29
00:01:49.920 --> 00:01:53.480
under a minute when the next wave starts. The goal
30
00:01:53.560 --> 00:01:58.000
stays simple. We make the disorder less confusing by looking
31
00:01:58.079 --> 00:02:01.200
at its mechanics one piece at a time. Time so
32
00:02:01.239 --> 00:02:04.200
the next storm feels a little less like total chaos
33
00:02:04.239 --> 00:02:07.719
and more like something you've seen before. The cycle often
34
00:02:07.840 --> 00:02:11.280
starts with that sharp fear of being left. Then the
35
00:02:11.360 --> 00:02:14.360
mind jumps straight into splitting because it wants to make
36
00:02:14.439 --> 00:02:18.319
sense of the threat fast. Since the intensity builds from
37
00:02:18.319 --> 00:02:22.000
that single spark, many listeners find it helps to focus
38
00:02:22.039 --> 00:02:25.439
on one small interruption right at the start. The rush
39
00:02:25.479 --> 00:02:29.240
feels automatic at first, but the shift begins with noticing
40
00:02:29.319 --> 00:02:32.919
the exact moment your chest tightens or your thoughts speed up.
41
00:02:33.360 --> 00:02:36.280
You don't have to stop the feeling. You can name
42
00:02:36.319 --> 00:02:39.520
it out loud in plain words, such as this is
43
00:02:39.560 --> 00:02:43.360
the fear again. That simple label creates a tiny space
44
00:02:43.479 --> 00:02:46.800
because it moves the experience from inside the storm to
45
00:02:46.879 --> 00:02:49.240
something you can watch. Here's the thing about the next
46
00:02:49.280 --> 00:02:53.199
part of the strategy. You choose one physical action that
47
00:02:53.280 --> 00:02:57.240
matches the moment. Instead of staying frozen or reaching for
48
00:02:57.319 --> 00:03:00.080
the phone, you might stand up and walk down to
49
00:03:00.159 --> 00:03:05.039
another room for thirty seconds. That sounds basic, but it
50
00:03:05.120 --> 00:03:08.520
works because the body change breaks the loop that keeps
51
00:03:08.560 --> 00:03:12.039
the fear feeding the split. If walking isn't possible, you
52
00:03:12.080 --> 00:03:14.680
can press your feet hard into the floor while counting
53
00:03:14.759 --> 00:03:18.719
five slow breaths. The count matters because it gives the
54
00:03:18.759 --> 00:03:22.120
mind something steady to follow while the emotion settles. Since
55
00:03:22.159 --> 00:03:28.159
recovery stays gradual, you practice this interruption on smaller triggers first.
56
00:03:28.960 --> 00:03:32.240
For example, when a text doesn't arrive on time, you
57
00:03:32.360 --> 00:03:35.840
notice the fear, name it, and then shift your position
58
00:03:36.000 --> 00:03:40.120
before the thoughts turn into all or nothing judgments. Because
59
00:03:40.159 --> 00:03:43.800
those early tries build the habit, the same steps become
60
00:03:43.840 --> 00:03:47.759
available when bigger fears show up. The reality is some
61
00:03:47.879 --> 00:03:52.400
days the old pattern still wins. That's expected. Yet each
62
00:03:52.439 --> 00:03:55.199
time you add even a few seconds of delay, you
63
00:03:55.319 --> 00:03:59.919
reduce how far the splitting travels, so the strategy centers
64
00:04:00.120 --> 00:04:04.080
on catching the build up early and inserting one deliberate action.
65
00:04:04.759 --> 00:04:07.439
It's not about trying to fix the whole emotion at once.
66
00:04:08.319 --> 00:04:11.800
Although the action itself stays small, its effect grows Because
67
00:04:11.840 --> 00:04:14.599
it happens before the intensity peaks. You end up with
68
00:04:14.680 --> 00:04:17.560
more choice about what you say or do next. While
69
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the fear of abandonment doesn't disappear, the split loses some
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of its speed and force. On top of that, many
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people find it useful to keep one go to action
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ready for different situations. The trigger can arrive at work
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or at home, so the action needs to fit both places.
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A quiet breath count works in a meeting, while a
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short walk fits during a break. The key remains the
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same across settings. You notice name and move before the
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rush takes over. Although the steps repeat, the order stays important.
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First comes the body signal, then the label, then the action.
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That order matches how the cycle actually so it interrupts
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the pattern at its weakest point. Listeners who try this
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00:05:05.639 --> 00:05:08.519
for a week often report the splitting still appears, but
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it doesn't last as long or feel as final. The
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strategy gives a practical way to stay present with the
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fear without letting it decide every next step. Ultimately, the
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goal isn't to remove the intensity, it's to keep enough
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space so you can decide what matters to you in
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that moment. Since the process stays gradual, each small interruption
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adds up over time, but the days when it doesn't
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work still count as practice. They show where the next
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interruption can start. We'll be right back after this. So
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why does inserting one physical action right when fear first
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appears disrupt the usual rush. It has to do with
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how the mind moves from threat detection to quick judgment.
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Fear of abandonment activates an old protective response that pushes
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the brain towards splitting so it can decide fast whether
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someone is safe or dangerous. By choosing a simple movement
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00:06:09.279 --> 00:06:12.720
that fits the moment, like standing up or pressing your
98
00:06:12.759 --> 00:06:15.800
feet into the floor, you shift attention to the body.
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You stop letting the judgment form right away. This matters
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because the split often happens in seconds. Once it locks in,
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the emotional intensity climbs from there. The action creates a
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small pause that gives the rest of the system time
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to catch up. Since recovery stays gradual. This pause doesn't
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erase the fear, but it keeps the intensity from building
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on top of itself the way it usually does. Listeners
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who try to step on smaller triggers first notice the
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difference more clearly. Those moments carry less weight. A mire
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delay and a reply or a short change in tone
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can still spark the old cycle, Yet the stakes feel
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low enough to test the action without the full storm arriving.
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Over repeated tries, the body learns that the threat signal
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doesn't always need an immediate all or nothing conclusion. The
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same pattern shows up when the trigger is stronger, but
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the practice from smaller moments carries over. The mind still
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jumps towards splitting, yet the habit of moving first has
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already formed, so the jump slows down a little each time.
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Because a strategy centers on catching the build up early
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rather than waiting until everything feels overwhelming, the action stays
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practical even on harder days. Now, the gradual part remains important.
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Some days, the fear arrives so quickly that the action
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feels late. That's expected. The point isn't to stop every
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single wave, it's to reduce how often the wave turns
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into a full split before any choice enters this point.
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The physical step works because it interrupts the automatic link
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between fear and judgment. It doesn't try to argue with
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the judgment once it's already taken hold. Although the mind
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wants to make sense of the threat fast, the body
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doesn't operate on the same timeline. A deliberate movement forces
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a different pace. That difference heads up across many small attempts.
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The reality is that splitting protected you in earlier situations,
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where quick decisions kept you safe, yet in current relationships,
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the same speed often creates distance. Instead, the single action
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serves as a bridge between the old response and a
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newer option, and it doesn't require the fear itself to disappear.
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First listeners report that the intensity still rises after the movement,
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yet it rises more slowly, with more room to notice
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what's happening. That's lower rise matters because it prevents the
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split from becoming the only available story. The fear of
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00:08:55.159 --> 00:08:59.679
abandonment stays real, but the added moment of choice keeps
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00:08:59.679 --> 00:09:04.720
the story from hardening into black and white terms right away. Ultimately,
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00:09:04.799 --> 00:09:07.840
the approach stays simple because the cycle itself is fast
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00:09:07.840 --> 00:09:11.480
and automatic, adding complexity at the moment of trigger would
143
00:09:11.559 --> 00:09:15.120
likely miss the window. One clear physical step repeated on
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00:09:15.320 --> 00:09:19.440
smaller triggers first builds the skill it later applies when
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00:09:19.440 --> 00:09:23.480
the stakes feel higher. The science here restened how attention
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00:09:23.759 --> 00:09:28.679
and movement influence emotional momentum. It's not about any promise
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00:09:28.720 --> 00:09:33.000
of immediate calm. Over time, the pattern of catching the
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00:09:33.000 --> 00:09:37.600
build up early becomes more familiar, the old rush loses
149
00:09:37.679 --> 00:09:41.759
some of its automatic power. The real shift shows up
150
00:09:41.799 --> 00:09:44.679
when you test that single physical action on the smaller
151
00:09:44.720 --> 00:09:48.919
triggers first. Those moments carry less weight, so the practice
152
00:09:48.960 --> 00:09:54.039
sticks faster since recovery stays gradual. You build the habit
153
00:09:54.120 --> 00:09:57.519
there before the sharper fear of abandonment arrives. Once the
154
00:09:57.559 --> 00:10:00.960
pattern feels familiar, The same step in interrupts the rush
155
00:10:01.000 --> 00:10:05.960
towards splitting, even when the threat feels bigger. So the
156
00:10:06.000 --> 00:10:08.600
technique works because it meets the fear at the exact
157
00:10:08.639 --> 00:10:13.960
point where the split usually locks in. Although the old
158
00:10:14.039 --> 00:10:17.840
cycle returns on tough days, the interruption still buys you
159
00:10:17.879 --> 00:10:20.919
a few seconds of choice. You notice the difference more
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00:10:20.919 --> 00:10:24.480
clearly each time you use it. The fear doesn't vanish,
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00:10:24.960 --> 00:10:29.320
but the judgment loses its automatic grip. If this podcast
162
00:10:29.399 --> 00:10:32.080
helps you make sense of your shit, you get ad
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00:10:32.120 --> 00:10:37.080
free listening and early episodes. Independent media only stays alive
164
00:10:37.120 --> 00:10:39.720
when listeners back it. You can find the link to
165
00:10:39.799 --> 00:10:43.759
join in the episode description. That same gradual practice adds
166
00:10:43.840 --> 00:10:48.320
up over time. Each small wind strengthens the pause you need.
167
00:10:48.879 --> 00:10:51.799
The reality is, some days the fear still hits hard
168
00:10:52.000 --> 00:10:55.519
and the split still forms. Yet the action you practiced
169
00:10:55.519 --> 00:10:59.200
on lighter triggers remains available when the pressure rises. Since
170
00:10:59.240 --> 00:11:02.799
the mind moves from threat detection to judgment in seconds,
171
00:11:03.240 --> 00:11:06.159
the physical step you choose matters most at the beginning.
172
00:11:07.879 --> 00:11:10.720
Listeners who keep testing it on minor moments find the
173
00:11:10.759 --> 00:11:14.440
whole cycle loses some of its speed. The truth is,
174
00:11:14.559 --> 00:11:17.720
the pattern shows up again and again, but the interruption
175
00:11:17.919 --> 00:11:23.039
you build now travels with you into those stronger moments. Ultimately,
176
00:11:23.200 --> 00:11:26.440
the progress stays steady because the focus stays on one
177
00:11:26.519 --> 00:11:27.559
action at a time
1
00:00:04.080 --> 00:00:08.720
Welcome to the Borderline Personality Disorder podcast. I'm Ava. This
2
00:00:08.800 --> 00:00:12.679
bonus episode is all about making sense of borderline personality
3
00:00:12.720 --> 00:00:15.839
disorder when it shows up as raw emotional storms that
4
00:00:15.960 --> 00:00:19.640
hit without warning. If your day can flip from steady
5
00:00:19.679 --> 00:00:23.320
to overwhelming because one comment lands like a threat to
6
00:00:23.399 --> 00:00:27.359
everything you hold close, that experience sits at the center
7
00:00:27.480 --> 00:00:30.879
of what will break down here. The thing is many
8
00:00:30.960 --> 00:00:35.240
listeners describe the same cycle. Fear of abandonment shows up
9
00:00:35.320 --> 00:00:39.399
first and splitting follows close behind. The mind raises to
10
00:00:39.439 --> 00:00:44.399
protect itself from another loss, but that protection often creates
11
00:00:44.439 --> 00:00:48.679
the interpersonal storms it tries to avoid. So today we
12
00:00:48.759 --> 00:00:51.960
focus on one core pattern instead of trying to cover
13
00:00:52.119 --> 00:00:55.880
every angle at once. In other words, we'll look at
14
00:00:55.920 --> 00:01:00.280
how emotional intensity builds from a single trigger, and we'll
15
00:01:00.320 --> 00:01:03.600
explore what small shifts can interrupt the rush before it
16
00:01:03.640 --> 00:01:06.959
takes over. For example, you might notice the first sign
17
00:01:07.200 --> 00:01:10.959
as a tight chest or racing thoughts, then pause long
18
00:01:11.079 --> 00:01:13.959
enough to name the fear out loud, even if only
19
00:01:14.000 --> 00:01:17.799
to yourself. That single naming step creates space because it
20
00:01:17.879 --> 00:01:21.439
moves the feeling from automatic reaction into something you can
21
00:01:21.480 --> 00:01:26.000
examine now. The reality is recovery stays gradual. Some days
22
00:01:26.040 --> 00:01:29.719
the old patterns still win. Yet the practical step that
23
00:01:29.799 --> 00:01:33.400
matters most this week is tracking one trigger each day.
24
00:01:33.680 --> 00:01:37.400
Write down what happened right before the intensity rose. That
25
00:01:37.439 --> 00:01:40.439
record shows patterns you can work with rather than fighting
26
00:01:40.519 --> 00:01:43.760
every wave as if it came from nowhere. On top
27
00:01:43.799 --> 00:01:46.760
of that, we'll connect those daily notes to a simple
28
00:01:46.879 --> 00:01:49.760
DBT in form check in. You can run it in
29
00:01:49.920 --> 00:01:53.480
under a minute when the next wave starts. The goal
30
00:01:53.560 --> 00:01:58.000
stays simple. We make the disorder less confusing by looking
31
00:01:58.079 --> 00:02:01.200
at its mechanics one piece at a time. Time so
32
00:02:01.239 --> 00:02:04.200
the next storm feels a little less like total chaos
33
00:02:04.239 --> 00:02:07.719
and more like something you've seen before. The cycle often
34
00:02:07.840 --> 00:02:11.280
starts with that sharp fear of being left. Then the
35
00:02:11.360 --> 00:02:14.360
mind jumps straight into splitting because it wants to make
36
00:02:14.439 --> 00:02:18.319
sense of the threat fast. Since the intensity builds from
37
00:02:18.319 --> 00:02:22.000
that single spark, many listeners find it helps to focus
38
00:02:22.039 --> 00:02:25.439
on one small interruption right at the start. The rush
39
00:02:25.479 --> 00:02:29.240
feels automatic at first, but the shift begins with noticing
40
00:02:29.319 --> 00:02:32.919
the exact moment your chest tightens or your thoughts speed up.
41
00:02:33.360 --> 00:02:36.280
You don't have to stop the feeling. You can name
42
00:02:36.319 --> 00:02:39.520
it out loud in plain words, such as this is
43
00:02:39.560 --> 00:02:43.360
the fear again. That simple label creates a tiny space
44
00:02:43.479 --> 00:02:46.800
because it moves the experience from inside the storm to
45
00:02:46.879 --> 00:02:49.240
something you can watch. Here's the thing about the next
46
00:02:49.280 --> 00:02:53.199
part of the strategy. You choose one physical action that
47
00:02:53.280 --> 00:02:57.240
matches the moment. Instead of staying frozen or reaching for
48
00:02:57.319 --> 00:03:00.080
the phone, you might stand up and walk down to
49
00:03:00.159 --> 00:03:05.039
another room for thirty seconds. That sounds basic, but it
50
00:03:05.120 --> 00:03:08.520
works because the body change breaks the loop that keeps
51
00:03:08.560 --> 00:03:12.039
the fear feeding the split. If walking isn't possible, you
52
00:03:12.080 --> 00:03:14.680
can press your feet hard into the floor while counting
53
00:03:14.759 --> 00:03:18.719
five slow breaths. The count matters because it gives the
54
00:03:18.759 --> 00:03:22.120
mind something steady to follow while the emotion settles. Since
55
00:03:22.159 --> 00:03:28.159
recovery stays gradual, you practice this interruption on smaller triggers first.
56
00:03:28.960 --> 00:03:32.240
For example, when a text doesn't arrive on time, you
57
00:03:32.360 --> 00:03:35.840
notice the fear, name it, and then shift your position
58
00:03:36.000 --> 00:03:40.120
before the thoughts turn into all or nothing judgments. Because
59
00:03:40.159 --> 00:03:43.800
those early tries build the habit, the same steps become
60
00:03:43.840 --> 00:03:47.759
available when bigger fears show up. The reality is some
61
00:03:47.879 --> 00:03:52.400
days the old pattern still wins. That's expected. Yet each
62
00:03:52.439 --> 00:03:55.199
time you add even a few seconds of delay, you
63
00:03:55.319 --> 00:03:59.919
reduce how far the splitting travels, so the strategy centers
64
00:04:00.120 --> 00:04:04.080
on catching the build up early and inserting one deliberate action.
65
00:04:04.759 --> 00:04:07.439
It's not about trying to fix the whole emotion at once.
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00:04:08.319 --> 00:04:11.800
Although the action itself stays small, its effect grows Because
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it happens before the intensity peaks. You end up with
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more choice about what you say or do next. While
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the fear of abandonment doesn't disappear, the split loses some
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of its speed and force. On top of that, many
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people find it useful to keep one go to action
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ready for different situations. The trigger can arrive at work
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or at home, so the action needs to fit both places.
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A quiet breath count works in a meeting, while a
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short walk fits during a break. The key remains the
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same across settings. You notice name and move before the
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rush takes over. Although the steps repeat, the order stays important.
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First comes the body signal, then the label, then the action.
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That order matches how the cycle actually so it interrupts
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the pattern at its weakest point. Listeners who try this
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for a week often report the splitting still appears, but
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it doesn't last as long or feel as final. The
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strategy gives a practical way to stay present with the
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fear without letting it decide every next step. Ultimately, the
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goal isn't to remove the intensity, it's to keep enough
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space so you can decide what matters to you in
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that moment. Since the process stays gradual, each small interruption
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adds up over time, but the days when it doesn't
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work still count as practice. They show where the next
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interruption can start. We'll be right back after this. So
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why does inserting one physical action right when fear first
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appears disrupt the usual rush. It has to do with
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how the mind moves from threat detection to quick judgment.
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Fear of abandonment activates an old protective response that pushes
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the brain towards splitting so it can decide fast whether
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someone is safe or dangerous. By choosing a simple movement
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that fits the moment, like standing up or pressing your
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feet into the floor, you shift attention to the body.
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You stop letting the judgment form right away. This matters
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because the split often happens in seconds. Once it locks in,
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the emotional intensity climbs from there. The action creates a
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small pause that gives the rest of the system time
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to catch up. Since recovery stays gradual. This pause doesn't
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erase the fear, but it keeps the intensity from building
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on top of itself the way it usually does. Listeners
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who try to step on smaller triggers first notice the
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difference more clearly. Those moments carry less weight. A mire
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delay and a reply or a short change in tone
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can still spark the old cycle, Yet the stakes feel
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low enough to test the action without the full storm arriving.
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Over repeated tries, the body learns that the threat signal
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doesn't always need an immediate all or nothing conclusion. The
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same pattern shows up when the trigger is stronger, but
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the practice from smaller moments carries over. The mind still
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jumps towards splitting, yet the habit of moving first has
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already formed, so the jump slows down a little each time.
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Because a strategy centers on catching the build up early
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rather than waiting until everything feels overwhelming, the action stays
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practical even on harder days. Now, the gradual part remains important.
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Some days, the fear arrives so quickly that the action
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feels late. That's expected. The point isn't to stop every
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single wave, it's to reduce how often the wave turns
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into a full split before any choice enters this point.
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The physical step works because it interrupts the automatic link
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between fear and judgment. It doesn't try to argue with
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the judgment once it's already taken hold. Although the mind
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wants to make sense of the threat fast, the body
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doesn't operate on the same timeline. A deliberate movement forces
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a different pace. That difference heads up across many small attempts.
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The reality is that splitting protected you in earlier situations,
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where quick decisions kept you safe, yet in current relationships,
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the same speed often creates distance. Instead, the single action
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serves as a bridge between the old response and a
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newer option, and it doesn't require the fear itself to disappear.
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First listeners report that the intensity still rises after the movement,
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yet it rises more slowly, with more room to notice
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what's happening. That's lower rise matters because it prevents the
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split from becoming the only available story. The fear of
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abandonment stays real, but the added moment of choice keeps
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the story from hardening into black and white terms right away. Ultimately,
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the approach stays simple because the cycle itself is fast
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and automatic, adding complexity at the moment of trigger would
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likely miss the window. One clear physical step repeated on
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smaller triggers first builds the skill it later applies when
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the stakes feel higher. The science here restened how attention
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and movement influence emotional momentum. It's not about any promise
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of immediate calm. Over time, the pattern of catching the
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build up early becomes more familiar, the old rush loses
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some of its automatic power. The real shift shows up
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when you test that single physical action on the smaller
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triggers first. Those moments carry less weight, so the practice
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sticks faster since recovery stays gradual. You build the habit
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there before the sharper fear of abandonment arrives. Once the
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pattern feels familiar, The same step in interrupts the rush
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towards splitting, even when the threat feels bigger. So the
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technique works because it meets the fear at the exact
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point where the split usually locks in. Although the old
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cycle returns on tough days, the interruption still buys you
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a few seconds of choice. You notice the difference more
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clearly each time you use it. The fear doesn't vanish,
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but the judgment loses its automatic grip. If this podcast
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helps you make sense of your shit, you get ad
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free listening and early episodes. Independent media only stays alive
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when listeners back it. You can find the link to
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join in the episode description. That same gradual practice adds
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up over time. Each small wind strengthens the pause you need.
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The reality is, some days the fear still hits hard
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and the split still forms. Yet the action you practiced
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on lighter triggers remains available when the pressure rises. Since
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the mind moves from threat detection to judgment in seconds,
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the physical step you choose matters most at the beginning.
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Listeners who keep testing it on minor moments find the
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whole cycle loses some of its speed. The truth is,
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the pattern shows up again and again, but the interruption
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you build now travels with you into those stronger moments. Ultimately,
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the progress stays steady because the focus stays on one
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action at a time
