68. “Every Life Matters” – an extraordinary conversation with Benedicte Symcox

🎙 “You’re amazing!” But what if hearing that doesn’t feel amazing at all?

In this powerful and deeply moving episode, Gill Phillips meets awesome Benedicte Symcox – parent carer, founder of Tugboat SEND Navigation, and passionate advocate for children and adults with complex needs.

Benedicte’s story is breathtaking. From the moment they met at Yvonne Newbold’s wedding (!), Gill and Benedicte struck up an instant connection – and this podcast brings it to life. With wisdom, humour, brutal honesty, and astonishing lived experience, Benedicte takes us on a journey through parenting three very different children – each with their own profound challenges and triumphs.

🎧 Expect to hear:

• The rollercoaster of navigating health, education, and social care systems
• Teenage mental health, neurodiversity, and diagnostic overshadowing
• Raw conversations about suicide, resilience, and “extreme parenting”
• How Benedicte’s lived experience powers her work supporting other families through Tugboat
• Why kindness, curiosity and valuing every life are non-negotiables in a broken system

This episode goes live in #CoProductionWeek - the week that  #MPFTWhoseShoes, the extraordinary Whose Shoes journey to better support children and families, is showcased in Staffordshire.

With her signature wit and passion, Benedicte reminds us why real voices matter.

This is one for the ninja parents, the professionals trying to do better, and anyone who wants to understand what truly matters.

🍋💡🍋 Lemon lightbulbs

🍋 Every life matters – regardless of age, ability, or achievements. 

🍋 Stay curious, be kind 

🍋 No one’s coming to save you – a tough truth from Yvonne Newbold that hits hard but empowers families to take action

🍋 Value doesn't come from capability – our culture must stop measuring people’s worth by what they can do or produce

🍋 You can't fix what you don't truly see – honest, raw stories like Benedicte’s open eyes and hearts

🍋 Children with complex needs are not always ‘inspirational’—they’re human.
They get stroppy, funny, scared, brilliant... just like any child

🍋 Diagnostic overshadowing destroys lives – assuming one label explains everything leads to devastating gaps in support

🍋 We need to talk about suicide – actually talk about it – no euphemisms, no sidestepping. Say the word. Save lives.

🍋 Professionals are often also parent carers : dual perspective

🍋 Honesty matters more than heroics – saying “this is hard” is more powerful than pretending to cope

🍋 Sometimes kindness means saying uncomfortable things 

🍋 Honest conversations are vital – especially around 'taboo' topics : sex, disability, parenting, mental health

🍋 Parenting doesn’t come with guarantees – ‘success’ can mean just surviving another day

🍋 Systems should support families, not punish them – blaming parents, gatekeeping support, and making people fight for help is not acceptable.

🍋 Hope lives in connection – whether through a podcast, a wedding, or a kindness conversation, real change starts with human stories

Links

Tugboat SEND Navigation – Steering you through SEND waters

Please visit the episodes with Cath Crock, Bob Klaber and Steven Russell

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Connect with me - Gill Phillips - on LinkedIn, especially if you are interested in our brand new #CYPWhoseShoes resources or our well-established #MatExp (maternity experience) work.

I tweet (not so much these days!) as @WhoseShoes  and am on Instagram as @WhoseShoesUK and @WildCardWS.

Please recommend 'Wild Card - Whose Shoes' to others who enjoy hearing passionate people talk about their experiences of improving health care.