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Welcome to the Parenting Roundabout podcast. I'm Terry Morrow and
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I'm Catherine Jileco. As parents and parenting writers, we can't
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help but see everything through a parenting lens. But as
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our kids have become adults, we find ourselves more interested
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in getting caught up on movies and streaming than I'm
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going over the same parenting topics over and over.
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So since we're pretty sure we can find parenting wisdom anywhere,
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we're going to talk about what we're watching, what we
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thought about it, and maybe what we can learn from it,
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if only what not to do. Watch and listen along,
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and let's all make like we're doing something important for
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our families.
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Each Tuesday we bring you our thoughts on a newer
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entertainment property, and for this week of March twenty third,
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we're discussing Shrinking Season three, Episode eight, Depression Diet, and
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I for one, am quite disappointed that my Disneyland did
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not come to fruition. That was, unfortunately, which is of course,
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only the beginning of the disappointments of this episode, because
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come on, people, seriously, how is it possible that Gabby
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does not know how to behave at a funeral? I mean,
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it reminded That scene reminded me of the one in
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Parks and Recreation where Jean Ralpheo and Mona Lisa Sapristine
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are sneaking around a funeral and going something like, don't
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be suspicious, don't don't be suspicious. I think John Ralfio's funeral,
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but he was actually alive. It's like she's being a cartoon.
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What are you doing?
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Yeah, don't talk on the phone at a funeral, don't
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talk loud and gesticulate and dnswer Yeah, who are these people?
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Just stand with you?
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Yeah, there's no reason.
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Go stand with the people at the funeral and turn
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your phone off, or go sit in your car and
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talk on the phone. You're a grown woman, Yeah, you're.
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Like a professional professional. Yeah.
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And I want to like Sophie, I really do. I
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really want to root for them, But she's in a
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group of people that are a lot. She's too much.
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Just just is she ever gonna stop being that way?
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And now she has this week we meet her husband
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and her kid. Her husband played by somebody who played
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a bad ex husband on Mom as well, So I'm like, oh, really,
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why did he divorce Christian then marry this other lady
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and then divorce her and go marry you, Sophie. I'm
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Matt Jones. Nice to see a man. You're getting yourself
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a niche here. I just.
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I don't know, Yeah, what is wrong with people?
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What is wrong with people?
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It was a lot, Yeah.
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I mean awful that it started with a funeral but
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then immediately veered off and do you huh huh Yeah, no, no,
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don't do that.
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And I mean, not to be a prude, but do
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people really talk about sex in front of their eighteen
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year old neighbors in this manner like I'm uncomfortable and
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I'm just washing it. I mean, Alice rolls with it,
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but like she shouldn't have to, Like, no, don't do that.
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She shouldn't.
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That was Derek U referring to the toothpaste.
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Is that what we're talking about?
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Yeah, but there was I feel like there was another
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scene too, Like there was at the beginning when Alice
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was holding the baby and there was some talk about it,
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and then it came up again when they were at
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Alice and Jimmy's house, which again, why Derek is there,
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I don't know.
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Elice has historically been around when her dad was having
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call girls over in the wake of her mother's death.
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So she rolls with it. She's good, she's friends with Summer.
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Someone wasn't in this episode, was she?
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No?
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This is what this episode was missing. Summer needs to
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be the least appropriate person in all situations. If she's
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not there, the rest of them kind of fall apart.
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M hmm, Okay, now we know. Now we know what
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the problem was, Bill Lawrence. I thought that she had
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a contract to just be there for no apparent reason.
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Every episode Get That InCD come on.
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And we found out what the what the living situation
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of Bryan's was that they had.
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That was fun the description.
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Yeah, it was the fact that Ava was living with them.
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Which this is why you don't do adoption this way,
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you got. I just just I firmly recommend going to
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another country and then never having any content with anybody again.
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But yeah, it's gonna be complicated. It's not Liz is
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absolutely right that it's not appropriate, and Ava is absolutely
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right that Liz is bossy and over involved, and the
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fact that they could agree to that over.
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Some spreadsticks from ours.
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Yes, I approve that's fine. I don't think it's going
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to change really, Liz does anything at all, but Ava
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really needs to move on. I guess this is this
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is the MOVAYR.
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Yeah, okay, supposed to be.
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Yeah.
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There was also some thought online that the theme of
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this this episode was boundaries because nobody had any and yeah,
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work on that, you guys, as you say, don't don't
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be talking about sax in front of your eighteen year
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old neighbor slash daughter slash friend. Yeah, So is it?
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Do we think that Paul knows everything that went on
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between Gabby and Maya and is cool with it, or
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that he was just looking at Gabby's notes from their
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sessions and not aware that she was going to trivia
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night with her. He knows that she was going to
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the gym, right because he was in the group with
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the guys, right, Yes, that she had set up this
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sort of quasi friendship thing and then kind of shut
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her down.
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Yeah, yeah, that's a good thing.
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I wonder if that piece is because if he is
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and we're just hand waving it all away, that's kind
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of weird because that should be this, that should be
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the crux of this is not as her married couple
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patients were yelling and her about why do you not
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know every detail of her life right as they're saying
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things that, hey, we heard at the funeral this and that,
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and how come you didn't know that You've known her
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for how long and you didn't know it? And you know,
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Maya was very closed off. She wasn't sharing information. How
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exactly is Gabby supposed to have this? That seemed like
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a completely bogus attack, but you tried jimmying her, and
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this is what happened, is an attack that there is
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a line that they have to follow. I think, do
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they not? Are they not going to? Are they ducking
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underneath the table all that whizz is by, because yeah, you.
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Guys, especially the way that conversation with Paul and Gabby
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ended where he was like, well, you have to get
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back on the horse, and you know if you don't
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do it right away, it's going to be really hard,
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and she was like, no, I'm not going to. And
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I did think that was an appropriate response, like if
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she needs time off, she needs time off. She can't
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be a good therapist if she doesn't take that time.
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So I don't know why Paul, you know, he's presented
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as this, you know, absolute genius of therapy or at
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least he has all the experience. But like I didn't
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necessarily think that was the right call.
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I think it depends on what we're talking about. If
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you're a therapist, you're going to have bad outcomes sometimes
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even if you do everything right, and if you feel it,
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you know, as a disruption of your life every time
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it happens, you're not gonna be able to practice very well.
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You're gonna be constantly paranoid. So I think his feeling
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is it's a professional risk. It happens, you move on,
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you learn from it and move on or whatever. But
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if the point is that she screwed up, then yeah,
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she needs to take some time to think about it.
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But that doesn't seem to be where they're going. That's
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at least not where Paul is going. And I can't
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believe if he thought she was jimmying, he would be
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brushing it off. So more information, please, I do not
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understand what are you guys doing. I would very much
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like for you to just brush this under the table
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and say, oh, well, sometimes there are bad outcomes, let's
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move on with our lives and have it. Not we
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constructed this tragic event specifically to screw Gab yep, let's go.
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I don't like that. I don't want that, right, And
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you know, Derek too is sitting around with a ring
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in his pocket, and is this just gonna be so
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that she'll say no? I I guess she probably would
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have said no before, but even so, Yeah, yeah, you
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guys are gonna pull us off, right, You're gonna pull
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us all together in some way. That's good, right, Right,
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it's all gonna work out, not just inventing a woman
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and then throwing her away for the purposes of move on. Yeah,
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but I did think that the married couple was completely
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out of line and good ridds.
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So yeah, yep, just.
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Need you to see you people anymore.
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Excellent, go fight over hand, exactly, Go find someone else
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that will listen to you.
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Are you absolutely? Oh goodness, there was so much bad behavior.
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Well a couple of a couple of things I particularly
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liked was excellent face acting by Lukiita Maxwell when she's
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sending her dad off on the date, and you could
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tell she really hates the idea of him like moving
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on from her mom, but at the same time really
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loves him and wants him to be happy. It's just
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like the two emotions were playing on her face so well,
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and also when she says, you look like a princess,
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which is what he said to her when she came
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downstairs for the party in season one, and she did
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not care for that, so she gives it back to
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him and Liz's big weird son in Paul's word, is
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hooking everybody up with sneakers? Yes, so so Grandma on them,
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though is unclear. Grandma's advice is yes being taken into
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because we know every good entrepreneur starts by selling things
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to all their parents' friends.
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So that's right.
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You go, you girl scout, you can do it. How
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does someone leave their jacket, wallet, and keys at a party?
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Yeah?
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How do you drive?
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How do you get?
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How do you get in your house? Okay, you could
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have a key under the pot. I guess you could
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have a key under the bottom of your car.
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I used to I used to have a key.
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Hundred Do people still do that little magnet box that
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goes under your car with a key in it.
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I don't know.
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People people who forget things used to have those you'd have,
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But if you needed front of your door with the
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key in it, you'd have the lock box. Under your
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car with the key in it.
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But if you needed to access that item, then like
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when you realize, oh, I left my keys inside.
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Yes, exactly, Well, I would think I would think that
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she would be too just given the way they've constructed
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that character. She would be too mortified to go into
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cheaters and she's just Are there people who are that
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ditsie outside of sitcoms?
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Do they exist? But if they do?
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In her jacket, I could see leaving her. But just like,
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that's just a line that's written to be funny. That's
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not an actual thing a person would do.
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Right, It's I think that if people were that ditsy
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in real life, you know, other people's responses would not
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be as gentle.
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Oh she's goofy. We like you. She makes the rest
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of us feel really competent and good. Oh man, yeah, well,
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I suppose the parenting tips we could take from this
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are number one, to make firm boundaries everywhere, but maybe
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especially with the helpers in your life. Make sure that
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the babysitter knows and the anybody who works with your
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child knows. I am the parent, I am the boss.
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You work for me.
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Shut up.
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This is why I never had any any Yes, I
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did not want to manage another I did not want
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to manage an employee another adult.
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Yes, I very much agree, and I really we didn't
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really have anybody either. We hired somebody from our church
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to be at the house when the kids got home
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on the bus for a couple of days a week
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for a couple of hours. But we got home, they left,
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so I.
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Didn't have to.
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Yeah, it was pretty It was pretty low key. But
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it also extends to some degree to educators and and
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service people who work with your children. To know that
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I respect your opinion and I am interested in it
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and I want it. But I'm the mom and I
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get to decide.
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Right, I will decide what to do with that information
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once you have given it to me.
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You are not in charge of my family, and you
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know only a little.
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Piece of my life. Shut up.
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So that is harder to do than to manage the
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person who's in your house. But you have to you
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have to remember that, No, I am the CEO of
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this corporation, and these people are employees, and I can
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fire them, and I can give them performance reviews, but
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they will do their best to.
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Make you feel that that is not the case. But
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it is right.
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Give them an all, you know, shove a carb wand
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down their throat and get the hell out of there.
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Let's see.
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Also going back to that ava thing like Okay, you
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got a job a week ago. That is not actually
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enough time for her to then also get an apartment.
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It is not, but it is. But she was laving
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home and saying, hey, I got a job, isn't that great.
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I'm going to start looking for an apartment right away. Guys,
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It's going to take me a little bit of time,
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but I will do it. To not say anything and
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yet have your T shirt with your workplace in the laundry.
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This too is sitcom behavior. Yes, guys, you're getting lazy.
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Come on. I would also absolutely say, from a parenting
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point of view, teach your children how to behave at
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funerals and learn it yourself. I don't remember as a
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kid ever going to a funeral in California. As grown up,
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I don't think it was a thing. I don't think
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it was a part of the culture at least to
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bring kids there. I mean, obviously they had funerals, but
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in New Jersey, oh my goodness, I have been to
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more wakes, not so much going to the cemetery, but
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going to a funeral home and sitting in a room
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for a while, right, and we bring the kids, and
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it's a thing. And I've always been proud that my son,
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whatever disabilities and difficulties he may have, is really good
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at wakes. He knows to walk up to the person
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and say I'm sorry for your loss, and you know,
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he just sits quietly, and he's so good and people
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are so happy with him.
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You know.
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It's a strength. So if you are in a culture
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or a part of the country or whatever where that's
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a thing that people do. No, you may not sing
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along with your phone while you're sitting in there. No
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you may not talk on the phone at the funeral.
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No you may No you may not show them what
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Gabby did and say you may do none of these things.
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This is not a look how inappropriate this looks.
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Yeah, you may not lurk around the edges. Yeah.
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We will link to that parks in Recca clip as well,
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because it is very germane to Gabby's behavior, even though
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she would not think so. But why would Liz call
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her if she knew she was a I think.
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She called it. I think Gabby called.
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Her, Gabby Calton. I thought Liz called Gabby. Okay, oh no,
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she didn't. She did anybody she called. Liz called her
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to just check on her. I think I think Liz
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called to see how the funeral was going.
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Yeah, don't do that, which no, I.
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Mean, you could maybe give her a pass if she
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thought it was over and she was just checking to
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see how Gabby was.
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The very text and say call me after. But even
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that turn your phone off.
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Just yeah, it's just general.
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I mean, I maybe in California they don't have as
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much practice. I don't know, because I don't remember my
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parents going to funerals. I don't think we had a
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00:19:04.400 --> 00:19:08.839
particularly death freak ohort that we lived in. But I
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just I don't remember it as being a thing. So
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maybe it's uncool to die in California.
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You just let's you just.
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Nobody wants to talk about it.
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It's okay, it's fine.
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We also parenting tip wise, Letting kids play video games
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always a bad idea, Always going to be trouble, at
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least if you're on TV. But you know, if if
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you need to get going, just pull the plug.
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We're leaving now.
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You don't really have to let them play all the
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way to the end.
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No, but you know he made he promised kid like,
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don't care, you can play, which was very aggressive. Yeah,
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00:19:48.400 --> 00:19:53.400
it was very bad parent. He was don't count on
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the fact that the game is going to be overas.
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That think dad was doing it on purpose. But in general,
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be in control over that. If you let them play,
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have the knowledge be that when you're ready for them
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to stop, they're going to stop. And it does not
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rule your life. It rule your family, life or your plans.
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My parents used to say that to me as a kid.
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TV does not rule your life because you know, at
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that time shows were only on yes once a week, yes,
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at a certain time. So if you.
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Couldn't watch it, then you couldn't watch it at all.
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You might get a rerun, no.
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Not no way to tape it. Maybe it would repeat,
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but if it did, it would be in the summer,
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and so you would have to remember until then.
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Yeah.
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It was brutal, you guys.
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Yeah, it was. It was a hard life.
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Also, you had to sit. I don't know, maybe this
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was this was just me. Maybe this did they have
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remotes by the time you were a child, because when
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I was a kid, you had to sit in front
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of the TV and change the channel for yourself and
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your parents. Yeah, we did not physically turn a knob.
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And we only got like three channels.
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00:21:16.079 --> 00:21:19.160
I mean there were the dial went to thirteen I think,
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but a bunch of them were not. There was nothing there.
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And then there was a UHF setting which was like
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the wild Wild West. Who the bleak knew I was
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on that? And how you got it? But yes, kids,
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and then we would paint on the walls of the caves.
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It was so fun.
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But yes, that exact phrasing is something that my parents
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would say. Ye, TV does not rule your alone.
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I remember throwing a tantrum once because the Jerry Mahoney
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Show was starting and we were still at the restaurant,
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and everybody knew I had to be home in time
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for the Jerry Mahoney show. Why are we not home now?
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So that was not popular, But I was an only
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child and I got away with a lot. But yeah,
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you know, as long as there have been parents and children,
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there have been things that the children wanted to keep
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doing and things that the parents wanted them to stop.
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And as the parent, that is your role, and that
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is your right to stop it in whatever way is necessary.
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Do not be afraid to use that power. Do not
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let yourself stand in an awkward situation for a long
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time just because the kid needs to finish the thing
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the kid is doing. Bring it with, finish it at home,
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play another game. Well that the kid had no screens
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an I will survive not finishing the video game.
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It is a good lesson in getting over it.
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00:22:48.720 --> 00:22:54.759
M and I suppose we will eventually get over this episode.
387
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But I don't know. We're going down down row. I
388
00:23:00.279 --> 00:23:09.000
don't wish to go down, Yeah, but go down then
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00:23:09.000 --> 00:23:15.160
we shall. We generally love this show, this episode, but
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still still like people. Is there something that Jimmy could
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00:23:21.440 --> 00:23:23.599
prescribe for Sophie to make her stop being like that?
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00:23:26.039 --> 00:23:27.359
I don't think Jimmy has a.
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Mild sedative of some sort. Possibly, I don't.
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00:23:29.599 --> 00:23:31.559
Think Jimmy has that power.
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00:23:32.440 --> 00:23:34.000
That's right, he doesn't prescribe.
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Psychologists a psychiat darn.
397
00:23:37.200 --> 00:23:39.480
I just feel like she needs something more than just
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00:23:39.839 --> 00:23:47.039
a boyfriend. But you know, good luck to you all.
399
00:23:48.559 --> 00:23:53.000
Calm down please, So next Tuesday, we will continue with
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00:23:53.079 --> 00:23:56.359
season three, episode nine of Shrinking, which I regret to
401
00:23:56.440 --> 00:24:02.359
inform you is called Daddy Issues. Jeff Daniel is coming
402
00:24:02.359 --> 00:24:06.400
back I'm Guessing Wrong show, and we've back tomorrow to
403
00:24:06.480 --> 00:24:10.640
discuss Lost. Speaking of daddy issues, every episode of Loss
404
00:24:10.759 --> 00:24:16.000
is called daddy Issues. Thank you for listening. You can
405
00:24:16.039 --> 00:24:19.799
find all our episodes on Spreaker, Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music,
406
00:24:19.920 --> 00:24:23.480
or wherever you get your podcasts. You can find recaps, links,
407
00:24:23.480 --> 00:24:26.920
and an opportunity to comment on our website at parentingroundabout
408
00:24:26.960 --> 00:24:27.680
dot com.
409
00:24:27.720 --> 00:24:29.960
You can also talk to us on our Facebook page,
410
00:24:30.000 --> 00:24:32.559
on Instagram or on Twitter, where you'll find us at
411
00:24:32.640 --> 00:24:36.359
roundabout Chat. And please visit our Amazon shop at Amazon
412
00:24:36.400 --> 00:24:39.799
dot com, slash Shop slash mamitude, but you can find
413
00:24:39.839 --> 00:24:41.720
links to a lot of the things we've talked about
414
00:24:41.759 --> 00:24:47.640
over the years.
1
00:00:03.439 --> 00:00:06.879
Welcome to the Parenting Roundabout podcast. I'm Terry Morrow and
2
00:00:06.919 --> 00:00:10.800
I'm Catherine Jileco. As parents and parenting writers, we can't
3
00:00:10.839 --> 00:00:13.880
help but see everything through a parenting lens. But as
4
00:00:13.880 --> 00:00:17.079
our kids have become adults, we find ourselves more interested
5
00:00:17.079 --> 00:00:19.320
in getting caught up on movies and streaming than I'm
6
00:00:19.359 --> 00:00:22.800
going over the same parenting topics over and over.
7
00:00:23.280 --> 00:00:26.879
So since we're pretty sure we can find parenting wisdom anywhere,
8
00:00:27.239 --> 00:00:29.519
we're going to talk about what we're watching, what we
9
00:00:29.600 --> 00:00:32.200
thought about it, and maybe what we can learn from it,
10
00:00:32.439 --> 00:00:35.759
if only what not to do. Watch and listen along,
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00:00:35.799 --> 00:00:38.359
and let's all make like we're doing something important for
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00:00:38.479 --> 00:00:39.320
our families.
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00:00:40.119 --> 00:00:42.600
Each Tuesday we bring you our thoughts on a newer
14
00:00:42.840 --> 00:00:46.679
entertainment property, and for this week of March twenty third,
15
00:00:46.719 --> 00:00:53.759
we're discussing Shrinking Season three, Episode eight, Depression Diet, and
16
00:00:55.159 --> 00:01:00.399
I for one, am quite disappointed that my Disneyland did
17
00:01:00.439 --> 00:01:05.040
not come to fruition. That was, unfortunately, which is of course,
18
00:01:05.120 --> 00:01:07.920
only the beginning of the disappointments of this episode, because
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00:01:08.040 --> 00:01:14.439
come on, people, seriously, how is it possible that Gabby
20
00:01:14.480 --> 00:01:17.400
does not know how to behave at a funeral? I mean,
21
00:01:17.439 --> 00:01:19.560
it reminded That scene reminded me of the one in
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00:01:19.640 --> 00:01:24.319
Parks and Recreation where Jean Ralpheo and Mona Lisa Sapristine
23
00:01:24.319 --> 00:01:27.120
are sneaking around a funeral and going something like, don't
24
00:01:27.159 --> 00:01:31.439
be suspicious, don't don't be suspicious. I think John Ralfio's funeral,
25
00:01:31.439 --> 00:01:36.079
but he was actually alive. It's like she's being a cartoon.
26
00:01:36.159 --> 00:01:36.920
What are you doing?
27
00:01:37.400 --> 00:01:41.439
Yeah, don't talk on the phone at a funeral, don't
28
00:01:41.840 --> 00:01:45.719
talk loud and gesticulate and dnswer Yeah, who are these people?
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00:01:45.840 --> 00:01:47.920
Just stand with you?
30
00:01:48.120 --> 00:01:49.799
Yeah, there's no reason.
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00:01:49.920 --> 00:01:54.000
Go stand with the people at the funeral and turn
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00:01:54.079 --> 00:01:57.040
your phone off, or go sit in your car and
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00:01:57.079 --> 00:02:01.959
talk on the phone. You're a grown woman, Yeah, you're.
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00:02:02.079 --> 00:02:05.280
Like a professional professional. Yeah.
35
00:02:07.359 --> 00:02:11.560
And I want to like Sophie, I really do. I
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00:02:11.599 --> 00:02:16.520
really want to root for them, But she's in a
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00:02:16.560 --> 00:02:19.599
group of people that are a lot. She's too much.
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00:02:21.879 --> 00:02:27.879
Just just is she ever gonna stop being that way?
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00:02:28.840 --> 00:02:33.800
And now she has this week we meet her husband
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00:02:33.800 --> 00:02:37.360
and her kid. Her husband played by somebody who played
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00:02:37.400 --> 00:02:40.840
a bad ex husband on Mom as well, So I'm like, oh, really,
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00:02:40.919 --> 00:02:44.360
why did he divorce Christian then marry this other lady
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and then divorce her and go marry you, Sophie. I'm
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Matt Jones. Nice to see a man. You're getting yourself
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a niche here. I just.
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I don't know, Yeah, what is wrong with people?
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What is wrong with people?
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It was a lot, Yeah.
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I mean awful that it started with a funeral but
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then immediately veered off and do you huh huh Yeah, no, no,
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don't do that.
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And I mean, not to be a prude, but do
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people really talk about sex in front of their eighteen
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year old neighbors in this manner like I'm uncomfortable and
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I'm just washing it. I mean, Alice rolls with it,
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00:03:44.719 --> 00:03:47.879
but like she shouldn't have to, Like, no, don't do that.
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She shouldn't.
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That was Derek U referring to the toothpaste.
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Is that what we're talking about?
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00:03:54.719 --> 00:03:56.960
Yeah, but there was I feel like there was another
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scene too, Like there was at the beginning when Alice
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was holding the baby and there was some talk about it,
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and then it came up again when they were at
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Alice and Jimmy's house, which again, why Derek is there,
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I don't know.
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Elice has historically been around when her dad was having
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call girls over in the wake of her mother's death.
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So she rolls with it. She's good, she's friends with Summer.
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Someone wasn't in this episode, was she?
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No?
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This is what this episode was missing. Summer needs to
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be the least appropriate person in all situations. If she's
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not there, the rest of them kind of fall apart.
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M hmm, Okay, now we know. Now we know what
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the problem was, Bill Lawrence. I thought that she had
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a contract to just be there for no apparent reason.
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Every episode Get That InCD come on.
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And we found out what the what the living situation
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of Bryan's was that they had.
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That was fun the description.
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Yeah, it was the fact that Ava was living with them.
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Which this is why you don't do adoption this way,
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you got. I just just I firmly recommend going to
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another country and then never having any content with anybody again.
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But yeah, it's gonna be complicated. It's not Liz is
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absolutely right that it's not appropriate, and Ava is absolutely
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right that Liz is bossy and over involved, and the
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fact that they could agree to that over.
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Some spreadsticks from ours.
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Yes, I approve that's fine. I don't think it's going
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to change really, Liz does anything at all, but Ava
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really needs to move on. I guess this is this
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is the MOVAYR.
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Yeah, okay, supposed to be.
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Yeah.
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There was also some thought online that the theme of
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this this episode was boundaries because nobody had any and yeah,
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work on that, you guys, as you say, don't don't
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be talking about sax in front of your eighteen year
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old neighbor slash daughter slash friend. Yeah, So is it?
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Do we think that Paul knows everything that went on
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between Gabby and Maya and is cool with it, or
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that he was just looking at Gabby's notes from their
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sessions and not aware that she was going to trivia
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night with her. He knows that she was going to
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the gym, right because he was in the group with
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the guys, right, Yes, that she had set up this
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sort of quasi friendship thing and then kind of shut
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her down.
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Yeah, yeah, that's a good thing.
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I wonder if that piece is because if he is
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and we're just hand waving it all away, that's kind
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of weird because that should be this, that should be
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the crux of this is not as her married couple
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patients were yelling and her about why do you not
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know every detail of her life right as they're saying
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things that, hey, we heard at the funeral this and that,
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and how come you didn't know that You've known her
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for how long and you didn't know it? And you know,
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Maya was very closed off. She wasn't sharing information. How
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exactly is Gabby supposed to have this? That seemed like
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a completely bogus attack, but you tried jimmying her, and
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this is what happened, is an attack that there is
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a line that they have to follow. I think, do
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they not? Are they not going to? Are they ducking
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underneath the table all that whizz is by, because yeah, you.
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Guys, especially the way that conversation with Paul and Gabby
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ended where he was like, well, you have to get
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back on the horse, and you know if you don't
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do it right away, it's going to be really hard,
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and she was like, no, I'm not going to. And
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I did think that was an appropriate response, like if
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she needs time off, she needs time off. She can't
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be a good therapist if she doesn't take that time.
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So I don't know why Paul, you know, he's presented
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as this, you know, absolute genius of therapy or at
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least he has all the experience. But like I didn't
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necessarily think that was the right call.
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I think it depends on what we're talking about. If
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you're a therapist, you're going to have bad outcomes sometimes
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even if you do everything right, and if you feel it,
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you know, as a disruption of your life every time
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it happens, you're not gonna be able to practice very well.
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You're gonna be constantly paranoid. So I think his feeling
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is it's a professional risk. It happens, you move on,
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you learn from it and move on or whatever. But
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if the point is that she screwed up, then yeah,
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she needs to take some time to think about it.
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But that doesn't seem to be where they're going. That's
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at least not where Paul is going. And I can't
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believe if he thought she was jimmying, he would be
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brushing it off. So more information, please, I do not
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understand what are you guys doing. I would very much
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like for you to just brush this under the table
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and say, oh, well, sometimes there are bad outcomes, let's
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move on with our lives and have it. Not we
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constructed this tragic event specifically to screw Gab yep, let's go.
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I don't like that. I don't want that, right, And
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you know, Derek too is sitting around with a ring
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in his pocket, and is this just gonna be so
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that she'll say no? I I guess she probably would
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have said no before, but even so, Yeah, yeah, you
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guys are gonna pull us off, right, You're gonna pull
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us all together in some way. That's good, right, Right,
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it's all gonna work out, not just inventing a woman
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and then throwing her away for the purposes of move on. Yeah,
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but I did think that the married couple was completely
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out of line and good ridds.
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So yeah, yep, just.
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Need you to see you people anymore.
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Excellent, go fight over hand, exactly, Go find someone else
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that will listen to you.
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Are you absolutely? Oh goodness, there was so much bad behavior.
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Well a couple of a couple of things I particularly
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liked was excellent face acting by Lukiita Maxwell when she's
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sending her dad off on the date, and you could
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tell she really hates the idea of him like moving
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on from her mom, but at the same time really
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loves him and wants him to be happy. It's just
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like the two emotions were playing on her face so well,
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and also when she says, you look like a princess,
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which is what he said to her when she came
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downstairs for the party in season one, and she did
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not care for that, so she gives it back to
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him and Liz's big weird son in Paul's word, is
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hooking everybody up with sneakers? Yes, so so Grandma on them,
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though is unclear. Grandma's advice is yes being taken into
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because we know every good entrepreneur starts by selling things
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to all their parents' friends.
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So that's right.
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You go, you girl scout, you can do it. How
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does someone leave their jacket, wallet, and keys at a party?
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Yeah?
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How do you drive?
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How do you get?
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How do you get in your house? Okay, you could
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have a key under the pot. I guess you could
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have a key under the bottom of your car.
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I used to I used to have a key.
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Hundred Do people still do that little magnet box that
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goes under your car with a key in it.
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I don't know.
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People people who forget things used to have those you'd have,
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But if you needed front of your door with the
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key in it, you'd have the lock box. Under your
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car with the key in it.
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But if you needed to access that item, then like
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when you realize, oh, I left my keys inside.
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Yes, exactly, Well, I would think I would think that
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she would be too just given the way they've constructed
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that character. She would be too mortified to go into
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cheaters and she's just Are there people who are that
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ditsie outside of sitcoms?
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Do they exist? But if they do?
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In her jacket, I could see leaving her. But just like,
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that's just a line that's written to be funny. That's
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not an actual thing a person would do.
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Right, It's I think that if people were that ditsy
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in real life, you know, other people's responses would not
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be as gentle.
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Oh she's goofy. We like you. She makes the rest
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of us feel really competent and good. Oh man, yeah, well,
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I suppose the parenting tips we could take from this
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are number one, to make firm boundaries everywhere, but maybe
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especially with the helpers in your life. Make sure that
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the babysitter knows and the anybody who works with your
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child knows. I am the parent, I am the boss.
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You work for me.
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Shut up.
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This is why I never had any any Yes, I
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did not want to manage another I did not want
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to manage an employee another adult.
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Yes, I very much agree, and I really we didn't
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really have anybody either. We hired somebody from our church
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to be at the house when the kids got home
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on the bus for a couple of days a week
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for a couple of hours. But we got home, they left,
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so I.
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Didn't have to.
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Yeah, it was pretty It was pretty low key. But
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it also extends to some degree to educators and and
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service people who work with your children. To know that
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I respect your opinion and I am interested in it
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and I want it. But I'm the mom and I
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get to decide.
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Right, I will decide what to do with that information
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once you have given it to me.
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You are not in charge of my family, and you
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know only a little.
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Piece of my life. Shut up.
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So that is harder to do than to manage the
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person who's in your house. But you have to you
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have to remember that, No, I am the CEO of
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this corporation, and these people are employees, and I can
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fire them, and I can give them performance reviews, but
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they will do their best to.
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Make you feel that that is not the case. But
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it is right.
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Give them an all, you know, shove a carb wand
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down their throat and get the hell out of there.
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Let's see.
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Also going back to that ava thing like Okay, you
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got a job a week ago. That is not actually
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enough time for her to then also get an apartment.
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It is not, but it is. But she was laving
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home and saying, hey, I got a job, isn't that great.
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I'm going to start looking for an apartment right away. Guys,
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It's going to take me a little bit of time,
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but I will do it. To not say anything and
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yet have your T shirt with your workplace in the laundry.
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This too is sitcom behavior. Yes, guys, you're getting lazy.
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Come on. I would also absolutely say, from a parenting
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point of view, teach your children how to behave at
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funerals and learn it yourself. I don't remember as a
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kid ever going to a funeral in California. As grown up,
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I don't think it was a thing. I don't think
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it was a part of the culture at least to
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bring kids there. I mean, obviously they had funerals, but
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in New Jersey, oh my goodness, I have been to
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more wakes, not so much going to the cemetery, but
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going to a funeral home and sitting in a room
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for a while, right, and we bring the kids, and
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it's a thing. And I've always been proud that my son,
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whatever disabilities and difficulties he may have, is really good
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at wakes. He knows to walk up to the person
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and say I'm sorry for your loss, and you know,
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he just sits quietly, and he's so good and people
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are so happy with him.
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You know.
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It's a strength. So if you are in a culture
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or a part of the country or whatever where that's
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a thing that people do. No, you may not sing
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along with your phone while you're sitting in there. No
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you may not talk on the phone at the funeral.
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No you may No you may not show them what
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Gabby did and say you may do none of these things.
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This is not a look how inappropriate this looks.
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Yeah, you may not lurk around the edges. Yeah.
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We will link to that parks in Recca clip as well,
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because it is very germane to Gabby's behavior, even though
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she would not think so. But why would Liz call
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her if she knew she was a I think.
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She called it. I think Gabby called.
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Her, Gabby Calton. I thought Liz called Gabby. Okay, oh no,
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she didn't. She did anybody she called. Liz called her
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to just check on her. I think I think Liz
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called to see how the funeral was going.
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Yeah, don't do that, which no, I.
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Mean, you could maybe give her a pass if she
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thought it was over and she was just checking to
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see how Gabby was.
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The very text and say call me after. But even
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that turn your phone off.
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Just yeah, it's just general.
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I mean, I maybe in California they don't have as
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much practice. I don't know, because I don't remember my
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parents going to funerals. I don't think we had a
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particularly death freak ohort that we lived in. But I
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just I don't remember it as being a thing. So
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maybe it's uncool to die in California.
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You just let's you just.
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Nobody wants to talk about it.
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It's okay, it's fine.
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We also parenting tip wise, Letting kids play video games
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always a bad idea, Always going to be trouble, at
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least if you're on TV. But you know, if if
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you need to get going, just pull the plug.
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We're leaving now.
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You don't really have to let them play all the
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way to the end.
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No, but you know he made he promised kid like,
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don't care, you can play, which was very aggressive. Yeah,
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it was very bad parent. He was don't count on
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the fact that the game is going to be overas.
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That think dad was doing it on purpose. But in general,
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be in control over that. If you let them play,
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have the knowledge be that when you're ready for them
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to stop, they're going to stop. And it does not
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rule your life. It rule your family, life or your plans.
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My parents used to say that to me as a kid.
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TV does not rule your life because you know, at
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that time shows were only on yes once a week, yes,
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at a certain time. So if you.
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Couldn't watch it, then you couldn't watch it at all.
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You might get a rerun, no.
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Not no way to tape it. Maybe it would repeat,
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but if it did, it would be in the summer,
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and so you would have to remember until then.
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Yeah.
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It was brutal, you guys.
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Yeah, it was. It was a hard life.
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Also, you had to sit. I don't know, maybe this
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was this was just me. Maybe this did they have
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remotes by the time you were a child, because when
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I was a kid, you had to sit in front
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of the TV and change the channel for yourself and
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your parents. Yeah, we did not physically turn a knob.
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And we only got like three channels.
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I mean there were the dial went to thirteen I think,
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but a bunch of them were not. There was nothing there.
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And then there was a UHF setting which was like
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the wild Wild West. Who the bleak knew I was
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on that? And how you got it? But yes, kids,
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and then we would paint on the walls of the caves.
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It was so fun.
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But yes, that exact phrasing is something that my parents
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would say. Ye, TV does not rule your alone.
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I remember throwing a tantrum once because the Jerry Mahoney
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Show was starting and we were still at the restaurant,
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and everybody knew I had to be home in time
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for the Jerry Mahoney show. Why are we not home now?
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So that was not popular, But I was an only
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child and I got away with a lot. But yeah,
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you know, as long as there have been parents and children,
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there have been things that the children wanted to keep
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doing and things that the parents wanted them to stop.
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And as the parent, that is your role, and that
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is your right to stop it in whatever way is necessary.
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Do not be afraid to use that power. Do not
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let yourself stand in an awkward situation for a long
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time just because the kid needs to finish the thing
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the kid is doing. Bring it with, finish it at home,
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play another game. Well that the kid had no screens
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an I will survive not finishing the video game.
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It is a good lesson in getting over it.
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00:22:48.720 --> 00:22:54.759
M and I suppose we will eventually get over this episode.
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But I don't know. We're going down down row. I
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00:23:00.279 --> 00:23:09.000
don't wish to go down, Yeah, but go down then
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00:23:09.000 --> 00:23:15.160
we shall. We generally love this show, this episode, but
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still still like people. Is there something that Jimmy could
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prescribe for Sophie to make her stop being like that?
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00:23:26.039 --> 00:23:27.359
I don't think Jimmy has a.
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00:23:27.319 --> 00:23:29.759
Mild sedative of some sort. Possibly, I don't.
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Think Jimmy has that power.
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00:23:32.440 --> 00:23:34.000
That's right, he doesn't prescribe.
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Psychologists a psychiat darn.
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I just feel like she needs something more than just
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a boyfriend. But you know, good luck to you all.
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00:23:48.559 --> 00:23:53.000
Calm down please, So next Tuesday, we will continue with
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00:23:53.079 --> 00:23:56.359
season three, episode nine of Shrinking, which I regret to
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00:23:56.440 --> 00:24:02.359
inform you is called Daddy Issues. Jeff Daniel is coming
402
00:24:02.359 --> 00:24:06.400
back I'm Guessing Wrong show, and we've back tomorrow to
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00:24:06.480 --> 00:24:10.640
discuss Lost. Speaking of daddy issues, every episode of Loss
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00:24:10.759 --> 00:24:16.000
is called daddy Issues. Thank you for listening. You can
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00:24:16.039 --> 00:24:19.799
find all our episodes on Spreaker, Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music,
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00:24:19.920 --> 00:24:23.480
or wherever you get your podcasts. You can find recaps, links,
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00:24:23.480 --> 00:24:26.920
and an opportunity to comment on our website at parentingroundabout
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00:24:26.960 --> 00:24:27.680
dot com.
409
00:24:27.720 --> 00:24:29.960
You can also talk to us on our Facebook page,
410
00:24:30.000 --> 00:24:32.559
on Instagram or on Twitter, where you'll find us at
411
00:24:32.640 --> 00:24:36.359
roundabout Chat. And please visit our Amazon shop at Amazon
412
00:24:36.400 --> 00:24:39.799
dot com, slash Shop slash mamitude, but you can find
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00:24:39.839 --> 00:24:41.720
links to a lot of the things we've talked about
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00:24:41.759 --> 00:24:47.640
over the years.
