127. Reputation Destruction (Smear Campaign): Decoding, Debunking and Managing A Toxic Ex Colleague

One of the first things narcissists do to make people take sides, such as after a break up, is Reputation Destruction. They will not only gossip, but also lie. Fabricate events. Mix truths and lies. And remove context. They play the "first mover advantage". Provided they can place an idea…

Narcissists HATE people talking. Why? Because they can't control what is said. They don't know what is said. That creates uncertainty and reduces their power. And yes, they will happily talk behind others' backs. Create falsehoods, narratives. But when people speak, they will realise conflicting na…

One of the most helpful tools in systemic therapy is identifying primary and secondary goals. Otherwise we get hypnotised by words. I say I want to run a marathon but I smoke, eat pizza and don't even wear running shoes? Maybe I'm not a hypocrite, but maybe my primary goal is to do nothing whilst …