Interview with "The Breakout Expert", Yalonda Haywood

Today's episode is an interview with Yalonda Haywood, "The Breakout Expert".

Meet Yalonda:

Yalonda Haywood, "The Breakout Expert", is a wife, mother, minister, author, speaker, and business-life coach. As a child, she was creatively gifted and always knew she was meant for more. After finishing high school, she did what was expected. She pursued her undergrad studies, received her MBA, built a great 6 figure corporate career and started a family with the love of her life.

Although all of the pieces were in place, she one day she woke up and realized she was missing something. While being successful at doing what was normal and expected, she had failed at doing what was authentic, purposeful, divine and fulfilling. One day while on business travel, she simply heard the words "Your pain has a purpose. With each trial, I taught you to break out and keep going. You are an expert at breaking out. Now teach others to do the same". That's when "The Breakout Expert" was born. Yalonda decided to partner with God as she repurposed her pain and became a business-life coach dedicated to helping others break free.

Through her T.R.U.T.H. ™ system, lives are transformed, relationships are restored, businesses are birthed, lids are removed, careers are accelerated, pain is repurposed and the possibilities… let's just say they simply become limitless.

Her mission: No More Walls. She is determined to help others break free of every invisible wall that is holding them back while teaching them how to gain a keen E&W IQ™. Yes, a sharp emotional and worth intelligence!

Podcast Transcript

Lisa: "Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, Dare2Dream! Today I have a super treat for us. We have, for the first time to the Dare2Dream audience, Yalonda Haywood. And she is "The Breakout Expert".

She is a wife, a mother, a minister, an author, speaker, and business life coach. That's a lot of stuff that she's got going on! As a child, she was creatively gifted and always knew she was meant for more. After finishing high school; she did what was expected. She pursued her undergraduate studies, received her MBA, built a great six-figure corporate career, and started a family with the love of her life.

Although all of the pieces were in place, she one day woke up and realized she was missing something. While being successful at doing what was normal and expected, she had failed at doing what was authentic, purposeful, divine, and fulfilling. One day, while on a business trip, she simply heard the words, "Your pain has a purpose. With each trial, I taught you to break out and keep going. You are an expert at breaking out."

Now she teaches others to do the same. That's when the break-out expert was born! Yalonda decided to partner with God, as she repurposed her pain and became a business life coach, dedicated to helping others break free. Through her trademark system T.R.U.T.H. spelled out T-R-U-T-H; she lives and transforms relationships and restores businesses and helps them remove barriers through careers and repurposing their pain.

And the possibilities just say that they are simply limitless. Her mission, "No More Walls", she is determined to help others Break Free of every invisible wall that is holding them back while teaching them how to get gain a keen E&W IQ™, and she's going to have to tell us more about what that is. And yes, a sharp emotional and worth intelligence. So, that's enough to say Amen! And so, without further ado, I am going to ask that our guest, Yalonda Haywood, the breakout expert, tell us first what is the secret to your success?"

Yalonda: "Well firstly, let me say thank you so much for having me today. I consider it an honor and the privilege to connect with you and your listeners. The secret to my success, I honestly feel can be summed up in one word - or two - Leap and Trust. Anytime I have ever hit another level, it required me to trust in God, to trust in the gifts, skills, talents, abilities that He has blessed me with, and then simply to leap.

I know that I have a way of getting in my own head, which will allow me to get in my own way. And so, I have to leap. I have to go; I can't stay stagnant. I firmly believe that God is able to correct my course when I'm moving. But when I am standing still, He can't correct me, because I'm not walking forward in the faith that I proclaim and profess."

Lisa: "That's awesome! So, tell me, and our listeners here at Dare2Dream. I know that, as I was introducing you to our audience, that you are also not just a wife, a mother, but you're also a minister. So, tell us a little bit about how you connect with God and what you do on a daily basis, and tell us about, maybe if you have a routine that that's associated with."

Yalonda: "So, let me just say, I feel like God has always been a part of my life. So, becoming a minister for me just, it really was a way of allowing the world to know what God and I already knew. It was our secret and we just shared it with others. I connected with Him, my first experience of remembering that was at age 12, and then again at age 17. I can remember really making a commitment to walk with Him. And over the years, my routine has changed, and it changes with the seasons. But the thing that stays consistent, is I don't focus on ministering to other people. I focus on being ministered to by God and worshipping Him and everybody else benefits from the overflow of our relationship.

So, for me, if I'm in a steady flow; that looks like when I wake up in the morning, I acknowledge his presence in my life. That's the first thing. I thank Him, I thank the Holy Spirit for filling me, for guiding me, for leading me, and that's before my feet literally hit the floor. That is a must do for me, because I know truly in Him, I live, move, and have my very being.

And then there's study time. Sometimes I am studying a book out of the Bible, and sometimes I'm studying a book that leads me back to the word to validate what the author is writing. But it still allows me to feed my spirit with the consistent word. And then there's always prayer. Prayer for me is the glue that holds everything together. When I'm praying, I'm going to have the prayers for others, the prayers for my family, the prayers for myself, the prayers for work. I really categorize my prayers so that I can make sure that I'm spreading God's love across every area of life that I'm responsible for touching.

And so, there are times and there are seasons, just to be honest, where it's heads down every day in the word because I really need it. That means I am in a place where I need to fill my cup. And then there are some seasons where it may be a few times per week, and I'm living off - I call it "the bear" - I call it 'the bear season' where I've stored up. And that's carrying me while I go out and do some of the work that God has assigned for me to do."

Lisa: "Amen! Amen! I know in my own practice, and the Dare2Dream audience is aware of this, is that establishing a routine in the morning, of connecting with God, and also gratitude. And so, I employ a method called "Gratitude Blitz". And so, I am thankful that you too, have incorporated that into what you do. So, I know also that you are an author, a speaker, and a business life coach. But also, a wife and a mother - so tell me how are you balancing all those big, big, big titles?"

Yalonda: "Lord help me! I'll start off with the wife because I balance well because my husband and I are a team. And he supports the work that God is calling me to do. And it's not a relationship of asking for permission. It's a relationship where I seek his agreement. And as long as we are in agreement, Team Haywood knows how to function. He knows when, "Hey, I'm on Daddy duty, I got the kids, I got dinner, I got the house". And then there are days when I'm on mommy duty, "I got the kids, I got the dog, I got the house" – we balance it well together. As a mom, I'm present. That's important to me. And I don't mean present like "Yes, my kids are going to be clothed, and fed and clean". But present where when we are connecting; I'm looking into their eyes. I want to make sure when I say, "Are you okay?" or "How are you? How was your day?" That I look past their words, and I know that they are okay, or I know something's not right, or how was their day. I bring them into the activities. My youngest, Justin, has now taken a new interest in cooking; and whenever he hears a pot or pan, he's like, "Oh, what are we doing today?", And he's washing his hands and getting ready. I invite him into that place with me, because it's another way for me to integrate quality time into the things that are necessary and just must be done.

As far as being an author, that is the download from God. He speaks outright; He speaks outright. And when the downloading comes a lot. Like this weekend was just a true weekend of downloading, and I said to my husband, "I got to write, I got to get this out." And so, I was gone. I went to a café. I got nestled in a corner and a table, I had many cups of coffee, and I was there for like six- and eight-hour sprints; just getting it done. But then when I came home, I was able to be present again. My mind wasn't divided. So, for me sometimes, it's a matter of just getting the work done when it's time to work and knowing when it's time to relax so that I can connect in the most meaningful ways possible with my family. So that we're creating memories and not just going through a task list every day."

Lisa: "Got it. That's good! So, you also are an author. So, tell us about this book. This latest book that you have coming out. We are - as you can tell - I love reading and would love to hear about it."

Yalonda: "So, this latest work that I'm finishing, and is actually and is getting ready to go to editing and print, is "Break Out: It's Time to Have the Talk". And it's a book/workbook. This particular work is very near and dear to my heart, because in ministry; I birthed forth a company called "Rest Remains Funeral Program". That particular company allowed me to do really creative design work for those who wanted to honor the life of their loved one it a special way.

However, as my clients came through the door; it became more than just creating a program, of course, it became a ministry as we began to heal hearts. And I kept hearing a recurring theme about all of the pieces that were not put together before a tragedy occurred, or before life happened, or before someone passed away. And I watched people, not be able to enter into the grieving process because they were too busy trying to be the administrator of the affairs. Because everything was in shambles. I learned quickly that when we put the pieces together, we leave the final gift of peace.

So, this particular workbook, it's a way of guiding us through how to deal with our inner emotions, our inner thoughts, how to stand in our own truth about what we would like in times of crisis, medical emergencies, or post-life plans. So, we deal with us first in this workbook, and then it teaches you how to have the talk with your family, and how to organize your affairs. So, if that day comes - or I should say when that day comes - everything is already put together, and you truly give your family the final gift of peace, and they're not in a state of worry and chaos."

Lisa: "Amen! So definitely keep us posted on that, because, as you said, it's not if it happens but it's when it happens, and we all need to be prepared for the inevitable and preparing our families for when it's our time, and especially, I know myself as my parents are getting older, and older family members and aunts and all that, to have that type of resource just feels like an amazing gift to the community. So, thank you. And then you are a business life coach. Tell us about the work that you're doing there?"

Yalonda: "I love it, I love what I do. As you stated in the introduction, I was in a place of seeking. I was really seeking God for what is the next leap for Yalonda? I felt like I was in a place of transition and change. I was feeling a void that I knew could not be filled by the world, or man, or riches, or wealth, and I was looking at what is that missing piece? And I found myself traveling. And as I was traveling, I simply heard God say to me, "You are an expert at breaking out. I have told you how to break out, now teach others to do the same." And He said, "You are the breakout expert." And it was in that moment, that if a choir could sing if the heavens could begin to dance; that happened in my heart because I knew exactly what He meant. I began to go back over the course of my life that had thrown me some hard curve balls; from overcoming childhood abuse and molestation, to marital challenges, to financial disaster, and having to rebuild. All of those things; the grief that was in my heart from so many obstacles in having to walk hand-in-hand with Him as He healed me and made me whole again; I was like "God, I got it", I broke out. And I knew that my trials were not for naught. They were to be capitalized upon; so that God would get the glory from everything that the enemy thought he would use to destroy me, but God actually used to build me.

And so, in my work as a Business Life Coach, I'm a creative strategist. Creativity is a true gift, I see in color, I hear in color, I see pictures when people talk. I mean it's just the way God created me, it's unique. And I am able to bring my clients in, and the first phase of my program is that mental clarity; it is helping them develop that emotional and worth intelligence, where they become really keenly in tune with what they are thinking, what they are feeling, they own those emotions, they regain their worth, because sometimes the circumstances and the trials of life come and try to rob us of who we are, whose we are, and what we are entitled to. And so, you regain that worth, and then you really begin to work with me to create a strategy to break out of the place that you are so that you can tap into the life that you really want."

Lisa: "Alright! That's amazing! So how did you come to be the breakout expert? How did you land there?"

Yalonda: "You mean in the coaching?"

Lisa: "Yes"

Yalonda: "I leaped! I literally leaped! My secret sauce to success is to leap. And I am immediately obedient. So, when I hear the Lord say, "Do something", I have to activate - once I know, if I'm sure it's Him, I activate. So, for me, I took all of the experience – coaching is new, but it's not new. I say if you count 20 years in Ministry, the sister girl talks, the let me pick your brains, the "Yalonda what do you think about this?", or can you help me, can you look at this, if you count all of that? I've been coaching for two decades, definitely. It's not new, but I formalized it. I made it official. I went ahead and called a spade, a spade and said: "I am a business life coach". I help people rebound, I help people come up with strategy, I am the creative juice behind their visions. And you know I went ahead and I, myself, up leveled. I secured a coach. I think that's really, really, important to invest in where you want to grow. So, I wanted to grow in that area.

So, I needed to invest in myself so that I could continue to be coached; so that I could coach others at a higher level. I invested in all of the tools that were needed. You know, to really begin to develop a presence. From my marketing to my personal branding representatives that I partnered with, to photography that I partner with, to new relationships and networking in the industry, I really began to become a student to the craft that I wanted to perfect. And I would spend hours and hours every single day making sure that I was creating the content and material that would be valuable to the clients that I would work with. I don't believe in putting something into the market that's not of the standard that would represent God first, and something that I would want myself. So, I invested the time, the energy, the prayers, the heart, and making sure I had a great program. So, the breakout expert really was just born when I made that decision to leap, and then I rolled up my sleeves and I got to work."

Lisa: "Well, it sounds like this investment thing in yourself, and taking that leap and trusting God really help you to get to that place. And I am a big supporter of investing in ourselves. I think as women, and especially women of color; we spend so much time investing in the people that are around us, our loved ones, our friends, in our communities, in our churches, and it's like the same when you're on the airplane and the stewardess says, "Put your airbag on first". And so, it sounds like you have taken that to heart. I applaud you for making that leap and making the investment. Now, this is interesting, your system is spelled out truth T-R-U-T-H. So, can you just give us just a peek into what that represents?"

Yalonda: "When I was doing what I call my 'self-check' I have to stay true to myself. So, I'm writing all of this wonderful content, and I called five people in my life that I know that are near dear and just really know Yalonda. And I said to them, "Whenever I have helped you at any phase in life; what is something that you can say about how I relate?" And four of the five said to me, "Oh you just give us the truth. You tell it like it is. There is no sugarcoating with you. We don't have to worry about where we stand, you just going to give the truth".

Instantly, I look back at my content and I could see 'truth'. So, the T stands for Touch the Walls. Because in order to break out, you must break down the invisible wall. So, you got to touch them; you got to know they're there. The R stands for Reflect Inwardly. This is where you really begin to take a look at where you are self-sabotaging, and you learn how to repurpose your pain, reprogram the mind, and reframe your actions. The U stands for Unlock the Potential. Sometimes as you go through life and there are all of these walls that are holding you back; your potential gets locked up. And so, I take clients through the exercise of teaching them how to unlock all of that greatness. The next T is Torch It, and this is where we ignite the passion and the fire. Now that the potential is unlocked, you will become, you will get excited about what your hands will be able to do, and so we really go through an exercise of identifying your reason why, and I'm teaching you tactics to stay connected to your purpose so that you don't get derailed by distractions.

The last is Hit the Ground Running. It does not matter if you break down a wall, if you see your potential, if you get excited if you don't take action. And so, we'll use this phase of my program to help you make stellar career business plans on so that he really began to gain momentum and put your faith into action."

Lisa: "Nice, Nice, That's nice. So, changing gears just a little bit, and so I love this question because if I were asking myself this question, I have a bunch to say. But if you could send a message back to yourself at any age: 10 years ago, 20 years ago, 30 years ago - what would the message be, and why?"

Yalonda: "Oh Lisa, if I could send a message to myself – it would be, "take off the mask." It really would be "take off the mask", because I hit some hard roads in life, but I kept going. And I presented myself well put together when there were many times I was so broken on the inside - and it's almost an oxymoron - because I didn't trust the God that I trusted beyond all others, to do what I know only He could do in me. If I just would have paused, if I would have stopped, if I would have been honest with myself about where I was, I would have gotten to my place of authenticity and my place of divine Serenity a lot faster, quicker, and more powerfully.

I didn't begin to show up in the full power of who God created me to be, until I took the mask off and I was able to say, "I'm hurt, I'm broken, I'm scared, I'm unsure, I don't know." And when I work, when I really began to do that; I realized I didn't have that much to worry about. Things started happening so quickly for me. That's what I would tell myself and then I would tell my young self to trust - trust the unction. I am today where I dreamed of being when I was 17. When I was 17, I said to myself, "I'm going to be a motivational speaker, and I want to write books, and I want to travel the world, and I want to help people." Then someone said to me "You can't make money doing that." And so, I said to me, "Oh, well I guess I'll go to college." And I'm not saying there's anything wrong with higher education, I totally believe in it and encourage people to go further. But if I would have listened to me, and cut out the sound of the world and got in tune with the sound of my own voice? The journey would not have been the forty-year journey through the desert. (laughs) It would have been a quicker route to where I was ultimately designed to be anyway."

Lisa: "All right. I think I have some stories that I share about that I wilderness trek that took 40 years. So, I can definitely concur and relate to that. So, I'm thinking about, you know, all the things that you're doing - all the things that you're responsible for - I want to also just connect back a little bit to your mission. And so your mission, as it's clearly stated in your bio, is "No More Walls". So, tell me about what that means to you, what that means potentially to people who connect with you, to help them find their own truth, and also to the Dare2Dream podcast audience."

Yalonda: "So, no more walls from me echoes in my ears so loudly. It's a reminder that I don't have to live with limits when I serve a limitless Savior. It is a reminder to me that everything is possible to him who believes. That I don't need the permission of a man to put me in a box. I wasn't designed to be restricted. I'm not designed to be imprisoned by fear, doubt, and unbelief - and I say that to the listeners - you're not. You are designed by the One who created the wind, who is free-flowing, that blows; that created, hung the sun and the moon and the stars in the sky. He painted the canvas of the universe. That means that for you as an individual, you are uniquely designed and created, and you should not live within a box. You should not live with walls that prevent you from running hard, from going fast, from getting all that Heaven will allow for you.

One of my most favorite scriptures is Psalms 27:13 through 14. And when you talk about all of the things that I do, sometimes when you look at them on paper, it can seem overwhelming to people. But it's not for me because I don't live my life with walls anymore. I am guided by Him, and God just – He's the Master project manager. Hallelujah! He absolutely tells me how to orchestrate my life and all of the pieces come together and that scripture says, "I had fainted unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord."

And, for me, I hold so fast to that in my mission of No More Walls, because it reminds me that I'm not going to fight in this journey, that I am putting my faith and my hopes in the right place. But if I have courage that He is going to give me the strength - and it's His responsibility to strengthen my hand, because that's what it promised He shall strengthen thine heart He shall strengthen my hand He is the one that gives me what I need so that I'm able to operate in excellence in everything that He's calling me to do.

And I always take that, Lisa, and I couple it with 1st Thessalonians, I think 5 and 24, which says "Faithful is he who calls me, who also will do it." And so I don't faint, because He is faithful. I don't live with walls, because He's going to strengthen me. I don't resist and hold back, because I know that He's going to fulfill the purpose in my life. And so I say to the listeners, whenever you find yourself at that place of transition, whenever you are daring to dream, as you would say in this community, bank on yourself. Put your confidence, your trust, and your faith in the one that you serve and then just Dream.

Most of everything that I do today that has created a different lifestyle for me and my family, that changed the trajectory of us living beneath our means in a place that was financially hard, came when I started to dream. I didn't have to know all of the pieces, I didn't have to know how. I entered into my first six-figure career because I dared to dream. Someone said "try it", and I said "okay!" and I did, and it's simply worked! It just worked! I realize that I knew things, and I had skills that I may not have known what to call them, but it didn't diminish the skill nonetheless. I may not have understood the industry lingo, but once I got in there, I fit right in. You have to be willing to take that leap because on the other side of your fear, is the manifestation of all of the promises and the blessing that life has for you."

Lisa: "Amen! Let the church say Amen! So, I want to leave some time as well for you to go a little bit into if you want the E&W IQ™, and then also how the Dare2Dream listeners can reach you, connect with you, and understand more about the work you're doing as the breakout expert."

Yalonda: "All right. So, E&W IQ™, a new system that I created for emotional and worth intelligence. And so, a lot of times we are told to be strong, to keep going, oh don't let that get you down, don't worry about that, you've got it, and what happens is we process that as knowledge, but not necessarily our truth. Because the truth maybe "yeah I will overcome, but right now I am simply hurt." Or the truth may be "yes I'm going to stay in this marriage, but this broke me, and I have broken pieces." It could be the grief of losing a loved one, or the grief of losing a job, or the things that you work for, but we got to keep going! And so, you don't become emotionally smart, because you numb and dumb down your emotion. And so, one of the things I teach people who work with me is how to really get back in tune to what you're thinking, and how you are feeling so that you learn how to process those emotions in an intelligent way. You are not uneven, you are very strategic and practical about how you begin to approach - you're not up one day and down the next - that's the emotional part in its cliff note version.

The worth part is having to come into a relationship with what you are really worth. It's amazing to me, and I am guilty - I was guilty - it was amazing to me that I had gifts that were uniquely mine. They were my unique blueprint for how I would show up in the world. And my phone was ringing off the hook with people who wanted to connect with me, but my 'having level' and my 'worth' wasn't there. And I can perceive in my mind about how to charge someone, or how to ask a person to invest in the knowledge that they wanted to receive from me.

Or when I would get a job when it was just in corporate, I would be afraid to negotiate a salary, because I didn't have a worth intelligence. But when I learned how to really lay out what I bring, the value that I bring to the table, how I show up in the world, all of the unique skills, gifts, talents, and abilities that make me uniquely Yalonda, my worth started to go up. I realized that I didn't have to be timid about the investment of working with me, I didn't have to be timid about what I deliver, I didn't have to be timid if I received a job offer that did not match my 'having level'. I was okay with saying no, and knowing that something else was going to come back with - be more in line with my belief system about what I was worth. And so, I teach people how to get a connection with that.

And so, a couple of ways that you can connect with me is one, at yalondahaywood.com, my website is yalondahaywood.com and it is a little under construction right now, to be released in the next 30 days, it's having a makeover, but going to that website. And 'Yalonda', because of my mom, is Y-A-L-O-N-D-A, and 'Haywood' is H-A-Y-W-O-O-D. You're able to fill out a contact form and that puts you in my queue for us to have a breakout session, during this breakout session I will help you assess what is your next best move, so that you can make the biggest leap to break out of the invisible wall that's holding you back.

Another way to connect with me is, I will be speaking at the end of this month, Lisa, at the Me, Myself, and I Leadership Empowerment Weekend, hosted by Martha Cooper-Hudson. I am a guest speaker on her panel, so you can register for that event at rediscovhergetaway.com, and it's just the way I said it rediscover her H-E-R getaway dot-com. I will be there all weekend doing some - I'm so excited about the work I'm going to do there March 28th through the 31st. I'm super excited, I have activities that are just bubbling over on the inside of me that's going to help people get major breakthroughs. My Facebook page is @YalondaHaywood, Business Life Coach, and my Instagram is @YalondaHaywood as well, so pretty consistent across the board.

Also, Lisa, I wanted to share with your listeners a work that I did when I was in Jamaica. as I was working through some things in myself, God just started downpouring - every single day He would download a lesson to me, and so I have a mini-devotional called "The Journey to One Love". I was in Jamaica you know that's all about one love. And I was becoming one with myself as I was becoming one with the Father, so today you can get that for free by going to yalondahaywood.com/onelove. And I hope that 7-Day devotional will take you through some powerful and impactful moments to really reflect about where you are, as you raise your E&W IQ™."

Lisa: "So there are a lot of different ways that we can connect with Yalonda, and if you are in, I believe the conference is in North Carolina, you can connect with that, and I'll be sure to put all the information in the show notes. But before we close out, I want to make sure that I thank my sister Yalonda for coming on, and sharing her story, for opening up, being transparent, and authentic, sharing her truth as well with this audience, and of course for her daring to dream. And I want to leave the final word to her before we depart."

Yalonda: "The final word I would say is believe in yourself. You are well able, you really are well able, so whatever it is that you're daring to dream, if you're asking yourself if you can do that job, if you can make that next move, if you can start that business, or if you should, the answer lies within you. Believe in yourself. Believe in the One that promises to be a lamp unto your feet and a light unto your path. And I promise you, if you just start walking, He will correct your path, and get you on the course to bountiful blessings. So, breakout!"

Scripture reference: "13 I had fainted unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. 14 Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord."

Psalm 27:13-14 (KJV)

"Faithful is he that calleth you, who also will do it."

1 Thessalonians 5:24 (KJV)

Connect with Yalonda:

• http://yalondahaywood.com/
• https://www.instagram.com/yalondahaywood/
• https://www.facebook.com/yalondahaywood/
• Free e-Book – Breakout: The Journey to One Love

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Real Girlfriends Prayer Devotional: https://amzn.to/2U23GlV

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