Practical Life

Julia: Happy Wednesday!
Emma: Hello, happy Wednesday. Good morning.
Julia: Happy to see you.
Emma: Oh, you too. How are you doing? How are you feeling today?
Julia: I'm good. I've got, I was 35 weeks yesterday. Four more weeks, baby. I'm so excited.
Emma: You can do this. You're at like the home stretch. This is like one of those are those like hard weeks because you are just anticipating, but you also probably have things to do to get ready.
Julia: I know. So many things to do. But I've pretty much got all the spaces organized. Now I need to fine tune them. So I have the nursery, which really won't be used for a few months.
Emma: Mm-hmm.
Julia: All the things that I need in my room are there, but now they need to be opened and organized. And then I need to go into a closet upstairs. I need to go into the basement. We're getting there. That's all that matters. We're getting there. And I'm just excited to meet him. You know, I can't wait.
Emma: that's so fun. Do you think preparing your environment like that, like helps you mentally prepare for this like big change coming? Like getting
Julia: Yes.
Emma: all the spaces set?
Julia: It does kind of bring it back to reality, you know, because you talk about it for so long.
Emma: Mm-hmm.
Julia: And then, for example, I just had to get a new breast pump. And so I was getting all the breast pump parts out and Adam came out of our bedroom and looked and he saw the flanges, you know, that you have to like resize.
Emma: Yes.
Julia: And he he looked at me, he goes, my gosh, it's real. So
Emma: Yeah.
Julia: It was just, it was really funny. I said, my gosh, it is real. But we're both super excited. How are you doing?
Emma: No, that's so exciting. I'm so happy for you guys.
Julia: I saw your cool pool in your backyard.
Emma: Yes, yes, it's hot this week, like almost 100 degrees. And so we got this like $30 blow up pool from Target and it's been great. It's, you know, it was funny, a friend the other day, was like laying out on a towel in the sun, the boys are in the pool and a friend stopped by to drop something off and she was like, Emma, this is great. I'm like,
Julia: Ha ha.
Emma: ah, here I am. in my bathing suit in my back like my tiny backyard in the middle of town but I feel like we've made it very quaint. We put the sandbox in and I my little umbrella, my little table, and my little garden beds so it's small but
Julia: Do the boys love the pool?
Emma: they do they love it. Yesterday they were in it by like 8 a.m. I was like we have to leave in an hour they're like it's okay they're just swimming so
Julia: I love it. There's nothing like going to the pool. I did not grow up going to a pool just because I grew up with a single parent and she couldn't really take me to the pool, you know, during the summertime
Emma: Mm-hmm.
Julia: because she was always working. And so now that I have a pool, a neighborhood pool and my own children, I take them to the pool and I think, wow, this is the life. This is so pleasant. Yeah.
Emma: It's so nice and you can just be like out of the house all day. I feel like I love that about summer is like our house just doesn't get as messy in the day because you're like wait we weren't even inside most of the day. It's great. I know you can just eat everything else.
Julia: Having picnic lunches. mean, anything I can get out of the house and eat somewhere that's not my own home, I'll do it.
Emma: Yes, yes.
Julia: Less cleaning. Well, speaking of cleaning, today we are talking about practical life in the home.
Emma: Yeah.
Julia: And before we get going, let's just do our, should we do our little intros? You want to start us off, Emma?
Emma: Yeah, yeah, I'm Emma, a married mom of twin boys who are almost four this fall, which is crazy to me. And I was actually thinking about this this morning. I found a Montessori when I was in high school, I observed in a Montessori school, and I was just totally hooked when I like saw it. I didn't even hear it, but there was a bell that rang and all the children like got silent and were looking at the teacher. And then they transitioned. was just this beautiful thing to see where you're like, Whoa, how do they all know what to do? How is everybody doing something? But they're not, nobody's doing the same thing really. And it just is this like organic thing. So once I had observed that I was like, this is what I want to do. Went and got my undergrad then simultaneously got my Montessori training taught for five years in a lower elementary Montessori classroom and had my boys and I'm home. doing it at home now. Yeah. What about you?
Julia: it. Cool. Well, I'm Julia and I live in Kansas City with my husband Adam. We have two girls, baby boy and the way. I was a Montessori child, went to a Montessori school growing up and then I pursued the performing arts in college and professionally and then I went back to school, did my masters and my Montessori training in Minnesota where I met lovely Emma. and taught in a public monosauri school here in Kansas City for seven years and then was pregnant with my second baby and decided to stay home. And so here I am now doing monosauri at home best I can. So here, just two months doing our best. Yeah.
Emma: Here we are. We're just two moms. Not just, we're two moms doing our best and taking everything we gained in those experiences and applying it to our daily life.
Julia: Yeah. And that's why we started this podcast really was because we like talking about Montessori. We like implementing Montessori in our homes. It's been fun to kind of take what we've learned academically and apply it practically in our homes because you know, what you learn in the classroom in a really ideal environment doesn't always translate naturally to a home environment. So we're hoping to shed some light on how you can take Montessori approaches and use them in your home. That's why we started the three main things. So we'll focus on the child, the environment, and the adult.
Emma: Exactly. And today we're focusing on practical life, which is I just I love talking about practical life
Julia: Yes. This is a great.
Emma: because I love practical life myself. I,
Julia: you
Emma: if you didn't know, I love to clean and organize. Like I just do it for fun. It's therapeutic. I'm like weird like that. I just really enjoy it. And so I naturally, I think like doing these things with my children too, because I enjoy them.
Julia: I don't know about you, but I don't function as well if my space is not organized. Like my brain just won't compute.
Emma: No, I had been like a little behind on my chores. So this morning I had like an hour before the boys were gonna be up I thought and I was like how much could I get done? And I got like all of it done in an hour with like
Julia: You go girl.
Emma: when your kids aren't awake you could just go and then there's times they help me and then it's slower but we'll talk about all that. So I think we're gonna look first at the child
Julia: Yeah.
Emma: and the question we were asking ourselves is First off, what is practical life for the young child? Maybe you're like, yeah, what is practical life? So we loved this definition that practical life refers to the hands-on everyday tasks that teach children how to care for themselves, how to care for their environment, how to have coordination of movements and use grace and courtesy, really with the goal to foster greater independence. coordination of movements, concentration, giving them a sense of belonging in the family. through all of this, they're going to be using real child-sized tools to do work, everyday work, practical life tasks. You know, the name is what it is. It's just the practical things we do in our life each day.
Julia: Yeah. And so I guess another question we asked ourselves was, what is the point of practical life? Why do children even need practical life? And here's an academic term for you, but in Montessori academia, we have a term called self-construct, right? And so we have this idea that we, human beings, self-construct through work of the hand and the mind. And so, The term self-construct essentially means that a human develops through real experiences where we use our hand and we have to think about it, where we use our mind. And
Emma: Mm-hmm.
Julia: so all of these different areas of practical life, care of self, care of the environment, coordination of movement and grace and courtesy, allow us the opportunity to self-construct, especially children. So, and there's that wonderful period, you know, from zero to six. The absorbent mind as Montessori referred to it as where practical life can be very impactful. So let's start with care of self, Emma.
Emma: Love it. It's probably the most practical practical life, you know, because like we just, have to do these things multiple times in the day. And this is a little different than like self-care, care of self. We're helping our children gain dependence for getting dressed, brushing their teeth, hair, anything that, you know, is taking care of themselves. I think we, this was startling to me as a new mom, was like when a baby's born, like, and for their first year of life, they're so dependent, like they're just completely dependent on you. For everything, you have to change their diaper, you have to get them dressed, feed them everything. They can't do much for themselves. But then, like, Fast forward, if you go to like a two year old, it's amazing what they can
Julia: I know.
Emma: do for themselves and what they want. I mean, my boys would be like, no, I do it. I do it. Me do it. You know, they want to do it themselves. And so really quickly, we have to like move from total dependence to almost total independence in certain things within like two to three years. And so I think that's really The importance of practical life is a lens maybe through which we see our homes and all this work and saying, how are we gonna help the children take care of what's theirs to take care of and move them further towards independence?
Julia: Yes, absolutely. And I think you nailed it, that dressing is probably one of the most practical ideas, right? You know, we have to get dressed, we can't walk around in the buff, you know? And so, babies,
Emma: Let's stop for a laugh.
Julia: babies it's a little different, sometimes we're doing that, you know, maybe they don't have a onesie on, or they don't have a shirt on, and they're just in their diaper, but typically, to be a part of society, we wear clothes, right? And so, I love what you said that... it starts, it's a sort of a progression, right? So we start with like everything is done to the child, right? We are addressing the child. And then there's a collaboration stage where we are sort of helping or maybe doing one or two steps, the child's doing the last step, and then eventually we move to independence. And so, you know, that's such a, it's kind of exciting, you know, to be able to think about that. And so, One way I feel like we can really help that develop is, especially with dressing in particular, is the clothing choice of the children. So do you have any suggestions for clothing choice that the children might wear? I have some ideas, but I wanted to hear what yours might be.
Emma: Yeah, I think especially like, I feel like the biggest age is when they're starting to do this themselves. You just want things that are really easy for them to pull up and down. like elastic
Julia: Totally.
Emma: waistbands, not having like the ankles, you know, I feel like at least for boys pants, they're like always cinched at the bottom. Yeah, like, yeah,
Julia: Like the joggers. Yeah.
Emma: like a skinny jean type thing.
Julia: Yeah.
Emma: And it's just hard for them to like get their foot through that. and same like ties if things have to be tied to be secure like them and next week we're going to be talking about toileting like those things are big obstacles to children in being independent both in dressing but then also toileting so I think that's a huge one
Julia: I always think of, try not to do, so I might do onesies when there's an infant. So like everything I'm doing, I'm doing like to the child. Like I'm changing the child, I'm cleaning the child. But once they're independent, I really move away from anything that's a onesie. So no rompers, typically two piece outfits so that A, I can help if I need to, like quickly help change a child or they can do it themselves. Like a child can't, unsnap all those snaps that are like on there and like in the crotch of a pant, you know, so anything that can be pulled down or pushed down. so I tend to stick with two-piece outfits and girls dresses. I feel like are like that a lot. They'll have like a dress and then like a little like, like attached diaper sort of cover thing with snaps.
Emma: Yeah.
Julia: So yeah, I just avoid those anything two pieces. What I tend to go for to allow for independence.
Emma: But with girls, could you do like even a dress and then like elastic shorts, you know, like cotton shorts that are easy to pull up and down, because then it's
Julia: Totally. Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Emma: still pretty much a two piece.
Julia: Yeah. And I even do that with swimwear. We're in summertime right now. And so I don't do one-piece suits or anything. I tend to do two-piece somethings. And one of my favorite companies, which happens to be based here in Kansas, is called SwimZip. And we use their suits all the time. And they have shorts that are a... like appropriately, covering a child appropriately, and then they have a tank or a nice rash guard that's nice and bright.
Emma: Okay, so you like those? I've seen all the SwimZip stuff and I have like not quite made the plunge, you know, but I want to and I love those swim shirts because then you don't have to put sunscreen on them. Like they just live
Julia: Yes. Yes.
Emma: in them in the summer because I don't want to put sunscreen all over there. Yeah.
Julia: Well, highly recommend SwimZip. I use them, I've bought them every year. I also, they have, I found them because they have good bright colors. know, I mean, I feel like that image was floating around the internet of the best colors to wear in the water, right? So you have like neon colors, you know? And they have neon brights. And I just like the sets they have. So I highly recommend them.
Emma: That's great. That's great.
Julia: Yeah, and they're based in Kansas, which is kind of cool. Just like right down the road.
Emma: One of my other favorite like dressing hacks is the coat flip.
Julia: yeah.
Emma: Where in the winter time, dressing in the winter time.
Julia: I know.
Emma: There's a lot of practice for practical life in Minnesota in the winter. There's so many things to put on. But a coat flip is very helpful. So the child like lays the coat out, puts their tag. Okay, I heard this little phrase from the school I worked at. Tag to toes. head like over nose or something like that. So then they the tag they line it up with their toes. They put their arms in it and then they flip it up over their head and then their arms go in and it's on the right way. And it's amazing
Julia: I love it.
Emma: how much satisfaction they get when they put their coat on like all themselves. I just love
Julia: It's so cute.
Emma: it. It also works with like button up shirts will do it like dress shirts,
Julia: yeah.
Emma: anything that's like open in the front. You can kind of do it with.
Julia: Yeah. And then eventually once they've got the coat on, then you can work on whatever the fastener is, know, which is another,
Emma: Yes.
Julia: which we'll talk about here in just a little bit. Yeah. Coat flip is great. What other things might we have to do with dressing? Oh, how we store the clothes so that the children can access them. So for dressing in particular, and I'm going to do shoes here. Is that, it makes sense to me. to have the socks and the shoes by the front door. So recommendation I would say from probably both of us would be to take those socks out of your bedrooms for your kids and put them in a basket by their shoes by the front door. And then you've got socks accessible not only to use the adult when you're still helping them, but also once they're independent, then they know where they are. And then shoes also by the door as well. So that would be one thing where we store them. What about how we store things in the bedroom? You know, like the actual little Montessori wardrobe. What would you say about that?
Emma: Yeah, we used when the boys are really little, I think I got this idea from you actually, or you did it first, because you had babies first. The IKEA Calix shelf, like the hacks.
Julia: the hack. Yeah, yeah.
Emma: So it's like the four cubes. And on one side, you put drawers. And then the other side, you take one of the shelves out and you can put like a tension rod and do hanging. And it was so sweet because they could like grab their little their clothes. Now we've repurposed it. put that shelf back in and now it's like storing. toys and things, but then we've upgraded to a little bit of a bigger space that has a little more hanging. We, but we did like take shelves out and put in hanging rods low so that
Julia: Yes.
Emma: they could access it themselves. And then drawers that, you know, that pull in and out easy would be nice or baskets would work really well too. We've done that in the summer just like one basket with all their play clothes.
Julia: Yeah, I love that. used the IKEA one, so that'll be in the baby's room. And then
Emma: Mm-hmm.
Julia: in one of my children's room, I didn't have an accessible closet, so I did the Sprout wardrobe
Emma: nice.
Julia: from Sprout Kids. And that's a Montessori, I don't know if it's actually officially Montessori company, but they make a lot of. furniture and beds and wardrobes that sort of fit the Montessori idea.
Emma: Yeah, exactly.
Julia: So I've used that. Now in my oldest room, I have, I found some drawers from the container store that I use that are like her perfect height. And then her hanging rod in the actual closet is so high she could never reach it. So I found also this cool thing at the container store where you hang, there's like two hooks essentially. So you've got a hook that goes up onto the top rod and then what hangs down is a low rod. So it makes like a double rod in your closet. And so that's what I did for her because I didn't need to get another wardrobe.
Emma: Totally.
Julia: That's what we did for the wardrobes in the bedrooms. I was also going to mention kind of by the front door, I forgot about this was Having your coat hooks low for coats, jackets, all those things, having them low. then usually I would put like a mirror or something nearby so they could kind of see themselves as they were dressing too. Excuse me.
Emma: Yeah, and it's just as we're talking about this, just like it takes a little bit more time to think through these things. I'm like, OK, what does my child need to be
Julia: Right.
Emma: able to like get themselves dressed by themselves, like independently? But I think in these areas, particular is where we have the most or I've experienced some of the most like power struggles
Julia: now.
Emma: with children, my children, and it helps so much when they can. Like when I can offer them just like you choose it, you can do these things. it takes like the hanging rod is a great example. It's like, well, houses are not designed for young children. We have to like, we have to change it. We have to make it function for the size of our children. And so for them to be independent in this area of dressing, like you're gonna have to. manipulate something and it doesn't have to be expensive like simply having some baskets or something on the floor could be sufficient but i think it's and then also like they could put their clothes away i have this new game where i'll be downstairs i'll fold all the clothes and then i hand him a stack like underwear go and he runs upstairs and puts it away and comes down and gets another stack and it's like been so great
Julia: that's so fun. I'm going to use that.
Emma: because otherwise i mean i don't have them put all their clothes away all the time but Sometimes I do and it's great because they can.
Julia: Yeah, dressing is a big one. Initially, the parents have the responsibility to set up the space to observe, right? Which we've talked about, like, what does that look like observing without judgment? You know, we're kind of just seeing what works and what functions. And then we're implementing whatever we've decided. But it also alleviates some responsibility of when it is time to go. So you can give them that, okay, we're going to leave in 10 minutes. maybe you've set like a visual timer or something, say in that 10 minutes, I need you to get your shoes on. I need you to get your coat on, by the time this timer is done. And then that gives you 10 minutes where you're not having to help your child. And then you can finish whatever you need to do to get ready. Now.
Emma: Mm-hmm.
Julia: It's different, for example, my five-year-old can do that a lot easier than my three-year-old. So my three-year-old still needs that collaboration. My five-year-old can pretty much do it independently. And that's where you have to kind of observe as your children age and they get older, like my three-year-old still needs assistance with certain things. she, yeah.
Emma: But they're going to and that's what so like when we look at practical life, I sometimes think we think of it as like black and white, like, okay, baby can't do anything. Five, five or six year old should be able to do all these things. And then we like forget about the middle ground of like, well, how do we get a child from baby can't do anything independently to that independent stage. And it's through collaboration with us and Like, okay, I'll do part of it or just like just enough, you know, just getting it so that they can be successful like socks. Sometimes it's just like just getting it on their toe, you know, like just getting it on their toes
Julia: Gotta get him over the toesies. Yeah.
Emma: and then let them pull the rest up.
Julia: I feel like that also works, and we're about to just talk about this, is like the actual fastener of something. I do this often with the coat. So the child will do the coat flip, right? We help the child lay out the coat for the coat flip. They do the coat flip, but they still maybe have not mastered the zipper yet. So the adult might just do the hardest part, getting the two ends together and then handing the child the little pull, and then they pull it up. So that offers them... the assistance they need, then also makes them feel successful. And that just like gives them so much pride,
Emma: I've learned letting them like, my boys will be like, no, I can do it. I know you can't actually,
Julia: Yes you can!
Emma: but I'm to let you try because I just have to let you try. And then just like, let me know if you need help.
Julia: Yeah.
Emma: Like I say that a lot, like, okay, let me know if you need any help. And then usually they struggle. It's like, okay, I'll help
Julia: you
Emma: you now. But they, there's this like willingness to try, which is so beautiful that they like, you know, throw themselves into things they don't know how to do so willingly. I I'm as free in that as an adult. Like, I don't know how to do it. I think I'll avoid that because I don't know what to do.
Julia: which is exactly what we want. Yeah, and that's exactly what we want our children to. We want them to be willing to try new things, to have new experiences. And it's definitely a choose your battles kind of thing sometimes. So speaking of fasteners, there is a type of material we have in mainly the primary. I don't think I ever used, did you ever use dressing frames in the elementary?
Emma: No, no I didn't.
Julia: No. So most of the time children will have experiences with a material called a dressing frame. And it's usually a square. And there are two pieces of fabric attached to these square frame. And then there's some type of fastener that puts those two pieces of fabric together. And so fasteners can vary from buttons. zippers, buckles, hook and eye, what else? ties. Gosh, there's so many snaps.
Emma: Yeah, ties even. I think they do like a shoelace one. Stamps is a big one.
Julia: What's the buckle that doesn't have, I can't think of what it's called. It's not a true buckle, but there's usually two rings and they have to slip the fabric. What is that called? Yes, I can't think of what that's called.
Emma: I know. Like they're often on aprons. I don't remember what it's called either.
Julia: That's one. they similar to how much of the Montessori materials are, they progress. So a toddler dressing frame might only have three buttons, for example, and the buttons are really big so that a toddler's small hands can manipulate them through the slit in the fabric. And then as they get older, the buttons will be for a primary age child. So let's say, I don't know, four or five, six-ish. you might have smaller buttons and there's more of them. So there's like six buttons on the frame. A zipper one I've seen with the toddler dressing frame, the zipper has a big loop. Like you have the actual like pull and there's usually a big loop on the end to help them pull it up or pull it down. And that doesn't usually exist on the older dressing frame.
Emma: And it makes me think like, obviously, people were not going to say you should go get dressing frames for your home.
Julia: Right.
Emma: But what's interesting is when a child is learning those fasteners, they're doing it like in front of them, you know, at
Julia: Yes.
Emma: a table. And when we're getting dressed, we're like doing them on ourselves, which is much more difficult. And so kind of that like support
Julia: you
Emma: could be in a calm moment while you're sitting somewhere. have your like show them how these fasteners work outside of actually getting dressed
Julia: Right.
Emma: so that they could practice before they actually need the skill. Exactly.
Julia: It's the isolation of the skill.
Emma: Which is kind of what we do with tying shoes too. You know, it'll be, it could be a frustrating experience if you're like trying to rush out the door and then teach your kid how to tie shoes. So.
Julia: And if you didn't want to purchase a dressing frame, which there's plenty of dressing frames online that you can buy, you could also just get the piece of clothing and have it off the child and put the coat
Emma: Exactly.
Julia: in front of them and practice that way. Now, what you get with a dressing frame is you get just the fastener on there. So you don't have the sleeve, you know, you don't have all the extra stuff. that might get in the way of them actually practicing the skill. So
Emma: Mm.
Julia: that's the pro of having a dressing frame or something where the fastener is isolated, but getting the shirt, getting the zipper on the jacket and putting it in front of you, but having a shoe in front of you with ties, you can practice it that way as well. yeah, my oldest and I are working on tying shoes right now. It's going well. She gets very excited when she makes a knot. She's like runs around. I've made a knot, And then the
Emma: So exciting.
Julia: three-year-old will be like, I made a knot too! And she did not make a knot. It's her enthusiasm. Yes, yes, you're getting there.
Emma: You did it.
Julia: you're yooey.
Emma: Well, moving a little bit off of dressing into another form of practical life is just food prep. And we're not going
Julia: Mm-hmm.
Emma: to go long on this just because we spent three whole episodes talking all about the kitchen and different things. if you want more ideas of how to offer practical life activities and things in regards to preparing food, you know, be sure to go back and listen to those first three episodes. But a few really good things, just measuring things out, eating in and of itself is a very practical life skill for a young child learning how to
Julia: Yep. Yes.
Emma: use different utensils and cups and everything. helping prepare food, chopping things up is all great.
Julia: Yes. Another practical life thing that we are going to talk about in our next episode is toileting and hand washing. So that's another care of self that
Emma: Mm-hmm.
Julia: is so important that we know how to toilet, right? Go to the restroom. And so we'll talk about that in our next episode. But that is another care of self, practical life exercise that we have lots to talk on.
Emma: Yeah, yeah, we thought it was such a big important one that we'd give it its own episode. So.
Julia: yeah, for sure. Should we go to coordination and movement?
Emma: Yes, let's do it.
Julia: Okay, so coordination and movement in the practical life area for the child would be how a child's body lives in their space. where is it in space? And I love what you're gonna talk about here, force modulation. Tell us more about that and what that means.
Emma: I I came across this phrase when I was in the classroom because you encounter when you have 30 students like you're like, wow, there's a lot of movement and things and you have to like navigate all these small people's movements of their body or lack thereof like lack of coordination. Anyway,
Julia: Yeah.
Emma: first a story I remember this time I had a student who was like. His body was like on top of a low table like a chow-kee and I just remember being like, you know, let's put our body on the floor. I don't remember what I said exactly, but it was like he wasn't actually aware that his body was on top of this little table. was like he needed activities that connected his body to space, if that made sense. Like it was not
Julia: Interesting. Yeah.
Emma: a very connected point. for him. And that's where like practical life was
Julia: you
Emma: super helpful for that child because it like grounded him in something clearly. But one of the other concepts I heard of was force modulation. And it is if you imagine everything you do in a day, like from cracking an egg to, you know, carrying your laundry up the stairs, like we this all requires different levels of effort and force. do and the amount of force that we use to you know carry something heavy up the stairs is not the amount of force that we want to use when we're cracking an egg and our children need to learn this skill too because it's you learn it through experience right and you learn it through things you know spilling or breaking because you used too much force or maybe it didn't go far like you threw a ball but it didn't go very far like maybe you didn't use enough force so it's just an interesting thing to keep in mind when we're
Julia: Yeah.
Emma: when we're looking at like a variety of practical life because I think sometimes we think of practical life as like the little itty-bitty things when actually it's like such a wide range and our children need those little fine motor things like dressing and fasteners but they also need like gross motor big
Julia: Totally.
Emma: movements, heavy work, pushing in chairs, helping you move the furniture, anything that you're doing that's big that you can invite them into. love to do like every morning I have to move my coffee table out of the way to get my to do my workout. And then I just always will be like, hey, help me move this table back, And that's a great just extra little thing for them to do.
Julia: yeah. So when we think about coordination movement, we also think about that it requires concentration, right? So it's really work for the mind. They have to think about how much force they need or how much effort they need. So while we're on the gross motor idea, other gross motor activities that you can do to aid with coordination and movement would be rolling or pulling something, pulling to stand, crawling, all of these different things, walking. There's the walking the line activity that you'll see in many primary classrooms where there's just a taped out circle or oval around the room and the child has to concentrate to walk on the line quietly and like one foot. Yes.
Emma: and like one foot in front of the other, like really like strict, it's not like speed walking, you know, it's like a very centering type activity for them that requires
Julia: Yes. Yeah.
Emma: like, requires their concentration. I when my boys help set the table, that just carrying things back and forth, or
Julia: yeah.
Emma: if they're like getting work out, we don't do like a ton of this at home, but when they're in the atrium, they'll have that where they have to like, go get a tray with their work, bring it to the work spot. straight back, all of this movement is really intentional.
Julia: For a hack that I always use, it's not really a hack, but just I remember a primary teacher telling me this, that when a child is carrying anything, one point of reference you can always have is to have them carry it at their belly button.
Emma: Mm.
Julia: So when they're carrying something with two hands, whether it's a chair, know, they're like the chairs at their belly button or trays at their belly button, and typically with two hands. A great example, my child, had them go get me a plate and she picked it up out of the... out of our little kitchenette with one hand and what do you think happened? It broke. So then we just reviewed after we cleaned it up, we reviewed. Okay, when we take it out, we use two hands and we hold it at a belly button. So it sometimes just needs a gentle reminder of like what to do, but that is a really great point of reference, especially for the little children.
Emma: I love that.
Julia: Yeah, I love that one too. We do a lot of washing tables and. Probably more, actually, instead of washing tables, we'd do probably more washing the windows. That's a good one with a spray bottle and a squeegee. yeah,
Emma: Mm-hmm. Sweeping. Mm-hmm.
Julia: sweeping. What else? vacuuming.
Emma: vacuuming even. My boys love like together the two of them will try to like push our big vacuum and do it. One day I just like
Julia: I love it.
Emma: let it go. I was like you know what you'll probably spend the next 15 minutes trying to vacuum this rug. Like go for it. I'm gonna let it happen.
Julia: Ha ha ha.
Emma: I did.
Julia: I love that. And that's teamwork. That's like working together. I mean, that's its own skill in and of itself. Sharing
Emma: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Julia: the space with somebody, trying to coordinate your movement to share a space. That's great. So those are some gross motor exercises that you can think about in your own home for coordination and movement. Let's talk about fine motor. So
Emma: that way.
Julia: we already talked about dressing and all of the different dressing frames with the fasteners. What else do we have Emma?
Emma: like pouring, like pouring from a pitcher. You could have this, you know, water play outside is a really good
Julia: Yeah.
Emma: like neutral way to do this, but you could also offer a pitcher for them to like pour the milk on their cereal or something like that. Same scooping. You could get this out in the sandbox or you could get it helping bake banana bread. my boys love stickers and that's like such a great travel activity stickers. If
Julia: Yes.
Emma: you're in a car on a plane. stickers, but the hack is to actually take like the backing off. You know, when you get a page of stickers, if you take like the white part off,
Julia: yeah.
Emma: then you're just left with just the stickers and then they can peel them off by themselves because they don't have to like get under it exactly
Julia: like bend the page to, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Emma: so that I'll do that. And then sometimes I'll just like cut them into like quarters so that there's like a smaller amount and putting like Yeah, picking and putting stickers on. My boys would do that for... they loved that.
Julia: Well, should see there's some highlights make some
Emma: Thank
Julia: sticker books. instead of, you you remember highlights, you know, we have to like the seek and
Emma: Yes, yes.
Julia: find. Well, now they have sticker version. So like they'll have a page of different things you want to find, and then they have the items you want to find, and then they have matching stickers. So once you find it, put the sticker on that item. Melissa and
Emma: I love that.
Julia: Doug also make one like that too.
Emma: Yeah, I think the boys are probably ready for that now. I feel like before they would maybe not put it in the right spot, but yeah, I love them.
Julia: Yeah. They'd just probably play with stickers. Yeah. Just play in general, feel like is good for fine motor. Legos, any type of open play, building material, legos, magnetiles, magnetic cubes, blocks. Yeah.
Emma: We've and we love, I grew up with Playmobil. I was, got, I got you onto Playmobil, but like a couple of
Julia: yeah. You did. You did.
Emma: weeks ago, I had to put it all away cause they like just were dumping the bucket out every day. And I was like, I can't, if you're not going to like pick this up, you just can't have all of this. But then I
Julia: Totally. Yep.
Emma: like reintroduced it and they have been like obsessed and it's so, I think it's perfect. Well, depending on how much like fine motor they've done. like three, my boys got it for their third birthday. And they can do, they can manipulate the pieces and put the hats on and the little gloves on the hand. Like it's, there's a lot of little pieces. So if that's not your jam, like don't get, don't get playmobil. Don't
Julia: Don't kid Playmobil.
Emma: get playmobil. There are like a ridiculous amount of small pieces, but it's so well designed. Like the little fruits, like there's a tiny little banana that like
Julia: I know.
Emma: fits in the guy's hand. It's just amazing. It's my boys just love it. So.
Julia: You have to tell us how you store those little bits because for those who
Emma: Okay.
Julia: want to get Playmobil, what do you do?
Emma: Well, I had just been doing bins. loved those, is it Sterilite? Like those three tiered drawers. Yeah,
Julia: those like individual drawers, yes.
Emma: I would put little pieces in there and some that you also could just like take the little pieces out and not have all
Julia: Yeah.
Emma: of that. I just got a new toy organizer shelf. I haven't even told you this. I got it yesterday. I finished putting it together from Piccolio and it's
Julia: yeah.
Emma: like a toy organizer and the... The shelves are like angled. I'll see if I can like pop a picture in here. They're like angled down. So it almost looks like a grocery store where you'd like have the produce. It's so pretty. And I put their Playmobil in there and I love it because like the bucket is like the shelf. You know what I mean? They can't like dump it and they're probably not going to like go in there and like pull it all
Julia: That's That's so nice.
Emma: out. And I really like that for that. And I put Sam our musical instruments every day, the whole bucket dumped out. Like,
Julia: I had to get rid of mine. I couldn't do it. I was at the point.
Emma: Just cause they were looking for one thing. I know I'm a, I'm at the verge.
Julia: I bring out like them one at a time. I'm like, okay,
Emma: And I...
Julia: here's the drum. Otherwise, bye. I couldn't do it. Just so much banging. It's just so much banging. We're like, gosh, yes.
Emma: My voice love Winnie the Pooh and you know how Christopher Robin has like the drum that he does? So they made me put my belt on the tambourine and so they'll walk. They do parades all the time through the house so I do like they use the instruments all the time but they'll be the whistle guy one will have like the recorder and then the other one's got the tambourine. We don't actually have a drum. I should get them a drum maybe.
Julia: The recorder is the one that I really had to give it up because they would just like, like incessantly and I just, couldn't anymore. It was my recorder from third grade that I
Emma: Yeah.
Julia: happened to have, which is kind of like nostalgic to watch them use it, but I was, no.
Emma: Yeah, that's an instrument that I think we could have gone without. We've been invented by people. Anyway.
Julia: well, it's still good to offer instruments. We're not saying don't do it. Just do it at your own risk. Yes.
Emma: Yeah, yeah. Know what you can handle and what you can't.
Julia: If Playmobil is not your thing or there's too many small parts, Duplos are great too. There's so many Duplo sets, which are like the chunky Legos, you know? That's usually what I always give for a first birthday. It was like a set of Duplos. And... Those are great. And they do have sets that do have little things that can attach to the people or the animals that they have on the set. what we were talking about fine motor skills. So any type of play. So attaching those little things to somebody or a figurine is a great. What other things do we have? We talked blocks. Any type of like doll or like any type of play, you know, like that they might be in a dollhouse.
Emma: Even even like baby dolls, like getting baby
Julia: yeah.
Emma: dolls dressed. That's like a really I've heard that can be like a fun point of interest. Like I wonder if your girls like practicing on a baby doll, putting a diaper on in preparation for the baby being born, you know, like
Julia: Hey, that's a good idea.
Emma: just having a small basket of like literally if you were to go get like preemie diapers, probably those would probably fit a baby doll. I used I had cloth newborn diapers, so I offer that. My boys love doing that, putting baby dog. Yeah.
Julia: That's a good idea. Usually the baby dolls are just naked, they just take off the clothes. But maybe we should start practicing that. That's a good idea. Add that to
Emma: Yeah.
Julia: the rotation. All of those activities, another thing would be pincer grasp, which is a prerequisite to writing. So that pincer grasp, yes, exactly.
Emma: It's like using your three fingers.
Julia: My other thing for scooping and pouring are the big lima beans. Those are really good. Not the tiny ones, because they will get put in the mouth or the nose. Just the big fat lima beans.
Emma: I like that I
Julia: We use those a lot. We use them. We don't really use them anymore. And if
Emma: I love them.
Julia: they get abused and they're just dumping them, then just take them out. you know, just there's no
Emma: Please just take them.
Julia: reintroducing them again. And take them away and say, we're going to try again tomorrow. Put it back up.
Emma: Yep.
Julia: And that's kind of what we had our sort of conclusion for the child, was change it when it's not working. So.
Emma: It's not working. Yeah, like you're in control, like the Playmobil thing. I just was like, I can't do this right now. I
Julia: Yeah.
Emma: can't keep, man, I can't keep picking this thing, this up. And I don't actually have a solution for it right now. So we're going to wait until I can think through how we can do this better. And I just,
Julia: Yeah.
Emma: you know, tend to just take it out for a little bit and it was fine. They found other things to do. So you have permission to change it if it's not working. All well, we should probably change to the next segment. okay.
Julia: my gosh. We could talk about this all day. Okay, the environment, Emma. Let's do it.
Emma: We'll go try not to be redundant. But how do we set up our home environment? How do we prepare spaces for our child to care for themselves with greater independence?
Julia: Yep. So in a home, children typically will imitate the adult's work. So that's why,
Emma: Mm-hmm.
Julia: you know, if they've seen you vacuuming or if they've seen you sweeping, having a child-sized broom or vacuum nearby allows them to say, and this is just through observation, this isn't even through teaching, they might just go and pick it up and move it back and forth, you know, pushing it, you know, may not even be sweeping anything, but like that is their imitation of your work. And so... that observation helps them develop particular skills.
Emma: I have a funny example of this because my, love to like freshen spaces up, know, rearrange things, put, like I'll just swap pictures out throughout my home. sometimes I'll go into my son's room after quiet time and like, he has like a little gallery wall of these animal prints and then he has some other
Julia: cute
Emma: things on the wall. And sometimes he'll like have moved one. from the gallery wall to a different spot and put something else in its place. Like he's like
Julia: my gosh.
Emma: rearranging the artwork on his walls. And I'm just like, I do that. Like you've seen
Julia: Wow, I must do this a lot.
Emma: me do that. It's so funny when you see them do it and they don't do it quite like you would do it. It was so sweet.
Julia: That is sweet. And we kind of touched on this just a little bit already. It was hard not to, but there are, we, I would say we probably have hundreds, maybe not hundreds, but quite a few systems in our house, in our houses, respective houses that allow us to practice practical life, you know, easily.
Emma: Yep.
Julia: You want to do arranging flowers? I don't do that as much anymore, but.
Emma: Yes, we do it more now in the summer. I have some fresh cut flowers and I just simply keep like some little bud vases on hand that like you'd have like two or three stems in it that are really little. And then you can set this up on like sometimes I'll just bring like a tray outside and a pair of scissors. If they're like new to cutting, there's these good like loop scissors. Have you seen these where you would just like squeeze
Julia: No, no,
Emma: them?
Julia: that's cool.
Emma: see if I can link them, they don't have to put their fingers anywhere, it just squeezes. So cutting the stem, placing it in the water, kind of showing them how to measure how much to cut off up to the thing. It's a good one. mean, if you do a lot of that in your home, obviously you could make it something that's independent. It is in a Montessori classroom, but I think it's just a fun experience to even do with your child.
Julia: Yeah, you know the flower arranging making them look attractive, you know, it's so fun.
Emma: And, and I just would have the boys be like, go pick a spot where you want to put this in the house. And it's cute where they'll think of where to put it. Like when my
Julia: Yeah.
Emma: sons brought it up to his room and like put it on his nightstand.
Julia: Aww.
Emma: And then they were like, put it in the bathroom on the sink, you know, and it's just sweet. And I think in the classroom, they'd put it like at their snack table. We would, when we were setting,
Julia: Yep.
Emma: setting the table in the classroom for lunch, we would put, that was part of their like prep was to bring. a bouquet of flowers to each table if we have them done.
Julia: Yeah, yeah, we, I feel like flower arranging is so common in the elementary environment. I mean, I know it's common in the primary too, but there are always flowers on our table, leaves everywhere. And then you just
Emma: Mm-hmm.
Julia: say, there's some leaves on the ground. it's been a while. Makes me feel nostalgic about being in the classroom again. Sometimes
Emma: I know, it's nothing.
Julia: I think it would be fun to go back in the classroom now that I have children because I think my perspective would be very different. But anyway.
Emma: I think so.
Julia: Let's stay on track here. Arranging flowers is a great practical life activity. We've kind of touched on sweeping, dusting, vacuuming. One thing in particular for sweeping is making a pile is a harder concept for children to imagine. Like we can just make a pile and remember where it is and go back to it. But for a child, there are a few different devices. There's actually like a sweeping sort of like mold that you can sweep into. It's a little wooden thing that goes on the ground, but that's something you have to purchase. a better option would even be just taping a square onto the ground, you know, with painter's tape. And that's where the children sweep into. And that's where they sweep it up with their, you know, their hand room. Dusting, dusting mitts, a Swiffer duster. Those are great practical life activities. And a mini vacuum would be some of the sweeping, dusting, vacuuming things, I would say.
Emma: Yeah, we talked about just keeping socks near the your shoes at your like entryway wherever you put your shoes on.
Julia: Yeah.
Emma: Low hooks, baskets, just things that make it accessible. I love having a mirror either. We have one
Julia: Yes, same.
Emma: both in their bedroom, but then also in the entryway, I just hung like a low mirror so that you can just find out like, it looks I can I can see some boogers on your nose. You want to go wipe your nose. And then there's some tissues right there. You know, it's just like
Julia: Yeah.
Emma: thinking through what things they might have to do to care for themselves.
Julia: Yeah, that's a good one is pointing out something that, you know, they may not have, they may have washed their hands, but they might have forgotten to wash their face. you've got, you have something on your face. Can you go find it and get it? You know, kind of making
Emma: Mm-hmm.
Julia: it like a game. That's a really good one. That's why the mirror is nice to have by where you exit because they can always check themselves just like we do as adults. Don't we check to see how we look before we leave the house? Children want to do the same, you know.
Emma: Yeah. And then another practical life thing that I feel like is maybe for an older child and also may be based on just who you are as person if you do this, but sewing. You could like if a button falls off sewing it back on. We did a lot of hand work in our classroom every afternoon. And that was so good for the children. Like so much concentration. Like if your child has difficulty concentrating, maybe find some handwork like lacing or just like embroidery, cross stitch.
Julia: Lacing, feel like, would be really more for like a primary environment and the elementary
Emma: Yeah.
Julia: environment, which we both taught so much like little embroidery work or making little books or knitting, crocheting, finger knitting. Those are all examples of what we call handwork.
Emma: Yep, exactly.
Julia: What else might be like handwork? And I always found handwork to be much more accessible to the older child. Like they just had the concentration and the desire to do it too. whereas the lacing is probably more.
Emma: They also have like the baseline skills because you need to be able to like tie a knot and thread
Julia: Yes. Yeah.
Emma: a needle and different things that those skills you're you're still teaching in the yeah.
Julia: You're still teaching in the primary. Washing tables, windows, we talked about that as well. You can have wipes nearby. You know, can have a spray bottle with whatever you want to spray your tables with. And of course, a spray bottle for washing windows with
Emma: Yep.
Julia: little squeegee and then having a cloth to get all the extra drips.
Emma: Mm-hmm.
Julia: Those are great practical life activities, Yeah.
Emma: I love it. All right, should we move on to the third, the third main
Julia: Yes.
Emma: thing, the adult.
Julia: Yes. So here where we were asking ourselves were how do we collaborate with our children and our practical life tasks? You know, like how do we support our child's progression from dependence to independence in their practical life tasks? And then where is that middle ground where we offer collaboration and, you know, support where we need it? So I think collaboration is one of those things that People think, okay, well, I've already showed them this, so they should be able to do it. And that's just, that's not practical. You will have to show them multiple times, whether that's on themselves, whether that's with a dressing frame. I'm thinking of dressing skills here, whether that is you're dressing yourself and you're just showing them that. But involving them in our work throughout the day, you know, allows them to practice those skills with you, which is important, you know?
Emma: Yeah. And I think it like, especially in our homes, it's like, we are a family here. Like families
Julia: Yes.
Emma: work together. Like we work together. And I think this goes both ways. Like we work together with our children and our children work together with us and we help one another. And I think also collaboration can look like just like starting it and then they go. And maybe it's not, go clean your room. It's like, get them started and then slowly like move. out from being so involved. But sometimes the hardest thing is just getting started. I mean, I know that, right? Usually it's not even the thing that's hard. It's just starting the thing. And once I get started, then
Julia: Totally.
Emma: you're going and that's probably our children too. So they might just need that help getting getting going. And we've talked
Julia: Yes.
Emma: a lot about that of just, sorry, what were you going to say?
Julia: Well, to kind of piggyback off what you said that the collaborations like if they're having if you've said to your child, hey, you need to go clean your room and that's not working, you know, often that's not working. They're like, why would I go clean my room? That's not what I want to do right now, you know. Collaboration by saying, let's go up there together. I need to put some clothes away and you can tidy up this on the floor. We'll be in the same room together. That kind of offers buy-in, right? So, you know, like working together as a team, as a family. think like being together is what your children want. They want to be with you. So how can you get your tasks done, but also collaborate with them and work together? And that also offers you a chance, especially like for my older child who's in like the collecting stage, like all the little things, things that I would throw away. really important for her. When we
Emma: that scrap of paper. Piece of string. Remember students being like, no, don't throw it. Like, it's a piece of string. It's a piece of string.
Julia: it's just, it drives me nuts. Or like a rock. I mean, it'll be something like, it looks like every other rock, but that rock is so important. And so when we collaborate together is when I can say, hey, you know, this has been sitting on your shelf and I've never seen you work with it or play with it. Is this something that you want to keep or is this something that we can put back out in the environment? Can we recycle it? Can we throw it away? And that gives me a chance to like let them tell me why it's important to them so I don't just like throw it away randomly. So that collaboration gives you an opportunity to also see what's important for your child. You know, like why is that rock important? Because it doesn't make sense to me, but it makes sense to them.
Emma: Which I think that's a good point. makes me think of in the classroom where we do like individual meetings with our students to like keep
Julia: Yes, yeah.
Emma: up on like just where are they at with their work or, you know, and sometimes you just needed to like refresh, you know, just be like, you know, we're just going to start clean and just take those things home and clean slate. Or, you know what, you started five things. Like what are you going to work on and finish?
Julia: Yeah.
Emma: And I think our children need help like thinking. through that, if that makes sense, right? Like,
Julia: Absolutely.
Emma: just like you did with the rock and we can, it's through working together to come up with the system. It's like, wow, I notice you just have little things all over the house. Like, let's find a space for that. What do you, you have something cool that you use for all their little treasures, right? Like.
Julia: yeah, found those, it's the printer trays.
Emma: Alright.
Julia: They're old printer trays that would be like in a printing press that would hold the letter blocks and they've become quite a collector item but you can mount them on the wall. And so then you have, you know, this upright printer tray that has small little compartments in it. like if you have a little treasure that you need to keep, that's where we can put it. Or they now have, bulletin boards in their rooms. And so when my oldest will do art, she'll want to hang it up. And so the other day she did like this huge thing of art. We went to go hang it up and her entire bulletin board was full of art already. And I said, oh no, there's no space. We need to go through the art that's on here and you can tell me what we can recycle or anything you really want to keep. Because if you want to hang this one up, then we need to make space. But that means we also need to get rid of things, you know, or, you know, I say get rid of things, but. And that's what we did. So it's just,
Emma: Love it.
Julia: it's so true. I didn't even think about it as like our own individual meetings we would have with our elementary kids. It's exactly like that. You know, it's a good check-in for you.
Emma: And that's where like if there's resistance for an older child, like go clean your room and it's thumbs up. Go clean your room. like that's daunting because it probably is really daunting. Like they
Julia: It is.
Emma: probably don't know where to start and they need your help to like get going and learn. Like those were, that's a skill to know how to like put something back to order, especially if it's, wow, so many thumbs up going.
Julia: This is good stuff.
Emma: Yeah, good stuff. So anyways, yeah, I think just... being with them on all that learning.
Julia: Yeah.
Emma: Because those like that's practical life for an older child. It's going to look very different. Like maybe they're not pouring beans anymore. They're not pouring. That's that's
Julia: Yeah.
Emma: mastered. Like now it's like real life practice, like learning how to clean something or organize something or we're going to get to that point where it's like, no, this is how you scrub a toilet.
Julia: No.
Emma: Like, like someday I'm going to like that'll be practical life. It's not going to be like a little activity on the tray. It's just like, this has to get done. and we're a family, this is what we do to like do it.
Julia: gonna yep.
Emma: My children are out there now, right now they would love to scrub the toilet if I let them, but I don't.
Julia: I found my oldest cleaning the plunger that sits in their bathroom. And I was like, wait, wait, no, no. And she had, you know, I have disinfectant wipes up there. I was like, what are you doing? She goes, well, I'm just cleaning this. And I go, well, thank you, but we don't need to clean it right now. It was just, I was like, oh, no, no, no, no, no. Go wash your hands. Although I don't
Emma: I know. I know.
Julia: even know when that thing was used last, but you know, it was just
Emma: So.
Julia: funny. It's one of- we were gifted it. It's like a- it's like an emoji plunger, you know, the poop emoji plunger. Don't ask. I was like,
Emma: Oh my gosh.
Julia: I don't know what to do with this thing. I feel bad giving it away, so it's up in my kid's bathroom, which is perfect! But it's just- it's
Emma: Perfect! That's funny.
Julia: just, it's- it's body humor. Literally.
Emma: Mm-hmm. Seriously.
Julia: but, anything- anyway. Okay, I also think that especially as they get, even when they're three, you can say, do you need help with this or do you not? And you can just kind of be nearby and if they need help, they can tell you. If they don't, well, then they don't.
Emma: One thing I've learned to never help a toddler peel a banana. Do you have you ever done that where you like open it peel it and then like, no, I wanted to do it. It's just like, no, why did I do that? my gosh.
Julia: I'm sure. And then you have to open another banana and you're like, well, what do I do with this banana?
Emma: It's just like my mom brain. just sometimes like forget the like, yeah, me play dough and I like squish it. Sorry.
Julia: Yeah, no, I know. Well, I actually think that's quite funny And then of course the same phrase that we've used before is any help that is not necessary is a hindrance And that's why you might ask the question Do you need help? Because
Emma: Mm-hmm.
Julia: they might be like no, I don't know even if they do that's why you're nearby and that's when you can say what you said earlier Emma You'll say well if you need help. I'm here or you said something. Let me know like let
Emma: Let me know.
Julia: me know if you need help. I'm right here to help you, you know
Emma: And I think this
Julia: And then.
Emma: begs the question too, your child is nonverbal, like I remember my
Julia: Mmm.
Emma: boys would just, they needed help and they would just scream or yell or whine,
Julia: Yeah.
Emma: you know? And I just remember so often having to give language, like,
Julia: Yes.
Emma: I need help, mom, need help. And like kind of telling them what it sounds like you need help.
Julia: Yeah.
Emma: And yeah. I don't know how that fits in, it does.
Julia: No, I know exactly what you mean. You might have to say, you can say, I need help. Or it sounds like you need help. if they don't know the language, how are they going to know how to ask for it? So you kind
Emma: Exactly. You're just...
Julia: of do have to tell them and show them what to do.
Emma: This is new. haven't really talked much about grace and courtesy,
Julia: yeah.
Emma: but it's something that we definitely did a lot of in the classroom. And it's simply just like teaching, teaching grace and courtesy, like politeness, kind of, but more like skills and things you need to know to live well in the world. So
Julia: Yeah.
Emma: how to introduce yourself. So if you have company coming over and they don't know your children's names, maybe just role playing with them like, Hi, my name is this. it's nice to meet you, something like that, showing them how to shake a hand, showing them how to blow their nose, how to open a door for someone, how to observe another child playing, how to like walk around someone else's play area or
Julia: Yeah.
Emma: someone else's work rather than like through it.
Julia: stomping through it.
Emma: And for ideally like these things are taught kind of in isolation, like you would it necessarily show it in the heat of the moment if it's like a frustrating moment. And you can use a sense of humor with older children, which is super
Julia: yeah.
Emma: fun. like we would in the classroom, like you'd see kids, you know, walk over mats or something. And so you'd like role play this like funny version of it that's totally obnoxious. And then you do like the serious like the right way to do it. And it's helpful for them to see these. kind of extremes and then they can see like, yeah, okay, I should do it that way.
Julia: Yeah, definitely. Yeah, it's, it, I mean, the primary age child is so fun, but when you get to the elementary age kid, which is around six to 12, then you, you can just have, it's just so, they're just so different, you know? I just love
Emma: They're so fun.
Julia: them so much. yeah, no, those are all great. I, saying hello, going to a birthday party is We've just been having so many birthday parties we've been going to. So how do you thank the hosts? How do you wish a happy birthday? How do you give a gift? How do you receive a gift? we had, they received a gift that I had already purchased for them. And they were like, hey, we already have this. So like, how do you handle situations like that? Which, it's okay. It wasn't a horrible situation. I noticed from their grandmother, but I'd already bought it for them already. it's just like. those little grace and courtesies, you know, those are things you have to teach. They're just your social graces. And it's also, and I feel like it also varies by culture too, right? So certain cultures will do certain things that maybe we don't do. And if you're visiting or you're going to a household where they are from a different culture, then, you know, not being afraid to ask, like, what's the right thing to do, you know, in those situations. Yeah. Yeah.
Emma: Yeah, totally. Yeah. I think I had a thought and I lost a thought but I'll go on to my next thought. think
Julia: Okay, it'll come back to you.
Emma: practical life like all these things we're talking about they're a natural part of our day. They're things we have that maybe we don't do them every day but you know throughout the week, the month we're doing these things and yet I think so often our society thinks work is a negative thing like we hear the word work.
Julia: you
Emma: And we think like, have to go to work. Even like the radio kind of drives me crazy. Sometimes I turn it on and it's Monday and they're like, it's only five days till Friday. Like, man, are we literally just living for the weekend and we don't like value our work and find joy in it. And I know that like work can be hard and laborious and not always the most fun, but. I think especially in our homes when we're doing these things, we have to check our own attitude towards it and like, how are we doing these things? Because if I moan and groan every time I've done load the dishwasher, if I'm going to ask my children to do that with me, or someday they'll be doing it themselves, like what is their response to that going to be because these things are just part of our life that we have to do. And work is so good. And I think that's what I love. so much about Montessori is everything is work. know, like anything
Julia: Yeah.
Emma: the child is doing is their work. And that's such a good thing. And they have to work. Like even play is work for them. You know, like those things are kind of synonymous. And yeah, I think I don't know where it is in like childhood that that like shifts. But my guess is it's probably an adult imposed judgment rather than like something that the child would develop themselves. Like somehow we've made it feel like, this isn't fun, this is work,
Julia: we've made them feel like. Yeah. Yeah.
Emma: this is yucky, I don't want to do this, that's like too hard. And so I'm just very aware of that, of like especially now because my kids do love to do it, like trying to... I know they won't always love to help me with those things, but how do we...
Julia: There was, we've been having our World Cup moment here in
Emma: Mm.
Julia: the United States and I hope I do not screw up his name, but it's Holland. He's the Norwegian player and he's really good. Anyway, there was a video of him doing, and this is all about attitude, and there's a video of him. exercising and he's being interviewed and he goes he starts off he says do I want to be doing this right now no I really don't but do I know that it's good for me yes do I know that I'll feel better after I do this yes so am I gonna do it yes and and the idea of this was that you know sometimes we do things that are not very fun I still like unloading the dishwasher like you know it's just like one more task you got to do but when it's done or when you've accomplished it, then your house might look more beautiful or you can now, now you can do what you want to do. For example, I had to unload the dishwasher this morning and my oldest really wanted to cook eggs and she does not like eggs. She won't eat eggs, but for some reason she's this invitation for her to make eggs has now made her want to eat eggs and the pride she feels with serving the eggs she's made in the morning to everybody at the table. Like, you know, that is her work. mean, part of the joy of work is the feeling we get afterwards. Maybe it's cooking for somebody, maybe it's cleaning for somebody, maybe it's, I don't know. I mean, we could go on and on with examples, but attitude is important. And the way we show our attitude, you know, is important too. So.
Emma: And, and I think, like when you said that it made me think so often we help when we don't need to help, right? Like we
Julia: Right.
Emma: like step in like, I'll put your sock on. We're like, when we do something hard, you do feel like a satisfaction. And I don't know where I read this or heard this, but it was kind of that like, don't like rob your child of the joy of doing something for themselves. Because
Julia: Yeah.
Emma: like, if we step in too soon and do it, then like we're taking that away from them kind of when they should get that. Grat that sense of like I did it of accomplishment like
Julia: It's yeah.
Emma: that's theirs to have like we know how to do those things. We don't need to like do it for them so that we keep feeling good and that's maybe why we do it. Do you think that's why like we help more than we should sometimes because it makes us feel good because we did something.
Julia: Probably. I I think that's a legitimate reason why.
Emma: It's like, I'll help you get all ready for bed, because then I feel like I did something. But then...
Julia: When you're participating with your child, you're spending time with them, it feels valuable.
Emma: Mm-hmm.
Julia: yeah, it's such an interesting concept. It's been fun talking about this because it makes me think about
Emma: and so forth.
Julia: all of the things that I want to try differently or do differently in the house. so I love our conversations, Emma, because
Emma: I love it.
Julia: Just because it makes me it makes me think about things that I may or may not have thought about in a long time and I and then or I'll think about things that I'm currently doing I think hmm I could alter that a little change that you know and Yes, and we're hoping that you as listeners and viewers will feel
Emma: Yeah, permission to change it up.
Julia: the same way that you think oh well There's nothing wrong with how I've done it. We don't want you to feel shame or judgment like we just wanted you there's just opportunity for like thinking about something in a different way maybe.
Emma: And I feel that way about the socks. Like honestly, I've never put my socks by the door. I put
Julia: Maybe we should put our socks by the door.
Emma: like two pairs in the winter, but I go upstairs to get their socks every day. And it's like, wait, why haven't I changed that? But it's just like, I didn't think about it necessarily.
Julia: Yeah.
Emma: That link wasn't there until now today. I'm probably gonna go put my socks down in the entryway.
Julia: Here's the case speaking of socks the problem that I have with my socks now is They come home They take off their socks now We use we tend to use merino wool socks by woolen. which are my favorite socks, and they don't smell they get sweaty They dry really fast their antimicrobial blah blah blah. There's lots of properties to marina wool We use them summer and winter, but they take off their socks And we haven't quite figured out how to like roll them up yet. So they'll just be like in the basket like loosey goosey. Or if they are dirty, I don't have a place to put the dirty socks. I'm not quite sure what I want to do yet. So that's something to think about if you do move them down. Like where do they put dirty clothes downstairs? Because upstairs they have a hamper. Do they just go right into the laundry room? Do I need to put a low hamper in the laundry room where they can just throw their stuff? Anyway, that's what I'm thinking about. See, always thinking.
Emma: I just want little basket. No, always thinking, it's always changing. So we'll close with a quick recap.
Julia: Yeah, okay. Yes, yes, you go first Emma.
Emma: So we've spent the whole hour, 13 minutes talking about
Julia: Ha ha ha ha!
Emma: practical life. If you don't know what it is, here's your refresher. It is hands-on, everyday tasks that teach children how to care for themselves, care for their environment, have coordination of their movements, and use grace and courtesy.
Julia: Yes. And then in your own environment, we kind of came to the conclusion, and I, that dressing really offers the most practical, practical life experience because this is most frequently connected to the child's day, right? They have to get dressed to kind of start their day. So preparing that space requires patience and observation and No judgment upon yourself of just kind of seeing, okay, this works, this doesn't, let's try this. Being willing to try new things and arrange differently.
Emma: Yep. And you, the adult, we are really helping support this transition from total dependence to independence while collaborating with our child during this process and even after independence is reached, just as we live life, ooh, live life as a family. Sorry, guys.
Julia: Yeah. Yeah. And I think that carries over into their own adulthood. know, like, think about it. When our husbands or partners are helping us with something in the house, doesn't that feel nice when we're all working together? And so think about that. Don't you want your adult children to help around the house or your teenage children to help around the house? That feels good when you're working together, you're spending time together. you know, starting now is a great way to foster that. you know, so that you see that growth as they get older too. Yeah.
Emma: Well, thank you everyone for tuning in, listening. We'll be back in two weeks, every other week, talking all about toileting and
Julia: Yes.
Emma: bodily functions. So, it is.
Julia: It's going to be a good one. We have lots of fun ideas. It can be somewhat of a, I don't know if it would be controversial topic, but it's just a more, I don't know, it's a good topic. It's a topic that often comes up into conversation, I feel like, within, like among moms and dads. And we want to offer you our own insight and two cents of different things we've experienced and done in our own homes.
Emma: and such different experiences even between the two of us. did things
Julia: Yes. Yeah.
Emma: very, we've done things very differently. And so that'll be fun to talk about. Okay, Julia. Well, I hope you have a great day and we'll see you next time. All right, bye.
Julia: Cool. Thanks, you too. Bye.