"self-portrait as a container" by Blue Đào Nguyễn

Con·tain·er
/kənˈtānər/. (noun).
1. An object.
2. An object that can be used to hold.
3. An object that can be used to transport something.
Synonyms: Vessel.
Do you feel like a vessel?
Ves·sel
/ˈves(ə)l/. (noun).
1. Ship.
2. Hollow container.
3. Cask, Barrel, Ship.
I think of myself as a container.
in august i started eating myself
into myself.
this isn’t a metaphor.
i was actually hungry.
a barrel of hunger.
i didn’t even know it could rain like this.
i collected rain in the barrel of my
Stom·ach. /ˈstəmək/. (noun).
1. An internal organ.
2. An appetite.
Stom·ach. /ˈstəmək/. (verb).
1. Consume.
Did you ever think of yourself as a daughter? A son?
Con. /kon/. (noun).
A Vietnamese noun meaning:
1. Daughter.
2. Son.
3. Child.
Wasn’t I a vessel, then?
Con. /kon/. (classifier).
A Vietnamese classifier meaning:
1. Specifying the act of being an animal.
2. I am of animal.
3. To classify animacy.
Wasn’t I a container?
i wanted to be a container.
until i became a container.
to beg a small god to turn
me into a prayer.
i watched myself become a container.
over and over. over and over.
wasn’t i a good daughter/son/child/
Con. /kon/. (noun).?
A Vietnamese noun meaning:
1. Daughter.
2. Son.
3. Child.
4. Animal.
I watched my mother become a
Con·tain·er /kənˈtānər/. (noun).
1. An object holding grief.
2. An object holding grief.
3. An object holding grief.
An object holding daughterhood.
my mom was a daughter. the way
i was a daughter.
to contain a prayer.
to consume—
a barrel. vessel. con. animal. daughter.
over and over. over and over.
wasn’t i a good [daughter/son/child/]?
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Blue Đào Nguyễn called us from Saigon, Vietnam.
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