Interview with Arnold Beekes on Brain Fitness S12 E4

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For those of you are struggling, I've been there and
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I understand what you're going through. So this is for
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improving your mental health. Please support us on Spreaker with
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the Supporters Club and you'll gain access to podcasts or
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you'll be just supporting us for doing the things that
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we love. And also you get ideas are not tips,
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but I'm not an expert, but you get ideas on
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how to cope with your mental health. So at least
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from whatever I learned or we've learned from coping with
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our mental health. Let's just say that to support us
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at the Sports Cup on Spreaker, can't let me hit
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record here and I'm ready to go.
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Not all right?
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Hello, this is the Joseph Vivaldi podcasts and also improving
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your mental health because it'll be on both shows. I
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have two podcasts, so this is a good topic. As
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many were listening, you know the sand news that Robert
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Cardine headwed by polar had you know, meant his some
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time when death by his own hands, and that's like
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it touches a base of were talking about why mental
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illness is exploding.
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In some clauses.
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And I go through mental ilness myself, with my poor
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and we definitely want to know about why it's exploding.
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Some of the clauses and Brandon Fitness and that's.
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Where I don't know.
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Paks will talk about it.
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Yes, thank you.
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So why is mental uns exploding right now? Why is
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like why would somebody who has by poor or going
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through again the illness? Why does that happen?
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Well, it's not just one reason. I think it is
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a couple of reasons, very interesting things. Reason to know
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just that.
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I spoke yesterday with and I had an interview on
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the podcast with a bed of eighty five.
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Years old and he had also grown up in the Netlands,
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just like.
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Myself, and he said when we were young, nobody was
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talking about Mendalila.
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Yeah, and even though there were a lot of challenges.
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He grew up as a kid Indian where two of
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my parents did the same.
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But I knew nobody would have You never talk with
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people when there is quite poor burn out for stress
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or decreation or anxiety.
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Everybody had it and everybody knows someone where has it.
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But when I grew up, it was another thing. So
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that that's very important to understand. Why is this growth
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and it cannot be explained by a growth in population.
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I did that research and it's it's not because of that.
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It's also not because in the deism, which is the
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diagnostic statistic manual psychiatry where they define in which category
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of a mental disorder you fall, there were like a
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three hundred percent growth in number of labels to people.
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But that is also not of course, so it's something else. Well,
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part of the reason I think where's happening is stigma.
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In when I grew up an hour, let's say maybe
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fifty twenty years ago, not even fifteen years ago, there
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was a stigmund something and you didn't mention it, yeah,
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and or you just say, oh that that person is
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crazy or is like it, and it was not the
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rest at all. So coming to today's environment, I think
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there are a couple of reasons. Number one, I think
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we live in a very disfunctional and corrupt society. Yeah,
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whether it's well, you're in the US, I'm currently in
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Eastern Europe, it's everywhere in the world. It's everywhere, really
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crazy things happening. And we know that because previously there
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were also wars and poverties and murders and all of
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these things. But we didn't know it. So that brings
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me to reason number two, which is I sing the
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main corporate is these things your your your your mobile phones,
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in combination with social media and now more and more
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in combination with artificial intelligence, are those days are destroying
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people's brains. It's it's it's it's everywhere, but everywhere.
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From from literally source signed to psychosis, to overwhelmed, constant
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feeling or stress, not able to remember sayings, instant gratification
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needs it's.
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It's really really since the introduction, and it's getting worse
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and work by all. These are jet bots and and
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chet apps with with which are being introduced. So that's
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reason number two. The third reason I would say is
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a lack of sleep. People don't sleep. The people don't
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sleep enough, and even if they sleep, they put their
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phone on their cushion or on the nightstand or.
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The available twenty four seven.
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Yes, yes so, And it's not only if there's no measure,
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but this thing also gives a frequency and a radiation
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which he pets you. Yeah. And the fourth reason I
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would like to share is pologization of emotions that people
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don't understand that we live in a duality. What does
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that mean. It means that, well, what the weality means.
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When there's light, there's also dark, when there's things hope,
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when there are also things closed, when there is food, emotions,
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you're happy, you're joyful, you're fine, and you can also
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be angry and frustrated and stressed. Yeah, but that's the duility.
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It's it's like a sea sull Both things are there,
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but people can do now it's like, well, I'm not happy,
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I'm not a bit stressed, Like, oh, I should go
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to the doctor.
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I shouldn't have this isn't it. It's a part of
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line when like if you have a relationship not going
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fine that's been going on for thousands of years.
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Yeah, I like to I like to add this because
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I think there's a ladds to a discussion. I used
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to be a hockey goaltender in like where I was
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playing as a kid, like from thirteen to seventeen years old,
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and as a goaltender, you you gotta defend the part
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you have the anxiety not letting anything in everything else,
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And it's like when you're in the action during the action,
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but when the game is over there and they're on
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offense and you just sit there. You're sitting there with
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your thoughts, and your thoughts can be overwhelming when you're net.
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So I guess that's where early you know, signs or
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whatever I went through. But it was like game anxiety.
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Yeah, well, well I can't relate very much because I
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was also a goalkeeper. I feel coke, not that I
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know absolutely what you mean, because basically the role of
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the keep bird is that you can only make mistakes.
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If you do something well, people say, oh, it's that's
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supposed to do and when you miss something and like
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they start to blame you and everything around that.
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I was I lost nineteen nothing one game when when
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I first started and I was learning how to play,
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my coach said, let the game play. We played a
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really staged team. We lost nineteen nothing. How was the goaltender?
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No?
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But but you know, it's like I laugh at it
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down but I wasn't laughing then, but it's like, you know,
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it's like one of those things like that's why I
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think Kyphreen like humor has got to play a role
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in a lot of things with life.
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I think, Yeah, and that means that you're really gonna
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be very carefully managing what messages you consume. Yeah, what
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what are you reading? What are you the vidus? You're
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watching different and now it's the shorts. They're terrible for
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your brain. So it's like if you're consuming that and
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most people are consuming that's six to eight hours per day, Yeah,
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that has a and I would say ninety percent of
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them are based on fear. They are based on aggression
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or negative stuff that has an influence. That's that's that's
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just a given. It's not something is wrong with you
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or me. You're no, that's normally if you for hours
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per day get fed, we fear based messages that will
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impact you. There's no doubt about that issue. That is
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why I say, just like that, you have to manage
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what you eat, what you put in buddy, you also
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have to manage what you put as messages into your brain.
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I mean, I have to add this to the conversation
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because there's a there. I don't know if you heard,
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you probably heard, but there is a massive storm where
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I live in New Jersey, like twenty two inches of stone.
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Unheard of. But it's like going for shopping, everyone was
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there and everything else. It's like you you have the
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fight in flight and then the freeze. It seemed like
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I was just more in fight mode when it came
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to that. It's like you turn into the survival instincts.
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Yeah, And.
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Like I said, we're living in a total disfunctional career
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society where all these things are happening and then normal,
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it's not you cannot explain them just just by natural
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call or physics.
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Then there are many, many different causes, which are a
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lot of them men made. And then yeah, they call
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it geo engineering, and that impacts people. Yeah, it's it's
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like and I think the goal is to to make
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you angry. The goal is to make you nervous. The
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goal is to to make you always in a state
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of fight or fly, and that has a negative impact
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on your total health.
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No, No, I agree, it's had it's had a toll
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for me for several months. Like it's like I've been
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constantly in that mode due to life experiences. And if
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I'm in New Jersey, you know it's crazy and you're
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traffic everywhere and it's it's crazy.
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Yeah, absolutely, but that impacts everyone.
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Yeah.
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Yeah, and then people start to blame other people and
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they start to be arguing and polarizing and everything that
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is all adding to the confusion, that's all adding to
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that that you're not feeling good. So that's why I
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say you have to be really careful, like what are
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you're reading? And I would say stop using your phone
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as much. And if you if you look at things,
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look at positive news, look at good news, look at
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something which you want to learn, where you want to grow.
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It's also important the people you deal with have be good.
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A lot of people well if you, yeah, you might have.
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Even at friends, they're always complaining and they're like, oh,
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this is not good, that it's not working with those
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are not real friends. You sure, we like it's it's
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like it's everything which comes at you and then in
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you as an impact on you.
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So so tell me how important communication and connection is
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with this, because I think you briefly discussed it the
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last time we met. But bring it home to the
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people who haven't heard it, because in this part in
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this podcast.
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We like and you know, yeah, it's it's absolutely true.
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We humans, we most like that are we to communicate?
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We use words, We use language muh but I think
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language is a straight because the language is imperfect. It's
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even if we use the same words, we might have
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a different meaning.
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Everything is different, is different.
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I used the example a few days ago against against
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my with my business partner, and I said, if I
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tell you it's like I got a headache, and then
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you say, oh, I know a headache. You're not nice,
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but your headache is totally different from my headache.
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You're you're.
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So it's like we're using exactly the same word, but
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you give a meaning to that word which is totally
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different from my meaning, but we still think we are
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we're talking about the same thing. Yeah. So that's why
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I say language is imperfect incomplete. It's it's it creates
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a little misunderstanding. And I'm not even talking because what
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I assume English is your mother tongue, but for me
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it's Dutch. It's like, yeah, I'm talking in a different language.
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And like.
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It's like the communication you have to be really careful
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and really especially when we talk about emotions and feelings,
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because when you say I'm stressed, I might say it's
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like I'm nervous. Yeah, yes, and I need to understand
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you what you mean by it and what is causing it,
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and they even maybe wearing your body, do you feel
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it or whatever? Like yeah, some people when they're stretch
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they bing in their name, getting their shoulders, but they're
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a little.
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Did to give it.
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When you get straight, you get painting a little way back. Yes,
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it was like nothing is the same, but you have
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to explain it more because.
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That's that that that's very I agree with you, and
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it's very true. I mean it's like you have to
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I have to explain whatever that is. Many other people
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have to explain it, and like it's very true. It's
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like everyone has different meanings for everything.
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It's like I was.
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Watching wrestling today old school in nineteen eighty seven, and
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I'm a big fan of wrestling WWF or WWE or
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something like that World Wrestling Federation. But I was watching
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it's the wrestler Sika and Kamala communicate. Now, I'd understand
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what they were talking about if viewers didn't understand what
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they were talking about, But whenever they communicated, it seemed
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like they both understood what they were talking about in
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their own language, in their own different liguages.
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Well, I would even take it a step further, and
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this I think it's now in one of the podcasts,
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well at least in the US, but a single world
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why it's called the telepathy types. Are you listening to that?
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Oh?
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No, I would.
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Highly recommend it. It's really interesting. It has to just
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one point season is that in the season two it's
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called the telepathy types. It's weird. A community of people
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or non speaking. They cannot speak, and so it's not
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that they will not they cannot speak. So how do
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you communicate with someone you cannot speak? Well, whether they
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think that you're spelling yes, or they maybe type of
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some kind of a keyboard whenever they need to learn
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that or whatever. But the pe is that most of these,
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maybe even all of them, can communicate via teleivity. The
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televity means I hear your thoughts, I hear what you
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are thinking, I hear what's going on with you. So
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that means that language is no very because I go
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straight into your head. Yeah, I know what's going on.
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So I can respond to that. And because that person
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cannot speak or or she cannot speak, they have a
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very very direct form of communication, which means they weeds
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you much better communication because it's not like, well, I'm
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using the world words or I didn't want to say that.
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Now they go straight into your idea and that's dell
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it with me.
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We can't do that.
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You and I can do that, and these books can
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well they have to do it because they have no
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other means of communicating. But it's it shows that if
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you remove language and the words you use, and everything
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seems to become more pure, more direct, more easy. We've
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heard so many times when nine years ago, when when
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I worked from the corporate environment, and if people won't
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say so diversit. No, I agree with this project, and
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I think it's good that we do it, and then
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we go in this direction and we do this and
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that that's just works. But that be it any sooner
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or later. They did nothing to make that change issue.
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It's just they say the words, but inner they don't.
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Like.
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But you cannot say I'm not gonna do that because
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people will like you should they say yeah, really it's right,
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but they're not doing it.
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Issue.
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The words is and and words and what you do
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are what I call the top of the iceberg. That's
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what you see, that's what you hear, But what's really
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going on below the sugar level and like with an iceberg,
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that's nine tenths of the iceberg, which you don't know
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where you can't see, but that is what's really happening.
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See, upples, Upples have this way in this dead they
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just seem to know what the others think.
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Of you know, they just seem being like, no, they know.
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Your mind, they know your heart. It's like they just know.
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It and that's where they grow, right, Yeah, yeah, yeah,
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that's why it is. It is not good to or
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shume did you think you know? Well?
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You do?
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You like?
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And it's better to bunch and to let them explain.
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Like we just said, that improves in relationship, being your
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communication because then you don't feel eating what the other
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person is saying or thinking.
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Hey guys, it's more like don't shoot.
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Just an okay.
315
00:24:13.279 --> 00:24:19.279
There are some books that aren't just read, they're felt
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00:24:19.960 --> 00:24:28.079
a Saul Warrior's Journey is the raw, real story of survival, healing,
317
00:24:29.119 --> 00:24:37.799
and spiritual transformation, written by Joseph Valdi and powerfully narrated
318
00:24:38.720 --> 00:24:45.599
by Andrew Garrett. If you ever battled depression, question your path,
319
00:24:46.599 --> 00:24:52.519
or searching for meaning when the world went dark, this
320
00:24:52.680 --> 00:24:58.759
book and audiobook is your companion on the road back
321
00:24:58.839 --> 00:25:06.119
to yourself. It is available now on Amazon and Audible
322
00:25:07.279 --> 00:25:13.799
as Aul Warrior's Journey because every warrior has a story,
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00:25:14.000 --> 00:25:16.480
this one.
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00:25:15.759 --> 00:25:30.880
Might be yours. In communication, it's really difficult. We don't
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pay enough attention to it. We make all kinds of assumptions,
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and we have our own history, which out the words
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or experiences or companies, and then we assume the other
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person knows that. But I got fifty years of experience
329
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with something like that. And then the other person who's
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gathering only two months of experience, I know what you're
331
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talking about, do no, no.
332
00:26:02.319 --> 00:26:09.759
No, I know I'm talking about from my perspective, but
333
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I don't know from another person's perspective exactly.
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That's why I say, because we we we make assing
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that the fault is in the education system and in
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our repread. Then we assume that every person is the same.
337
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That's why there's this big samification happening at the moment
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you get to school or you're you get to get
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to get to university or work that want you to
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behave in the same way as everybody else. When you
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look the same, when you behave the same, do the
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same with the same program, you get the same stuff whatever.
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00:26:52.279 --> 00:27:01.799
That totally dilutes the fact that every human being is unique.
344
00:27:00.039 --> 00:27:06.880
M every human being is essentially totally different from anyone else.
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Nobody has Joseph's experiences of knowledge DNA. Everything is different,
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but we issume and it's all the same. And that's
347
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why I say the fault is in the system, because
348
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we are made. Everything is the same, whereas we are
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all unique.
350
00:27:32.119 --> 00:27:39.599
Definitely all are. Because I know me and my significant other,
351
00:27:41.119 --> 00:27:47.799
we're completely opposite. But you know it's just by design.
352
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But but you know you need somebody to challenge you
353
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and support like you need somebody to push you.
354
00:27:59.720 --> 00:28:02.079
Yeah, and I'm the same man.
355
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You need that support. And you know we we do both.
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We push each other to be better and we give
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each other support to talk to each other when something
358
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is going wrong.
359
00:28:23.079 --> 00:28:24.960
You're not feeling about it.
360
00:28:28.400 --> 00:28:34.200
Yeah, man, that is not easy, every man. And if
361
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you push and pull at the wrong moment or whatever,
362
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can be completely missed verstood. That's why I say is
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that if you realize that each person is unique, and
364
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you basically don't understand the ship about someone else, you
365
00:28:53.279 --> 00:28:59.640
might have a relationship of decades. Most people don't know themselves.
366
00:29:00.240 --> 00:29:04.680
I cannot say I know myself for one hundred percent.
367
00:29:05.319 --> 00:29:07.839
I've been working on this for twenty five years, day
368
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and night to understand myself. And I'm improving, I mean
369
00:29:11.799 --> 00:29:14.359
the next day, but there's still layer with which I'm like,
370
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She's like, so if I don't even know completely myself,
371
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how can I expect someone else to do?
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00:29:26.559 --> 00:29:34.680
You know, I I have to be the most from
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whatever I've done. I think I'm the most confusing person
374
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that I know. I mean, I don't know how much
375
00:29:48.839 --> 00:29:56.119
I actually put out the long second, it's I'm confused.
376
00:29:58.119 --> 00:29:59.559
People are going to be diffused.
377
00:30:00.079 --> 00:30:08.720
M hm. That is not strange. That is, but you
378
00:30:08.920 --> 00:30:12.160
acknowledge it. You put in the work that most people
379
00:30:12.279 --> 00:30:14.599
ignore it and they don't put in the work and
380
00:30:14.680 --> 00:30:18.359
they just assume that everybody else understand what's going on
381
00:30:18.599 --> 00:30:29.759
inside of that. But that is again a totally yesh, Like, well,
382
00:30:30.559 --> 00:30:32.920
you and I have been with ourselves for all of
383
00:30:32.960 --> 00:30:36.960
our lives, but a relationship or a business partner or
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00:30:37.039 --> 00:30:42.319
a friend or whatever, wells being only a small part
385
00:30:42.359 --> 00:30:47.319
of that. I mean by issue, it's it's it's I
386
00:30:47.359 --> 00:30:50.440
think it's even impossible for someone else to get to know.
387
00:30:50.480 --> 00:30:54.720
You totally say, like, so if we expect that we
388
00:30:54.720 --> 00:30:59.240
we we put the month's requirements even on someone else,
389
00:31:00.599 --> 00:31:02.000
which is totally incorrect.
390
00:31:03.720 --> 00:31:06.240
It's like it's like applying for a job. It's like
391
00:31:06.640 --> 00:31:10.440
you have a resume and it's like, here, here's the job.
392
00:31:10.640 --> 00:31:15.720
Do it. If the job description answer for me, it
393
00:31:15.799 --> 00:31:16.960
will be a grand sube.
394
00:31:22.599 --> 00:31:28.759
But it's like, you know, that's why I go think
395
00:31:28.839 --> 00:31:32.640
I try to go things is an open like like
396
00:31:32.920 --> 00:31:36.599
I open. I'm not trying to be an open book,
397
00:31:36.640 --> 00:31:40.680
but I try to like approach things like I'm gonna
398
00:31:40.720 --> 00:31:47.039
approach things a new situation. But however, I have the
399
00:31:47.079 --> 00:31:51.519
baggage from the past hovering over me. So it's like
400
00:31:51.720 --> 00:31:53.480
it's a tugging war type of thing.
401
00:31:54.880 --> 00:31:57.599
Yeah, but that's why why I say, and a lot
402
00:31:57.599 --> 00:32:01.240
of people say, is that you should approach a lot
403
00:32:01.319 --> 00:32:05.279
of things with the beginner's mind. Yeah. Yeah, it's like
404
00:32:06.119 --> 00:32:08.839
I don't know, well how that's gonna work out, or
405
00:32:08.880 --> 00:32:11.640
it's in your environment, this is it is, I just
406
00:32:11.720 --> 00:32:14.200
look at it. It's like, for the first time in
407
00:32:14.240 --> 00:32:16.839
your life, you account of that. That is a better
408
00:32:16.920 --> 00:32:20.079
approach than oh I know everything and I know I
409
00:32:20.160 --> 00:32:24.079
will work out than I will do. That will create
410
00:32:24.119 --> 00:32:27.400
a lot of misunderstanding. But if you have a beginner's mind,
411
00:32:28.039 --> 00:32:30.799
it's like I don't know I want to learn, tell.
412
00:32:30.640 --> 00:32:36.400
Me yeah, yeah, I mean I'm just thinking. I'm thinking
413
00:32:36.400 --> 00:32:42.160
to myself, yeah yeah, because I'm thinking it's something that
414
00:32:42.480 --> 00:32:46.000
I should be doing. Guys should be doing more of. Well,
415
00:32:46.119 --> 00:32:51.599
I should have been doing more of like reading or
416
00:32:52.400 --> 00:32:58.359
you know, just learning and you know, just understanding people
417
00:32:58.519 --> 00:33:03.119
more than I do on a daily basis, because when
418
00:33:03.160 --> 00:33:06.599
you go and when I go day to day, it's
419
00:33:08.240 --> 00:33:12.720
the rush of life rather than being present in the moment.
420
00:33:14.039 --> 00:33:19.680
Exectly, exectly. That's very good, Joseph's that's why we must
421
00:33:19.759 --> 00:33:23.440
not make all these assumptions, either about ourselves or about
422
00:33:23.480 --> 00:33:27.839
other people, and just ask to say, can you please explain?
423
00:33:28.160 --> 00:33:32.119
Or yeah, okay, you say you have addache, but please
424
00:33:32.160 --> 00:33:35.519
give me a little bit more detail and help me
425
00:33:35.559 --> 00:33:37.880
explain when you get it ato headache and how does
426
00:33:37.920 --> 00:33:40.519
it work and how does it go away? Or is
427
00:33:42.880 --> 00:33:45.799
having this beginner mind is not I know you have adache,
428
00:33:46.200 --> 00:33:49.720
I know what it is. No, you don't like if
429
00:33:49.799 --> 00:33:53.960
you are more questioning and we're asking and more like, hey,
430
00:33:54.000 --> 00:33:57.599
I want to learn, that's better than who I don't.
431
00:34:00.400 --> 00:34:05.559
No, what is the definition of a headache? What what
432
00:34:05.839 --> 00:34:12.599
constitutes is a headache? And what constitutes his anxiety and
433
00:34:14.360 --> 00:34:18.599
where in the body and what can explain where it
434
00:34:18.679 --> 00:34:21.320
comes from and what's more?
435
00:34:22.920 --> 00:34:25.719
Yeah, but it like it can be physical and it
436
00:34:26.159 --> 00:34:29.679
most likely it will be physical and psychological and all
437
00:34:29.719 --> 00:34:33.159
these things you don't know. Is so it's like that's
438
00:34:33.239 --> 00:34:41.480
why using these great descriptions is not helping you. But
439
00:34:41.559 --> 00:34:47.639
it's also not helping someone else because it's too vague.
440
00:34:47.840 --> 00:34:52.920
It's like, yeah, it's like, oh, I have stress if
441
00:34:52.920 --> 00:34:55.760
I if I mold my hand, like that also creates
442
00:34:55.800 --> 00:34:59.239
stress in my hand. Yes, it's like yeah, it's like yes.
443
00:34:59.320 --> 00:35:03.199
So it's like they're fine from the thousands that form
444
00:35:03.239 --> 00:35:06.960
of stress you. So it's like we should we should
445
00:35:07.000 --> 00:35:11.039
provide more detail and be more thorough and really is
446
00:35:11.519 --> 00:35:13.519
like okay, but what is it? What's course? Or it
447
00:35:13.559 --> 00:35:18.800
is like I'm fearful or I'm angry, okay, but angry
448
00:35:18.840 --> 00:35:19.760
about what?
449
00:35:19.760 --> 00:35:20.880
What time? Anger?
450
00:35:21.559 --> 00:35:25.360
Yeah? Yeah, what does it happen? I say, like anger
451
00:35:25.400 --> 00:35:30.239
at myself and somebody else? So all the thing we
452
00:35:30.360 --> 00:35:34.000
used to superficial kind of words, and then we assume
453
00:35:34.119 --> 00:35:35.639
that everybody I.
454
00:35:35.639 --> 00:35:39.880
Know anger about what situation?
455
00:35:40.920 --> 00:35:46.239
Yeah? Yeah, but it might have been an anger or
456
00:35:46.239 --> 00:35:52.039
something and experience with you years ago. Let me give
457
00:35:52.079 --> 00:35:56.639
an example. A few years ago, and I was running
458
00:35:57.400 --> 00:36:02.239
sidewalk and the rope was I end up clothes. They
459
00:36:02.239 --> 00:36:04.840
were doing some work there and the game whatever suit
460
00:36:05.840 --> 00:36:09.119
bikes and wherever. They were also supposed to walk out
461
00:36:09.239 --> 00:36:11.840
over the side side walk and I was running and
462
00:36:11.880 --> 00:36:15.519
all of a sudden, I feel something behind me against
463
00:36:15.599 --> 00:36:17.559
my legs and it was a guy biking.
464
00:36:18.599 --> 00:36:19.320
He was running.
465
00:36:20.239 --> 00:36:25.320
He was driving against me, and I'm like, like, there you.
466
00:36:25.280 --> 00:36:29.360
Should go with hide and I'm like, this is a
467
00:36:29.440 --> 00:36:33.920
sidebook you're not allowed to buy here, And all of
468
00:36:33.960 --> 00:36:35.519
a sudden, I felt so angry.
469
00:36:36.239 --> 00:36:39.880
I felt hugely angry, and normally I'm not an angry person.
470
00:36:39.880 --> 00:36:43.280
And I'm like I had to postrain myself. I was like,
471
00:36:43.400 --> 00:36:47.039
I want to beat this guy up. It's like, I'm
472
00:36:47.119 --> 00:36:48.920
just running here on the side of the book that's
473
00:36:48.960 --> 00:36:51.079
allowed your biking here, and you you you.
474
00:36:51.199 --> 00:36:52.960
To push against me, that's all the land.
475
00:36:53.320 --> 00:36:57.480
And then later on that thing, I think it's anger.
476
00:36:58.559 --> 00:37:03.159
I didn't. I'm not angry and I never beat people
477
00:37:03.280 --> 00:37:10.119
up or whatever you like. Yeah, and then I realized
478
00:37:10.599 --> 00:37:13.760
that it's gotta do with it big trauma my life
479
00:37:14.199 --> 00:37:21.119
that I'm not being seen I'm not good enough. So
480
00:37:21.280 --> 00:37:24.000
I felt by that guy he was not seeing me.
481
00:37:24.159 --> 00:37:27.320
He was just pushing into me with his spot You
482
00:37:27.440 --> 00:37:32.599
so it wasn't holt well and present trauma, which which
483
00:37:32.679 --> 00:37:35.599
had the huge impact on me, which made me angry
484
00:37:35.679 --> 00:37:38.079
because it basically had nothing to do with that guy
485
00:37:38.119 --> 00:37:46.400
on the pike that happened fifty years before, because my
486
00:37:46.519 --> 00:37:53.840
father never saw us. You se it like no, no,
487
00:37:54.000 --> 00:37:56.039
I knew where it was coming from and how it
488
00:37:56.199 --> 00:37:59.480
impacted me and my behavior. You need to know that
489
00:37:59.599 --> 00:38:02.760
your so pis to explain to other people, because otherwise
490
00:38:02.760 --> 00:38:04.119
it doesn't make sense.
491
00:38:06.000 --> 00:38:12.119
My trauma. I have several traumas. My trauma was that
492
00:38:12.920 --> 00:38:17.599
was with work. I kept on running around doing things
493
00:38:18.480 --> 00:38:27.519
like unloading, like crushing boxes and delivering packages. It seems
494
00:38:27.599 --> 00:38:33.320
like the thing that upset me was I became the
495
00:38:33.400 --> 00:38:38.119
reliable person and then they counted on me too much.
496
00:38:39.920 --> 00:38:47.280
Scared me because when I was reliable, too reliable, it
497
00:38:47.400 --> 00:38:50.360
put a lot of pressure on me, and it's like
498
00:38:51.440 --> 00:38:57.639
I needed breathe for a few seconds and rest becroup.
499
00:38:58.280 --> 00:39:01.480
I couldn't do that because I had.
500
00:39:02.960 --> 00:39:05.840
Oh, I had a worker, I had.
501
00:39:06.079 --> 00:39:10.599
Managers oversee whatever I was going.
502
00:39:10.320 --> 00:39:15.320
At work, and I could.
503
00:39:15.119 --> 00:39:19.559
Never cycle up because he always wanted me to do
504
00:39:19.760 --> 00:39:24.880
the job. That's it at length. So it was in
505
00:39:25.079 --> 00:39:32.800
one time we got in trouble because informing one of
506
00:39:32.840 --> 00:39:40.679
my coworkers about the shift, I had like, whatever you
507
00:39:40.760 --> 00:39:46.119
think I was needed, And I got in trouble one
508
00:39:46.159 --> 00:39:51.559
of my managers because they felt that I was lacking off.
509
00:39:54.159 --> 00:40:00.440
That's just a little little work trauma.
510
00:39:59.360 --> 00:40:04.159
Yeah, but what we all have. But still we carry
511
00:40:04.280 --> 00:40:10.119
the trauma in their backpack and that influences our behavior,
512
00:40:10.800 --> 00:40:14.039
but we we are not always aware about that. Yeah,
513
00:40:15.239 --> 00:40:20.280
And that's why dealing with other people is so challenging.
514
00:40:20.360 --> 00:40:23.920
And that's why you should be much more considering and
515
00:40:24.039 --> 00:40:29.440
more patient and give them more background than understanding, because
516
00:40:29.599 --> 00:40:36.519
otherwise they they don't understand. And it comes back to
517
00:40:36.559 --> 00:40:40.280
what I said earlier. Understand that each person they might
518
00:40:40.360 --> 00:40:44.840
be using the same word, but every person is unique,
519
00:40:44.880 --> 00:40:48.519
and as a unique you might use the same label,
520
00:40:48.920 --> 00:40:51.239
but they doesn't that mean the same experience.
521
00:40:56.719 --> 00:40:57.039
Mm hm.
522
00:40:58.000 --> 00:41:05.039
I hate that point because it's not because I'm just agreeing,
523
00:41:05.519 --> 00:41:11.239
but emotionally, emotionally, I feel that.
524
00:41:15.119 --> 00:41:15.599
It just.
525
00:41:17.280 --> 00:41:23.519
Happens. It's like it resonates because even though I can't
526
00:41:23.519 --> 00:41:30.960
express it with my mind and I can't feel the
527
00:41:31.039 --> 00:41:34.519
sense of the ports right now, but I know deep
528
00:41:34.599 --> 00:41:37.039
down inside here it resonates.
529
00:41:38.199 --> 00:41:39.079
That's what comes.
530
00:41:45.480 --> 00:41:45.920
I know.
531
00:41:48.559 --> 00:41:51.719
We're at the forty minute mark.
532
00:41:53.880 --> 00:41:55.519
I want to.
533
00:41:54.960 --> 00:41:57.559
Continue on with the podcast or.
534
00:41:59.599 --> 00:42:01.440
Whatever. Trying video Joseph.
535
00:42:03.199 --> 00:42:08.320
Dot dot wrap it up. A little tired right now.
536
00:42:08.360 --> 00:42:15.519
I haven't slept yet. It's about three thirty seven am
537
00:42:15.639 --> 00:42:20.719
where I am. Well, what time is it wherever you are?
538
00:42:25.000 --> 00:42:26.880
So it's about.
539
00:42:26.400 --> 00:42:35.360
One time for you and Lee morning mid morning, and
540
00:42:35.719 --> 00:42:40.800
it's about it's about breakfast time for me or sleep time,
541
00:42:40.960 --> 00:42:41.559
sleep time.
542
00:42:45.039 --> 00:42:51.480
But uh, have a have a good guy, and thank.
543
00:42:51.280 --> 00:42:58.199
You for being on the podcast, Arnold, and uh, this
544
00:42:58.599 --> 00:43:07.519
show's gonna be here and Joseph podcasts improving your mental health?
545
00:43:08.119 --> 00:43:09.559
Is there anything you like?
546
00:43:17.320 --> 00:43:19.360
I mean, the two things I want to say. Number
547
00:43:19.360 --> 00:43:25.519
one is be kind to yourself. That sounds simple, but
548
00:43:25.639 --> 00:43:25.880
it's not.
549
00:43:29.159 --> 00:43:32.599
I've really really encouraged people to be kind to yourself
550
00:43:33.199 --> 00:43:37.000
because that's the only thing which you kind of accept internally,
551
00:43:37.599 --> 00:43:40.320
and that's the only thing which is really gonna help
552
00:43:40.360 --> 00:43:42.360
you instead of beating yourself up.
553
00:43:42.880 --> 00:43:46.360
So be kind to yourself. And if people want to
554
00:43:46.440 --> 00:43:50.679
enjoy join our free brain Fitnish community. It would ask
555
00:43:50.800 --> 00:43:51.360
them to go.
556
00:43:51.559 --> 00:43:53.480
To school dot com.
557
00:43:53.480 --> 00:44:02.639
School is eskey help slaship brain up. Great, it's one thing.
558
00:44:02.800 --> 00:44:06.000
I'm great. We have a free community show. I would
559
00:44:06.039 --> 00:44:06.960
like to find you.
560
00:44:09.039 --> 00:44:16.400
Okay, I'm gonna put it links to website in the
561
00:44:16.480 --> 00:44:17.840
description section.
562
00:44:19.239 --> 00:44:21.039
And I'm gonna let people.
563
00:44:23.639 --> 00:44:27.000
Arnold's pitch and.
564
00:44:28.440 --> 00:44:29.320
You can check this.
565
00:44:29.480 --> 00:44:35.960
Podcast out on Joseph Vivaldi podcast and also improving your
566
00:44:36.000 --> 00:44:42.519
mental health because this is okay topic for that podcast.
567
00:44:43.199 --> 00:44:46.719
So have it. Have a good day, and Arnold, thank
568
00:44:46.760 --> 00:44:48.960
you for being a part of the podcast.
569
00:44:50.039 --> 00:44:51.480
Thinking jose.
570
00:44:58.719 --> 00:45:03.599
Hello, this is our flightship for our flagships show, the
571
00:45:03.760 --> 00:45:12.400
Joseph EVLDI podcast, and we were asking you if you
572
00:45:12.440 --> 00:45:17.400
would like to support us from the Supporters Club. Become
573
00:45:17.480 --> 00:45:21.880
a member. See all the good things that we've been doing,
574
00:45:23.039 --> 00:45:27.119
and we're gonna feature some compilations in the future and
575
00:45:27.320 --> 00:45:32.079
much much more. So check us out and become a
576
00:45:32.199 --> 00:45:37.199
member and support us on the Supporters Club on Sprenker
577
00:45:39.280 --> 00:45:40.119
and support us