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Diane Schroeder [00:00:00]:
Welcome to The Fire Inside Her, the podcast where we explore the incredible stories of individuals who have discovered their inner fire on their journey to authenticity. I'm your host, Diane Schroeder. And I am so grateful that you are here.
Diane Schroeder [00:00:23]:
Life is a journey filled with unexpected twists and turns, and today's guest knows that better than most. Catherine Farquharson started her career as a journalist, weaving stories with words. Then, she transitioned into the world of capturing timeless moments as a wedding photographer. But that's not where the journey ends. She took another turn on her path and became a coach. A life coach, and a mindset coach.
Diane Schroeder [00:00:57]:
She's not just an observer of life. She helps others navigate unique paths. What's most exciting about this conversation for me is just how laid back and down-to-earth Catherine is. I learned what heart math is, and I think you will enjoy learning about that as well. And she just has a really wonderful way of how she explains what she does and her philosophy in life and just the art of life coaching. Welcome to another episode of The Fire Inside Her. Well, hello, everyone. Today is a special treat because I get to chat with and you get to listen to a mindset coach, Catherine Farquharson all the way from Canada. Catherine, welcome.
Catherine Farquharson [00:01:50]:
Thank you so much. I'm so happy to be here.
Diane Schroeder [00:01:53]:
I am looking forward to this conversation. I want to start with the icebreaker question, and that question is, what is your favorite travel adventure story?
Catherine Farquharson [00:02:09]:
Oh, boy. Well, I have one that just popped into my mind. Since we're talking about authenticity, the most authentic one is definitely Gory. So, I'm not going to say that one. I'm being authentic here, so I want you to know that was the first thought I had and I spared you. So now I'm going to go for something else that just randomly popped into my mind. So, I used to be a wedding photographer, And I had a dream job to go to India to photograph a wedding. And that was something that I had on my wish list forever.
Catherine Farquharson [00:02:49]:
I was like, oh, if only, if only. And then I got another dream job, which was to go to India to photograph for an NGO called Plan Canada. So, kind of like UNICEF. And so, I was going to go over there, and they had an opportunity to be in a Canadian magazine called Chatelaine. It's one of the biggest lifestyle magazines in Canada. And this was my actual dream, dream. And the wedding was in March, and the NGO job was in January. And just at that time, India had come out with a rule that you couldn't go to India on a Visa that you can enter and exit as a tourist within a 3-month period.
Catherine Farquharson [00:03:43]:
So, basically, it was like, I either have to turn down the wedding clients or I have to turn down this literal dream of my life. And I refused for this to be my reality. And I was like, there's got to be a way. There's got to be a way. And so, I kept going back to the Indian consulate in Toronto where I lived, and I was like, there's got to be an emergency visa. There's got to be, I can go as a journalist. Like, I kept going back, and I got met with nothing, nothing, nothing. And so, then I went to the ambassador and sat in the waiting room at the embassy for, I think, a good 12 hours just visualizing myself, like, on the plane.
Catherine Farquharson [00:04:27]:
I'm like, okay. I'm on the plane, and I can see the Himalayas out my window, and I sat there. And, you know, I had talked about this leading up to it, and people I had spoken to were, like, just cry, you know, like, just be in despair. And I was, like, okay. Well, maybe I'll think about that. And so, I finally get brought into this room of the guy, and he's like, kind of like a big man behind the desk kind of guy. No softness in his face or anything like this. And I remember there were 5 of us in there and he would do each person case by case in front of everyone else.
Catherine Farquharson [00:05:06]:
So, I watched how he responded to the other people, and there was this one woman who right before me, so they all got denied, by the way. Everyone before me like, no. You can't go, and they got, like, kicked out of the room. And I was like, oh, man. Like, what am I going to do? And then right before me was a woman, and she cried, and he did not like that. And so, I was like, oh, no. Crying out. Crying out.
Catherine Farquharson [00:05:31]:
So, she's off on the side still crying, and he's like, next. So, I'm like, okay. Okay. So, I go up to the desk and I sat down, and I was like, do you have a tissue? And he's like, for what? And I'm like, for her. You know, the crying lady over there, and he's like, oh, yeah. Oh, that's a good idea. Really good idea. And as soon as he did that, I was like, I'm in.
Catherine Farquharson [00:05:56]:
Like, I've made an alliance. So, he got to be the good guy, giving her the tissue, and then I explained my case, and I said what I was going to be doing with the NGO, and that I already had a wedding to attend later. And could he give me an exception and an emergency status exception? And he said, no. And I was like, okay. Okay. And he goes, that's impossible. And we just had this moment where we looked at each other. I looked at him and I was like, I know. And then we just stayed like that. And then he goes, okay. I'll have it for you tomorrow. And then I got to go.
Diane Schroeder [00:06:39]:
That's amazing. I love that, which, actually, thank you for sharing. It ties right into my next question. Because you are a mindset coach, it sounds like you've naturally been doing this for a while. Can you describe what embodiment is, and how mindset and embodiment are tied together?
Catherine Farquharson [00:07:00]:
Yeah. So, in this context, I would say the embodiment is moving from the idea of something to be actually living it as though, like, I live it through my body. I am congruent with what I'm thinking. That would be the easiest way to explain that. So, people, especially in mindset work, people have ideas about how they should think, or I could think these important things are, like, I know. I just need to think positive. And we have this, like, whole running list of things that happen mentally, but then embodiment is when we're not just thinking about those things, but we're thinking, like, from those things, that we are those things.
Diane Schroeder [00:07:44]:
I love that. I think back to a couple years ago, I was fortunate enough to deliver a TEDx Talk. And we had a presession before with all the speakers, and I was so nervous. I was, like, full of imposter syndrome. I'm like, there is no way. I don't know how I ended up here. All these people have amazing stories, and they got up and started talking about our talk. And I was literally just, I can memorize anything for 10 minutes. I want to memorize the talk. I want to make sure that I say exactly what I've written down. And the coach got up there, and she said, here's the deal. You guys are going to stand up on this red dot. There's going to be a big light shining in your face, and you need to embody your talk. And I was like, I have never heard that before. It was so foreign to me. And so, the more she explained it is exactly how you explained it. She's like, you've got to live what you're talking. You can think it. You can try to memorize it, but if there's a disconnect between your brain and your body, it is not going to be genuine and authentic. Would you agree with that?
Catherine Farquharson [00:08:49]:
100%. And I would even agree so far as to say that we actually communicate such a small portion, I think it's 7% of our communication is through words, and the rest is energetic through our bodies. And so, if you're not embodying what's true, people know. They can feel it. So, if you got up there and did your memorized thing, they'd be like, really great talk that you memorized. Like, I liked what you said versus, oh, I really felt her up there. I really felt the truth of that story, which is always what we want when we're sharing such important things.
Diane Schroeder [00:09:28]:
Yes. I learned that, and I've never let go of it. So, for 2 years now, it really changed the trajectory of my life in a lot of ways. So, how come our brains run rough shot over everything else, and why is it so hard to rein our thoughts in, in order to get in alignment because of the woulds and the shoulds and the I want to do this and I should just be positive and all of the self-talk that we give ourselves.
Catherine Farquharson [00:09:57]:
I think that the main answer to that question is because most of our thinking is habitual and it's programming. And so, we aren't really thinking. It's actually mental activity, which turns out are different things. So, when we have all this mental activity that's just part of the program, where we don't even hear most of what we think at all. Like, it's just kind of going in the background. And so, what goes, what runs is what was programmed. So, from our parents, from our environments, from school, from friends, from trauma, all of these things. And so, unless we have awareness of what we're even thinking in the first place, it's just very, very old. It's like dated material.
Diane Schroeder [00:10:43]:
How has your journey inspired you to become a mindset coach and kind of update the information so you're not stuck reading out of a 1980s textbook?
Catherine Farquharson [00:10:55]:
Yeah. That's exactly right. Well, I think my photography had a huge part to do with it because when I used to photograph, it was all about authentic photography. So, it was like, I didn't like anything that was posed unless the pose evoked a real moment. And my business was called, Documentographers, all about documentary-style portraiture. And so, I was always looking to help people see themselves and the beauty in themselves and to be able to bring out the real person in a real moment. And even in photo taking, I can see when someone's not there. When people were looking at their wedding photographers, you know, looking at different portfolios, I used to always say to people, like, instead of looking at the portfolio of, like, the whole thing with the mountains and the, like, the beautiful photographs, it's like, look in the eyes of their clients.
Catherine Farquharson [00:11:48]:
Can you feel them? Like, are they comfortable? So, I think that was the skill that I, like, honed through the repetition of, like, you know, 8,000 pictures every single weekend. You really got to work that craft, and then it helped me learn how to be authentic myself to bring it out in them. Like, I needed to show up in a certain way for them to show up in a certain way. So, now I see it as, like, a practice of what I learned in what I was doing and how it influenced what I was paying most attention to for the most of this period of my work. So, eventually, it turned into, like, I was, like, kind of coaching people, and I was coaching other photographers. And they're like, how did you do what you did with your business? And so, it just naturally evolved into what I was discovering through my own personal journey and through that, which is that it always starts with yourself first, whether it's how I was showing up with my clients or how I was paying attention to my own thinking.
Catherine Farquharson [00:12:50]:
You know, small things like, you know, you speak about the imposter syndrome. It was an art I had to learn to put myself in a position that would make me look a certain way in front of a crowd of people to get a certain shot. So, like you, I would imagine with the firefighting, it's like our natural inclination is to, like, run away from the danger. You have to train yourself to, like, go the other way. It's the same thing. I had to put myself in places that, like, you know, you had to get over what I thought other people might think of me.
Diane Schroeder [00:13:22]:
That is just a really beautiful way to explain how you show up. And that resonates with me because I think about that, you know, any type of growth in my life, whether it be learning to lead in the fire service, which was 96% is 96% male-dominated. You know, when I became a leader, I had to I call it put my big girl pants on, and I had to, you know, put myself in a spot of authority, which was really hard for a lot of reasons. It was slightly intimidating at first, and then, you know, the more I did it, it got easier. But really, it was about stretching myself and pushing myself further than all those limiting beliefs told me.
Catherine Farquharson [00:13:59]:
Yeah. Before I shot weddings, I used to shoot for a newspaper, like, a local, a weekly newspaper, and I would be sent to these events, like, you know, the film festival or something like that. And the journalistic photography business is also all male-dominated, and I was in my 20s, late 20s, and so I was also really young. And I remember at the scrim, like, there was no space for, like, a young, novice female photographer, and I had to do the same thing. I had to, like, use my elbows and elbow my way in to, like, demand that I too can get the shot.
Diane Schroeder [00:14:33]:
Right. Well and it's that I think, you know, not caring what other people think of you is so huge, and that's one of the biggest takeaways I've had in life that what other people think of me is none of my business. I often have to remind myself of that frequently depending on where I'm at. But, you know, it's that, yeah, people may think I'm a bitch, or people may think that I'm too aggressive because I'm doing exactly what my male counterparts were doing, yet I had to push myself to that spot, not because any of that was true. But because it was my job to lead.
Catherine Farquharson [00:15:04]:
Yeah.
Diane Schroeder [00:15:05]:
And how did you balance that, you know, in journalism as you progress through your career to where you are now of balancing that masculine and feminine energy?
Catherine Farquharson [00:15:18]:
That is a work in progress forever, I think. I want to say that the hardest part, I think, first, that what are people going to think that is easy to say I don't care what people think. But I think we do care what people think, or we project onto other people what we think that they think, which is really what we think of ourselves.
Diane Schroeder [00:15:41]:
The mirror.
Catherine Farquharson [00:15:43]:
The mirror. Yeah. So, for me, before I even got into balancing the masculine and the feminine energy of things, I had to get over that fear of the imposter syndrome when I moved from being a photographer and into being a coach because it was a completely new identity that I was putting out into the world, which I'm sure you can relate to yourself.
Diane Schroeder [00:16:04]:
I'm living it right now.
Catherine Farquharson [00:16:06]:
Yeah. And I was like you know, I had people saying, like, in my mind, right, who does she think she is? Like, she was a photographer, and now she can coach. Like, come on already. You know? And then I started to look at that. I was like, who do I even think saying this, you know? And were people saying this? I think they were, actually. But the part I was afraid of was actually more internal. Like, they will say it, and when they do, it's doesn't matter. So, I agree. I don't really care. But then, also, if I don't overcome the fact that I still have energy in that area, it really could have held me back. I mean, I was, like, coaching in private for a long time. I didn't tell anybody. I had these 1-on-1 clients and I eventually, I was like, okay, I got to, I got to get out there and, you know, get congruent.
Diane Schroeder [00:16:54]:
How did you do that? Like, how did you listen to your authentic voice and your inner knowing and embody all of the tools that you help clients with to use on yourself so that you could show up as your best version and express yourself through that way and become a successful mindset coach?
Catherine Farquharson [00:17:16]:
I did 2 things. The first thing I did is I put myself on the hook. So, I think we let ourselves off the hook when we don't tell people what we're up to and when we let dates and guides be loosey-goosey. And so, I knew enough to put a date in the calendar where I was hosting an event, and I think I made it about 6 months away. So, I gave myself a chance to prepare and, like, build up to it, but I've hosted a workshop. And the significance of that was for me to mark to myself, now I have begun. Even in the sharing of this evolution, I wasn't talking about, oh, now I do this.
Catherine Farquharson [00:17:58]:
It was like, I have a thing. This is what I do now, come join, is different than just, like, applaud me for my new identity. So, that was one way. The other thing that I did when I was growing my business, I moved from 1-on-1 coaching into a group model. When I got that first client that signed up for the group model, she signed up in September, and I did the same thing. I had put myself on the hook that we were starting in the beginning of November. I said, great. We're starting in November. I'll give you a 1-on-1 call in the meantime. I'll get you all set up. And then I said, there's a great group of women. You're going to love them. And she was like, great. Is there, like, a Facebook group or something where I can meet them? And I'm like, absolutely. It's just not ready yet, but it's coming.
Catherine Farquharson [00:18:45]:
And then that was that. I was, like, my mission became about creating what I had promised her that was in support of what I was up to. But by saying that to her, I had no option but to be successful. The way I was able to instill am able to really keep going through that imposter syndrome at another level, another level, another level is that I have things that I care about living out in my life matter to me more than the milestones.
Diane Schroeder [00:19:18]:
Can you tell me more about that?
Catherine Farquharson [00:19:20]:
Yeah. Like, what I have found with goal setting is that if we just think about the thing that's right upcoming, that next thing, it feels a little more dangerous, where it's like teeter-totter. Like, if I don't succeed in this, it means x about me, or if not this, then watch. Like, it's so much emphasis on the success of this milestone or this goal. Put it in a context that's much bigger, which the one that I like to think about is, okay, it's the end of my life. I'm looking back, and how do I feel about how I went after these goals that I created in my life? Like, you know, will it matter to me that that thing didn't work or worked? No. Does it matter that I went for it? Yes.
Diane Schroeder [00:20:07]:
That is beautiful. It's the difference between a scarcity mindset and an infinite mindset. If I don't get this, if I'm hearing you correctly. You know, this is the end all be all, and you don't see the forest through the trees. You don't see the big long game of Ii's the tiny things that we do that create the bigger ripples down the road.
Catherine Farquharson [00:20:30]:
Yeah. Exactly. And even when the things don't go well, it's like, you know, when you first asked what's your favorite travel story, the things that came to my mind were all the things that, like, all the good travel stories are the mess ups.
Diane Schroeder [00:20:42]:
Yes.
Catherine Farquharson [00:20:43]:
That's why I was going to tell you a gross one.
Diane Schroeder [00:20:46]:
That's so true in life, and I think we're talking about it more, but I've learned a lot more from my failures than my successes. And it sounds cliche to say that. I think I'm learning that even more in an entrepreneurial world. It's the world I was raised in, we had very little margin for air. Obviously, we're dealing with life and death. Potentially, we're dealing with, you know, sick people and community members. And so, I think I really, at a young age, adopted this perfectionist, I can't screw up mindset. And then I realized as I grew in my leadership journey that, no, there is room for failure.
Diane Schroeder [00:21:22]:
It's when you're training and practicing, and that's where you get it out of the way. And, also, there's a team of us, so if things don't go a 100% as planned, more than likely there's a bunch of us to figure it out. And it definitely set me back when I was like, oh, but now I'm on my own. I don't have anyone else to fail, but me. I was going to say, so it's a little different, but I do try to remember that. And I always love hearing my guests, like, what you said. You've just got to continue thinking the big picture.
Catherine Farquharson [00:21:55]:
Yeah. And I think that the cliche about, you know, we fail our way to success and things like that, this is just my own personal opinion, but I think that social media that's been happening alongside these types of journeys where the success is what we see, I think that there's often this actual belief is, like, I'm absolutely okay with failure as long as I'm successful. So, it's like, totally believe that. Like, yes, you fail on your way to success, but as long as it doesn't happen to me.
Diane Schroeder [00:22:28]:
Right. It's not genuine then because we're all going to fail and screw up.
Catherine Farquharson [00:22:34]:
Yeah. So, everyone's saying that. But they're not showing that. I don't know how many people really believe that they're actually okay with failure.
Diane Schroeder [00:22:44]:
That's a really good point. And to your point about social media, it's the same of, you know, I can show you how to scale your business to 8 figures in 6 months and, you know, that what it doesn't say or what I don't hear in those messages is but it took me 10 years to be an overnight success.
Catherine Farquharson [00:23:02]:
Exactly. You don't know what's happening. You only see people where they are, not what happened to get there.
Diane Schroeder [00:23:07]:
Which is really good. It's so important. It is. And I think it's also good for empathy and compassion to remember that, you know, that everyone has their own journey and who knows what anyone's been through. But more than likely, there's probably been some hard times and some struggles along the way. So, how have you learned to take care of yourself? And what does your self-care routine look like with your coaching and your business? And how do you take care of yourself?
Catherine Farquharson [00:23:37]:
Oh, I spend a lot of time taking care of myself.
Diane Schroeder [00:23:41]:
I love to hear that so much. It's like sweet words. Sweet words to hear.
Catherine Farquharson [00:23:47]:
Yeah. I really have come to understand that if I don't take care of myself, I'm not of service to other people. Self-care isn't going to the spa. It's like, actually, for me to do what I want to do, I have to be healthy and really, really aware about what I need and what's going on inside of me and just basically to have a clean vessel, like energetically, physically. So, I have a morning routine that I die by the sword by, which includes meditating, and it includes some form of body scan. So, I'm listening to what's going on inside of my body to see what I'm actually feeling and, like, kind of being in dialogue with myself. And then I've been a lifelong journaler, so this is something I teach about and I help people learn how to move from, like, diary writing into, like, self-coaching, basically.
Diane Schroeder [00:24:40]:
Okay.
Catherine Farquharson [00:24:41]:
So, I really help myself with my journaling. And then I also have my own coaches to support me through breath work, embodiment work. I do HeartMath.
Diane Schroeder [00:24:52]:
What's HeartMath?
Catherine Farquharson [00:24:53]:
Oh, this is exciting.
Diane Schroeder [00:24:55]:
I've never heard of that before.
Catherine Farquharson [00:24:57]:
Well, I'm opening the portal for you. So, HeartMath, it's a technique, but it's run by something called the HeartMath Institute. So, if you want to learn more about it, you can just Google, HeartMath. What you're going to discover after I share this with you is that you're going to see it runs through a lot of, the work of people that we know, like Joe Dispenza, Dawson Church. Like, there are a lot of studies that people are backing their energetic work behind, all that is coming out of the HeartMath Institute. So, it's a really incredible methodology because it is so backed in measurable scientific experiments to validate what am I about to tell you.
Diane Schroeder [00:25:37]:
I love it.
Catherine Farquharson [00:25:39]:
It's so amazing. So, what they have discovered is that the heart has a brain, and the brain is stronger than our brain in our head. And so, our communication to our body, actually, we do it incorrectly when we try to go from our head to our heart, but rather what we want to do is reverse the signal to go from our heart to our head. And so, HeartMath is a breathing and visualization. I will call it technique to get your pet in your heart in coherence so that you have a rhythmic pattern in your beat to beat of your heart. And when that happens, it's when we're in our parasympathetic nervous system and we are able to be open to our intuition. We're able to be open to the messages from our heart. And when we're in a stress response, the heart rhythm is jagged, the connection is cut.
Catherine Farquharson [00:26:35]:
And so, originally, I believe, beyond the science experiments, HeartMath was taught to first responders. So, there are tons of people who would teach HeartMath to people like you. In the fire department, they teach the army, they teach ER doctors and nurses. People who need to be able to be highly, highly functioning in high-stress situations because you can't have your head cut from your heart and be able to make those life-or-death decisions that you were talking about. I'm only scratching the surface of, like, its possibilities. But what happens is we have a field that is measurable outside of our body that when we're in coherence, we send out, and so you can create coherent signals with other people, with your pets, with your babies, all kinds of, like, consciousness-raising on the planet when people are doing HeartMath at once. So, it’s a technique that can be used personally for yourself. So, when I use it in the morning, what I'm doing is I bring myself into a state of coherence, and then I set my emotions. It's like I'm putting on my clothes. I'm like, okay. I'm breathing in, like, the peace that I'm going to feel today. You know, I know how I want to connect with you on the podcast, so I do HeartMath before I sign in with you here. Like, I put myself in a state that I can then perform in as the best version of myself that I can without it coming from my head.
Diane Schroeder [00:28:03]:
I love that and I cannot wait to check it out as soon as we get done recording. So, for those of you listening, I will also put that in the show notes because that is fascinating, and I can't believe I haven't heard about that.
Catherine Farquharson [00:28:15]:
Yeah. Well, you will see it everywhere now that you've heard about it. I think it's one of those things, like, your reticular activating system is going to be, like, just oh my god. Herma. Herma. Oh, you know about Herma. Yeah.
Diane Schroeder [00:28:28]:
What I'm hearing you say is it's so aligned with who you are, how you coach, how you lead your business, how you lead your life. I just think that's beautiful. That's, like, the gold standard that we're all, I think, should be striving for and I think we all really want to strive for. How important is your community in all of this alignment as well, and how did you find your community to support you?
Catherine Farquharson [00:28:53]:
Well, it's everything. It's exceptionally important. But what's interesting as you were saying that I have never been someone who likes groups. So, you know, in high school, I was never part of a friend group. I have a friend from different groups, and that's always been the way that I thrive. And so, when you were saying that, I was thinking, wow. That's so funny because I didn't realize until this moment that my community is the exact same where I've, like, picked the people from groups that then make up my own, like, mosaic. So, my community to me is not their community to each other for my personal life.
Catherine Farquharson [00:29:40]:
Like, my coaches, they came from different places, like, different reasons for them being in my life, that type of thing. Then I have my collection of friends, same thing. They're not, like, I bring them together, but they're not a group. So, it's interesting. I wouldn't say that my personal community I wouldn't have used that word before now because they don't commune. However, in my community that I have built, which is very interesting. I'm just having these revelatory moments as we're talking is also everything, because they are a community. So, to me, they're my community. And I think that that has come from exactly what we're talking about today, which is, like, just I have run my business so authentically that I have attracted authentic people, and then they all fall in love with each other because there's a resonance of even though they come from different places and have different experiences and are different ages and all those things. They're not even in the same physical location. They feel a bond that is always surprising them, which I find so much fun to see.
Diane Schroeder [00:30:50]:
Oh, I'm sure. Well, and that's the energy. Right? That's the limitless possibilities of your energy and how you project, and I think it's also a testament to you as a leader and how you live your life because, you know, I think surrounding yourself with diversity in thought, backgrounds, religion, people, beliefs, and all of that is a beautiful way to thrive in life because it keeps you open. It keeps you challenged. It keeps, you know, all the good energy flowing instead of getting stuck and stagnant to go back to the 1980s textbook. It's you know, it becomes old, and it's the same thing.
Catherine Farquharson [00:31:28]:
It's true. And it's interesting too now, I feel like there's a lot of, again, like cliche kind of things that people say like, I like to be with like-minded people. And when I hear that, I think, I wonder if we need to change that phrase because I don't like to be with like-minded people because then I'm going to hear an echo chamber of me back to me, and we don't get that diversity of thinking. And what I do like is having, like, like valued people. My community is incredibly respectful of difference of opinion. And that's something that I think we need more of in this world. Like, people just cut things out all the time. It's like, cancel this, cancel that, shut you down, block you. Like, what are we so afraid of? Can we not sit in the presence of someone who has an opinion we hadn't thought of?
Diane Schroeder [00:32:18]:
Yes. What comes to mind when you say that is curiosity over judgment. It's, you know, being curious instead of being judgmental and asking more and wanting to know more about why and tell me more about that. Those are really powerful phrases that can connect people. I believe that most humans have a good intention and are good in their hearts, and you don't know their story, but humans have a lot to offer. And I think, you know, just what you said, we are quick to shut people down for no reason because we're judgmental and probably need to do a little bit of inner work. That's always my response. Like, oh, you haven't dealt with things, have you?
Catherine Farquharson [00:33:04]:
And you're just not there yet, and that's okay.
Diane Schroeder [00:33:07]:
I know we've been chatting for a while. I just have one more well, I have a couple more questions. But when it comes to mindset and how important it is to embody in all of the topics we've discussed. What are some of the limiting beliefs that women specifically have when it comes to mindset?
Catherine Farquharson [00:33:29]:
Definitely, I hear about, it's too late. There's a lot of that to like, for people of a certain age, that can come up a lot. And, also, the comparison component of they're going to launch something or they have a goal, and they look outside of themselves. And there's so much of this, you know, like, who needs another blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So, there's a diminishing of self that is there a lot and also a sense of worth, like, deservability.
Diane Schroeder [00:34:06]:
Mm-hmm. I hear that a lot too, that not worthy, everyone's more worthy than I am, and I have to give a give a give to everyone else and meet everyone else's needs first. Those 3 items, do you feel that they are based in fear?
Catherine Farquharson [00:34:21]:
Yes.
Diane Schroeder [00:34:22]:
Simple answer. I know.
Catherine Farquharson [00:34:25]:
And I think it comes from the old programming. It's like, we’re going to think what we think on repeat until we have something else to think.
Diane Schroeder [00:34:33]:
That is a very good way to put that. So, how can my listeners find you to explore mindset more and a little bit more about your work and what you do?
Catherine Farquharson [00:34:45]:
Well, I have a website, which is mindsetcoaching.ca, because I'm in Canada. So, that's where you can find out, you know, what's happening now kind of thing. And I run lots of little short programs, and then I also run a yearlong program. And so, if people want to try something, they can come for a short program. If they want to really, like, do an overhaul of self or going for goals or wanting support for when there's faltering. So, sometimes people want to come in for that launch feeling like I'm taking off now, and then other people know that when you take off, you have setbacks. And so, you just like to set yourself up to be in a space where you get the support and the learning that you need as you go along. So, it sort of depends on where people are at. And I have an Instagram, catherine_farquharson.
Diane Schroeder [00:35:39]:
Awesome. I will put all of that in the show notes. Catherine, thank you so much for sharing and such a wonderful conversation. I've learned a lot, that always makes me happy, and I'm sure my listeners have learned a lot as well. And I just really appreciate you taking the time to chat with us today.
Catherine Farquharson [00:35:55]:
Thanks. I'm so happy to be on this podcast, and I'm so happy to speak with you and your community.
Diane Schroeder [00:36:00]:
Thank you so much. Another great conversation. Thank you for giving the valuable gift of your time and listening to The Fire Inside Her podcast. Speaking of value, one of the most common potholes we fall into on the journey to authenticity is not recognizing our value. So, I created a workbook. It's all about value. Head on over to thefireinsideher.com/value to get your free workbook that will help you remember your value. Until next time, my friend.
Diane Schroeder [00:00:00]:
Welcome to The Fire Inside Her, the podcast where we explore the incredible stories of individuals who have discovered their inner fire on their journey to authenticity. I'm your host, Diane Schroeder. And I am so grateful that you are here.
Diane Schroeder [00:00:23]:
Life is a journey filled with unexpected twists and turns, and today's guest knows that better than most. Catherine Farquharson started her career as a journalist, weaving stories with words. Then, she transitioned into the world of capturing timeless moments as a wedding photographer. But that's not where the journey ends. She took another turn on her path and became a coach. A life coach, and a mindset coach.
Diane Schroeder [00:00:57]:
She's not just an observer of life. She helps others navigate unique paths. What's most exciting about this conversation for me is just how laid back and down-to-earth Catherine is. I learned what heart math is, and I think you will enjoy learning about that as well. And she just has a really wonderful way of how she explains what she does and her philosophy in life and just the art of life coaching. Welcome to another episode of The Fire Inside Her. Well, hello, everyone. Today is a special treat because I get to chat with and you get to listen to a mindset coach, Catherine Farquharson all the way from Canada. Catherine, welcome.
Catherine Farquharson [00:01:50]:
Thank you so much. I'm so happy to be here.
Diane Schroeder [00:01:53]:
I am looking forward to this conversation. I want to start with the icebreaker question, and that question is, what is your favorite travel adventure story?
Catherine Farquharson [00:02:09]:
Oh, boy. Well, I have one that just popped into my mind. Since we're talking about authenticity, the most authentic one is definitely Gory. So, I'm not going to say that one. I'm being authentic here, so I want you to know that was the first thought I had and I spared you. So now I'm going to go for something else that just randomly popped into my mind. So, I used to be a wedding photographer, And I had a dream job to go to India to photograph a wedding. And that was something that I had on my wish list forever.
Catherine Farquharson [00:02:49]:
I was like, oh, if only, if only. And then I got another dream job, which was to go to India to photograph for an NGO called Plan Canada. So, kind of like UNICEF. And so, I was going to go over there, and they had an opportunity to be in a Canadian magazine called Chatelaine. It's one of the biggest lifestyle magazines in Canada. And this was my actual dream, dream. And the wedding was in March, and the NGO job was in January. And just at that time, India had come out with a rule that you couldn't go to India on a Visa that you can enter and exit as a tourist within a 3-month period.
Catherine Farquharson [00:03:43]:
So, basically, it was like, I either have to turn down the wedding clients or I have to turn down this literal dream of my life. And I refused for this to be my reality. And I was like, there's got to be a way. There's got to be a way. And so, I kept going back to the Indian consulate in Toronto where I lived, and I was like, there's got to be an emergency visa. There's got to be, I can go as a journalist. Like, I kept going back, and I got met with nothing, nothing, nothing. And so, then I went to the ambassador and sat in the waiting room at the embassy for, I think, a good 12 hours just visualizing myself, like, on the plane.
Catherine Farquharson [00:04:27]:
I'm like, okay. I'm on the plane, and I can see the Himalayas out my window, and I sat there. And, you know, I had talked about this leading up to it, and people I had spoken to were, like, just cry, you know, like, just be in despair. And I was, like, okay. Well, maybe I'll think about that. And so, I finally get brought into this room of the guy, and he's like, kind of like a big man behind the desk kind of guy. No softness in his face or anything like this. And I remember there were 5 of us in there and he would do each person case by case in front of everyone else.
Catherine Farquharson [00:05:06]:
So, I watched how he responded to the other people, and there was this one woman who right before me, so they all got denied, by the way. Everyone before me like, no. You can't go, and they got, like, kicked out of the room. And I was like, oh, man. Like, what am I going to do? And then right before me was a woman, and she cried, and he did not like that. And so, I was like, oh, no. Crying out. Crying out.
Catherine Farquharson [00:05:31]:
So, she's off on the side still crying, and he's like, next. So, I'm like, okay. Okay. So, I go up to the desk and I sat down, and I was like, do you have a tissue? And he's like, for what? And I'm like, for her. You know, the crying lady over there, and he's like, oh, yeah. Oh, that's a good idea. Really good idea. And as soon as he did that, I was like, I'm in.
Catherine Farquharson [00:05:56]:
Like, I've made an alliance. So, he got to be the good guy, giving her the tissue, and then I explained my case, and I said what I was going to be doing with the NGO, and that I already had a wedding to attend later. And could he give me an exception and an emergency status exception? And he said, no. And I was like, okay. Okay. And he goes, that's impossible. And we just had this moment where we looked at each other. I looked at him and I was like, I know. And then we just stayed like that. And then he goes, okay. I'll have it for you tomorrow. And then I got to go.
Diane Schroeder [00:06:39]:
That's amazing. I love that, which, actually, thank you for sharing. It ties right into my next question. Because you are a mindset coach, it sounds like you've naturally been doing this for a while. Can you describe what embodiment is, and how mindset and embodiment are tied together?
Catherine Farquharson [00:07:00]:
Yeah. So, in this context, I would say the embodiment is moving from the idea of something to be actually living it as though, like, I live it through my body. I am congruent with what I'm thinking. That would be the easiest way to explain that. So, people, especially in mindset work, people have ideas about how they should think, or I could think these important things are, like, I know. I just need to think positive. And we have this, like, whole running list of things that happen mentally, but then embodiment is when we're not just thinking about those things, but we're thinking, like, from those things, that we are those things.
Diane Schroeder [00:07:44]:
I love that. I think back to a couple years ago, I was fortunate enough to deliver a TEDx Talk. And we had a presession before with all the speakers, and I was so nervous. I was, like, full of imposter syndrome. I'm like, there is no way. I don't know how I ended up here. All these people have amazing stories, and they got up and started talking about our talk. And I was literally just, I can memorize anything for 10 minutes. I want to memorize the talk. I want to make sure that I say exactly what I've written down. And the coach got up there, and she said, here's the deal. You guys are going to stand up on this red dot. There's going to be a big light shining in your face, and you need to embody your talk. And I was like, I have never heard that before. It was so foreign to me. And so, the more she explained it is exactly how you explained it. She's like, you've got to live what you're talking. You can think it. You can try to memorize it, but if there's a disconnect between your brain and your body, it is not going to be genuine and authentic. Would you agree with that?
Catherine Farquharson [00:08:49]:
100%. And I would even agree so far as to say that we actually communicate such a small portion, I think it's 7% of our communication is through words, and the rest is energetic through our bodies. And so, if you're not embodying what's true, people know. They can feel it. So, if you got up there and did your memorized thing, they'd be like, really great talk that you memorized. Like, I liked what you said versus, oh, I really felt her up there. I really felt the truth of that story, which is always what we want when we're sharing such important things.
Diane Schroeder [00:09:28]:
Yes. I learned that, and I've never let go of it. So, for 2 years now, it really changed the trajectory of my life in a lot of ways. So, how come our brains run rough shot over everything else, and why is it so hard to rein our thoughts in, in order to get in alignment because of the woulds and the shoulds and the I want to do this and I should just be positive and all of the self-talk that we give ourselves.
Catherine Farquharson [00:09:57]:
I think that the main answer to that question is because most of our thinking is habitual and it's programming. And so, we aren't really thinking. It's actually mental activity, which turns out are different things. So, when we have all this mental activity that's just part of the program, where we don't even hear most of what we think at all. Like, it's just kind of going in the background. And so, what goes, what runs is what was programmed. So, from our parents, from our environments, from school, from friends, from trauma, all of these things. And so, unless we have awareness of what we're even thinking in the first place, it's just very, very old. It's like dated material.
Diane Schroeder [00:10:43]:
How has your journey inspired you to become a mindset coach and kind of update the information so you're not stuck reading out of a 1980s textbook?
Catherine Farquharson [00:10:55]:
Yeah. That's exactly right. Well, I think my photography had a huge part to do with it because when I used to photograph, it was all about authentic photography. So, it was like, I didn't like anything that was posed unless the pose evoked a real moment. And my business was called, Documentographers, all about documentary-style portraiture. And so, I was always looking to help people see themselves and the beauty in themselves and to be able to bring out the real person in a real moment. And even in photo taking, I can see when someone's not there. When people were looking at their wedding photographers, you know, looking at different portfolios, I used to always say to people, like, instead of looking at the portfolio of, like, the whole thing with the mountains and the, like, the beautiful photographs, it's like, look in the eyes of their clients.
Catherine Farquharson [00:11:48]:
Can you feel them? Like, are they comfortable? So, I think that was the skill that I, like, honed through the repetition of, like, you know, 8,000 pictures every single weekend. You really got to work that craft, and then it helped me learn how to be authentic myself to bring it out in them. Like, I needed to show up in a certain way for them to show up in a certain way. So, now I see it as, like, a practice of what I learned in what I was doing and how it influenced what I was paying most attention to for the most of this period of my work. So, eventually, it turned into, like, I was, like, kind of coaching people, and I was coaching other photographers. And they're like, how did you do what you did with your business? And so, it just naturally evolved into what I was discovering through my own personal journey and through that, which is that it always starts with yourself first, whether it's how I was showing up with my clients or how I was paying attention to my own thinking.
Catherine Farquharson [00:12:50]:
You know, small things like, you know, you speak about the imposter syndrome. It was an art I had to learn to put myself in a position that would make me look a certain way in front of a crowd of people to get a certain shot. So, like you, I would imagine with the firefighting, it's like our natural inclination is to, like, run away from the danger. You have to train yourself to, like, go the other way. It's the same thing. I had to put myself in places that, like, you know, you had to get over what I thought other people might think of me.
Diane Schroeder [00:13:22]:
That is just a really beautiful way to explain how you show up. And that resonates with me because I think about that, you know, any type of growth in my life, whether it be learning to lead in the fire service, which was 96% is 96% male-dominated. You know, when I became a leader, I had to I call it put my big girl pants on, and I had to, you know, put myself in a spot of authority, which was really hard for a lot of reasons. It was slightly intimidating at first, and then, you know, the more I did it, it got easier. But really, it was about stretching myself and pushing myself further than all those limiting beliefs told me.
Catherine Farquharson [00:13:59]:
Yeah. Before I shot weddings, I used to shoot for a newspaper, like, a local, a weekly newspaper, and I would be sent to these events, like, you know, the film festival or something like that. And the journalistic photography business is also all male-dominated, and I was in my 20s, late 20s, and so I was also really young. And I remember at the scrim, like, there was no space for, like, a young, novice female photographer, and I had to do the same thing. I had to, like, use my elbows and elbow my way in to, like, demand that I too can get the shot.
Diane Schroeder [00:14:33]:
Right. Well and it's that I think, you know, not caring what other people think of you is so huge, and that's one of the biggest takeaways I've had in life that what other people think of me is none of my business. I often have to remind myself of that frequently depending on where I'm at. But, you know, it's that, yeah, people may think I'm a bitch, or people may think that I'm too aggressive because I'm doing exactly what my male counterparts were doing, yet I had to push myself to that spot, not because any of that was true. But because it was my job to lead.
Catherine Farquharson [00:15:04]:
Yeah.
Diane Schroeder [00:15:05]:
And how did you balance that, you know, in journalism as you progress through your career to where you are now of balancing that masculine and feminine energy?
Catherine Farquharson [00:15:18]:
That is a work in progress forever, I think. I want to say that the hardest part, I think, first, that what are people going to think that is easy to say I don't care what people think. But I think we do care what people think, or we project onto other people what we think that they think, which is really what we think of ourselves.
Diane Schroeder [00:15:41]:
The mirror.
Catherine Farquharson [00:15:43]:
The mirror. Yeah. So, for me, before I even got into balancing the masculine and the feminine energy of things, I had to get over that fear of the imposter syndrome when I moved from being a photographer and into being a coach because it was a completely new identity that I was putting out into the world, which I'm sure you can relate to yourself.
Diane Schroeder [00:16:04]:
I'm living it right now.
Catherine Farquharson [00:16:06]:
Yeah. And I was like you know, I had people saying, like, in my mind, right, who does she think she is? Like, she was a photographer, and now she can coach. Like, come on already. You know? And then I started to look at that. I was like, who do I even think saying this, you know? And were people saying this? I think they were, actually. But the part I was afraid of was actually more internal. Like, they will say it, and when they do, it's doesn't matter. So, I agree. I don't really care. But then, also, if I don't overcome the fact that I still have energy in that area, it really could have held me back. I mean, I was, like, coaching in private for a long time. I didn't tell anybody. I had these 1-on-1 clients and I eventually, I was like, okay, I got to, I got to get out there and, you know, get congruent.
Diane Schroeder [00:16:54]:
How did you do that? Like, how did you listen to your authentic voice and your inner knowing and embody all of the tools that you help clients with to use on yourself so that you could show up as your best version and express yourself through that way and become a successful mindset coach?
Catherine Farquharson [00:17:16]:
I did 2 things. The first thing I did is I put myself on the hook. So, I think we let ourselves off the hook when we don't tell people what we're up to and when we let dates and guides be loosey-goosey. And so, I knew enough to put a date in the calendar where I was hosting an event, and I think I made it about 6 months away. So, I gave myself a chance to prepare and, like, build up to it, but I've hosted a workshop. And the significance of that was for me to mark to myself, now I have begun. Even in the sharing of this evolution, I wasn't talking about, oh, now I do this.
Catherine Farquharson [00:17:58]:
It was like, I have a thing. This is what I do now, come join, is different than just, like, applaud me for my new identity. So, that was one way. The other thing that I did when I was growing my business, I moved from 1-on-1 coaching into a group model. When I got that first client that signed up for the group model, she signed up in September, and I did the same thing. I had put myself on the hook that we were starting in the beginning of November. I said, great. We're starting in November. I'll give you a 1-on-1 call in the meantime. I'll get you all set up. And then I said, there's a great group of women. You're going to love them. And she was like, great. Is there, like, a Facebook group or something where I can meet them? And I'm like, absolutely. It's just not ready yet, but it's coming.
Catherine Farquharson [00:18:45]:
And then that was that. I was, like, my mission became about creating what I had promised her that was in support of what I was up to. But by saying that to her, I had no option but to be successful. The way I was able to instill am able to really keep going through that imposter syndrome at another level, another level, another level is that I have things that I care about living out in my life matter to me more than the milestones.
Diane Schroeder [00:19:18]:
Can you tell me more about that?
Catherine Farquharson [00:19:20]:
Yeah. Like, what I have found with goal setting is that if we just think about the thing that's right upcoming, that next thing, it feels a little more dangerous, where it's like teeter-totter. Like, if I don't succeed in this, it means x about me, or if not this, then watch. Like, it's so much emphasis on the success of this milestone or this goal. Put it in a context that's much bigger, which the one that I like to think about is, okay, it's the end of my life. I'm looking back, and how do I feel about how I went after these goals that I created in my life? Like, you know, will it matter to me that that thing didn't work or worked? No. Does it matter that I went for it? Yes.
Diane Schroeder [00:20:07]:
That is beautiful. It's the difference between a scarcity mindset and an infinite mindset. If I don't get this, if I'm hearing you correctly. You know, this is the end all be all, and you don't see the forest through the trees. You don't see the big long game of Ii's the tiny things that we do that create the bigger ripples down the road.
Catherine Farquharson [00:20:30]:
Yeah. Exactly. And even when the things don't go well, it's like, you know, when you first asked what's your favorite travel story, the things that came to my mind were all the things that, like, all the good travel stories are the mess ups.
Diane Schroeder [00:20:42]:
Yes.
Catherine Farquharson [00:20:43]:
That's why I was going to tell you a gross one.
Diane Schroeder [00:20:46]:
That's so true in life, and I think we're talking about it more, but I've learned a lot more from my failures than my successes. And it sounds cliche to say that. I think I'm learning that even more in an entrepreneurial world. It's the world I was raised in, we had very little margin for air. Obviously, we're dealing with life and death. Potentially, we're dealing with, you know, sick people and community members. And so, I think I really, at a young age, adopted this perfectionist, I can't screw up mindset. And then I realized as I grew in my leadership journey that, no, there is room for failure.
Diane Schroeder [00:21:22]:
It's when you're training and practicing, and that's where you get it out of the way. And, also, there's a team of us, so if things don't go a 100% as planned, more than likely there's a bunch of us to figure it out. And it definitely set me back when I was like, oh, but now I'm on my own. I don't have anyone else to fail, but me. I was going to say, so it's a little different, but I do try to remember that. And I always love hearing my guests, like, what you said. You've just got to continue thinking the big picture.
Catherine Farquharson [00:21:55]:
Yeah. And I think that the cliche about, you know, we fail our way to success and things like that, this is just my own personal opinion, but I think that social media that's been happening alongside these types of journeys where the success is what we see, I think that there's often this actual belief is, like, I'm absolutely okay with failure as long as I'm successful. So, it's like, totally believe that. Like, yes, you fail on your way to success, but as long as it doesn't happen to me.
Diane Schroeder [00:22:28]:
Right. It's not genuine then because we're all going to fail and screw up.
Catherine Farquharson [00:22:34]:
Yeah. So, everyone's saying that. But they're not showing that. I don't know how many people really believe that they're actually okay with failure.
Diane Schroeder [00:22:44]:
That's a really good point. And to your point about social media, it's the same of, you know, I can show you how to scale your business to 8 figures in 6 months and, you know, that what it doesn't say or what I don't hear in those messages is but it took me 10 years to be an overnight success.
Catherine Farquharson [00:23:02]:
Exactly. You don't know what's happening. You only see people where they are, not what happened to get there.
Diane Schroeder [00:23:07]:
Which is really good. It's so important. It is. And I think it's also good for empathy and compassion to remember that, you know, that everyone has their own journey and who knows what anyone's been through. But more than likely, there's probably been some hard times and some struggles along the way. So, how have you learned to take care of yourself? And what does your self-care routine look like with your coaching and your business? And how do you take care of yourself?
Catherine Farquharson [00:23:37]:
Oh, I spend a lot of time taking care of myself.
Diane Schroeder [00:23:41]:
I love to hear that so much. It's like sweet words. Sweet words to hear.
Catherine Farquharson [00:23:47]:
Yeah. I really have come to understand that if I don't take care of myself, I'm not of service to other people. Self-care isn't going to the spa. It's like, actually, for me to do what I want to do, I have to be healthy and really, really aware about what I need and what's going on inside of me and just basically to have a clean vessel, like energetically, physically. So, I have a morning routine that I die by the sword by, which includes meditating, and it includes some form of body scan. So, I'm listening to what's going on inside of my body to see what I'm actually feeling and, like, kind of being in dialogue with myself. And then I've been a lifelong journaler, so this is something I teach about and I help people learn how to move from, like, diary writing into, like, self-coaching, basically.
Diane Schroeder [00:24:40]:
Okay.
Catherine Farquharson [00:24:41]:
So, I really help myself with my journaling. And then I also have my own coaches to support me through breath work, embodiment work. I do HeartMath.
Diane Schroeder [00:24:52]:
What's HeartMath?
Catherine Farquharson [00:24:53]:
Oh, this is exciting.
Diane Schroeder [00:24:55]:
I've never heard of that before.
Catherine Farquharson [00:24:57]:
Well, I'm opening the portal for you. So, HeartMath, it's a technique, but it's run by something called the HeartMath Institute. So, if you want to learn more about it, you can just Google, HeartMath. What you're going to discover after I share this with you is that you're going to see it runs through a lot of, the work of people that we know, like Joe Dispenza, Dawson Church. Like, there are a lot of studies that people are backing their energetic work behind, all that is coming out of the HeartMath Institute. So, it's a really incredible methodology because it is so backed in measurable scientific experiments to validate what am I about to tell you.
Diane Schroeder [00:25:37]:
I love it.
Catherine Farquharson [00:25:39]:
It's so amazing. So, what they have discovered is that the heart has a brain, and the brain is stronger than our brain in our head. And so, our communication to our body, actually, we do it incorrectly when we try to go from our head to our heart, but rather what we want to do is reverse the signal to go from our heart to our head. And so, HeartMath is a breathing and visualization. I will call it technique to get your pet in your heart in coherence so that you have a rhythmic pattern in your beat to beat of your heart. And when that happens, it's when we're in our parasympathetic nervous system and we are able to be open to our intuition. We're able to be open to the messages from our heart. And when we're in a stress response, the heart rhythm is jagged, the connection is cut.
Catherine Farquharson [00:26:35]:
And so, originally, I believe, beyond the science experiments, HeartMath was taught to first responders. So, there are tons of people who would teach HeartMath to people like you. In the fire department, they teach the army, they teach ER doctors and nurses. People who need to be able to be highly, highly functioning in high-stress situations because you can't have your head cut from your heart and be able to make those life-or-death decisions that you were talking about. I'm only scratching the surface of, like, its possibilities. But what happens is we have a field that is measurable outside of our body that when we're in coherence, we send out, and so you can create coherent signals with other people, with your pets, with your babies, all kinds of, like, consciousness-raising on the planet when people are doing HeartMath at once. So, it’s a technique that can be used personally for yourself. So, when I use it in the morning, what I'm doing is I bring myself into a state of coherence, and then I set my emotions. It's like I'm putting on my clothes. I'm like, okay. I'm breathing in, like, the peace that I'm going to feel today. You know, I know how I want to connect with you on the podcast, so I do HeartMath before I sign in with you here. Like, I put myself in a state that I can then perform in as the best version of myself that I can without it coming from my head.
Diane Schroeder [00:28:03]:
I love that and I cannot wait to check it out as soon as we get done recording. So, for those of you listening, I will also put that in the show notes because that is fascinating, and I can't believe I haven't heard about that.
Catherine Farquharson [00:28:15]:
Yeah. Well, you will see it everywhere now that you've heard about it. I think it's one of those things, like, your reticular activating system is going to be, like, just oh my god. Herma. Herma. Oh, you know about Herma. Yeah.
Diane Schroeder [00:28:28]:
What I'm hearing you say is it's so aligned with who you are, how you coach, how you lead your business, how you lead your life. I just think that's beautiful. That's, like, the gold standard that we're all, I think, should be striving for and I think we all really want to strive for. How important is your community in all of this alignment as well, and how did you find your community to support you?
Catherine Farquharson [00:28:53]:
Well, it's everything. It's exceptionally important. But what's interesting as you were saying that I have never been someone who likes groups. So, you know, in high school, I was never part of a friend group. I have a friend from different groups, and that's always been the way that I thrive. And so, when you were saying that, I was thinking, wow. That's so funny because I didn't realize until this moment that my community is the exact same where I've, like, picked the people from groups that then make up my own, like, mosaic. So, my community to me is not their community to each other for my personal life.
Catherine Farquharson [00:29:40]:
Like, my coaches, they came from different places, like, different reasons for them being in my life, that type of thing. Then I have my collection of friends, same thing. They're not, like, I bring them together, but they're not a group. So, it's interesting. I wouldn't say that my personal community I wouldn't have used that word before now because they don't commune. However, in my community that I have built, which is very interesting. I'm just having these revelatory moments as we're talking is also everything, because they are a community. So, to me, they're my community. And I think that that has come from exactly what we're talking about today, which is, like, just I have run my business so authentically that I have attracted authentic people, and then they all fall in love with each other because there's a resonance of even though they come from different places and have different experiences and are different ages and all those things. They're not even in the same physical location. They feel a bond that is always surprising them, which I find so much fun to see.
Diane Schroeder [00:30:50]:
Oh, I'm sure. Well, and that's the energy. Right? That's the limitless possibilities of your energy and how you project, and I think it's also a testament to you as a leader and how you live your life because, you know, I think surrounding yourself with diversity in thought, backgrounds, religion, people, beliefs, and all of that is a beautiful way to thrive in life because it keeps you open. It keeps you challenged. It keeps, you know, all the good energy flowing instead of getting stuck and stagnant to go back to the 1980s textbook. It's you know, it becomes old, and it's the same thing.
Catherine Farquharson [00:31:28]:
It's true. And it's interesting too now, I feel like there's a lot of, again, like cliche kind of things that people say like, I like to be with like-minded people. And when I hear that, I think, I wonder if we need to change that phrase because I don't like to be with like-minded people because then I'm going to hear an echo chamber of me back to me, and we don't get that diversity of thinking. And what I do like is having, like, like valued people. My community is incredibly respectful of difference of opinion. And that's something that I think we need more of in this world. Like, people just cut things out all the time. It's like, cancel this, cancel that, shut you down, block you. Like, what are we so afraid of? Can we not sit in the presence of someone who has an opinion we hadn't thought of?
Diane Schroeder [00:32:18]:
Yes. What comes to mind when you say that is curiosity over judgment. It's, you know, being curious instead of being judgmental and asking more and wanting to know more about why and tell me more about that. Those are really powerful phrases that can connect people. I believe that most humans have a good intention and are good in their hearts, and you don't know their story, but humans have a lot to offer. And I think, you know, just what you said, we are quick to shut people down for no reason because we're judgmental and probably need to do a little bit of inner work. That's always my response. Like, oh, you haven't dealt with things, have you?
Catherine Farquharson [00:33:04]:
And you're just not there yet, and that's okay.
Diane Schroeder [00:33:07]:
I know we've been chatting for a while. I just have one more well, I have a couple more questions. But when it comes to mindset and how important it is to embody in all of the topics we've discussed. What are some of the limiting beliefs that women specifically have when it comes to mindset?
Catherine Farquharson [00:33:29]:
Definitely, I hear about, it's too late. There's a lot of that to like, for people of a certain age, that can come up a lot. And, also, the comparison component of they're going to launch something or they have a goal, and they look outside of themselves. And there's so much of this, you know, like, who needs another blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So, there's a diminishing of self that is there a lot and also a sense of worth, like, deservability.
Diane Schroeder [00:34:06]:
Mm-hmm. I hear that a lot too, that not worthy, everyone's more worthy than I am, and I have to give a give a give to everyone else and meet everyone else's needs first. Those 3 items, do you feel that they are based in fear?
Catherine Farquharson [00:34:21]:
Yes.
Diane Schroeder [00:34:22]:
Simple answer. I know.
Catherine Farquharson [00:34:25]:
And I think it comes from the old programming. It's like, we’re going to think what we think on repeat until we have something else to think.
Diane Schroeder [00:34:33]:
That is a very good way to put that. So, how can my listeners find you to explore mindset more and a little bit more about your work and what you do?
Catherine Farquharson [00:34:45]:
Well, I have a website, which is mindsetcoaching.ca, because I'm in Canada. So, that's where you can find out, you know, what's happening now kind of thing. And I run lots of little short programs, and then I also run a yearlong program. And so, if people want to try something, they can come for a short program. If they want to really, like, do an overhaul of self or going for goals or wanting support for when there's faltering. So, sometimes people want to come in for that launch feeling like I'm taking off now, and then other people know that when you take off, you have setbacks. And so, you just like to set yourself up to be in a space where you get the support and the learning that you need as you go along. So, it sort of depends on where people are at. And I have an Instagram, catherine_farquharson.
Diane Schroeder [00:35:39]:
Awesome. I will put all of that in the show notes. Catherine, thank you so much for sharing and such a wonderful conversation. I've learned a lot, that always makes me happy, and I'm sure my listeners have learned a lot as well. And I just really appreciate you taking the time to chat with us today.
Catherine Farquharson [00:35:55]:
Thanks. I'm so happy to be on this podcast, and I'm so happy to speak with you and your community.
Diane Schroeder [00:36:00]:
Thank you so much. Another great conversation. Thank you for giving the valuable gift of your time and listening to The Fire Inside Her podcast. Speaking of value, one of the most common potholes we fall into on the journey to authenticity is not recognizing our value. So, I created a workbook. It's all about value. Head on over to thefireinsideher.com/value to get your free workbook that will help you remember your value. Until next time, my friend.
