WEBVTT
00:00:00.959 --> 00:00:08.480
Hello, my name is Becca Stackhouse Morrison, and I am ready for you to tune in each episode to hear ways to become you.
00:00:09.199 --> 00:00:18.239
Looking at ways you can be your authentic and intentional self, you'll finish each episode motivated to live life more authentically.
00:00:18.399 --> 00:00:26.559
I learned how to be truly me through relationships, chronic disease, finances, and taking each journey along the way.
00:00:26.800 --> 00:00:29.199
Talk about the real aspects of life?
00:00:29.519 --> 00:00:30.399
Of course.
00:00:30.719 --> 00:00:37.359
Relationships, finance, nutrition, hardships, exercise are all topics that we will discuss.
00:00:37.679 --> 00:00:46.640
Pull up a seat, drive safely down the road, or get into that workout groove to be challenged, motivated, and encouraged to be you.
00:00:46.960 --> 00:00:50.640
This is the Stacked Intent Podcast.
00:00:52.079 --> 00:00:52.880
Welcome back.
00:00:52.960 --> 00:00:57.119
I am Becca Stackhouse Morrison, your host of Stacked Intent.
00:00:57.359 --> 00:01:01.520
And we are on our third episode of the self-care arc.
00:01:01.759 --> 00:01:11.599
The last two weeks we've laid the groundwork of what self-love is, where self-love starts, how to protect it in a world that wants to profit from your self-doubt.
00:01:11.840 --> 00:01:14.480
So today we're going to get practical.
00:01:14.719 --> 00:01:22.239
Because here's what I believe is that self-love is not primarily something you feel, but it's something that you do.
00:01:22.480 --> 00:01:28.959
It shows up where it doesn't in the small choices that you make every single day.
00:01:29.200 --> 00:01:49.760
It shows up in whether you honor the commitments that you make to yourself and how you talk to yourself when you make a mistake, and whether you agree to things you don't want to because you're afraid of disappointing someone, and the people that you keep close and the ones that you choose to create distance from.
00:01:50.159 --> 00:02:01.280
Self-love at its most fundamental level is the practice of consistently treating yourself like someone whether treating you well.
00:02:01.840 --> 00:02:08.000
And today we're going to talk about what that can actually look like in your real life.
00:02:09.680 --> 00:02:13.919
So we're going to talk about how self-love can change your decisions.
00:02:14.159 --> 00:02:30.240
This decision most visibly affected by your self-love are the ones of where you're choosing between what you want and what you need, and even what someone else wants from you.
00:02:30.719 --> 00:02:34.719
When self-love is low, you tend to make decisions from fear.
00:02:34.879 --> 00:02:42.080
Fear of disappointing, fear of a conflict, fear of being too much, or fear of not being enough.
00:02:42.400 --> 00:02:46.319
You say yes when you might mean no.
00:02:46.560 --> 00:02:49.360
You take on more than you can carry.
00:02:49.599 --> 00:02:54.800
You prioritize other people's comfort over your own well-being.
00:02:55.120 --> 00:03:01.759
Not because you're generous, but because you don't fully believe that your needs matter as much.
00:03:03.520 --> 00:03:08.400
When self-love is growing, you start to make decisions from a different place.
00:03:08.560 --> 00:03:11.120
You ask, what do I actually want?
00:03:11.919 --> 00:03:13.680
What does this cost me?
00:03:13.919 --> 00:03:15.439
What does it give me?
00:03:15.759 --> 00:03:19.599
Does this align with who I'm trying to be?
00:03:23.199 --> 00:03:25.599
This doesn't mean that you become selfish.
00:03:25.680 --> 00:03:27.919
It means that you become intentional.
00:03:28.400 --> 00:03:40.639
There is a difference between choosing to give because it fills you up and choosing to give because you're afraid of what happened if you don't.
00:03:41.039 --> 00:03:44.639
Self-love creates that distinction for you.
00:03:44.879 --> 00:03:52.639
One of the clearest indicators of self-love level is how you handle some small daily decisions.
00:03:52.879 --> 00:03:54.319
Do you eat lunch?
00:03:54.639 --> 00:03:55.919
Do you take breaks?
00:03:56.159 --> 00:03:57.919
Do you sleep if you're tired?
00:03:58.240 --> 00:04:01.759
Do you spend time on the things that matter to you?
00:04:02.080 --> 00:04:05.840
Or on only the things that matter to everyone else?
00:04:07.280 --> 00:04:18.879
How you feel about yourself determines who you attract, what you tolerate, and what you ask for in your relationship.
00:04:19.360 --> 00:04:28.879
When self-love is low, you tend to accept less than you deserve because some part of you believes that you're not worth it.
00:04:29.199 --> 00:04:39.040
You might stay in a relationship, a friendship, romantic, family dynamics that diminish you, drain you, or constantly make you feel small.
00:04:39.279 --> 00:04:44.240
And you tell yourself you're being loyal, patient, or understanding.
00:04:44.560 --> 00:04:50.879
Self-love doesn't mean that you abandon everyone who's ever been difficult.
00:04:51.040 --> 00:04:57.759
It means that you get honest about which relationships you nourish you and which ones deplete you.
00:04:58.000 --> 00:05:08.079
And you make an intentional choice about how much of you, yourself, that you give in each of those relationships.
00:05:10.160 --> 00:05:28.399
Self-love in relationships also looks like this allowing yourself to be known, not performing the version of yourself you think that people want to see, not hiding the parts of you that feel risky to show, but actually letting someone in.
00:05:29.279 --> 00:05:36.079
Because genuine intimacy with anyone requires that you believe you are worth knowing.
00:05:37.040 --> 00:05:54.720
That you are your full self, not just the one you've curated self, that is something someone else might value, or that picture that someone else might have drawn in their head.
00:05:56.160 --> 00:06:02.000
So this is that belief that starts with you on your self-love journey.
00:06:02.639 --> 00:06:06.560
Self-love changes how you communicate specifically.
00:06:07.439 --> 00:06:12.720
Specifically, it's in your willingness to advocate for yourself.
00:06:13.360 --> 00:06:26.319
People who generally love themselves ask for what they need, they name what isn't wrong, working, they express their feelings without waiting to be asked.
00:06:26.639 --> 00:06:33.680
They say, I disagree, and this isn't okay with me, and I need something different here.
00:06:34.240 --> 00:06:40.319
This isn't incredibly hard for a lot of us.
00:06:41.920 --> 00:06:45.279
This is this is something that's incredibly hard.
00:06:45.439 --> 00:06:46.480
Not isn't, sorry.
00:06:46.720 --> 00:07:02.480
So it don't have this idea that it's not something that is a challenge because we were taught that good people don't ask for too much, that needing things is a burden, that saying that you want something is demanding.
00:07:02.639 --> 00:07:04.000
It's not true.
00:07:04.399 --> 00:07:20.399
But here's what I know unexpressed needs don't just go away, they build up a resentment, they come out sideways, they might erode the relationship that you want to protect the most.
00:07:22.079 --> 00:07:27.759
Advocating for yourself isn't aggressive when it's done with respect.
00:07:28.000 --> 00:07:41.519
It is one of the most loving things that you can do in a relationship because it gives the other person real, real information about who you are and what you need.
00:07:41.680 --> 00:07:47.600
You can't be truly known by someone if you never let them see what you need.
00:07:51.600 --> 00:07:57.040
And self-love isn't what gives you the permission to do that.
00:07:57.519 --> 00:08:04.079
When you believe you're worth showing up for, you'll start showing up for yourself out loud.
00:08:07.839 --> 00:08:09.120
Receiving that love.
00:08:09.199 --> 00:08:11.759
Here's the piece that surprises people.
00:08:12.000 --> 00:08:16.079
Self-love includes letting yourself be loved.
00:08:17.279 --> 00:08:22.160
For a lot of us, receiving is a harder than giving.
00:08:22.560 --> 00:08:34.399
We deflect a compliment, we minimize our achievements, we feel uncomfortable when someone does something genuinely kind for us, and we can't immediately reciprocate it.
00:08:34.879 --> 00:08:39.279
We say you didn't have to do that instead of thank you.
00:08:40.159 --> 00:08:55.360
That deflection is not humility, it's a form of self-erosure, which is a way of saying I'm not actually worth worthy of this care.
00:08:56.879 --> 00:09:03.360
Self-love means that you're practicing receiving, it means that saying thank you and letting it land.
00:09:03.519 --> 00:09:10.879
It means allowing people to show up for you without immediately redirecting or minimizing it.
00:09:11.039 --> 00:09:15.120
It means believing that you are someone worth caring for.
00:09:15.519 --> 00:12:34.480
Not eventually, not once you've done more, but now.com or shoot me a DM.
00:12:34.639 --> 00:12:42.799
I'd love to hear how what would someone who loves themselves do here, how that affects your week this week.
00:12:43.120 --> 00:12:46.799
This is the work, and I am proud of you for doing it.
00:12:47.039 --> 00:13:01.519
So next week we're gonna be closing the self-love arc, and we're gonna talk about daily habits, specific, simple, sustainable practices that can help you build your self-love muscle one a day at a time.
00:13:02.480 --> 00:13:11.120
Now, take this episode from the self-love arc and share it with someone who needs the permission to show up for themselves.
00:13:12.639 --> 00:13:17.440
Look forward to seeing you join us on next week's episode.
00:13:18.320 --> 00:13:22.639
That brings us to the end of this episode of Stacked Intent.
00:13:22.879 --> 00:13:30.559
If you love this episode as much as I did, head on over and rate and subscribe so you will never miss an episode.
00:13:30.720 --> 00:13:33.360
New episodes are gonna be dropped on Thursdays.
00:13:33.519 --> 00:13:39.919
Until then, this is Becca, and don't forget, enrich your life by being intentional.
00:13:41.600 --> 00:13:47.279
This podcast was created, produced, recorded, and edited by Stacked Intense.
00:00:00.959 --> 00:00:08.480
Hello, my name is Becca Stackhouse Morrison, and I am ready for you to tune in each episode to hear ways to become you.
00:00:09.199 --> 00:00:18.239
Looking at ways you can be your authentic and intentional self, you'll finish each episode motivated to live life more authentically.
00:00:18.399 --> 00:00:26.559
I learned how to be truly me through relationships, chronic disease, finances, and taking each journey along the way.
00:00:26.800 --> 00:00:29.199
Talk about the real aspects of life?
00:00:29.519 --> 00:00:30.399
Of course.
00:00:30.719 --> 00:00:37.359
Relationships, finance, nutrition, hardships, exercise are all topics that we will discuss.
00:00:37.679 --> 00:00:46.640
Pull up a seat, drive safely down the road, or get into that workout groove to be challenged, motivated, and encouraged to be you.
00:00:46.960 --> 00:00:50.640
This is the Stacked Intent Podcast.
00:00:52.079 --> 00:00:52.880
Welcome back.
00:00:52.960 --> 00:00:57.119
I am Becca Stackhouse Morrison, your host of Stacked Intent.
00:00:57.359 --> 00:01:01.520
And we are on our third episode of the self-care arc.
00:01:01.759 --> 00:01:11.599
The last two weeks we've laid the groundwork of what self-love is, where self-love starts, how to protect it in a world that wants to profit from your self-doubt.
00:01:11.840 --> 00:01:14.480
So today we're going to get practical.
00:01:14.719 --> 00:01:22.239
Because here's what I believe is that self-love is not primarily something you feel, but it's something that you do.
00:01:22.480 --> 00:01:28.959
It shows up where it doesn't in the small choices that you make every single day.
00:01:29.200 --> 00:01:49.760
It shows up in whether you honor the commitments that you make to yourself and how you talk to yourself when you make a mistake, and whether you agree to things you don't want to because you're afraid of disappointing someone, and the people that you keep close and the ones that you choose to create distance from.
00:01:50.159 --> 00:02:01.280
Self-love at its most fundamental level is the practice of consistently treating yourself like someone whether treating you well.
00:02:01.840 --> 00:02:08.000
And today we're going to talk about what that can actually look like in your real life.
00:02:09.680 --> 00:02:13.919
So we're going to talk about how self-love can change your decisions.
00:02:14.159 --> 00:02:30.240
This decision most visibly affected by your self-love are the ones of where you're choosing between what you want and what you need, and even what someone else wants from you.
00:02:30.719 --> 00:02:34.719
When self-love is low, you tend to make decisions from fear.
00:02:34.879 --> 00:02:42.080
Fear of disappointing, fear of a conflict, fear of being too much, or fear of not being enough.
00:02:42.400 --> 00:02:46.319
You say yes when you might mean no.
00:02:46.560 --> 00:02:49.360
You take on more than you can carry.
00:02:49.599 --> 00:02:54.800
You prioritize other people's comfort over your own well-being.
00:02:55.120 --> 00:03:01.759
Not because you're generous, but because you don't fully believe that your needs matter as much.
00:03:03.520 --> 00:03:08.400
When self-love is growing, you start to make decisions from a different place.
00:03:08.560 --> 00:03:11.120
You ask, what do I actually want?
00:03:11.919 --> 00:03:13.680
What does this cost me?
00:03:13.919 --> 00:03:15.439
What does it give me?
00:03:15.759 --> 00:03:19.599
Does this align with who I'm trying to be?
00:03:23.199 --> 00:03:25.599
This doesn't mean that you become selfish.
00:03:25.680 --> 00:03:27.919
It means that you become intentional.
00:03:28.400 --> 00:03:40.639
There is a difference between choosing to give because it fills you up and choosing to give because you're afraid of what happened if you don't.
00:03:41.039 --> 00:03:44.639
Self-love creates that distinction for you.
00:03:44.879 --> 00:03:52.639
One of the clearest indicators of self-love level is how you handle some small daily decisions.
00:03:52.879 --> 00:03:54.319
Do you eat lunch?
00:03:54.639 --> 00:03:55.919
Do you take breaks?
00:03:56.159 --> 00:03:57.919
Do you sleep if you're tired?
00:03:58.240 --> 00:04:01.759
Do you spend time on the things that matter to you?
00:04:02.080 --> 00:04:05.840
Or on only the things that matter to everyone else?
00:04:07.280 --> 00:04:18.879
How you feel about yourself determines who you attract, what you tolerate, and what you ask for in your relationship.
00:04:19.360 --> 00:04:28.879
When self-love is low, you tend to accept less than you deserve because some part of you believes that you're not worth it.
00:04:29.199 --> 00:04:39.040
You might stay in a relationship, a friendship, romantic, family dynamics that diminish you, drain you, or constantly make you feel small.
00:04:39.279 --> 00:04:44.240
And you tell yourself you're being loyal, patient, or understanding.
00:04:44.560 --> 00:04:50.879
Self-love doesn't mean that you abandon everyone who's ever been difficult.
00:04:51.040 --> 00:04:57.759
It means that you get honest about which relationships you nourish you and which ones deplete you.
00:04:58.000 --> 00:05:08.079
And you make an intentional choice about how much of you, yourself, that you give in each of those relationships.
00:05:10.160 --> 00:05:28.399
Self-love in relationships also looks like this allowing yourself to be known, not performing the version of yourself you think that people want to see, not hiding the parts of you that feel risky to show, but actually letting someone in.
00:05:29.279 --> 00:05:36.079
Because genuine intimacy with anyone requires that you believe you are worth knowing.
00:05:37.040 --> 00:05:54.720
That you are your full self, not just the one you've curated self, that is something someone else might value, or that picture that someone else might have drawn in their head.
00:05:56.160 --> 00:06:02.000
So this is that belief that starts with you on your self-love journey.
00:06:02.639 --> 00:06:06.560
Self-love changes how you communicate specifically.
00:06:07.439 --> 00:06:12.720
Specifically, it's in your willingness to advocate for yourself.
00:06:13.360 --> 00:06:26.319
People who generally love themselves ask for what they need, they name what isn't wrong, working, they express their feelings without waiting to be asked.
00:06:26.639 --> 00:06:33.680
They say, I disagree, and this isn't okay with me, and I need something different here.
00:06:34.240 --> 00:06:40.319
This isn't incredibly hard for a lot of us.
00:06:41.920 --> 00:06:45.279
This is this is something that's incredibly hard.
00:06:45.439 --> 00:06:46.480
Not isn't, sorry.
00:06:46.720 --> 00:07:02.480
So it don't have this idea that it's not something that is a challenge because we were taught that good people don't ask for too much, that needing things is a burden, that saying that you want something is demanding.
00:07:02.639 --> 00:07:04.000
It's not true.
00:07:04.399 --> 00:07:20.399
But here's what I know unexpressed needs don't just go away, they build up a resentment, they come out sideways, they might erode the relationship that you want to protect the most.
00:07:22.079 --> 00:07:27.759
Advocating for yourself isn't aggressive when it's done with respect.
00:07:28.000 --> 00:07:41.519
It is one of the most loving things that you can do in a relationship because it gives the other person real, real information about who you are and what you need.
00:07:41.680 --> 00:07:47.600
You can't be truly known by someone if you never let them see what you need.
00:07:51.600 --> 00:07:57.040
And self-love isn't what gives you the permission to do that.
00:07:57.519 --> 00:08:04.079
When you believe you're worth showing up for, you'll start showing up for yourself out loud.
00:08:07.839 --> 00:08:09.120
Receiving that love.
00:08:09.199 --> 00:08:11.759
Here's the piece that surprises people.
00:08:12.000 --> 00:08:16.079
Self-love includes letting yourself be loved.
00:08:17.279 --> 00:08:22.160
For a lot of us, receiving is a harder than giving.
00:08:22.560 --> 00:08:34.399
We deflect a compliment, we minimize our achievements, we feel uncomfortable when someone does something genuinely kind for us, and we can't immediately reciprocate it.
00:08:34.879 --> 00:08:39.279
We say you didn't have to do that instead of thank you.
00:08:40.159 --> 00:08:55.360
That deflection is not humility, it's a form of self-erosure, which is a way of saying I'm not actually worth worthy of this care.
00:08:56.879 --> 00:09:03.360
Self-love means that you're practicing receiving, it means that saying thank you and letting it land.
00:09:03.519 --> 00:09:10.879
It means allowing people to show up for you without immediately redirecting or minimizing it.
00:09:11.039 --> 00:09:15.120
It means believing that you are someone worth caring for.
00:09:15.519 --> 00:12:34.480
Not eventually, not once you've done more, but now.com or shoot me a DM.
00:12:34.639 --> 00:12:42.799
I'd love to hear how what would someone who loves themselves do here, how that affects your week this week.
00:12:43.120 --> 00:12:46.799
This is the work, and I am proud of you for doing it.
00:12:47.039 --> 00:13:01.519
So next week we're gonna be closing the self-love arc, and we're gonna talk about daily habits, specific, simple, sustainable practices that can help you build your self-love muscle one a day at a time.
00:13:02.480 --> 00:13:11.120
Now, take this episode from the self-love arc and share it with someone who needs the permission to show up for themselves.
00:13:12.639 --> 00:13:17.440
Look forward to seeing you join us on next week's episode.
00:13:18.320 --> 00:13:22.639
That brings us to the end of this episode of Stacked Intent.
00:13:22.879 --> 00:13:30.559
If you love this episode as much as I did, head on over and rate and subscribe so you will never miss an episode.
00:13:30.720 --> 00:13:33.360
New episodes are gonna be dropped on Thursdays.
00:13:33.519 --> 00:13:39.919
Until then, this is Becca, and don't forget, enrich your life by being intentional.
00:13:41.600 --> 00:13:47.279
This podcast was created, produced, recorded, and edited by Stacked Intense.
