Gracefully Assertive (Part 2 of 2): Boundaries, Control, and When to Drop the Grace with Jamie Lee and Sade Curry

When I was a teenager and a member of a church youth group, someone crossed a physical line with me, and when they saw how angry I was, they asked me to lead the group prayer, as if that would pacify me. 

I said no, because that was not the moment for grace, and that story is exactly why Sade Curry and I spent Part 2 of our open discussion stress-testing the framework. 

If gracefully assertive only ever meant staying polite, it would be one more way of telling women to behave, so we dug into where a boundary ends and control begins, what to do about people who genuinely push their way through your door, and when the most effective move is to drop the grace and be blunt, messy, or angry. 

Whether you're asking for a raise from a boss who keeps ignoring your emails or dealing with a bully looking for a target, you'll leave with a clearer sense of which tool to reach for and when.

In this episode, we tackle:

• You are not your job: how does individuation show up at work, and why is managing other people's disappointment not your business?
• When does setting a boundary turn into controlling someone?
• Is asking your boss to find out the maximum raise manipulation, or just a smart request?
• What if some people genuinely are too much, and how can a woman know she's right?
• What can you do when you keep asking for things and keep getting the same result?
• When is it right to drop the grace and be blunt, messy, or angry?

More on this: 

• Watch the full video replay of this episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eun63CwmgOY
• Learn about Sade Curry: https://sadecurry.com/
• Learn about Jamie Lee: https://www.jamieleecoach.com/

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