WEBVTT
00:00:03.839 --> 00:00:07.280
Just a quick note about nostalgia.
00:00:07.679 --> 00:00:30.399
I was uh thinking about nostalgia earlier, making a little coffee, and um in reviving this idea of an audio journal of sorts, I I do a writing journal every day, and I have for I started counting the days from my first day of journaling.
00:00:30.640 --> 00:00:32.399
Let's see what today was.
00:00:33.039 --> 00:00:37.359
Today was day oh Kriminny.
00:00:37.840 --> 00:00:38.880
I thought I wrote it down.
00:00:38.960 --> 00:00:40.000
Oh yeah, here it did.
00:00:40.479 --> 00:00:41.119
It did.
00:00:41.280 --> 00:00:44.479
Today was day 10,877.
00:00:44.560 --> 00:00:47.759
It started in the beginning of February in 1995.
00:00:48.640 --> 00:00:55.600
This is the first time I've done an audio journal, and uh I did it for about a week when I first got to hungry last year.
00:00:55.840 --> 00:00:56.799
Oh shit.
00:00:58.799 --> 00:01:00.320
Coffee malfunction.
00:01:00.560 --> 00:01:03.280
Um did it for about a week.
00:01:03.520 --> 00:01:06.640
Thanksgiving came and went, and then I got sick.
00:01:08.879 --> 00:01:12.319
That's the aero press, it's not some sort of bodily leakage.
00:01:12.719 --> 00:01:13.040
Okay.
00:01:15.200 --> 00:01:28.319
I got sick and then I never revived it, and then I, of course, in the way that we do, my uh scrutinizing mind told myself, who the fuck cares?
00:01:28.400 --> 00:01:29.920
Why are you doing that?
00:01:30.239 --> 00:01:31.120
Don't do it.
00:01:31.280 --> 00:01:35.280
And then I went back and listened, and it's like the content isn't all that great.
00:01:35.439 --> 00:01:38.239
I'll I'll post it on my site and you can see for yourself.
00:01:38.400 --> 00:01:40.640
In fact, if you get this far, you will have seen for yourself.
00:01:40.719 --> 00:01:43.120
It's just idle thoughts.
00:01:43.439 --> 00:01:44.000
Hmm.
00:01:44.640 --> 00:01:45.359
Coffee.
00:01:45.840 --> 00:02:01.439
But as I reviewed, as I listened to those things, I started to get really nostalgic for that time in the cymbalomcas uh apartment, the flat, my first flat when I got here a year ago.
00:02:01.760 --> 00:02:06.000
And I just I wanted to I wanted to kind of hit rewind and go back there.
00:02:06.319 --> 00:02:13.439
And the fact of the matter was the entire time I was there, I was racked with jet lag.
00:02:14.159 --> 00:02:25.280
I was going through a lot of for the first week, and I was going through a lot of the friction that you have to just figure out when you're starting life in a foreign country.
00:02:25.520 --> 00:02:35.919
And then I got sick, and my my illness, the cold I had, carried me all the way to when I moved out of that flat.
00:02:36.000 --> 00:02:41.840
I was only in the flat for three weeks, and it was not the most pleasant of three weeks.
00:02:42.000 --> 00:03:00.800
Um, but gosh, I I have such a nostalgic affection for that time, and I don't really know why, but I heard in one of the recordings, I heard myself making a cup of coffee with the little Nespresso machine, and I just like, oh, that was so cool to have that.
00:03:00.960 --> 00:03:13.520
And it makes me want to go out and get one, but that's totally stupid because it's obviously not about the Nespresso machine, but then it made me think, you know, my day-to-day life right now is good.
00:03:14.000 --> 00:03:27.520
I do carry a lot of, like I I said this morning, it's like I do carry and I have to deal with sort of the anxieties that come with you know holding yourself to account when you basically work for the art.
00:03:27.840 --> 00:03:32.000
In a way, that sounds so pretentious, but you know, I don't work for a boss.
00:03:32.080 --> 00:03:39.360
It's like my overlord is my need to keep creating and keep doing the work, the work side of creating.
00:03:40.080 --> 00:03:56.879
But I need to remind myself, I am going to feel nostalgic in a very short amount of time next year, about this very time, this November, in my Vatsi Ut flat, my Jinjyoshi Utsa flat.
00:03:56.960 --> 00:03:59.120
And yeah, like look around.
00:04:00.000 --> 00:04:01.919
The sensory reveal.
00:04:02.400 --> 00:04:03.280
I don't know.
00:04:03.439 --> 00:04:06.960
It's it's a fucking weird psychological thing.
00:04:08.719 --> 00:04:09.919
But it's kind of nice.
00:04:10.000 --> 00:04:24.480
I would I would rather remember with love and affection the time in that flat than than just like reliving what was challenging me at the time, what was so challenging.
00:04:24.800 --> 00:04:27.920
That's I don't know.
00:04:28.879 --> 00:04:29.519
I don't know.
00:04:29.839 --> 00:04:59.600
And if I the thing, bringing it back to what I was talking about in the beginning, if I crack my journal and go back and read an entry from a year ago in that flat, I'm probably not gonna get, I don't know, I'll try it, but I don't know if I'm gonna get a kindle of nostalgia or if that version of reliving the memory, while less immediate and less intimate, I'm not actually listening to my own voice describe what I'm seeing and feeling, but I'm reading a version of it.
00:05:01.439 --> 00:05:17.040
Ah yields maybe, I'm anticipating, I will take a look and get back to you, but I think that's gonna yield a more direct remembrance of some of the difficulties and whatnot.
00:05:17.199 --> 00:05:27.519
So, in one, you have writing, one form of communication, that once it's committed to the page and your only option to relive it is to read it.
00:05:27.680 --> 00:05:29.920
That's a whole different mental process.
00:05:30.160 --> 00:05:39.199
That I'm not sure that will kindle the nostalgia the same way to a more direct report from that time.
00:05:39.600 --> 00:05:41.439
I really gotta think about that.
00:05:42.240 --> 00:05:44.639
I really gotta kick that around.
00:05:45.519 --> 00:05:48.319
Okay, so here's the deal.
00:05:48.480 --> 00:05:49.839
It's 2.15.
00:05:50.079 --> 00:05:56.560
I worked for a while, paid work, I edited some pages on the novel.
00:05:56.720 --> 00:06:00.639
We're about to get to editing Friday.
00:06:00.800 --> 00:06:08.319
Uh the last three sections of the novel are Fry Thursday, Friday, Saturday, as opposed to chapter headings.
00:06:08.399 --> 00:06:20.000
Well, those are the chapter headings, and Saturday is really when it all happens, and I'm about to shift on to that final day, which will probably be about 50 pages if I had to guess, and then I'll write the epilogue.
00:06:20.240 --> 00:06:22.399
But anyway, that's what I'm up to today.
00:06:22.480 --> 00:06:34.560
But then in about an hour, I'm gonna go down to the film festival and I'm gonna watch some Hungarian shorts, and then there's another film called Crips, which is not about uh Los Angeles, South Los Angeles gangs.
00:06:34.720 --> 00:06:36.959
It's a Hungarian film, and I don't really know what it's about.
00:06:37.040 --> 00:06:39.439
I forgot, but I have that reserved.
00:06:39.600 --> 00:06:47.920
And then a friend of mine's wife, a friend of mine from Kiev, his wife's film is playing at 9 or 9:30.
00:06:48.160 --> 00:06:48.879
Nine o'clock.
00:06:49.120 --> 00:06:49.759
Nine o'clock.
00:06:49.920 --> 00:06:50.959
Which is late for me.
00:06:51.040 --> 00:06:54.399
It's gonna be past my bedtime, but I'm gonna go watch that as well.
00:06:56.160 --> 00:06:58.000
Ah, coffee.
00:06:58.240 --> 00:07:06.560
Yeah, so anyway, here's to next year's nostalgia today.
00:07:07.439 --> 00:07:08.160
Goodbye.
00:07:08.319 --> 00:07:09.279
I love you.
00:00:03.839 --> 00:00:07.280
Just a quick note about nostalgia.
00:00:07.679 --> 00:00:30.399
I was uh thinking about nostalgia earlier, making a little coffee, and um in reviving this idea of an audio journal of sorts, I I do a writing journal every day, and I have for I started counting the days from my first day of journaling.
00:00:30.640 --> 00:00:32.399
Let's see what today was.
00:00:33.039 --> 00:00:37.359
Today was day oh Kriminny.
00:00:37.840 --> 00:00:38.880
I thought I wrote it down.
00:00:38.960 --> 00:00:40.000
Oh yeah, here it did.
00:00:40.479 --> 00:00:41.119
It did.
00:00:41.280 --> 00:00:44.479
Today was day 10,877.
00:00:44.560 --> 00:00:47.759
It started in the beginning of February in 1995.
00:00:48.640 --> 00:00:55.600
This is the first time I've done an audio journal, and uh I did it for about a week when I first got to hungry last year.
00:00:55.840 --> 00:00:56.799
Oh shit.
00:00:58.799 --> 00:01:00.320
Coffee malfunction.
00:01:00.560 --> 00:01:03.280
Um did it for about a week.
00:01:03.520 --> 00:01:06.640
Thanksgiving came and went, and then I got sick.
00:01:08.879 --> 00:01:12.319
That's the aero press, it's not some sort of bodily leakage.
00:01:12.719 --> 00:01:13.040
Okay.
00:01:15.200 --> 00:01:28.319
I got sick and then I never revived it, and then I, of course, in the way that we do, my uh scrutinizing mind told myself, who the fuck cares?
00:01:28.400 --> 00:01:29.920
Why are you doing that?
00:01:30.239 --> 00:01:31.120
Don't do it.
00:01:31.280 --> 00:01:35.280
And then I went back and listened, and it's like the content isn't all that great.
00:01:35.439 --> 00:01:38.239
I'll I'll post it on my site and you can see for yourself.
00:01:38.400 --> 00:01:40.640
In fact, if you get this far, you will have seen for yourself.
00:01:40.719 --> 00:01:43.120
It's just idle thoughts.
00:01:43.439 --> 00:01:44.000
Hmm.
00:01:44.640 --> 00:01:45.359
Coffee.
00:01:45.840 --> 00:02:01.439
But as I reviewed, as I listened to those things, I started to get really nostalgic for that time in the cymbalomcas uh apartment, the flat, my first flat when I got here a year ago.
00:02:01.760 --> 00:02:06.000
And I just I wanted to I wanted to kind of hit rewind and go back there.
00:02:06.319 --> 00:02:13.439
And the fact of the matter was the entire time I was there, I was racked with jet lag.
00:02:14.159 --> 00:02:25.280
I was going through a lot of for the first week, and I was going through a lot of the friction that you have to just figure out when you're starting life in a foreign country.
00:02:25.520 --> 00:02:35.919
And then I got sick, and my my illness, the cold I had, carried me all the way to when I moved out of that flat.
00:02:36.000 --> 00:02:41.840
I was only in the flat for three weeks, and it was not the most pleasant of three weeks.
00:02:42.000 --> 00:03:00.800
Um, but gosh, I I have such a nostalgic affection for that time, and I don't really know why, but I heard in one of the recordings, I heard myself making a cup of coffee with the little Nespresso machine, and I just like, oh, that was so cool to have that.
00:03:00.960 --> 00:03:13.520
And it makes me want to go out and get one, but that's totally stupid because it's obviously not about the Nespresso machine, but then it made me think, you know, my day-to-day life right now is good.
00:03:14.000 --> 00:03:27.520
I do carry a lot of, like I I said this morning, it's like I do carry and I have to deal with sort of the anxieties that come with you know holding yourself to account when you basically work for the art.
00:03:27.840 --> 00:03:32.000
In a way, that sounds so pretentious, but you know, I don't work for a boss.
00:03:32.080 --> 00:03:39.360
It's like my overlord is my need to keep creating and keep doing the work, the work side of creating.
00:03:40.080 --> 00:03:56.879
But I need to remind myself, I am going to feel nostalgic in a very short amount of time next year, about this very time, this November, in my Vatsi Ut flat, my Jinjyoshi Utsa flat.
00:03:56.960 --> 00:03:59.120
And yeah, like look around.
00:04:00.000 --> 00:04:01.919
The sensory reveal.
00:04:02.400 --> 00:04:03.280
I don't know.
00:04:03.439 --> 00:04:06.960
It's it's a fucking weird psychological thing.
00:04:08.719 --> 00:04:09.919
But it's kind of nice.
00:04:10.000 --> 00:04:24.480
I would I would rather remember with love and affection the time in that flat than than just like reliving what was challenging me at the time, what was so challenging.
00:04:24.800 --> 00:04:27.920
That's I don't know.
00:04:28.879 --> 00:04:29.519
I don't know.
00:04:29.839 --> 00:04:59.600
And if I the thing, bringing it back to what I was talking about in the beginning, if I crack my journal and go back and read an entry from a year ago in that flat, I'm probably not gonna get, I don't know, I'll try it, but I don't know if I'm gonna get a kindle of nostalgia or if that version of reliving the memory, while less immediate and less intimate, I'm not actually listening to my own voice describe what I'm seeing and feeling, but I'm reading a version of it.
00:05:01.439 --> 00:05:17.040
Ah yields maybe, I'm anticipating, I will take a look and get back to you, but I think that's gonna yield a more direct remembrance of some of the difficulties and whatnot.
00:05:17.199 --> 00:05:27.519
So, in one, you have writing, one form of communication, that once it's committed to the page and your only option to relive it is to read it.
00:05:27.680 --> 00:05:29.920
That's a whole different mental process.
00:05:30.160 --> 00:05:39.199
That I'm not sure that will kindle the nostalgia the same way to a more direct report from that time.
00:05:39.600 --> 00:05:41.439
I really gotta think about that.
00:05:42.240 --> 00:05:44.639
I really gotta kick that around.
00:05:45.519 --> 00:05:48.319
Okay, so here's the deal.
00:05:48.480 --> 00:05:49.839
It's 2.15.
00:05:50.079 --> 00:05:56.560
I worked for a while, paid work, I edited some pages on the novel.
00:05:56.720 --> 00:06:00.639
We're about to get to editing Friday.
00:06:00.800 --> 00:06:08.319
Uh the last three sections of the novel are Fry Thursday, Friday, Saturday, as opposed to chapter headings.
00:06:08.399 --> 00:06:20.000
Well, those are the chapter headings, and Saturday is really when it all happens, and I'm about to shift on to that final day, which will probably be about 50 pages if I had to guess, and then I'll write the epilogue.
00:06:20.240 --> 00:06:22.399
But anyway, that's what I'm up to today.
00:06:22.480 --> 00:06:34.560
But then in about an hour, I'm gonna go down to the film festival and I'm gonna watch some Hungarian shorts, and then there's another film called Crips, which is not about uh Los Angeles, South Los Angeles gangs.
00:06:34.720 --> 00:06:36.959
It's a Hungarian film, and I don't really know what it's about.
00:06:37.040 --> 00:06:39.439
I forgot, but I have that reserved.
00:06:39.600 --> 00:06:47.920
And then a friend of mine's wife, a friend of mine from Kiev, his wife's film is playing at 9 or 9:30.
00:06:48.160 --> 00:06:48.879
Nine o'clock.
00:06:49.120 --> 00:06:49.759
Nine o'clock.
00:06:49.920 --> 00:06:50.959
Which is late for me.
00:06:51.040 --> 00:06:54.399
It's gonna be past my bedtime, but I'm gonna go watch that as well.
00:06:56.160 --> 00:06:58.000
Ah, coffee.
00:06:58.240 --> 00:07:06.560
Yeah, so anyway, here's to next year's nostalgia today.
00:07:07.439 --> 00:07:08.160
Goodbye.
00:07:08.319 --> 00:07:09.279
I love you.
