Breaking Point - James Edwin Gunn

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Chapter one of Breaking Point. This is a LibriVox recording.
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All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more
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information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox dot org. Recording
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by Peter Eastman. Breaking Point by James Edwin Gunn, Chapter one.
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They sent the advance unit out to scout the new
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planet in the Ambassador, homing down on the secret beeping
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of a featureless box dropped by an earlier survey party.
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Then they sat back at g h Q and began
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the same old pattern of worry that followed every advance unit.
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Not about the ship. The Ambassador was a perfect machine, automatic,
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self adjusting, self regulating. It was built to last and
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do its without failure under any and all conditions. As
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long as there was a universe around it and it
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could not fail, there was no question about that. But
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an advance unit is composed of men. The factors of
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safety are indeterminable. The duplications of their internal mechanisms are
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conjectural variable. The strength of the unit is the sum
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of the strengths of its members. The weakness of the
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unit can be a single small failing in a single
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man beep boop, gotcha, said Ives Ives was communications. He
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had quick eyes, quick hands. He was huge, almost gross,
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but graceful. On the nose, he grinned and turned up
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the beep boob. What else do you expect, said Johnny.
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Johnny was the pilot, young, wide, flat. His movements were
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as controlled and decisive as those of the ship itself,
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in which he had an unshakable faith. He slid into
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the bucket seat before the great master console. Beep boob.
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We expect the ship to do her job, said Hoskins,
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the engineer. He was mild and deft, middle aged, with
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a domed head and wide, light blue eyes behind old
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fashioned spectacles. He shared Johnny's belief in the machine, but
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through understanding rather than through admiration. But it's always good
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to see her do it. Beep boob. Beautiful, said Captain
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Andersen softly. And he may have been talking about the
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way the ship was homing in on the tiny featureless
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box that survey had dropped on the unexplored planet, or
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about the planet itself, or even about the smooth integration
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of his crew. Bieb boob. Parisee said nothing. He had
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eyebrows and nostrils as sensitive as a radar scope, and
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masked eyes of a luminous black faces and motives were
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to him what gauges and log entries were to the engineer.
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Parisee was the doctor, and he had many a salve
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and many a splint for invisible ills. He saw everything
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and understood much. He leaned against the bulkhead, his gaze
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flicking from one to the other of the crew. Occasionally,
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his small mustache twitched, like the antennae of a cat
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watching a bird, barely audible, faint as the blue outline
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of a distant hill, hungry and lost, as the half
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heard cry of a banshee came the thin sound of
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high atmosphere against the ship's hull. An hour passed, Bu
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bu bu bup shut that damn thing off. Ives looked
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up at the pilot. Startled, he turned the game down
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to a whisper. PERESI left the bulkhead and stood behind Johnny.
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What's the matter, he asked. His voice was feline too,
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a sort of purr. Johnny looked up at him quickly
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and grinned, I can put her down, he said, That's
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what I'm here for. I like to think maybe I'll
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get to do it, that's all. I can't think that
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with the autopilot lasting out and en course, he punched
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the veering jet controls. It served men perfectly. The ship
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ignored him. Homed on the beam, the ship computed velocity, altitude, gravity,
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magnetic polarization, windage, used, and balanced and adjusted for them all.
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It adjusted for interference from the manual controls. It served
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men perfectly. It ignored them utterly. Johnny turned to look
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out and downward. Praise's gaze followed. It was a beautiful planet,
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perhaps a shade greener than the blue green of Earth.
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It seemed indefinably more park like than wild. It had
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an air of controlled lushness and peace. The breaking jets
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thundered as Johnny depressed a control. Praise nodded slightly as
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he saw the pilot's hand move, for he knew that
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the autopile had done it, and that Johnny's movement was
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one of trained reflex. The youngster was intense and alert,
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hair trigger schooled, taught to pretend in such a detail
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that the pretense was reality to him, a precise pretense
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that would become reality for all of them if the
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machine failed. But of course the machine would not fail.
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Fields fled beneath them looking like a crazy quilt in
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pastel on them. Nothing moved. Hoskins moved to the viewport
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and watched them mildly. Very pastoral, he said. Pretty. They
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haven't gotten very far, said Ives. Or they've gotten very far, indeed,
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said Captain Andersen. Johnny snorted, no factories, no bridges, cow
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tracks and goat paths. The captain chuckled. Some cultures go
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through in a grarian stage to reach a technological civilization,
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and some passed through technology to reach the pastoral. I
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don't see it, said Johnny, shortly, eyes ahead. Parise's hand
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touched the Captain's arm, and the captain then said nothing.
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Wing stand by for landing, said the captain. Ives and
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Hoskins went aft to the shock panels in the after
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bulkhead peresee and the captain stepped into niches flanking the console.
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Johnny touched a control that freed his chair in its
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hydraulic gimbals. Chair and niches and shock panels would not
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be needed as long as the artificial gravity and inertiless
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field functioned. It was a ritual. The ship skimmed tree tops,
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heading phlegmatically for a rocky bluff. A gush of flame
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from its under jets, and it shouldered heavily upward, just
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missing the jagged crest. A gout of fire, forward another,
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and it went into a long, flat glide following the
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fall of a foothill to the plain beyond. It held
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coarse and reduced speed, letting the ground billow up to
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it rather than descending. There was a moment of almost flight,
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almost sliding, and at a rush of dust and smoke
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which overtook and passed them. When it cleared they were
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part of the plane, part of the planet. A good landing,
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John Peresee said. Hoskins caught his eye and frowned. Peise
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He grinned broadly, and the exchange between them was clear.
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Why do you needle the kid and quiet engine room?
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I know what I'm doing. Hoskins shrugged and with ives
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crossed to the communications desk. Ives ran his fat, skilled
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hands over the controls and peered at his indicators. It's
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more than a good landing, he grunted. That squeak box
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we homed in on can't be more than a hundred
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meters from here. First time I've ever seen a ship
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bull's eye like that. Johnny locked his gimbals, ran a steady,
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sensitive hand over the turn of the console, as if
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it were a woman's flank. Why how close do you
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usually come? Planet falls? Close enough to satisfy survey, said
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the captain. Once in a while the box will materialize
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conveniently on a continent. But this, this is too good
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to be true. We practically landed on it. Hoskins nodded.
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It's usually buried in some jungle or at the bottom
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of a sea. But this is really all right. What
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a line up? Point nine to eight earth gravity Earth
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type atmosphere ar gone, rich, said ives from the panel,
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Very rich, that'll make no real difference. Hoskins went on.
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Temperature about normal for an early summer back home. Looks
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as if there's a fiendish plot of foot here to
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make things easy for us. Peise said, as if to himself,
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I worry about easy things. Yeah, I know, snorted Johnny,
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rising to stretch. The headshrinker always does it the hard way.
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You can't just dislike rice pudding. It has to be
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a sister syndrome. If the shortest distance is from here
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to there, don't take it. Remember your uncle Oedipus. Captain
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Anderson chuckled, cut your jets Johnny. Maybe Piise's tortuous reasoning
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does seem out of order on such an ice day,
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But remember, eternal vigilance isn't just the price of liberty,
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as the old books say, it's the price of existence.
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We know we're here, but we don't know where here is,
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and won't until after we get back. This is really
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terra incognita. The location of Earth, or even of our
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part of the galaxy, is something that has to be
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concealed at all costs until we're sure we're not going
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to turn up that potentially dangerous, possibly superior alien culture.
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What we don't know can't hurt Earth. No conceivable method
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could get that information out of us any more than
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it could be had from the squeak box that survey
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dropped here. Base all your thinking on that, Johnny. If
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that seems like leaning over backwards, it's only a sample
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of how careful we've got to be, how many angles
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we've got to figure Hell, said the pilot, I know
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all that. I was just ribbing the batsnature here. He
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thumbed a cigarette out of his tunic, touched his lighter
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to it. He frowned, stared at the lighter, tried it again,
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it doesn't work, damn it, he barked explosively. I don't
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like things that don't work. Peisey was beside him, catlike watchful.
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Here's a light. Take it easy, Johnny. A bottom lighter
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is not that important. Johnny looked sullenly at his lighter.
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It doesn't work, he muttered, guaranteed too. When we get back,
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I'm going to feed it to supply. He made a
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vivid gesture to describe the feeding technique and jammed the
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lighter back into his pocket. Eh Ive's heavy voice came
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from the communications desk. Maybe the natives are primitives at that.
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Not a whisper of any radio on any band, no
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power line fields either. These are plowboys for sure. Johnny
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looked out at the sleeping valley. His irritation over the
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lighter was still in his voice. Imagine that, no video
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or trideo, no jet races or feelies. What do people
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do with their time in a place like this, books,
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said Hoskins, almost absently. Chess conversation. I don't know what
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chess is in Conversation's great if you want to tell
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somebody something like bring me a steak, said Johnny. Let's
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get out of this fire trap, he said to the
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captain in time, said the Captain, Ives, Dx those radio frequencies.
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If there's so much as a smell of radiation, even
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from the other side of this planet, we want to
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know about it. Hoskins, check the landing suits, food, water, oxygen, radio,
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everything Earth type planet or no, we're not fooling with
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alien viruses, Johnny. I want you to survey this valley
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in every way you can and plot a minimum of
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three take off factors. The crew fell to work Ives
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and Hoskins intently. Johnny off handedly, as if he were
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playing out a ritual with some children. Piise bent over
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a stereo microscope, manipulating controls which brought in samples of
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airborne bacteria and fungi and placed them under its objective.
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Captain Anderson ranged up beside him. We could walk out
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of the ship as if we were on morock Port,
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said Peresee, these couldn't be more like Earth organisms if
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they'd been transplanted from home to delude us. The captain laughed.
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Sometimes I tend to agree with Johnny. I never met
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a more suspicious character. How'd you ever bring yourself to
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sign your contract? Turned my back on a couple of clauses,
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said peese, here, have a look. At that moment, the
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usually imperturbable Eves uttered a sharp grunt that echoed and
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re echoed through the cabin. Periese and the captain turned.
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Hoskins was just coming out of the after alleyway with
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an oxygen bottle in his hand, and had frozen in
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his tracks as the sharp sound Ives had made. Johnny
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had whipped around as if the grunt had been a
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lion's roar. His back was to the bulkhead, his lean,
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long frame tensed for fight or flight. It was indescribable
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Ive's grunt, and it was the only sound which could
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have had such an effect on such a variety of men.
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The same, shocked immobility, Ives sat over his communications desk,
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as if hypnotized by it. He moved, moved one great
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arm forward, almost reluctantly, and turned a knob. A soft,
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smooth hum filled the room, Carrier said Ives. Then the
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words came. They were English words, faultlessly spoken, loud and
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clear and precise. They were harmless words, pleasant words even.
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They were men of Earth, Welcome to our planet. The
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voice hung in the air. The words stuck in the silence,
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like insects wriggling upon a pin. Then the voice was gone,
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and the silence was complete and heavy. The carrier hum
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ceased with a spine tingling brief blaze of high frequency sound.
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Hoskins's oxygen bottle hit the steel deck. Then they all
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began to breathe again. There's your farmer's, Johnny said, peresee
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knight to Bishop's third, said Hoskin softly. What's that, demanded Johnny.
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Chess again, said the captain, appreciatively, an opening gambit. Johnny
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put a cigarette to his lips, tried his lighter. Damn,
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give me a light, ives, Ives complied, sang over his
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big shoulder to the captain. In case you wondered, there
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was no fix on that. My direction finders indicate that
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the signal came simultaneously from forty odd transmitters placed in
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a circle around the ship, which is their way of saying,
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I dunno. The captain walked to the view bubble in
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front of the console and peered around. He saw the valley,
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the warm light of mid afternoon, the two green slopes,
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and the blue green distances, trees, rocks, a balancing bird.
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It doesn't work, muttered Johnny. The captain ignored him. Men
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of Earth. He quoted ives. They've gotten into Survey's squeak
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box and analyzed its origin. They know all about us.
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They don't because they can't, said Ives flatly. Survey traverses
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those boxes through second order space. They materialize near a
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planet and drop in. No computation on Earth or off
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It could trace their normal space trajectory, let alone what
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happens in the second order condition. The elements the boxes
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made of are carefully averaged isotopic forms that could have
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come from any of nine galaxies we know about, and
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probably more. And all it does is throw out a
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vuhf signal that says beep on one side, boop on
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the other, and buck up in between. He does not
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speak English, mentioned the planet Earth announce anyone's arrival in
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purpose or teach etiquette. Captain Anderson spread his hands. They
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got it from somewhere. They didn't get it from us.
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This ship and the box are the only Terran objects
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on this planet. Therefore they got their information from the box.
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Q ed you reason like Euclid, said pirese admiringly. But
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don't forget that geometry is an artificial school based on
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arbitrary axioms. It just doesn't work where the shortest distance
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is not a straight line. I'd suggest we gather evidence
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and postpone our conclusions. How do you think they got it,
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i'ves challenged. I think we can operate from the fact
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they got it and make our analyzes when we have
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more data. Ives went back to his desk and threw
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a switch. What are you doing, asked the captain. Don't
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you think they ought to be answered? Turn it off, Ives,
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But turn it off, Ives did. An expedition is an informal,
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highly democratic group and can afford to be for when
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the situation calls for it. There is never any question
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of where authority lies, the captain said. There is nothing
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we can say to them which won't yield them more information.
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Nothing For all we know, it may be very important
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to them to learn whether or not we received their message.
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Our counter move is obviously to make no move at all.
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You mean just sit here and wait until they do
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something else, asked Johnny. Appalled, the captain thumped his shoulder.
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Don't worry, we'll do something in some other area than communications, Hoskins.
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Are those landing suits ready all but wrapped Hoskins. He
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scooped up the oxygen bottle and disappeared. Praise said, we'll
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tell them something. If we don't answer, The captain set
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his jaw. We do what we can, Nick, We do
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the best we can. Got any better ideas, Perisee shrugged
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easily and smiled, just knocking skipper knock everything. Then what's
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hollow you know about? I should know better than to
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jump salty with you, said the captain, all but returning
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the doctor's smile. Johnny Hoskins, prepare for exploratory patrol. I'll go,
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said Peisee. Johnny goes, said the captain bluently, because it's
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his first trip, and because if he isn't given something
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to do, he'll bust as adrenals. Hoskins goes. Because of
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all of us, the engineer is most expendable. I've stays
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because we need hair trigger communications. I stay to correlate
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what goes on outside with what goes on inside. You
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stay because if anything goes wrong, I'd rather have you
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fixing the men up than find myself trying to fix
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you up. He squidted at PIRESI does that knock solid
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solid testing, Johnny, I've said into a microphone. Johnny's duplicated voice,
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from the open face plate of his helmet and from
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the intercom speaker said, I hear you fine, testing Hoskins.
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If I'd never seen you, said the speaker softly, I
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think you are right here in the suit with me.
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Hoskins helmet was obviously buttoned up. The two men came
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shuffling into the cabin, look like gleaming ghosts in their
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chameleon suits, which repeated the color of the walls. Someday,
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00:23:07.000 --> 00:23:09.720
growled Johnny. There'll be a type suit, or you can
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scratch your scratch when you get back, said the captain.
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Now hear this, Johnny, you can move fastest. You go
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out first, wait in the airlock for thirty seconds after
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the outer port opens. When ives gives you the beep,
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jump out, run around the boughs, and plant your back
298
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against the hole directly opposite the port. Hold your blaster
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at the ready aimed down you hear me down, so
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that any observer will know you're armed but not attacking Hoskins.
301
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You'll be in the lock with the outer port open
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by that time. When Johnny gives the all clear, you'll
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jump out and put your back against the hole by
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the port. Then you'll both stay where you are until
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you get further orders. Is that clear? I yep, You're
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covered adequately from the ship. Don't fire without orders. There's
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nothing you can get with a blaster that we can't
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get first with a projector, unless it happens to be
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within ten meters of the hull, and we can't depress
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to it. Even then, describe it first and await orders
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to fire, except in really extreme emergency. A single shot
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at the wrong time can set us back a thousand
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years with this planet. Remember that the ship isn't called
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Killer or Warrior or even Hero. It's the earth Ship Ambassador.
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Go to it and good lock. Hoskins stepped back and
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waved Johnny past him. After you jets, Johnny's teeth flashed
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behind the face plate. He clicked his heels and bowed
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stiffly from the waist in a fine burlesque of an
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ancient courtier. He stalked past Hoskins and punched the button
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which controlled the air lock. They waited nothing. Johnny frowned,
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00:25:04.599 --> 00:25:10.160
jabbed the button again and again. The captain started to speak,
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then fell watchfully silent. Johnny reached toward the button, touched it,
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then struck it savagely. He stepped back, then one foot
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striking the other, like that of a clumsy child. He
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turned partially to the others. In his voice, as it
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came from the speaker across the room, was a deep
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amazement that rang like the opening chords of a prophetic
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and gloomy symphony. He said, the port won't open. End
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of chapter one, chapter two of Breaking Point by James
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Edwin Gunn. This LibriVox recording is in the public domain
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recording by Peter Eastman, Chapter two. The extremes of mysticism
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and of pragmatism have their own expressions of worship. Each
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has its form, and the difference between them is the
334
00:26:19.240 --> 00:26:26.240
difference between Deus ex machina and deus machina. Est e
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hunter Waldo. Of course it will open, said Hoskins. He
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strode past the stunned pilot and confidently palmed the control.
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The port didn't open, Hoskins said, hum as if he
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00:26:47.000 --> 00:26:54.519
had been asked an inaudible question, and tried again. Nothing happened. Skipper,
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00:26:54.880 --> 00:26:57.759
he said, over his shoulder, have a quick look at
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00:26:57.759 --> 00:27:00.920
the meters behind you. There are we getting auxiliary power.
341
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All well here, said Andersen, after a glance at the
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00:27:05.720 --> 00:27:12.599
board and no shorts showing. There was a silence punctuated
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by the soft, useless clicking of the control as Hoskins
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manipulated it. Well, what do you know, it won't work,
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00:27:22.880 --> 00:27:29.039
said Johnny, plaintively. Sure it'll work, said Pirasee, swiftly, confidently.
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Take it easy, Johnny. It won't work, said Johnny. It
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won't work. He stumbled across the cabin and leaned against
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the opposite bulkhead, staring at the closed port with his
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head a little to one side, as if he expected
350
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it to shriek at him. Let me try, said ives,
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going to Hoskins. He put out his hand. Don't, Johnny cried,
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Shut up, Johnny said, piresee all right, Nick, said Johnny.
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He opened his face plate, went to the rear bulkhead,
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keyed open an acceleration couch and lay face down on it.
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Piisee watched him, his lips pursed. Can't say I blame him,
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said the captain, softly, catching Peresee's eye. It's something of
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a shock. This shouldn't be. The safety factor's too great,
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a thousand percent or better. I know what you mean,
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00:28:34.720 --> 00:28:38.839
said Hoskins. I saw it myself, but I don't believe it.
360
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He pushed the button again. I believe it, said peresee.
361
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Ives went to his desk, clicked the transmitter and receiver
362
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switches on and off, moved a rheostat or two. He
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00:28:55.079 --> 00:28:57.920
reached up to a wall toggle, turned a small air
364
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circulating fan on it off. Everything else seems to work,
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00:29:02.759 --> 00:29:08.920
he said absently. This is ridiculous, exploded the captain. It's
366
00:29:09.160 --> 00:29:12.359
like having your keys home, or arriving at the theater
367
00:29:12.519 --> 00:29:20.359
without your tickets. It isn't dangerous, it's just stupid. It's dangerous,
368
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said Pisee. Dangerous, how Ives demanded. For one thing, Piisee
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nodded toward Johnny, who lay tensely his face hidden. For another,
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the simple calculation that if nothing inside this ship made
371
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that control fail, something outside this ship did it, and
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that I don't like that couldn't happen, said the captain reasonably,
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00:29:51.480 --> 00:29:57.480
piraise snorted impatiently. Which of two mutually exclusive facts are
374
00:29:57.519 --> 00:30:00.799
you going to reason from that the ship can't fail?
375
00:30:01.400 --> 00:30:04.960
Then this failure isn't a failure, it's an external control?
376
00:30:05.920 --> 00:30:08.200
Or are you going to reason that the ship can
377
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fail then you don't have to worry about an external force,
378
00:30:12.799 --> 00:30:16.400
but you can't trust anything about the ship. Do the
379
00:30:16.480 --> 00:30:20.319
trick that makes you happy, but do only one. You
380
00:30:20.480 --> 00:30:29.680
can't have both. Johnny began to laugh. Ives went to him,
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00:30:30.559 --> 00:30:34.559
Hey boy, Johnny rolled over, swung his feet down, and
382
00:30:34.599 --> 00:30:39.599
sat up, brushing the fat man aside. What you guys need,
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00:30:40.039 --> 00:30:43.119
Johnny chuckled, is a nice kind policeman to feed you
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candy and take you home. You're real lost, I've said, Johnny,
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00:30:49.839 --> 00:30:52.680
take it easy and be quiet. Huh, we'll figure a
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00:30:52.680 --> 00:30:58.720
way out of this. I already have scrawny, said Johnny offensively.
387
00:31:00.200 --> 00:31:03.720
He got up strode to the port. What a bunch
388
00:31:03.759 --> 00:31:08.759
of dead heads, he growled. He went two steps past
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00:31:08.799 --> 00:31:12.039
the port and grasped the control wheel, which was mounted
390
00:31:12.079 --> 00:31:14.119
on the other side of the port from the button.
391
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Oh my god, breathed Andersen delightedly. The manual anybody else
392
00:31:22.440 --> 00:31:27.839
want to be captain factor of safety, said Hoskins, smiting
393
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himself on the brow. There's a manual control for everything
394
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on the scow that there can be, and we stand
395
00:31:34.119 --> 00:31:37.839
here staring at it. If we don't win the fur
396
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lined tea cup, Ives laughed Johnny hauled on the wheel.
397
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It wouldn't budge here. Ives began to approach. Get away,
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said Johnny. He put his hands close together on the
399
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rim of the wheel, settled his big shoulders, and haul
400
00:32:01.400 --> 00:32:05.839
With a sharp crack, the wheel broke off in his hands.
401
00:32:07.440 --> 00:32:12.880
Johnny staggered, then stood. He looked at the wheel, and
402
00:32:12.960 --> 00:32:15.839
then up at the broken end of its shaft, gleaming
403
00:32:15.960 --> 00:32:22.960
deep below the surface of the bulkhead. Oh fine, Ives whispered.
404
00:32:26.559 --> 00:32:30.640
Suddenly Johnny threw back his head and loosened a burst
405
00:32:30.759 --> 00:32:35.640
of high, hysterical laughter. It echoed back and forth between
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00:32:35.640 --> 00:32:38.599
the metal walls, like a torrent from a burst dam.
407
00:32:39.920 --> 00:32:42.519
It went on and on, as if now that the
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dam was gone, the flood would run forever. Andersen called
409
00:32:48.599 --> 00:32:53.119
out Johnny three times, but the note of command had
410
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no effect. Peresei walked to the pilot and with the
411
00:32:57.720 --> 00:33:02.559
immemorial practice, slapped him sho sarply across the cheeks. Johnny,
412
00:33:02.720 --> 00:33:07.880
stop it. The laughter broke off as suddenly as it
413
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had begun. Johnny's chest heaved, drawing in breath with great
414
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rasping near sobs. Slowly they died away. He extended the
415
00:33:19.680 --> 00:33:26.759
wheel towards the captain. It broke off, he said finally, dully,
416
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without emphasis. Then he leaned back against the hole, slowly
417
00:33:33.759 --> 00:33:37.359
slid down until he was sitting on the deck. Broke
418
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right off, he said. Ives twined his fat fingers together
419
00:33:44.599 --> 00:33:50.480
and bent them until the knuckles cracked. Now, what I suggest,
420
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said Peresi, in an extremely controlled tone, that we all
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sit down and think over the whole thing very carefully.
422
00:34:03.000 --> 00:34:06.839
Hoskins had been staring hypnotically at the broken shaft deep
423
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in the wall. I wonder, he said, at length, which
424
00:34:11.360 --> 00:34:17.159
way Johnny turned that wheel counterclockwise? Said Ives? You saw him?
425
00:34:18.360 --> 00:34:22.119
I know that, said Hoskins. I mean which way the
426
00:34:22.239 --> 00:34:28.119
right way or the wrong way? Oh? There was a
427
00:34:28.159 --> 00:34:33.119
short silence. Then Ives said I guess we'll never know now,
428
00:34:34.760 --> 00:34:37.920
not until we get back to earth, said Pirasee quickly.
429
00:34:39.119 --> 00:34:45.599
You say until or unless, Ives demanded. I said until, Ives,
430
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said Pirasee levily, and watched her mouth sometimes, said the
431
00:34:52.239 --> 00:34:56.400
fat man, with a dangerous joviality. You picked the wrong
432
00:34:56.440 --> 00:35:00.719
way to say the right thing, Nick. Then he clapped
433
00:35:00.760 --> 00:35:04.119
the slender doctor on the back. But I'll be good.
434
00:35:04.599 --> 00:35:09.280
We sow no panic seed. Do we much better not to?
435
00:35:09.920 --> 00:35:15.199
Said the Captain, it's been done efficiently enough from outside.
436
00:35:15.400 --> 00:35:19.199
You are convinced it's being done from outside, asked Hoskins,
437
00:35:19.480 --> 00:35:25.559
peering at him owlishly. I'm convinced a very little, said
438
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the captain. Heavily. He went to the acceleration couch and
439
00:35:30.400 --> 00:35:36.559
sat down. I want out, he said. He waved away
440
00:35:36.639 --> 00:35:40.159
the professional comment he could see forming on Piras's lips
441
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and went on, not claustrophobia, Nick, Getting out of the
442
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ships more important than just relieving our feelings. If the
443
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trouble with the port has been caused by some fantastic
444
00:35:51.679 --> 00:35:55.719
something outside the ship, we'll achieve a powerful victory over
445
00:35:55.800 --> 00:36:01.519
it purely by ignoring it. It broke Awe, murmured, Johnny,
446
00:36:02.679 --> 00:36:08.960
ignore that, snorted ives. You keep talking about this thing
447
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being caused by something outside, said Piresy. His tone was
448
00:36:14.519 --> 00:36:24.239
almost complaining. Got a better hypothesis, asked Hoskins. Hoskins said
449
00:36:24.239 --> 00:36:27.039
the captain. Isn't there some way we can get out?
450
00:36:27.440 --> 00:36:31.280
What about the tubes? Take a shipyard to move those
451
00:36:31.320 --> 00:36:35.400
power plants, said Hoskins. And even if it could be done,
452
00:36:35.679 --> 00:36:38.719
those radioactive tubes would fry you before you crawled a
453
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third of the way. We should have a lifeboat, said
454
00:36:43.719 --> 00:36:48.480
ives to no one in particular. What in time does
455
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a ship like the Ambassador need with a lifeboat, asked Hoskins,
456
00:36:52.719 --> 00:37:00.280
in genuine amazement. The captain frowned. What about the ventilators.
457
00:37:00.760 --> 00:37:03.880
Take us days to remove all the screens and purifiers,
458
00:37:04.360 --> 00:37:08.360
said Hoskins, and then we'd be up against the intake ports.
459
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You could stroll out through any of them about as
460
00:37:11.519 --> 00:37:14.960
far as your forearm, and after that it's whole metal
461
00:37:14.960 --> 00:37:18.719
skipper that you don't cut, not with a piece of
462
00:37:18.760 --> 00:37:26.079
the sun's core. The captain got up and began pacing
463
00:37:26.400 --> 00:37:29.840
slowly and steadily, as if the problem could be trodden
464
00:37:29.920 --> 00:37:34.239
out like ripe grapes. He closed his eyes and said,
465
00:37:35.519 --> 00:37:39.320
I've been circling around that idea for thirty minutes. Now. Look,
466
00:37:39.880 --> 00:37:42.199
the hole can't be cut because it is built so
467
00:37:42.320 --> 00:37:47.039
it can't fail. It doesn't fail. The port controls were
468
00:37:47.079 --> 00:37:51.599
also built so they wouldn't fail. They do fail. The
469
00:37:51.679 --> 00:37:54.679
thing that keeps us in stays in shape. The thing
470
00:37:54.719 --> 00:37:58.719
that lets us out goes bad. Effect. We stay inside
471
00:37:59.400 --> 00:38:06.960
cause something that wants us to stay inside. Oh, said Johnny, clearly.
472
00:38:09.440 --> 00:38:13.119
They looked at him. He raised his head stiffened his
473
00:38:13.159 --> 00:38:18.800
spine against the bulkhead. Pirasee smiled at him, Sure, Johnny,
474
00:38:19.039 --> 00:38:22.960
the machine didn't fail. It was controlled. It's all right.
475
00:38:25.079 --> 00:38:28.800
Then he turned to the captain and said, carefully, I'm
476
00:38:28.840 --> 00:38:31.639
not denying what you say, Skipper, but I don't like
477
00:38:31.719 --> 00:38:34.119
to think of what will happen if you take that tack.
478
00:38:34.480 --> 00:38:39.280
Reason it through and don't get any answers. I'd hate
479
00:38:39.320 --> 00:38:44.280
to be a psychologist, said Ives fervently. Do you extrapolate
480
00:38:44.320 --> 00:38:47.840
your mastications too, and get frightened of the stink you
481
00:38:47.920 --> 00:38:58.639
might get? Praisee smiled coldly, I control my projections. Captain
482
00:38:58.719 --> 00:39:03.679
Andersen's lipsitched in passing amusement, and then his expression sobered.
483
00:39:04.880 --> 00:39:08.199
I'll take the challenge. Perese, we have a cause and
484
00:39:08.280 --> 00:39:13.480
an effect. Something is keeping us in the ship. Corollary we,
485
00:39:14.239 --> 00:39:21.320
or perhaps the ship we are not welcome men of Earth,
486
00:39:21.719 --> 00:39:26.000
quoted Ives, in an excellent imitation of the accentless English
487
00:39:26.039 --> 00:39:29.719
they had heard on the radio. Welcome to our planet.
488
00:39:30.679 --> 00:39:35.840
They're kidding, said Johnny heartily. Rising to his feet, he
489
00:39:35.920 --> 00:39:38.679
dropped the control wheel with a clang and shoved it
490
00:39:38.719 --> 00:39:44.079
carelessly aside with his foot. Whoever says exactly what they mean. Anyhow,
491
00:39:44.760 --> 00:39:47.559
I see that conclusion. The Headshrinker's afraid you'll get to
492
00:39:47.679 --> 00:39:50.920
skipper if we can't leave the ship. The only other
493
00:39:51.039 --> 00:39:53.480
thing we can do is to leave the planet that
494
00:39:53.719 --> 00:40:01.719
it Parsee nodded and watched the captain closely. Andersen turned
495
00:40:01.719 --> 00:40:05.800
abruptly away from them all and stood feet apart, head down,
496
00:40:06.199 --> 00:40:11.360
hands behind his back, and stared out of the forward viewports.
497
00:40:12.519 --> 00:40:15.599
In the tense silence, they could hear his knuckles crack
498
00:40:17.039 --> 00:40:21.320
at length, he said quietly, that isn't what we came
499
00:40:21.400 --> 00:40:27.760
here for, Johnny. Johnny shrugged. Okay, chew it up all
500
00:40:27.840 --> 00:40:30.800
you like, fellers. The only other choice is to sit
501
00:40:30.880 --> 00:40:33.199
here like bugs in a bottle until we die of
502
00:40:33.280 --> 00:40:36.320
old age. When you get tired of thinking that over,
503
00:40:36.679 --> 00:40:40.679
just let me know. I'll fly you out. We can
504
00:40:40.719 --> 00:40:45.440
always depend on Johnny, said Peresey, with no detectable emphasis
505
00:40:45.480 --> 00:40:50.320
at all. Not on me, said Johnny, and swatted the
506
00:40:50.320 --> 00:40:54.559
bulkhead on the ship. Nothing on any planet can stop
507
00:40:54.639 --> 00:40:57.840
this baby. Once I pour on the coal. She's just
508
00:40:57.880 --> 00:41:06.480
got too much muscles, well, captain asked Toskin softly. Andersen
509
00:41:06.559 --> 00:41:09.800
looked at the basking valley at the two blue sky
510
00:41:10.320 --> 00:41:17.199
and the near familiar mellow weathered crags. They waited. Take
511
00:41:17.199 --> 00:41:20.280
her up, said the captain. Put her in orbit at
512
00:41:20.280 --> 00:41:26.599
two hundred kilos. I'm not giving up this easily. I've
513
00:41:26.719 --> 00:41:30.760
swatted Johnny's broad shoulder. That's a take off and a
514
00:41:30.880 --> 00:41:34.480
landing if I know, the old man, go to it, jets.
515
00:41:37.480 --> 00:41:40.880
Johnny's wide white grin flashed, and he strode to the
516
00:41:40.920 --> 00:41:46.880
control chair. Gentlemen, be seated. I'll take mine lying down,
517
00:41:47.199 --> 00:41:50.960
said Ives, and spread his bulk out on the acceleration couch.
518
00:41:52.079 --> 00:41:56.559
The others went to their take off posts. On automatics,
519
00:41:56.719 --> 00:42:02.400
said the captain. Fire Away. Fire Away, said Johnny cheerfully.
520
00:42:03.519 --> 00:42:09.199
He reached forward and pressed the central control. Nothing happened.
521
00:42:11.440 --> 00:42:15.320
Johnny put his hand toward the control again. It moved,
522
00:42:15.360 --> 00:42:17.760
as if there were a repellor field around the button.
523
00:42:18.840 --> 00:42:22.079
The hand moved more and more slowly the closer it got,
524
00:42:22.519 --> 00:42:26.239
until it hovered just over the control and began to tremble.
525
00:42:27.840 --> 00:42:35.079
On Manual, barked the captain. Fire Manual, Sir, said Johnny. Reflexively,
526
00:42:36.960 --> 00:42:40.840
his trembling hand darted up to an overhead switch, pulled it.
527
00:42:41.840 --> 00:42:44.719
He grasped the control bars and dropped the heels of
528
00:42:44.760 --> 00:42:49.639
his hands heavily on the firing studs. From somewhere came
529
00:42:49.639 --> 00:42:55.000
a muted roar, a whispering, a subjective suggestion of the
530
00:42:55.000 --> 00:43:02.280
thunder of reaction motors. A frown crossed Piraise's face. The
531
00:43:02.360 --> 00:43:05.039
rocket noise was gone as the mind reached for it,
532
00:43:05.480 --> 00:43:10.280
like anecluded thought. The motors were silent. There wasn't a
533
00:43:10.320 --> 00:43:15.599
tremor of vibration. Yet somewhere a ghost engine was warming up,
534
00:43:16.000 --> 00:43:21.400
preparing a ghost ship for an intangible take off into nothingness.
535
00:43:22.920 --> 00:43:25.360
He snapped off the catch of his safety belt and
536
00:43:25.440 --> 00:43:30.440
crossed swiftly and silently to the console. Johnny sat raptly.
537
00:43:31.599 --> 00:43:35.559
A slow smile of satisfaction began to spread over his face.
538
00:43:36.920 --> 00:43:41.400
His gaze flicked to dials and gauges. He nodded very
539
00:43:41.400 --> 00:43:45.039
slightly and brought both hands down like an organist playing
540
00:43:45.079 --> 00:43:50.519
a mighty chord. He watched the gauges. The needles were
541
00:43:50.559 --> 00:43:54.360
still lying on their zero pins and were lights should
542
00:43:54.440 --> 00:43:59.639
have flickered and flashed, There was nothing. Peisee glanced at
543
00:43:59.679 --> 00:44:04.159
Anderson and met a worried look. Hoskins had his head
544
00:44:04.199 --> 00:44:09.440
cocked to one side, listening puzzled, Ives rose from the
545
00:44:09.480 --> 00:44:15.960
couch and came forward to stand beside Pisee. Johnny was
546
00:44:16.000 --> 00:44:21.760
manipulating the keys firmly. His fingers began to play a rapid, skillful,
547
00:44:22.039 --> 00:44:26.719
silent concerto. His face had a look of intense concentration
548
00:44:27.159 --> 00:44:33.719
and of complete self confidence. Well, said Ives, heavily. That's
549
00:44:33.760 --> 00:44:41.119
a bust too, Piisee spun to him. Sh It was
550
00:44:41.199 --> 00:44:45.719
done with such intensity that Ives recoiled with a warning
551
00:44:45.760 --> 00:44:48.800
look at him. Peise walked to the captain whispered in
552
00:44:48.880 --> 00:44:56.800
his ear. My god, said Andersen. All right, doctor. He
553
00:44:56.920 --> 00:45:01.400
came forward to the pilot's chair. Johnny was still concentratedly,
554
00:45:01.800 --> 00:45:07.320
uselessly at work. Andersen glanced inquiringly at Piresy, who nodded.
555
00:45:09.400 --> 00:45:12.880
That does it, said the captain loudly. Nice work, Johnny.
556
00:45:13.039 --> 00:45:16.480
Where's smack in orbit? The automatics couldn't have done it better?
557
00:45:17.079 --> 00:45:19.400
For once. It feels good to be out in space again.
558
00:45:19.760 --> 00:45:22.519
Cut your jets now you can check for correction later,
559
00:45:24.039 --> 00:45:29.679
I sir, said Johnny. He made two delicate adjustments, threw
560
00:45:29.760 --> 00:45:37.639
a master switch and swung around. Hew, that's work. Facing
561
00:45:37.760 --> 00:45:41.719
the four silent men, Johnny thumbed out a cigarette, put
562
00:45:41.719 --> 00:45:44.880
it in his mouth, touched his lighter to it, drew
563
00:45:45.000 --> 00:45:52.519
a long, slow puff. Man that goes good. The cigarette
564
00:45:52.760 --> 00:45:57.639
was not lighted. Hoskins turned away, an expression of sick
565
00:45:57.719 --> 00:46:02.079
pity on his face, reached abruptly for his own lighter,
566
00:46:02.480 --> 00:46:06.960
and the doctor checked him with a gesture. Every time
567
00:46:07.000 --> 00:46:11.440
I see a hot pilot work, I'm amazed, Pirasee said, conversationally,
568
00:46:12.159 --> 00:46:18.519
such concentration, You must be tuckered, Johnny. Johnny puffed at
569
00:46:18.519 --> 00:46:25.519
his unlit cigarette. Tuckered, he said, yea. There were two
570
00:46:25.599 --> 00:46:31.320
odd undertones to his voice. Suddenly they were fatigue and eagerness.
571
00:46:31.920 --> 00:46:38.360
Pirasee said, you're off. Watch John go stretch out. Real tired,
572
00:46:38.880 --> 00:46:43.639
mumbled Johnny. He lumbered to his feet and went aft,
573
00:46:44.079 --> 00:46:48.039
where he rolled to the couch and was almost instantly asleep.
574
00:46:51.480 --> 00:46:55.599
The others congregated far forward around the controls and for
575
00:46:55.679 --> 00:47:00.199
a long moment stared silently at the sleeping pilot. I
576
00:47:00.239 --> 00:47:05.079
don't get it, murmured Ives. He really thought he flew
577
00:47:05.119 --> 00:47:11.840
us out, didn't he asked Hoskins. Prarasee nodded, had to.
578
00:47:12.519 --> 00:47:15.400
There isn't any place in his cosmos for machines that
579
00:47:15.440 --> 00:47:20.480
don't work. Contrary evidence can get just so strong, then
580
00:47:20.599 --> 00:47:24.760
for him it ceased to exist. A faulty cigarette lighter
581
00:47:24.800 --> 00:47:29.000
irritated him, a failing airlock control made him angry and sullen,
582
00:47:29.039 --> 00:47:33.639
and then hysterical when the drive controls wouldn't respond. He
583
00:47:33.719 --> 00:47:37.760
reached his breaking point. Everyone has such a breaking point
584
00:47:38.079 --> 00:47:40.599
and arrives at it just that way if he's pushed
585
00:47:40.599 --> 00:47:47.519
far enough. Everyone praise, looked from face to face and
586
00:47:47.559 --> 00:47:53.679
nodded somberly. Anderson asked, what knocked him out. He's trained
587
00:47:53.719 --> 00:47:58.239
to take far more strain than that. Oh, he isn't
588
00:47:58.239 --> 00:48:02.360
suffering from any physical or or conscious metal fatigue. The
589
00:48:02.440 --> 00:48:05.000
one thing he wanted to do was to get away
590
00:48:05.039 --> 00:48:09.280
from a terrifying situation. He convinced himself that he flew
591
00:48:09.320 --> 00:48:12.239
out of it. The next best thing he could do
592
00:48:12.360 --> 00:48:15.280
to keep anything else from attacking him was to sleep.
593
00:48:16.079 --> 00:48:19.480
He very much appreciated my suggestion that he was worn
594
00:48:19.559 --> 00:48:24.000
out and needed to stretch out. I'd very much appreciate
595
00:48:24.079 --> 00:48:28.400
some such said ives. Do it to me, Nick, reach
596
00:48:28.480 --> 00:48:32.679
your breaking point first, said the doctor flatly, and went
597
00:48:32.719 --> 00:48:35.599
to place a pillow between Johnny's head and a rail guard.
598
00:48:38.599 --> 00:48:42.280
Hoskins turned away to stare at the peaceful landscape outside.
599
00:48:43.880 --> 00:48:49.639
The captain watched him for a moment. Then Hoskins, I,
600
00:48:49.639 --> 00:48:53.159
I've seen that expression before. What are you thinking about?
601
00:48:54.880 --> 00:48:59.599
The engineer looked at him, shrugged, and said mildly. Chess,
602
00:49:01.519 --> 00:49:07.199
what especially? Oh, A very general thing. The reciprocity of
603
00:49:07.239 --> 00:49:10.679
the game. That's what makes it the magnificent thing it is.
604
00:49:11.639 --> 00:49:15.000
Most human enterprises can gang up on a man, slap
605
00:49:15.079 --> 00:49:19.199
him with one disaster after another without pause, But not chess.
606
00:49:19.960 --> 00:49:22.880
No matter who your opponent might be, every time he
607
00:49:22.960 --> 00:49:28.480
does something to you, it's your move. Very comforting. Have
608
00:49:28.599 --> 00:49:33.360
you any idea of how we move now? Hoskins looked
609
00:49:33.400 --> 00:49:37.320
at him, a gentle surprise on his aging face. You
610
00:49:37.440 --> 00:49:44.599
missed my point, Skipper, we don't move, oh, the captain whispered,
611
00:49:45.960 --> 00:49:50.960
his face tautened as it paled. I I see. We
612
00:49:51.079 --> 00:49:54.400
pushed the airlock button to get out counter move. It
613
00:49:54.440 --> 00:49:58.760
wouldn't work. We tried the manual counter move, it broke off,
614
00:49:59.199 --> 00:50:02.719
and so on. Now we've tried to fly the ship out.
615
00:50:03.079 --> 00:50:06.880
Oh but Hoskins, Johnny Proke, isn't that counter move enough?
616
00:50:08.360 --> 00:50:12.280
Maybe maybe you're right, Maybe the move wasn't trying the
617
00:50:12.360 --> 00:50:15.519
drive controls, though maybe the move was to do what
618
00:50:15.679 --> 00:50:20.639
was necessary to knock Johnny out. He shrugged again. We'll
619
00:50:20.760 --> 00:50:27.760
very soon see the captain exhaled explosively through his nostrils.
620
00:50:28.119 --> 00:50:32.920
We'll find out if his arm move by moving, he gritted. Ives, praraisee,
621
00:50:33.159 --> 00:50:35.559
We're going to go over this thing from the beginning.
622
00:50:35.960 --> 00:50:41.840
First try the port, you ives, Ives grunted and went
623
00:50:41.880 --> 00:50:49.280
to the ship's side. Then he stopped, Where is the port?
624
00:50:49.719 --> 00:50:54.320
Andersen and Piraisee followed Ives flaccid, shocked gaze to the bulkhead,
625
00:50:54.880 --> 00:50:57.400
where there had been the outline of the closed port,
626
00:50:57.920 --> 00:51:00.599
and beside it the whole which had held the axle
627
00:51:00.679 --> 00:51:04.320
of the manual wheel, and which now was a smooth,
628
00:51:04.519 --> 00:51:09.599
seamless curtain of impenetrable black. But Hoskins looked at the
629
00:51:09.639 --> 00:51:13.880
captain first of all, and he said, now it's our move.
630
00:51:15.239 --> 00:51:18.519
And only then did he turn with them to look
631
00:51:18.559 --> 00:51:33.679
at the darkness. End of chapter two Chapter three of
632
00:51:33.840 --> 00:51:38.679
Breaking Point by James Edwin Gunn. This LibriVox recording is
633
00:51:38.719 --> 00:51:48.519
in the public domain recording by Peter Eastman, Chapter three.
634
00:51:48.719 --> 00:51:53.000
The unfamiliar, you say, is the unseen, the completely new
635
00:51:53.119 --> 00:51:58.920
and strange, not so The epitome of the unfamiliar is
636
00:51:58.960 --> 00:52:04.960
the familiar in the familiar turned on its head. View
637
00:52:05.039 --> 00:52:09.840
a familiar place under new conditions, a deserted and darkened theater,
638
00:52:10.599 --> 00:52:14.039
an empty night club by day, and you will find
639
00:52:14.079 --> 00:52:17.960
yourself more influenced by the emotion of strangeness than by
640
00:52:18.000 --> 00:52:22.840
any number of unseen places. Go back to your old
641
00:52:22.880 --> 00:52:28.079
neighborhood and find everything changed. Come into your own home
642
00:52:28.320 --> 00:52:31.480
when every one is gone, when the lights are out
643
00:52:31.519 --> 00:52:36.000
and the furniture rearranged. There I will show you the
644
00:52:36.079 --> 00:52:39.760
strange and frightening ghosts that are the shapes left over
645
00:52:40.480 --> 00:52:46.880
when reality superimposes itself upon the images of memory. The
646
00:52:46.880 --> 00:52:53.039
goblins lurk in the shadows of your own room. Owen
647
00:52:53.119 --> 00:53:01.559
Miller essays on night and the Unfamiliar. For one heart
648
00:53:01.599 --> 00:53:05.199
stopping moment, the darkness had seemed to swoop in upon
649
00:53:05.280 --> 00:53:10.119
them like the clutching hand of death. Instinctively, they had
650
00:53:10.199 --> 00:53:14.639
huddled together in the center of the room. But when
651
00:53:14.719 --> 00:53:18.320
the second look and the third gave them reassurance that
652
00:53:18.400 --> 00:53:21.519
the effect was really there, though the cause was still
653
00:53:21.519 --> 00:53:25.519
a mystery, then half the mystery was gone, and they
654
00:53:25.559 --> 00:53:31.000
began to drift apart. Each felt on trial, and held
655
00:53:31.079 --> 00:53:35.519
tight to himself and the picture of himself he empathized
656
00:53:35.559 --> 00:53:43.159
in the other's eyes. The captain said quietly, it's just there.
657
00:53:44.039 --> 00:53:49.239
It doesn't seem to be spreading. Hoskins gazed at it critically,
658
00:53:50.480 --> 00:53:53.719
about half a meter deep. He murmured, what do you
659
00:53:53.760 --> 00:53:59.199
suppose it's made of? Not a gas, said Peresey, It
660
00:53:59.280 --> 00:54:04.679
has a a sort of surface. Ives, who had frozen
661
00:54:04.719 --> 00:54:07.199
to the spot when first he saw the blackness on
662
00:54:07.280 --> 00:54:12.159
his way to the port, took another two steps. The hand,
663
00:54:12.199 --> 00:54:16.599
which had been half lifted to touch the control, continued upward, relievedly,
664
00:54:17.320 --> 00:54:20.920
as if glad to have a continuous function even though
665
00:54:20.960 --> 00:54:27.239
its purpose had changed. Don't touch it, rapped the captain.
666
00:54:29.239 --> 00:54:32.199
Ives turned his head to look at the captain, then
667
00:54:32.239 --> 00:54:38.119
faltered and let the hand drop. Why not, certainly not
668
00:54:38.360 --> 00:54:41.559
a liquid pirase, he mused, as if there had been
669
00:54:41.599 --> 00:54:45.199
no interruption. And if it's a solid, where did that
670
00:54:45.320 --> 00:54:51.039
much matter come from through the hole? Hoskins, who knew
671
00:54:51.079 --> 00:54:54.639
the hole, how it was made, how fitted, how treated
672
00:54:54.679 --> 00:54:59.639
once it was in place, snorted at the idea. If
673
00:54:59.679 --> 00:55:04.400
it was gas, said Piisee, there'd be diffusion and convection.
674
00:55:05.400 --> 00:55:08.559
If it were poisonous. We'd all be dead if not.
675
00:55:08.800 --> 00:55:11.880
The chances are we'd smell it. And the counter's not
676
00:55:11.960 --> 00:55:17.599
saying a thing, so it's not radioactive. You trust the counter,
677
00:55:18.320 --> 00:55:25.639
asked Ives bitterly. I trust it, said Piisee. His near
678
00:55:25.719 --> 00:55:30.440
whisper shook with what sounded like passion. A man must
679
00:55:30.480 --> 00:55:34.360
have faith in something. I hold that faith in every
680
00:55:34.440 --> 00:55:37.880
single function of every part of this ship. Until each
681
00:55:37.960 --> 00:55:42.239
and every part is separately and distinctly proved unworthy of faith.
682
00:55:43.800 --> 00:55:46.960
Then by God, you'll understand my faith in my own
683
00:55:47.000 --> 00:55:52.119
two hands and what they feel, snarled Ives. He stepped
684
00:55:52.159 --> 00:55:58.559
to the bulkhead and brought his meaty hand hard against it. Touchet,
685
00:55:59.239 --> 00:56:04.000
murmured Hoskins. It meant either Ive's remark or the flat,
686
00:56:04.159 --> 00:56:11.880
solid smack of the hand against the blackness. In his sleep,
687
00:56:12.280 --> 00:56:16.840
Johnny uttered a high, soft, careless tinkle of youthful, happy laughter.
688
00:56:18.679 --> 00:56:24.920
Somebody's happy, said Ives, Piisee, said the captain. What happens
689
00:56:24.920 --> 00:56:32.599
when he wakes up? Piise's eyebrows shrugged for him, practically anything.
690
00:56:33.360 --> 00:56:36.880
He's reached down inside himself somewhere and found a way
691
00:56:36.920 --> 00:56:40.519
out for him, not for any of the rest of us.
692
00:56:41.440 --> 00:56:44.920
Maybe he'll ignore what we see. Maybe he'll think he's
693
00:56:44.920 --> 00:56:48.480
somewhere else or in some other time, maybe he'll be
694
00:56:48.719 --> 00:56:53.760
someone else. Maybe he won't wake up at all. Maybe
695
00:56:53.760 --> 00:56:58.840
he has the right idea, said Ives. That's the second
696
00:56:58.960 --> 00:57:02.079
time you've made a crack like that, said Piraisee. Levely.
697
00:57:02.559 --> 00:57:07.199
Don't do it again. You can't afford it. We can't
698
00:57:07.239 --> 00:57:12.719
afford it. The captain put in all right, said Ives,
699
00:57:13.119 --> 00:57:17.639
with such docility that piise shot him a startled, suspicious glance.
700
00:57:18.960 --> 00:57:22.599
The big communications man went to his station and sat
701
00:57:22.840 --> 00:57:27.360
half turned away from the rest. What are they after,
702
00:57:27.960 --> 00:57:33.800
complained the captain. Suddenly, what do they want? Who? Asked Peisee,
703
00:57:34.159 --> 00:57:40.559
still watching Ives, Hoskins explained whoever it was who said,
704
00:57:40.679 --> 00:57:46.519
welcome to our planet. Ives turned toward them, and Piresee's
705
00:57:46.599 --> 00:57:53.119
relief was noticeable. Ives said they want us dead, do
706
00:57:53.159 --> 00:57:56.920
they asked the captain. They don't want us to leave
707
00:57:56.960 --> 00:57:59.119
the ship, and they don't want the ship to leave
708
00:57:59.159 --> 00:58:04.320
the planet. Then it's the ship they want, yea amended
709
00:58:04.320 --> 00:58:11.119
Ives without us parise said, you can't conclude that, Ives.
710
00:58:11.559 --> 00:58:15.679
They've inconvenienced us, They've turned us in on ourselves, and
711
00:58:15.719 --> 00:58:18.840
put a drain on our intangible resources as men and
712
00:58:18.880 --> 00:58:22.360
as a crew. But so far they haven't actually done
713
00:58:22.400 --> 00:58:28.719
anything to us. We've done it to ourselves. Ives looked
714
00:58:28.719 --> 00:58:34.320
at him scornfully. We wrecked the unreckonable controls, manufactured that
715
00:58:34.480 --> 00:58:37.599
case heart and darkness, and talked to ourselves on an
716
00:58:37.599 --> 00:58:41.320
all wave carrier with no source about information no outsider
717
00:58:41.360 --> 00:58:48.039
could get. I didn't say any of that, Piisee paused
718
00:58:48.079 --> 00:58:52.679
to choose words. Of course, they're responsible for these phenomena,
719
00:58:53.280 --> 00:58:57.119
but the phenomena haven't heard us. Our reactions to the
720
00:58:57.119 --> 00:59:01.519
phenomena are what has done the damage. A fall never
721
00:59:01.679 --> 00:59:03.920
hurt any one, they told me when I was a kid,
722
00:59:04.360 --> 00:59:11.199
said Ives, pugnaciously, it's the sudden stop PIRESI dismissed the
723
00:59:11.320 --> 00:59:15.480
remark with a shrug. I still say that while we
724
00:59:15.559 --> 00:59:19.599
have been astonished, frightened, puzzled, and frustrated, we have not
725
00:59:19.840 --> 00:59:23.880
been seriously threatened. Our water and food and air are
726
00:59:23.960 --> 00:59:27.960
virtually unlimited. Our ability to live with one another under
727
00:59:28.000 --> 00:59:32.119
emergency situations has been tested to affare thee well, and
728
00:59:32.199 --> 00:59:35.280
all we have to do is recognize the emergency as such,
729
00:59:35.679 --> 00:59:41.280
and that ability will rise to optimum. He smiled, suddenly
730
00:59:42.440 --> 00:59:48.280
it could be worse. Ives. I suppose it could, said Ives,
731
00:59:48.760 --> 00:59:51.920
that blackness could move in until it really crowded us,
732
00:59:52.039 --> 01:00:00.679
or very quietly Hoskin said, it is moving in. Captain
733
01:00:00.719 --> 01:00:06.360
Andersen shook his head no, and hearing him, they slowly
734
01:00:06.400 --> 01:00:09.480
recognized that the syllable was not at an aisle but
735
01:00:09.599 --> 01:00:14.440
an exclamation, for the darkness was no longer a half
736
01:00:14.519 --> 01:00:18.280
meter deep on the bulkhead. No one had noticed it,
737
01:00:18.760 --> 01:00:22.400
but they suddenly became aware that the almost square cabin
738
01:00:22.800 --> 01:00:28.199
was now definitely rectangular, with the familiar controls, the communications
739
01:00:28.239 --> 01:00:32.159
wall and the thwartship partition aft of them forming three
740
01:00:32.199 --> 01:00:39.320
sides to the encroaching forth. Ives rose, shaking and round
741
01:00:39.320 --> 01:00:44.079
eyed from his chair. He made an unspellable animal sound
742
01:00:44.320 --> 01:00:48.960
and rushed at the blackness. Perese leaped for him, but
743
01:00:49.079 --> 01:00:54.519
not fast enough. Ives collided sickeningly against the strange gent
744
01:00:54.639 --> 01:01:01.119
surface and fell. He fell massively, gracelessly, not prone, but
745
01:01:01.239 --> 01:01:04.960
on wide spread knees, with his arms crumpled beneath him,
746
01:01:05.400 --> 01:01:08.920
and the side of his face on the deck. He
747
01:01:09.039 --> 01:01:16.639
stayed there, quite unconscious, a gross caricature of worship. There
748
01:01:16.719 --> 01:01:20.840
was a furiously active, silent moment while Peresee turned the
749
01:01:20.880 --> 01:01:24.320
fat man over on his back, ran skilled fingers over
750
01:01:24.400 --> 01:01:27.920
his bleeding face, his chest, back to the carottied area
751
01:01:28.039 --> 01:01:35.199
of his neck. He's all right, said Pirasee, still working. Then,
752
01:01:35.320 --> 01:01:37.920
as if to keep his mind going with words to
753
01:01:37.960 --> 01:01:43.119
avoid conjecture, he went on didactically. This is the other
754
01:01:43.239 --> 01:01:49.159
fear reaction. Johnny's was flight. Ives is fight. The empirical
755
01:01:49.199 --> 01:01:55.960
result is very much the same, I thought, said Hoskins dryly,
756
01:01:56.360 --> 01:02:02.039
that fight and flight were survival reactions. Piisee stood up,
757
01:02:02.880 --> 01:02:07.840
Why they are in the last analysis, so is suicide.
758
01:02:08.119 --> 01:02:14.599
I'll think about that, said Hoskins softly. Piisee spat Anderson
759
01:02:15.079 --> 01:02:20.039
meddick or no, you'll watch your mouth, sorry, captain, that
760
01:02:20.480 --> 01:02:25.239
was panic seed. Hoskins, don't explain it to me, said
761
01:02:25.280 --> 01:02:29.599
the engineer mildly. I know what you meant. Suicide's the
762
01:02:29.639 --> 01:02:34.079
direct product of survival compulsions, drives that try to save something,
763
01:02:34.679 --> 01:02:37.280
just as fight and flight our efforts to save something.
764
01:02:38.199 --> 01:02:41.440
I don't think you need worry. Immolation doesn't tempt me.
765
01:02:42.159 --> 01:02:46.320
I'm too too interested in what goes on. What are
766
01:02:46.320 --> 01:02:50.280
you going to do about ives? Bunk him. I guess
767
01:02:50.400 --> 01:02:52.719
and stand by to fix up that headache. He'll wake
768
01:02:52.840 --> 01:02:58.519
up to give me a hand, will you. Hoskins went
769
01:02:58.599 --> 01:03:03.159
to the bulkhead and draw a second acceleration couch. It
770
01:03:03.199 --> 01:03:06.280
took all three of them working hard to lift Ive's
771
01:03:06.280 --> 01:03:10.199
great bulk up to it. Perisee opened the first aid
772
01:03:10.280 --> 01:03:12.800
kit clamped under the control console and went to the
773
01:03:12.880 --> 01:03:17.800
unconscious man. The captain cast about him for something to do,
774
01:03:18.119 --> 01:03:24.599
something to say, and apparently found it. Hoskins. I do
775
01:03:24.719 --> 01:03:28.360
you usually think better on an empty stomach? Not me,
776
01:03:29.559 --> 01:03:35.360
I never have either, Hoskins smiled. I can take a hint.
777
01:03:35.599 --> 01:03:39.880
I'll wrastle up something hot and filling. Good Man, said
778
01:03:39.880 --> 01:03:45.480
the captain, as Hoskins disappeared toward the after quarters. Andersen
779
01:03:45.559 --> 01:03:48.400
walked over to the doctor and stood watching him clean
780
01:03:48.480 --> 01:03:54.079
up the upbraided bruise on Ive's forehead. Porise, without looking up,
781
01:03:54.239 --> 01:03:58.320
said you'd better say it. Whatever it is, get it out.
782
01:03:59.559 --> 01:04:05.280
Anderson and half chuckled you psychic praise, shot him a glance.
783
01:04:06.119 --> 01:04:10.079
Depends if you mean has a natural sensitivity to the tension.
784
01:04:10.119 --> 01:04:13.920
Spectra coupled itself with some years of practice and observing people.
785
01:04:14.440 --> 01:04:21.039
Then yes, what's on your mind? Andersen said? Nothing for
786
01:04:21.079 --> 01:04:24.239
a long time. It was as if he were waiting
787
01:04:24.280 --> 01:04:28.800
for a question, a single prod from Piraise. But Parise
788
01:04:28.920 --> 01:04:33.760
wouldn't give it. Piise waited, just waited, with his dark
789
01:04:33.800 --> 01:04:38.320
face turned away, not helping, not pushing, not doing a
790
01:04:38.360 --> 01:04:41.320
single thing to modify the pressure that churned about in
791
01:04:41.440 --> 01:04:47.280
the captain. All right, said the captain irritably. I'll tell you.
792
01:04:49.679 --> 01:04:53.880
Parise took tweezers, a retractor, two scalpels, and a hypodermic
793
01:04:53.920 --> 01:04:56.039
case out of the kit and laid them in a
794
01:04:56.079 --> 01:04:59.639
neat row on the bunk. He then picked up each
795
01:04:59.679 --> 01:05:03.199
one and returned it to the kit. When he had
796
01:05:03.280 --> 01:05:10.559
quite finished, Andersen said, I was wondering who's next. Piisee
797
01:05:10.599 --> 01:05:14.440
nodded and shut the kit with a sharp click. He
798
01:05:14.519 --> 01:05:18.599
looked up at the captain and nodded again. Why does
799
01:05:18.599 --> 01:05:22.400
it have to be you, he asked. I didn't say
800
01:05:22.440 --> 01:05:27.119
it would be me, said the captain, sharply, didn't you.
801
01:05:28.920 --> 01:05:32.679
When the captain had no answer, Peisey asked him, then,
802
01:05:32.840 --> 01:05:38.000
why wonder about a thing like that? Oh? I see
803
01:05:38.000 --> 01:05:40.639
what you mean. When you start to be afraid, you
804
01:05:40.719 --> 01:05:44.440
start to be unsure, not of any one else's weaknesses,
805
01:05:44.480 --> 01:05:49.320
but of your own that what you mean? Yep? His
806
01:05:49.480 --> 01:05:53.800
dark framed grin flashed suddenly. But you're not afraid, cap'ain
807
01:05:54.840 --> 01:06:00.559
the hell I'm not, Piisee shook his head. Ny was
808
01:06:00.599 --> 01:06:05.440
afraid and fled. Ives was afraid and thought, there's only
809
01:06:05.480 --> 01:06:08.800
one fear that's a real fear, and that's the one
810
01:06:08.840 --> 01:06:12.119
that brings you to your breaking point. Any other fear
811
01:06:12.239 --> 01:06:16.119
is small potatoes compared with a terror like that, small enough,
812
01:06:16.159 --> 01:06:18.480
so no one but me has to worry about it.
813
01:06:19.760 --> 01:06:24.320
Why you? Then, Perese swuatted the first aid kit as
814
01:06:24.320 --> 01:06:28.000
he carried it back to its clamp. I'm the emma. Remember,
815
01:06:28.599 --> 01:06:33.119
symptoms are my business. Let me watch him. Captain give
816
01:06:33.119 --> 01:06:39.239
me orders, but don't crowd me in my specialty. You're insubordinate, piraise,
817
01:06:39.800 --> 01:06:44.719
said Andersen, And you're a great comfort. His slight smile
818
01:06:44.840 --> 01:06:49.559
faded and horizontal furrows appeared over his eyes. Tell me
819
01:06:49.760 --> 01:06:52.840
why I had that nasty little face of doubt about myself?
820
01:06:54.239 --> 01:07:00.400
You think I can? Yes, he was certain. That's half
821
01:07:00.440 --> 01:07:04.599
the reason. The other half is Hoskins, What are you
822
01:07:04.639 --> 01:07:10.360
talking about? Johnny broke? Ives broke? Your question was who's next?
823
01:07:11.119 --> 01:07:13.280
You doubt that it will be me, because I'm de
824
01:07:13.360 --> 01:07:16.519
facto the boy with all the answers. You doubt it
825
01:07:16.519 --> 01:07:19.960
will be, Hoskins, because you can't extrapolate how he might break,
826
01:07:20.599 --> 01:07:25.559
or even if he would. So that leaves you I
827
01:07:25.719 --> 01:07:29.320
hadn't exactly reasoned it out like that. Oh yes, you
828
01:07:29.480 --> 01:07:36.480
had said Peresei, and thumped the Captain's shoulder. Now forget it, Confucia, say,
829
01:07:36.760 --> 01:07:40.239
he who turned gaze inward wind up cross eyed. Can't
830
01:07:40.280 --> 01:07:43.320
afford to have a cross eyed captain. Our friends out
831
01:07:43.360 --> 01:07:47.320
there are due to make another move. No, they're not.
832
01:07:49.920 --> 01:07:52.920
The doctor and the captain whirled at the quiet voice.
833
01:07:53.880 --> 01:07:58.760
What does that mean? Hoskins? The engineer came into the
834
01:07:58.800 --> 01:08:03.400
cabin crosstown to a station and began opening and closing drawers.
835
01:08:04.480 --> 01:08:08.320
They've moved. From the bottom drawer, he pulled out a
836
01:08:08.360 --> 01:08:12.519
folded chessboard and a rectangular box. Only then did he
837
01:08:12.599 --> 01:08:18.159
look directly at them. The food's gone, Food gone, where,
838
01:08:20.079 --> 01:08:25.600
Hoskins smiled tiredly. Where's the port, where's the outboard bulkhead?
839
01:08:26.279 --> 01:08:30.039
That black stuff has covered it up? Heating units, food lockers,
840
01:08:30.119 --> 01:08:35.560
disposal unit, everything. He pulled a couple of chairs from
841
01:08:35.560 --> 01:08:38.359
their clips on the bulkhead and carried them across the
842
01:08:38.399 --> 01:08:42.960
cabin to the sheet of blackness. There's water, he said,
843
01:08:43.199 --> 01:08:46.680
as he unfolded the chairs. On the seat of one,
844
01:08:46.840 --> 01:08:50.840
he placed the chessboard. He sat on the other and
845
01:08:50.920 --> 01:08:54.920
pushed the board close to the darkness. The scuttle butts
846
01:08:54.960 --> 01:09:00.319
inboard and still available. His voice seemed to get fainter
847
01:09:00.560 --> 01:09:03.359
and fainter as he talked, as if he were going
848
01:09:03.399 --> 01:09:08.520
slowly away from them. But there's no food, no food.
849
01:09:10.680 --> 01:09:13.920
He began to set up the pieces, his face to
850
01:09:13.960 --> 01:09:29.760
the black wall. End of chapter three, Chapter four of
851
01:09:29.880 --> 01:09:34.399
Breaking Point by James Edwin Gunn. This LibriVox recording is
852
01:09:34.399 --> 01:09:40.640
in the public domain recording by Peter Eastman, Chapter four.
853
01:09:43.880 --> 01:09:49.239
The primary function of personality is self preservation, but personality
854
01:09:49.279 --> 01:09:53.399
itself is not a static but a dynamic thing. The
855
01:09:53.439 --> 01:09:58.239
basic factor in its development is integration. Each new situation
856
01:09:58.600 --> 01:10:02.039
calls forth a new adjustment, which modifies or alters the
857
01:10:02.079 --> 01:10:07.279
personality in the process. The proper aim of personality, therefore
858
01:10:07.640 --> 01:10:12.880
is not permanent and stability, but unification. The inability of
859
01:10:12.920 --> 01:10:16.520
a personality to adjust to or integrate a new situation.
860
01:10:17.239 --> 01:10:21.159
The resistance of the personality to unification and his efforts
861
01:10:21.199 --> 01:10:27.199
to preserve its integrity are known popularly as insanity. Morgan
862
01:10:27.319 --> 01:10:37.159
Littlefield notes on psychology. Hoskins PIRESI grabbed the Captain's arm
863
01:10:37.359 --> 01:10:43.720
and spun him around roughly. Captain Anderson cut it very softly,
864
01:10:43.880 --> 01:10:47.119
he said, leave him alone. He's doing what he has
865
01:10:47.199 --> 01:10:52.960
to do. Andersen stared over his shoulder at the little engineer.
866
01:10:54.079 --> 01:10:58.439
Is he now? Damn it, he's still under orders. Got
867
01:10:58.479 --> 01:11:04.319
something for him to do, asked the doctor coolly. Andersen
868
01:11:04.359 --> 01:11:07.680
looked around at the controls out at the sleeping mountains.
869
01:11:08.680 --> 01:11:11.239
I guess not, but i'd like to know he'd take
870
01:11:11.239 --> 01:11:15.079
an order when I have one. Leave him alone until
871
01:11:15.119 --> 01:11:18.760
you have an order. Hoskins is a very steady head skipper,
872
01:11:19.159 --> 01:11:25.359
but just now he's on the outside edge. Don't push.
873
01:11:25.399 --> 01:11:28.720
The Captain put his hand over his eyes and fumbled
874
01:11:28.760 --> 01:11:32.399
his way to the controls. He turned his back to
875
01:11:32.479 --> 01:11:38.359
the pilot's chair and leaned heavily against it. Okay, he said,
876
01:11:38.960 --> 01:11:41.960
this thing is developing into a duel between you and
877
01:11:42.039 --> 01:11:45.880
those those colleagues of yours out there. I guess the
878
01:11:46.000 --> 01:11:49.319
least we I can do is not to fight you
879
01:11:49.399 --> 01:11:55.359
while you are fighting them. PIRASEI said, you are choosing
880
01:11:55.439 --> 01:11:59.720
upsides the wrong way. They're fighting us, all right, We're
881
01:12:00.039 --> 01:12:03.920
only fighting ourselves. I don't mean each other. I mean
882
01:12:04.119 --> 01:12:07.560
each of us is fighting himself. We've got to stop
883
01:12:07.600 --> 01:12:12.720
doing that, Skipper. The captain gave him a wan smile.
884
01:12:13.880 --> 01:12:19.439
Who has at the best of times. Pirase returned the smile.
885
01:12:20.479 --> 01:12:26.119
Drug addicts, catatonics, illusionaries, and saints. I guess it's up
886
01:12:26.159 --> 01:12:32.319
to us to add to the category. How about dead people? Ives,
887
01:12:32.520 --> 01:12:37.560
how long have you been awake? The big man shoved
888
01:12:37.640 --> 01:12:41.319
himself up and leaned on one arm. He shook his
889
01:12:41.399 --> 01:12:43.880
head and grunted, as if he had been punched into
890
01:12:43.960 --> 01:12:49.000
solar plexus. Who hit me with what? He said painfully
891
01:12:49.399 --> 01:12:54.520
from between clenched teeth. You apparently decided the bulkhead was
892
01:12:54.560 --> 01:12:57.920
a paper hoop and tried to dive through it, said Piiese.
893
01:12:59.279 --> 01:13:05.960
He spoke likely, but his face was watchful. Ugh Ives
894
01:13:05.960 --> 01:13:08.800
hold his head for a moment and then peered between
895
01:13:08.840 --> 01:13:13.880
his fingers at the darkness. I remember, he said, in
896
01:13:13.920 --> 01:13:19.039
a strained whisper. He looked around him, saw the engineer
897
01:13:19.159 --> 01:13:25.359
huddled against his chestboard. What's he doing? They all looked
898
01:13:25.359 --> 01:13:27.960
at the engineer as he moved a piece, and then
899
01:13:28.039 --> 01:13:37.359
sat quietly. Hey, Hoskins, Hoskins ignored Ives's bowl voice. Parise said,
900
01:13:38.079 --> 01:13:42.319
he's not talking just now. He's all right, Ives leave
901
01:13:42.359 --> 01:13:45.239
him alone at the moment. I'm more interested in you.
902
01:13:45.640 --> 01:13:50.119
How do you feel me? I feel great hungry though,
903
01:13:50.439 --> 01:13:55.560
what's for chow, Andersen said quickly. Nick doesn't want us
904
01:13:55.560 --> 01:14:00.800
to eat just now. Thanks, muttered Peisi in visous irony.
905
01:14:02.119 --> 01:14:05.880
He's the doctor, said Ives, good naturedly. But don't put
906
01:14:05.920 --> 01:14:10.439
it off too long. Huh, this furnace needs stoking. He
907
01:14:10.560 --> 01:14:16.159
fisted his huge chest. Well this is encouraging, said Peisee.
908
01:14:17.239 --> 01:14:21.199
It certainly is, said the captain. Maybe the breaking point
909
01:14:21.279 --> 01:14:25.279
is just the point of impact. After that the rebound hm.
910
01:14:26.319 --> 01:14:31.760
Peisee shook his head. Breaking means breaking. Sometimes things just
911
01:14:31.800 --> 01:14:39.079
don't break. Got to pass, said a voice. Johnny, the
912
01:14:39.119 --> 01:14:45.479
pilot was stirring. Ha Andersen's voice was exultant. Here comes
913
01:14:45.479 --> 01:14:49.840
another one. How sure are you of that, asked the
914
01:14:49.880 --> 01:14:56.399
doctor to Johnny. He called ayah, john I got to pass,
915
01:14:57.000 --> 01:15:01.359
said Johnny, worriedly. He's slung his feet to the deck.
916
01:15:02.279 --> 01:15:05.560
You see, he said earnestly. Being the head of your
917
01:15:05.560 --> 01:15:08.800
class doesn't make it any easier. You've got to keep
918
01:15:08.840 --> 01:15:13.560
that and pass the examinations too. You've got two jobs now,
919
01:15:13.680 --> 01:15:16.640
The guy who stands forth say he has only one
920
01:15:16.720 --> 01:15:22.520
job to do. Andersen turned a blank face to Piisee,
921
01:15:22.880 --> 01:15:27.239
who made a silencing gesture. Johnny put his head in
922
01:15:27.319 --> 01:15:31.920
his hands and said, when one variable varies directly as another,
923
01:15:32.319 --> 01:15:36.920
two pairs of their corresponding values are in proportion. He
924
01:15:36.960 --> 01:15:40.079
looked up. That's supposed to be the keystone of all
925
01:15:40.159 --> 01:15:42.920
vector analysis, the man says, And you don't get to
926
01:15:42.960 --> 01:15:46.119
be a pilot without vector analysis. And it makes no
927
01:15:46.319 --> 01:15:50.279
sense to me. What am I going to do? Get
928
01:15:50.319 --> 01:15:54.560
some shut eye, said peise immediately. You've been studying too hard.
929
01:15:54.960 --> 01:15:59.840
It'll make more sense to you in the morning. Johnny
930
01:16:00.079 --> 01:16:03.479
grinned and yawned at the same time, the worried wrinkle
931
01:16:03.600 --> 01:16:08.439
smoothing out. Now that was a real educational remark. Martin
932
01:16:08.479 --> 01:16:13.880
old chap he said. He lay down and stretched luxuriously
933
01:16:14.920 --> 01:16:19.159
that I can understand you may wear my famous maroon zipsuit.
934
01:16:20.600 --> 01:16:25.960
He turned his face away and was instantly asleep. Who
935
01:16:26.039 --> 01:16:32.399
the hell is Martin, i'ves demanded Martin, who sh probably
936
01:16:32.439 --> 01:16:38.359
his roommate in pre pilot school. Andersen gaped. You mean
937
01:16:38.399 --> 01:16:43.760
he's back in school, doesn't it, figure, said Perese, sadly,
938
01:16:44.560 --> 01:16:48.079
I told you that the situation is intolerable to him.
939
01:16:48.359 --> 01:16:51.119
If he can't escape in space, he'll escape in time.
940
01:16:51.960 --> 01:16:55.960
He hasn't the imagination to go forward, so he goes backward.
941
01:16:59.159 --> 01:17:04.079
Something across the floor. Ives whipped his feet off the
942
01:17:04.119 --> 01:17:07.560
floor and sat like some cartoon of a Buddha, clutching
943
01:17:07.560 --> 01:17:12.159
his ankles. What in God's name was that I didn't
944
01:17:12.159 --> 01:17:17.520
see anything, said Peresee. The captain demanded, what was it?
945
01:17:19.279 --> 01:17:25.439
From the shadows, Hoskin said a mouse. Nonsense. I can't
946
01:17:25.479 --> 01:17:29.359
stand things that stuttle and slither and crawl, said Ives.
947
01:17:30.479 --> 01:17:34.000
His voice was suddenly womanish. Don't let anything like that
948
01:17:34.159 --> 01:17:39.199
in here. From the quarters aft came a faint scratching
949
01:17:39.479 --> 01:17:45.960
a squeak. Ives trinned pale. His wattles quivered. Snap out
950
01:17:46.000 --> 01:17:49.560
of at Ives, said Peresey coldly. There isn't so much
951
01:17:49.600 --> 01:17:52.640
as a microbe on the ship that I haven't inventoried.
952
01:17:53.079 --> 01:17:56.960
Don't sit there like little miss Muffett. I know what
953
01:17:57.039 --> 01:18:02.439
I saw, said Ives. He rose, suddenly, turned to the
954
01:18:02.439 --> 01:18:06.399
black wall and bellowed damn, you send something I can fight.
955
01:18:09.319 --> 01:18:13.279
Two mice emerged from under the couch. One of them
956
01:18:13.399 --> 01:18:19.000
ran over Ives's foot. They disappeared aft squeaking. Ives leaped
957
01:18:19.000 --> 01:18:23.319
straight up and came down standing on the couch. Andersen
958
01:18:23.319 --> 01:18:28.439
stepped back against the inboard bulkhead and stood rigid. Piresee
959
01:18:28.600 --> 01:18:31.680
walked with great purpose to the medical chest, took out
960
01:18:31.680 --> 01:18:36.720
a small black case and opened it. Ives cowered down
961
01:18:36.760 --> 01:18:40.560
to his knees and began to blubber openly, without attempting
962
01:18:40.600 --> 01:18:45.920
to hide it. Without any articulate speech. Peise approached him,
963
01:18:46.239 --> 01:18:51.000
half concealing a small metal tube in his hand. A
964
01:18:51.079 --> 01:18:55.199
slight movement on the deck caught Andersen's eye. He was
965
01:18:55.279 --> 01:18:58.479
unable to control a shrill intake of breath as an
966
01:18:58.640 --> 01:19:03.319
enormous spider and swift darted across to the couch and sprang.
967
01:19:04.560 --> 01:19:09.600
It landed next to Ives's knee, sprang again. Piise swung
968
01:19:09.640 --> 01:19:12.880
at it and missed his hand, catching Ives heavily just
969
01:19:13.000 --> 01:19:17.680
under the armpit. The spider hit the deck, skidded right
970
01:19:17.720 --> 01:19:22.920
at itself, and abruptly was gone. Ives caved in around
971
01:19:22.920 --> 01:19:26.560
the impact point of Pirasee's hand and curled up silently
972
01:19:26.600 --> 01:19:32.439
on the couch, Andersen ran to him. He'll be all
973
01:19:32.520 --> 01:19:37.119
right now, said Pirasee. Forget it, don't tell me he fainted.
974
01:19:37.359 --> 01:19:42.680
Not ives, of course not. Pirasee held up the little
975
01:19:42.720 --> 01:19:47.079
cylinder a nesttox. Why did you use that on him,
976
01:19:48.920 --> 01:19:53.079
Piise said, irritably, For the reason one usually uses a
977
01:19:53.119 --> 01:19:55.840
nest tox to knock a patient out for a couple
978
01:19:55.840 --> 01:20:01.239
of hours without hurting him. Suppose you hadn't. How much
979
01:20:01.319 --> 01:20:03.920
more of that stubtle and slither treatment do you think
980
01:20:03.960 --> 01:20:09.760
he could have taken? Andersen looked at the unconscious communications man.
981
01:20:10.840 --> 01:20:16.239
Surely more than that. He looked up suddenly. Where the
982
01:20:16.279 --> 01:20:21.640
hell did that vermin come from? Ah? Now you have it.
983
01:20:22.319 --> 01:20:26.159
He dislikes mice and spiders, but there is something special
984
01:20:26.199 --> 01:20:30.479
about these. They couldn't be here, and they were. He
985
01:20:30.600 --> 01:20:33.960
felt that it was a deliberate and personal attack. He
986
01:20:34.000 --> 01:20:37.960
couldn't have handled much more of it. Where did they
987
01:20:38.000 --> 01:20:43.399
come from? Demanded the captain again, I don't know, snapped
988
01:20:43.439 --> 01:20:48.880
PERESI sorry, skipper, I'm a little unnerved. I'm not used
989
01:20:48.920 --> 01:20:53.079
to seeing a patient's hallucinations, not that clearly. At any rate,
990
01:20:54.520 --> 01:20:58.720
they were ey've s hallucinations. Can you recall what was
991
01:20:58.720 --> 01:21:04.199
said just before they appeared. Ah, something scuttled. A mouse.
992
01:21:05.680 --> 01:21:10.239
It wasn't a mouse until someone said it was. The
993
01:21:10.359 --> 01:21:14.399
doctor turned and looked searchingly at Hoskins, who still sat
994
01:21:14.600 --> 01:21:20.239
quietly over his chest. By god, it was Hoskins. Hoskins,
995
01:21:20.319 --> 01:21:25.000
what made you say that? The engineer did not move
996
01:21:25.079 --> 01:21:31.840
nor answer. Praise shook his head hopelessly. Another retreat. It's
997
01:21:31.880 --> 01:21:38.479
no use. Captain Anderson took a single step towards Hoskins,
998
01:21:38.760 --> 01:21:43.960
then obviously changed his mind. He shrugged and said, all right,
999
01:21:44.399 --> 01:21:48.239
something scuttled, and Hoskins defined it. Let's accept that without
1000
01:21:48.279 --> 01:21:52.520
reasoning it out. So who called up the spider? You did?
1001
01:21:53.399 --> 01:21:58.159
I did? In a startling imitation of the Captain's voice,
1002
01:21:58.279 --> 01:22:03.960
Pirase quoted, don't sit there like miss Muffett. I'll be damned,
1003
01:22:04.199 --> 01:22:07.880
said Andersen. Maybe we'd all be better off saying nothing,
1004
01:22:09.640 --> 01:22:13.359
Praise said bitterly. You think it makes any difference if
1005
01:22:13.359 --> 01:22:19.199
we say what we think? Perhaps, Nupe said Piisee positively.
1006
01:22:19.800 --> 01:22:22.960
Look at the way this thing works. First it traps us,
1007
01:22:23.279 --> 01:22:26.880
and then it shows us a growing darkness, very basic.
1008
01:22:27.960 --> 01:22:31.600
Then it starts picking on us one by one. Johnny
1009
01:22:31.640 --> 01:22:34.760
gets machines that don't work, when with his whole soul
1010
01:22:34.920 --> 01:22:38.800
he worships machines that do ives, gets a large charge
1011
01:22:38.800 --> 01:22:42.119
of claustrophobia from the black stuff over there and goes
1012
01:22:42.159 --> 01:22:47.319
into a flat spin. He came out of it. Johnny
1013
01:22:47.359 --> 01:22:51.880
woke up too in another subjective time track, quite harmless
1014
01:22:51.920 --> 01:22:56.399
to to them, so they left him alone. But they
1015
01:22:56.439 --> 01:22:59.279
lowered the boom on ives when he showed any resilience,
1016
01:23:00.000 --> 01:23:06.840
and it's breaking point thereafter, Captain nothing less Hoskins. I guess,
1017
01:23:06.880 --> 01:23:11.800
so said Perese, tiredly. Like Johnny, he escaped from a
1018
01:23:11.840 --> 01:23:15.560
problem he couldn't handle to one he could. Only instead
1019
01:23:15.560 --> 01:23:19.560
of regressing, he's turned to chess. I hope Johnny doesn't
1020
01:23:19.600 --> 01:23:26.079
bounce back for a while yet He's to Captain, He's gone.
1021
01:23:26.399 --> 01:23:30.960
They turned and stared at Johnny's bunk, or where the
1022
01:23:31.000 --> 01:23:35.000
bunk had been before the black wall had swelled inwards
1023
01:23:35.239 --> 01:23:50.039
and covered it. End of chapter four, Chapter five of
1024
01:23:50.159 --> 01:23:54.720
Breaking Point by James Edwin Gunn. This LibriVox recording is
1025
01:23:54.760 --> 01:24:00.880
in the public domain recording by Peter Eastman, Chapter five,
1026
01:24:03.680 --> 01:24:06.199
and there I was doctor in the lobby of the
1027
01:24:06.199 --> 01:24:11.399
hotel at noon, Stark naked do you have these dreams often?
1028
01:24:12.640 --> 01:24:16.760
I'm afraid so, doctor, am I all right? I mean,
1029
01:24:17.560 --> 01:24:20.439
let me ask you this question. Do you believe that
1030
01:24:20.479 --> 01:24:26.159
these experiences are real? Of course not, then madam, you
1031
01:24:26.279 --> 01:24:31.039
are by definition sane. For insanity in the final analysis,
1032
01:24:31.479 --> 01:24:35.399
is the inability to distinguish the real from the unreal.
1033
01:24:39.560 --> 01:24:43.600
Perese and the captain ran aft together, and together they
1034
01:24:43.720 --> 01:24:49.680
stopped four paces away from the bulging blackness. Johnny, the
1035
01:24:49.760 --> 01:24:52.840
Captain's voice cracked with the agonized effort of his cry.
1036
01:24:53.920 --> 01:24:56.520
He stepped to the black wall, pounded it with the
1037
01:24:56.560 --> 01:25:01.800
heel of his hand. He won't hear you, said piise bleakly.
1038
01:25:02.439 --> 01:25:07.760
Come back, Captain, Come back? Why him? Why Johnny? They've
1039
01:25:07.800 --> 01:25:10.680
done everything they could to Johnny, You said so yourself.
1040
01:25:12.119 --> 01:25:17.359
Come back, Piraisee said again, soothing. Then he spoke briskly.
1041
01:25:18.279 --> 01:25:21.199
Can't you see they're not doing anything to him, They're
1042
01:25:21.239 --> 01:25:27.279
doing it to us. The captain stood rigidly, staring at
1043
01:25:27.279 --> 01:25:34.840
the featureless intrusion. He turned presently to us. He parroted.
1044
01:25:36.239 --> 01:25:39.359
Then he stumbled blindly to the doctor, who put a
1045
01:25:39.399 --> 01:25:42.199
firm hand on his biceps and walked with him to
1046
01:25:42.279 --> 01:25:48.119
the forward acceleration couch. The captain sat down heavily, with
1047
01:25:48.199 --> 01:25:53.239
his back to this new invasion. Praisee stood by him reflectively,
1048
01:25:54.039 --> 01:26:00.199
then walked silently to Hoskins. The engineer sat over his
1049
01:26:00.279 --> 01:26:04.439
chess board in deep concentration. The far edge of the
1050
01:26:04.479 --> 01:26:08.640
board seemed to be indefinite, lost partially in the mysterious
1051
01:26:08.680 --> 01:26:17.319
sable curtain which covered the bulkhead. Hoskins no answer. Peresey
1052
01:26:17.439 --> 01:26:21.840
put his hand on hoskins shoulder. Hoskins's head came up slowly.
1053
01:26:22.720 --> 01:26:26.039
He did not turn it. His gaze was straight ahead
1054
01:26:26.079 --> 01:26:29.920
into the darkness, but at least it was off the board.
1055
01:26:31.119 --> 01:26:37.560
Hoskins said, Perese, why are you playing chess? Chess is chess,
1056
01:26:38.119 --> 01:26:43.119
said Hoskins quietly. Chess may symbolize any conflict, but it
1057
01:26:43.199 --> 01:26:48.199
is chess, and it will remain chess. Who are you playing?
1058
01:26:48.279 --> 01:26:57.439
With no answer, Hoskins, We need you help us. Hoskins
1059
01:26:57.520 --> 01:27:00.760
let his gaze travel slowly downward again until it was
1060
01:27:00.800 --> 01:27:06.159
on the board. The word is not the thing, he said.
1061
01:27:06.720 --> 01:27:10.840
The number is not the thing. The picture, the ideograph,
1062
01:27:10.960 --> 01:27:17.760
the symbol, these are not the thing. Conversely, yes, Hoskins,
1063
01:27:19.720 --> 01:27:25.760
Peisee waited. Hoskins did not move or speak. Piise put
1064
01:27:25.760 --> 01:27:28.840
his hand on the man's shoulder again, but now there
1065
01:27:28.920 --> 01:27:34.239
was no response. He cursed, suddenly bent and brought up
1066
01:27:34.279 --> 01:27:37.399
his hand with a violent smash and sent board and
1067
01:27:37.520 --> 01:27:45.399
pieces flying. When the clatter had died down, Hoskins said, pleasantly,
1068
01:27:46.640 --> 01:27:50.279
the pieces are not the game. The symbols are not
1069
01:27:50.520 --> 01:27:55.920
the thing. He sat still, his eyes fixed on the
1070
01:27:55.960 --> 01:27:59.960
empty chair where the board had been. He put out
1071
01:28:00.079 --> 01:28:03.439
a hand and moved a piece where there was no peace,
1072
01:28:04.000 --> 01:28:07.520
to a square which was no longer there. Then he
1073
01:28:07.640 --> 01:28:14.640
sat and waited. Piisee, breathing, heavily backed off, whirled and
1074
01:28:14.720 --> 01:28:19.560
went back to the captain. Anderson looked up at him,
1075
01:28:19.880 --> 01:28:22.239
and there was the glimmer of humor in his eyes.
1076
01:28:23.600 --> 01:28:28.960
Better sit down and talk about something different, Doctor Perisee
1077
01:28:29.079 --> 01:28:32.600
made an animal sound, soft and deep far back in
1078
01:28:32.680 --> 01:28:36.560
his throat, plumped down next to the captain and kneaded
1079
01:28:36.560 --> 01:28:42.119
his hands together for a moment. Then he smiled, quite right, skipper,
1080
01:28:42.479 --> 01:28:48.840
i'de better. They sat quietly for a moment. Then the
1081
01:28:48.880 --> 01:28:56.239
captain prompted about the different breaking point. Yes, captain, perhaps
1082
01:28:56.319 --> 01:28:58.479
you can put your finger on the thing that makes
1083
01:28:58.560 --> 01:29:02.720
different men break in different ways. For different reasons. I mean,
1084
01:29:02.960 --> 01:29:06.239
Johnny's case seemed pretty clear cut. And what you haven't
1085
01:29:06.279 --> 01:29:11.800
explained about Hoskins. Hoskins has demonstrated pretty clearly about ives.
1086
01:29:11.840 --> 01:29:15.319
Now we can skip that for the time he'll be unconscious.
1087
01:29:15.880 --> 01:29:18.000
But if you can figure out where you and I
1088
01:29:18.159 --> 01:29:22.680
might break, why we know what to look for, you
1089
01:29:22.840 --> 01:29:28.640
think that would help, we'd be prepared, Praisey looked at
1090
01:29:28.720 --> 01:29:32.600
him sharply. Let's hypnotize a child who was afraid of
1091
01:29:32.640 --> 01:29:35.840
the dark. Ask him and he might say that there's
1092
01:29:35.920 --> 01:29:38.680
a something in dark places that will jump out at him.
1093
01:29:39.399 --> 01:29:42.680
Then assure him with great authority that not only is
1094
01:29:42.680 --> 01:29:45.399
he right, but that it's about to jump any minute.
1095
01:29:45.640 --> 01:29:50.720
And what have you done? Damage, nodded the captain. But
1096
01:29:50.880 --> 01:29:53.439
you wouldn't say that to the child. You tell him
1097
01:29:53.479 --> 01:29:58.319
there was nothing there. You'd prove there wasn't, so I
1098
01:29:58.399 --> 01:30:02.680
would agreed the doctor. But in our case I couldn't
1099
01:30:02.720 --> 01:30:06.680
do anything of the kind. Johnny broke over machines that
1100
01:30:06.800 --> 01:30:11.319
really didn't work. Hoskins broke over phenomena that couldn't be
1101
01:30:11.399 --> 01:30:17.680
measured nor understood. I'ves broke over things that scuttled and crawled. Subjectively,
1102
01:30:17.800 --> 01:30:22.199
real phenomena, All of them, whatever basic tears hide in
1103
01:30:22.239 --> 01:30:25.000
you and in me, we'll come to face us, no
1104
01:30:25.039 --> 01:30:28.560
matter how improbable they might be. And you want me
1105
01:30:28.640 --> 01:30:32.119
to tell you what they are, no, skipper, better leave
1106
01:30:32.119 --> 01:30:36.840
them in your subconscious where you've buried them. I'm not afraid,
1107
01:30:37.239 --> 01:30:40.760
said the captain. Tell me, Pirasee. At least i'll know.
1108
01:30:41.520 --> 01:30:46.159
I'd rather know. I'd so damn much rather know. You're
1109
01:30:46.279 --> 01:30:51.880
sure I can tell you. Yes, I haven't psychoanalyzed you.
1110
01:30:51.880 --> 01:30:54.239
You know some of these things are very hard to
1111
01:30:54.920 --> 01:31:01.680
you do know, don't you? Damn you? Yes, Piisee wet
1112
01:31:01.720 --> 01:31:05.399
his lips. All right, then I may be doing a
1113
01:31:05.439 --> 01:31:08.880
wrong thing here. You've cuddled up to the idea that
1114
01:31:09.039 --> 01:31:12.920
I'm a very astute character who automatically knows about things
1115
01:31:12.960 --> 01:31:16.039
like this, and it's been a comfort to you. Well,
1116
01:31:16.119 --> 01:31:19.439
I've got news for you. I didn't figure all these
1117
01:31:19.439 --> 01:31:27.479
things out. I was told, told, Yes, told, said Pirasey angrily. Look,
1118
01:31:27.680 --> 01:31:31.479
this is supposed to be restricted information. But the Exploration
1119
01:31:31.600 --> 01:31:35.520
Service doesn't rely on individual aptitude tests alone to make
1120
01:31:35.600 --> 01:31:40.960
up a crew. There's another factor, call it an inaptitude factor.
1121
01:31:41.560 --> 01:31:44.479
In its simplest terms, it comes to this that a
1122
01:31:44.520 --> 01:31:47.479
crew can't work together only if each member is the
1123
01:31:47.479 --> 01:31:51.560
most efficient at his job. He has to need the others,
1124
01:31:51.840 --> 01:31:55.760
each one of the others, and the word need predicates lack.
1125
01:31:56.640 --> 01:31:59.800
In other words, none of us is a balanced individual,
1126
01:32:00.640 --> 01:32:03.920
and the imbalances are chosen to match and blend so
1127
01:32:03.960 --> 01:32:07.199
that we will react as a balanced unit. Sure, I
1128
01:32:07.239 --> 01:32:11.319
know Johnny's bugaboos, and Hoskins and yours. They were all
1129
01:32:11.359 --> 01:32:15.319
in my indoctrination treatments. I know all your case histories,
1130
01:32:15.399 --> 01:32:23.399
all your psychic pushbuttons, and yours, demanded the Captain Hoskins,
1131
01:32:23.399 --> 01:32:29.279
for example, said Peresei happily married no children physically inferior
1132
01:32:29.319 --> 01:32:33.720
all his life, repressed desire for pure science, which produced
1133
01:32:33.760 --> 01:32:36.560
more than a smattering of a great many sciences and
1134
01:32:36.640 --> 01:32:40.319
made him a hell of an engineer, high idealistic quotionent
1135
01:32:40.840 --> 01:32:44.880
self sacrifice. Look at him playing chess, making of this
1136
01:32:45.159 --> 01:32:50.359
very real situation a theoretical abstraction, like leaving a marriage
1137
01:32:50.359 --> 01:32:55.359
for deep space. Johnny, we know about. Brought up with
1138
01:32:55.520 --> 01:32:59.039
never failing machines, still play with them as if they
1139
01:32:59.079 --> 01:33:03.039
were toys, and like any imaginative child, turns to his
1140
01:33:03.159 --> 01:33:07.560
toys for reassurance. He needs to be a hero. Hence
1141
01:33:07.600 --> 01:33:14.920
the stars ives always fat, learned to be easygoing, learned
1142
01:33:14.920 --> 01:33:19.159
to laugh with when others were laughing at, and bottling
1143
01:33:19.239 --> 01:33:24.000
up pressures every time it happened a large appetite. He's
1144
01:33:24.039 --> 01:33:26.880
here to satisfy it. He's with us so he can
1145
01:33:26.920 --> 01:33:34.640
eat up the galaxies. There was a long pause. Go on,
1146
01:33:35.159 --> 01:33:40.800
said the captain, Who's next you? You said the doctor shortly.
1147
01:33:41.680 --> 01:33:44.680
You grew up with a burning curiosity about the nature
1148
01:33:44.760 --> 01:33:48.600
of things, but it wasn't a scientist's curiosity. It was
1149
01:33:48.640 --> 01:33:52.039
an esthetes. You're one of the few people alive who
1150
01:33:52.079 --> 01:33:56.399
refused to subsidized education and work your way through advanced studies.
1151
01:33:56.439 --> 01:34:00.239
As a crewman on commercial space liners. You became one
1152
01:34:00.279 --> 01:34:04.239
of the youngest professors of philosophy in recent history. You
1153
01:34:04.319 --> 01:34:07.960
made a romantic marriage, and your wife died in childbirth.
1154
01:34:08.800 --> 01:34:13.399
Since then, almost a hundred missions with eas refusing numerous
1155
01:34:13.399 --> 01:34:16.880
offers of advancement. Do I have to tell you what
1156
01:34:17.039 --> 01:34:24.039
your bugaboo is now? No, said Anderson hoarsely. But I'm
1157
01:34:24.079 --> 01:34:28.199
not afraid of it. I had no idea your he
1158
01:34:28.319 --> 01:34:34.760
swallowed information was that complete. I wish it wasn't. I
1159
01:34:34.800 --> 01:34:39.560
wish I had some things to wonder about, said Piisee
1160
01:34:39.840 --> 01:34:47.960
with surprising bitterness. The captain looked at him shrewdly, go
1161
01:34:48.079 --> 01:34:53.159
on with your case histories. I've finished. No, you haven't.
1162
01:34:54.399 --> 01:34:58.800
When Peisee did not answer, the captain nudged him. Johnny
1163
01:34:59.039 --> 01:35:06.399
ives Hoski. Haven't you forgotten someone? No? I haven't, snarled Piisey.
1164
01:35:06.920 --> 01:35:08.800
And if you expect me to tell you why a
1165
01:35:08.840 --> 01:35:12.119
psychologist buries himself from the stars, I'm not going to
1166
01:35:12.199 --> 01:35:16.399
do it. I don't want to be told anything so general,
1167
01:35:16.920 --> 01:35:19.840
said the captain. I just want to know why you
1168
01:35:20.079 --> 01:35:26.840
came out here. Praise scowled. The captain looked away from
1169
01:35:26.880 --> 01:35:30.600
him and hazarded big Frog in a small pond. Nick.
1170
01:35:32.159 --> 01:35:38.239
Piisey snorted, Anderson asked, women don't like you, do they? Nick,
1171
01:35:40.000 --> 01:35:46.600
almost inaudibly, perise said, better cut it out. Skipper Andersen said,
1172
01:35:47.159 --> 01:35:51.920
closest thing to being a mother is that it. Perisey
1173
01:35:52.079 --> 01:35:57.960
went white. The captain closed his eyes, frowned, and at
1174
01:35:58.039 --> 01:36:01.600
last said, or maybe you just want to play god.
1175
01:36:03.840 --> 01:36:07.119
I'm going to make it tough for you, said Pirasey
1176
01:36:07.279 --> 01:36:10.800
between his teeth. There are several ways you can break,
1177
01:36:11.199 --> 01:36:13.319
just as there are several ways to break a log.
1178
01:36:13.920 --> 01:36:17.479
Explode it, crush it, saw it, burn it. One of
1179
01:36:17.520 --> 01:36:20.640
the ways is to fight me until you win me.
1180
01:36:20.920 --> 01:36:24.079
Because there's no one else left to fight you, so
1181
01:36:24.680 --> 01:36:27.680
I won't fight with you, and you're too rational to
1182
01:36:27.720 --> 01:36:31.119
attack me unless I do. That is the thing that
1183
01:36:31.199 --> 01:36:34.279
will make it tough. If you must break, it'll have
1184
01:36:34.399 --> 01:36:38.479
to be some other way. Is that what I'm doing?
1185
01:36:38.920 --> 01:36:42.520
The captain asked, with sudden mildness. I didn't know that.
1186
01:36:43.039 --> 01:36:44.880
I thought I was trying to get your own case
1187
01:36:44.960 --> 01:36:49.880
history out of you, that's all. What are you staring at? Nothing?
1188
01:36:51.800 --> 01:36:57.479
There was nothing where there had been forward viewports. There
1189
01:36:57.560 --> 01:37:02.520
was nothing where there had beens the communication station, the
1190
01:37:02.560 --> 01:37:07.399
forward acceleration panels and storage lockers, the charts and computers
1191
01:37:07.439 --> 01:37:15.960
and radar gear. There was nothing. Blackness, featureless, silent, impenetrable.
1192
01:37:16.960 --> 01:37:20.319
They sat on one couch by one wall, to which
1193
01:37:20.439 --> 01:37:25.079
was fixed one table. Around them was empty floor and
1194
01:37:25.159 --> 01:37:30.159
a blackness. The chess player faced into it, and perhaps
1195
01:37:30.159 --> 01:37:35.359
he was partly within it. It was difficult to see.
1196
01:37:35.720 --> 01:37:38.800
The captain and the medical officer stared at one another.
1197
01:37:39.960 --> 01:37:48.479
There seemed to be nothing to say. End of Chapter five,
1198
01:37:55.199 --> 01:38:00.600
Chapter six of Breaking Point by James Edwin gunn Ibrivok's
1199
01:38:00.640 --> 01:38:05.359
recording is in the public domain recording by Peter Eastman,
1200
01:38:06.920 --> 01:38:13.199
chapter six. For man's sense is falsely asserted to be
1201
01:38:13.279 --> 01:38:17.479
the standard of things. On the contrary, all the perceptions,
1202
01:38:17.640 --> 01:38:20.880
both of the senses and the mind, bear reference to
1203
01:38:21.000 --> 01:38:25.119
man and not to the universe. And the human mind
1204
01:38:25.199 --> 01:38:29.119
resembles those uneven mirrors, which impart their own properties to
1205
01:38:29.199 --> 01:38:34.720
different objects, and distorts and disfigures them. For everyone has
1206
01:38:34.760 --> 01:38:37.640
a cave or den of his own, which refracts and
1207
01:38:37.720 --> 01:38:43.840
discolors the light of nature. Sir Francis Bacon, fifteen sixty
1208
01:38:43.880 --> 01:38:50.239
one to sixteen twenty six. It was the captain who
1209
01:38:50.359 --> 01:38:55.159
moved first. He went to the remaining bulkhead, spun a dog,
1210
01:38:55.279 --> 01:38:58.800
and opened a cabinet. From it. He took a rack
1211
01:38:58.840 --> 01:39:02.119
of spare radar parts and three thick coils of wire.
1212
01:39:03.520 --> 01:39:08.359
Piise startled, turned and saw Hoskins peering owlishly at the captain.
1213
01:39:10.479 --> 01:39:14.199
Andersen withdrew some tools, reached far back in the cabinet
1214
01:39:14.600 --> 01:39:19.520
and took out a large bottle. Oh, said Piisee, that
1215
01:39:20.479 --> 01:39:26.279
I thought you were doing something constructive in the foreshadows
1216
01:39:26.520 --> 01:39:31.920
Hoskins turned silently back to his game. The captain gazed
1217
01:39:32.000 --> 01:39:36.159
down at the bottle, tossed it, caught it. I am,
1218
01:39:36.600 --> 01:39:43.920
he said, I am. He came and sat beside the doctor.
1219
01:39:44.960 --> 01:39:51.079
He thumbed off the stopper and drank ferociously. Peisee watched
1220
01:39:51.319 --> 01:39:56.600
his eyes as featureless as the imprisoning dark well, said
1221
01:39:56.600 --> 01:40:03.840
the captain, pugnaciously. RAS's hands rose and fell once, just
1222
01:40:04.039 --> 01:40:08.239
wondering why why I'm going to get loup and stoop
1223
01:40:08.279 --> 01:40:12.880
and drunk. I'll tell you why, headshrinker, because I want to.
1224
01:40:13.079 --> 01:40:17.119
That's why. Because I like it. I'm doing something I
1225
01:40:17.279 --> 01:40:21.079
like because I like it. I'm not doing it because
1226
01:40:21.159 --> 01:40:25.239
of the inversion of this concealed repression, as expressed in
1227
01:40:25.319 --> 01:40:29.479
the involuted feelings my childhood developed and my attitude towards
1228
01:40:29.520 --> 01:40:33.039
the sex life of beavers see couch catechiser, old boy.
1229
01:40:33.800 --> 01:40:39.000
I like it, and that's why I knew a man
1230
01:40:39.039 --> 01:40:41.960
who went to bed with old shoes because he liked it,
1231
01:40:42.560 --> 01:40:49.039
said Piraisee coldly. The captain drank again and laughed harshly.
1232
01:40:50.239 --> 01:40:55.560
Nothing can change you, can it, Nick piise looked around him,
1233
01:40:55.640 --> 01:41:02.119
almost fearfully. I can change, he whispered, ives is gone,
1234
01:41:02.399 --> 01:41:07.520
give me the bottle. Something clattered to the deck at
1235
01:41:07.520 --> 01:41:12.640
the hem of the black curtain. It's another hallucination, said
1236
01:41:12.680 --> 01:41:17.399
the captain. Go pick up the hallucination. Nikki boy, not
1237
01:41:17.640 --> 01:41:23.680
my hallucination, said Piisee. Pick it up yourself. Sure, said
1238
01:41:23.720 --> 01:41:29.119
the captain, good naturedly. He waited while Peisee drank. Took
1239
01:41:29.159 --> 01:41:33.159
back the bottle, tilted it sharply over his mouth. He
1240
01:41:33.239 --> 01:41:36.760
wiped his lips with the back of his hand, exhaled heavily,
1241
01:41:37.159 --> 01:41:41.560
and went to the blackness across the cabin. Well, what
1242
01:41:41.680 --> 01:41:45.920
do you know, he breathed. What is it this time?
1243
01:41:48.439 --> 01:41:54.239
Andersen held the thing up. A trophy, that's what he
1244
01:41:54.359 --> 01:41:59.520
peered at it all American twenty six seventy five, little
1245
01:41:59.560 --> 01:42:03.000
statue of a guy holding up a victory wreath. Nice going,
1246
01:42:03.079 --> 01:42:08.399
little guy. He strode to Piisee and statched away the bottle.
1247
01:42:09.680 --> 01:42:13.239
He poured liquor on the head of the figurine. Have
1248
01:42:13.399 --> 01:42:20.119
a drink, little guy. Let me see that. Piisee took it,
1249
01:42:20.439 --> 01:42:24.800
held it, turned it over. Suddenly he dropped it as
1250
01:42:24.800 --> 01:42:30.039
if it were a red hot coal. Oh, dear God, smatter, nick.
1251
01:42:31.640 --> 01:42:34.319
The captain picked up the statuette and peered at it.
1252
01:42:35.439 --> 01:42:38.279
Put it down. Put it down, said the doctor in
1253
01:42:38.319 --> 01:42:43.239
a choked voice. It's Johnny, Oh it is, it is,
1254
01:42:43.880 --> 01:42:48.319
breathed the captain. He put down the statuette gingerly on
1255
01:42:48.399 --> 01:42:52.199
the table, hesitated, then turned his face away from them.
1256
01:42:53.840 --> 01:42:58.520
With abrupt animation. He swung to Piisee. Hey, you didn't
1257
01:42:58.520 --> 01:43:01.640
say it looked like Johnny. You said it was Shohnny,
1258
01:43:02.880 --> 01:43:09.640
did I yep? He grinned wolfishly. Not bad for a psychologist.
1259
01:43:10.079 --> 01:43:17.359
What a people? You opened up graven images? Huh, shut up, Andersen,
1260
01:43:18.000 --> 01:43:21.640
said Pirasee tiredly. I told you I'm not going to
1261
01:43:21.720 --> 01:43:25.720
let you needle me. Ah. Now, it's all in fun,
1262
01:43:26.319 --> 01:43:30.840
said the captain. He plumped down and threw a heavy
1263
01:43:31.000 --> 01:43:36.039
arm across Piraisee's shoulders. Let's be friends, Let's sing a song.
1264
01:43:37.680 --> 01:43:43.560
Pirasee shoved him away. Leave me alone, Leave me alone.
1265
01:43:43.840 --> 01:43:47.760
Andersen turned away from him and regarded the statuette gravely.
1266
01:43:49.079 --> 01:43:52.439
He extended the bottle toward it, muttered a greeting, and drank.
1267
01:43:53.960 --> 01:44:00.720
I wonder. The words hung there until Pirasee twisted up
1268
01:44:00.760 --> 01:44:04.560
out of his forlorn reverie to bat them down damn it.
1269
01:44:04.920 --> 01:44:09.960
What do you wonder, oh, said the captain jovially. I
1270
01:44:10.159 --> 01:44:17.439
was just wondering what you'll be. What are you talking about?
1271
01:44:17.880 --> 01:44:21.520
Andersen waved the bottle at the figurine, which called it
1272
01:44:21.560 --> 01:44:26.279
to his attention. Again and so again he drank. Johnny
1273
01:44:26.399 --> 01:44:29.399
turned into what he thinks he is a little guy
1274
01:44:29.479 --> 01:44:33.479
with a big victory. Hoskins there, he's going to be
1275
01:44:33.520 --> 01:44:37.199
a slide rule. Just you wait and see all Ives,
1276
01:44:37.359 --> 01:44:40.560
that's easy. He's going to be a beer barrel with
1277
01:44:40.760 --> 01:44:43.720
beer in it. Hollies did have a head on him,
1278
01:44:43.800 --> 01:44:50.920
Ives did? He stopped to laugh immoderately at Pirese's darkening face. Me.
1279
01:44:51.279 --> 01:44:54.039
I have no secrets no more. I'm going to be
1280
01:44:54.119 --> 01:44:57.720
a coat of arms, a useless philosophy rampant on a
1281
01:44:57.760 --> 01:45:01.960
field of stars. He put the open mouth of the
1282
01:45:02.000 --> 01:45:06.239
bottle against his forehead and pressed it violently, lowered it
1283
01:45:06.399 --> 01:45:09.439
and touched the angry red ring it left between his eyes.
1284
01:45:10.680 --> 01:45:15.039
Mark of the beast, he confided, cast mark zero. That's
1285
01:45:15.199 --> 01:45:18.760
me and my whole damn family. The die is cast.
1286
01:45:18.960 --> 01:45:24.199
The caste has died. He grunted appreciatively and turned again
1287
01:45:24.239 --> 01:45:31.039
to PIRESI. But what's old Nikki going to be. Don't
1288
01:45:31.159 --> 01:45:36.920
call me NICKI said the doctor testily. I know, said
1289
01:45:36.920 --> 01:45:41.119
the captain, narrowing his eyes and laying one finger alongside
1290
01:45:41.119 --> 01:45:45.319
his nose. A reference book. That's what you'll be at
1291
01:45:45.359 --> 01:45:50.479
Treaties on the the post nasal hysterectomy are how to
1292
01:45:50.640 --> 01:45:54.560
unbutton a man's prejudices and take down his pride. I
1293
01:45:54.640 --> 01:46:00.600
swiped all that from somewhere. No, he shouted suddenly, Then
1294
01:46:00.680 --> 01:46:04.760
with conspiratorial quiet, he said, you won't be no buck
1295
01:46:04.840 --> 01:46:09.319
nickie boy covers aren't hard enough, not the right type face.
1296
01:46:10.239 --> 01:46:14.159
Get it, he roared, and dug pirasey viciously in the
1297
01:46:14.279 --> 01:46:21.600
Ribs typeface. It's a witticism. Piisee bent away from the blow,
1298
01:46:22.039 --> 01:46:25.479
like a caterpillar being bidden by a fire aunt. He
1299
01:46:25.600 --> 01:46:31.279
said nothing, and finally said the captain, you won't be
1300
01:46:31.359 --> 01:46:38.079
a book because you've got no spine. He leaped abruptly
1301
01:46:38.119 --> 01:46:44.800
to his feet. Well what do you know? He bent
1302
01:46:44.920 --> 01:46:48.279
and scooped up an unaccountable object that rested by the
1303
01:46:48.319 --> 01:46:53.720
nearest shadows. It was a quarter keg of beer. He
1304
01:46:53.720 --> 01:46:56.359
hefted it and thumped it heavily down on the table.
1305
01:46:57.399 --> 01:47:01.319
Come on, nick, he chortled. Gather ye round here's old
1306
01:47:01.359 --> 01:47:06.840
eyes like a sad Piisee stared at the keg, his
1307
01:47:07.000 --> 01:47:10.239
eyes stretched so wide open that the lids moved visibly.
1308
01:47:10.279 --> 01:47:17.119
With his pulse. Stop it, Andersen, you swine, The captain
1309
01:47:17.319 --> 01:47:22.000
tossed him a disgusted glance and a matching snort. From
1310
01:47:22.039 --> 01:47:25.039
the clutter of radar gear, he pulled a screwdriver and
1311
01:47:25.159 --> 01:47:28.319
a massive little step down transformer down on its handle.
1312
01:47:30.039 --> 01:47:33.960
The bung disappeared explosively inside the keg and was replaced
1313
01:47:33.960 --> 01:47:40.439
by a gout of white foam. Pirasee shrieked, ah, shut up,
1314
01:47:40.960 --> 01:47:45.640
growled Andersen. He rummaged until he found a tube shield.
1315
01:47:46.720 --> 01:47:49.319
He stripped off a small length of self welding metal
1316
01:47:49.399 --> 01:47:52.039
tape and clapped it over the terminal hole at the
1317
01:47:52.039 --> 01:47:55.600
closed end of the shield, making it into an adequate mug.
1318
01:47:56.840 --> 01:47:59.880
He waited a moment while the weld cooled, then tipped
1319
01:47:59.920 --> 01:48:03.000
the keg until solid beer began to run with the foam.
1320
01:48:04.039 --> 01:48:07.479
He filled the improvised mug and extended it toward Peisee.
1321
01:48:08.960 --> 01:48:13.279
Good all ives, He said, sentimentally, come on, piise have
1322
01:48:13.399 --> 01:48:18.800
a drink on ives. Peresee turned and covered his face
1323
01:48:19.000 --> 01:48:23.840
like a frightened woman. Andersen shrugged and drank the beer.
1324
01:48:24.960 --> 01:48:29.840
It's good beer, he said. He glanced down at the doctor,
1325
01:48:30.199 --> 01:48:33.600
who suddenly flung himself face down across the couch, with
1326
01:48:33.720 --> 01:48:36.199
his head hanging out of sight on the opposite side,
1327
01:48:37.000 --> 01:48:41.800
from which came the sounds of heaving and choking. Poor
1328
01:48:41.920 --> 01:48:46.600
old Nick, said the captain, sadly. Here, he filled the
1329
01:48:46.680 --> 01:48:50.319
mug and sat down. With his free hand he patted
1330
01:48:50.319 --> 01:48:58.520
Perese's back. Can't take it, poor poor old Nick. After
1331
01:48:58.600 --> 01:49:04.359
that there was a deepening silence, a deepening blackness. Pirasi
1332
01:49:04.520 --> 01:49:10.079
was quiet now, breathing very slowly, holding each breath expelling air,
1333
01:49:10.199 --> 01:49:13.560
and lying quiet for three full seconds before each inhalation,
1334
01:49:14.520 --> 01:49:18.560
as if breathing were a conscious effort, more as if
1335
01:49:18.600 --> 01:49:22.399
breathing were the whole task, the entire end of existence.
1336
01:49:24.039 --> 01:49:28.720
Andersen slumped lower and lower. Each time he blinked, his
1337
01:49:28.840 --> 01:49:32.159
lids opened a fraction less, while the time his eyes
1338
01:49:32.199 --> 01:49:36.720
stayed closed became a fraction of a second longer. The
1339
01:49:36.760 --> 01:49:40.039
cabin waited as tensely as the taut pose of the
1340
01:49:40.159 --> 01:49:48.279
rigid little victory trophy. Then there was the music. It
1341
01:49:48.399 --> 01:49:53.399
was soft, grand music, the music of pageantry, cloth of
1342
01:49:53.479 --> 01:49:58.600
gold and scarlet vestments, pendant jewels, and multi colored dimness,
1343
01:49:58.600 --> 01:50:03.159
shouldering upward to be low in vaulted stone. It was
1344
01:50:03.319 --> 01:50:07.960
music which awaited the accompaniment of whispers, thousands of odd
1345
01:50:08.159 --> 01:50:12.720
ritualistic sibilants, which would carry no knowable meaning and only
1346
01:50:12.840 --> 01:50:20.039
one avowed purpose. Soft music, soft, soft, not soft as
1347
01:50:20.079 --> 01:50:24.199
to volume, for the volume grew and grew, but soft
1348
01:50:24.239 --> 01:50:27.520
with the softness of clouds, which are soft for all
1349
01:50:27.600 --> 01:50:32.239
their mountain size and brilliants, soft and living as a
1350
01:50:32.319 --> 01:50:37.279
tiger's throat, soft as a breast, soft as the act
1351
01:50:37.319 --> 01:50:44.479
of drowning, and huge as a cloud. Andersen made two moves.
1352
01:50:45.239 --> 01:50:48.119
He raised his head, and he spun the beer in
1353
01:50:48.159 --> 01:50:52.199
his mug so its center surface sank and the bubbles whirled.
1354
01:50:53.439 --> 01:50:56.239
With his head up and his eyes down, he sat
1355
01:50:56.279 --> 01:51:02.520
watching the bubble circle, and slow Piisee rose slowly and
1356
01:51:02.640 --> 01:51:05.640
went to the center of the small lighted space left
1357
01:51:05.720 --> 01:51:10.479
to them, and slowly he knelt. His arms came up
1358
01:51:10.520 --> 01:51:14.279
and out, and his upturned face was twisted and radiant.
1359
01:51:16.239 --> 01:51:19.960
Before him. In the blackness, there was, or perhaps there
1360
01:51:20.000 --> 01:51:24.000
had been, for some time, a blue glow, almost as
1361
01:51:24.079 --> 01:51:28.199
lightless as the surrounding dark, but blue and physically deep.
1362
01:51:28.279 --> 01:51:32.479
For all that its depth increased rather than its light.
1363
01:51:33.439 --> 01:51:36.479
It became the ghost of a grotto, the mouth of
1364
01:51:36.520 --> 01:51:43.319
a nameless place, and in it was a person, a presence,
1365
01:51:44.520 --> 01:51:53.800
it beckoned. Piresee's face gleamed wetly me he breathed. You
1366
01:51:53.880 --> 01:52:01.800
want me, it beckoned. I don't believe you, said Piisee.
1367
01:52:02.239 --> 01:52:05.039
You can't want me. You don't know who I am.
1368
01:52:05.560 --> 01:52:08.000
You don't know what I am, what I've done. You
1369
01:52:08.119 --> 01:52:14.720
don't want me. His voice quavered almost to inaudibility. Do you,
1370
01:52:16.680 --> 01:52:21.800
it beckoned? Then you know, sang Piisee, in the voice
1371
01:52:21.840 --> 01:52:25.319
of revelation. I have denied you with my lips, but
1372
01:52:25.399 --> 01:52:28.800
you know, you know, you know that underneath, deep down,
1373
01:52:29.119 --> 01:52:31.960
I have not wavered for an instant. I have kept
1374
01:52:31.960 --> 01:52:38.600
your image before me. He rose now, Anderson watched him.
1375
01:52:40.079 --> 01:52:44.199
You are my life, said Piisee, my hopes, my fulfillment.
1376
01:52:44.720 --> 01:52:48.039
You are all wisdom and all charity. Thank you, thank
1377
01:52:48.119 --> 01:52:53.039
you Master. I give thee. Thanks O Lord. He blurted
1378
01:52:54.079 --> 01:52:59.359
and walked straight into the blue glow. There was an
1379
01:52:59.399 --> 01:53:03.119
instant when the music was an anthem, and then it
1380
01:53:03.239 --> 01:53:12.760
too was gone. Andersen's breath whistled out He lifted his bier,
1381
01:53:13.279 --> 01:53:16.720
checked himself, then set it down gently by the figurine
1382
01:53:16.760 --> 01:53:20.520
of the athlete. He went to the place where Piisee
1383
01:53:20.520 --> 01:53:25.920
had disappeared, bent and picked up a small object. He swore,
1384
01:53:26.399 --> 01:53:30.560
and came back to the couch. He sucked his thumb
1385
01:53:30.640 --> 01:53:38.079
and swore again, your thorns are sharp, Piisee. Carefully he
1386
01:53:38.159 --> 01:53:41.319
placed the object between the beer keg and the statuette.
1387
01:53:42.520 --> 01:53:46.600
It was a simple wooden cross around the arms and shaft,
1388
01:53:47.000 --> 01:53:50.359
twisted tightly and biting deeply into the wood was a
1389
01:53:50.399 --> 01:53:56.840
thorny withy, God Almighty, Nick Andersen said mournfully. He didn't
1390
01:53:56.840 --> 01:54:03.800
have to hide it, nobody'd have minded well. He roared suddenly,
1391
01:54:03.880 --> 01:54:06.800
Yet the blackness, What are you waiting for? Am I
1392
01:54:06.880 --> 01:54:09.520
in your way? Have I done anything to stop you?
1393
01:54:09.800 --> 01:54:16.199
Come on? Come on? His voice rebounded from the remaining bulkhead,
1394
01:54:16.680 --> 01:54:21.640
but was noticeably swallowed up in the absorbent blackness. He
1395
01:54:21.760 --> 01:54:25.680
waited until its last reverberations had died, and then until
1396
01:54:25.680 --> 01:54:29.640
its memory was hard to fix. He pounded futilely at
1397
01:54:29.680 --> 01:54:33.279
the couch cushions glared all about in a swift, intense
1398
01:54:33.399 --> 01:54:38.760
animal way. Then he relaxed, bent down and fumbled for
1399
01:54:38.840 --> 01:54:43.039
the alcohol bottle. What's the matter with you out there,
1400
01:54:43.680 --> 01:54:47.119
he demanded quietly. You waiting for me to sober up.
1401
01:54:47.560 --> 01:54:50.119
You want me to be myself before you fix me up.
1402
01:54:50.800 --> 01:54:54.079
You want to know something in ven no very toss.
1403
01:54:54.239 --> 01:54:57.199
That's what you don't have to wait for me. Kiddies,
1404
01:54:57.600 --> 01:54:59.600
I'm a hell of a lot more me right now
1405
01:54:59.680 --> 01:55:04.359
than I will be after I get over this. He
1406
01:55:04.439 --> 01:55:07.239
took the figurine and replaced it on the other side
1407
01:55:07.239 --> 01:55:11.039
of the keg. That's right, Johnny, get over on the
1408
01:55:11.079 --> 01:55:13.920
other side of old beer belly there make room for
1409
01:55:13.960 --> 01:55:19.239
the old man to the blackness, he said. Look, I
1410
01:55:19.319 --> 01:55:22.079
got neat habits. Don't leave me on no deck here.
1411
01:55:22.800 --> 01:55:25.520
Wrack me up alongside the boys. What is it I'm
1412
01:55:25.560 --> 01:55:28.720
going to be? Oh yeah, a coat of arms? Hey,
1413
01:55:28.760 --> 01:55:32.760
I forgot the motto. Alrighty, this is my motto seek
1414
01:55:32.840 --> 01:55:36.479
ittoor at astra, that is to say, this is the
1415
01:55:36.520 --> 01:55:45.039
way to the men's room. Somewhere. A baby cried. Andersen
1416
01:55:45.159 --> 01:55:51.560
threw his forearm over his eyes. Someone went sh but
1417
01:55:51.600 --> 01:55:57.159
the baby went right on crying. Andersen said, who's there?
1418
01:55:58.720 --> 01:56:05.920
Just me, darling. He breathed deeply twice, and then whispered Louise.
1419
01:56:07.119 --> 01:56:13.600
Of course, sh Genie. Genie's with you, Louise, She's all right,
1420
01:56:14.560 --> 01:56:19.640
You're all right. Come and see the sweet voice chuckled.
1421
01:56:21.279 --> 01:56:26.680
Captain Anderson dove into the blackness aft it closed over him,
1422
01:56:27.520 --> 01:56:35.359
silently and completely. On the table stood an ivory figurine,
1423
01:56:35.520 --> 01:56:39.560
a quarter keg of beer, a thorny cross, and a heart.
1424
01:56:41.039 --> 01:56:45.520
It wasn't a physiological specimen. Rather, it was the archetype
1425
01:56:45.760 --> 01:56:50.720
of the most sentimental of symbols, the balanced, cushiony, brilliant
1426
01:56:50.760 --> 01:56:56.119
red valentine heart. Through it was a golden arrow, and
1427
01:56:56.239 --> 01:57:01.000
on it lay cut flowers, lilies, white rose, and forget
1428
01:57:01.039 --> 01:57:06.840
me nots. The heart pulsed strongly, and though it pumped
1429
01:57:06.880 --> 01:57:09.720
no blood, at least it showed that it was alive,
1430
01:57:10.640 --> 01:57:14.359
which made it perhaps a better thing than it looked
1431
01:57:14.399 --> 01:57:19.920
at first glance. Now it was very quiet in the
1432
01:57:20.000 --> 01:57:35.560
ship and very dark. End of chapter six. Chapter seven
1433
01:57:35.840 --> 01:57:40.399
of Breaking Point by James Edwin Gunn. This LibriVox recording
1434
01:57:40.560 --> 01:57:46.960
is in the public domain. Recording by Peter Eastman, Chapter seven.
1435
01:57:49.560 --> 01:57:53.000
We are about to land. The planet is green and
1436
01:57:53.119 --> 01:57:56.880
blue below us, and the long trip is over. It
1437
01:57:56.960 --> 01:57:59.359
looks as if it might be a pleasant place to live.
1438
01:58:01.119 --> 01:58:03.840
A fragment of old Testament verse has been running through
1439
01:58:03.840 --> 01:58:08.479
my mind from Ecclesiastes. I think I don't remember it verbatim,
1440
01:58:08.640 --> 01:58:13.039
but it's something like this. To every thing, there is
1441
01:58:13.079 --> 01:58:16.279
a season and a time to every purpose under heaven.
1442
01:58:17.279 --> 01:58:20.239
A time to weep and a time to laugh, a
1443
01:58:20.239 --> 01:58:23.720
time to mourn and a time to dance, a time
1444
01:58:23.760 --> 01:58:26.880
to get and a time to lose, a time to
1445
01:58:27.000 --> 01:58:30.439
keep and a time to cast away, a time to
1446
01:58:30.560 --> 01:58:34.079
be born and a time to die, a time to
1447
01:58:34.159 --> 01:58:37.319
plant and a time to pluck up that which is
1448
01:58:37.359 --> 01:58:43.039
planted for me. Anyway, I feel that the time has come.
1449
01:58:44.359 --> 01:58:47.920
Perhaps it is not to die, but something else, less
1450
01:58:47.920 --> 01:58:53.079
final or more terrible. In any case, you will remember.
1451
01:58:53.119 --> 01:58:56.880
I know what we decided long ago, that a man
1452
01:58:57.199 --> 01:59:01.880
owes one of two things to his planet, to his race, posterity,
1453
01:59:02.279 --> 01:59:06.760
or himself. I could not contribute the first. It is
1454
01:59:06.800 --> 01:59:09.680
only proper that I should offer the second, and not
1455
01:59:09.800 --> 01:59:15.399
shrink if it is accepted. From a letter by Peter
1456
01:59:15.520 --> 01:59:22.680
Hoskins to his wife in the Quiet and the Dark,
1457
01:59:23.159 --> 01:59:30.840
Hoskins moved checkmate, he said. He rose from his chair
1458
01:59:31.079 --> 01:59:35.159
and crossed the cabin ignoring what was on the table,
1459
01:59:35.439 --> 01:59:38.239
He opened a drawer under the parts cabinet and took
1460
01:59:38.279 --> 01:59:41.960
out a steel rule from a book rack. He lifted
1461
01:59:42.000 --> 01:59:45.640
down a heavy manual. He sat on the end of
1462
01:59:45.680 --> 01:59:48.520
the couch with a manual on his knees and leafed
1463
01:59:48.560 --> 01:59:53.159
through it, smoothing it open. At a page of physical measurements,
1464
01:59:53.680 --> 01:59:56.720
he glanced at the floor, across it to the black curtain,
1465
01:59:57.119 --> 02:00:01.760
back to the one exposed bulkhead. He grunted, put the
1466
02:00:01.760 --> 02:00:04.680
book down and carried his tape to the steel wall.
1467
02:00:05.760 --> 02:00:07.920
He anchored one end of it there by flipping the
1468
02:00:07.960 --> 02:00:11.479
paramagnetic control of the tape case, and pulled the tape
1469
02:00:11.520 --> 02:00:15.000
across the room. At the blackness, he took a reading,
1470
02:00:15.199 --> 02:00:18.720
made a mark. Then he took a fore and aft
1471
02:00:18.760 --> 02:00:21.399
measurement from a point opposite the forward end of the
1472
02:00:21.439 --> 02:00:24.560
table to one opposite the after end of the bunk.
1473
02:00:26.119 --> 02:00:31.319
Working carefully, he knelt and constructed a perpendicular to this line.
1474
02:00:31.560 --> 02:00:34.600
He put the tape down for the third time, arriving
1475
02:00:34.680 --> 02:00:39.600
again at the outboard wall of darkness. He stood, regarding
1476
02:00:39.600 --> 02:00:44.279
it thoughtfully, and then unhesitatingly plunged his arm into it.
1477
02:00:45.520 --> 02:00:48.479
He fumbled for a moment moving his hand around in
1478
02:00:48.520 --> 02:00:54.079
a circle, pressing forward, trying again. Suddenly there was a click,
1479
02:00:54.319 --> 02:01:01.840
a faint hum. He stepped back. Something huge shouldered out
1480
02:01:01.840 --> 02:01:05.479
of the dark. It pressed forward toward him, past him,
1481
02:01:05.640 --> 02:01:12.079
stopped moving. It was the port. Hoskins wiped sweat away
1482
02:01:12.079 --> 02:01:15.079
from his upper lip and stood blinking into the airlock
1483
02:01:15.399 --> 02:01:20.239
until the outer port opened as well. Warm afternoon sunlight
1484
02:01:20.560 --> 02:01:24.760
and a soft, fresh breeze poured in. In the wind
1485
02:01:24.880 --> 02:01:29.960
was birdsong and the smell of growing things. Hoskins gazed
1486
02:01:30.000 --> 02:01:34.560
into it, his mild eyes misty. Then he turned back
1487
02:01:34.640 --> 02:01:40.720
to the cabin. The darkness was gone. Ives was sprawled
1488
02:01:40.760 --> 02:01:45.800
on the after couch, apparently unconscious. Johnny was smiling in
1489
02:01:45.880 --> 02:01:51.399
his sleep, The Captain was snoring stertorously, and Piisy was
1490
02:01:51.439 --> 02:01:55.079
curled up like a cat on the floor. The sunlight
1491
02:01:55.199 --> 02:02:00.000
streamed in through the forward viewports. The manual wheel glided
1492
02:02:00.319 --> 02:02:07.239
on the bulkhead unbroken. Hoskins looked at the sleeping crew
1493
02:02:07.680 --> 02:02:11.800
and shook his head, half smiling. Then he stepped to
1494
02:02:11.840 --> 02:02:15.279
the control console and lifted a microphone from its hook.
1495
02:02:16.560 --> 02:02:19.600
He began to speak softly into it in his gentle,
1496
02:02:19.800 --> 02:02:26.319
unimpressive voice. He said, reality is what it is and
1497
02:02:26.479 --> 02:02:29.640
not what it seems to be. What it seems to
1498
02:02:29.680 --> 02:02:33.119
be is an individual matter, and even in the individual
1499
02:02:33.239 --> 02:02:37.880
it varies constantly. If that's a truism, it's still the truth,
1500
02:02:38.439 --> 02:02:41.439
as true as the fact that this ship cannot fail.
1501
02:02:42.560 --> 02:02:45.159
The course of events after our landing would have been
1502
02:02:45.159 --> 02:02:49.079
profoundly different if we had unanimously accepted the thing we
1503
02:02:49.199 --> 02:02:52.560
knew to be true. But none of us need feel
1504
02:02:52.560 --> 02:02:56.159
guilty on that score. We are not conditioned to deny
1505
02:02:56.279 --> 02:03:00.600
the evidence of our senses. What the the natives of
1506
02:03:00.640 --> 02:03:04.399
this planet have done is at base simple and straightforward.
1507
02:03:05.479 --> 02:03:07.399
They had to know if the race who built this
1508
02:03:07.520 --> 02:03:11.159
ship could do so because they were psychologically sound and
1509
02:03:11.279 --> 02:03:15.159
therefore capable of reasoning out the building process, among many
1510
02:03:15.239 --> 02:03:19.920
many other things, or whether we were merely mechanically apt
1511
02:03:20.760 --> 02:03:24.840
to find this out. They tested us. They tested us
1512
02:03:24.880 --> 02:03:28.960
the way we test steel to find out its breaking point.
1513
02:03:29.680 --> 02:03:32.239
And while they were playing a game for our sanity,
1514
02:03:32.880 --> 02:03:36.119
I played a game for our lives. I could not
1515
02:03:36.239 --> 02:03:38.560
share it with any of you, because it was a
1516
02:03:38.600 --> 02:03:43.319
game only I of us all have experience. In praise,
1517
02:03:43.399 --> 02:03:46.159
he was right to a certain degree when he said
1518
02:03:46.199 --> 02:03:51.439
I had retreated into abstraction, the abstraction of chess. He
1519
02:03:51.600 --> 02:03:54.479
was wrong, though when he concluded I had been driven
1520
02:03:54.520 --> 02:03:57.439
to it, you can be quite sure that I did
1521
02:03:57.479 --> 02:04:01.239
it by choice. It was simply a matter of translating
1522
02:04:01.279 --> 02:04:08.399
the contactual evidence into an equivalent idea system. I learned
1523
02:04:08.520 --> 02:04:11.880
very rapidly that when they play a game, they abide
1524
02:04:11.880 --> 02:04:15.560
by the rules. I know the rules of chess, but
1525
02:04:15.640 --> 02:04:18.680
I did not know the rules of their game. They
1526
02:04:18.720 --> 02:04:21.880
did not give me their rules. They simply permitted me
1527
02:04:22.079 --> 02:04:26.359
to convey mind to them. I learned a little more
1528
02:04:26.399 --> 02:04:29.720
slowly that though their power to reach our minds is
1529
02:04:29.840 --> 02:04:33.000
unheard of in any of the seven galaxies we know about,
1530
02:04:33.640 --> 02:04:36.760
it still cannot take and use any but the ideas
1531
02:04:36.920 --> 02:04:41.279
in the forefront of our consciousness. In other words, chess
1532
02:04:41.560 --> 02:04:45.079
was a possibility. They could be forced to take a
1533
02:04:45.159 --> 02:04:48.680
sacrificed piece as well as being forced to lose one
1534
02:04:48.680 --> 02:04:53.399
of their own. They extrapolate a sequence beautifully, but they
1535
02:04:53.520 --> 02:04:57.920
can be out thought so much for that. I beat
1536
02:04:57.960 --> 02:05:02.119
them at chess, and by confining my efforts to the chessboard,
1537
02:05:02.399 --> 02:05:05.359
where I knew the rules and where they respected them,
1538
02:05:05.920 --> 02:05:09.840
I was able to keep what we call sanity, where
1539
02:05:09.880 --> 02:05:14.319
you were disturbed because the port disappeared. I was not disturbed,
1540
02:05:14.680 --> 02:05:21.560
because the disappearance was not chance. You are wondering, of course,
1541
02:05:21.680 --> 02:05:25.119
how they did what they did to us. I don't know,
1542
02:05:25.920 --> 02:05:29.920
but I can tell you what they did. They empathize,
1543
02:05:30.439 --> 02:05:33.800
that is, see through our eyes, feel with our fingertips,
1544
02:05:34.239 --> 02:05:38.399
so that they perceive what we do. Second, they can
1545
02:05:38.479 --> 02:05:42.840
control those perceptions, hang on a distortion circuit, as Eves
1546
02:05:42.840 --> 02:05:45.640
would put it, between the sense organ and the brain.
1547
02:05:46.720 --> 02:05:50.319
For example, you'll find all our finger prints all around
1548
02:05:50.359 --> 02:05:54.159
the port control where one after the other we punched
1549
02:05:54.199 --> 02:06:00.720
the wall and thought we were punching the Buttondering too,
1550
02:06:01.039 --> 02:06:04.640
what I did to break their hold on us, well,
1551
02:06:05.239 --> 02:06:08.000
I simply believed what I knew to be the truth,
1552
02:06:08.720 --> 02:06:13.079
that the ship is unharmed and unchanged. I measured it
1553
02:06:13.119 --> 02:06:17.399
with a steel tape and it was so. Why didn't
1554
02:06:17.439 --> 02:06:20.960
they force me to misread the tape? They would have
1555
02:06:21.159 --> 02:06:24.760
if I'd done that measuring first. At the start, they
1556
02:06:24.760 --> 02:06:27.640
were in the business of turning every piece of pragmatic
1557
02:06:27.680 --> 02:06:33.199
evidence into an outright lie. But I outlasted the test.
1558
02:06:33.520 --> 02:06:36.560
When they'd finished with their whole arsenal of sensory lies,
1559
02:06:36.760 --> 02:06:40.359
they still hadn't broken me. They then turned me loose
1560
02:06:40.760 --> 02:06:43.159
like a rat in a maze to see if I
1561
02:06:43.199 --> 02:06:47.159
could find the way out. And again they abided by
1562
02:06:47.199 --> 02:06:51.079
their rules. They didn't change the maize when at last
1563
02:06:51.119 --> 02:06:55.680
I attacked it. Let me rephrase what I've done. I
1564
02:06:55.800 --> 02:07:01.479
feel uncomfortable cast as a superman. We five pedestrians faced
1565
02:07:01.479 --> 02:07:05.600
some heavy traffic on a surface road. You four tried
1566
02:07:05.680 --> 02:07:11.319
notely to cross. Deaf and blindfolded. You were all casualties.
1567
02:07:12.279 --> 02:07:15.920
I was not. And it wasn't because I am stronger
1568
02:07:16.000 --> 02:07:19.439
or wiser than you, but only because I stayed on
1569
02:07:19.479 --> 02:07:24.399
the sidewalk and waited for the light to change. So
1570
02:07:25.159 --> 02:07:34.800
we won. Now, Hoskins paused to wet his lips. He
1571
02:07:34.920 --> 02:07:38.319
looked at his shipmates, each in turn, each for a
1572
02:07:38.399 --> 02:07:44.399
long reflective moment. Again, his gentle face showed the half smile,
1573
02:07:44.960 --> 02:07:48.560
the small shake of the head. He lifted the mic
1574
02:07:50.840 --> 02:07:53.760
in my chest. Game, I offered them a minor piece
1575
02:07:53.920 --> 02:07:58.039
in order to achieve a victory, and they accepted. My
1576
02:07:58.199 --> 02:08:02.760
interpretation is that they want me for further tests. This
1577
02:08:02.960 --> 02:08:05.640
need not concern you on either of the scores which
1578
02:08:05.680 --> 02:08:09.279
occur to you as you hear this. First, the choice
1579
02:08:09.479 --> 02:08:12.840
is my own. It is not a difficult one to make,
1580
02:08:13.560 --> 02:08:19.119
as PIRASEI once pointed out, I have a high idealistic quotient. Second,
1581
02:08:19.800 --> 02:08:23.520
I am, after all, a very minor piece, and the
1582
02:08:23.560 --> 02:08:27.239
game is a great one. I am convinced that there
1583
02:08:27.279 --> 02:08:29.720
is no test to which they can now subject me
1584
02:08:29.960 --> 02:08:34.000
and break me that any one of you cannot pass.
1585
02:08:35.000 --> 02:08:38.039
But you must in no case come tearing after me
1586
02:08:38.439 --> 02:08:42.399
in a wild and thoughtless rescue attempt. I neither want
1587
02:08:42.439 --> 02:08:46.760
that nor need it, and do not judge the natives severely.
1588
02:08:47.520 --> 02:08:50.760
We are in no position to do so. I am
1589
02:08:50.840 --> 02:08:54.439
certain now that whether I come back or not, these
1590
02:08:54.479 --> 02:08:59.560
people will make a valuable addition to the galactic community.
1591
02:09:00.680 --> 02:09:04.640
Good luck in any case. If the tests shouldn't prove
1592
02:09:04.720 --> 02:09:09.319
too arduous, I'll see you again. If not, my only
1593
02:09:09.359 --> 02:09:12.159
regret is that I shall break up what has turned
1594
02:09:12.159 --> 02:09:16.800
out to be, after all, a very effective team. If
1595
02:09:16.800 --> 02:09:20.720
this happens, tell my wife the usual things and deliver
1596
02:09:20.880 --> 02:09:23.920
to her a letter you will find among my papers.
1597
02:09:24.239 --> 02:09:30.079
She was long ago reconciled to eventualities. Johnny, the Natives
1598
02:09:30.119 --> 02:09:38.359
will fix your lighter. Good luck. Good bye. Hoskins hung
1599
02:09:38.439 --> 02:09:42.159
up the microphone. He took a stylus and wrote a
1600
02:09:42.199 --> 02:09:49.920
line hear my recording Pete, and then, bareheaded and unarmed,
1601
02:09:50.199 --> 02:09:56.039
he stepped through the port out into the golden sunshine outside.
1602
02:09:56.039 --> 02:09:59.560
He stopped and for a moment touched his cheek to
1603
02:09:59.680 --> 02:10:04.159
the floor, aw as surface of the whole. He walked
1604
02:10:04.239 --> 02:10:13.239
down into the valley. End of Chapter seven. End of
1605
02:10:13.680 --> 02:10:18.600
Breaking Point by James Edwin Gunn, recorded by Peter Eastman
1606
02:10:19.079 --> 02:10:20.399
two thousand sixteen.