Getting LAID While in Federal Prison...

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This is true life stuff. This really happened to all
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the stories ins and outs.
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Hi everybody, I'm Todd dank And and welcome back to
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another edition of Becoming the King of Pot with me,
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of course, the King of Pot himself, Bruce perlowin my
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handsome cousin, Bruce.
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How you doing today, I'm doing great, looking forward to
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these stories.
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Me too, Me too. So we're in prison now, well
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not we you right, You're right, you're in prison now,
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you're in Pleasanton. You sort of got your routine down,
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you got your group of friends. Let's talk about the
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day to day and what happens on a daily you know,
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in this federal prison as I'm sure that you know
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since you're in with other criminals that uh Shenanigan's ensue.
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Oh yeah, So tell me about the daily life in
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the and you know a couple of Snamians that are
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taking place.
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All right, So you wake up in the morning. The
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first thing you do is, you know, you brush your teeth,
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go to the bathroom, and then you go to breakfast. Okay,
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and at breakfast you meet your girlfriend you're walkie as
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we described in the last episode, and you eat together
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and then Sotlana worked at Unicorp, which is prison industries.
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She made these. I worked there for a while, ninety days,
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uh in unicorn that's right. And I did not work. Yeah,
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I did work ninety days in the kitchen and you
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had to work ninety days in Unicor, which is we
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made these big chests for the military. And that's what
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you know military? Uh uh? What do they call that?
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The prison industrial complex? Okay, right, right? So we worked
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on a machine called the clamp and it would clamp
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things together and and you and you screw it and
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you stand it back up. And they are like big
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credenzas where the mill terry would hang their their clothes
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or their boots or whatever they had each person, I
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guess at a locker.
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Well.
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I was a fanatic worker and Lana was a working fool.
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In the first week that we worked the clam together,
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we did one hundred and ten. So these piece of
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furniture broke the record of ninety eight. Okay, so we
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did one hundred and ten.
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Of course you did, right.
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And she was amazing. I would watch her. She'd go
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with a drill GUNZ take the drill, put it behind
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her back and with this hand zeez. She was one ambidextrous.
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Wait wait, how did it go?
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Okay, how did the drill go? H, that's the sound
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of the drill drilling screws in takes it behind her back.
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So that goes to so I'm watching this woman totally
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one hundred percent ambidextrous. She could read. She spoke like
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seven or eight languages, and I know that because she
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was like real secretive. And so someone be talking to Farcie,
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you know some let's say, or Spanish, but you know,
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in this particular case, as far as I go, what
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did they say? And she would tell, oh, she's mad
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at him because he's been looking at another girl. And
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then she catched me and realized. I just realized that
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she could speak for Farsie. So she would always hit
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me like this in the head. She go oh like that.
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In fact, the ward called her into the office one time.
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Why are you always hitting that guy in the head
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because he deserves it? He goes, yeah, you're right, keep
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doing it right right anyways, and that goes to a
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story about Solana. She's telling me about Nikolai, her ex bodyguard.
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Even though in her case he was heralded as her husband.
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He was really the bodyguard, And I said, why are
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you so loyal to Nikola? Him and your son Matthew
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stole you know, hundreds of thousand of dollars from us.
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This is later on after we got up Prism and
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he goes, because he took a night for me. I go,
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what do you mean he took a knife for you?
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Because we were on a mission impossible in Yugoslavia somewhere
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and some guy came at me with a knife and
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Nikolai jumped in front of him and he took the knife.
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I go, what did you do? She goes, I shot
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the son of a bitch. And she reaches back behind
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her goes like this, and she goes, I shot the
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son of a bitch. Now that I know has to
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be a true story, because this woman is totally ambidexterous,
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and I witnessed the ambidextriousness. So she pulls out I
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guess she had the guns behind her and shot the guy.
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So anyway, that's just a little aside, because you know,
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part of the process of being in prison is did
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they really do it? And what did they do? Like
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Steve Kalis, did you really bring in three hundred thousand
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pounds on a barge. Oh my god, Oh yeah, Bruce.
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We had electric He was so proud of that. We
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had electric coveyor belts that went right into the back
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of the truck we loaded him. So you get to
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you dig down into stories and then they have to
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weigh do they how much do they tell you? How
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much they don't tell you. She could speed read. You know.
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She didn't want me to know any of this stuff
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about her because she'd said, I'm not a spy. I'm not,
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so we called her not spy me and Joe, where's
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the not spy? But I would watch her read a
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book and I would time it, like every seven to
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ten seconds, she's flipping the page and flipping the page
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and flipping the page, and then she'd close the book.
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And I learned this from her. She would look at
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the page number, close the book and remember, I said,
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how fast can you read your Oh I'm a little
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slow in this one because it's not my regular language,
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it's English. And I go, okay, let me open and
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I would go on page seventy eight, what is it say?
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She would repeat it words for word. Photographic memory speed, uh,
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speed reader, an amazing human. No wonder she was a spy.
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Okay, so right, And when you were reading your books,
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you were a word by word. You weren't speed reading
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your books.
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No, I took a speed reading course. I took. You know,
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there's a book every college student wants to do. There's
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a book called how to Take a Test. So that's
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what I got. That's why I got straight a's. I
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got one B in four years. Everything else was an A
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AR A plus r as how to take a test
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and how to read a book. So those are the
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two things you want to read when you're going into college,
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because you know how to take a test, to how
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to read a book and get the most out of it.
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And then I read some speed reading courses, some books
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from a lady named Arlene Ryle. And basically that's an
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interesting story. There's all these sub stories when she got out,
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when Rosa got out of prison, Arlene she wanted to
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do She was trying to set me up to do
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a cocaine deal. And of course that was the wrong
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person to do a cocaine deal with. But when Rosa
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got out, she did do it, or her husband did
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do a cocaine deal with this lady. And this lady
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did get inbusted. So you know, you got to be
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careful when you talking to any buddy, other inmates, or
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you know, people you're corresponding with about what to say
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and what not to say. So the Russian spy was
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very secretive, but I caught her doing stuff all the time.
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All right. So all right, so my routine was, so
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you go to breakfast with Lana. She goes to Unicorp.
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I go to my job, which is, you know, the
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wrec pile. I would actually go out to the rect
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pile in the morning, lift all those weights, put them up,
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get my work out in, and then come back in
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and read or study, and then you then the next
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thing that's happening is lunch. Okay, so now this is
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an interesting thing. We're always trying to have sex. Right,
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you got two thirds women, you're you're your thirties, you're
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the you're in great physical condition. You want sex with
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your walkie. All right, So let's talk about some of
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those instances. All right, it's as part of the routine.
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This is the lunch routine. Joe Child, was.
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Lana your first girlfriend or she was just your current girlfriend.
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No, she was my first girlfriend. First one okay, yeah,
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and she stayed with my girlfriend the whole time.
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Right, okay, so there's no jealousy or anything. I got
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going on good a little bit.
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She told me what time she goes, you can't sit
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next to Iday in ros In college. That was at nighttime.
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We're not at nighttime yet, we're still at lunch at nighttime.
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I go watch. She goes, it's improper behavior. I go, no,
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it's not. I mean, is it improper behavior? You're an American? No,
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all right, to Russians, that's improper behavior.
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That's fun.
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So I told Iday, I said, I can't sit next
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to you in rose In College of Lona is upset.
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She was like devastated, what do you mean you can't
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sit there? I mean, it was like it freaked her
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out because we were like really tight good friends. We
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studied together, we worked together. You know, we're going to
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school together. I taught I'm going to leave yoga together.
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And you know, that was my little click her Mikey
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Rosa and I day that was like our click. And
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then of course Lana when Lana was off work, but
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we'll get to the off work as part of the
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routine lunchtime. So a lunchtime, you go and you eat.
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Now in Pleasanton, at that time, you had a salad
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bar and a fruit bar, and food that you would
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die for. Every known vegetable on the planet Earth was
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on the salad ball. Every fruit was there. It was really.
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I heard the food got way worse in federal prisons,
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but when I was there, it was amazing, amazing, great food.
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So we'd have our food. And on Friday, you have chicken,
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and Lana would always give me your chicken. That's why
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I felt, you said joke, I go, I fell in
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love with you because you gave me your chicken. I'm
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not sure she understood American humor.
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All right, So anyways, yeah, is there any any insight
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into which came first, the chicken or the egg? Yeah?
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Okay, So now it's time, and so Unicorp is off
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over there and Joe, my roommate, Joe Chagra, worked in
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the Joe was so funny. He was buffed out to
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the MAXI go look at the mirror, he goes, that's scary.
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He would make wessels. So anyways, so he worked in
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the in the in the uh, I don't know, in
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an office, and Unicorps would come from Unicorn, and they'd
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walk over here past his office that he worked at
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Safety Division, the Safety Office, and then they'd peel off
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into the chow hall. Well, he had a girlfriend and
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when she worked in the Unicorn, she'd peel off and
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not go to the chow hall. She'd go to his office. Now,
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in his office, there was a closet. In that closet,
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there was a metal cabinet. It was there was nothing
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in the metal cabinet, but it was a two door
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dupe metal cabinet. You would move the cabinet away. I would,
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because that was was Joe's roommate. And you don't want
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to tell anyone where your secret place is because then
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they stitch out and then you lose your secret place.
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And the inmates when they were building the Safety Office,
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built a secret room behind the clot behind that metal cabinet,
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So you'd move the cabinet. There was a trap door there.
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The door would open up. They go in, Joe and
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his girlfriend, I forget her name, we'd go in there.
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They'd close the door and I would move the cabinet
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back over the secret door. So now if somebody walked
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in looking for Joe, were looking to see if anyone's
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in there doing hanky panky. They would see the closet
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with a metal shelf that they may open the metal doors.
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They're not going to move and look for a secret
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room behind the wall. So that was there. We called
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it hotel motels, so that was their motel. They'd be
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in there. You know, thirty five forty minutes I forgot.
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To speak away. How do you sneak away from a
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guard from the gard?
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Well, your show work. Joe's worked in the safety office,
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so he had an office here, and then his boss
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was in office here next to him, and you know,
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the guy's working. There's a little door there and that,
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and this guy is the one that's watching Joe. So
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you don't need any other guards watching him. So and
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this guy didn't care, right, I think he knew that
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Joe was in there, but he was cool about it. Right,
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Certain guards are cool. We'll get into that second. So
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exactly forty five minutes later, I would move the cabinet.
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They're done making love, they come out, they're dressed, and
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she would then go to the chow hall. She don't
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have like ten minutes before she had to go back
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to Unicor. So that was you know one of the
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secret ways you could make love, right, and that was
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just you still.
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Call it making love when you're in a closet hidden
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by a cabinet, or is it just you know.
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I called it making love of you, right, I mean
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maybe some of the gangsters, the sacessterarios, hijacks, Julie Is
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called it fucking I don't know, all right. Now, we
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learned Judy's podcasts that Judy at David Roads used the
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same place, and I never knew that. I thought that
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was just reserved just for Joe and his girlfriend.
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Oh, he's probably rented it out at a little whole
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side business going on those.
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Or when Joe laughed or something. I'll have to ask David,
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because I talked to both David and Judy today and
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we'll have David on all right, all right, So anyways,
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so that was one of the things. So that's lunch,
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all right. Then Lana goes back to work and I
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go back to reading or studying in my in my room,
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all right. Or I would walk around the track, or
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I'd go running, or I'd be playing tennis until the
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four o'clock count. Unicorp gets out. Everybody goes back into
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the You know, to mingle, and then you have count time.
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So at four o'clock everybody has to go in their room,
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stand up, and they would go in the account make
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sure that nobody escaped, everybody was there all right, and
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and after count, then you'd go to dinner. They would
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let out the unit one, then they let out Unit two,
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then Unit three. You know, they stagger them, so everyone's
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not six hundred people in the chow hall at once.
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And you had a chow hall, and then you had
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a outside the chow hall, you had pictic tables, and
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Lana and I would sit on the pictic tables outside
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except in winter time when it was too cold. And
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then they'd do then they would re stagger them they'd started.
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Unit two would go first, then Unit three, then Unit one,
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and then the next day unit three would go first.
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So you know, you staggered who went first. And I'll
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tell you an instead.
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So glad they're keeping it fair like that in prison.
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Oh yeah, otherwise would be a riot. You're hungry. You
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don't want a bunch of angry, hungry men or women,
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especially the women.
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Especially the assassins.
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Yeah, exactly. You know. Oh, there was one lady in there.
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She was cute as a freaking button. But she had
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cut up a grandmother into pieces and put her in
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an ice box. So she was a little nuts.
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She was crazy, right, And do we know why she
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did that?
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Because she was crazy?
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Oh you know? I mean, oh, do we know what
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the grandmother did to deserve it?
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No, it wasn't her grandmother, It was a grandmother. I
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think they were robbing her. It was her and two guys,
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or her and one guy. And all we knew was
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that she was in there for murder. She cut up
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old lady and stuck her in the icebox or the pieces.
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I got to tell you, you can't have any witnesses.
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So, oh that was a funny story. Okay, so you
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get an idea of the kind of women are in there, right, Yeah,
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you know, you know I shot the son of a bitch.
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Cut people well, smugglers, you know the Puerto Rican terrorists
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they blew up things, you know, the freedom fighters, they
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would blow up oil companies. And in one of those instances,
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why they got so much time is because they actually
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called and said there's a bomb and standard aill, I
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believe there's a bomb in your buildings, Evacuate everyone and
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they didn't evacuate everyone. The bomb went off and one
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person died, and that person's family sued standard all and won.
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So they were really mad at the Puerto Rican and
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they blamed it all on I date. They said that
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they found her fingerprint on a bag that the bomb
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was in, and that was a total fabrication. Lie. Look,
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I'll tell it like it is. You know. You know,
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if they're guilty, they're guilty. Yeah, they were guilty. They
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blewed up, but there was no fingerprint. They just manufactured
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the evidence. And everyone's out of prison now, you know,
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years later.
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So anyways, and wait, wait, let me just ask you
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a question about that. I mean, did everybody have a
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story I didn't do it?
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Yes and no, about fifty to fifty At this point,
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after you settled in and done your time, you didn't
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do it. While you're fighting your case, you absolutely didn't
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do it. When you're you know, when you're on appeal,
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and that can be stretched out for years, you know.
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And I'm reading all the old smuggling books and a
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lot of guys, you know, like Tommy Powell, uh, became
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jail house attorneys and they got themselves reduced sentences for
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some very you know unique, you know, realities about the
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law that they were that they discovered nobody else did
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and helped themselves get to reduce sentence. Okay, so now
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where was I? Where was that? After? After? That's lunch dinner?
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Oh okay, Lana and I sat outside on the picnic.
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Here's this story. So we're outside, this is lunchtime, not dinner,
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and all of a sudden there's a We're sitting across
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from each other, and there's another guy sitting on our table,
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and all of a sudden, the table starts shaking. I go,
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what the hell is this guy doing? Kick at the table.
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And next thing, you know, now remember we're outside. There's
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a plate glass window right here. Here's the table. Here's
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the plate clift. All of a sudden, the window starts
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to breathe womb womb, womb. And me and Lana look
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at each other and I go, it's an earthquake. So
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I said to walk with me, and I took her
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hand and I stepped over the planter from the patio
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that we that the tables were at into the yard
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and made sure that nothing could fall on us, you know,
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no tree, no building. All the inmates come running out,
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screaming out of the out of the chow hall, you know,
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just running out of this door, running out of that door,
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the entrance and the exit. There's one lady out in
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the in the in the inner yard and the and
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she's running in place, screaming, help me, help me. I mean,
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because what happens in an earthquake. The ground's not supposed
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to move. That's your your solid. But we were like
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out in the ocean, that ground was like going like this,
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like a swell, right, And that was when the bridge
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failed down I don't remember in California, the the Bay
356
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Bridge clashed. That's this earthquake. The yeah and the lights,
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the you know, the big tall poles. So they're going, whoom,
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woom woom. Now we're safe because I got her away.
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Nothing can follow us. Everyone's screaming and then they go,
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they go, everyone go to your units, right, We're going
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to go inside a building. And everyone screamed, no way,
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fuck you. You know, no one went to inside of
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a building. You're not supposed to go in a building
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in an earthquake, right, no, I know. And they didn't
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know what to do, you know, I mean, how many
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times you have an earthquake that was a pretty bad.
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My first experience with an earthquake. I was living in California, obviously,
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and I moved out there, you know, after college. And
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I was laying in bed and it was like seven
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in the morning. This is the Wittier quake that was ginormous, right,
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And I'm in the valley and I'm laying in bed
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in the morning, and I feel my bed shaking, and
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I figure it's just my girlfriend, who is my wife now,
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but was a kick in the side of the bed, going,
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you know, get up, get up, you gotta go to work, right.
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So I opened my eyes and she's not there, right,
377
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So I have no concept of what an earthquake even is, right,
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So I opened my eyes and I see I don't
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know if you remember, but furniture back then. It was
380
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a big wooden dresser, and I had a big wooden
381
00:20:53.079 --> 00:20:56.400
thing on top of it, right, and we had a
382
00:20:56.440 --> 00:20:58.119
bunch of shit on top of it, and all that
383
00:20:58.400 --> 00:21:02.960
started shaking back and forth, you would do it woom woom, right,
384
00:21:03.720 --> 00:21:07.960
and then then my closet doors started slamming each other. Right.
385
00:21:08.039 --> 00:21:10.799
So the funniest part about this whole thing, I'm looking
386
00:21:10.839 --> 00:21:14.119
at this right, and this is all split second stuff, right,
387
00:21:14.519 --> 00:21:18.839
and I don't know what's happening, right, And one of
388
00:21:18.880 --> 00:21:23.440
our producers on this show used to date Linda Blair
389
00:21:23.759 --> 00:21:27.279
and was dating her at the time, right, So my
390
00:21:27.720 --> 00:21:33.200
stupid me, right, my initial thought is our house is possessed.
391
00:21:33.640 --> 00:21:34.920
What is happening here?
392
00:21:36.960 --> 00:21:40.640
And my roommate comes running in because we're having an earthquake.
393
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We're having an earthquake. I'm like, that's what it is.
394
00:21:44.480 --> 00:21:47.200
But it's so funny because you don't you have unless
395
00:21:47.240 --> 00:21:49.920
you've lived in one and you've experienced one. You're like,
396
00:21:50.079 --> 00:21:52.880
what the hell is going on? Because you're right, the
397
00:21:53.000 --> 00:21:56.039
earth isn't supposed to be moving, right, and you're like,
398
00:21:56.079 --> 00:21:58.559
what's going on? But but yeah, that was a weird
399
00:21:58.599 --> 00:22:01.599
day and and that's funny that you guys. So so, No,
400
00:22:01.599 --> 00:22:04.640
none of the prisoners went back into the into the jail.
401
00:22:04.880 --> 00:22:07.400
No, And that lady that was running in place, literally
402
00:22:07.480 --> 00:22:10.759
running in place like this, not moving, just running places,
403
00:22:10.759 --> 00:22:12.640
and some guy came up and put his arm around
404
00:22:12.680 --> 00:22:14.720
or said calm down. No, we just stayed out in
405
00:22:14.839 --> 00:22:17.680
the into the uh in the yard at the inner
406
00:22:17.759 --> 00:22:21.160
yard until it until it, you know, died down. And
407
00:22:21.200 --> 00:22:24.359
then it was safe to go back into your your units.
408
00:22:24.759 --> 00:22:28.200
But that was a very very you and I grew
409
00:22:28.240 --> 00:22:29.799
up in hurricanes, not earthquakes.
410
00:22:29.839 --> 00:22:33.960
Yeah, yeah, that's right. I know, hurricanes, no problem, but earthquakes,
411
00:22:33.960 --> 00:22:37.359
What the hell is going on here? Yeah? So all right,
412
00:22:37.400 --> 00:22:44.759
So so after lunch when an earthquake doesn't happen, right, okay.
413
00:22:43.359 --> 00:22:45.559
All right, So now I'm going back out to the field,
414
00:22:45.559 --> 00:22:47.359
the outer field. She goes back to unicorps. I go
415
00:22:47.440 --> 00:22:49.599
back out to the field. I run, you know, three
416
00:22:49.680 --> 00:22:53.960
days a week, three to four miles. Uh uh, play tennis.
417
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Go back in my room and I study. I'm reading books,
418
00:22:56.839 --> 00:23:03.119
or we would go to the covered wreck me Mikey uh,
419
00:23:03.359 --> 00:23:06.960
I Day and Rosa and study. And we studied a lot.
420
00:23:07.119 --> 00:23:09.839
You know, we're studying for college courses. So we've studied together.
421
00:23:10.640 --> 00:23:15.440
And then you go four, you know, everyone gets out
422
00:23:15.440 --> 00:23:18.000
of Unicorn three forty five or something like that, three
423
00:23:18.079 --> 00:23:23.160
thirty maybe, and four o'clock count comes. After count, you
424
00:23:23.200 --> 00:23:26.839
go to the dinner, same kind of rotation thing. And
425
00:23:26.920 --> 00:23:29.359
this is when you see that is Mikey and I
426
00:23:29.440 --> 00:23:31.240
Day mad at each other because they're not standing in
427
00:23:31.279 --> 00:23:33.720
line together, or is Bruce Allana mad at each other
428
00:23:33.759 --> 00:23:36.880
because they're not standing in line, you know, holding hands
429
00:23:37.079 --> 00:23:40.599
right right, there're you know, ten people behind right.
430
00:23:41.279 --> 00:23:43.480
And suddenly the rumor mill begins.
431
00:23:44.039 --> 00:23:47.519
Yeah, yep, they're mad different. And so you see and
432
00:23:47.559 --> 00:23:50.400
you know everything what's going on with Brucellana, or what's
433
00:23:50.400 --> 00:23:53.559
going on with Mikey and and I Dad, what's going
434
00:23:53.599 --> 00:23:57.240
on with Carol and Joe, So you learn about human nature.
435
00:23:58.759 --> 00:24:01.640
Going back to something I say earlier at last podcast,
436
00:24:02.200 --> 00:24:06.359
I started talking about the gang of guys from Hawaii
437
00:24:06.440 --> 00:24:08.440
that came and first there was seven of them. There's
438
00:24:08.480 --> 00:24:10.160
six of them, and there's five of them, there's four.
439
00:24:10.920 --> 00:24:13.079
They peel off there, all with their girlfriends. Who wants
440
00:24:13.079 --> 00:24:14.400
to be part of a gang when you can be
441
00:24:14.440 --> 00:24:17.200
with your girlfriend, So that that's what ends up happening.
442
00:24:18.160 --> 00:24:21.480
An interesting thing. Another thing happened a lot of times
443
00:24:21.519 --> 00:24:26.519
people are in all male prisons, right, and then they
444
00:24:26.559 --> 00:24:30.359
come into Pleasanton. They're scared to death of a woman.
445
00:24:31.119 --> 00:24:34.519
They haven't been around a woman who won two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine,
446
00:24:34.640 --> 00:24:38.559
ten years, and all of a sudden there's women and
447
00:24:38.680 --> 00:24:41.319
they don't know how to act. And the classic example
448
00:24:41.359 --> 00:24:44.680
I described this as a guy and they called him Antenna,
449
00:24:45.359 --> 00:24:47.720
and they called him Antenna because he was a black guy,
450
00:24:47.720 --> 00:24:50.720
and he had his hair sticking out like this, you know,
451
00:24:50.920 --> 00:24:54.759
like dreadlocks, but sticking out like Antenna's right, and he's
452
00:24:54.839 --> 00:24:57.960
were ripped up, tore up, you know, Charity. He was
453
00:24:58.000 --> 00:25:01.279
all buffed out, you know, a big guy. And he
454
00:25:01.319 --> 00:25:04.240
would didn't come out of his room for three days,
455
00:25:04.720 --> 00:25:07.000
you know, I mean they sometimes they do that. They
456
00:25:07.039 --> 00:25:08.759
are just too scared to come out of the room.
457
00:25:09.160 --> 00:25:12.119
And they would go and you know, just to go
458
00:25:12.160 --> 00:25:14.960
out and eat and come right back. And I anyways,
459
00:25:15.240 --> 00:25:17.960
about three days after Antenna arrives, next thing, you know,
460
00:25:18.359 --> 00:25:22.359
his hair slicked back, he's got iron his shirt and
461
00:25:22.480 --> 00:25:25.240
pants on and no more tore up things. I mean,
462
00:25:25.279 --> 00:25:30.799
he's the transition was dramatic, more dramatic. Everyone goes through that,
463
00:25:30.880 --> 00:25:34.200
but not as dramatic as Antenna. So there's that stuff
464
00:25:34.240 --> 00:25:38.759
going on. So after dinner, ME and Lana would eat together. Friday,
465
00:25:38.759 --> 00:25:39.440
I get her chicken.
466
00:25:39.640 --> 00:25:42.000
What was dinner like? What was what was the typical meal?
467
00:25:42.599 --> 00:25:43.079
Same thing?
468
00:25:43.119 --> 00:25:46.160
It was delicious. You got the salad bar with every
469
00:25:46.200 --> 00:25:49.000
salad on it. Friday's was chicken, and you know you
470
00:25:49.039 --> 00:25:52.359
have meat loaf. One day. They were good meals. They
471
00:25:52.359 --> 00:25:55.599
were good. They weren't you know, like when you're county jail,
472
00:25:55.640 --> 00:25:59.279
it's white bread with cheese and blowney. You know, that's
473
00:25:59.319 --> 00:26:02.519
your meal. And it wasn't that. It was really it
474
00:26:02.559 --> 00:26:04.839
was really really good. And a lot of the guys,
475
00:26:05.039 --> 00:26:07.720
you know, the inmates, were the cooks, so they would
476
00:26:07.759 --> 00:26:10.880
make great stuff in the kitchen.
477
00:26:11.599 --> 00:26:15.000
Probably from their culture, from wherever they were from or
478
00:26:15.079 --> 00:26:15.359
so on.
479
00:26:15.720 --> 00:26:18.640
Yeah, sometimes there'd be you know, Mexican knights as beans
480
00:26:18.640 --> 00:26:21.519
and rice and and the Mexican food. Others.
481
00:26:22.039 --> 00:26:25.000
There's that famous scene in Goodfellas where you know, the
482
00:26:25.039 --> 00:26:28.079
guy's carving the garlic, you know, a really thing and
483
00:26:28.119 --> 00:26:30.440
they're making the sauce in the in the prison, was
484
00:26:30.480 --> 00:26:32.079
it like that similar?
485
00:26:32.240 --> 00:26:36.480
Yeah, it was. Now the guys that worked in the kitchen,
486
00:26:36.519 --> 00:26:38.799
a lot of them had a side business. Like a
487
00:26:38.799 --> 00:26:41.480
guy named Solomon. He would take a bunch of eggs
488
00:26:41.960 --> 00:26:43.720
and I don't know what else, and he would then
489
00:26:44.200 --> 00:26:46.119
put him in a pan and cook him on top
490
00:26:46.160 --> 00:26:49.359
of his light in his in his bedroom, in his cell.
491
00:26:50.200 --> 00:26:51.799
I sell it. There wasn't a sell because there was
492
00:26:51.799 --> 00:26:55.960
no bars, you know, you had your door, and and
493
00:26:56.000 --> 00:26:59.720
he would make kish oh my god, floatd with che
494
00:27:00.279 --> 00:27:02.839
and eggs, and then people would buy them. You you
495
00:27:02.839 --> 00:27:06.160
can get a roller quarters every once a week at commissary.
496
00:27:06.920 --> 00:27:09.480
That's another thing, commersary. You go to commercary, you buy
497
00:27:09.680 --> 00:27:12.519
you know, whatever you want to buy, you know, candy bars.
498
00:27:12.640 --> 00:27:15.240
I I think cigarettes were allowed when I was there.
499
00:27:15.279 --> 00:27:19.400
I'm not sure. They eventually went protein powder, you know,
500
00:27:19.519 --> 00:27:23.559
ice cream, h and a roller quarters, a whole bunch
501
00:27:23.599 --> 00:27:27.000
of stuff on the menu. So you use your quarters
502
00:27:27.039 --> 00:27:30.319
to pay Solomon, you know, two dollars for a slice
503
00:27:30.319 --> 00:27:33.039
of kishe and that was like people would die for
504
00:27:33.119 --> 00:27:34.720
that stuff. It was really good.
505
00:27:36.839 --> 00:27:42.920
So literally die because we're talking about No, I gotta
506
00:27:42.960 --> 00:27:46.200
watch it because you know, no, it's with this with this.
507
00:27:46.240 --> 00:27:52.240
Crew, you'd ever know exactly, all right. So then after
508
00:27:52.319 --> 00:27:57.519
dinner we would go to the outdoor wreck. Well, no,
509
00:27:57.559 --> 00:27:59.319
you had a choice, you go to outdoor wreck. But
510
00:27:59.359 --> 00:28:03.240
at certain point it would it got too dark. They'd say, okay,
511
00:28:04.079 --> 00:28:05.880
I don't know what they used to say, indoor, you know,
512
00:28:05.920 --> 00:28:08.920
get inside or something. They'd say some announcement and there
513
00:28:08.960 --> 00:28:10.039
was an indoors.
514
00:28:09.799 --> 00:28:12.359
Trying to kim on the announcement. They were with everybody
515
00:28:12.559 --> 00:28:14.559
get inside or something.
516
00:28:15.319 --> 00:28:20.880
Yeah, so the outside track was half a mile exactly,
517
00:28:21.000 --> 00:28:23.440
or a third of a mile exactly. The inside track,
518
00:28:23.519 --> 00:28:25.880
I'm not sure what it was, but because there was weavy,
519
00:28:26.200 --> 00:28:30.400
you know, wove around all the the the three different dorms.
520
00:28:30.680 --> 00:28:33.160
You can google FCI pleasant and you can get an
521
00:28:33.200 --> 00:28:36.559
aerial shot of it and see what I'm talking about.
522
00:28:36.640 --> 00:28:39.279
And uh, and then there's a baseball. It was funny
523
00:28:39.279 --> 00:28:40.160
there was a baseball.
524
00:28:40.400 --> 00:28:40.519
Uh.
525
00:28:41.039 --> 00:28:44.039
They played softball all the time. And me and Lina
526
00:28:44.039 --> 00:28:48.680
would walk around the track and the softball field is here,
527
00:28:48.880 --> 00:28:51.839
and we'd walk like this way, you know, we'd walk
528
00:28:52.000 --> 00:28:53.920
all the way down, go around the soft with We'll
529
00:28:53.920 --> 00:28:55.640
go all the way back up here and go back
530
00:28:55.680 --> 00:28:58.519
around and go all the way down. And she'd look
531
00:28:59.279 --> 00:29:02.759
every time we go. Remember she's rushing. Not American. She
532
00:29:02.799 --> 00:29:05.640
did grew up with baseball. And finally she says, what
533
00:29:05.759 --> 00:29:08.480
is this stupid game? They throw the ball and everybody claps.
534
00:29:09.480 --> 00:29:12.759
That's how she interpreted baseball or softball. They throw the
535
00:29:12.759 --> 00:29:18.880
ball and everybody claps. So anyways, after we walked this outdoor,
536
00:29:19.119 --> 00:29:21.039
we had to go inside because it's getting too dark,
537
00:29:21.119 --> 00:29:25.000
and we walked around the inner courtyard. We walked ten
538
00:29:25.039 --> 00:29:31.359
miles every single day. That was not my exercise routine.
539
00:29:31.799 --> 00:29:33.720
That was not tennis, that was not weightlifting, that was
540
00:29:33.759 --> 00:29:37.279
not running. That was walking with Lana two and a
541
00:29:37.319 --> 00:29:43.000
half hours NonStop, didn't rest and back then I timed it.
542
00:29:43.079 --> 00:29:47.960
You can walk fifteen miles fifteen minutes per mile, so
543
00:29:48.000 --> 00:29:51.119
two and a half hours is ten miles. So you
544
00:29:51.240 --> 00:29:53.720
get really really really good shape.
545
00:29:54.680 --> 00:29:57.240
Now that way you're doing that to be in shape,
546
00:29:57.319 --> 00:29:59.799
you're doing that to pass time, past.
547
00:29:59.519 --> 00:30:01.160
Time until talk to your girlfriend.
548
00:30:01.920 --> 00:30:02.400
Yeah, you know.
549
00:30:04.000 --> 00:30:04.119
So?
550
00:30:04.640 --> 00:30:07.359
And are there other activities? Is all of this really
551
00:30:07.440 --> 00:30:11.680
just to past time quicker? Or do you really get
552
00:30:11.680 --> 00:30:12.720
into a lot of this stuff.
553
00:30:13.119 --> 00:30:15.559
No, there's all kinds of activities, as many activities as
554
00:30:15.559 --> 00:30:18.039
they could do. They want you active. They don't want
555
00:30:18.079 --> 00:30:21.720
you planning escape or getting inactive and get into fights
556
00:30:21.720 --> 00:30:25.279
and row. So there's the hobby murdering right, yeah, right,
557
00:30:25.440 --> 00:30:28.000
village and plunder right, and it could be the girls.
558
00:30:28.319 --> 00:30:31.559
Oh I got to talk about that. One of the
559
00:30:31.599 --> 00:30:34.680
funny instances, and I get back to the hobby shop
560
00:30:35.319 --> 00:30:40.960
was the Bobba incense. Remember the boba incident? Lorraine Boba Okay.
561
00:30:41.359 --> 00:30:44.359
Bobb it, yeah, bobb it Okay, I have a really
562
00:30:44.359 --> 00:30:46.000
funny story about that, but go ahead.
563
00:30:46.200 --> 00:30:48.960
Okay. So for those that don't know the Bobbitt story,
564
00:30:49.200 --> 00:30:51.799
Lorraine Bobbitt got mad at her boyfriend and cut his
565
00:30:51.880 --> 00:30:54.400
dick off and threw it out the window. Is that
566
00:30:54.440 --> 00:30:55.200
the story, Todd?
567
00:30:55.480 --> 00:30:58.160
Yeah? Yeah, okay, and then then he went down and
568
00:30:58.160 --> 00:30:59.960
grabbed it and went to the emergency room.
569
00:31:00.119 --> 00:31:04.359
Yeah, okay, so that's a Now you can imagine two
570
00:31:04.440 --> 00:31:09.839
thirds women, rough, tough women. They were walking on cloud
571
00:31:09.960 --> 00:31:13.920
nine and the guys are tiptoy around, walking on eggshells.
572
00:31:15.680 --> 00:31:19.759
And Lana started as her sick. You better be careful.
573
00:31:19.799 --> 00:31:21.440
I'm gonna cut your balls off and send them to
574
00:31:21.480 --> 00:31:24.200
your mother. Western Union. You know, the women's there were
575
00:31:24.319 --> 00:31:26.759
just they were just thrilled. What a novel idea. So
576
00:31:27.000 --> 00:31:29.319
if anyone who was arguing at that time, and you
577
00:31:29.319 --> 00:31:31.880
have your normal arguments, everyone's arguing and fighting it not
578
00:31:32.279 --> 00:31:36.799
you know, yea, the same as normal, all right, but
579
00:31:36.960 --> 00:31:39.680
people getting arguments, I'm gonna cut your dick off, you know,
580
00:31:40.279 --> 00:31:42.839
I'm gonna do a Bobbit on you. And these women
581
00:31:42.880 --> 00:31:43.680
would do it.
582
00:31:45.000 --> 00:31:49.440
Right right right, Yeah, those are the women that would
583
00:31:49.440 --> 00:31:53.039
do it, I think. Lorraine bob was just just went nuts,
584
00:31:53.200 --> 00:31:55.000
had a jealous rage, you know.
585
00:31:55.640 --> 00:31:58.240
Yeah, I don't know why, but all I know is
586
00:31:58.279 --> 00:32:01.920
that the reaction in prison with two thirds aggressive assert
587
00:32:02.000 --> 00:32:06.319
of women, it was not good for us guys.
588
00:32:06.799 --> 00:32:08.640
Yeah, that's for sure. Right.
589
00:32:08.680 --> 00:32:11.279
So the hobby shop that was, you know, people would
590
00:32:11.279 --> 00:32:14.640
make all kinds of things, you know, with vases and
591
00:32:15.240 --> 00:32:16.799
woodwork and stuff, but.
592
00:32:16.880 --> 00:32:18.559
On ceramics and stuff like that.
593
00:32:18.720 --> 00:32:22.839
Yeah, yeah, ceramics. And on top of the it was
594
00:32:22.880 --> 00:32:26.279
a little off. It was inside a room. Then there
595
00:32:26.319 --> 00:32:29.680
was an office and on top of the office was
596
00:32:31.039 --> 00:32:34.480
one of our hotels. So for a couple of times,
597
00:32:34.559 --> 00:32:38.359
Barrett is that was the guard's name. He would let
598
00:32:38.440 --> 00:32:40.759
us at lunch time, instead of going to lunch, we
599
00:32:40.880 --> 00:32:43.960
go the hobby shop and go up on top and
600
00:32:43.960 --> 00:32:47.559
make love up there. All right, So that was another hotel,
601
00:32:47.880 --> 00:32:50.079
but that was a reserve just for me and Lana.
602
00:32:50.720 --> 00:32:53.039
And by the way, let me tell you what I told.
603
00:32:53.559 --> 00:32:55.599
His name is Willard Barrett, and he said he'll be
604
00:32:55.640 --> 00:32:58.839
on our podcast and tell some stories that I didn't
605
00:32:58.839 --> 00:33:02.279
know because it was all secret, hushush. You didn't tell
606
00:33:02.319 --> 00:33:04.799
anyone where your secret spot is because you didn't want
607
00:33:04.839 --> 00:33:06.759
them to use it. Even if it's your best friend,
608
00:33:07.039 --> 00:33:09.519
because somehow it'll get out and you could get busted
609
00:33:09.839 --> 00:33:12.240
or you lose the spot. You know, the police know
610
00:33:12.279 --> 00:33:14.519
where it is, and you don't want to lose your
611
00:33:14.519 --> 00:33:20.480
sex spot. Okay, So anyways, a good tip, so I
612
00:33:20.519 --> 00:33:22.880
told Barrett, I said, and then my other spot was
613
00:33:23.440 --> 00:33:25.759
and that was the best spot where I would make
614
00:33:25.960 --> 00:33:28.200
I was, did I talk about this in a previous episode.
615
00:33:28.200 --> 00:33:33.039
I'm not sure we were. I would do the movie
616
00:33:33.039 --> 00:33:36.680
projector that was my job, and the movie projector, which
617
00:33:37.160 --> 00:33:40.119
would be you know, all these people were sitting on
618
00:33:40.279 --> 00:33:44.279
chairs watching a movie. Well, Barrett would let us pull
619
00:33:44.319 --> 00:33:47.759
the accordion door sliding doors shut and there's a room
620
00:33:47.799 --> 00:33:50.519
behind that. It was actually the chapel, and we'd sneak
621
00:33:50.559 --> 00:33:52.400
in there and dinner. In the entire movie, we'd be
622
00:33:52.440 --> 00:33:54.559
making love. And then at the end of the movie,
623
00:33:54.599 --> 00:33:56.960
he said, okay, it's all clear, and I let her out.
624
00:33:57.039 --> 00:33:59.319
And then I'd come out and we'd go to the bathroom.
625
00:33:59.319 --> 00:34:02.519
Because everybody waiting a line to see the next movie
626
00:34:02.839 --> 00:34:04.799
would be either waiting a line for an hour, they
627
00:34:04.799 --> 00:34:06.200
had to go to the bathroom. They rushed into the
628
00:34:06.200 --> 00:34:08.599
bathroom and then me and Lana would know. I'm in
629
00:34:08.639 --> 00:34:10.920
there cleaning up the chairs. That was my job. But
630
00:34:11.000 --> 00:34:13.039
she'd come out of the bathroom just like she was
631
00:34:13.079 --> 00:34:15.599
waiting a line and go out with you know, other
632
00:34:15.599 --> 00:34:18.360
people that rushed in there and then came out. So
633
00:34:18.480 --> 00:34:19.920
that was our start. I said, Barrett, I'll pay you
634
00:34:19.920 --> 00:34:23.880
fifty thousand dollars. Let me and Lana use the hobby
635
00:34:23.880 --> 00:34:31.280
shop and or the behind the curtains. And he said, okay,
636
00:34:31.559 --> 00:34:36.119
that was our deal. Never paid a fifty thousand. After
637
00:34:36.159 --> 00:34:38.239
I got up in prison, I started a publicly trading company.
638
00:34:38.239 --> 00:34:40.320
I started the first public trading company in the pot
639
00:34:40.320 --> 00:34:47.079
stocks called Medical Marijuana, Inc. With Don Steinberg, and I
640
00:34:47.119 --> 00:34:50.559
gave him fifty thousand dollars of stock. I tracked him down,
641
00:34:51.039 --> 00:34:53.559
found him, says Barrett, I'm giving you the fifty thousand
642
00:34:53.639 --> 00:34:56.559
dollars of stock. He cashed the stock out. He put
643
00:34:56.559 --> 00:34:59.360
his daughter through college and bought her a new car.
644
00:35:00.559 --> 00:35:02.559
Six months later, he goes, you know, I put her
645
00:35:02.559 --> 00:35:04.159
through college that money you gave me, and I bought
646
00:35:04.159 --> 00:35:08.639
a new car. Just no, she has no she's not
647
00:35:08.719 --> 00:35:11.679
grateful at all. I go, Barrett, welcome to parenting.
648
00:35:12.280 --> 00:35:14.679
Yeah, exactly exactly.
649
00:35:16.000 --> 00:35:18.360
I'm sure you know because I've been to your house
650
00:35:18.400 --> 00:35:21.880
with you, you and your daughter. You know, they turn
651
00:35:22.159 --> 00:35:24.800
for those that don't know who have beautiful, sweet little daughters.
652
00:35:25.000 --> 00:35:26.960
When they turn thirteen, they will turn on you.
653
00:35:27.480 --> 00:35:29.599
Okay, they definitely do. Yeah.
654
00:35:29.639 --> 00:35:32.519
But then when they get older, Yeah, they come back
655
00:35:32.559 --> 00:35:35.360
and it's everything's wonderful and you get to live happily
656
00:35:35.440 --> 00:35:38.679
ever after. That's right, all right? So these are the
657
00:35:38.920 --> 00:35:42.199
I mean, those are the exciting moments. It's the exciting moments.
658
00:35:42.199 --> 00:35:45.039
Just getting to make love in prison with a woman,
659
00:35:45.639 --> 00:35:47.880
I mean, and being and genuine.
660
00:35:47.960 --> 00:35:49.719
Are you used to just doing that with men up
661
00:35:49.719 --> 00:35:50.280
to that point?
662
00:35:51.320 --> 00:35:58.239
No? Yeah, again that there is no predatory homosexual sex
663
00:35:58.239 --> 00:35:59.960
because there's plenty of gay people.
664
00:36:01.519 --> 00:36:04.119
So well, there is now, so there wasn't back then.
665
00:36:05.280 --> 00:36:08.320
Not in the medium security No, because if there's a
666
00:36:08.360 --> 00:36:11.000
problem medium security and you get in trouble, you get
667
00:36:11.000 --> 00:36:14.360
shipped to maximum security, and there's plenty of gay guys
668
00:36:14.440 --> 00:36:18.039
that you know and that will have them, you know,
669
00:36:18.199 --> 00:36:20.960
to have a gay relationship. You don't need to go
670
00:36:21.000 --> 00:36:23.880
after someone who's straight, you know, and they and they don't.
671
00:36:24.280 --> 00:36:26.599
At least in my experience in county jails, that never
672
00:36:26.639 --> 00:36:29.519
happened to me. In Texas can it never happened, and
673
00:36:29.719 --> 00:36:33.639
nor did I see it happening. You know, that's maximum
674
00:36:33.639 --> 00:36:35.960
security when you see all these horrible things that go
675
00:36:36.079 --> 00:36:39.599
down or state prisons you know, which are not they're
676
00:36:39.639 --> 00:36:40.400
different than feds.
677
00:36:41.119 --> 00:36:44.360
Got it, Got it? So what we're what were knights like?
678
00:36:44.480 --> 00:36:47.599
So you're you're after dinner, you have your after dinner activity,
679
00:36:47.639 --> 00:36:50.320
whatever that is, and then what are what are nights like?
680
00:36:50.360 --> 00:36:51.400
And when is lights out?
681
00:36:52.239 --> 00:36:55.960
Most of my nights? Not most? Three nights a week.
682
00:36:55.960 --> 00:36:58.960
We're in school, all right, So I go to class
683
00:36:59.000 --> 00:37:01.480
for an hour. I remember one time, I'll tell you
684
00:37:01.480 --> 00:37:05.039
a funny story, and then I go out and walk
685
00:37:05.079 --> 00:37:08.360
with Lana, you know, until it was I think it
686
00:37:08.400 --> 00:37:11.079
was eight o'clock count. I'm not sure ten o'clock count. No,
687
00:37:11.159 --> 00:37:14.239
I think at eight o'clock they go count time, and
688
00:37:14.519 --> 00:37:18.239
everybody go back to the units again, stand up, They
689
00:37:18.280 --> 00:37:22.599
come by and count, make sure nobody's escaped again, and
690
00:37:22.639 --> 00:37:24.880
then you're done. Now you have to hang out in
691
00:37:24.920 --> 00:37:28.639
your dorm, and you have your rooms, and then you
692
00:37:28.719 --> 00:37:32.119
have the common area, big common area. And every time
693
00:37:32.159 --> 00:37:34.199
you read a book and you finished the book, you'd
694
00:37:34.199 --> 00:37:35.960
put it down in the common area on a table,
695
00:37:36.199 --> 00:37:39.159
so somebody who wanted to read that book could do that.
696
00:37:39.239 --> 00:37:41.320
So you had the bookball Bile, and you had other
697
00:37:41.360 --> 00:37:44.000
people just dropping off books that they're done reading, they
698
00:37:44.000 --> 00:37:48.320
don't want to read anymore. I mostly studied and read
699
00:37:48.840 --> 00:37:54.480
after count time. You know, I didn't need to mingle.
700
00:37:54.800 --> 00:37:56.840
I mean, you could do your Yeah, there's a laundry room,
701
00:37:56.880 --> 00:37:59.719
you could do your laundry. Showers, you take a shower.
702
00:38:00.199 --> 00:38:02.599
You can make a phone call, you know, you put
703
00:38:02.639 --> 00:38:05.239
your quarters to the phone booth or call collect. I
704
00:38:05.239 --> 00:38:09.159
think you know you called collect. So sometimes I'd make
705
00:38:09.199 --> 00:38:11.800
microphone calls. A lot of times I made phone calls
706
00:38:12.480 --> 00:38:16.679
because you're still running, sort of running the world or
707
00:38:16.760 --> 00:38:19.480
a world or some part of your world out there,
708
00:38:19.639 --> 00:38:22.159
you know, like when I would call my assistant, you know,
709
00:38:22.199 --> 00:38:23.960
my sister in law, and tell I write a letter
710
00:38:24.000 --> 00:38:27.119
to this person, write this what or this? Get me
711
00:38:27.199 --> 00:38:31.079
this book, you know, send Aubrey this, my son, or
712
00:38:31.119 --> 00:38:34.199
send Jeremy this. So she did. She was like a secretary.
713
00:38:34.480 --> 00:38:37.440
So you'd have to call out. But mostly for me
714
00:38:37.599 --> 00:38:41.360
was reading at that time, and then you go to sleep.
715
00:38:41.360 --> 00:38:43.599
But I tried as hard as I could to get
716
00:38:43.679 --> 00:38:45.880
less than eight hours of sleep so I could read
717
00:38:45.920 --> 00:38:49.400
more and I couldn't. I needed that eight hours and
718
00:38:49.440 --> 00:38:52.920
so you're getting a lot of good rest. The most
719
00:38:52.920 --> 00:38:58.639
common thing people say in prison is this is added
720
00:38:58.719 --> 00:39:02.519
ten years to my life. Added ten years, added ten
721
00:39:02.599 --> 00:39:05.599
years to my life. And it's true. You know, you
722
00:39:05.639 --> 00:39:08.639
get into that kind of routine. No stress, no electric bill,
723
00:39:08.760 --> 00:39:12.880
no in my case, no smuggling, you know, no boat payments,
724
00:39:13.000 --> 00:39:16.679
no buying boats, no renting boats, no laundring money all
725
00:39:16.679 --> 00:39:19.480
over the world, running at an empire with two hundred employees,
726
00:39:20.039 --> 00:39:23.119
you know, building this giant house up in Yukaya with
727
00:39:23.280 --> 00:39:28.719
mud slides, you know. So none of that exists, and
728
00:39:28.800 --> 00:39:32.239
so it takes a few years too. And the other
729
00:39:32.280 --> 00:39:35.280
thing about being in prison is really cool. You don't
730
00:39:35.280 --> 00:39:38.599
forget anything, you know. No, it's seventy five you sent
731
00:39:38.639 --> 00:39:43.679
to start forgetting some things. But with these podcasts, I remember,
732
00:39:43.840 --> 00:39:46.840
you're forced to remember everything. But the point is you
733
00:39:46.920 --> 00:39:50.400
reflect on life. And when you go away for a weekend,
734
00:39:50.800 --> 00:39:52.719
you reflect on life. Right, you say, am I doing
735
00:39:52.719 --> 00:39:54.639
things right? When you go away for a two week
736
00:39:54.760 --> 00:39:58.519
vacation or one week vacation, you reflect on life and
737
00:39:58.559 --> 00:40:01.079
you think about stuff, doing this right? So I changed
738
00:40:01.159 --> 00:40:04.320
my job, whatever you're thinking of. But when you're in
739
00:40:04.360 --> 00:40:08.159
prison for six months, a year, two years, you don't
740
00:40:08.199 --> 00:40:12.159
forget anything that happened. You're reflecting on it and reflecting
741
00:40:12.199 --> 00:40:17.639
on certain things for two years later and three years later,
742
00:40:17.719 --> 00:40:20.599
four years later. Gives you a keen insight that you
743
00:40:20.639 --> 00:40:23.840
don't get ever because you're too busy living life to
744
00:40:23.880 --> 00:40:30.360
reflect on life. Right, So that was another cool thing
745
00:40:30.400 --> 00:40:34.079
that happened in prison. Another cool thing. Let's see some
746
00:40:34.199 --> 00:40:38.119
fun stories hotels, all right. I worked in the children's center.
747
00:40:38.960 --> 00:40:41.679
And what that was when somebody would come a mail
748
00:40:41.719 --> 00:40:44.320
and you know, a wife or a husband would come
749
00:40:44.440 --> 00:40:48.480
visit their married partner in prison. You're in this big
750
00:40:48.559 --> 00:40:51.599
room and you're sitting on tables and you're talking to
751
00:40:51.639 --> 00:40:54.760
each other. And if you bring the children, the children
752
00:40:54.760 --> 00:40:56.719
could hang out with the parents for a while. And
753
00:40:56.719 --> 00:40:59.239
if the parents wouldn't talk personal stuff or you know,
754
00:40:59.519 --> 00:41:01.400
I'm going to be in here for life, or you know,
755
00:41:01.840 --> 00:41:04.679
you know, without the children, they'd sent them to the
756
00:41:04.760 --> 00:41:06.960
children's center, which was right next to the visiting room.
757
00:41:07.480 --> 00:41:10.480
I worked at the children's center. So when Roses kids came,
758
00:41:11.320 --> 00:41:14.519
I day in hiro. I taught them tumbling and we
759
00:41:14.599 --> 00:41:15.960
had you know, it was just a lot of fun.
760
00:41:16.000 --> 00:41:18.320
Or we worked with them and we had to take courses.
761
00:41:18.440 --> 00:41:22.840
We had to read the books Parent Pet, Parent Affected
762
00:41:22.920 --> 00:41:25.480
Us Training, three volumes, which is a great book for
763
00:41:25.559 --> 00:41:28.360
any parent. You know, nobody teaches you how to be
764
00:41:28.440 --> 00:41:31.360
a parent. You think you know because the way.
765
00:41:31.239 --> 00:41:33.119
Your parents were. That's right.
766
00:41:33.480 --> 00:41:36.079
Yeah, go read Parent Affected Us Training, you know. I
767
00:41:36.079 --> 00:41:38.320
think they've condensed it to one volume and tells you
768
00:41:38.360 --> 00:41:42.320
there's three kinds of parenting style lifestyles. Your average yours
769
00:41:42.360 --> 00:41:44.320
going to turn out this way if you do this
770
00:41:44.360 --> 00:41:48.360
style this way. Viewed this style statistically not a one
771
00:41:48.400 --> 00:41:51.480
hundred percent time. So we read all that. We studied
772
00:41:51.519 --> 00:41:56.440
about kids, and we also studied about children of incarcerated parents.
773
00:41:56.880 --> 00:42:00.960
That's a devastating effect on the child child. When a
774
00:42:01.079 --> 00:42:06.239
child gets their parents taken away from they don't say,
775
00:42:07.079 --> 00:42:10.519
like Matthew, Okay, Matthew was cert on his son. At
776
00:42:10.559 --> 00:42:13.719
seven or eight, she was raided by the FBI and
777
00:42:13.760 --> 00:42:17.400
her mother and his mother and father were arrested. Matthew
778
00:42:17.519 --> 00:42:19.880
or any other child in that circumstances see it as
779
00:42:19.920 --> 00:42:22.559
being abandoned. They don't rationalize. So she was a spy.
780
00:42:22.679 --> 00:42:27.400
She was working for her country. No, they abandoned me.
781
00:42:27.760 --> 00:42:33.159
So the whole psychological impact of children of incarcerated parents
782
00:42:33.400 --> 00:42:37.000
is devastating. And Matthew turned out to be a freaking sociopath,
783
00:42:37.440 --> 00:42:39.679
you know, stole money from his mother, from his father,
784
00:42:39.760 --> 00:42:44.400
from me, and he's still stealing money from people. All right,
785
00:42:44.880 --> 00:42:49.480
and well, what happened with your kids? Same thing, But
786
00:42:49.599 --> 00:42:51.800
the difference with my kids is I try and be
787
00:42:51.840 --> 00:42:55.239
there as much as possible. One I would. You know,
788
00:42:55.440 --> 00:42:59.480
in prison, my job paid eleven cents an hour, so
789
00:42:59.519 --> 00:43:01.400
you don't make a lot of money. But once a
790
00:43:01.440 --> 00:43:05.079
month I would send both Aubrey and Jeremy five dollars
791
00:43:05.199 --> 00:43:08.360
child support, so at least they know that there's something
792
00:43:08.519 --> 00:43:11.360
that I haven't forgotten. I'm abandoned them. I'm making an effort.
793
00:43:11.559 --> 00:43:15.679
And every Monday I would write the Monday letter to Aubrey,
794
00:43:15.880 --> 00:43:19.679
and every Tuesday I would write the Tuesday letter to Jeremy,
795
00:43:20.559 --> 00:43:23.880
and I would number them. So I think I was
796
00:43:23.960 --> 00:43:26.599
up to like the Monday and Tuesday letter number three
797
00:43:26.679 --> 00:43:29.440
hundred and sixty five, you know, when I got out
798
00:43:29.480 --> 00:43:32.480
of prison. So every week they got a letter from
799
00:43:32.519 --> 00:43:36.840
their dad, and that includes pictures, includes articles. I would
800
00:43:36.840 --> 00:43:40.599
say something like, dear Aubrey the empathic, you know, And
801
00:43:40.599 --> 00:43:43.079
then they do dear Jeremy the empathic. Do you know
802
00:43:43.119 --> 00:43:46.159
what the word empathic means? And I would, So I'm
803
00:43:46.760 --> 00:43:50.000
expanding their vocabulary and trying to teach them big words,
804
00:43:50.679 --> 00:43:53.880
you know that. And I did that every single week
805
00:43:53.960 --> 00:43:57.039
for all those weeks. So at least they knew. Now
806
00:43:57.199 --> 00:44:00.199
did it change the fact that I abandoned them? It
807
00:44:00.239 --> 00:44:02.840
doesn't matter if some kids will say, well, if you
808
00:44:03.000 --> 00:44:05.880
loved me, you want to be a smuggler, or you
809
00:44:05.920 --> 00:44:07.920
want to rob the bank, or you want to and
810
00:44:08.440 --> 00:44:13.320
you know, did this, So that's how they rationalize it.
811
00:44:13.559 --> 00:44:16.280
So we learned all that in the children's center. Okay,
812
00:44:17.280 --> 00:44:20.039
so now back to the visiting room. So now you
813
00:44:20.079 --> 00:44:24.079
have a guy, a guy visiting his wife in prison.
814
00:44:25.280 --> 00:44:29.039
Now let's reverse it. A woman visiting her okay, her
815
00:44:29.159 --> 00:44:31.920
her her husband in prison, and they're sitting there talking
816
00:44:32.559 --> 00:44:37.000
and the guy who's in prison says, you see, you
817
00:44:37.000 --> 00:44:40.039
know David Roads over there visiting his wife. Yeah, well,
818
00:44:40.079 --> 00:44:45.079
his girlfriend, Judy is visiting somebody, and they're watching each
819
00:44:45.119 --> 00:44:48.079
other because she Judy wants to see if David's gonna
820
00:44:48.119 --> 00:44:52.440
kiss his wife, because she's gonna be jealous because in
821
00:44:52.480 --> 00:44:56.920
prison they're a couple, and and uh and vice versa.
822
00:44:57.079 --> 00:44:59.599
David's looking at Judy. Is she gonna is he holding
823
00:44:59.639 --> 00:45:02.119
hands with her with her ex husband or you know?
824
00:45:02.639 --> 00:45:05.119
And this is going on with all the couples in there,
825
00:45:05.679 --> 00:45:08.920
you know, right and so and the guy says, so
826
00:45:09.000 --> 00:45:11.960
the guy. So the wife says to the guy after
827
00:45:12.000 --> 00:45:13.639
he points it out and says, well, do you have
828
00:45:13.679 --> 00:45:16.719
a girlfriend in here? Oh no, not me. He just
829
00:45:16.760 --> 00:45:19.440
blew it because they all did.
830
00:45:20.159 --> 00:45:21.559
Sure, Sure, that's funny.
831
00:45:21.599 --> 00:45:23.320
And I was divorced so I could be with Lana.
832
00:45:23.400 --> 00:45:25.519
You know, Becky and I were divorced, you know, I
833
00:45:25.559 --> 00:45:27.719
don't know, six months a year before I went to jail.
834
00:45:29.519 --> 00:45:32.880
So so that was a scene that was hysterical, watching
835
00:45:32.920 --> 00:45:35.239
the couples. And I'd sit there, you know, when Becky
836
00:45:35.239 --> 00:45:38.719
would come and visit, and I'd watch all these couples,
837
00:45:39.000 --> 00:45:41.360
and I would tell Becky what's going on because it
838
00:45:41.400 --> 00:45:43.320
didn't matter with us because we were you know, she
839
00:45:43.400 --> 00:45:46.119
was already remarried. And uh, and you know, I had
840
00:45:46.119 --> 00:45:49.719
a girlfriend who was a Russian spy. So that was unhysterically.
841
00:45:50.039 --> 00:45:52.960
But right, so now next door is the children's Center.
842
00:45:53.400 --> 00:45:57.039
One last quick story again, the hotels are very important.
843
00:45:57.480 --> 00:45:59.760
One by one, we were sneaking in two by fours
844
00:45:59.880 --> 00:46:04.159
into the children's center from Unicorn, you know, they bring
845
00:46:04.199 --> 00:46:06.440
it two by four and I would take it into
846
00:46:06.440 --> 00:46:09.960
the bathroom, up through the ceiling, cross the ceiling into
847
00:46:10.000 --> 00:46:14.440
the rafters and lay it down all right. Later, lay
848
00:46:14.440 --> 00:46:16.480
the next one, lay the next one. And I couldn't
849
00:46:16.519 --> 00:46:18.440
nail him down, so I had to tie him down
850
00:46:18.480 --> 00:46:22.679
with a rope. And that became a bed up there,
851
00:46:23.199 --> 00:46:26.519
and that's where Mikey and I Day would go up
852
00:46:26.519 --> 00:46:29.320
there and they would make love up there. I think,
853
00:46:29.719 --> 00:46:31.920
I'm pretty sure, I'm not, you know, not.
854
00:46:32.920 --> 00:46:33.719
They were making love.
855
00:46:34.880 --> 00:46:35.960
Yeah, they were making love.
856
00:46:36.360 --> 00:46:36.559
Yeah.
857
00:46:37.199 --> 00:46:41.000
Ida was a class act, you know, and Mikey was
858
00:46:41.039 --> 00:46:45.960
a cool guy. So so that was another apartment. The Carol.
859
00:46:45.960 --> 00:46:49.280
One time, there's a big box out in the wreck
860
00:46:49.360 --> 00:46:52.000
yard in the weight pile, I mean huge box like
861
00:46:52.039 --> 00:46:54.000
a coffin, and that's where you put the weights.
862
00:46:54.079 --> 00:46:54.239
Right.
863
00:46:54.400 --> 00:46:56.400
Well, we'd empty the weights and Carol would jump in
864
00:46:56.440 --> 00:47:01.119
there with her boyfriend and they joe and they'd have sex.
865
00:47:01.320 --> 00:47:04.280
And one time she said she was in there and
866
00:47:04.280 --> 00:47:06.639
and these big red ants started biting her and she
867
00:47:06.679 --> 00:47:11.159
could hear the she could hear the guard talking, you know,
868
00:47:11.239 --> 00:47:13.199
and she couldn't get out. She couldn't move, and nobody
869
00:47:13.199 --> 00:47:15.199
could let her out because the guard was right there.
870
00:47:15.440 --> 00:47:17.119
So she got picked up by the ants and then
871
00:47:17.159 --> 00:47:20.039
finally the guard left and they let her out. Another time,
872
00:47:20.400 --> 00:47:23.719
Patty Love, who is Brother Love from Who's a Big
873
00:47:24.000 --> 00:47:26.760
smuggling from the cop to Syon cop to church down
874
00:47:26.760 --> 00:47:32.079
in Jamaica. For those who remember that story, she's there's
875
00:47:32.119 --> 00:47:36.039
three girls pulling the chicken off of the chicken things
876
00:47:36.039 --> 00:47:38.039
to make chicken soup, you know, for the next day.
877
00:47:39.039 --> 00:47:41.119
And they're in the kitchen doing it on the table
878
00:47:41.239 --> 00:47:44.719
and here comes Patty Love falling right through the roof,
879
00:47:44.880 --> 00:47:48.079
right onto their table, chicken butt naked except for one
880
00:47:48.119 --> 00:47:53.280
shoe on. Carol's told me this story. So what they
881
00:47:53.280 --> 00:47:56.840
did They took aprons and they wrapped her, got her
882
00:47:56.920 --> 00:47:59.679
dressed in some aprons, and the three girls that were
883
00:48:00.199 --> 00:48:03.360
in the chicken off the chicken bones circled her and
884
00:48:03.400 --> 00:48:06.800
walked her into the into the woman's units so she
885
00:48:06.840 --> 00:48:09.079
could get dressed and not get caught.
886
00:48:10.159 --> 00:48:13.280
That's funny. Another story, it's almost like it's almost like
887
00:48:13.320 --> 00:48:18.239
a summer camp with all these relationships, all these shenanigans,
888
00:48:18.280 --> 00:48:22.159
all of these sort of clicks that form sounds a
889
00:48:22.159 --> 00:48:25.559
bit like summer camp. And we're gonna learn more about
890
00:48:25.599 --> 00:48:29.480
Bruce's summer camp next week as we delve into his
891
00:48:29.599 --> 00:48:34.320
life as a prisoner in Pleasanton, California, one of only
892
00:48:34.400 --> 00:48:39.000
two co ed prisons in the country at that time
893
00:48:39.119 --> 00:48:43.599
and now has since been closed. But more prison stories
894
00:48:44.000 --> 00:48:48.960
on next week's edition. Anything you want to end with Bruce.
895
00:48:49.760 --> 00:48:52.119
No, We're gonna try and get as many of these
896
00:48:52.320 --> 00:48:55.400
other stories with the real prisoners that were in prison
897
00:48:55.440 --> 00:48:58.320
with me to tell some of the stories because they
898
00:48:58.320 --> 00:49:00.679
were I mean, look, there was a lot of tragedy
899
00:49:00.880 --> 00:49:05.920
there being away from your family, especially for the women,
900
00:49:06.119 --> 00:49:10.360
but mostly it was for me hysterically funny. So we'll
901
00:49:10.400 --> 00:49:12.800
get into some of those funny stories next episode with
902
00:49:12.880 --> 00:49:13.920
the people that were there.
903
00:49:14.639 --> 00:49:17.320
Awesome, Well, he is the King of Pot. He's Bruce
904
00:49:17.360 --> 00:49:21.159
Perlowin I'm Todd Dankan and I am his cousin, and
905
00:49:21.360 --> 00:49:24.239
this is Becoming the King of Pot. Make sure you
906
00:49:24.719 --> 00:49:27.960
like and subscribe right here on YouTube. And if you're
907
00:49:27.960 --> 00:49:31.800
looking for some merch make sure you check out becoming
908
00:49:31.960 --> 00:49:36.000
tkop dot com and you can get t shirts and
909
00:49:36.039 --> 00:49:41.280
hats and memorabilia and some King of Pot posters and
910
00:49:41.320 --> 00:49:43.960
pre rolls and all kinds of cool stuff, so make
911
00:49:44.000 --> 00:49:46.719
sure you check that out. Once again, I'm Todd Dankan.
912
00:49:46.840 --> 00:49:49.760
This is becoming the King of Pots and we'll see
913
00:49:49.800 --> 00:49:50.480
you next time.