Moist?

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Hello! Hi. Welcome back. AK219. Good to see you. Aidan Maloney. Kevan Boland. Thanks for
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being here. It's been a while. I'm just kidding. It's been seven days. Per usual. Well, for
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us it's only been... Kev, you don't have to... You don't have to disclose that. One, two,
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three, four? Four? Five? One, two, three, four. Four days. Four days. Four days, yeah. But
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that's okay. Not that it matters, but our recording schedule does vary on which weekday
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we record to upload by Friday. But that doesn't matter. Because we don't get paid to do this,
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we actually have to make money doing other things, like a job. Right. So some weeks,
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there are different days that we have to record this because of my work schedule, his work
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schedule is always the same, mine isn't because I'm the difficult one in this relationship.
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I think they knew. You always gotta have one. They knew that. Well, you don't, though. Well,
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typically, though, it's like commonplace nowadays, you know? Is it? That one party is like...
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God bless your soul. Wow, sorry about that. One party is unresponsive, doesn't want to
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communicate shits or burps themselves live for the world or listeners to hear. Is this
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based on previous experience? Because I don't know if this is worldwide. No, you said, worldwide?
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This is not Mr. 305 right now. It might be. It's just a PSA that whilst I may not give
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him what he needs, we're still together and we're bringing you fresh content every day.
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Every week. Every day. Maybe twice a week. At least on the YouTube channel. Anyway, PSA
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stands for Pizz, Shed, and Ass. And that means it's time to ride the week something fun,
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funny, wholesome, real, tap in the last seven days. Of course, we have WTF and burning questions
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coming later. And speaking of coming later, Kev, what's your vibe? It's been a pretty
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eventful couple days in terms of our timeline here. Well, only eventful in the fact that
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the hockey that I played last week... Did you get a dub?...was one of the worst three days
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of hockey of my life. Quite. Because Thursday we had a make-up game from Crown Point because
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of the weather. And we went up against the best team that was in the league. We knew
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it was going to be a rough game, but not... I'm going to tell you the score and you're
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not going to believe that I was actually playing the sport of hockey. We lost 18 to 3. I let
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in 18 goals. How much of that was you and how much was your defense? That's always my
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question. Halfway through, I did stop trying because I was just sick of it. You just cooked
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right. Apparently, I don't know how true this is, but one of the kids on their other team,
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I know his dad or his nephew... He's related to someone that I used to play roller hockey
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with and they were both really good on roller hockey. Pretty good, sure. And I heard through
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the grapevine that apparently this kid went over to Finland to play hockey. Okay, that's
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notable. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. You went to Finland to play professional hockey and
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then you come back to Indiana and you play men's league crown point hockey? A good point.
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What the fuck are you doing out here? Yeah. Go home. This is a different league, brother.
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This is beer league. You know, they're up by like 12 and this kid's doing the one-handed
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moves on me and between the legs and scoring and shit. I'm just like, you know what? I'd
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have fought him. I thought about it long and hard afterwards. Fighting him? No, no, no.
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Because me and another teammate of mine, we did not shake hands at the end of that game.
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Oh, with the other team. Yes. Oh, okay. And the other goalie on that team, her name is
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Jessica. I've known her for a little while. She's a great goalie, great person, but you
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know, she shouted at me. She's like, Kevin, come on. Like, that's disrespectful. You can't
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be... I'm just like, just skated off the ice. No. What's disrespectful is running up the
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score. Yeah. And then she came into our locker room and like literally pointed at my face
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and she's like, Kevin, that's disrespectful. She's like, you've been playing hockey your
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whole life. I said, first off, I've only been playing since I was 17, so not my whole fucking
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life. Second off, you know what's disrespectful? Yes, running up the fucking scoreboard like
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that. She's like, well, I didn't do anything. I'm like, well, no shit, you're the goalie.
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But like the fucking team as a whole, like, no, that's uncalled for. I'm like, you're
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not like, you can't... That's bad sportsmanship, running up the score like that. So I'll show
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bad sportsmanship and not shake your fucking hands afterwards. Right. I don't feel bad.
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There's always the argument of like the whole be the bigger person, be the bigger man type
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thing. But like at the same time, through my entire high school years of playing baseball,
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of course they had this thing called the mercy rule, right? Baseball, seven inning games.
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And if one team is beating the other by 10 runs by inning five, they call it. Right.
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So something like that wouldn't happen where I don't know if it's necessarily plausible.
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And I'd like your opinion on this. Like if by the end of period two, if the other team
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is up by like seven goals to just call it there, do you think that would be good or
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bad for like local league hockey? I don't think it's, um, I don't know. Cause the only
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place I play at that they do that is in portage and that's roller hockey. Oh, okay. Excuse
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me. And that is, I believe if they're up by anywhere between eight or 10 goals, there's
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an eight or 10 goals differential though. Just like, I'll call it like not like, not
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in the first period after period, you know, but like, yeah, maybe after period two, or
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of course if there's a, um, this is totally different, but if there's a fight that breaks
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out, they'll call it, just go on in the next game. Right. Um, but no, it just, you know,
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I don't mind playing, uh, in the crown point league. My team is not the greatest obviously,
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but you know, I've known all the guys for years now. I love playing with them. I, I,
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you see, I like, I, I talked with my teammate bill and we were trying to like analyze our
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team and just like, like we got some good players. Like how are we just, how are we
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so bad? But he also brought up a big, uh, point to me about them running up the score
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and shit like that being disrespectful and stuff like that. Cause like he, he said that
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his son plays baseball, I believe. Um, it is nothing pro or anything, but like it's
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a little higher than, uh, beer league baseball. That's even a thing. But, uh, pro or something.
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Yeah. But he was saying that like when he comes home and just like, he doesn't go play
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in men's leagues and you know, does this and you know, just dominates and runs it up
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and like, cause like, where's the fun in that? Yeah. Like if you're double A, you're not
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going to come home and play like a men's softball league or something. That's just not, cause
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he said on Cooth, it might be like a, an immaturity thing with hockey is all these kids, you know,
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they go do all this fun stuff and tear it up and then come home and just fucking ruin
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everyone's day and mood by putting up fucking 18 on a terrible fucking team. So that could
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definitely make a lot of sense. So that was my Thursday hockey game. Friday was terrible.
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I got hit with a double whammy on my skate, which started back up on the 14th. It's Valentine's
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Day. Oh, half the people are like, Oh, I can't, you know, on Valentine's day. I'm like, I
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get it. But the man do something Saturday night. Okay. It doesn't have to be the day
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of for fuck's sake. There's hockey. That's more important. And secondly, I knew it was
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going to snow that night, but not that bad. Dude, that the snow, it came out of nowhere,
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especially in the region, you know, Chicagoland area where we're at, the snow has been crazy.
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Like they'll forecast like, Oh, you might get an intro to Friday and it's four, you
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know, and then Saturday we weren't even forecasted snow and we got two. Well, Friday night, I
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knew it was going to snow. And by the time I left my house at seven o'clock, I'm like,
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and keep in mind, I was already hurting. I only had like, if everyone would have showed
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up, I would have had like 20 to 21 guys. Okay. Which honestly is perfect, but now I'm going
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to have to start making it up by getting like maybe 24 or 26 this week, hopefully. For any
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specific reason? Well, for an hour of ice time and is $410. Oh, okay. The money. Yeah.
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I thought you were talking about the subs, like having no subs. Okay. No, but to get
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extra guys to make up for the money that I'm going to lose because I got to pay for some
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of this out of my pocket. Right. Because when I left my house at seven o'clock, I checked
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my phone. It's like, Oh, snow expected. I'm like, what snow? Right. Right. I don't see
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any snow. And then I get on an 80 94 boom, fucking white out. Yep. Horrible. It's a nightmare.
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Fucking terrible. I ended up getting there and you know, sure as shit, I checked my phone
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when I park and then there's like eight texts I missed and stuff like that. It's like, Hey,
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sorry, I can't make it because of the weather. Right. I'm like, fuck. So even the other goalie
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was late by like 20 minutes. Damn. So we had to put that shooter tutor in the net. But
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I mean, everyone who showed up still said that it was a lot of fun. I felt bad for him
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though, because it all in all, I had 13 guys make it. Right. So you do what you can with
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what you got, right? That's true. I ended up walking out of there with $200 cash. Some
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people sent me money on, you know, Zelle, all the other money apps and stuff like that.
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But I mean, I'll have to take some of it out of my own money to pay for that, which you
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know, it happens, but yeah, not that bad. So I'm just hoping this week will be better.
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What's the going rate for an hour of ice? What do you mean going to cost $410? Oh, 410.
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Oh, wow. Yeah. Okay. So that's why like 22 guys, I care it's 20 bucks a person. That's
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enough to cover it with just a little bit leftover. So I feel like weeks like that.
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Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That makes sense. But and then I had another game Saturday in Crown
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Point. That one also did not go well at all because at the end of this game, they did
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something even more stupid than I thought the last team did that ran the score about
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us. They fucking, once again, the score was just astronomically just bad. And one of their
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defensemen literally just like turned around and took a slap shot on their own goalie.
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Like he didn't score, of course, but like just to turn around and just shoot it to your
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own goalie. Like what's wrong with you people? Like what the? I'm sure the, if I'm that goalie
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and my defenseman takes a slap shot at me, dude, I will fight my own teammate. Fuck you.
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What are you doing? I know, right? Like, I'm pretty sure the score was like, you know,
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I don't even want to say it because it's going to piss me off, but a lot to a little. Yeah.
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And you know, they're still doing stuff like that. And I shook these people's hands though.
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Like I literally skated lightning fast through like all of them. I just held up my blocker.
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I didn't even like do the bump motion. And a couple of them were just like, wow, slow
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down there goalie. I was like, no, fuck this. I just want to go home. Like that's also dangerous
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to to take a shot on a goalie. That's not expecting it because no goalie expects their
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own defense to shoot on them. And that's dangerous because if you're ready for a puck and you
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get domed, you know, that sucks. Yeah, it does. If you're not ready for a puck, say you get
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hit in the side of the helmet, dude, that's fucked. I also speaking of getting shot in
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the head with a puck, I did. I think it was Tuesday. I made the initial save and all I
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did was like, I knew he was going to shoot it again. So all I did was just set myself
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in butterfly and I was just waiting for it. And you know, he ended up shooting me right
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here. All right. And so it caught me right in the throat. I have a net guard, but like
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it still hurts a little bit. So it hit me. I'm like, and I clamped down like that. And
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I keep the puck there. So the play gets stopped. I'm like, right. You're right. I'm just like,
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yeah, give me a minute. But other than a kind of lackluster hockey weekend, I really didn't
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do a whole lot. I was I was planning on having a little bit of a Valentine's Day celebration
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with my interest. But sure, just didn't pan out. Well, it was or something. She had work
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on Sunday. Oh, word. Okay. And then I asked her how work was going. And she said, well,
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I didn't go because I'm sick. I'm like, oh, okay. Well, I hope you feel better. I haven't
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heard from her since yesterday. Yeah, that happens. Yeah. But I don't know, hopefully
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sometime soon, something will happen because I feel like when we first started hitting
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things off, I was literally zero to 60 in like one second. Right, right. Everything
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just came out of nowhere. No pun intended. Even though nothing really did yet. But everything
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just happened so fast at the start. And then nothing has happened in like two weeks. Like,
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do we still talk? Yes. But like, I feel like some momentum has been lost here. And I feel
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like I once again need to lay a brick on the fucking pedal and just go. Why not, man? Go
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ahead. Well, I'm trying. Okay, I'm trying. I mean, no pressure, but like, go ahead. I
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mean, no pressure, but I mean, could you speak from experience? I didn't think you could.
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So wait, wait, wait, wait. Just kidding. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Well, damn, that's an unfortunate
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vibe. Hopefully that hockey improves. My vibe has been pretty phenomenal. Not to like spit
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in your face about it all. Not to like shit all over my chest or anything. Exactly. Again,
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but I had a very good weekend. I replayed the modern warfare two and modern warfare
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three campaigns on my 360. Not the new ones. Okay, you showed gamers. I'm talking about
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the classics, bro. The originals, the ones that were actually good. I replayed those
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campaigns had a shit ton of fun. The new ones aren't terrible. However, you can't beat the
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classic. Well, yeah, you can't beat the classic. And however, the new modern warfare three
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campaign kind of is almost like the original modern warfare three campaign because soap
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once again does die. Yeah. I would say spoiler alerts, but both these games have been out
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a long time. You should know this. Yeah. Rest in peace soap. Yeah. Yeah. Rest in peace, Makarov.
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I don't know if he dies in the new one. Oh, fuck that guy. What do you mean rest? He's
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the villain. Rest in poo poo, Makarov. There you go. That's better. Rest in shit stain,
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General Shepard. But yeah, I replayed both of those campaigns. That was a lot of fun.
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Jordan and I watched a horror movie called Hereditary from several years, a couple years
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back I think is when it came out really good. Very much a psychological horror suspense
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type thing. Not a lot of jump scares, but the story itself was just fucking wacky. I
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don't deal well with jump scares, but I love a good horror movie. I haven't seen a good
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one in a while. In fact, I saw a trailer for that Valentine's Day one. Oh, Hard Eyes? Yeah.
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Hard On. Hard On. Hard On the guys. I didn't see. I kind of wanted to because it looked
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like a fair bit of cheese and horror, which I'm kind of into. But then there's that new
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Stephen King movie, The Monkey, I think it's called coming out. That one looks creepy.
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I'm kind of into it. I want to see that one. So besides all that, I've been pretty chill.
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Warwick's been chill. This is the calm time of year. Before the storm. Exactly. Because
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before you know it, July is right around the corner. Don't tell me that. Don't tell me.
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And allow me to enjoy spring when it arrives. It means it's your birthday. Oh, that's also
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true. I'm not saying the horrible workloads that are about to be dumped all over you.
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Speaking of getting dumped on. But it's been super chill. Because when New Year's ends,
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or New Year's Eve ends to when, let's say St. Patrick's Day happens, super dead. There's
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not a lot of people drinking beer. Which is a damn shame because you should be. You should
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be. You're welcome. Not sponsored. Yeah, thank you. But yeah, it's been chill. And I'm enjoying
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it because at some point it's going to become very laborious. We were actually pretty busy
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today. Yeah? Did you sell some treadmills? It's President's Day. You know? Actually,
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everyone else has the day off bringing in the kids. That's why we are recording on Monday,
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President's Day. And I went, I ran some errands after I got off work today. I didn't realize
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that people got this day off. And I went to PetSmart and it's super busy. I'm like, what
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the fuck is everyone doing off? And I went to Aldi to get some groceries done, right?
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Everyone's got the day off but us. Dude, it was fucking packed. And in my mind, I didn't
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make the connection because I didn't fucking know it was a holiday today. And I'm like,
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why is everyone here right now? Is everyone just taking Mondays off all of a sudden? Must
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be nice. Yeah, it must be nice. But that makes more sense because it's a holiday that is
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very, very forgettable. And I forgot it was a holiday. So yeah, I'm glad not to be running
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errands anymore. I'm glad to be doing this show. Well, fuck this. If you ran errands
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after work, what time did you get off? Oh, let's see. I clocked in 545 AM. It was years
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ago. Yeah, years ago. Feels like it. Now, clocked in 545. I think I was off the clock
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by 1230. Damn. I want to say. So it was like a seven ish hour day. But every Monday is
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short. And then Tuesday through Friday is when is when the boning begins. Well, why
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is Monday so short? They just keep it like that. So if you have so they can tease you
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like, oh, you know, seven hour workday, it might be like this the whole week. Nevermind.
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Exactly. Yeah, the Mondays are kept short. So if something goes horrifically awry, Tuesday
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through Friday, they don't have to pay me over time. Is that really why they do that?
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Pretty much. Oh, pretty much. Yeah. It could like, in air quotes, be like, oh, we want
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you to give like an easier start to your week. But no, it's just because Tuesday through
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Friday is harder and they don't want to pay people over time. Well, you know, when they
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go and gets hard, the hard get coming, going. And we're coming to the next segment right
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now with segment. She ding and far ding and sharding is what we've done in the meantime,
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but we're back because we found some funny stories to bring to you on WTF where we find
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local and regional news from around the world. Because national and international news is
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usually very angering, upsetting and saddening. And we find you the goofy things because you
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deserve to know what's really going on around you. And this stuff will actually well, I'm
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not saying national and international news won't make you say what the fuck, but this
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will make you say what the fuck and then laugh. Not say what the fuck and then say why is
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our country so bad? Right. So I have one for you. Okay, go ahead. Go ahead. And for the
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listener and viewer from Fox 35 Orlando. I love Orlando. Florida woman. Whoa. That was
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herself in Mountain Dew to erase DNA after killing roommates in Daytona Beach. Oh my
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God. A Volusia County woman suspected of killing her 79 year old roommate allegedly doused
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herself in soda in an attempt to erase possible evidence on her body. She poured the diet
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Mountain Dew all over her body when police told her they were going to collect her DNA
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as part of the investigation. Her DNA was later found on the handle of a bloody knife
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found lying next to the victim's body at the Daytona Beach home. They shared the affidavit
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stated. So you're saying the Mountain Dew didn't do the trick. It did not. So myth busted.
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It doesn't work. Oh, I get it. I get it. Thanks man. It's not funny. Nicole Max 35 was booked
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into the Volusia County jail on August 5th on charges of first degree murder, tampering
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with evidence and resisting arrest with violence. Wow. During the early morning hours of July
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1st, a Daytona Beach police officer was flagged down by a citizen regarding a fire at a home
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in the 600 block of Clark Street. When firefighters arrived at the scene, they extinguished the
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fire and found a man lying on the floor dead. Oh my God. Is this a different? Hold on. This
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might be a different... Oh no, no, no, no. It's the same story? It is the same story.
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So the fire and the stabbing is related. He had blunt force trauma to the back of his
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head and multiple stab wounds to his torso. He was identified as 79 year old Michael Sarasoli.
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Rest in peace Mike. He's a dad. I'm dying here. Inside the home, police found a bloody
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knife in the victim's bedroom near his body. There was also blood found on the wall next
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to Max's bedroom closet. An agency wide bulletin was put out for Max as a possible person of
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interest in the case. Around 3.30 AM, an officer found Max at a Crystal's restaurant. Looking
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for them lesser sliders. On North Ridgewood Avenue in Holly Hill, she had no shoes on
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and had blood on the side of her leg. I'm guessing it's Michael's. A portion of the
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shirt she was wearing had been torn or cut off. That portion had blood on it. When officers
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approached her, she dropped a knife and a hammer she was carrying, the report stated.
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Authorities said she changed her story multiple times when questioned. She denied knowing
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the victim and said she was homeless. She also denied carrying the knife and hammer,
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the report stated. She later admitted to being his roommate but denied seeing him on the
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day he was killed and in regard to the knife and hammer, she claimed she often carried
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items like that.
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Get
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bleach before, not that I'm giving tips.
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Don't kill people.
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Please.
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Just for future reference,
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pouring Mountain Dew on yourself does not erase the DNA.
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So myth busted, just don't do it.
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But we know that diet Mountain Dew works
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because she easily became, what,
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probably 180 pounds of a roommate lighter after that.
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So diet Mountain Dew does work for one thing.
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That's true.
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I've got a story here, Kev, for you
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and the lovely listener.
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This comes from UPI by Ben Hooper,
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is the journalist on scene here.
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A very recent story.
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Mississippi police seek escaped emu
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for felony fleeing and disorderly conduct.
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So.
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Oh my goodness.
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They're seemingly charging an emu with human crimes.
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This happened February 12th.
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Like this just happened recently.
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Police in Mississippi are asking residents
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to be on the lookout for an unusual suspect
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wanted for felony fleeing and disorderly conduct, an emu.
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The Batesville.
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It's a fucking emu.
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It's a fucking emu.
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His name's Plathers and he's an asshole.
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Fuck off.
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The Batesville police department said the escaped emu
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was seen on highway six near the Hyundai dealership.
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Police shared a wanted poster.
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He's got a lot of his arms.
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Yeah.
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They shared a wanted poster for quote emu the great
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saying Australia's native bird is wanted
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for felony fleeing and disorderly conduct.
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Quote, please use all caution
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if you come into contact with the suspect.
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It's known to charge at anyone standing
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in the way of its freedom.
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Which hey, God bless you.
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God bless you there emu.
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The department cautioned anyone who spots the emu
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not to honk their car horns at it.
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Quote, she is scared
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and the owners have a team helping them get her back safe.
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If you spot her please notify us.
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We'll get in contact with the owner.
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How are we gonna charge a fucking emu with felony,
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fuck what was it?
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Felony misconduct or disorderly conduct and felony fleeing.
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Felony fleeing.
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How are you gonna charge a fucking animal with it?
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That's a wanted poster.
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Approximately five seven.
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That's a tall emu dog.
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But emu's a tall.
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It's taller than me.
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Emu's are tall birds.
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Oh I know they're like,
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I thought that was gonna be much taller than that.
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I know emu's are tall.
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Five seven seems a bit short to me.
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So yeah, they, I hope they found the bird.
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It's a preteen emu.
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He's going through things.
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That's why he's, he probably left home.
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He just wanted to rebel.
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Explore.
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Yeah.
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Fuck the system.
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As we all do.
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So you know what, now I can understand the felony fleeing.
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I'm kind of on the emu side in all this.
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I am too though.
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I am too.
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Go birds.
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Go birds.
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Emu the great, we're cheering for you.
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What happened Kev?
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00:25:30,880 --> 00:25:32,280
I accidentally backed out of my story.
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All right.
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ABC seven news, Tampa, Florida.
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Good, good.
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Lake City, Florida.
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A Florida woman is in jail after she allegedly
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shot her estranged husband in the testicles
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during an argument about an air conditioning unit.
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What?
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Kimberly Dunn's estranged husband and his brother
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came to her Lake City, Florida home last autumn
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to pick up an air conditioning unit
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that he wanted to sell on Facebook.
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She sat on the unit to prevent the men from taking it
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and allegedly attempted to fend off her husband
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with a stun gun before shooting him in the testicles
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with a pink handgun.
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Oh my God.
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Dunn allegedly told investigators
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that the shooting was unintentional
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and that she was only hoping to scare the men.
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Though the altercation happened in October of 2017,
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Dunn was arrested this week after failing to show up
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for a related court appearance.
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Dunn was booked into Columbia County Jail on June 14th
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on felony larceny and contempt of court charges.
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It's not immediately clear if the larceny charge
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was connected to the October incident.
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She's being held without bond.
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Wow.
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Wow, that's nuts.
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00:26:41,440 --> 00:26:42,280
Oh, there's a video.
360
00:26:42,280 --> 00:26:43,100
Oops.
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00:26:43,100 --> 00:26:44,800
Don't, don't, yeah, it's probably,
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00:26:44,800 --> 00:26:47,480
something's copyrighted in there, I'm sure.
363
00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:48,400
That's nuts.
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00:26:48,400 --> 00:26:50,240
This chick looks like she'd shoot you in the dick
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with a pink handgun.
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I can, God forbid someone take her AC though.
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00:26:54,320 --> 00:26:55,920
I mean, it's Florida. Oh, I know, it can't be.
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00:26:55,920 --> 00:26:57,760
You gotta understand the importance of AC.
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00:26:57,760 --> 00:26:59,800
Humid as fuck down there. Right.
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00:26:59,800 --> 00:27:01,920
I mean, I would expect someone to shoot my balls
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if I went for their air conditioning in Florida.
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Yeah. I think.
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00:27:08,120 --> 00:27:10,040
Now, I'm, here's a good tip though.
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00:27:10,040 --> 00:27:13,040
I'm resorting to violence if you take my AC,
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00:27:13,040 --> 00:27:14,740
especially in a state like Florida, so.
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00:27:14,740 --> 00:27:15,580
That's very true.
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00:27:15,580 --> 00:27:16,800
I'm not saying what she did was right, but.
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00:27:16,800 --> 00:27:18,120
No, we don't advocate for that.
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00:27:18,120 --> 00:27:18,960
No.
380
00:27:18,960 --> 00:27:21,120
See, the only weapons I'm bringing to that fight
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is these guns.
382
00:27:22,800 --> 00:27:23,640
Ah.
383
00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:24,960
Huh? Nice.
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00:27:24,960 --> 00:27:25,800
And guess what?
385
00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:26,620
What's that?
386
00:27:26,620 --> 00:27:27,680
This ammunition is also free too.
387
00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:28,520
That's true.
388
00:27:28,520 --> 00:27:30,000
It's unlimited. That's true.
389
00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:32,520
Knuckle sandwiches, no cost.
390
00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:33,960
Nope. You're welcome.
391
00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:36,600
And you get a good meal and a good nap.
392
00:27:36,600 --> 00:27:37,440
Exactly.
393
00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:41,860
You can do both simultaneously.
394
00:27:41,860 --> 00:27:43,320
Just call Kev.
395
00:27:43,320 --> 00:27:44,720
Yep. He's your man.
396
00:27:44,720 --> 00:27:46,720
His phone number is. Kev219.
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00:27:46,720 --> 00:27:51,440
219-6969-420.
398
00:27:51,440 --> 00:27:52,280
There you go.
399
00:27:52,280 --> 00:27:53,920
Bring, bring, call him up right now.
400
00:27:53,920 --> 00:27:58,920
Uh, from ABC 27 out of Tallahassee.
401
00:27:59,200 --> 00:28:03,680
Florida man braves floodwater on inflatable dock.
402
00:28:03,680 --> 00:28:07,160
This is, of course, it's a Tallahassee station,
403
00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:09,600
but they're reporting on this Tampa man,
404
00:28:09,600 --> 00:28:13,200
Tampa, Florida, as Hurricane Idalia.
405
00:28:13,200 --> 00:28:14,440
So this is a little bit ago.
406
00:28:14,440 --> 00:28:16,720
This is from 2023.
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00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:19,000
Hurricane Idalia made landfall in Florida.
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00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:21,000
Most people in the storm's path
409
00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:24,840
were following the advice of officials to hunker down
410
00:28:24,840 --> 00:28:29,840
or evacuate, but two men in Tampa ignored all their warnings,
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00:28:30,040 --> 00:28:33,080
instead indulging on their adventurous ride.
412
00:28:33,080 --> 00:28:36,200
Good for them. On said inflatable dock.
413
00:28:36,200 --> 00:28:40,440
The pair found a new way through the morning rush hour traffic
414
00:28:40,440 --> 00:28:44,440
on Bayshore Boulevard, paddling through the flooded roadway
415
00:28:44,440 --> 00:28:49,440
on a giant oversized inflatable dock.
416
00:28:49,440 --> 00:28:53,120
There was a video, but I fear copyright,
417
00:28:53,120 --> 00:28:54,200
so we're not gonna play it.
418
00:28:54,200 --> 00:28:56,000
Good for them. But the dock is big.
419
00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:57,400
It was a huge dock. I would assume,
420
00:28:57,400 --> 00:28:58,920
like if it's gonna hold two persons,
421
00:28:58,920 --> 00:29:01,280
two fully grown males.
422
00:29:01,280 --> 00:29:03,600
Yeah, two paddlers, man.
423
00:29:03,600 --> 00:29:04,680
Well, good for them.
424
00:29:04,680 --> 00:29:05,600
They beat rush hour.
425
00:29:05,600 --> 00:29:07,680
That's all I'm saying is I'm on their side.
426
00:29:07,680 --> 00:29:11,240
I don't see how this is an arrestable offense, though.
427
00:29:11,240 --> 00:29:12,880
It didn't say anything about the cops.
428
00:29:12,880 --> 00:29:13,720
Oh, okay, good.
429
00:29:13,720 --> 00:29:15,080
Yeah, I don't think they were arrested.
430
00:29:15,080 --> 00:29:16,120
I think they were just going.
431
00:29:16,120 --> 00:29:16,960
They shouldn't be.
432
00:29:16,960 --> 00:29:21,240
They shouldn't be going against government suggestions
433
00:29:21,240 --> 00:29:22,760
to hunker down or evacuate.
434
00:29:22,760 --> 00:29:23,680
Yeah, that's a suggestion.
435
00:29:23,680 --> 00:29:24,720
If they die, they die.
436
00:29:24,720 --> 00:29:25,560
That's true.
437
00:29:25,560 --> 00:29:28,920
They were warned on what to do and what not to do,
438
00:29:28,920 --> 00:29:32,320
and they said, I'm not a big fan of the government.
439
00:29:32,320 --> 00:29:34,720
No, I'm not a big fan.
440
00:29:34,720 --> 00:29:35,560
Okay, I'm done.
441
00:29:36,520 --> 00:29:39,200
American freedom is pretty limited,
442
00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:41,560
but we have the freedom to die in hurricanes
443
00:29:41,560 --> 00:29:42,880
on inflatable docks.
444
00:29:42,880 --> 00:29:45,320
And we have the freedom to serve our country
445
00:29:45,320 --> 00:29:47,080
before you can have a drop of alcohol.
446
00:29:47,080 --> 00:29:48,040
Exactly. Legally.
447
00:29:49,920 --> 00:29:50,760
Fuck me.
448
00:29:51,880 --> 00:29:53,000
Just to let you know that we're back,
449
00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:55,520
Aidan's cock just hit the fucking table.
450
00:29:55,520 --> 00:29:57,480
I didn't even mean to.
451
00:29:57,480 --> 00:29:59,800
Just happens whenever I'm by Kev.
452
00:30:00,960 --> 00:30:02,440
Well, whenever I'm by you.
453
00:30:03,800 --> 00:30:04,640
Nothing happens.
454
00:30:04,640 --> 00:30:05,840
Yeah, I know.
455
00:30:05,840 --> 00:30:06,920
I've noticed.
456
00:30:06,920 --> 00:30:08,200
Welcome back, Bernie Questions,
457
00:30:08,200 --> 00:30:10,120
where we go to everyone's second least favorite website.
458
00:30:10,120 --> 00:30:13,000
Reddit source questions people asked into the ether,
459
00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:15,520
awaiting, deserving, demanding an answer,
460
00:30:15,520 --> 00:30:17,320
and we may give them one.
461
00:30:17,320 --> 00:30:19,440
But who better to answer these questions than us,
462
00:30:19,440 --> 00:30:21,720
the two omnipotent beings of this universe?
463
00:30:21,720 --> 00:30:23,840
You're welcome, in advance.
464
00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:26,200
So, you know, yeah.
465
00:30:27,480 --> 00:30:28,800
I thought you were gonna finish that thought.
466
00:30:28,800 --> 00:30:29,640
I did. You had more to say.
467
00:30:29,640 --> 00:30:31,240
I did, no, no, it's finished.
468
00:30:31,240 --> 00:30:32,080
It's done.
469
00:30:32,080 --> 00:30:32,920
You know, you just gotta trail off a little bit.
470
00:30:32,920 --> 00:30:35,160
Signs sealed and delivered.
471
00:30:36,240 --> 00:30:39,240
When your signs are sealed and delivered, call Kev.
472
00:30:39,240 --> 00:30:40,760
He knows a thing or two about
473
00:30:40,760 --> 00:30:42,560
signing and sealing and delivering.
474
00:30:42,560 --> 00:30:47,040
And he's, he's, he loves packages.
475
00:30:47,040 --> 00:30:47,880
If you follow.
476
00:30:47,880 --> 00:30:50,080
I do, I do love a good.
477
00:30:50,080 --> 00:30:50,920
A big package.
478
00:30:50,920 --> 00:30:55,320
A good, big, big, big, big brown package.
479
00:30:55,320 --> 00:30:56,160
Don't we all?
480
00:30:56,160 --> 00:30:57,000
Question from.
481
00:30:57,000 --> 00:30:59,120
A very thick tape.
482
00:30:59,120 --> 00:31:00,560
A girthy, yeah.
483
00:31:00,560 --> 00:31:01,840
It has to be wrapped.
484
00:31:01,840 --> 00:31:02,680
It does.
485
00:31:02,680 --> 00:31:03,960
Yeah, properly.
486
00:31:03,960 --> 00:31:08,320
Question from user, I love you snow much.
487
00:31:08,320 --> 00:31:09,720
First of all, fuck snow.
488
00:31:09,720 --> 00:31:10,920
Thanks.
489
00:31:10,920 --> 00:31:11,760
You're welcome.
490
00:31:11,760 --> 00:31:12,600
I think.
491
00:31:12,600 --> 00:31:13,760
It was a compliment.
492
00:31:13,760 --> 00:31:17,840
You now have 100 of the last thing you Googled.
493
00:31:17,840 --> 00:31:19,120
What is it?
494
00:31:19,120 --> 00:31:20,440
Do you want it?
495
00:31:20,440 --> 00:31:22,440
If not, how do you get rid of it?
496
00:31:22,440 --> 00:31:24,480
Well, the last thing I Googled was,
497
00:31:25,520 --> 00:31:27,360
I could go in so many directions with this.
498
00:31:27,360 --> 00:31:29,440
My story was the last thing I Googled.
499
00:31:29,440 --> 00:31:31,720
Do I have 100 pink handguns?
500
00:31:31,720 --> 00:31:33,640
Do I have 100 testicles?
501
00:31:33,640 --> 00:31:37,320
I think you have 100 women sitting on your air conditioner.
502
00:31:37,320 --> 00:31:39,280
Just in case you try and get rid of it.
503
00:31:39,280 --> 00:31:40,280
Oh.
504
00:31:40,280 --> 00:31:41,120
Yeah.
505
00:31:41,120 --> 00:31:41,960
I don't want that.
506
00:31:41,960 --> 00:31:44,000
Well, how do you get rid of it then?
507
00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:45,360
I mean, I guess you could, they would.
508
00:31:45,360 --> 00:31:47,840
If you don't want it, you don't have to get rid of it.
509
00:31:47,840 --> 00:31:49,360
It said like, if you don't want it,
510
00:31:49,360 --> 00:31:50,360
how do you get rid of it?
511
00:31:50,360 --> 00:31:51,520
Oh.
512
00:31:51,520 --> 00:31:52,600
Well, I'm calling the police.
513
00:31:52,600 --> 00:31:53,840
Yeah, you trespass.
514
00:31:53,840 --> 00:31:55,560
Yeah, just trespass them all.
515
00:31:55,560 --> 00:31:56,400
Yep.
516
00:31:56,400 --> 00:31:58,120
The last thing I Googled was,
517
00:31:59,200 --> 00:32:02,040
how do I fix a broken GFCI?
518
00:32:02,040 --> 00:32:05,080
Because my garage is once again broken,
519
00:32:05,080 --> 00:32:08,960
because its entire circuit runs through a GFCI outlet
520
00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:11,000
that is outdoors.
521
00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:13,120
And it has stopped functioning.
522
00:32:13,120 --> 00:32:13,960
So.
523
00:32:13,960 --> 00:32:15,760
Again, what happened this time?
524
00:32:15,760 --> 00:32:16,600
I don't know.
525
00:32:16,600 --> 00:32:18,680
It's either shorted or too moist,
526
00:32:18,680 --> 00:32:20,400
or the GFCI just broke.
527
00:32:20,400 --> 00:32:21,240
Moist.
528
00:32:21,240 --> 00:32:22,440
Yeah, it must be nice.
529
00:32:22,440 --> 00:32:27,080
But I guess I would have 100 GFCI outlets,
530
00:32:27,080 --> 00:32:29,480
which I guess I could use one of them,
531
00:32:29,480 --> 00:32:30,840
and maybe I could just like sell.
532
00:32:30,840 --> 00:32:33,120
Potentially use 99 more of them.
533
00:32:33,120 --> 00:32:35,640
But what would I need 99 more of them for?
534
00:32:35,640 --> 00:32:37,440
It's better to have more than to have none at all.
535
00:32:37,440 --> 00:32:40,000
Would I GFCI every outlet in the house?
536
00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:41,000
I guess it'd be safe.
537
00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:41,840
Fuck it, yeah, why not?
538
00:32:41,840 --> 00:32:42,680
It'd be safer.
539
00:32:42,680 --> 00:32:43,880
Yeah, you gotta stay safe.
540
00:32:43,880 --> 00:32:46,480
So what, the other like 80 some odd,
541
00:32:46,480 --> 00:32:49,160
I guess I could just sell on eBay or something?
542
00:32:49,160 --> 00:32:50,920
I see this as a win-win.
543
00:32:50,920 --> 00:32:52,320
I see this as an absolute win.
544
00:32:52,320 --> 00:32:53,440
Absolutely.
545
00:32:53,440 --> 00:32:54,760
So I'll take them.
546
00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:58,600
I'll sell most of them, but I'll take the ones I'll use.
547
00:32:58,600 --> 00:32:59,440
You know what I'm saying?
548
00:32:59,440 --> 00:33:00,800
I will not take the 100 crazy women
549
00:33:00,800 --> 00:33:02,760
looking to shoot off my cock and balls.
550
00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:03,600
Yeah.
551
00:33:03,600 --> 00:33:06,000
After being threatened with a taser.
552
00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:06,840
Yeah.
553
00:33:06,840 --> 00:33:07,840
Right, yeah.
554
00:33:07,840 --> 00:33:12,840
Question from user Pinch, Pinch, Pinchillikessir.
555
00:33:15,680 --> 00:33:16,520
Come on, stop.
556
00:33:16,520 --> 00:33:20,000
Pinchillikessir, Pinch, Pin.
557
00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:21,240
Just read the damn question.
558
00:33:21,240 --> 00:33:26,240
Chill like a, Pinchill like a sir?
559
00:33:26,360 --> 00:33:29,040
What the, what's that say, Kev?
560
00:33:29,040 --> 00:33:31,360
Pinchillikessir.
561
00:33:31,360 --> 00:33:35,420
Oh wait, Pinch I like a sir?
562
00:33:35,420 --> 00:33:36,520
I don't know.
563
00:33:36,520 --> 00:33:38,560
I'm trying to read it phonetically.
564
00:33:38,560 --> 00:33:40,200
That was my mistake.
565
00:33:40,200 --> 00:33:42,600
Would you rather have all bread
566
00:33:42,600 --> 00:33:45,600
and its variants removed from existence
567
00:33:45,600 --> 00:33:48,600
or all potatoes and its variants removed from existence?
568
00:33:48,600 --> 00:33:49,440
Oh no, I'm sorry.
569
00:33:49,440 --> 00:33:52,320
This is a landslide easy question.
570
00:33:52,320 --> 00:33:54,040
I'm sorry, but get rid of bread.
571
00:33:54,040 --> 00:33:56,480
I cannot go a day without eating potato anything.
572
00:33:56,480 --> 00:34:00,000
If you lose bread, you lose tortillas,
573
00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:02,640
you lose pizza, you lose toast,
574
00:34:02,640 --> 00:34:06,280
you lose pancakes, you lose waffles.
575
00:34:06,280 --> 00:34:08,700
But if you lose potatoes, you lose mashed potatoes,
576
00:34:08,700 --> 00:34:10,840
fries, scalloped potatoes.
577
00:34:11,760 --> 00:34:14,960
Yeah, I mean, you're just encouraging my answer here.
578
00:34:14,960 --> 00:34:15,800
Bread must go.
579
00:34:15,800 --> 00:34:17,280
But I really, really like burritos.
580
00:34:17,280 --> 00:34:19,000
Are you an Irishman?
581
00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:20,120
Yes.
582
00:34:20,120 --> 00:34:21,360
So potatoes stay.
583
00:34:21,360 --> 00:34:22,440
Potatoes stay.
584
00:34:22,440 --> 00:34:23,280
Thank you.
585
00:34:23,280 --> 00:34:24,100
You've got me there.
586
00:34:24,100 --> 00:34:25,240
God damn it, you've got me there.
587
00:34:25,240 --> 00:34:27,440
We're just a bunch of potato chompin' fucks.
588
00:34:27,440 --> 00:34:28,640
And I love potatoes.
589
00:34:28,640 --> 00:34:29,720
And that's all we love eating.
590
00:34:29,720 --> 00:34:31,840
You can make dough out of potatoes.
591
00:34:31,840 --> 00:34:32,660
Yeah.
592
00:34:32,660 --> 00:34:33,960
It takes mashed potatoes, potato starch,
593
00:34:33,960 --> 00:34:37,040
you make it into a dough, and then you get,
594
00:34:37,040 --> 00:34:38,840
it's like, it's bready.
595
00:34:38,840 --> 00:34:40,000
Potato pancakes.
596
00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:41,480
I am bready to die.
597
00:34:43,200 --> 00:34:45,080
Potato pancakes are great though.
598
00:34:45,080 --> 00:34:45,920
They are good.
599
00:34:45,920 --> 00:34:46,840
Really call them latkes?
600
00:34:46,840 --> 00:34:47,680
Latkes, yep.
601
00:34:47,680 --> 00:34:48,820
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
602
00:34:48,820 --> 00:34:52,800
Question from user MrMuffinMan.
603
00:34:52,800 --> 00:34:53,640
Must be cool.
604
00:34:53,640 --> 00:34:55,840
Do you know the muffin man?
605
00:34:55,840 --> 00:35:00,840
Would you rather be able to slow time or speed time up?
606
00:35:01,560 --> 00:35:03,660
They give some specificities here.
607
00:35:03,660 --> 00:35:04,500
Oh.
608
00:35:04,500 --> 00:35:07,400
Slowing time means you'd be able to turn
609
00:35:07,400 --> 00:35:09,480
one minute into an hour.
610
00:35:09,480 --> 00:35:11,240
Or speeding time up, you'd be able to turn
611
00:35:11,240 --> 00:35:12,780
an hour into a minute.
612
00:35:12,780 --> 00:35:14,840
But you can only choose one.
613
00:35:14,840 --> 00:35:16,360
You know, I think I have to,
614
00:35:16,360 --> 00:35:21,120
just to reminisce in the glory days, if you will,
615
00:35:21,120 --> 00:35:22,520
of my childhood.
616
00:35:22,520 --> 00:35:23,360
Sure.
617
00:35:23,360 --> 00:35:25,400
Of coming home after school, not doing my homework,
618
00:35:25,400 --> 00:35:26,760
and just playing games with the boys.
619
00:35:26,760 --> 00:35:30,080
I think now as an adult, I know I have a lot more
620
00:35:30,080 --> 00:35:32,000
to focus on rather than video games
621
00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:34,080
because I need to live.
622
00:35:34,080 --> 00:35:36,800
I'm gonna slow time down so on my off days
623
00:35:36,800 --> 00:35:40,000
I can literally enjoy it as long as I fucking want
624
00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:43,440
to just sit there and be a fucking vegetable
625
00:35:43,440 --> 00:35:44,720
and play video games.
626
00:35:44,720 --> 00:35:46,840
If I gotta piss out, nope, there's my piss jar.
627
00:35:46,840 --> 00:35:50,120
I can just piss in that and just literally not leave my room.
628
00:35:50,120 --> 00:35:53,880
Every second of your time would,
629
00:35:53,880 --> 00:35:55,420
or no, every minute of your time
630
00:35:55,420 --> 00:35:57,720
would just be a second, right?
631
00:35:57,720 --> 00:35:59,160
So you could get up and go piss
632
00:35:59,160 --> 00:36:00,480
and by the time you're back,
633
00:36:00,480 --> 00:36:03,680
what your Call of Duty man's moving like an inch, right?
634
00:36:03,680 --> 00:36:04,520
That's true.
635
00:36:04,520 --> 00:36:07,840
You would also have like, you wouldn't be cheating right,
636
00:36:07,840 --> 00:36:09,960
but you'd be playing multiplayer games
637
00:36:09,960 --> 00:36:13,600
at one one hundredth of the speed of everyone else,
638
00:36:13,600 --> 00:36:16,000
which means you would never lose.
639
00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:18,520
Because your reaction time is a hundred times better
640
00:36:18,520 --> 00:36:19,960
than everybody.
641
00:36:19,960 --> 00:36:22,680
Well, and then once time resumes,
642
00:36:22,680 --> 00:36:25,080
I'd be the best player ever.
643
00:36:25,080 --> 00:36:26,760
You could get a million dollar contract.
644
00:36:26,760 --> 00:36:30,920
Literally as soon as the time goes back to its normal time,
645
00:36:30,920 --> 00:36:33,480
my phone starts blowing up of calls from Faze
646
00:36:33,480 --> 00:36:37,160
and some Los Angeles team or whatever.
647
00:36:37,160 --> 00:36:38,160
Moist eSports.
648
00:36:38,160 --> 00:36:40,440
Moist eSports.
649
00:36:40,440 --> 00:36:42,720
I am 100% in agreement.
650
00:36:42,720 --> 00:36:45,720
I think as neat as it would be
651
00:36:45,720 --> 00:36:49,040
to turn my eight hour workday into eight minutes,
652
00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:52,640
I think it has less application outside of that
653
00:36:52,640 --> 00:36:55,160
besides like speeding up waiting in line
654
00:36:55,160 --> 00:36:57,120
at the fucking DMV or some shit,
655
00:36:57,120 --> 00:36:59,120
which also blows cock.
656
00:36:59,120 --> 00:37:01,680
But slowing down time,
657
00:37:02,640 --> 00:37:06,240
unlike my days off or time after work or anything,
658
00:37:06,240 --> 00:37:08,840
I would be so productive
659
00:37:08,840 --> 00:37:11,880
and have so much time to enjoy life more
660
00:37:11,880 --> 00:37:14,800
that easily outweighs, easily.
661
00:37:14,800 --> 00:37:18,480
Speaking of like fast forwarding the line at the BMV,
662
00:37:18,480 --> 00:37:21,080
I started playing Borderlands 3 again recently
663
00:37:21,080 --> 00:37:24,800
and I'm doing this DLC where I'm at a casino
664
00:37:24,800 --> 00:37:28,080
that's in space that Handsome Jack built before he died.
665
00:37:28,080 --> 00:37:30,280
And it's literally just so funny.
666
00:37:30,280 --> 00:37:31,840
Reminds me so much of Borderlands 2,
667
00:37:31,840 --> 00:37:33,440
but there's a part of the mission
668
00:37:33,440 --> 00:37:36,120
where you have to get this chick's ship
669
00:37:36,120 --> 00:37:38,440
from the impound lot, which once again,
670
00:37:38,440 --> 00:37:39,880
I mean, there's slot machines everywhere.
671
00:37:39,880 --> 00:37:42,400
He just wants you to gamble, you're fucking running away.
672
00:37:42,400 --> 00:37:44,160
And like all these excess forms
673
00:37:44,160 --> 00:37:45,440
that you need to get down there,
674
00:37:45,440 --> 00:37:48,160
it's hilarious how the robots talk to one another.
675
00:37:48,160 --> 00:37:50,040
But when you're finally down there,
676
00:37:50,040 --> 00:37:53,880
you get a ticket for like number 7,768 or something.
677
00:37:53,880 --> 00:37:56,240
It's like next person, next customer.
678
00:37:56,240 --> 00:38:00,280
It's like now serving 1,400 and your number 7,000.
679
00:38:00,280 --> 00:38:01,320
There's really no one in there
680
00:38:01,320 --> 00:38:03,520
because the casino's abandoned.
681
00:38:03,520 --> 00:38:05,320
And it's like, oh, take the ticket off of that guy.
682
00:38:05,320 --> 00:38:07,120
And he was faking dead so he had to kill him
683
00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:09,280
and took his number, which was the next one.
684
00:38:09,280 --> 00:38:10,800
But I just found that so fucking funny
685
00:38:10,800 --> 00:38:13,880
how there's literally 6,000 numbers in between you
686
00:38:13,880 --> 00:38:15,840
and the fucking next person.
687
00:38:15,840 --> 00:38:18,560
I wonder if there's, they probably didn't program it,
688
00:38:18,560 --> 00:38:20,160
but it would have been funny
689
00:38:20,160 --> 00:38:22,120
if you let the game run in the background
690
00:38:22,120 --> 00:38:23,400
for like a couple weeks,
691
00:38:23,400 --> 00:38:26,920
it'll eventually get to now serving 7,000 some odd.
692
00:38:26,920 --> 00:38:27,880
That would be hilarious.
693
00:38:27,880 --> 00:38:30,520
Get like an achievement for it or something.
694
00:38:30,520 --> 00:38:35,040
Question from user JJFire2021.
695
00:38:35,040 --> 00:38:39,720
Would you rather make $300,000 a year passive income?
696
00:38:39,720 --> 00:38:41,040
You don't have to do anything.
697
00:38:41,040 --> 00:38:46,040
Or $700,000 a year running a business 40 hours a week?
698
00:38:47,080 --> 00:38:49,800
I'm taking the 300K passive
699
00:38:49,800 --> 00:38:53,440
because my free time is,
700
00:38:53,440 --> 00:38:57,200
if I'm making 300 grand a year,
701
00:38:57,200 --> 00:39:00,240
my free time is worth more than the extra 400 grand
702
00:39:00,240 --> 00:39:01,960
I'd make working 40 hours a week.
703
00:39:01,960 --> 00:39:04,080
That extra 40 hours.
704
00:39:04,080 --> 00:39:06,800
Well, do you also get money on the 40 hour work week
705
00:39:06,800 --> 00:39:08,640
on top of the 700 grand you're making?
706
00:39:08,640 --> 00:39:10,200
No, the 700 grand is your salary.
707
00:39:10,200 --> 00:39:14,480
Are there specificity, say again?
708
00:39:14,480 --> 00:39:16,320
What the fuck was that word that you just said?
709
00:39:16,320 --> 00:39:17,320
Specificity.
710
00:39:17,320 --> 00:39:19,040
Specific, is that what it is?
711
00:39:19,040 --> 00:39:19,880
I believe so.
712
00:39:19,880 --> 00:39:20,720
Spit.
713
00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:23,400
Fuck it, just give me the 300 grand.
714
00:39:23,400 --> 00:39:24,400
300 grand passive.
715
00:39:24,400 --> 00:39:25,800
Fuck that, my head hurts now.
716
00:39:25,800 --> 00:39:26,640
The.
717
00:39:26,640 --> 00:39:27,480
The.
718
00:39:30,200 --> 00:39:31,040
The 100.
719
00:39:31,040 --> 00:39:31,880
See, now your head hurts.
720
00:39:31,880 --> 00:39:34,240
The 160 hours a month,
721
00:39:34,240 --> 00:39:37,080
I would get back by just having
722
00:39:37,080 --> 00:39:39,080
this wonderful passive income.
723
00:39:39,080 --> 00:39:42,160
Dude, the extra 400K is not worth that.
724
00:39:42,160 --> 00:39:44,160
Fuck you, I'm taking the 300K,
725
00:39:44,160 --> 00:39:47,480
I'm living comfortably, and I'm living to my fullest.
726
00:39:47,480 --> 00:39:49,560
And I want that income.
727
00:39:49,560 --> 00:39:53,440
$300,000 worth of cum every year, please.
728
00:39:54,640 --> 00:39:56,080
A man's gotta eat.
729
00:39:57,960 --> 00:40:02,960
The final question from user HolidayHealth658.
730
00:40:03,720 --> 00:40:07,680
One billion dollars, if you could eat
731
00:40:07,680 --> 00:40:12,680
15,000 calories in a day, what's your strategy?
732
00:40:13,800 --> 00:40:15,840
McDonald's breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
733
00:40:15,840 --> 00:40:20,280
Well, here's, okay, hear me out.
734
00:40:20,280 --> 00:40:25,160
If you eat, I think it's like pure uranium metal
735
00:40:25,160 --> 00:40:27,520
or something like that, or like plutonium.
736
00:40:27,520 --> 00:40:28,360
What the fuck am I eating?
737
00:40:28,360 --> 00:40:31,720
It's some kind of metal where like a little orb of it
738
00:40:31,720 --> 00:40:35,520
has the equivalent of like two million calories.
739
00:40:35,520 --> 00:40:36,680
And it, your body doesn't.
740
00:40:36,680 --> 00:40:37,520
I die.
741
00:40:37,520 --> 00:40:40,720
Well, if it's radioactive maybe.
742
00:40:40,720 --> 00:40:42,520
But if you find like, I don't know,
743
00:40:42,520 --> 00:40:45,640
little pellets of palladium or some shit,
744
00:40:45,640 --> 00:40:48,440
then each pellet would be worth, you know,
745
00:40:48,440 --> 00:40:51,880
however many thousands of calories.
746
00:40:51,880 --> 00:40:53,280
And you could just swallow those down
747
00:40:53,280 --> 00:40:55,320
technically eating them.
748
00:40:55,320 --> 00:40:58,400
It doesn't say you have to digest 15,000 calories.
749
00:40:58,400 --> 00:41:02,040
But if I eat those, my body's not gonna digest it.
750
00:41:02,040 --> 00:41:04,440
It's gonna be like, well, this is metal, pass it along.
751
00:41:04,440 --> 00:41:06,320
I'll just shit them out.
752
00:41:06,320 --> 00:41:09,360
But then I pass the challenge, I get a billion dollars.
753
00:41:09,360 --> 00:41:11,880
I'm thinking in four dimensions, bro.
754
00:41:11,880 --> 00:41:16,880
If you can find two of those little calorie chock full balls,
755
00:41:17,200 --> 00:41:18,040
just give me one of them.
756
00:41:18,040 --> 00:41:19,240
Chock full balls.
757
00:41:19,240 --> 00:41:21,680
Chock full balls of calories, just give me one.
758
00:41:21,680 --> 00:41:22,520
I want a-
759
00:41:22,520 --> 00:41:23,360
I'll down it too.
760
00:41:23,360 --> 00:41:26,280
I want a new candy called like chock full balls.
761
00:41:26,280 --> 00:41:29,800
And they're literally made to look like a scrotum.
762
00:41:29,800 --> 00:41:31,760
It's just like pure milk chocolate.
763
00:41:31,760 --> 00:41:33,160
They got the lines and everything.
764
00:41:33,160 --> 00:41:34,000
Hell yeah.
765
00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:35,680
It looks like a little brain.
766
00:41:35,680 --> 00:41:38,520
They took the dick vein off Snickers riot.
767
00:41:38,520 --> 00:41:39,360
Did they really?
768
00:41:39,360 --> 00:41:41,080
No, but there's memes about it.
769
00:41:41,080 --> 00:41:41,920
So I thought it'd be funny.
770
00:41:41,920 --> 00:41:43,920
Yeah, because I'm not myself until I have a Snickers.
771
00:41:43,920 --> 00:41:45,280
You have to eat it and dig the vein out.
772
00:41:45,280 --> 00:41:46,200
Yes.
773
00:41:46,200 --> 00:41:48,280
Yeah, you have to feel it on the tongue for sure.
774
00:41:48,280 --> 00:41:49,120
It makes the experience better.
775
00:41:49,120 --> 00:41:50,200
All 9,000 taste buds.
776
00:41:50,200 --> 00:41:53,120
The vanilla, that cream.
777
00:41:54,400 --> 00:41:55,240
That's a dick.
778
00:41:57,400 --> 00:41:58,240
Get it?
779
00:41:58,240 --> 00:41:59,080
You see what I did there?
780
00:41:59,080 --> 00:42:00,080
It would be more topical with the bit we just did
781
00:42:00,080 --> 00:42:00,920
before that.
782
00:42:00,920 --> 00:42:01,760
Yeah.
783
00:42:01,760 --> 00:42:02,600
Yeah.
784
00:42:02,600 --> 00:42:04,520
Anywho, thanks for being here with us.
785
00:42:04,520 --> 00:42:08,040
Kevin Bolland, you're also here.
786
00:42:08,040 --> 00:42:08,880
I am.
787
00:42:08,880 --> 00:42:12,480
I don't want to be, so I think I'm going to no longer
788
00:42:12,480 --> 00:42:16,640
want to be here because that means I'm leaving.
789
00:42:16,640 --> 00:42:17,480
Wait.
790
00:42:17,480 --> 00:42:18,320
Any second now.
791
00:42:19,240 --> 00:42:20,080
I will be leaving.
792
00:42:20,080 --> 00:42:22,560
Should I have just started a fade out earlier?
793
00:42:22,560 --> 00:42:23,400
No, I mean.
794
00:42:23,400 --> 00:42:24,520
And this bit is just continuing.
795
00:42:24,520 --> 00:42:25,800
You can do what you want.
796
00:42:25,800 --> 00:42:27,480
As the audio gets quieter.
797
00:42:27,480 --> 00:42:29,720
But I think I'm joining you in this one bit.
798
00:42:29,720 --> 00:42:31,720
I think I'm starting to get a little tired.
799
00:42:31,720 --> 00:42:36,720
I think I'm starting to get a little tired.