WEBVTT
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00:00:03.600Hello, my name's Philip Waller.
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00:00:08.320My name is Penelope Waller, and we are two of the directors at 4D Human Being.
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00:00:10.880And welcome to the 4D Human Being podcast.
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00:00:12.080What's it all about, Pen?
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00:00:26.480It's all about your personal and professional relationships, it's about your communication skills, how you lead, how you work and build teams, how you are looking after yourself and your well-being, and how you are much more at choice.
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00:00:27.679What do we mean by that?
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00:00:34.799Well, sometimes we can get a little caught in patents in life, and we can all be a little bit on our automatic pilot.
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00:00:45.200So 40 human being is all about helping us get back to choice and being a four-dimensional human being, and your fourth dimension, of course, is intention.
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00:00:55.840So whether it's about your impact, your leadership style, your team dynamics, whether it's about your well-being, whether it's about your communication or your presentation skills.
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00:01:03.119Anything that involves human beings interacting with other human beings, 4D Human Being are here to help.
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00:01:19.760We're gonna take a deep dive and look at some tools, insights, theories that are gonna help you go from a 3D human doing to a 4D human being so that you can happen to the world rather than the world simply happening to you.
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00:01:25.040Good morning.
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00:01:29.280That was a technical sweating.
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00:01:33.120How relevant to what we're about to talk about.
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00:01:38.640I mean, we could literally just thread that last 15 minutes into the whole podcast.
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00:01:42.079So hello, welcome to our Leading Through Change series.
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00:01:42.799Yes.
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00:01:45.040And there's a change in the air, Phil.
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00:01:47.840Super Segway.
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00:02:00.319I mean that where we are, there's a change in the air.
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00:02:05.760We've had to open the door of my office because I'm so in the habit of putting the heater on before I come in here.
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00:02:06.159Yeah.
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00:02:09.759I've had it on for an hour this morning and it's now like a sauna in here.
00:02:09.840 -->
00:02:11.680I mean, it looks like a sauna and it feels like a sauna.
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00:02:13.599We're not clothed for a sauna, huh?
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00:02:16.080Well, luckily I've got my t-shirt on, Phil.
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00:02:17.280Trust the universe.
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00:02:19.199I'm not sure you were fully embodying that.
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00:02:20.159No, I wears the.
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00:02:21.360Although you were very calm, probably.
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00:02:23.599When the tech stuff was you were very calm.
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00:02:29.759So this episode, so I'm gonna do a quick callback to the previous episode.
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00:02:35.919So our first episode of Leading Through Change was about resilience and the importance of resilience, what that actually means.
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00:02:38.400If you haven't listened to that, do go back and listen to that.
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00:02:40.800I like to think of bamboo kind of swaying.
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00:02:42.719Yes, it's the tree, it's the flex.
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00:02:54.000It's resilience, as you said in the episode, is so often you know, these words like authenticity, resilience that we we use so much start to get so stretched that we stop knowing what they really mean.
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00:02:56.080So really useful to go back to that.
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00:03:14.960This episode is around edge behaviours, what happens when we're faced with uncertainty or change, how we can recognize our mindset and our behaviours in those moments, and how we can get over the edge and step into change with a very different mindset, and of course, lead others through that.
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00:03:23.599And then the final episode in two weeks' time will be around adaptability, the improvisation mindset and actions.
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00:03:25.199Like what can we actually do?
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00:03:25.599Yes.
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00:03:34.639So today we're going to look at what are edge behaviours, can we recognise the triggers when we're at the edge?
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00:03:36.639How do we get over the edge?
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00:03:44.080A quick revisit of the internal piece, looking at blaming the outside system versus getting ourselves stable.
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00:03:47.439When the outside system's not stable through change, can we get ourselves stable?
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00:03:48.400That's the fourth piece.
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00:03:59.360And then the fifth piece, which really bridges from that, is the possibility mindset and how we can switch, we love, and how often we don't even realise we've gone the other way.
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00:04:01.439Do you know what I about that last one, Phil?
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00:04:10.159Is I think sometimes we can we can think, oh, you know, sort of I've sort of got to be happy and I've got to think things are amazing, even when they don't feel like that.
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00:04:20.800And yes, we don't want to push too far into that, but you know what I really know through this work, because I've lived it, is how you're shaping your experience of life by how you frame things.
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00:04:28.079Oh, and I mean, you know, and I go back to the fra one of the phrases I love, you know, I think this is a Michelle Obama as well, you know, every day you practice who you become.
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00:04:33.439It's definitely not, we'll get to that when we get there, but it's definitely not about the mask sort of pop the grin, you know.
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00:04:44.079Everything's foiled! I think Matt, our fabulous colleague, men said something like the permanent grin where it's not it's really it's paper thin.
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00:04:45.199The paper thin grin.
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00:04:45.759There we go.
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00:04:51.279So let's go through it because I already want to jump to the end and the possibility mindset, because that's the really fun bit, isn't it?
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00:04:52.240I do like edge though.
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00:04:56.959I tell you what, when I first got introduced to the edge model, I'm just watching your dog in my beautiful flower bed.
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00:04:58.800Watch my hellebores, Humphrey.
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00:05:04.000Um I'm not when you say watch them Humphrey and the hellebores.
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00:05:05.600Humphrey and the hellabores, there's a children.
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00:05:17.839When I first learnt about this model, it was quite revelatory, as so many of these models are, because of course before that I didn't really have a concept and a language to refer to when thinking about when thinking about change.
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00:05:22.480It was just a a thing that you go through multiple times in organisations.
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00:05:29.439And as soon as I I saw this model, A, I started recognising, oh, oh, I see what's happening here.
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00:05:38.879But the second thing was, Phil, which I know you'll get on to, is how surprising some of the behaviours are that you would not think were about resistance to change.
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00:05:39.279Yeah.
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00:05:41.279Well, we're so we're so normalized, isn't it?
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00:05:41.519Yeah.
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00:05:50.079It's again, it's the water in the goldfish bowl, we stop seeing it, and we all do it, and and then we get, well, that's just that's just me.
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00:05:51.839I mean, how many times have I heard that recently?
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00:05:54.000You know, and then we get into the whole authenticity thing.
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00:05:55.519Anyway, another big topic.
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00:05:57.680So, what are edge behaviors?
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00:06:08.560Well, edge behaviours are what shows up as we're discussing here, maybe sometimes, often, unconscious, always?
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00:06:11.759Always we don't often say always.
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00:06:14.800So when you feel edgy.
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00:06:22.879When you feel edgy, so you know, someone comes in with right, you know, we've got we've got a transformation initiative, we're gonna turn this all around.
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00:06:37.920It means completely changing how you communicate to your customers, or or or even if you've got, you know, you're in a you're in education, I had this, and they go, We're changing, we're changing the the the the portal that you upload your essays to.
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00:06:42.720And you're like, oh it's no, you know, what are edge behaviours?
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00:07:01.279And of course, where we can go in that is immediately what I one of the pieces I absolutely love about this is our wonderful prefrontal cortex that just does the most instant brilliant job at justifying why this is a terrible idea and why this won't work.
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00:07:19.839Yeah, and you can think of it because of course the edge model or edge behaviours are very often depicted in terms of a pyramid or a triangle, and the current reality is on one side of it, and the the new yet as yet unseen is on the other side of the pyramid.
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00:07:26.399Because you're on one side of the pyramid and you're looking at the pyramid and you look up and it just feels overwhelming.
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00:07:28.800Well, it's a And you're like, yeah, I think I'll just stay here.
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00:07:36.879Well, exactly, exactly, because it to follow through on your brilliant metaphor there and imagine, and it is exactly it is the model, you know, we love a pyramid.
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00:07:52.800If you imagine, if you if if we bring that pyramid to life and turn it into a mountain, you're at the bottom of it, firstly looking up at the enormous climb ahead, secondly, imagining reaching the precipice and having to go off the other side into what?
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00:07:53.360What?
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00:07:53.839Yes.
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00:08:07.680So if we think about our sort of primal brain here, where I love these thoughts we've had this before, when you imagine when humans, you know, or animals evolve, you're in the you're in you're in your sort of furs or your loins and.
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00:08:10.959And you literally don't know what's 500 yards.
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00:08:13.120You'll be like You'll be like Stan McCain.
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00:08:19.759I think I've standing I'm literally, I I I actually don't know if the if the world is flat and I'm going to fall off the end of it.
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00:08:21.199It really does make me think, Phil.
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00:08:27.839I mean, I do often think about this because one of my daughters is studying nutrition at the moment, and it was so and they were talking about the history of food.
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00:08:28.240Yeah.
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00:08:38.000And the first, the first one, sort of prehistoric, was um not prehistoric, but you know, when we when we were first around as humans, it was like try and try try and fail.
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00:08:38.240Yeah.
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00:08:39.200Tried and tested.
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00:08:41.360It was like trial, trial and error, that's what I was going to do.
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00:08:42.559And trial and error had high screen.
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00:08:50.879So it really makes me think we have to really thank the people who looked at those mountains and were like, I'm gonna have a crack.
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00:08:54.799I'm having a crack and a cause still being crazy.
00:08:55.440 -->
00:08:58.799But this is like this is like Malcolm Gladwell's outliers, isn't it?
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00:09:03.600It's the ants around the edge of the of the central column that are going, I wonder what's happening.
00:09:03.679 -->
00:09:05.200And you're like, Good luck, Bob.
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00:09:12.000But at the Bob might find out Bob might find out a loaf of bread discarded, and you're like, go, go, Bob.
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00:09:13.759But equally, Bob could get squashed.
00:09:13.919 -->
00:09:17.200So, you know, we have we the pioneers plan the pioneers.
00:09:17.519 -->
00:09:22.080So, anyway, so we're not necessarily saying everyone needs to be pioneers and charge up the mountain.
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00:09:23.440Although we can find our way.
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00:09:24.159Yes, exactly.
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00:09:24.639We find a way.
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00:09:25.519It might be Slara.
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00:09:27.360Yeah, and we and it's exactly what we're gonna do.
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00:09:28.559We're gonna help you find a route.
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00:09:42.639Before we go on through it, I just want to mention, and I know leaders out there in organisations, you'll know this, but that analogy is a really good way to think about even some of the smallest changes that you're trying to encourage your team or your organization through.
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00:09:49.919And yes, I you know, I understand there's often a need for speed, and you know, that things need to happen, actions need to happen.
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00:10:06.000I guess just kind of pulling back and recognising that even if for you it doesn't feel particularly overwhelming or scary, just sort of just sort of just sort of recognise that there's quite a lot of people that will be looking at this hill and just yeah, completely overwhelmed and completely not able to visualize what's on the other side.
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00:10:10.399Yeah, and so we're gonna get to how you would exactly how you would how you manage that as a leader.
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00:10:12.159A bit like me going to the gym, Phil.
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00:10:14.720We're gonna use that as an example.
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00:10:16.720That's number three, getting over the edge, Ben.
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00:10:18.320And I played a big part in that.
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00:10:21.679Well, actually, it's not just making friends, it's Mark as well at the gym.
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00:10:22.799Okay, let's get there.
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00:10:25.120So so so edge behaviours.
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00:10:30.320So, so really notice when you are at edge, and this can be all kinds of things.
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00:10:39.840You'll probably uh procrastination is a is a huge one, overcontrolling, um, shutting down, blocking, snapping, catastrophizing.
00:10:39.919 -->
00:10:43.120There's so many, so many things that we do.
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00:10:47.600The important thing to say is two things to reframe edge behaviour.
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00:11:03.440So, so uh to reiterate, edge behaviour will be almost like the the waters are still, something happens, and suddenly your boat is at least bobbing a little bit, if not completely rocking, and that's how it feels.
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00:11:16.320Yeah, and the strategies will tend to be around, exactly as you said, just you're you're you're not quite sure yet whether there has to be any movement forward or whether you can stay where you are, you're also trying to manage your own anxiety.
00:11:16.559 -->
00:11:16.799Exactly.
00:11:16.960 -->
00:11:18.799You might also be trying to manage anxiety of other people.
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00:11:19.440Exactly.
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00:11:25.840So it very often comes through quite defensive behaviours, exactly as you said, asking lots of questions or procrastinating or shutting down.
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00:11:29.440It can also come through some really surprising behaviours.
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00:11:43.840Like if I think about sometimes working in in groups and teams, things like humour or sarcasm or uh creating little sort of clans, undermining, gossiping, that there's lots of things.
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00:11:48.159Yeah, tribal behaviours, exactly, siloing that those people over there are gung-ho.
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00:11:53.120Over here, we're right, they're wrong, we we should stick to the same path that we're on.
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00:11:53.679Absolutely.
00:11:53.759 -->
00:12:02.720So it's really becoming super aware that if any, like you say, any kind of change, I mean, literally, we're changing the brand of coffee with you.
00:12:02.799 -->
00:12:09.759I mean, it honestly doesn't matter the size of it because what's weird about it, it's like trauma, it's not really the thing, it's the button that's the button that gets pushed.
00:12:10.080 -->
00:12:42.399So if you've got a lot of change going on, and then someone says, Oh, we've changed the biscuit variety, and you go, I wasn't in I was not included in that, that's you that's edge behaviour that's that's a that's probably overwhelmed from the amount of change because that's a whole other piece there, but of course, you can actually do a change assessment, and you find that you're shouting about the biscuits when you when you start to look at tick the boxes of well, I've I'm moving house, I'm my ch my child's going to a new school, um, we've lost half the team.
00:12:42.480 -->
00:12:45.519When you start to add it all up, you're in overwhelm.
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00:12:47.360The biscuits, there wasn't any room left.
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00:13:09.600Yeah, so I I certainly remember, I mean, well, I've I've been through a number of change initiatives in corporate, and I remember being with a really fun, fun team at one point, and we yeah, we were sort of going through this very very very challenging change, and of course, we used sort of tribal humour to a very sort of extreme degree.
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00:13:21.279Yeah, and of course, you know, it helped us keep our spirits up because you know we found humour in in the situation, and of course, looking back, I can see how that was resisting the challenge.
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00:13:30.960Yeah, it's exactly with it and and what's really useful about that, Penn, is is from all of this, and again, we'll get there, is really pulling apart what's useful here and what's not.
00:13:31.039 -->
00:13:34.960Because actually, humour can be really useful, but is it inclusive or is it divisive?
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00:13:40.240So we're also connecting with other people, you know, we can do that in a sort of gossipy and negative way.
00:13:40.399 -->
00:13:40.720Exactly.
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00:13:43.120Which is still an edge behaviour, but we can find the positive.
00:13:44.240 -->
00:13:47.200So, two things I want to say, because we're gonna get more into the detail.
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00:13:50.080Two things to say on what is it, what is edge behaviour.
00:13:50.320 -->
00:13:56.320It can be absolutely anything that is taking you away from stepping forward and moving forward together.
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00:13:58.240This is the way to think about it.
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00:14:00.399It's just data.
00:14:00.799 -->
00:14:08.799So rather than judging yourself that oh, I'm terrible, I should be more like this, or they should be more like this, is it's information.
00:14:08.960 -->
00:14:14.879If you've got people stonewalling, or you've got people defensive or blocking, it's information.
00:14:15.360 -->
00:14:17.279Use it as information, not as a judgment.
00:14:17.519 -->
00:14:18.240It's self-awareness.
00:14:18.320 -->
00:14:18.960I mean, it's great.
00:14:19.120 -->
00:14:19.360Exactly.
00:14:19.440 -->
00:14:20.799It's got oh, something's happening here.
00:14:20.879 -->
00:14:25.679So the system is giving you information that this is tough, at least for some people.
00:14:26.000 -->
00:14:29.200And the second thing is this is a really nice reframe.
00:14:30.240 -->
00:14:40.399The only thing edge behaviour needs to be, it doesn't need to be failure, but the only thing it needs to be framed as is the moment before choice.
00:14:40.960 -->
00:14:48.159And and I think it's a bit like the Tibetan monks using the idea of the mobile phone going off or the doorbell ringing during your meditation.
00:14:48.399 -->
00:14:56.320You can see that as an irritation, or you can see it as a wake-up to become more conscious of what's actually happening, yeah, rather than it's a problem.
00:14:56.559 -->
00:14:59.759Ah, I'm waking up to my irritation here.
00:15:00.000 -->
00:15:01.279Let me let me go back.
00:15:01.440 -->
00:15:05.440So use edge behaviour as ah, we're it we're in change here.
00:15:05.759 -->
00:15:06.879This is this is information.
00:15:07.200 -->
00:15:13.279And and it you'll all be different, so yeah, be aware that your own edge behaviour will be different to other people's edge behaviour.
00:15:13.519 -->
00:15:18.320So sometimes it's quite difficult for us to identify in ourselves and certainly to identify in other people.
00:15:18.480 -->
00:15:18.720Yeah.
00:15:18.879 -->
00:15:22.639So we've kind of merged the second piece of this, which is recognising those triggers.
00:15:22.799 -->
00:15:38.320So there's definitely something here around both for yourself and as a leader is giving some space to ask what's happening here before we even get to what we need to do and the change we need to step into is all let's take a moment.
00:15:38.480 -->
00:15:45.759I'm noticing that we're in a bit of sort of conflict here, or there's some difficult feelings in the room.
00:15:46.000 -->
00:15:48.000Let's really look at what's going on here.
00:15:48.080 -->
00:15:55.440And and really important as a leader, I would offer as human beings, is that we go to the secondary level.
00:15:55.679 -->
00:16:08.799That when we're thinking about you know problems to solve or edge behaviour through change, that we don't stop at oh Bob's blaming Jill and they're gossiping over there.
00:16:08.960 -->
00:16:10.799But go to the secondary.
00:16:11.039 -->
00:16:11.840What's happening?
00:16:12.080 -->
00:16:12.879What's actually happening?
00:16:13.039 -->
00:16:16.159Because those, like you say, those edge behaviors are all gonna look different.
00:16:16.320 -->
00:16:26.399We've got some people who are turning up late, and some people who are turning up early, and yeah, so to make sure they get their voices heard more and not giving chart, and these are very different behaviours.
00:16:26.720 -->
00:16:40.080I had a kind of similar conversation uh with a client yesterday who uh they've had a lot of disruption in a manufacturing industry in a plant and lots of stress and pressure.
00:16:40.559 -->
00:16:47.600And of course, where we go to is that over-controlling, over information must have more, more, more, more information.
00:16:47.759 -->
00:16:47.919Yeah.
00:16:48.320 -->
00:16:57.039And I I just asked her, I said, do you think it really is that intellectual prefrontal cortex that needs serving, or is it the emotional dimension?
00:16:57.200 -->
00:17:09.200And what you're saying about going to that second level, which I think sometimes we can we can neglect to do as leaders because we're busy and we stay in that sort of intellectual, let me give you some more information about the change, and let me explain why I'm right.
00:17:09.279 -->
00:17:11.599Yes, does anybody not understand something that's happening in the change?
00:17:11.759 -->
00:17:14.799And we'll stay there, and we don't often go to that second level.
00:17:14.960 -->
00:17:18.160Is can we talk about what's happening in this room now and how everyone's feeling?
00:17:18.319 -->
00:17:24.000And it can feel really hard to do that as a leader, but you're that's the thing that needs serving, and we just keep throwing data at it.
00:17:24.880 -->
00:17:36.160You are so right, and we talk about this in the therapy room while we obviously we have our stories and we have our narrative and we have the things that have happened in our lives or that are happening.
00:17:36.960 -->
00:17:42.480That is kind of the material to understand what's happening underneath, and you're absolutely right.
00:17:42.640 -->
00:17:46.000We can end up staying in that, and that narrative just keeps adding.
00:17:46.240 -->
00:17:47.359You'll never have enough information.
00:17:48.880 -->
00:17:53.599Because it's all it because there'll be another moment in the kitchen tomorrow that was annoying.
00:17:53.680 -->
00:17:54.480There'll always be more.
00:17:54.640 -->
00:17:56.000And I'll still be gossiping with Bob by the way.
00:17:57.599 -->
00:17:59.039That will never start exactly.
00:17:59.279 -->
00:18:05.920So, recognizing the triggers, recognise that these are often unconscious choices, they've been survival strategies that we've grown up with.
00:18:06.079 -->
00:18:08.480You're key as an individual or a leader.
00:18:08.799 -->
00:18:11.279Get curious, not critical.
00:18:12.000 -->
00:18:13.119She loves an alliteration.
00:18:14.160 -->
00:18:24.319Because obviously, as the leader, it's so easy, isn't it, to look at your system and go, well, if Bob, Dave, Sandra, and Jill didn't weren't doing this, we'd all be fine.
00:18:24.480 -->
00:18:28.160Well, I'm gonna double-and you had you add your own siloing.
00:18:28.400 -->
00:18:35.519Well, I'm gonna double down on that, which is the leader themselves might actually be quite critical of the change initiative.
00:18:35.680 -->
00:18:39.519Well So you've just got it, you've just got it flowing right down the organisation.
00:18:39.759 -->
00:18:42.960Let me triple down on my alliteration.
00:18:43.359 -->
00:18:46.559Get curious, not critical, because it's contagious.
00:18:46.880 -->
00:18:47.519Come on.
00:18:48.559 -->
00:18:50.960Laura, there's got to be some kind of music.
00:18:51.119 -->
00:18:57.680Jingle jingle for I don't think such a jingle exists for like a a double alliteration and then a triple.
00:18:58.079 -->
00:18:59.920If we get the quadruple, I don't even know what happened.
00:19:00.000 -->
00:19:01.839Maybe the podcast explodes.
00:19:02.720 -->
00:19:04.240It's triple alliteration.
00:19:05.200 -->
00:19:07.920Bill and pick for the human beings.
00:19:08.480 -->
00:19:12.000So get curious, not critical because it's interactive.
00:19:12.400 -->
00:19:14.079I'm just gonna keep I'm gonna keep saying that.
00:19:14.160 -->
00:19:14.960I'm just keep saying that.
00:19:15.039 -->
00:19:15.599I'll keep saying that.
00:19:15.759 -->
00:19:16.880I'm gonna put that on a pose.
00:19:17.039 -->
00:19:18.319I love nothing more than alliteration.
00:19:18.640 -->
00:19:19.039But you know what?
00:19:19.200 -->
00:19:23.039There's one thing I love more than alliteration, is an alliteration that's just happened in the moment.
00:19:23.200 -->
00:19:28.400I mean it's like, it's like the it's like I'm my body is absolutely filled with joy at the moment.
00:19:29.599 -->
00:19:34.480So, here's two it's a small thing, it's a small thing, thank god.
00:19:34.960 -->
00:19:37.440It always should be, because it's much easier, isn't it?
00:19:37.599 -->
00:19:40.559So we're gonna we're gonna do a podcast of the joy series that way.
00:19:40.720 -->
00:19:50.720Okay, so the end of this section is leader or member of team or family or friends, name the pull.
00:19:51.119 -->
00:19:54.079Name the negative pull, name it, put it in the room.
00:19:54.240 -->
00:20:01.200What that what edge what triggers love, nothing more, is to stay in the dark and be working under the surface like the feet under us.
00:20:01.680 -->
00:20:04.240And when you say what's going on here, and Bob folds us up, nothing.
00:20:04.480 -->
00:20:07.759Nothing, nothing's going on over here, everything's fine here.
00:20:08.319 -->
00:20:12.240Then we then we probably need to change things up, but you absolutely know something's going on.
00:20:12.480 -->
00:20:24.319And when you name the pull, I'm noticing that it maybe notice it for yourself as I'm noticing how much I want to go to blaming the higher-up authority figures here.
00:20:24.400 -->
00:20:27.279I'm I'm noticing how much I want to go to.
00:20:27.440 -->
00:20:28.400This will never work.
00:20:28.640 -->
00:20:29.839I mean, that's a classic one, isn't it?
00:20:29.920 -->
00:20:30.799This will never work.
00:20:31.119 -->
00:20:37.039Name the pull, because when you've put it on the table, it's like putting a pile of donuts on the table.
00:20:37.119 -->
00:20:39.759Nobody can say there's no donuts on the table.
00:20:39.920 -->
00:20:40.400It's there.
00:20:40.799 -->
00:20:44.799So you make it an object, don't let it run the show, put it out front.
00:20:45.039 -->
00:20:46.319So really name the pull.
00:20:46.400 -->
00:20:52.400I'm really noticing that we are looking at what's not gonna work, what the problems are, the negative.
00:20:52.720 -->
00:20:55.359And don't judge it, completely understand it.
00:20:55.599 -->
00:20:57.119I feel I I kind of feel the same.
00:20:57.359 -->
00:20:58.160Yeah, exactly.
00:20:58.400 -->
00:20:58.799Well, exactly.
00:20:58.880 -->
00:21:00.319I was just gonna say exactly that for that.
00:21:00.400 -->
00:21:04.319It might help if you feel you can to show that little bit of vulnerability as a leader.
00:21:04.480 -->
00:21:14.480You know, I might say something like, Look, I know for me that a bit of sarcasm and quips is probably indicative of the fact that I'm at I'm at the edge of something.
00:21:14.880 -->
00:21:15.680So can we notice that?
00:21:16.000 -->
00:21:16.799Can we notice that?
00:21:16.960 -->
00:21:18.880And you know, if anybody else feels they have something.
00:21:19.359 -->
00:21:25.440And you almost don't have to do a lot more with it, because you know, you've got no doubt super clever people on your team.
00:21:25.599 -->
00:21:32.799It's just that all these, like you say, the physical and emotional likes to work under the water and we don't have a language for it.
00:21:32.960 -->
00:21:37.599A little bit like synchronised swimmers, it's all messy under there, and they only want to come up when it looks neat.
00:21:37.680 -->
00:21:40.240And what you're saying is we're gonna look at the mechanics under there.
00:21:40.559 -->
00:22:01.359Okay, how do we get number three?
00:22:01.519 -->
00:22:03.599How do we get over the edge?
00:22:03.680 -->
00:22:05.120We're definitely gonna talk about the gym here.
00:22:05.279 -->
00:22:08.640Ah, well, I know this is I mean, this is one from us from childhood, Phil.
00:22:08.799 -->
00:22:12.880So there's lots of ways to get to get over the edge, which which Phil will go into.
00:22:13.120 -->
00:22:18.000One of them is about having either having a partner to go.
00:22:18.400 -->
00:22:18.640With you.
00:22:18.720 -->
00:22:28.720So literally imagine you're going up the mountain and someone sort of holding your hand or sort of helping you pull up on the ropes, andor somebody just goes ahead of you and says, It's alright up here, it's all right up.
00:22:29.519 -->
00:22:31.120And I have to say, you are the oldest friend.
00:22:31.200 -->
00:22:36.880And I feel in in many times in my life, you have been that either partner by my side or the person sort of going ahead.
00:22:37.120 -->
00:22:40.880Classic example of you going ahead was uh sledging when we were young.
00:22:41.279 -->
00:22:42.160And you ended up in A.
00:22:43.519 -->
00:22:44.400No, so I didn't do that.
00:22:44.640 -->
00:22:49.200Uh but the gym is a brilliant recent example that I've got to be really honest with myself.
00:22:49.440 -->
00:22:52.160Not my favourite thing, yeah, wouldn't go on my own.
00:22:52.400 -->
00:22:53.440And you were like, We're doing it.
00:22:53.519 -->
00:22:54.319Yeah, we're doing it.
00:22:54.480 -->
00:23:00.720And I was like, Yeah, you you definitely got me over that hurdle of getting in my car on a whatever evening and going to the gym.
00:23:00.960 -->
00:23:05.920So getting over the edge, I'm probably more a jumper.
00:23:06.079 -->
00:23:06.960Yes, definitely.
00:23:07.200 -->
00:23:10.720So I don't I really don't want to spend too long thinking about it.
00:23:10.880 -->
00:23:13.759You don't yeah, you don't want to be on this side of the mountain at all.
00:23:14.000 -->
00:23:16.079Talking, talking, talking about what it might be like on the side.
00:23:16.240 -->
00:23:18.079You just like, you're already half, I'm gonna go.
00:23:18.960 -->
00:23:24.079And actually, on the descent, when I realise there's no trampoline at the bottom, I'll fix en route.
00:23:24.160 -->
00:23:26.720I'll I'll I'll whip my jumper off and make a parachute.
00:23:26.799 -->
00:23:40.640You know, that's more how and I'm I think that's you know, recognising the what helps me get over the edge is I think what I know about myself is I've got the energy to go to run around, go back up and try again.
00:23:40.799 -->
00:23:47.120That I'd I'd rather have speed and lots of attempts than think about getting the perfect attempt.
00:23:47.200 -->
00:23:48.880I think that's overall true of me.
00:23:49.039 -->
00:23:50.400Not always, but overall.
00:23:50.640 -->
00:23:53.440And can I make a reference here, which we'll decide if we keep this in?
00:23:53.599 -->
00:24:03.120But for anybody who watched the celebrity traitors in the UK, Claire Balding, who is a TV presenter and sort of sports personality in the UK, is a I mean, such a brilliant example of this.
00:24:03.200 -->
00:24:10.559So they were doing an exercise and everyone was talking about it and trying to work out how to do it together, and Claire was just like, oh, I'm just gonna go and pull the lever.
00:24:12.160 -->
00:24:12.559There you go.
00:24:12.640 -->
00:24:13.279What a lovely thing.
00:24:13.440 -->
00:24:15.519And on that occasion it didn't work, but it might have done.
00:24:15.759 -->
00:24:17.440It might have done, yeah, love it, love it.
00:24:17.519 -->
00:24:20.480So so it's really recognising what helps you get over the edge.
00:24:20.559 -->
00:24:23.839You know, a a friend is an absolutely brilliant example.
00:24:23.920 -->
00:24:33.839And there's a piece of research recently which I absolutely love, which was people were put at the bottom of a mountain looking up the top to to to hike up.
00:24:34.079 -->
00:24:40.079One group were put on their own and asked how they felt and assessed on how easy they thought it would be and how long it would take.
00:24:40.160 -->
00:24:43.759And and the other group, every time, were put in pairs, in buddy pairs.
00:24:43.920 -->
00:24:48.640And the people who were put into pairs always judged it as shorter, quicker, and easier.
00:24:48.799 -->
00:24:51.279Wow, because they were with a friend, isn't that amazing?
00:24:51.519 -->
00:24:55.440So it could be the other one might be as well, just um a little trial.
00:24:55.680 -->
00:24:56.720Yes, a mini trial.
00:24:56.880 -->
00:24:58.720Yes, so I think I'm gonna build you a little bit.
00:24:59.120 -->
00:25:07.519I mean, if I if I think about this in terms of the the software accounting change that I was the biggest change I went through when I was in corporate many, many years ago.
00:25:07.680 -->
00:25:17.279If somebody had just given me a little you're you're only gonna use it for this, one tiny thing, and there's not a billion sort of buttons and this down the side, there's just three.
00:25:17.359 -->
00:25:23.839Yeah, I think I might have got there a lot quicker, but because the new systems and accounting software are absolutely overwhelming.
00:25:24.079 -->
00:25:24.559Can I give it?
00:25:24.880 -->
00:25:26.480So let me give an equivalent of that.
00:25:26.799 -->
00:25:34.480You have a new IT setup, so what I would need is to not eat the whole elephant, as we say.
00:25:35.039 -->
00:25:37.039To do to know everything about that.
00:25:37.440 -->
00:25:40.480And Matt did this brilliantly on AI.
00:25:40.880 -->
00:25:45.599Actually, what's the one bit that would be really useful right now?
00:25:45.759 -->
00:25:48.000So can you take it in chunks?
00:25:48.079 -->
00:25:49.359Yeah, run ahead.
00:25:49.519 -->
00:25:50.720That I absolutely love.
00:25:50.960 -->
00:25:52.480Visualising it is you spare it as well.
00:25:53.200 -->
00:25:57.839Act as if you're already there and see what see what that's doing it for others as well, is really good.
00:25:58.000 -->
00:26:03.599So, you know, even if you're sitting on the side of the mountain thinking, oh, I don't want to do this, I don't think it's gonna work.
00:26:03.759 -->
00:26:06.960Just look around your colleagues and think, you know what, we know we have to do it.
00:26:07.039 -->
00:26:08.240I'm gonna I'm gonna run ahead for them.
00:26:08.319 -->
00:26:09.039I'm gonna do it for them.
00:26:09.200 -->
00:26:13.279Can I say your a phrase I love that you say sometimes to me is I'm taking one for the team.
00:26:13.359 -->
00:26:16.079Yeah, I'll do it for the team, and actually, you know, pop it in your bank.
00:26:16.240 -->
00:26:17.039Yeah, exactly.
00:26:17.440 -->
00:26:25.680Well, also, particularly if we add in that lovely Boston matrix of what's high value to them and low cost to me, is actually I find this easy, so I'm gonna jump first.
00:26:25.839 -->
00:26:26.319Yeah, yeah.
00:26:26.480 -->
00:26:26.960Exactly.
00:26:27.120 -->
00:26:33.120Uh, lots of people do need lots of information, other people, a schedule will work brilliantly for you, much more planning.
00:26:33.279 -->
00:26:36.960Yeah, uh, like I said before, visioning for some people is hugely important.
00:26:37.039 -->
00:26:45.680So, creating imagery, we often say, is is really important to help people understand what might be on the other side of the mountain and get moving as well.
00:26:45.839 -->
00:26:48.799So, lots of ways we can help people to get over the edge.
00:26:49.039 -->
00:26:51.120I love the small step, I think that's really good.
00:26:51.359 -->
00:26:54.559Um that makes me think of the um pandemic.
00:26:54.720 -->
00:26:57.839I feel like we're starting to talk about this finally as actual history.
00:26:58.000 -->
00:26:59.120Yeah, it will be in the history books.
00:26:59.519 -->
00:27:01.200Yeah, we totally will, yeah, if not already.
00:27:01.279 -->
00:27:03.039But so the pandemic was a really good example.
00:27:03.200 -->
00:27:26.720We we had to pivot very, very quickly as a um as an SME, and I remember going up to the woods with an iPhone, and my partner at the time's daughter was did some filming for me, and it was that small chunk, it's like I don't know what is going to unfold in the next few weeks, like none of us knew whether it was gonna be like some sort from you know, the the movie contagion or whatever.
00:27:27.359 -->
00:27:34.160But what I could do was that first thing of well, what we can do is put some useful tips and content out online, like that.
00:27:34.319 -->
00:27:37.599I absolutely knew that, and it was so accessible, yeah.
00:27:37.759 -->
00:27:44.640And what it actually did was completely unfold into not only courses we ran, but the whole digital platform we now have.
00:27:44.720 -->
00:27:48.960But I didn't know that at the time, but it would that was doable, yes, and it answered a problem.
00:27:49.120 -->
00:27:50.799Yeah, the small steps really small.
00:27:51.200 -->
00:27:55.359Number four, so yeah, so so what's what's going to get you over the edge?
00:27:55.519 -->
00:27:58.319Number four is the inside job.
00:27:58.400 -->
00:28:08.559Now we we covered some of this in the resilience before we what once we've you know thought about well what happens in change, the edge behaviours, the triggers, and getting over the edge.
00:28:08.720 -->
00:28:14.160One of the pieces that we need is to self-regulate and because just remember it's it's a physical response.
00:28:14.720 -->
00:28:20.079And again, we go to the prefundal cortex, we think we need information, but the body is in uncertainty.
00:28:20.240 -->
00:28:20.559Exactly.
00:28:20.640 -->
00:28:23.039And do you know the thing I it's like like you're in the cave?
00:28:23.120 -->
00:28:32.960Yeah, like the thing I absolutely love, love, love about this because I know I really any listeners who are going, oh, we're in the breathing, we're in the breathing, meditating, self-regulating.
00:28:33.359 -->
00:28:34.160I do I have a bit of that.
00:28:34.319 -->
00:28:34.960I have a bit of that.
00:28:35.200 -->
00:28:37.680But this this is the We don't do the breathing in the yoga class.
00:28:38.319 -->
00:28:38.799But we need to.
00:28:39.039 -->
00:28:39.599I mean I breathe.
00:28:40.160 -->
00:28:40.559Yeah, sure.
00:28:41.519 -->
00:28:43.039I mean I don't do the sort of breathing sex.
00:28:43.599 -->
00:28:44.480We need to talk about that.
00:28:44.960 -->
00:28:46.240This is the bit I love.
00:28:46.480 -->
00:28:48.400This is the bit I love about this.
00:28:48.559 -->
00:28:49.599This is so important.
00:28:50.240 -->
00:28:56.319When we're in change, when we're in uncertainty, even chaos, I mean, you know, whatever, look at the world.
00:28:56.640 -->
00:29:10.559Oh my goodness, we spend so much time looking outwards to either blame, have a go, or critique, or solve it, solution, you should do something, rescue me.
00:29:11.039 -->
00:29:13.759And this is a trap because we get stuck.
00:29:13.920 -->
00:29:14.559Yes.
00:29:15.920 -->
00:29:25.440What you can the what I love about this is the certainty and stability you can is within absolutely access is one actual body.
00:29:25.680 -->
00:29:26.720It's the only place, isn't it?
00:29:26.880 -->
00:29:27.359It's the only place.
00:29:27.599 -->
00:29:28.000I was really good.
00:29:28.240 -->
00:29:36.319And what we do is we spend all this time dysregulated and unstable, trying to get the other person or system to get regulated so that we can feel regulate.
00:29:36.480 -->
00:29:39.759You can shortcut this baby, you can go, that's dysregulated out there.
00:29:39.920 -->
00:29:40.559I'm gonna regulate.
00:29:40.960 -->
00:29:48.559Anybody, for anybody, and I I I could finish that sentence who is going through a period of change in their work, but it's sort of pointless now because everybody is.
00:29:48.720 -->
00:30:01.120But for anybody out there who has got involved in a um slightly or dramatically conflictual uh long email chain where more and more people get copied in, which happens so often.
00:30:01.279 -->
00:30:13.039Yeah, just imagine how different the means and the style of the communication would have been if every single person involved in that email chain had done a little bit of self-regulation before stepping to their keyboard.
00:30:13.120 -->
00:30:13.279Yes.
00:30:13.440 -->
00:30:16.559I mean well, and then got off email, but yeah, and then got off email idea.
00:30:16.720 -->
00:30:17.759Yeah, it'll be totally different.
00:30:17.920 -->
00:30:18.559It'll be totally different.
00:30:18.799 -->
00:30:20.160But we think the answer is out there.
00:30:20.319 -->
00:30:21.039Yeah, absolutely.
00:30:21.279 -->
00:30:32.240I want to caveat this with I know that for some many that self-regulation has not been learned through their childhood and development.
00:30:32.480 -->
00:30:34.000So it's so interesting, isn't it?
00:30:34.079 -->
00:30:39.519Because we can just sort of slop this in and go, oh, by the way, before you step into change, bit of breathing, get self-regulated.
00:30:40.079 -->
00:30:47.599But actually, this isn't this is incredibly difficult and actually can be very, very uncomfortable for people to tune into what's going on in their body.
00:30:47.839 -->
00:30:54.559And and particularly neurodiverse people, that the the emotional dimension can be very difficult to get to regulate.
00:30:54.720 -->
00:30:54.799Yes.
00:30:55.039 -->
00:30:57.599But lots of us, as you say, don't learn it.
00:30:58.240 -->
00:31:06.880We don't learn that we can actually self-regulate internally because just through the way we've been conditioned, we we understand that regulation has to come from outside.
00:31:06.960 -->
00:31:08.640And of course, that's not a case.
00:31:08.880 -->
00:31:10.319So I want to give a caveat to this.
00:31:10.400 -->
00:31:17.440For some people, stillness, calming, gentle walk in nature, reading a book, having a bath, all gonna help.
00:31:17.680 -->
00:31:22.000For some people, we need to kind of be a little bit more activated than that.
00:31:22.160 -->
00:31:33.039So things like more movement, a brisk walk, maybe even dancing around the kitchen, that you are you're putting some activation into your system, but you're taking control of it, exactly.
00:31:33.200 -->
00:31:34.640So find your access point.
00:31:34.720 -->
00:31:40.720If sitting on a beanbag just leaves you completely imploding internally, then get moving.
00:31:41.200 -->
00:31:42.000Move a bit.
00:31:42.240 -->
00:31:59.279Okay, you're you're effectively what you're doing is you're trying to counter the trigger that's happened by you taking control of your breathing, your nervous system, regulating your body because something externally has sort of think of it as something that suddenly sort of grabbed it and is in control of it, and you want to grab control.
00:31:59.680 -->
00:32:01.440And you're saying we're in control here.
00:32:01.680 -->
00:32:02.319Exactly that.
00:32:02.559 -->
00:32:05.359Okay, number five, the possibility mindset.
00:32:06.400 -->
00:32:08.240I'm gonna ri I'm gonna I'm gonna read this out.
00:32:08.480 -->
00:32:14.079It is not possible to access possibility from a place of reactivity.
00:32:14.240 -->
00:32:21.920So that's why step four is so important because that whole fight or flight is not designed for you to go, oh, I think I'll go and take a look over here.
00:32:22.079 -->
00:32:24.480Yeah, it's designed for tiger on the tiger.
00:32:24.960 -->
00:32:25.200Exactly.
00:32:25.440 -->
00:32:26.079Fight or flight.
00:32:26.480 -->
00:32:30.319I'm not thinking, oh, I'm wondering if something new.
00:32:30.480 -->
00:32:31.440Shall we have a look?
00:32:31.599 -->
00:32:32.400Get curious.
00:32:32.640 -->
00:32:34.400Like exactly.
00:32:34.559 -->
00:32:43.519So you have so we have to get at least, and it's a good point though that sometimes, sometimes you don't necessarily want to step into possibility.
00:32:43.599 -->
00:32:45.279Like if there's genuine danger.
00:32:45.680 -->
00:32:47.279Sure, sure, sure, sure.
00:32:47.359 -->
00:32:47.599Absolutely.
00:32:47.759 -->
00:32:48.160Absolutely.
00:32:48.640 -->
00:32:54.079It's relatively rare that there's actual danger in a change initiative.
00:32:54.400 -->
00:32:56.240Absolutely, absolutely in the workplace.
00:32:56.640 -->
00:32:57.039Exactly.
00:32:57.120 -->
00:32:59.120So it might feel like that, but exactly.
00:33:00.000 -->
00:33:05.039So, and it's not even like we said before, it's not it's not that we have to be in some kind of zen state all the time.
00:33:05.200 -->
00:33:10.319It's just that if we are in the reactivity where we feel out of control, we're not going to be able to look for possibility.
00:33:10.480 -->
00:33:10.799Okay.
00:33:11.120 -->
00:33:13.680This is the thing I love about the possibility mindset.
00:33:13.759 -->
00:33:17.519We've done so much on this over our podcasting and training days.
00:33:17.680 -->
00:33:21.120It's a can-do attitude, it's what's possible.
00:33:21.359 -->
00:33:29.519Here's the thing to think about: not to go into self-blame or defeat or you know that that sort of catastrophe is not working.
00:33:29.759 -->
00:33:33.359I'm a terrible person, I'm a terrible leader, I'm weak, I shouldn't think like this.
00:33:33.440 -->
00:33:34.799We are wired that way.
00:33:34.960 -->
00:33:36.240Like, give yourself a break.
00:33:36.400 -->
00:33:38.000That's where the brain's gonna go.
00:33:38.160 -->
00:33:44.319But it's noticing it and shifting to what can I control, what is possible here, and this is what I love.
00:33:44.480 -->
00:33:45.680Humphrey, get out of the hill of it.
00:33:45.920 -->
00:33:47.359See, he's literally digging my flowers out.
00:33:48.880 -->
00:33:52.079Um now we've got we've got activated dogs now.
00:33:52.319 -->
00:33:56.400But this is the way to think about the possibility mindset.
00:33:56.799 -->
00:33:58.240Where is your energy going?
00:33:58.559 -->
00:34:02.319Yes, I think that's a much more accessible way that I should or I should not.
00:34:02.720 -->
00:34:03.200Totally, Phil.
00:34:03.440 -->
00:34:16.079And you you very often talk about this more sort of in the in the arena of mental health, that that the energy is is there and and anxiety is there, it's just inherent in who who we are as humans.
00:34:16.239 -->
00:34:18.880And the question exactly as you said, where do you want it to go?
00:34:18.960 -->
00:34:32.319And there's I mean, there's a number of ways it could go, it could implode in in terms of, as you said, self-criticism or just bringing us down or stagnating, it could go out in terms of reactivity.
00:34:32.719 -->
00:34:36.479It is equally possible to push it out into creativity.
00:34:36.719 -->
00:34:46.000I would offer, and this is not true for everybody, but I would offer that for some of us, pushing that anxiety and energy out into creativity takes a little bit more conscious thought.
00:34:46.159 -->
00:34:46.319Yes.
00:34:47.119 -->
00:34:49.839The other two places might be a bit autopilot for some of us.
00:34:50.159 -->
00:34:58.000Yeah, so we need the mindset of what's possible here, and that and that is simply our stopping, asking the question: what could we do right now?
00:34:58.159 -->
00:34:59.839What is in our hands right now?
00:35:00.079 -->
00:35:05.839What would be possible if we stopped spending our energy here and put it here?
00:35:06.159 -->
00:35:13.199And from there, it doesn't have to be huge, but we know the direct relationship between anxiety and action.
00:35:13.359 -->
00:35:17.759As soon as we start taking action of what's possible, our anxiety starts to go down.
00:35:17.919 -->
00:35:21.279I mean, honestly, it can even be doing the doing the washing up or tiding a drawer.
00:35:21.519 -->
00:35:23.119Like it's just doing something.
00:35:23.359 -->
00:35:25.119I did something I really thought of you yesterday.
00:35:25.439 -->
00:35:26.159I love tiding a drawer.
00:35:26.399 -->
00:35:27.519Well, I really thought of you yesterday.
00:35:27.679 -->
00:35:29.519I did I can't even remember what it was now.
00:35:29.599 -->
00:35:31.199I remember thinking I must say this to Penn.
00:35:31.279 -->
00:35:34.079I did some really sort of household tie, I can't remember what it was.
00:35:34.319 -->
00:35:40.559And I remember getting to the end, I got to the end of it, it must have taken 20 minutes, and I thought, ah, that feels done.
00:35:40.719 -->
00:35:41.439That feels good.
00:35:41.599 -->
00:35:43.119That feels good because it was completion.
00:35:43.359 -->
00:35:47.439Yes, I will watch videos of people organising their under sync covers film.
00:35:47.839 -->
00:35:48.239I know.
00:35:48.399 -->
00:35:57.279It's completion, it's completion, it's the gestalt, it's the full circle, and in uncertainty and difficulty or chaos, what we don't have is the gestalt, is the complete circle.
00:35:57.599 -->
00:36:16.879So if you can find smaller tasks, possible tasks that you can do of well, what we can do is change our office sort of communication choices or system, or we can change our um slide decks or something, you can do a completion task within the chaos that can really regulate you.
00:36:17.119 -->
00:36:19.519And it's also developmental.
00:36:19.599 -->
00:36:30.319So, you know, for those of you who are interested in sort of developmental theory, the you know, the stage of human development that we are pushing into and we need to push into is creativity.
00:36:30.399 -->
00:36:32.639So really moving from reactivity to creativity.
00:36:33.279 -->
00:36:35.199So, you know, get ahead of the curve, yeah.
00:36:35.599 -->
00:36:44.079You know, pause where you know, when you're feeling that edge in change, when you're feeling like things aren't possible, take a moment and think, do I want to be a developed human being?
00:36:44.239 -->
00:36:47.119And step into the creative mindset, the possibility mindset.
00:36:47.519 -->
00:36:49.359And and call a friend on the way and have an event.
00:36:49.519 -->
00:36:50.559Yeah, absolutely fine.
00:36:50.639 -->
00:36:54.319Like the feelings are there, and that makes me think of this last piece on this.
00:36:54.399 -->
00:36:56.559Well, just to say again, this is contagious.
00:36:56.719 -->
00:37:01.279So, as a leader, when you start looking at possibility and using that language, it's going to start really.
00:37:01.599 -->
00:37:08.319Well, if you ask your team what's the problem here, what are the issues here, versus what's one thing that's positive, or what's one thing you love about this?
00:37:08.639 -->
00:37:09.039The whole conversation.
00:37:09.599 -->
00:37:10.879The whole conversation changes.
00:37:11.119 -->
00:37:12.719So, really important.
00:37:13.199 -->
00:37:17.839This is not to pretend that difficulty doesn't exist.
00:37:18.559 -->
00:37:21.679This is simply to refuse to live there.
00:37:21.839 -->
00:37:32.239So we're not looking at the toxic posity like we where we started, the full loop, completion, um, of sort of, you know, of of like the fixed grin and pretense.
00:37:32.479 -->
00:37:34.159It's you go that you're right.
00:37:34.239 -->
00:37:36.559We don't know, this is tough, yes, it feels hard.
00:37:36.879 -->
00:37:38.000We can't get hold of those products.
00:37:38.079 -->
00:37:40.959Yes, the customers are gonna have to take toys, we're gonna have to take half a day off.
00:37:41.119 -->
00:37:43.839Yeah, this is all true, and we're not gonna live there.
00:37:43.919 -->
00:37:44.159Yes.
00:37:44.319 -->
00:37:47.599We're gonna acknowledge that it's there, and we're gonna well, we're gonna ask a different question.
00:37:47.839 -->
00:37:53.199Well, we often say for don't we, which you which you love, that at the simplest level there are three ways to live your life.
00:37:53.359 -->
00:37:59.199And I think that is true now more than ever, because you know, the world is just happening at a time.
00:37:59.279 -->
00:38:00.719You'll have to name you'll have to name those three.
00:38:00.879 -->
00:38:01.279Yeah, I will.
00:38:01.359 -->
00:38:04.000The world is just happening to us at an ever-increasing pace.
00:38:04.159 -->
00:38:05.519Yeah, that is happening.
00:38:05.599 -->
00:38:13.199Yeah, and I think lots of what we see in change initiatives and change theory is is the energy is spent trying to stop it from happening.
00:38:13.359 -->
00:38:16.079Yeah, or to control it, or to control it, or redirect it.
00:38:16.479 -->
00:38:19.279It's going to keep happening and it's gonna keep happening faster and faster.
00:38:19.359 -->
00:38:22.399So, your choice as a human being is you have three choices.
00:38:22.559 -->
00:38:23.279Very simple.
00:38:23.519 -->
00:38:34.959This is happening, I'm going to be sort of victim to it and just accept that it's happening and sort of might be a bit passive, might be a bit victimised, might accept things that are really against your values.
00:38:35.039 -->
00:38:36.479I'm just gonna be crushed by it.
00:38:36.559 -->
00:38:39.839The second way to live your life is to fight, fight, fight, fight, fight.
00:38:40.079 -->
00:38:44.879I'm gonna be reactive, I'm gonna push back, I'm gonna complain, I'm gonna blame, I'm gonna this isn't right, I'm gonna blah blah blah.
00:38:45.199 -->
00:38:53.199The third way to live your life as all this change is happening is to reflect on yourself and decide to change something here.
00:38:53.519 -->
00:39:04.559Now, that might be an awareness around an edge behaviour, it might be taking an action, it might be asking a more uh sort of possibility mindset question, but that really is your creative choice of where to live your life.
00:39:04.879 -->
00:39:05.839So empowering, yeah.
00:39:06.239 -->
00:39:07.279I just love it so much.
00:39:08.000 -->
00:39:15.519So, your tip right at the end of this, if we wrap all of this up, we move through, recognize your edge behaviour.
00:39:16.239 -->
00:39:18.559Recognize the triggers within yourself, name it.
00:39:19.039 -->
00:39:22.399Thirdly, how can you and others get over the edge?
00:39:22.559 -->
00:39:26.879What are the things that help you get through that wall of fire over the edge?
00:39:26.959 -->
00:39:33.599Number four, inside job, get yourself regulated, don't wait for the system to regulate you, get yourself certain and stable.
00:39:33.919 -->
00:39:36.639Number five, how can you go into that positive mindset?
00:39:36.799 -->
00:39:38.079Where are you putting your energy?
00:39:38.239 -->
00:39:39.279What is possible here?
00:39:39.599 -->
00:39:42.719One simple question to ask to bring all of this together.
00:39:43.119 -->
00:39:51.439Stop breathe, name what's happening, and then ask what can we actually do here?
00:39:51.919 -->
00:39:53.359Very nice, simple.
00:39:54.079 -->
00:39:56.399So that is your episode two of change.
00:39:57.359 -->
00:39:58.239We have another one coming.
00:39:58.399 -->
00:40:08.639We've got another one coming up, which is all about that flex, that adaptation, moving quickly and move to taking things into action and being much more really a way of being.
00:40:08.719 -->
00:40:08.879Yeah.
00:40:09.119 -->
00:40:18.159That you are simply that, you don't even you stop even thinking about it because when change comes in, uncertainty comes in, you're already that bamboo, that tree that's ready to flex and move.
00:40:18.399 -->
00:40:18.799It's wonderful.
00:40:19.039 -->
00:40:19.439It is wonderful.
00:40:19.519 -->
00:40:20.000It's so free.
00:40:20.319 -->
00:40:22.799Meeting the system just in every moment where it is.
00:40:23.119 -->
00:40:26.399Well, we've got a taxi coming in about half an hour for us.
00:40:26.479 -->
00:40:28.399So my question is, what can we actually do here and now?
00:40:28.559 -->
00:40:35.199Well, we need to stop recording, say goodbye to our fabulous listeners, and uh get these dogs up to the dog sitter and go to Copenhagen.
00:40:35.439 -->
00:40:36.159Lovely.
00:40:39.759 -->
00:40:44.719Thank you so much for listening to this episode of the 40 Human Being Podcast.
00:40:44.879 -->
00:40:46.239We hope you enjoyed the show.
00:40:46.479 -->
00:40:58.399Do take on board some of the insights, tools, and tips because every time that you try something new to get back to choice, you are making a vote for the you that you want to become.
00:40:58.479 -->
00:41:00.079And I I love that phrase, Pen.
00:41:00.239 -->
00:41:00.879I do too.
00:41:00.959 -->
00:41:09.199And please do share this episode with somebody that you know would really benefit from the lessons and learnings we've been chatting about today.
00:41:09.439 -->
00:41:14.239And of course, if you're interested in more from 4D Human Being, do get in touch.
00:41:14.399 -->
00:41:19.279We run workshops, trainings online, in person, conference events and keynotes.
00:41:19.359 -->
00:41:31.199We've got the 4D on-demand platform for your whole organization, and we do have a free essentials membership where anybody can sign up for absolutely free to access some of our insights, tools, and tips.
00:41:31.359 -->
00:41:33.599So do get in touch with us if you'd like to hear more.
00:41:33.759 -->
00:41:37.119We cannot wait to hear from you and to carry on the conversation.
