Chase Wright: Brokenness, Surrender & Finding God in the Lowest Moments

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Speaker 1: What's up, y'all. It's Chase, right.
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Speaker 2: I just got so far down this road of like not who I want to be. I felt like there was nowhere else to go. There was nothing else that I could do on my own.
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Speaker 1: Went to church. Camp radically changed my life.
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Speaker 2: I remember the difference in how I felt and just the like conviction for the first time.
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Speaker 1: And this is the uplook.
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Speaker 3: Having your organs like everything, just like I can't imagine just moved around everywhere. I'm like, I'll walk four steps and I'll be like, why am I out of Like I'm fine, I'm not out of shape, but I'm out of brother right now.
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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, I can't even imagine. Pregnancy is a whole nother thing.
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Speaker 3: If you do not believe in God, after having a baby, I don't know how you I've said it.
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Speaker 1: I can yell yell from the mountaintops.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, Like watching childbirth just like that. When I saw my sister give birth to a baby, like in the room. I was in the room and like, I was.
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Speaker 1: Was this before your first child?
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Speaker 4: This was way before my first It was years before my first child.
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Speaker 3: And I'm like watching the baby come out of her and I'm just like this in the background, and I'm like, god, it is so cool, and everybody's like freaked out and grossed out, and I'm like this, this is a miracle.
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Speaker 2: Just freaked out and grossed out. I'm sorry. I've got no like compassion for that, but no, I mean and just like crazy how it literally starts from nothing, yeah, and just and then somehow there's this living, breathing being that's just here.
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Speaker 4: Anyway. We're on a baby tangent. How you doing, Mark?
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Speaker 5: So good? It's good to be back broke. Yeah, I love I love, love love child. But I could be a midman, not a mid.
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Speaker 6: One, A mid husband's that's what I said. After the first one. I was like, I could deliver babies, yeah, which.
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Speaker 3: Is huge to say because some men get My husband after my first section, he was like, I saw your guts on the table.
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Speaker 5: I'm saying babies because I haven't.
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Speaker 1: I haven't dealt with that. I I can't even imagine that, you know. But yeah, I'm with you. I know, I like think there is there's some being so magical about the whole process, you know. Yeah, a mid mid mid man. We actually had one out of one of our four children.
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Speaker 5: We had a mid man.
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Speaker 4: I love that for you.
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Speaker 5: It's like very rare, but we actually had one.
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Speaker 6: And the funny thing is they went to our church as well, so it was kind of a little bit awkward, but just it's just real family.
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Speaker 5: On Sunday.
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Speaker 4: Get it, Mark the Midman. I actually love this idea. Anyway, I digress.
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Speaker 3: We're not here to talk about childbirth, but we are here to talk about something else. I'm just going to introduce our next guest today. Country artist has such a loyal fan base and I'll tell you he has quite the story to tell, which I'm excited to dive into today.
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Speaker 4: Moments of his life.
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Speaker 3: God has asked him to leave what's comfortable and step into to what is uncertain, and he knows exactly what that that's like. We're going to talk about it today and learn more about Chase right Is on the podcast today.
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Speaker 4: Welcome.
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Speaker 1: Thank you guys so much for having me.
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Speaker 2: This is like, this is this is one that I really wanted to do because I feel like it just gives you a platform to talk about things that maybe you don't really get the chance to naturally talk about, or at least I don't. I haven't gotten as bold as I probably need to be to talk about these things and other like settings.
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Speaker 1: So I'm really glad to be here.
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Speaker 4: Well, being in Nashville and kind of you know, being an.
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Speaker 3: Artist period, it's it's mostly focused on the music, and I feel like this is a platform where you can be open and honest about what you believe in and how you got there and going through the struggles of you know, you don't people there's a big misconception of when it comes to being a Christian on you know, that's just going to be this just fairy tale like journey, and you're like, it's actually going to be a really.
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Speaker 4: Big faith journey.
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Speaker 1: So yeah, oh my gosh. Yeah, to say the least too.
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Speaker 2: And I feel like, but I mean, that's so like like consistent with every you know, person in the Bible that we that we hear about and get gets preached about, and that everybody sort of tries to model their life after. There's always some massive trial, right, And I feel like, you know, I've I've.
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Speaker 1: Been been been told and still tell.
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Speaker 2: People like, if if everything was perfect, what would we need God for? We would we would start to think that we're you know, I'm somehow in like control of everything that's going on and that I did this and I but when you get brought to your knees, that's when you realize, like, oh, nothing I can do is going to fix or change whatever's going on, you know.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, Okay, So tell us about your faith journey and sort of how that became real to you and what you believe in.
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Speaker 5: Yeah.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, no, so my like, I feel like my faith journey is a little bit different than most. I was baptized as a junior.
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Speaker 1: In high school, so fairly late.
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Speaker 2: I didn't My family always kind of loosely, you know, believed in God. There was always there wasn't any sort of question that there is something greater, you know, but we didn't really attend church as a family and and and.
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Speaker 1: All that stuff.
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Speaker 2: But it just took one of my really good friends in like high school to constantly be like, hey man, you want to come to this thing on There was this there was this event. It was called maybe I think it was called fifth Quarter. It was a local church after the high school football games on Friday nights would have students to the to the church and they would just like play worship music and have things like food and hang out. It was like it was like an after party for the football games. And so, yeah, which is like great, Like, what a great way to.
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Speaker 1: Get kids into the end of the church.
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Speaker 4: That's brilliant.
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Speaker 2: I I what a great way to get kids into the church on like a really low sort of like pressure thing, you know. And so he just you know, kept asking me to go to that, and then at some point I said yes. And then it was like, hey, do you want to come to church with me on Sunday?
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Speaker 5: Sure?
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Speaker 2: You want to come to church camp with me this summer? Sure, you know. And it was just those things, right, just kept saying yes. But his family had gone to church a bunch and you know and whatever, like his whole his whole life, they were leaders in the church and stuff like that, and so but yeah, I just took him asking, you know and over over and over again, and I went to went to church camp this summer before my junior year of high school. And that like radically changed my life, which is now it's like when I'm when I'm tithing, when like you know, my wife and I are tithing to church, it's like specifically give it to the church camp. Scholarship because I didn't come from money, and I only was able to go to church camp because somebody else paid, right, And if that hadn't been the case, it's like where where would I be? And there was something so valuable in that. And so yeah, after like church camp, I got baptized a couple of weeks later, and since since then it's sort of just been on this faith faith journey. And yeah, and then went to went to like college, and you know, kind of fell off the wagon a little bit, as some do, but I you know, got and got involved in a youth group there and and sort of and tried to I just started getting into like singing. Then I didn't sing before college, and so uh sort of cut my teeth a little bit by leading leading worship in this youth youth group at college and joined a local worship band at one of the local churches and learn how to play with any years and click and stuff like that, you know, and just sort of like cause I just you know, loved loved singing and just started doing that, you know, and playing out at bars, making a couple of hundred bucks here and here and there in college, and then but also like felt like it was a you know, like gift that I should try to use this to share you know, the gospel or use it in some way related to like church and stuff like that. And so yeah, and so that was like kind of kind of the out and moved to Nashville and sort of again just like just like college, you you know, I fell fell off the wagon a little bit, you know, and then but I feel like, just like radically like more than ever was you know, brought brought to my knees. And then you know again a couple of years later in a whole different way, and it's like, but all those things were so formative and too who I am today and and and you know, and I feel like if I like wanted it, you know, wanted the like success musically, you know, if I got it when I when I wanted it, I would have just completely ruined it and would have blown it all up because I wasn't the man I needed to be then. And so yeah, you know, it's just I mean, we could we could dive and dive into more, but that's sort of the loose sort of framework about how you know, I got to where I am today. And and yeah, yeah, man, it's just, uh, it's been a pretty pretty wild wild ride.
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Speaker 4: But yeah, and I think it's so important.
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Speaker 3: And I know Mark will agree that those moments where you say, like, you know, I fell off the wagon or I was brought to my knee, is that that is what a walk with God looks like. Yeah, Like there are going to be moments where you're close and where you're you know, feeling like you're crushing it, and then there's gonna be moments where you're in a deep pit of despair and you're like, where am I supposed to be right now?
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Speaker 1: Or how did I even get here?
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Speaker 2: You know, like there was there was like so many moments when I moved to Nashville and I was, you know, I was you know, like attending church regularly, and I was like, I'm doing I'm doing like well, you know, I like pray every night, I'm doing well. I believe in God. I'm doing well. Until you know, you you end up just down this road and then one day you look up and you're like, how the heck did I get here? Like I I in my whole time, I was reaffirming myself. But I'm not a bad person. I'm a good person because I do all these things. It's like, but I just got so far down this road of like not who I want to be and making decisions and choices that I don't want to make.
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Speaker 1: But how did I get here?
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Speaker 5: You know?
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Speaker 2: And it really took a full one to eighty course correction and and sort of removing myself from circles of you know, friends that weren't really leading me down the right path and not really blaming you know, anybody other than myself, you know, for those things. But also you know, like sure doesn't it shouldn't help.
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Speaker 1: Sure, sure does?
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Speaker 2: Like sure doesn't help to be closely associated with people that don't necessarily share those same values.
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Speaker 3: And you know, well, I don't want to be too forward with this, but I'm going to because that's what this podcast is for. But you talk about these moments that brought you to your knees right, and and these moments that were formative in your your walk.
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Speaker 4: As a Christian.
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Speaker 3: And I know one of those was a relationship you were in with your and then getting your son and all these things. So let's start there, because I think that this is such an important conversation to have that a lot of people probably deal with that are afraid to speak about. And so take us through that moment, because I think this is one of those hitting your knees moments, and like, God, how did I get here?
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Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I mean it was it. I'm like on the other end of it all now, you know, happily, happily married and I've got a great, you know, beautiful son three years old, and I feel like, you know, my like job professionally too, is in a great, great place now too, And so like all this is as a like testimony that at the other end of it, you know, I was formed through all this, and at the other the other end has been something really like really really really great and so but in those formative and that during that formative process, right, it was the lowest lows I feel.
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Speaker 1: Like I've ever felt.
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Speaker 2: But I needed that because now I'm more in tune with my faith than ever before, you know. And yeah, I mean I was in a like relationship for a while. I had a child out of wet wedlock with this person, and you know, and then it just you know, did not work work out. It was never going to work out. I feel like for so long I tried to force it just because like I, you know, when you have a child, you want to try to I didn't want to have a broken home. Like that's not anything that I got into this world, you know, thinking was going to happen. You know, I've always had my life put together. I you know, did really well in like school and college and sports and you know, professionally, I try to have my life together. And that's not really where I saw things headed, you know. But of course a couple dumb, dumb decisions and here you here, you are, right, And so I tried, I like hung on longer than I probably should have. And and you know, and through that I was you know, I wasn't the best human either, because I wasn't wasn't happy. She wasn't happy, and we just weren't the best versions of ourselves, you know.
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Speaker 1: And it and it and it didn't. It didn't end like great.
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Speaker 5: It didn't.
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Speaker 2: It ended pretty pretty like poorly, you know. And and yeah it was just some pretty lonely and upsetting and dark times, you know. And and I was just like alone, really I hadn't you know, me my son, and that was it. My Famili's five hours away. I didn't have I moved to a new city close to Nashville to raise my son in a place that was more welcoming to raise raise a child, and I didn't have friends near me, like literally nothing, and so I just like being brought to your knees that I feel like is sort of we say that figuratively a lot, but there was. I mean, I've never prayed on my knees before until then, you know, and it's yeah, man, it's.
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Speaker 1: It's like a lot to like unpack.
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Speaker 2: But I feel like it was just those moments where, you know, so many things happened that really I'm like, this is this is the lowest point in my life. No, no, this is no, no, this it just kept getting where. But then those low points are then what those needed to happen for me to have my son full full time you know, I need I you know. And now it's like it's been the biggest blessing of my entire life to have have him, you know, him and I full time to get you know. And it was like, for a period before I met my now wife, I was a single dad every day alone doing this thing, you know, and still running a business, trying to be you know, the artist I know I can be and and trying to you know, be a great dad and try to do and it was like it was a lot to manage, but the only way I got through any of that was through God in my faith. You know, like there's no there's no other way that that could have happened. Right, It's so much going on, so much to manage, and it's like but we we did it. We got to the other end. And so it was just in those in those moments where like I'm like just you know, just a full full grown man on the floor of you know, some room in the house, just like sobbing because I'm just so like how did I get here? Like I felt, I you know, I wasn't the best place mentally just in the like relationship, but also out of it. I was like I just felt like everything's my fault as the man you're supposed to you know, like what's going you know, it's just all these things going through my head, which you know, like most of them weren't like true, which is kind of what I was telling myself in the moment, and I you know, but I don't, Yeah, I mean, it's it's just all those things I know now needed to happen, right, And I'm as crazy as it is, I'm grateful that those moments happened. And the hardest times I've ever gone through and hopefully hopefully the hardest times I will. But yeah, I mean it's it, but I'm but I look at it now with this sense of gratitude because of where I ended up, and I know that that where I'm at today would only happen through the journey that I had to go through.
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Speaker 5: Right, Yeah, And what kept you going?
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Speaker 6: Like because I think the perspective afterwards, Man, I can see why I needed it.
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Speaker 5: It was so good. I'm so grateful? Is so true? And good? Is is it?
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Speaker 6: Perspective? Is it one day I'm going to look back. Is that what kept you going? Is it just crying out? You're just white knuckling it? Because I think a lot of people are in that place of where they're like, crap, another low point, and this is what worked for you?
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Speaker 5: Yeah?
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Speaker 2: I think I got to the point where it's like I'm not going to be able to function normally for my son, or for myself or from my business if I hold onto this, right, And so it was like the like desperation of like I don't want to feel this, I don't want to deal with this, Like God, take this from from me, do something with it.
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Speaker 1: I'm I can't. I've clearly screwed this up.
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Speaker 2: You know, this isn't how things are supposed to go, or I mean it is right, but not like how you know, It's like could have could have gone if I would have just surrendered everything originally instead of just going down my own path because I'm self self righteous and I'm doing the right thing, you know this and that whatever, and so I think it just came out of that point of desperation, like I can't hold on to this and get enough sleep to wake up in the morning and make my son breakfast and then go and do a songwriter or whatever the situation is, right, I can't do what I need to as a father, as a business owner if I continue to hold onto these burdens and and have all this like you know, this, shame, regret, this just I mean just it was. It was just too much, and and I just you and I feel like that was where things began to change, was when in those tough moments, I just really just dove in and I was like because I just didn't want to hold onto selfishly. I just I just don't want to deal with this, Like, please take this from me and use it for use it for good. I like trust that you're going to take this and use it for good. And you know, and as the situations got worse and worse, you know, I started to see just like the blessings that came from me just relinquishing that to God.
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Speaker 5: It's so good.
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Speaker 6: The scripture that's in my heart as you're talking is cast your cares on the Lord. And that idea of casting, even the original word, it is like kind of like a violent like I don't want to carry this anymore. Like you're kind of like casting them off. It's not just like Okay, here you go, God, I'm.
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Speaker 1: Just gently handing them.
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Speaker 6: Here's the stuff I've been you know, I've been crying about and I've been had been tormenting me. It's like, I'm so at the end of surrender looking almost like a violent casting and you know, committed conviction, throw at the feet of Jesus.
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Speaker 2: And he and that's and that's when He's like, Okay, you're like ready, you like get it now, because there's there's this there's like a there's like passion behind that, right it is? It just like a I like, guess you can, you can probably do this, do something with this. It's like they're like like, like what you said, it's just violent throwing. It's this like emotional like take take this.
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Speaker 6: Yeah, it's the sun walking back on the road after eating with the pigs, exactly that feeling. I'm like, bro, I don't care what it takes. I just I don't want to be in this state. I'll be a servant at my father's house exactly. Whatever. That humility that's stripping away myself and this type group I had on everything, which I didn't even realize I had, but exactly. And it's cool to see when you see scriptures like you know, you're reading one day and you and it's you know, cast your cares on the Lord, and you're like, that's great, Okay, now I can go a part my day. But like when you live, the word becomes live and active in you.
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Speaker 2: You see, you get it, you get it, you see it through a new light, and I feel like I look, I I would sporadically read the Bible like in the beginning, I think it was twenty twenty one. I was like, I'm gonna read the entire Bible in a year. And I got like halfway through a trip, came up, I missed a couple of days. Now I'm so far behind, and I just gave up right And it's and I mean it was, it's that's just like I feel like reality for a lot of a lot of people, they like are really gung ho. They and then they bite off more than they can chew and then they're just like, oh, man, like I'm so far.
00:18:26
Speaker 1: I'm just I just failed whatever.
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Speaker 2: But I was listening to another podcast, Josh Josh Howerton pastor out of Texas, like amazing guy, right, like just a very like man's man when it comes to podcasting. I feel like it's just like the guys like and and he he was just like, the best reading plan you can do is one that you can do. He's like, if it's a if it's diverse to day, if it's a chapter day, if it's whatever, just do just do whatever you can do to maintain, you know. And So I've been recently within the last I don't know, maybe it's like six months. I don't know how long it's been right. But I've just been doing a chapter a day and it's very some chapters long longer than others, but it's something I can do. And I'm really reading more of the like word, and I feel like I'm I'm pretty much through the New the New Testament now and which is great, but I like go through those and I'm and I feel like there's this you you read the passages through a new new light now if you've, if you've experienced some of those trials, and I feel like you know now you have something if like nothing else you has something to talk about a testimony.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, and I think it's so important to point out just what we were all just or what you were just telling us, Like God says, my yoka's easy and my burden is light for a reason, because we're not supposed to carry all of this, and I love that you are, Like I'm just at this point where I can't do this anymore and I'm going to give it all to him and figure this out because I feel like this is a lot of people, like you said, Mark, are in this season of like I'm in a pit again. I don't know how I got here, Like why is this happening to me?
00:19:48
Speaker 4: What do I do from here? And just like chunk it at him, man, just like throw it, you know what I mean, just get rid of it.
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Speaker 1: Why would you? Why would you want to carry that?
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Speaker 5: Why would you?
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Speaker 2: Why would I don't like want to carry that? But I but I know, well, obviously God, God knows me and knows what I need. And God will always meet you where you need to be met, if it's a if it's a YouTube video or not a YouTube TikTok video on your on your timeline, and it just stops you in your like tracks, like, He'll meet you where you where you need to be need to be met. And I'm such a like independent, like business owner leader, I'm going.
00:20:21
Speaker 1: To figure this out. I always figure it out.
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Speaker 2: I'll find a way and if I don't know how to, yeah, I'll just figure it out right. And it's like and it took me just being so overwhelmed with trying to figure it out that he was like and when I finally was just like I can't, He's like, okay, good. I just needed to pile so much on you to realize that you have no control over this and this sen once you once you start to like relinquish this, I'll start to make it make like sense and start to put things in like order again. And and yeah, I mean it just it like took you know, my like professional career like kind of crumbling. It took my personal life kind of crumbling. Like I you know, professionally, I parted with ways with like half of my team the same exact time that I was going through that like breakup, and it was so much change at once, and you know, and with that, like revenues are down, but you know, expenses are up with all the court stuff, and then it's like, you know, and I'm just it's just so many things at once, and it was just like it just it was that like he knew what I needed to finally, you know, like let go.
00:21:27
Speaker 6: Yeah, that's that is how it goes. And it feels beautifully brutal. Yeah, it's it's beautiful and it's brutal. And the only I mean the thing is to really really surrender, it has to be really really hot.
00:21:46
Speaker 5: That's the truth.
00:21:47
Speaker 6: Otherwise there's I'm just gonna be like, yeah, yeah, that was hard. But I think a trial is only a trial when there's no light at the end of the tunnel. So if there's a light at the end of the tunnel, I'm just doing life. I'm not in a trial. True trial is like this isn't a trial, this is I'm dying.
00:22:05
Speaker 5: This is hell.
00:22:06
Speaker 6: And so I think those those are the place where consider it pure joy when you face trials, because of what it's producing in you is maturity, completion, lacking nothing. So all of the good things that I'm really actually wanting come through a lot of the time a trial of many kind, which means there's no light at the tunnel, which means surrender, which means casting my cares, which means I don't get the credit for what happens in the outcomes, which is what I want. That is why I hold on so tight.
00:22:30
Speaker 2: Yeah, No, I'm I'm like I and I and I like read those that was like James right, James Wall. Yeah, and so I like read those passages after one of the one of the most difficult times when I and and thankfully you know, I and like like again like you know, God, God knows what you what you need and will always will always.
00:22:47
Speaker 1: You know, meet you there.
00:22:48
Speaker 2: But it was it was, you know, the like the toughest like two days stretch of my entire being.
00:22:55
Speaker 1: I didn't eat for two days. It was just like it was just so bad.
00:22:59
Speaker 2: And I've never worshiped so hard. I've never prayed so hard. I've never just tried to get rid of that. I don't want to feel this. I want to be able to have like a meal, you know.
00:23:07
Speaker 1: And but it was through that.
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Speaker 2: I had no idea like legitimately miracles like you know, when it comes to you know, me being able to have my son full full time and stuff like that, that like just does not happen.
00:23:23
Speaker 1: But it was, it was.
00:23:24
Speaker 2: It was it was through those like trials, you know, And it was through those really really difficult, difficult times. And now I can now now I can read that. And it was like funny. When I started to read the New Testament, I was saying, I was doing that chapter a day.
00:23:34
Speaker 1: It's like, just open it up.
00:23:35
Speaker 2: The first book was James and all right, gome On, we'll start to start here, right, and it was and I was just like I was like, oh, I get it. I like get it now, you know, where like before i I'm like, oh that sounds that sounds nice, you know, but.
00:23:49
Speaker 3: Right, yeah, well and I just read this quote recently that was like your life is about is ten percent about what you go through in ninety percent how you respond to it, like your joy is that right? So it's just like responding in prayer, responding and not eating fasting right, responding and like, I can't handle this on my own, God take this from me.
00:24:09
Speaker 4: I think that's where the beauty is in it. And that's where so many people get it wrong because we.
00:24:13
Speaker 3: Do we do try to take it and we try to do it ourselves. And that's where most of us end up failing, is because we can't do this on our own. And I mean going through something as tough as this, of like making the decision to rip apart a family and say like this is not going to serve us, this is not how this is going to happen. And you're doing this not just for you but for the benefit of your son, and those decisions like you can't make that on your own.
00:24:42
Speaker 2: No, and like and crazy enough, I wasn't ever going to make it on my own because I didn't want those that like responsibility or to feel that like I don't know, guilt or whatever.
00:24:51
Speaker 1: And it's like it it.
00:24:54
Speaker 2: Needed to be made for me, you know, like it blew up in my face. And I wasn't really you know, I didn't really know how to prepare for that. And yeah, you know, and I feel like through this whole process to the last you know, a couple of years, I've I've reread like the end you know of like like Genesis and Joseph and all that story and and and just I think about, you know, like where I believe my career and the potential that I feel like, you know, I have and music and and all that stuff.
00:25:26
Speaker 1: And it's like just hearing.
00:25:27
Speaker 2: You know, Joseph's story of of of you know, how he went through the worst possible you know, scenarios over and over again, and it just was like he had there was no no end in sight. There was no light at the end of the tunnel. It took miracles at the end of the end of that exactly, and he didn't know what he was he was getting out, and it's and it's like, but God did right, And it's like and that's what you know, And I just keep just holding onto those those you know, Bible Bible like stories and and and continue to go back and like remind me myself. It's and it's like also Joseph was Joseph was thirty when he's when he started his his true purpose. Jesus was thirty when he started his true purpose. I'm twenty twenty five and I'm all worked up when I'm almost thirty now, but I was, you know at the time. I'm twenty six, twenty seven whatever, and I'm all worked up that I'm like, I should be bigger than I'm Like, do I think I'm I'm better than Jesus? You know what I'm saying, Like Jesus didn't start doing it because he needed those years to be to be to be formed and like come up with Joseph. Joseph also you know, And it's like and so and there's we could go through and there's i mean, every single person that we, you know, try to model our lives after had to go through those formative times. And so why do I think I'm any like different, you know, and not comparing what I'm you know, capable of doing.
00:26:40
Speaker 1: But it's just that's just how life is.
00:26:42
Speaker 5: And do we see it as kindness?
00:26:43
Speaker 6: So do we see it as like it's just this gauntlet that we have to like I look at Jacob, like the idea I went through a similar journey in the last year and a half, and the idea that God would pick a fight with me, Like when I look at Jacob's story, and he wrestled WithU, like literally God all night, and he wouldn't let go, And like, God picked a fight with me, not to hurt me, not to crush me, not so that I was disabled for the rest of my life with a limp. God picked a fight to win me, not to win the fight or crush me, to win my reliance, to win my trust, to win my need for him, which at the end of the day, that's the that's the whole point, and that's the dichotomy you don't get and the beautifully brutal part of Like I didn't see it from the other side looking in, but I see it now that God picked a fight with me out of love. And yes it hurt, and yes I wrestled and I couldn't figure it out and overcome, and He just wanted me to. He just wanted me to to let go of all the things that I was trying to hold myself. So yeah, it's beautiful and just encourage Like the wrestlers out there like just don't just don't let go of God. Don't give up on God. Like it sounds like you you're on the floor. You're not blaming him, getting angry at him. You're you're wrestling well, but you you are crying out and God did not abandon you in any way in the jail, in the in the midnight hour, and and it just look, you've got such a joy and a purpose and a man you're you're dialed as they say, yeah, you can feel and it's it's cool to see that.
00:28:23
Speaker 5: Man.
00:28:23
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I mean it like took it took a while, you know, and it's I was I was like listening to something on the way in, and it was, you know, like God because we it's like God is labeled as like angry or God's anger or this and that whatever. It's all the Old Testament, the wrath of God, and it's and it was like I was listening to this thing and it's like God is always like just he's always kind, he's always so he's only as angry as the sin is bad, you know. And it's like and so it's like just all you do you like think of all the like wraths of God throughout the you know, the Bible, and it's like you know, and it's and and so it's like it's like funny, like like like I just think about that too, about you know, being brought to your knees or whatever, and you feel like and I there's so many times I'm just in tears.
00:29:06
Speaker 1: Why why, like what did it?
00:29:07
Speaker 2: What did I I like try to be you know, when I was on this like journey and I felt like I was I was making making strides and I was like, I'm really feel like I'm becoming who I'm supposed to be. And then something else would happen and I'm like I feel like I'm trying to fight the good fight, like why you know, and then like you know, then it obviously reveals itself and it's like, Okay, I'm actually I'm actually grateful now that that that that that happened. But yeah, I don't I don't know, and just that that just made me think of it. Yeah, like God is God is only as like angry as the sin is bad. You know, the wrath is only as bad as the sin is bad.
00:29:37
Speaker 6: And it's from the angle of not like well you're going to pay for that now because you it's like, hey, I'm angry because the sin is bad because I love you and I'm trying to develop the man that you could to be.
00:29:49
Speaker 2: Like you're never attacking you as a person. It's attacking what's trying to influence you to whatever the whatever situation you're in. Like I wasn't when I was when I said I was falling off the way or whatever it was like, I wasn't. I wasn't walking with walking with God into those into those bars. You know, I'm like saying, like it's like so it's it's it's just that like core course correction and and and some people need a more dramatic course correction like I did.
00:30:14
Speaker 1: You know, like some people.
00:30:15
Speaker 2: Need to need a little bit of a little little bit more you know, knocking knocking down to finally get through their like head like okay, you know, like.
00:30:24
Speaker 1: If you like I don't, I don't. Yeah, I don't know.
00:30:27
Speaker 3: Well, And I feel like you being a father now, like you understand that more because you're like I'm not doing this son because I hate you, and because it's because I love you, and it's because I want what's best for you and I want to make sure that you're taking the right steps, or you're learning the right things, you're being raised well, you're doing all these things. And we've talked about it so many times, but it's just like being a parent really makes you understand God's love and why certain things happen. You're like, it's not because he has the wrath of God is upon me and he's trying to punish me. It's because he loves me, right, and because he wants what's best for me. So like if I take a step in the wrong direction, he's gonna be like.
00:31:05
Speaker 4: Right, Nope, nope, nope, go the other way.
00:31:06
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I just think about how much I love my kid, right, and it's like how much more does God love love me?
00:31:12
Speaker 5: You know?
00:31:12
Speaker 2: And it's that's that's like so unfathomable, and I don't There's like a lot of things we're not meant to understand, you know, and that's like kind of like one of them, because it's like, no, I there's nothing I wouldn't do for my son, you know. And I'm a human with limited, limited capabilities. Can you I can't even nobody can fathom what that really means, you know.
00:31:31
Speaker 4: It's it's beautiful.
00:31:32
Speaker 3: And I think just kind of to tie back into everything that we've been talking about, the breaking and all of this is just like you know, turmoil that we've been talking about going through. There's so much beauty in it because, like you said, you're gonna be in moments of your life where you're like riding the high.
00:31:47
Speaker 4: You're like, everything's.
00:31:47
Speaker 3: Great, there's gonna be another trial, there's gonna be something else. And being equipped, like you said, you're like, I've just read the whole New Testament. It's just like that's not you just reading, that's you equipping yourself for things that happen.
00:32:00
Speaker 4: And it's just like things are gonna happen and you're gonna you're gonna.
00:32:03
Speaker 3: Go back and you're gonna be like, oh, well, and Matthew had said this or you know what I mean, and you you you've equipped yourself to get through the trial and.
00:32:10
Speaker 2: Yes, and I think there's like an obedience to that too, where it's it's like I feel like I.
00:32:16
Speaker 1: And I'm and I'm like still still victim to it.
00:32:18
Speaker 2: The more the busier that I get, the you know, the less I I I'm like, oh, I'll I'll read my like devotional tonight and then well, tonight comes and the kids got got needs and I just catch up tomorrow morning.
00:32:29
Speaker 1: But it's it's like, you know, but.
00:32:31
Speaker 2: It's it's like, is is God at this moment holding me back from being busier because you're clearly not ready for that, because the second you get busy, you're gonna leave me on the shelf because you don't.
00:32:42
Speaker 1: You don't have time, right, you don't, you don't have time.
00:32:45
Speaker 2: Yeah, And so it's it's it's like those things too that I that I think about because I you know, I I'm better now than I was before, but this thing start that the second this thing started to look up and started to get better and I wasn't so upset and I felt great, It's like you, I feel like it's just natural to to. Maybe you don't. You don't like praise praise much. You don't, you don't read as much. You don't you know, maybe you like still do your heart's still in the good place, but you don't. You don't set that time aside because before you needed it, you needed it to get through the day. At least I did, right.
00:33:16
Speaker 5: That's all he wants exactly. That's actually all he wants. And it's like we just want it when we need.
00:33:21
Speaker 2: It, right, praise praise me when times are great, and praise me when times are bad.
00:33:25
Speaker 1: It's like because I'm good always, you know.
00:33:27
Speaker 2: And so I that's that's something just you know, honestly that I that I like still am so try to be so mindful of and I'm and I'm I'm not like great at it as things are better and you don't need it to get through your day as you did before when things were bad. It's like, are you still going to make that? Make make that time?
00:33:43
Speaker 1: You know?
00:33:43
Speaker 2: And and so I try to hold myself accountable with that by you know, I do my like devotional. I'm doing the like chapter day, but I also do my like daily daily devotional, and I try to post it on my Instagram story because I've so many people come up to me and they're like, hey, like like that means so much to me that you that you do that. But also like I look forward to it daily when I get to when I get to work, I look for it. I read it and I'm in and it like hit me like this this might be the only access they have to the word that like day and that's what that's a that's like a heavy like responsibility for me, and that's what keeps me honest, you know, and I try to, you know, try to try to keep on that every day because I know people are kind of depending on that, and if I let that slide.
00:34:27
Speaker 1: Then people are going to slide. And so yeah, I don't, I don't know.
00:34:31
Speaker 2: That's just another thing I was just I was just thinking about too, that is kind of difficult to to keep on as things getting better.
00:34:37
Speaker 3: And I love that too, Like even in a daily devotional how sometimes you'll read it and you'll be like, whoa, this is reading my mail, Like this is exactly what I needed to hear. And it's funny because the one you posted this morning, John twelve forty six is that I have come come as a light into the world, that whoever believes in me shall not abide in darkness. And I mean, it's what we're talking about here about how you know, like God doesn't want to you know, on us and make us, you know, hate ourselves. He wants us to be better and he wants us to be in the light. You know, he wants us to believe in him and cast our cares upon him and.
00:35:09
Speaker 4: Abide in him.
00:35:10
Speaker 3: And that through a devotional or through listening to this podcast, or through you know, reading your Bible, going to church, all these things, like that's all he wants from us.
00:35:20
Speaker 4: He just wants time. Yeah, And that's.
00:35:23
Speaker 1: And like and and like, how how else do you see that?
00:35:26
Speaker 5: Then?
00:35:26
Speaker 2: If you see a miracle work in your own life, you can only see that if you see something that there's no light at the end, right, and you're like how how And then then it happens. You're like, there's no way this could have happened other than God, exactly right, So good?
00:35:39
Speaker 6: How has this affected those seasons that your songwriting? Like, you know, I think about the most notable songwriter in the Bible, David read a lot of his stuff, just reading some forty yesterday and it was like, dude, like a lot of a lot of travail, you know, a lot of victory, a lot of crime. Like there's a lot of the Midnight Hour and Psalms. One of the greatest songwriters of all the time, who, by the way, has a heart after God more than you know anyone that I read in scripture and so how is it influence your songwriting? You know, do you feel a noticeable difference? Is it something?
00:36:19
Speaker 1: Yeah?
00:36:19
Speaker 2: No, I mean I i'd definitely feel more like I guess we're responsibility and what I say and and you know, my wife even checks me on it too, and which is like great. We were kind of talking about this like before, about how you know there is it's marriage is so great when you know you're both religed on the same things. You're you're you're here for the same mission and and you know behind every you know, great artist is a great great wife or home, you know, and it's like, but she like challenged me on it a lot, but I feel like there is so much more weight in what I'm saying and how I'm saying it now, and it's like, you know, like if if it's and I think it goes deeper than the writing and just kind of how I present myself just period, you know.
00:37:01
Speaker 1: And it's like I used to you know, probably I used to.
00:37:05
Speaker 5: I used to cuss a lot.
00:37:06
Speaker 2: Back, you know, back in like I say, twenty twenty twenty twenty one, I really that's that's that was my first sort of radical one to eighty where I was like, Uh, I used to justify it, right. I used to like justify it by saying, I'm not demeaning somebody. I'm not calling you a name. I'm just using it as like an adjective or flavor to what I'm what I'm what I'm saying. Right, But I'm like, if people heard me talk, would they know I'm a follower of Christ?
00:37:28
Speaker 1: No?
00:37:29
Speaker 2: No, they like wouldn't right because I'm I'm out here cussing like a sailor. But I try to defend it by saying, I'm not saying anything mean towards somebody. But I just realized then, like my words have weight. And if people hear me, they're gonna and I say, I'm a Christ follower and I'm whatever trying to preach something, and then they hear me talk like that, then they're gonna say, oh, well it must be it must be fine, you know. And so I think it It is my like writing, and there is there has been a change there in my mindset, but just generally how I speak and how I talk to people or about people or just present myself period. But there has been such a such a call I feel like in my life to to incorporate my faith more. And I'm still sort of traversing those waters. I feel like it's it's something that like I'm trying to navigate because you know, I do align myself so much like being a country music artist. But like I do feel like there's a time in the very you know, near future where I do just put out like a CCM project just because that's kind of passionately like where I'm at at the moment. I feel like in today's age that's okay because people consume music in such a different way. But you know, but it is I just want to, you know, try to live that example. You know that I want the people around me to you know, And and I've even noticed this when with with my own friends. You know, it's like I don't I don't cuss, and now they don't when they're like like around me, you know, it's I don't like tell them not not to. It's just that sort of like example. And and I feel like me trying to model as closely in that regard to like like Jesus would do. You know, we always use what would Jesus do? Right, But it's like truly, you know, it's it's it's like and it's like, oh, well, Jesus hung out with tax collectors and centers and this and that whatever, and it's like, well, they kind of hang out hung out with him, but also like they they were so inspired by how he conducted him himself that they wanted to make a radical change. And so it's like I kind of that's That's like kind of the way too, is is like we don't I don't.
00:39:25
Speaker 1: I don't have to.
00:39:27
Speaker 2: I just challenge myself not to not to write about, you know, things that might get a lot of clicks, even though you know it. It's because it's it isn't necessarily who I want to sort of align myself with. But but again, my like wife's gonna listen to this, and she we both know what song we're we're like thinking of I have like a like song that I just recorded recently, and everybody in my in my camp is like, this could be your biggest one, like this is great, and it's like but again, it like alludes to something that maybe isn't so you know, and I'm trying to like I'm like wrestling with that too, because it's like it's such a mental hurdle for me because I'm like, why would why would God give me this song? Because it is songwriting is so divine? Well how do we think of what we think of and how do we make it work and how does it come out to this product? Like that's like pleasant to listen to. It is such a divine thing. And I pray before every every every single rite, you know, and I'm like, please, like because I can't think of the stuff. I'm not like smart enough for that, you know. And it's and so I am. I am wrestling with it, you know, and I'm like it it like does allude to stuff it's not super christ like you know, and it's and so yeah, I don't.
00:40:31
Speaker 1: I don't don't.
00:40:32
Speaker 2: I think just in long and short to answer your great question, I do recognize the weight of what I'm saying and how I present myself and and that is on my mind every time I go in the writing room.
00:40:41
Speaker 6: Thought just really, as you're saying that may be helpful, but like, yeah, as I read the Bible, like not everything in it is context of yeah, you need to apply this like wine makes you merry and money is everything Ecclesiastes like, so it's like, yeah, okay, sick.
00:41:01
Speaker 5: Let's get drunk and make a lot of money.
00:41:03
Speaker 1: Yeah, because that's happiness and purpose.
00:41:06
Speaker 6: And so you know, at the end of the day, I think that it's not. In fact, a lot of the Bible is lessons of what not to do. Like I see it, and I was like a man but Sheba on the roof top, like it's kind of like that's what David did, Like he's a man after God's own heart.
00:41:25
Speaker 5: Obviously, we keep reading and we realize I don't want to.
00:41:27
Speaker 6: Loosely connect it, but I do believe that there are things that God gives us as modern parables, not just you know, this is the perfect standard and we have to sing about the standard every time. But it's also like, hey, this is the real stuff that anyway, I don't know what it alludes to. So I'm dancing around trying to make a body language and I'm missing it.
00:41:46
Speaker 2: So yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I just I just think it's it's it's like, yeah, it's just it's just one of those one of those things where it's it's like, you know, I'm a married Christian man, I shouldn't be alluding to somebody coming over for like fleeing, you know, and so and I'm like, I'm like trying to like justify I'm like, well, it doesn't like just like doesn't say it. You can kind of like you know, maybe think think it does, but it doesn't like it, you know, come out and say. And she was like, stop trying to like defend this and justify this. And I'm like but then I'm like, I'm just I'm just I just wrestle with it so.
00:42:15
Speaker 1: Much because one of the boys, right, oh no, no, it's.
00:42:18
Speaker 4: No, it's just because then you're the friend that's like.
00:42:20
Speaker 1: Yeah, sure it is.
00:42:21
Speaker 2: It is more of a like makeup song, and it's a breakup song, you know what I'm saying. It's more of like a you know, let's re kindle this old thing. And so yeah, it's just but I just feel like, you know, just answering your question, I feel like I just recognize the weight in like what I say and how I present myself, and like there are people that which is so crazy to think because I'm just like a normal dude that just happens to do a different job than somebody else. But like people do look up to me for for things you know, whatever it is, and they like see the trials that you were sort of mentioning earlier, and like they look at that for like strength and like Okay, he's done it, you know, and and they can hear that, hear how hard it was through the songs that I that I wrote because of those those like times, and people do look up to me. And it's crazy to think about, but it's true, and I've got to recognize that and cherish that.
00:43:06
Speaker 3: Wait, you know, well, I also want to just point this out because I feel like, if this is any just encouragement for you, because the conviction that you're feeling and the convictions that you're expressing right now.
00:43:18
Speaker 4: They're just real.
00:43:19
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know.
00:43:20
Speaker 3: And it's not even just in an artist perspective, but even in my industry, like being in radio and being you know, at like all these events and stuff like country music is like, let's get drunk, let's have a good time, let's do all these things right.
00:43:33
Speaker 4: And I'm always the like one that's just not really down to like stay out till too in the morning.
00:43:38
Speaker 3: I like want to leave early, Like I just want to go home to my family, and I just want to you know, cussing is something that we've talked about on the podcast before where like the Lord really convicted of me that, yeah, you know, pretty recently it was like clean it up, Like, if you're going to be doing this podcast talking about me, people can't be seeing you out in the world being like like.
00:43:58
Speaker 4: Clean it up, you know.
00:43:59
Speaker 3: And so these are real things and real wrestles that like not just you are dealing with. There's probably people in the world that are sitting next to somebody in a cubicle that is just you know, and they probably just go right along with them.
00:44:12
Speaker 4: But then they're feeling like, well, do they even know that I'm a.
00:44:14
Speaker 3: Christian or not saying you can't cuss if you're a Christian? But you know what I mean, like what's different about me? Like I want to be set apart. I want to feel different. So like all of this is so real that, especially in the music industry, there's so many temptations.
00:44:30
Speaker 4: There's so many Oh that's fine, don't worry about it, Like it'll be okay.
00:44:33
Speaker 3: But like what a beautiful thing to like be walking so closely with the Lord that he's just like are you sure about that?
00:44:40
Speaker 5: I love it? You said Jesus hung out with sinners is always the justification.
00:44:44
Speaker 1: But you'll sinner hung out with Jesus.
00:44:46
Speaker 6: Your little correction that I don't want to be just like miss skipped over is no, no, no. The prostitutes, the taxki found him, They found him, and they followed him. And the question is who's leading who in the in those context, And that's what I think is like when I'm evaluating a friendship an environment, it's like who's leading who, who's influencing who? And I want to be the one that those people want to hang out not man, I'm just trying to fit in. So I'm going to smoke this cigarette and do like it's a little time. What's wrong with the cigarette? Nothing really, but like it also a little indicators like that that people of who's following who?
00:45:23
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I feel like the most impactful thing too, is like I don't like I'll be at these like events at bars and I'll and I'll you know, my wife and I'll go out to dinner or whatever, and but it's it's it's not about me trying to shove something down somebody's throat. And it's like if my if my friends are cussed and I'm like, oh gosh, that's not Christian Like, even though every everybody's everybody's a christ Follower that I work with, and they all came up in this in a CCM world or play at church or whatever the situation is, and I'm never once trying to shove something down their throat. I think it's most important to just be a good representation of the and other people will just naturally follow follow suit. It's like, it isn't my job to try to like judge somebody or try to you know, be that like conviction or whatever.
00:46:09
Speaker 1: I just like, I'm just.
00:46:11
Speaker 2: Doing what I'm doing, and like hopefully, you know, I can be of influence to somebody else to maybe want to sort of walk in that same path, because I'm not like perfect by any means, you know, and I definitely wasn't in the past. But like, I'm trying to do the best I can now. And I feel like that's been something that I've noticed just in my like close like circle, you know that when when when I'm when I'm with you know, close buddies of mine, I can I just notice their change. I'm like, I'm like, okay, good, you know that I'm like glad that that they care enough to make those changes. But also like, like my goal of like living you know, as as closely to this walk as I can is you know, kind of like working out, you know, it's inspiring so good.
00:46:50
Speaker 3: And then like convictions in general, I was just it just came to mind about like, you know, cussing is one of them, drinking, you know, doing whatever, and it's just like people will have these misconceptions of like, oh, well, oh you're you're one of those Christians, so you don't drink right, you don't do this right, and you're like, no, I'll have a drink every once in a while. But my conviction of not wanting to drink is because alcoholism runs in my family. Like I'm not trying to be that girl.
00:47:12
Speaker 5: You know.
00:47:12
Speaker 2: Yeah, well my like my like my like, yeah conviction and not wanting to get drunk is because when I do bad, I'm not I nothing nothing good happens, right, nothing good happens that like the like decisions that I make or not not great, they're not what I would do normally, you know. And so it's it's like I've really been mindful as I've gotten older, too, of like not letting that slip slip away, and and like and yeah, like having having a couple of drinks to me is not it doesn't cause any issues. But it's when I get to three, four or five that's when things start going down downhill fast, right, And so but I just know that about my about myself, and the Bible talks so many times about being sober, sober minded or not not getting drunk, and there's like reasons behind that. It's not just it's not just because because God didn't want you to have have have fun. It's because you're you're decision making and who you become, you know. And I'm always I've experienced, you know, not like personally, but I've I've lived through, you know, seeing how alcohol affects people and being like this is like the gateway to the devil, like straight up and and seeing that third third person, I'm like, yeah, that's not something that I want to be involved in at the slightest, you know.
00:48:18
Speaker 1: But I think too convictions.
00:48:20
Speaker 2: It's like funny because there was so many things and you know when I was younger that I wasn't convicted by and when you know, my I feel like I did my like wife and I talked about talked about this when we first started dating. I was like, I feel like I did things so wrong for so many years when it came to like relationships, you know, like the child out of wedlock and all those things that when my wife and I started dating, I think I think it's very similar. I was trying to I was like talking to her about this. I was like, I think it's like similar to like if you were put on this earth to be a like soccer player, right, and that.
00:48:53
Speaker 1: Was your like gift.
00:48:55
Speaker 2: You were gifted, and you go play baseball and you and you like suck, like your dad's like, oh whatever, he's not, he's not. He's not like a baseball player. But once you started, once you pick up the soccer ball, it's like, Okay, we're gonna dial this in, we're gonna do it right. And it's like I feel like that was kind of like how it like was when I started dating my now like wife. God was like, you're gonna do this right, Like you know, you've like allowed you to mess up, mess up before because I knew that that that wasn't where you were like.
00:49:16
Speaker 1: Supposed to be.
00:49:16
Speaker 2: But now that you're here, You're gonna do this right. And I was so powerfully convicted for the first time in a like a like relationship to do everything like buy the book. Not because I felt like I needed to earn like God's love or to have a great relationship. I was like so sick to my stomach to not do it, you know, and so whoops knocking things over, but I've But then so my like wife and I could now be you know, we could have that like testimony to our like friends and be like, hey, like we're pretty cool. And we waited waited till marriage and we didn't live together. We you know, we we kept our kept our boundaries, you know this and that whatever. And it's like you don't have to be lame to do that. That's not something that's like weird and like oh timing, like we're present, we're doing it, you know, a great perspective.
00:50:05
Speaker 6: Yeah, And it's it's the I love this so much, I'm sick to my stomach not to do it right and just do it well. Not like I'm a bad I'm going to be a good person. It's like I love this, this is this matters, This matters, and so I'm.
00:50:19
Speaker 2: Going to treat it like it matters. It like it like hit me like a ton of bricks. When we when we first started dating almost like we're I feel like God was just telling me like this this like does matter. This is this is as like real as you like think it is, and you're gonna do it right? Yeah, you know, because now we can we we we can be that like Christ centered couple that that isn't just you know, performative, like like we can really have that testimony and try to you know, motivate friends of ours or whatever, or younger kids in the future, whatever the situation is, that that this is possible in today's world, even though the world tells you it is, and that like.
00:50:57
Speaker 6: Especially when you made mistakes, and that's why haven't been people have a testimony, have a pass, have made mistakes, to make to do the right thing because it matters. That's huge, And I think a lot of people don't do that. Yeah, a lot of people are like, well it doesn't matter anymore and the truth is so yeah yeah, And I was just like, you know, and then then people cop flak for the born again virgin thing, and people like troll them like I hear it, and I'm like, dude, that's so demonic, Like.
00:51:22
Speaker 1: Yeah, but like yeah, it's like who what what are we talking about?
00:51:26
Speaker 6: But it's so obvious, but at the same time it is really people struggle with this silently. People struggle with it silently and were like, wow, it does it really matter? So like I've already compromised, but like to have that reset and be like, no, no, it matters. And it's not out of just striving, but it's out of really a deep love and that it matters. And I can't reiterate. Man, that's so such a cool inspiring People need to reset. People need to understand grace is to empower you. Even though I've been weak, now I'm strong in the boasting of the weakness of that testimony. But now I can be strong in this area and matters and I'm going to be the best dang soker player out here.
00:52:03
Speaker 2: Right, No, right, but like because that's what that's what this, Yeah, that like matters. And I feel like we we like see those see those times so many we see that happened so many times throughout the Bible where there have been which we like talked about, like everybody that's that is this notable figure that we look look up to and that we read about.
00:52:19
Speaker 1: Like they've all had that.
00:52:20
Speaker 2: Like moment of change where they've had to let go of what happened in the past to fulfill that purpose that's to like come you like we talk about Moses, right or he's he's out here killing people and now he's now he's literally like leading an entire group of people out of so you know, I'm saying, like there's such a greater purpose you have to let let that go.
00:52:39
Speaker 1: Do you not carry the burdens of yesterday to God?
00:52:43
Speaker 4: Will bitterly use anyone, even anyone?
00:52:47
Speaker 6: It's often the case, that's the crazy thing. It's often it's actually often the case it's like, well but what about Paul, Oh yeah, the same.
00:52:55
Speaker 2: Yeah right, It's it's like, yeah, well, speaking of speaking of Paul, Like I'm I'm my wife and I are going to Rome on Wednesday, and like I'm so excited to go, which is dark, but I'm excited to go to like the like prison where Paul was captain. I'm excited to go to St. Saint Paul's Basilica or what you know, like the church where he you know was like.
00:53:14
Speaker 1: Buried and and just see.
00:53:16
Speaker 2: Like because if you know, you read about these things and when I feel like seeing these actual you know, where he wrote he wrote two Timothy in the prison that is next to the Roman Roman Forum, and it's like reading through that, it's like, okay, cool, Like Paul was in a in a prison and he's writ into his buddy, you know whatever. It's like, oh, that's that's where the prison and that hole right there is where the chains were and that, you know, and some I'm really excited to go, you know, just really take to take take that in, you know.
00:53:42
Speaker 4: Ways to hear all about it.
00:53:43
Speaker 1: Yeah, awesome.
00:53:44
Speaker 3: Okay, So as we wrap up today, you're sitting here, you're married, you're raising a son, you're making music, you're genuinely happy. Now, what would you say to somebody listening who feels like their story is just broken beyond repair, they can't get out of this pit that they're in. Just advice that you give them from that spot that you used to be in.
00:54:02
Speaker 1: That's a that is a that's a heavy, heavy thing.
00:54:05
Speaker 5: No.
00:54:05
Speaker 2: I just I just feel like what really helped me in those really dark moments I kind of touched on it earlier, you know, but I'm going to reiterate it just so everybody everybody gets it right, is that like I felt like there was nowhere else to go, there was nothing else that I could do on my own. I needed to relinquish that, and like we talked about, cast that off. It was such a such a like sort of violent thing, right. It was just I was so upset and I'm like, just take it, like, please take it, because I can't. I can't do this, I can't deal with this. And it was the moment that I feel like I relinquished that and cast all my like and anxieties and and and all that like heartache onto the Lord was when things began to open up and get lighter and get better. And it's like, even if my situation wasn't better necessarily, I felt lighter and it was this weird like it's kind of like it was. It was very odd to me because I feel like that time for me was like kind of like when.
00:55:06
Speaker 1: I got baptized for the first time.
00:55:08
Speaker 2: It was just weird, like, oh my gosh, I feel lighter, like you know when you're filled with the Holy Spirit with the first time, and I did it at such a late age that like I remember the difference in how I felt and just the like conviction for the first time and like being like, oh my gosh, Like it's like my eyes were open, which is so crazy because before then I was kind of like, you know, you hear about it and you're like okay, cool, and then you live and you're like, oh okay, like you know, and that's kind of how it was.
00:55:29
Speaker 1: Again.
00:55:29
Speaker 2: I feel like my eyes were just open and I would just sort of like was walking in this new life again, which is very odd.
00:55:36
Speaker 1: But it was just that like very powerful.
00:55:39
Speaker 2: Prayer and and just diving into the Word every day because I needed it to make it through and I needed to have that hope.
00:55:46
Speaker 1: And it really refined my faith too.
00:55:48
Speaker 2: And that's what I feel like those moments are for right is to and and is just to really hone that faith in and that's where you're like faith faith is built is in those in those really really tough moments.
00:55:59
Speaker 1: So I don't know if I csarily answer the question, but that's sort.
00:56:01
Speaker 2: Of just a like, you know, a little a little bit of a testimony to how I got through those moments.
00:56:05
Speaker 3: Absolutely, and we always end the podcast with Prayer. So there's something in your life right now, how can we pray for you?
00:56:11
Speaker 2: Oh, man gosh, I like think just yeah, I just prayer for my son has autism. And that's been something that's been so beautiful because it is such a unique situation and I feel like I'm so close to him because of it. But it is it does come with like challenges, and so I feel like there's always I'm always open for prayer for that if anybody's uh, you know, looking looking for something new to pray about, but that I feel like, you know, just just to you know, keeping my marriage happy and happy and healthy. And then obviously you know, country country music is a pretty hard you know, place to place to be. But I just you know, pray that you know that I could be more bold with my faith and situations that aren't like this where it's so.
00:56:54
Speaker 4: Welcoming, you know, for sure, what's your son's name?
00:56:56
Speaker 1: As sure?
00:56:58
Speaker 5: Ye really happy and blissed?
00:57:01
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, he is, he's and and it's like you know, when I when I I'm like hesitant. I haven't really talked about it much publicly about the like autism things.
00:57:09
Speaker 1: People are like, oh, I'm sorry, it's like, don't be sorry, dude, like he is.
00:57:13
Speaker 2: I much prefer him and his like demeanor over what a you know, whatever normal whatever situation would be. He's he doing backflips off the off the couch, you know, he's not like running around breaking things like you know in this crazy, spastic, hyper you know boys phase.
00:57:27
Speaker 1: But you know, it is, it is, It is such a beautiful thing.
00:57:30
Speaker 2: But I mean it obviously does come come us some like challenges that we're constantly working through and and I and I know when one day he's gonna be perfectly you know, fine, but it's still a lot as a parent.
00:57:40
Speaker 5: Some duro divergence. It's a specialty. Yeah, they're just looking for the context.
00:57:44
Speaker 1: For it exactly.
00:57:45
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know he's he's gonna he's gonna do do something crazy.
00:57:48
Speaker 1: He's you can just tell. The wheels are always turning and that, and that kid said.
00:57:51
Speaker 4: What's your wife's name?
00:57:52
Speaker 1: Anna?
00:57:52
Speaker 4: Anna?
00:57:53
Speaker 2: Yeah, she's awesome, And then all of our I know, we were like we already have like kids names picked out for like future kids, you know, of fit to fit the vibe, you know, but uh.
00:58:02
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, naming kids is a whole other topic. We got to talk about because we cannot pick a name for this next day.
00:58:08
Speaker 4: It's so hard.
00:58:09
Speaker 6: I love naming kids. We did the same thing and we had like a whole thing. There's an actual like a it's it's a Tinder kind of that's yeah. It's like right, what it's like a tender mechanism where you swipe left and right on names as a couple and you kind of match up.
00:58:25
Speaker 1: Oh that's cool.
00:58:26
Speaker 6: So it's like, so you go, you get fed names and you just can and swipe and you find your matches of like, we both like this, and so then that helped you can help you, all right.
00:58:34
Speaker 4: I'm gonna pray us out after the podcast.
00:58:38
Speaker 3: Heavenly Father, Lord, we just say thank you for this platform to be able to talk about you, God, and we just are so grateful for Chase and his testimony and his willingness to share it. And we're just praying over Asher. We pray over his mind and his body. God, and we're just praying over Chase and Anna as they navigate being parents of someone with autism. God, that you would just equip them with the tools that they need to uh to just to just be the best parents that they can be God, and we just we pray over Asher and we just we just call his body whole.
00:59:07
Speaker 4: And healed in Jesus' name right now.
00:59:09
Speaker 3: God, we just we pray over him and we just ask you to to just work out in his mind any of the rewiring that needs to be rewired. God, and we just ask you to, uh to just fill him with your love and continue to give Chase and Anna the tools that they need to just be the best parents.
00:59:25
Speaker 4: That they can be. We pray over their marriage.
00:59:27
Speaker 3: We pray over them as a unit, God, that they would just hold each other up and hold each other accountable.
00:59:32
Speaker 4: And just Chase in his career.
00:59:34
Speaker 3: God, we we ask that you keep him bold in his faith within not just the country music space, but just music in general. God, continue to just give him those little nudges whenever he needs a conviction God, and that he would hear you loud and clear when you say yes, when you say no, when you say I trust you to make the decision.
00:59:53
Speaker 5: God.
00:59:53
Speaker 3: We just uh, we just asked that you just open Chase his ears to be able to hear your voice clearly, and we just thank you for what's to come for Chase and his career.
01:00:01
Speaker 4: And his family and future babies in Jesus' name
01:00:04
Speaker 1: A man Amen, Thank you, M.