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There’s something you keep coming back to: a city, a business, a first appointment, the email you’ve avoided since spring. You’ve explained why it can’t happen for you so many times that the explanation started to sound like wisdom.
In this conversation, Annie F. Downs and I talk about the difference between fear and wisdom, why so many of the nos we live by never came from real evidence, and what it looks like to keep moving when you feel uncertain, discouraged, and not at all sure how the story ends.
If you’ve been telling yourself no for years without ever finding out whether the no is real, this conversation can help you question that no and keep moving forward.
What You'll Learn in This Episode:
- Why the fear that feels like wisdom is usually just fear, and how community helps you tell the difference
- How to move past the "I could never" story by researching step one instead of panicking about step ten
- What it looks like to keep going, or "plod," when you're discouraged, uncertain, or being criticized
- Why building anything worthwhile takes a healthy relationship with uncertainty, not certainty
- How faith reframes the whole thing: you can't break a woman who gets her strength from God
Timestamps:
(02:34) — The painting at the Met and the moment she realized "you are not a portrait yet"
(08:38) — The lie about herself that died while she was writing
(11:09) — Alli's one regret, and Annie's reminder that "there's a yes available"
(13:52) — The seven-year sabbatical, and why going quiet isn't the same as being forgotten
(15:55) — How New York changed her: stop saying no without doing the research
(18:37) — The Craigslist desk, the fourth-floor walk-up, and "I can do hard things"
(21:22) — When fear starts sounding like wisdom
(24:51) — Is your fear chemical or spiritual? Why she says talk to your doctor
(25:57) — The thing you're afraid of is step ten. Find step one.
(28:13) — Where the title came from: a Broadway run-through and the 1% who didn't stop
(31:44) — Getting called a hack in 2008, and being discouraged without stopping
(34:07) — Plodding, the armor of God, and "when you've done everything to stand, stand"
(36:57) — Building companies and making peace with uncertainty
(38:43) — The one thing she wants you to remember: just try
(39:35) — Fun questions: Enneagram, Ella Langley, The Pit, and a Trader Joe's find
(44:47) — Why you need this book: the world needs you living wide open
Links to great things we discussed:
- Annie's new book: Don't Let That Hold You Back
- That Sounds Fun Podcast
- Annie’s Music Recommendation: Dandelion
- Annie’s TV Recommendations: The Pitt, Ted Lasso, & The Dink
- Trader Joe's Dewy Skin Serum, Marula Facial Oil, & Marula Oil Cream Cleanser
- Function Health
- Uplift App
- Join me on Substack: Wise Woman Method
- Alli on YouTube
I hope you loved this episode! 🎉Don’t forget to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts and Spotify so you never miss a thing. And guess what? We're on YouTube! If you're loving the content, show us some love by leaving a review and giving us some stars. It means the world to me! Take care, and stay fabulous!
xo,
Alli
