406th Floor One Habit Can Change Everything

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Somebody from the way put some joint.
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Make a difference.
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Come on, shoot the bones.
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Come on every little happiness be home.
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Hey, it is Jen the Building.
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And Corey.
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And welcome everyone to this ride.
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Yes.
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Enjoy yourself because this is going to be uh another incredible ride that we will explore some slightly different nuances.
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You know what I mean, Jen?
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Absolutely.
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Just to give you an inside scoop of what you can expect today, Corey, because we're on Take the Elevator, it's where we're placing everyone on positive levels every day.
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Give them the topic.
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So today's topic is one habit, one decision, one life-changing ripple effect.
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What if we change one bad habit that we have that we've been doing or a pattern we've created that has altered our lives for the bad or for the negative?
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And we just took that one little ingredient or element out of our lives and changed everything.
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Powerful.
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I love that we're going to talk about something small that can have a surprisingly long reach, right?
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Changing that one habit.
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But before we jump into that, Corey, I know that you've got some really happy news to share with us.
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Indeed, I do, Jen.
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So, you know, we are children's book authors, if you didn't know, and we've been at this since 2013.
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And well, it actually started a little bit sooner than that.
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However, uh 2016 uh 13 is when the first official ruffles came out.
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And then a few years later, we re-released that independently, and now we have fast-forwarded to book number six.
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Ruby Bumblebee.
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Ruby Bumblebee.
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That is our new uh, I don't want to call it baby, but it's our it's our new creation that we've uh created and had a blast doing so, and it's such a lovely, wonderful story for uh the little ones, and the the little girls are really gonna resonate with this book.
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It has a lot of um really good things for how how would you say it, Jen?
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I think it's cute.
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It's it's cute.
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I think it speaks to um more of the dynamics of the forest and the importance of nurturing and caring for your community.
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Yes.
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With with bees being pollinators and uh being a part of that beginning life cycle for so many different elements that are in the in the nature in the natural wild, uh, it it just gives that feeling of something being birthed, something being brought forward, something being taken care of very well.
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And so, yeah, I'm excited about it.
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Jen, how are you feeling about this book?
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The theme of bringing things forward is powerful, and here's why it's Filipino American History Month.
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And in case you didn't already know, our new illustrator is a young woman, Filipino woman, Rika.
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And she's such a pleasure to work with.
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I'm excited to introduce her and include her on the team.
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Absolutely, and so yeah, I'm uh it's gonna be fire.
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It's gonna be fire.
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And and I I know you said what you said as far as being Filipino Month, but I I mean I can't not mention our plushie makers.
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We have such an amazing team of people working with us, and it's been a joy because um if you can imagine starting from scratch, having absolutely nothing, and then building the having a team of people with you, it's blowing my mind, Jen.
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I'm I'm just so like not feeling in my own body right now because I'm I literally have people I can call and say, Hey, I need this done.
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Hey, can we move this forward a little bit?
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Even to our printer, it's it's just amazing.
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Yeah, we're so grateful to have a team.
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Even sitting in our podcast room, I think I've shared some pictures on my Instagram.
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If you're not following, please do.
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I'd love to have more friends on there, Jen the Builder underscore elevate.
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And so I have pictures of us in here sometimes.
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And even just looking around the room, you could see the different iterations of ruffles and the artwork that's come alive.
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And I'm looking, I'm I feel like I'm sitting in a museum where I'm seeing where it started back in 2013, fast forward to 2026.
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And it's like 13 years and six books.
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That the 13 years has been a journey, it's been one of challenge, of facing trials, of overcoming insecurities, of figuring out how to work together, trusting the process, waiting for the right team members.
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It's been a whole thing.
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And I love that in our last few episodes we've been talking about the training, and it's been training for 13 years, and we're all about it.
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Yeah.
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So let's jump into this episode, yes.
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Uh, I'm excited about it.
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I know you are too.
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I've seen your face light up when you begin to read the notes.
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So here we go.
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What if changing one bad habit could transform your relationships, finance, health, career, and even the way you see your own person, your yourself?
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Why that speaks to me is this uh it's one small thing.
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One thing.
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And here's the thing people right now are overwhelmed.
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Yeah, there's a lot of turbulent moments, a lot of uncertainty, weird weather, you know, that one thing can really just tip you off the edge.
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Yeah.
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I think one small habit, and we're not saying that a bad habit makes you a bad person.
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It's a behavior that you have that has impact.
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And I I am excited to unpack this because I for me, I need to talk about the one small bad habit I have and the big impact it has.
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Yes, same.
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And and our I know our little bad habits are different, yeah, but it it has the same ripple effect when it begins to negatively affect you.
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Yeah.
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For me, it starts with my self-talk, and I'll start with a bad habit that I'd love to work out during this episode and continue the journey after the episode.
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Sure.
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So one of the things that I've done is first my self-talk says this is just who I am.
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It's how I've done things.
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Wow.
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It's worked for me, right?
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And when I think about how I process things, because my upbringing, me being the oldest and things moving quickly and supporting my mom and my brother and sister, and just figuring all that out, I'm used to processing super fast.
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Then that goes into case management.
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And I think that's why I've been successful there.
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And it's not a habit, though, that pertains to areas in my life because here it is, things come my way, and I'll summarize it in a hot second.
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Think I've got it down, the learning's done, and I move on to the next thing.
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So the bad habit there is that the ripple effects is I'm not exploring who I am in all this.
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I'm not talking about my feelings, I'm not stopping for that brief moment to say, how is this impacting me?
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What do I really think about this?
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Am I just going through the motions?
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How can I make this meaningful?
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So there's no reflection.
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Wow.
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It's just reaction, no reflection.
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And that's the habit I need to focus on.
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It's small, yeah.
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Right?
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Yeah.
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And it's it's map, it's it's masked.
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Right.
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It's like it seems like it's something good.
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Yeah, I don't want you to go too into it.
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I I'm excited.
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Can you tell?
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I can definitely tell, but I really don't want you to go too deep into it because we're gonna unpack a lot of this and come to some conclusions really, really quick.
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And I just want to roll mine out a little bit, and I promise I won't go too deep.
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And the only reason why I'm promising is because you know as well as the listeners know, once you start talking about things that you're really dealing with, that's when you find out how much you're really dealing with.
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Oh man, there is I don't want to call it magic because it's not by happen chance.
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Happen stance, happen stance, thank you.
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There's something transformational that happens when you spend time and talk about it.
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Yes, and you begin to just uh emotionally vomit so much that is going on inside.
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So here's my my one bad habit that I'd like to change, and I know it would do wonders for my life.
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I would like to stop being so emotionally invested in things and people I cannot change.
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And it has an awful ripple effect when I realize it's not changing, they're not changing.
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So I that I just wanted to unpack that.
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Okay, and it's a lot.
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So would you consider that a small habit?
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No, okay.
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So it's it's a it's a combo, and the reason why it is is because it can be a big like issue if you just get stuck, but I know it's lingering and I haven't just eliminated it.
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And once I eliminate it, I know how small this issue really can be.
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Okay, well, I can't wait to unpack it and learn more about it.
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Sure, absolutely.
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So again, we're just gonna double back a little bit.
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You don't gotta change everything.
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Oh, I'm sorry.
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Can I pause you for a second?
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Sure, sure.
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Everyone who's listening, the invite to you right now from us is start to think of a small, bad habit that you have, and let's work this out together in real time.
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In real time.
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So, like I said, this is not changing everything.
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You're not coming up with a new meal plan, a new diet routine, a new workout routine.
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You're just changing one small thing, and you're gonna watch how it develops over the course of time and really begin to change and alter your life.
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I love this concept, Jen.
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I love it because we've seen it before, we've done it before, we've had these moments in our lives before where we've done these little small tweaks, and what we come to realize is that life is different now from that one thing being removed, and it's encouraging when you think I can do it one thing at a time, opposed to I have this mountain of opportunities, as the professional world says, Yes, to change so much.
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Yeah, we get in the danger of doing too much, aiming for perfection when everything is about small pieces, small practices, and understanding its progress.
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Yeah.
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So the ultimate question what is one bad habit in your life that if you changed it today could make everything else in your life a little bit better.
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Or a whole lot better.
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So you've identified that, Jen.
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And now I want you to speak on it and give us a little more context to the the issue that that you brought forth.
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Yeah.
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So we can reverse engineer this or however we want to do this.
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But when I think of the habit that I identified, and again, it's the quick response, the no time for reflection just to get her done, right?
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The impact that it has masked, I need to say this because sometimes we don't realize it's a bad habit because it feels productive, it feels effective.
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And this is why I need to build a habit to stay in it and say, like, is it really that?
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Is it really what I think?
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Because the impact not only is on myself, but on you and people that I'm in relationship with.
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Right.
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Right.
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So, what was the question again?
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What's the impact?
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So, yeah, what's the impact?
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But let's just because I what I just realized, I've come to a realization in real time that people may not be able to uh address or identify what a little bad habit could be.
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And maybe you're you're overreaching and thinking something way astronomical.
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And so I'm gonna just throw a few things out there so people can get a better understanding.
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You're always late.
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So you you're procrastinating.
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Yeah, you have a bad temper.
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Oh, we're considering that a small bad habit.
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So you're on the freeway and someone cuts you off, and instead of you going, Okay, that was that was a bad move, and I should have just let that go.
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You go into road rage, you're yelling and screaming.
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Yeah, so let's make that the small bad habit.
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Let's go even more micro because we don't want it to feel too big if this is too much on anyone.
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I love that, Corey.
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You get on the road and you you realize like you're getting upset at drivers around you.
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Yeah, and the honest truth of the matter is, and and if you let me be real when I say this, everyone will have to say, all right, you got me.
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Everyone that's ever driven a car has made a bad decision that's made someone else upset.
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Oh, yeah, like you've been the bad driver.
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You've been the bad driver at some point in time, maybe unintentionally, but we all have uh got that reaction from someone sure.
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A high percentage is definitely unintentional.
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Yes.
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That's but the the little bit of percentage is very intentional, and there in is the example of your bad habits.
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Maybe you're a bad driver, has impact and you don't see the impact.
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That's the thing.
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Wow, like people are experiencing you, you are experiencing your body is experiencing you.
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So when you're in a 10-step situation and you get to choose not to be, you could choose to say, you know what?
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I'm gonna get to where I'm gonna get to in the time I'm supposed to.
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Right, right, safe and sound, guilty, yeah.
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Very guilty of that one.
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But you're putting so much on your body at the start of the day if you're driving to work, right?
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Or at the end of the day when you should be relaxing and calming down.
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Yeah, yeah.
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Anyways, I love the example.
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Anymore?
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Um, not that good with money.
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Um poor choices.
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Um, you go into the store, and this is what they tell us.
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They tell us never go into the store when you're hungry.
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But you go in the store and you're starving.
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And so everything that's there's the bad habits.
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There's the bad habits.
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And that poor spending let's go micro.
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You buy stuff at the impulse aisles as you're waiting to be seen at the cashier.
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Jen, please describe to us what an impulse aisle is.
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It's it's such major trickery, and I fall for the oaky doke so many times.
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So this is where you're shopping, and as you're in line, Home Goods does it, Target.
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I mean, all stores do it because it's a quick sale.
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So while you're waiting, you're looking around and like, ooh, there's that lip glass.
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Oh, I need that, or oh, isn't that a cute mug?
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Because you don't already have a hundred mugs at home, right?
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Right.
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But you don't have that one.
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You don't have that one, just the impulse.
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Yeah.
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So, Jen, before we move, I gotta ask this question because this is the thing that's just like at the back of my mind, beating, trying to come out.
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What if what if you have that individual, and I've been there, guilty of this too, that says, that's just who I am.
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You know what?
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Ugh, go ahead.
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I'm sorry.
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I I I don't mean to get mad.
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I don't mean to to to blow up or to have this moment, I don't mean to impulse by, but that's just who I am.
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Yeah.
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How dangerous is that place to be?
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We miss out.
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We miss out on growth, we miss miss out on the learning, yeah, on hearing ourselves, hearing people, because that just shuts it down.
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There's no possibilities, there's no openness to what it could be.
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You've given yourself the perfect excuse to continue the bad behavior, the bad habit, and now no one can check you, no one can tell you, and and you won't even tell yourself because you've convinced yourself with that statement.
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Yeah, this is just that you're not able to change.
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Yeah, and what we're saying is you're so way worth more than that.
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You are so capable of the change.
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I hear this too from a lot of people in coaching sessions that I have.
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I wish my life was different.
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I wish prayers were answered in this.
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A great question here is am I willing to make the change necessary so I can fish my wish?
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Right.
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Right?
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Yeah.
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Well one more thing about that is when a person identifies himself and as a personality type, I'm just not like that.
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I'm just yeah, or I'm I'm extrovert.
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Yeah, you're gonna have to excuse that.
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Sorry, that makes you feel uncomfortable.
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Sorry, I'm too much energy, but I'm an extrovert.
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Um I'm an introvert.
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So I I just need to I don't share.
00:18:53.440 --> 00:18:55.359
I just need to be by myself sometimes.
00:18:55.440 --> 00:19:00.480
And right now, I'm I'm not getting enough uh personal time, so I'm gonna step away.
00:19:00.720 --> 00:19:02.079
Yeah, and no judgment.
00:19:02.160 --> 00:19:02.799
That's a real thing.
00:19:03.200 --> 00:19:03.680
That's a real thing.
00:19:03.839 --> 00:19:11.440
But when that starts becoming your crutch in life, the reason why you don't do things, the reason why you hold yourself back, that's what we're talking about.
00:19:11.519 --> 00:19:14.079
Because it's not about who you are, right?
00:19:14.400 --> 00:19:28.000
It's about the behaviors that come out and keep you from growing, from choosing a path that's gonna open up and that where you get to take treasures with you because you're learning so much about yourself.
00:19:28.160 --> 00:19:33.440
I'm learning this wisdom, I've picked up that value because of this experience in this story.
00:19:33.599 --> 00:19:35.039
You miss out on that.
00:19:35.279 --> 00:19:42.880
And there's so much, and then so if you find yourself stuck in a rut, like here I am again, I'm experiencing the same issues.
00:19:43.200 --> 00:19:47.279
Stop to think, when it what do I need to do differently?
00:19:47.599 --> 00:19:48.240
Right, right.
00:19:48.480 --> 00:19:48.799
Right?
00:19:48.960 --> 00:19:58.000
Yeah, and so I'm gonna ask the the ultimate question that I asked you, but I'm going to answer it first so it doesn't seem like I'm uh attacking you, Jen.
00:19:58.160 --> 00:20:02.319
Uh that's not the point or the purpose, and definitely not for the listener.
00:20:02.559 --> 00:20:04.559
I don't want anyone to feel attacked.
00:20:04.640 --> 00:20:07.920
So if anyone's gonna be attacked by this question, it's gonna be me.
00:20:08.160 --> 00:20:11.839
Why do people defend their bad habits instead of correcting them?
00:20:13.119 --> 00:20:23.440
And that's an ouch moment because you have to really look inside and figure out why I Corey has to say, why don't you correct this?
00:20:23.599 --> 00:20:30.960
Why why do you get so emotionally why why are your emotions so tied up in things that you can't change?
00:20:31.599 --> 00:20:35.200
Why can't you just let this go and move on?
00:20:35.680 --> 00:20:46.640
It would save so much energy, it would it would give you peace of mind to know that you did everything in your power to change you and to make you the best you you you can be.
00:20:47.519 --> 00:20:52.640
Correct this, change this, grow up, put your big boy pants on, and move on.
00:20:54.079 --> 00:20:55.279
Why do we do this?
00:20:55.440 --> 00:21:07.359
So the what I've come to, Jen, is that we always have this thing going on in our minds of a perfect world.
00:21:08.240 --> 00:21:20.240
We have a perfect space, a perfect mom and dad, a perfect brother and sister, a perfect job, and it's just not true, it's not real, it doesn't really exist to have a perfect anything.
00:21:20.880 --> 00:21:31.440
And so if I get stuck there, it's because I've I've been in fantasy land just a little bit too much with the perfection that cannot be provided or even found.
00:21:32.160 --> 00:21:34.240
And that's my personal issue.
00:21:34.480 --> 00:21:49.039
So I need to let the perfection thing go and move into reality and allow myself to emotionally regulate opposed to getting so involved in what if if they did this, if if they would just do this, if that would just change.
00:21:49.440 --> 00:21:59.519
Yeah, and I think that's the important thing too, is we're talking about changing that bad habit, whether it be releasing, replacing, yeah, whatever that is.
00:22:00.400 --> 00:22:04.000
Is you can't change other people.
00:22:04.319 --> 00:22:05.039
No, you cannot.
00:22:05.279 --> 00:22:10.640
And I know that's not a new um profound statement.
00:22:12.160 --> 00:22:18.400
And sometimes we continue to live life as if we can, as if the hope is for other people to change.
00:22:18.720 --> 00:22:21.440
Because, you know, I've got this down.
00:22:21.599 --> 00:22:24.000
Like there's I'm not doing anything.
00:22:24.400 --> 00:22:35.279
Um to answer your question about why people get defensive from my perspective, when I've been questioned about a habit, right?
00:22:36.240 --> 00:22:45.200
It challenges me because I feel like you're attacking who I am, because I'm associating me with that habit.
00:22:45.599 --> 00:22:58.160
And this is why it's important that I go deep and I stay in this space for a moment, because my behavior doesn't define me, it gives me an opportunity to change this.
00:22:58.319 --> 00:23:00.880
So I'll give you an example.
00:23:03.200 --> 00:23:19.359
In relationship with you, Corey, you're talking to me, and I have been in the habit of cutting you off because I have something to say, or cutting you off maybe because you're taking too long, and because my habit is get to the point.
00:23:19.440 --> 00:23:22.480
Let's do this one-line summary and move on, right?
00:23:24.559 --> 00:23:28.480
That in turn impacts you in a major, major way.
00:23:28.559 --> 00:23:33.680
So when you tell me, you know, when you do that, this is how it makes me feel.
00:23:33.839 --> 00:23:35.599
I don't have bad intentions.
00:23:35.839 --> 00:23:36.480
I don't.
00:23:36.640 --> 00:23:50.480
My the reason for that bad habit is maybe I'm excited and I just want to let you know I'm here with you and I get it, and I care about you so much, like all that stuff that you're worried about other people.
00:23:50.640 --> 00:23:51.759
You can't change that.
00:23:51.920 --> 00:23:52.880
Like, let's move on.
00:23:52.960 --> 00:23:54.880
This isn't healthy for you, you see.
00:23:55.039 --> 00:23:55.680
Yeah.
00:23:56.480 --> 00:24:05.279
But I haven't given you the space, given you the trust and the autonomy and the confidence in yourself to be able to work this out.
00:24:05.440 --> 00:24:05.680
Yeah.
00:24:05.920 --> 00:24:10.000
I'm going into solution, and that's not what you need.
00:24:10.160 --> 00:24:15.599
And that's the habit, too, that I can invite is Corey, what do you need from me right now?
00:24:15.759 --> 00:24:17.599
Is it a listening space?
00:24:17.759 --> 00:24:19.279
Do you want advice?
00:24:19.519 --> 00:24:22.400
Like what do you need?
00:24:22.640 --> 00:24:23.680
Because that's empathy.
00:24:23.759 --> 00:24:36.720
And that's what I really want to do here and say is that as we're changing, recognizing our bad habits and working on changing that small bad habit, awareness is key.
00:24:36.960 --> 00:24:38.400
We become aware.
00:24:38.640 --> 00:24:41.359
And the way we become aware is in self-reflection.
00:24:41.440 --> 00:24:47.200
It's also asking the other person, hey Corey, when we talked the other day, how did you experience me?
00:24:47.359 --> 00:24:49.440
Because at the end of the day, people experience you.
00:24:49.680 --> 00:24:50.559
Wow, Jen.
00:24:50.640 --> 00:24:57.119
So you just cracked a nut that uh a lot of people really don't attempt to even look at.
00:24:57.359 --> 00:25:01.759
Um, these are these are streets and pathways that we refuse to go down.
00:25:02.000 --> 00:25:06.319
We don't double back and see how we showed up affect other people.
00:25:06.559 --> 00:25:12.720
We don't, we don't uh, and it's hard to say because we just don't want to do this.
00:25:12.880 --> 00:25:15.759
We don't want to know how someone thought we came off.
00:25:16.000 --> 00:25:16.240
Right.
00:25:16.480 --> 00:25:20.079
And this because our tendency is to get defensive, right?
00:25:20.400 --> 00:25:23.279
Even when we know we we came the wrong way.
00:25:23.519 --> 00:25:25.920
We've said some things that you know just should not have been.
00:25:26.240 --> 00:25:27.119
Or we blame Mike.
00:25:27.279 --> 00:25:32.480
Well, I wouldn't have reacted that way, and you know this about me, but then you went ahead and did that anyways.
00:25:32.720 --> 00:25:34.240
You know how I am.
00:25:35.519 --> 00:25:36.000
Right.
00:25:36.240 --> 00:25:39.839
That's the danger of the this is who I am, you know who I am.
00:25:40.079 --> 00:25:40.319
Right.
00:25:40.480 --> 00:25:48.160
Well, there's a difference between accepting who you are and accepting the bet uh uh behaviors that prevent sure who you're who you're becoming to be.
00:25:48.319 --> 00:25:50.319
Yeah, huge difference, right?
00:25:50.720 --> 00:25:55.200
So Jen, I've I've asked, I've I've danced around this question.
00:25:55.680 --> 00:26:07.039
I I want you to explain your your bad habit that you're trying to either address or get rid of and how that's affected you.
00:26:07.440 --> 00:26:07.839
Yeah.
00:26:08.079 --> 00:26:14.799
So again, my bad habit is the not taking the time to explore more.
00:26:15.519 --> 00:26:18.400
Instead, I'm trying to get there quickly.
00:26:18.720 --> 00:26:19.039
Okay.
00:26:21.200 --> 00:26:25.440
I need to change that because I miss out on my own growth opportunities.
00:26:25.759 --> 00:26:31.519
And honestly, I'm not spending time on taking care of myself when I do that.
00:26:31.680 --> 00:26:39.680
And that's been something that's been a mantra in my life, if you will, where I'm taking care of everyone else and not taking care of me.
00:26:39.839 --> 00:26:52.079
And I just, you know, we were in scripture today, and I saw that my savior prayed for himself first before he prayed for his disciples.
00:26:52.319 --> 00:26:54.559
And I that was just so profound to me.
00:26:54.720 --> 00:27:02.319
And you know, I that's the beautiful thing about reading the Bible, is things become new to you, the things that you read over and over.
00:27:02.640 --> 00:27:06.480
And I just thought he role modeled that.
00:27:07.920 --> 00:27:13.359
Why am I not spending time in my learning, in my discoveries?
00:27:14.960 --> 00:27:22.319
Because that's going to make me more impactful as a speaker, as a coach, as a wife, as a mom, friend, cousin, auntie.
00:27:22.400 --> 00:27:23.440
You know what I mean?
00:27:23.759 --> 00:27:28.720
And the same way we said earlier that you're worth this, you're worth a change.
00:27:28.880 --> 00:27:29.759
So am I.
00:27:30.079 --> 00:27:31.039
So am I.
00:27:31.440 --> 00:27:38.480
So the impact that it would have is I wouldn't have to keep going back to the same lessons.
00:27:38.960 --> 00:27:53.920
I wouldn't, I'm not going to, I'm not, wouldn't, I'm not going to mask or lessen the learn and what people are bringing to me and what I'm bringing to myself.
00:27:54.079 --> 00:27:54.400
Yeah.
00:27:54.559 --> 00:27:56.720
The ripple effect on that is huge.
00:27:56.880 --> 00:27:57.200
Yeah.
00:27:57.440 --> 00:27:58.079
Huge.
00:27:58.400 --> 00:28:02.880
I feel that there's going to be growth that I've never experienced before.
00:28:03.119 --> 00:28:05.200
My relationships are going to be tighter.
00:28:05.359 --> 00:28:23.039
People are going to felt seen, heard, and valued because I'm being so intentional about what you're bringing me, what I'm bringing me, and spending time in it so I can take the treasures that I need from it, celebrate those moments, enjoy it, and continue life.
00:28:23.279 --> 00:28:24.319
Absolutely, Jan.
00:28:24.400 --> 00:28:36.000
And what I feel is you've brought a whole nother level to the habit that you've been dealing with for I don't know how long you've been dealing with this.
00:28:36.160 --> 00:28:44.559
But what I also think is that uh we both put out some really heavy, uh deep.
00:28:45.759 --> 00:28:48.160
And I want to I want to go back up to the surface.
00:28:48.240 --> 00:28:50.240
We we went down below the surface a little bit.
00:28:50.319 --> 00:28:51.599
Let's go up for air.
00:28:51.759 --> 00:28:52.880
Let's come up for a little air.
00:28:53.119 --> 00:28:53.440
I like that.
00:28:53.680 --> 00:29:09.279
I want to talk about uh two habits that cost, but they're not what those habits that affect your life in such a way that it's uh as deep as what where we just went.
00:29:09.519 --> 00:29:12.960
So I have to say that word cost.
00:29:14.000 --> 00:29:16.799
Oh, see, because now I'm practicing my new habit.
00:29:16.960 --> 00:29:25.200
Okay, we say these words, and just the thought of that my bad habit costs me something.
00:29:25.440 --> 00:29:28.480
Yeah, everything has a price, good hat, yes.
00:29:29.440 --> 00:29:30.640
So decide.
00:29:31.759 --> 00:29:35.440
I need to decide the price I'm paying.
00:29:35.599 --> 00:29:36.000
Yeah.
00:29:36.160 --> 00:29:36.480
Right?
00:29:36.720 --> 00:29:39.200
Yeah, and I love the return on investment.
00:29:39.359 --> 00:29:42.319
I want to see like amazing return on investment.
00:29:42.480 --> 00:29:42.720
Uh oh.
00:29:42.960 --> 00:29:46.880
So, anyways, I'm just saying, good word, good for us to digest.
00:29:47.119 --> 00:29:47.839
Absolutely.
00:29:48.000 --> 00:29:55.039
So, two little bad habits that cost us greatly being late, procrastination.
00:29:55.359 --> 00:29:58.880
And I know this resonates with a lot of people.
00:29:59.599 --> 00:30:03.599
Being late, procrastination.
00:30:03.920 --> 00:30:05.039
Is that the same thing?
00:30:05.359 --> 00:30:06.319
What's the difference?
00:30:06.640 --> 00:30:13.200
So being late, okay, um, you may just start late, which is procrastination.
00:30:13.519 --> 00:30:19.599
But sometimes if you're leaving late, it's not because you were waiting.
00:30:19.759 --> 00:30:27.599
Sometimes if you're clocking in late, it's because you thought that you had time to stop and get that coffee.
00:30:27.759 --> 00:30:29.839
That's not procrastinating to get to work.
00:30:29.920 --> 00:30:34.160
That's oh, I just I'll I'll be in the line for a hot second and I'll get out.
00:30:34.240 --> 00:30:36.559
And but we didn't plan that properly.
00:30:36.640 --> 00:30:48.079
And then it begins to cost us because going to work late on a regular basis causes and cost tremendously.
00:30:48.240 --> 00:30:49.440
It costs you your job.
00:30:49.680 --> 00:30:56.960
It costs a hefty price, yeah, or your career, yeah, your reputation, your personality.
00:30:57.680 --> 00:31:01.680
Everything is on the line from this one health on your body, yeah.
00:31:01.920 --> 00:31:05.920
Because that's just being a constant state of fight.
00:31:06.400 --> 00:31:06.720
Yeah.
00:31:06.960 --> 00:31:11.519
You're fighting to make it on time, you're fighting to get somewhere, and procrastinating.
00:31:11.599 --> 00:31:13.200
You know, I'm guilty of this.
00:31:13.359 --> 00:31:19.359
I could be getting dressed, but I'm just sitting, I'm scrolling, I'm watching something on the side.
00:31:19.519 --> 00:31:20.960
There's that bad habit.
00:31:21.119 --> 00:31:21.440
Yeah.
00:31:21.599 --> 00:31:22.480
The scroll.
00:31:22.720 --> 00:31:26.559
And and and so we can go oh yeah, endless on this.
00:31:26.880 --> 00:31:31.440
But it it's those simple little things, and I don't want to stay there for a long time.
00:31:31.599 --> 00:31:40.640
Yeah, but it's those simple little things that end up costing us greatly and dearly, and we're not able to just put a simple stop to it.
00:31:40.720 --> 00:31:45.359
But if we did, imagine being early to work every single day.
00:31:45.519 --> 00:31:49.599
And I'm not even gonna go into a career job that that you work for someone else.
00:31:49.680 --> 00:31:56.079
I'm talking about somewhere where you've created wealth, you've created uh entrepreneurship.
00:31:56.319 --> 00:32:00.799
If you would just stop doing the little thing that was slowing you down.
00:32:01.039 --> 00:32:01.680
Yeah.
00:32:02.079 --> 00:32:09.279
As you were talking, this really spoke to me, Corinne helped me because I am reflecting on my habit.
00:32:09.440 --> 00:32:13.839
It is quite big, and I want this to be something doable for me.
00:32:14.000 --> 00:32:16.880
Because sometimes when we go too big, we kind of give up on the thing.
00:32:16.960 --> 00:32:18.720
It's like, oh, it's too much, right?
00:32:19.440 --> 00:32:27.839
So when I have a moment and I'm like, oh, this is it, I'm going to ask, what else is there?
00:32:28.240 --> 00:32:32.160
That's gonna be my fix on my bad habit.
00:32:32.319 --> 00:32:32.559
Right.
00:32:32.799 --> 00:32:36.000
Instead of keep moving, what else could there be?
00:32:36.160 --> 00:32:40.079
And be okay with let me not close this circle yet.
00:32:40.319 --> 00:32:44.640
Let me keep this circle open for a moment and see what else is there.
00:32:44.880 --> 00:32:45.200
Yeah.
00:32:45.440 --> 00:32:52.480
Jen, I'm gonna ask you a question, and I know you don't have an opportunity to really think, think about this.
00:32:53.119 --> 00:32:57.839
No, you this is part of it, this is our standard work.
00:32:57.920 --> 00:33:01.440
We Corey throws in a question that I'm not prepared for.
00:33:02.000 --> 00:33:04.160
But I have to because I get it.
00:33:04.400 --> 00:33:14.160
What I want to do is I want to provoke thought, and I want the people listening to go into that deep place of thought themselves.
00:33:14.240 --> 00:33:17.839
And so, what better opportunity than to use the present time?
00:33:18.000 --> 00:33:19.680
Yes, here's the question.
00:33:20.799 --> 00:33:25.680
What bad habit do you think most people commonly overlook?
00:33:26.880 --> 00:33:28.400
Oh my goodness.
00:33:31.039 --> 00:33:33.440
Bad habit they overlook.
00:33:37.279 --> 00:33:40.160
Let's talk this out because there's a few things.
00:33:41.759 --> 00:33:50.000
I think people in general, not everyone, but we can overlook the good in a bad situation.
00:33:52.160 --> 00:33:56.480
Um can can I can can I throw us a couple of things out there?
00:33:56.720 --> 00:33:57.440
Wait, I'm yes.
00:33:57.680 --> 00:33:58.400
Oh no, no, no, go ahead.
00:33:58.480 --> 00:33:58.640
Go ahead.
00:33:58.799 --> 00:34:00.079
Oh, I was like, No, go ahead.
00:34:00.319 --> 00:34:02.240
Uh bad not enough sleep.
00:34:02.720 --> 00:34:03.039
Okay.
00:34:03.599 --> 00:34:09.599
Um sleeping in could be a bad habit.
00:34:09.679 --> 00:34:12.000
So smacking that snooze button.
00:34:12.480 --> 00:34:12.960
Yeah.
00:34:13.199 --> 00:34:15.440
But I'm gonna say not getting enough sleep.
00:34:15.519 --> 00:34:16.880
That seems to be a trend.
00:34:17.039 --> 00:34:18.159
What do you have?
00:34:18.559 --> 00:34:22.960
Um I I'll go a little bit deep first out.
00:34:23.360 --> 00:34:27.599
I mean, you're you're doing amazingly in your career.
00:34:27.760 --> 00:34:32.480
Like you are boss babing, boss duding, the whole career thing.
00:34:32.639 --> 00:34:39.679
You show up on time, you you put in your eight, eight and a half, sometimes nine hours a day, maybe even a little bit on the weekend.
00:34:39.760 --> 00:34:42.639
You're just handling it, right?
00:34:44.320 --> 00:34:54.880
But your personal life is in turmoil, it's a wreck, it's it's in shambles, and home doesn't get any attention.
00:34:55.599 --> 00:35:02.639
That that's a a habit that I've seen repetitively in the professional world where one's the imbalance.
00:35:02.800 --> 00:35:04.639
Yeah, the unbalance is insane.
00:35:05.119 --> 00:35:13.760
One thing looks so amazing, so together, so perfect, and the and the other thing just looks like what the heck happened here?
00:35:13.840 --> 00:35:16.480
Sure, it's a tornado, it's a disaster zone.
00:35:16.719 --> 00:35:18.159
Yeah, I can see that.
00:35:20.159 --> 00:35:27.760
That saddens my heart if that's the state of most people, and I'm open to that that possibility.
00:35:28.000 --> 00:35:36.480
I thought where you were gonna go is we do all this great stuff and we still exercise negative self-talk.
00:35:36.800 --> 00:35:38.239
We can go there, yeah.
00:35:38.559 --> 00:35:39.599
Yeah, okay.
00:35:39.840 --> 00:35:50.320
Um, and and and to piggyback off of that, uh that that's one of the quirks that are well, it creates a bad habit.
00:35:50.880 --> 00:35:58.239
The quirk is um everything sounds good, but then there's a a negative back.
00:35:58.800 --> 00:35:59.360
Yeah.
00:35:59.599 --> 00:36:01.920
There's negative talk behind the back.
00:36:02.320 --> 00:36:03.440
Self-talk, yeah.
00:36:03.679 --> 00:36:07.280
I want to say something in case we miss this, Corey, because it's so important.
00:36:07.440 --> 00:36:07.920
Sure.
00:36:08.239 --> 00:36:11.360
Uh Corey and I are big advocates.
00:36:11.519 --> 00:36:16.880
You know, as we talk about this space, we know in no way our therapists.
00:36:17.039 --> 00:36:22.880
So if something has come up for you and you need to talk to someone professionally, please do that.
00:36:23.199 --> 00:36:24.480
Yeah, absolutely.
00:36:24.880 --> 00:36:27.360
Uh and I'm so glad you went there, Jane.
00:36:27.440 --> 00:36:37.280
And I just had this conversation with a co-worker because um she heard uh an episode that um we had put out okay with uh Crystal.
00:36:37.599 --> 00:36:40.880
And um she was asking me how did we handle that?
00:36:40.960 --> 00:36:42.079
How do we deal with that?
00:36:42.239 --> 00:36:48.400
And I I explained to her that in the past we had other podcasts that went way off the rails.
00:36:48.559 --> 00:36:52.960
There were topics that we were not equipped to handle or to address.
00:36:53.119 --> 00:37:01.679
And so that's where we started putting in our our warning and our precursor to what our professional backgrounds are and what they are definitely not.
00:37:01.840 --> 00:37:16.960
So, yes, if anything has triggered you or made you feel any kind of way, or you think, you know what, this has really pissed me off, then it's time to go talk to someone and get the help that that will solve that.
00:37:17.679 --> 00:37:20.079
I'm not downplaying that emotion either.
00:37:20.239 --> 00:37:32.960
No, and I also um know that in our uncomfortability, I mean something's surfacing, and we honor that, and people need different levels of support.
00:37:33.199 --> 00:37:42.079
Sometimes just listening in on a podcast can and you journaling or talking to a friend, your support is huge on this.
00:37:42.239 --> 00:37:45.440
Who is your support as we're going through life?
00:37:45.599 --> 00:37:49.599
It's important who that you know who and what your helpers are.
00:37:49.760 --> 00:37:50.000
Yeah.
00:37:50.159 --> 00:37:59.360
So, Jen, before we wrap up, you know, it's important to go out on a positive note, it's important to reaffirm something good you've done.
00:37:59.599 --> 00:38:03.519
So let's let's, as you say, reverse engineer this thing.
00:38:03.840 --> 00:38:08.239
What one bad habit did you used to have that you have removed?
00:38:08.480 --> 00:38:11.840
Oh goodness, and you see the positive results.
00:38:14.880 --> 00:38:17.679
I'm gonna stick to what we've talked about.
00:38:17.920 --> 00:38:24.800
Corey, when you'd bring stuff to me, I would get on the defensive and it would just be a full-on argument.
00:38:25.679 --> 00:38:33.599
The bad habit I had was just the knee-jerk reaction and response.
00:38:34.239 --> 00:38:39.119
Um, and how I've changed that is I've just taken breaths.
00:38:39.360 --> 00:38:41.840
I've said and I've had a self-talk.
00:38:42.159 --> 00:38:43.440
This isn't personal.
00:38:44.239 --> 00:38:48.400
This is not personal, it probably has nothing to do with you.
00:38:48.719 --> 00:38:50.800
And and you've said that to me out loud.
00:38:50.960 --> 00:38:53.920
Like, this didn't have anything to do with you.
00:38:54.159 --> 00:38:55.679
This is everything to do with me.
00:38:55.920 --> 00:38:56.559
Yeah.
00:38:57.199 --> 00:38:59.039
All right, and that's been a game changer.
00:38:59.119 --> 00:39:00.960
Well, you tell me, how has it impacted you?
00:39:01.039 --> 00:39:02.079
Speaking of Ripple officials.
00:39:02.320 --> 00:39:06.480
I was just about to tell you, um, it's been incredible.
00:39:06.719 --> 00:39:22.559
Uh, I'll say it like this conversations have been able to go much deeper, and much uh more has been brought from those conversations so that uh we cover a whole lot more ground.
00:39:22.800 --> 00:39:38.400
We don't, as a couple, as couples or even as friends, we don't realize how deep we need to go from time to time because we just don't know how long things have been festering, how long we that the other party has been thinking about it and dealing with it.
00:39:38.559 --> 00:39:44.159
So if they brought it to you, that means it's been in their minds, on their hearts for quite some time.
00:39:44.400 --> 00:39:49.039
And a lot of people don't just hear something once and just snap.
00:39:49.360 --> 00:39:52.239
They they they take it in, they're like, wow, that really affected me.
00:39:52.320 --> 00:39:54.320
That hurt my feelings, that made me feel this way.
00:39:54.480 --> 00:39:56.559
And then they go get advice from someone.
00:39:56.800 --> 00:40:08.079
Hey, if this were to happen to you, and so there's there's this thing that's building, and so when they feel comfortable enough to bring it to the person, if it's just a wham, you you feel awkward about it.
00:40:08.239 --> 00:40:21.199
So I I know for a fact that uh it's changed our dynamic uh a whole lot, and I'm just grateful that you know, many years ago is when this change happened, and so thank you.
00:40:22.480 --> 00:40:33.679
Uh, I'm gonna address one of mine that I know has been uh completely night and day for not just myself, but for you as well.
00:40:33.920 --> 00:40:41.039
And the bad habit I changed was I stopped drinking, and I want to be crystal clear when I say this.
00:40:41.199 --> 00:40:51.360
A lot of people think stop drinking means that you have a drink on the weekend or you socially drink, or you might have a drink when you know it's a celebration or a wedding or something like that.
00:40:51.599 --> 00:41:02.880
I I do not drink, period, full stop, and when I did that, my life changed night and day.
00:41:03.119 --> 00:41:23.280
I I went from a hurricane five, uh tornado uh level five, which is the finger of God ripping through the countryside to complete and total peace in the matter of a few months, just removing that habit from my life.
00:41:23.519 --> 00:41:50.079
And so I I sit here and I don't condemn anyone who drinks, and I don't I can go to a bar, I've I've played in bars, I've played in clubs, I've played at the House of Blues, I played at um uh Hard Rock Cafe, the Viper Room, there's alcohol all around me, but I made a conscious decision to say this is something I'm never doing again.
00:41:50.239 --> 00:41:52.639
And people always, well, never say never.
00:41:52.880 --> 00:42:08.559
This is something I'm never doing again, and I have complete and total conscious control over what I do and what I don't do, and so yeah, Jen, that that's what and so I'm gonna ask you, how has that affected you?
00:42:09.360 --> 00:42:11.199
It's kept our marriage together.
00:42:11.440 --> 00:42:12.559
Oh my gosh.
00:42:12.880 --> 00:42:18.159
Yep, yeah, that was that was very close to a breaking point.
00:42:20.000 --> 00:42:21.360
The love didn't change.
00:42:21.599 --> 00:42:33.519
No, my ability to stay in it and stay sane, you know, that was the challenge there.
00:42:35.599 --> 00:42:45.199
I was able to live life with an adult who is present, because when you were drinking, you weren't present.
00:42:45.519 --> 00:42:47.679
Or an adult, or an adult, yeah.
00:42:48.000 --> 00:42:50.320
Very irresponsible, very childish.
00:42:50.480 --> 00:42:52.239
Um it's been inspiring.
00:42:52.559 --> 00:43:13.119
It's been inspiring to see you healed, and that lets me know, and that's the beautiful thing about life, and yeah, we're talking about small habits that lead into huge impact or big habits that you break that change your life, and that I think that's the the point of this.
00:43:13.280 --> 00:43:25.840
Like you you learn, you grow, you take things with you, and it all adds up to the next thing that you face, you know?
00:43:26.559 --> 00:43:50.079
Yeah, and so I would like to put this out there if you want information or you want to know how I was able to change that bad habit, because I've realized that everyone um does not know how to change things that impact their lives in such a major way, and alcohol was one of those huge things that altered my life, altered me.
00:43:50.239 --> 00:44:03.920
And so, if you need understanding or help with that, I will definitely help and give you a little bit of what I went to resources and also point you into the right direction, which is uh resources.
00:44:04.400 --> 00:44:09.119
You are one decision away from a different direction of life.
00:44:09.440 --> 00:44:14.400
All you have to do is remove one bad habit.
00:44:17.679 --> 00:44:19.039
Yeah, yeah.
00:44:19.360 --> 00:44:20.000
That part.
00:44:21.599 --> 00:44:22.159
You know what?