WEBVTT
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[SPEAKER_01]: Hello, I'm here with a content creator and internet influencer, they've allowed, they've allowed them in here God, the book talks taking over the book festival, I don't know you're not book talk are you?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Are you paying me?
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[SPEAKER_01]: No.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I'm paying you with my company.
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[SPEAKER_01]: My time and my attention.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I don't have enough for you.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I don't take exposure.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Go.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Go.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But I like to help people out and if this helps you.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I had enough of you.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I know you need the help so it's fine.
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[SPEAKER_01]: All right.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Let's just let you wrap it up.
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[SPEAKER_01]: This is wrap it up right now.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, I hope you know that I'm going to edit this so that it seems like you are the aggressor.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
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[SPEAKER_01]: You are the next race to Cresson on my poor.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I'm here.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I weed by you into my community.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It's my community black community.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And the first thing, yes, I did.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Me personally.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, good.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I used all of them.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, me.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It's all me.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, they don't want to.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I saw this.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You show up at 11 a.m. Love.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Eat a pizza.
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[SPEAKER_01]: A.m.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Exactly.
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[SPEAKER_00]: A.m. Yeah, we were all here at 10.
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[SPEAKER_01]: All right.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Actually, I didn't even think you showed up at 11 a.m.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I think you showed up at 12.
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[SPEAKER_00]: OK.
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[SPEAKER_01]: But why are journeys the same?
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[SPEAKER_01]: Why are journeys meant to be the same?
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[SPEAKER_01]: I walked a path.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Might have a different mother.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Have a different father.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I'm here now.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I did.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Do you not want to talk about my other stuff?
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[SPEAKER_00]: I love that you managed to take it though.
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[SPEAKER_01]: We not even introduced you.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Who are you?
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[SPEAKER_00]: My name's Kayla.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Kayla.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Wait, can we find you online?
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[SPEAKER_01]: Kayla Shanti actually I've always wanted to ask you was how'd you get into that how'd you get into content creation and to do and things on the internet?
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[SPEAKER_00]: I've just always loved making videos and I don't wouldn't say I'm a content creator because I've really got like 600 people on my Instagram and most of them on my friends but it is something that I want to do and I actually only started taking seriously this year and I do a UGC which is kind of a it's a job in content but I wouldn't say
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[SPEAKER_00]: You just use a generated content so I make videos for brands like say a skincare brand and we'll send me their product and I make a video that they can use on their social media.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Not online because I'm not an influencer.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm a model.
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[SPEAKER_00]: The thing is I was born with this beautiful face and I can market it and people want to use it and it's not my fault.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Opportunities are on the table.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, exactly.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I mean that these things don't have that experience but you don't live through me.
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[SPEAKER_00]: This is those are your words, not mine.
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[SPEAKER_01]: But you meant for me.
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[SPEAKER_00]: No one is ugly, everyone's beautiful.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Everyone has it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Everyone can get into you just see because it's about people and all the different people that are going to use this product.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Mm-hmm.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But I want to get into my own content that is fun and fulfilling and helps people to think about stuff and is reflective.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Reflective?
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[SPEAKER_01]: It's different.
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[SPEAKER_01]: We reflect.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It's not deflective.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It feels like you're being a bit like a woman.
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[SPEAKER_00]: This is so intense with microphone.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It has a little troll doll moment or no.
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[SPEAKER_01]: This is why I kind of like him.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, no, I kind of... Just feeling posing.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I like seeing it so much.
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[SPEAKER_01]: tickling my nose about the thing, so I mean we did discover we went on a date back, so I thought it was a date, why, what part of me is creeped to you?
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[SPEAKER_01]: I had a sexual lover, what part of it?
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[SPEAKER_00]: You know what?
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[SPEAKER_01]: My legs are crossing the same direction as yours already.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But I don't have the best taste in men, and I thought I'd try something different.
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[SPEAKER_01]: What do you mean about your style?
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's like, wow, this guy is funny, you.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And is in my career, so we would have met organically, IRL.
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[SPEAKER_01]: This could be it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to make all the effort to invite him for a coffee.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to make none.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You're gonna make, but you did show up.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You did show up.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You seemed really excited at the end of it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So you were like, oh my God.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I was drugged out of my mind.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Were you?
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[SPEAKER_01]: I did not.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Do you remember what happened?
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[SPEAKER_01]: I just showed up because I said I would.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Nothing's okay.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, you hear me?
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[SPEAKER_01]: Nothing.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Well it meant everything to me and at the end of our day you said and this is the thing I don't understand with men it's like you don't have to say this but you chose to You said I had a great time.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'd love to see you again You know you said oh my god, we should do this again.
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[SPEAKER_00]: How about you know to morrow and I was like I did not say that you said to morrow.
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[SPEAKER_00]: How about we go right because
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[SPEAKER_00]: When I was a star then I was going to see a choir and I was like how you are writing my relatives like a woman who just like a woman who's so keen I need to like let him have a little bit of space because you know We need to take this slow.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I literally saw you then I say a choir and then I message you and so when you want to go for coffee And you were like let me have a think about it and go back to you and you never did it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, which is you know Not new.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's not new, but I did think he were different
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[SPEAKER_01]: You thought that, see the thing about a text message, is that it works both ways.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I receive messages just as well as I send them.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So when I say I'll think about it, hey, maybe that was your opening to be like, here's a few ideas.
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[SPEAKER_01]: You know?
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[SPEAKER_00]: it was a collaborative process, so you want me to take the step of saying to make the invitation, you say, I'll think about it and then me do the further work of saying, here are all of the options.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I'm sorry, listen there.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Did she not just five minutes, two minutes ago say that she was going to make the effort?
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[SPEAKER_00]: I know, what do you think?
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[SPEAKER_01]: He's loved you like every other Okay, we're not going to look at it.
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[SPEAKER_01]: We're not going to discuss it.
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[SPEAKER_01]: We're going to be respectful to for my Know what Jady will he tell me what are you doing here today?
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[SPEAKER_00]: I came to be in the choir, and if he is choir, four voices.
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[SPEAKER_01]: We are in the choir together.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We're in the choir together, not too much longer.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean, like I said, we're going to be implementing auditions.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I think some people will make the cut.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm just saying you should take your lessons more seriously.
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[SPEAKER_00]: This is not flirting.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We're not flirting.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You just got bits of your... You got bits of your microphone on your face.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
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[SPEAKER_00]: This is why we're access.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's technically your exes, I said hello.
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[SPEAKER_01]: People are looking at us, I love it.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know why.
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[SPEAKER_01]: All right, all right.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Well, yes, so you know we're the best exes.
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[SPEAKER_01]: No, and you're last one.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Let me just, I don't know why I'm keeping saying you.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know why I'm wishing loneliness upon you.
07:14.711 --> 07:15.391
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not wishing it.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I'm just expecting something.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, it doesn't sound like you're doing great.
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[SPEAKER_01]: All right, you know what?
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[SPEAKER_01]: That's a wrap on this conversation.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So when are we going for a drink?
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[SPEAKER_01]: You don't want to be think about it.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I'll be a part of you in 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2
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[SPEAKER_00]: Because I first got involved with the Furi through I used to work at Lush in the hair lab.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I caught Carolyn's hair, that's when I first met her, and then Lush had a collaboration with the Furi.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We did a hair workshop, and then I met Olivia and Isabelle through cutting her hair as well.
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[SPEAKER_00]: kind of the whole family.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And then Olivia told me about the choir.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I was like, oh my god, it sounds beautiful.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I've always wanted to be part of like this kind of choir.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I wanted to tell you a story.
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[SPEAKER_01]: What we meant in our day about how you were talking to Carolyn about like your feelings, about being part of like the community.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
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[SPEAKER_01]: You need to tell me a bit about that.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I think that's a really nice story to share.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I also think that this is a common feeling, a lot amongst like, I don't know, like black and brown, this sport dysphoria, dysphoria, diaspora, diaspora, I got, I wanted to sound really smart, but it didn't, yeah, no, I mean, you can, can I do that again?
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[SPEAKER_00]: No, no, okay, so I think this is really common amongst the black and brown, diasphoria,
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[SPEAKER_01]: She messed it up twice.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I'm keeping all of this in diaspora.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We are moving up the try that take no I think this is a really common feeling amongst the back and brown diaspora.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, you got it rolling
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[SPEAKER_01]: You know what I mean, we do, we just need to, like, keep it up.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm a brown woman who was born in England and I'm a half-greek half-guinies, but I grew up between Cyprus and England in very, very white areas.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I think it's really common to feel like you don't necessarily belong in brown spaces.
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[SPEAKER_00]: even though you are brown.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I used to say to Carolyn when she used to invite me to a four-year event, so I'd be like, I'm not going to lie like I feel a little bit ashamed to go because I've kind of rejected my brownness for so many years because I've always been in white spaces, I always wanted to fit in those spaces.
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[SPEAKER_00]: She was like, so... Come and join new spaces now.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's never too late to be in those spaces.
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[SPEAKER_00]: okay, cool.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But the first thing I actually did was the choir.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Actually, I went to the women of color event two years ago and that was really life changing.
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[SPEAKER_01]: That was really cool because the argument you got into the fire.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I got in a really big fight.
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[SPEAKER_00]: This is true, but I won.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That's the most important thing.
10:10.826 --> 10:12.587
[SPEAKER_01]: The definition of women you were like, fighting.
10:12.627 --> 10:15.348
[SPEAKER_01]: I didn't know what, I'm sorry, you're not a turf.
10:15.488 --> 10:16.589
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not a turf.
10:16.669 --> 10:19.030
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not a turf.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's really interesting to learn how you lead the conversations, though.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You're welcome.
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[SPEAKER_01]: She knows this professional.
10:26.933 --> 10:29.695
[SPEAKER_00]: You could destroy me because of what I'm planning.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it's like you could be like Oh my god, we're just discovered K there's a tattoo.
10:33.236 --> 10:34.096
[SPEAKER_01]: And I like to tease it.
10:34.296 --> 10:39.779
[SPEAKER_01]: You don't know I'm like just so you know, we're gonna cut that He's gonna go on that it's a baby
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[SPEAKER_00]: I can't remember what I was saying.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Well, okay.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I really relate to what you were saying about being, well, the idea of being in a lot of white spaces.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I have this accent because I went to international school that was predominantly, I was the only person I was the only black person there and there was like two others.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I was the only Arab person in that school, in an Arab country.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It was a international school where the expats and their kids, and it was a lot of white kids.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And so I would spend really the majority of my day in those white environments, and then I'd go back home.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So like my era family, my white era family because I wasn't close to my black era family side And so like I really did have that and I think I really did have that I I didn't know what you're saying about that shame That you kind of carry because like yeah, I know that there was a time in my life We are rejected the suspect of myself.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I really did and then now that I'm claiming it.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I feel guilty about it
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[SPEAKER_01]: You know now that you now you know that like because I was I'm rooted in myself now a lot more than I've ever been and The fact that like I neglected these aspects.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I feel this way about like my queerness, you know, yes Like that's a shame like I have shame that because like I tried to bury it for so long before like
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[SPEAKER_01]: I understood that it was like not something I could change and something that like I love and that is me, you know?
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But now that you're in queer spaces and you are in diverse spaces as well.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Mm-hmm.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's a little bit of that guilt going away because for me it is.
12:10.746 --> 12:11.667
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, you know what it is.
12:11.767 --> 12:12.107
[SPEAKER_01]: It's been...
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[SPEAKER_01]: I don't want to say something pat like it was healing, even though it is, or anything like that, but it just felt It's more correct, you know, I felt more aligned with myself once like I actually allowed myself to speak and to exist in these spaces That's been just like a real blessing, and I'm still discovering that, you know?
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, it's a different energy in my life than I think I've ever had in a while and it's been really nice.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I think that too.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Oh my god.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, that's such a nice way to put it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Well, we're having such a nice conversation.
12:41.009 --> 12:42.710
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, we have to get there eventually.
12:42.730 --> 12:43.270
[SPEAKER_00]: We have to get it.
12:43.631 --> 12:47.093
[SPEAKER_00]: But I feel like that what you just said about it is a different energy in my life.
12:47.313 --> 12:48.134
[SPEAKER_00]: I feel that too.
12:48.254 --> 12:54.297
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like something has shifted just allowing myself to be in spaces where I feel
12:55.298 --> 12:56.659
[SPEAKER_00]: culturally validated.
12:57.580 --> 13:05.565
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm allowed to be here and I'm allowed to learn at the same time that's okay.
13:06.386 --> 13:11.629
[SPEAKER_00]: Even this morning, I came across this Instagram account.
13:11.749 --> 13:14.191
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a cheese brand called all the aunties.
13:15.492 --> 13:16.393
[SPEAKER_01]: I love that.
13:16.473 --> 13:17.353
[SPEAKER_00]: I think all the aunties?
13:18.174 --> 13:18.814
[SPEAKER_01]: All the aunties?
13:20.095 --> 13:20.996
[SPEAKER_00]: I should really know that.
13:21.957 --> 13:22.197
[SPEAKER_00]: wait.
13:22.457 --> 13:23.138
[SPEAKER_00]: Hold on, hold on.
13:23.178 --> 13:24.699
[SPEAKER_00]: We'll do a pick-up.
13:24.739 --> 13:29.502
[SPEAKER_00]: She did this post about coming up with all the aunties.
13:29.862 --> 13:32.484
[SPEAKER_00]: We think it's called cheese, cheese, cheese.
13:35.097 --> 13:52.482
[SPEAKER_00]: The aunties, yeah, all the aunties, and she did this post about, um, because, yeah, because three generations of my family haven't lived in India, much like the much like of the Diaspora that hasn't been by choice, right?
13:52.562 --> 13:53.642
[SPEAKER_00]: And it was really cool.
13:53.662 --> 13:54.982
[SPEAKER_00]: So, what read this?
13:55.023 --> 14:01.844
[SPEAKER_00]: Because she's got this cheese brand, um, with Peneer, and she's talking about three generations.
14:01.984 --> 14:02.305
[SPEAKER_00]: She doesn't
14:04.185 --> 14:22.229
[SPEAKER_00]: She doesn't speak the language, she says it's someone here, doesn't speak the language, doesn't, has never lived in India, but she still has an Indian food brand, but because she can connect with her culture through food and that's the way that she does it with her like, not me and stuff.
14:22.709 --> 14:28.690
[SPEAKER_00]: And it just made me think, oh my god, yeah, like, it's so, like, you're still, um, oh no way, where am I going with this?
14:29.930 --> 14:39.054
[SPEAKER_00]: You're still creating something around Indian culture, even though you feel some sort of disconnection from it, and that's okay.
14:39.434 --> 14:42.535
[SPEAKER_00]: You still have, you still have, you're still part of it.
14:42.595 --> 14:43.296
[SPEAKER_00]: You're still part of it.
14:43.336 --> 14:47.157
[SPEAKER_00]: You can still take space in it as well, and I found it really inspiring.
14:47.357 --> 14:48.438
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, yeah.
14:48.458 --> 14:49.078
[SPEAKER_00]: Does it make sense?
14:49.278 --> 14:49.698
[SPEAKER_01]: It does.
14:49.798 --> 14:53.600
[SPEAKER_01]: No, I think it kind of estimates everything we've been talking about aside from the argument.
14:54.060 --> 14:58.081
[SPEAKER_01]: Um, swimming, so mates, uh, so we're gonna have a content creator.
14:58.121 --> 14:58.941
[SPEAKER_00]: Can I put my phone there?
14:59.181 --> 14:59.481
[SPEAKER_01]: Sure.
14:59.601 --> 15:01.542
[SPEAKER_00]: And just like, what are we doing exactly?
15:01.822 --> 15:02.322
[SPEAKER_01]: We're vlogging.
15:02.342 --> 15:03.002
[SPEAKER_00]: We're vlogging today.
15:03.022 --> 15:03.402
[SPEAKER_01]: Do I stop?
15:03.662 --> 15:04.162
[SPEAKER_01]: Should I stop?
15:04.322 --> 15:05.123
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, I'm not gonna stop.
15:05.443 --> 15:06.283
[SPEAKER_01]: Hello, hello.
15:06.303 --> 15:09.204
[SPEAKER_01]: As, uh, oh my god, her phone has a stand.
15:11.244 --> 15:13.565
[SPEAKER_01]: I didn't know they did to phone to the stand, but let me angle myself.
15:13.765 --> 15:15.185
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm gonna be like, we've put.
15:20.096 --> 15:24.359
[SPEAKER_01]: I just want you to know I've been very careful about sharing my feed on the internet because I don't want to they'll be worth money.
15:25.300 --> 15:26.942
[SPEAKER_01]: We keep it available now.
15:28.803 --> 15:29.044
[SPEAKER_01]: Hello.
15:29.284 --> 15:30.004
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
15:31.506 --> 15:32.807
[SPEAKER_01]: So what is this in the picture?
15:33.757 --> 15:34.418
[SPEAKER_00]: No, it's a video.
15:34.438 --> 15:34.978
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, okay.
15:34.998 --> 15:35.399
[SPEAKER_01]: Hello.
15:36.179 --> 15:37.260
[SPEAKER_01]: Sorry, I don't know what's happening.
15:37.520 --> 15:38.481
[SPEAKER_01]: I've never taken videos.
15:38.501 --> 15:39.282
[SPEAKER_00]: Pretend it's not there.
15:39.542 --> 15:40.023
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, okay.
15:40.263 --> 15:47.909
[SPEAKER_01]: So here's the funny thing, is that like my friend Victor, who is the person helps me in social media, is trying to get me to do like more video content.
15:47.949 --> 15:49.050
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm so interested.
15:49.351 --> 15:50.732
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm so resistant.
15:50.772 --> 15:51.753
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not good on camera.
15:51.833 --> 15:52.634
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know if I'm good on camera.
15:52.654 --> 15:54.075
[SPEAKER_00]: I've never done that.
15:54.641 --> 15:57.464
[SPEAKER_01]: That's what I wanted, I got exactly what I needed out of that one.
15:59.586 --> 16:02.849
[SPEAKER_01]: But it was genuinely like, it's been...
16:02.969 --> 16:03.689
[SPEAKER_00]: But no, it's been like it.
16:04.110 --> 16:05.671
[SPEAKER_00]: Because you're so charismatic.
16:05.811 --> 16:06.692
[SPEAKER_01]: I try it.
16:06.872 --> 16:07.373
[SPEAKER_01]: I try it.
16:07.413 --> 16:09.315
[SPEAKER_01]: I've been like playing around with it a little bit.
16:09.355 --> 16:11.877
[SPEAKER_01]: But yeah, no, it's such a different beast.
16:12.077 --> 16:30.895
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, it is a different beast, but also I think because with your account and the interesting things that you post about and your podcast It's all really interesting and cool and I like what you do Yeah, but at the same time people I I people like to see people people when they did to see one Yeah, they want to connect with the person behind all of that stuff.
16:30.915 --> 16:34.018
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and Like what is it that?
16:34.699 --> 16:35.639
[SPEAKER_01]: I think it's the idea of like
16:37.575 --> 16:40.300
[SPEAKER_01]: exposure visibility, you know, putting myself out there.
16:40.641 --> 16:49.176
[SPEAKER_01]: I've been really trying to make the effort, you know, and I'm really inspired by people who do it because I think it's like, it takes a lot of like courage, you know, I'm even courage, but it takes a, I think it takes,
16:50.168 --> 16:51.089
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't even know what it takes.
16:51.109 --> 16:58.254
[SPEAKER_01]: I think it takes like I kind of, in my head, a grounding in yourself, that sometimes I, I'm worried I lack, you know, a confidence.
16:58.594 --> 17:08.161
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, before I start posting so often, I actually, I have made videos for years on other people, and I never liked being in front of the camera.
17:08.501 --> 17:12.785
[SPEAKER_00]: And I was, I didn't think I could post on my social media because I thought maybe I'm not pretty enough.
17:12.825 --> 17:14.206
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't look like all the other girls.
17:14.946 --> 17:22.853
[SPEAKER_00]: who post on there and I don't hate, I'm not a very serious person, I don't mind putting stuff on there that's a bit stupid and not polished and all that stuff.
17:23.173 --> 17:24.954
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not a polish person literally, right?
17:25.475 --> 17:26.856
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't want to say anything.
17:26.876 --> 17:31.880
[SPEAKER_00]: But I first started posting three years ago, properly, just because I wanted to call out my ex.
17:32.040 --> 17:32.381
[SPEAKER_01]: Really?
17:32.401 --> 17:33.802
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I wanted to be like,
17:34.362 --> 17:34.962
[SPEAKER_00]: you did.
17:35.982 --> 17:39.823
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna share everything that you did and I didn't.
17:40.964 --> 17:42.144
[SPEAKER_00]: I wish I had, maybe I'll do that.
17:42.464 --> 17:43.004
[SPEAKER_01]: Honestly.
17:43.124 --> 17:43.764
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh my god.
17:43.784 --> 17:46.545
[SPEAKER_01]: Do the first post I ever wanted to make contact.
17:46.745 --> 17:47.325
[SPEAKER_01]: Do that contact.
17:47.345 --> 17:47.945
[SPEAKER_01]: I want to see that.
17:48.025 --> 17:48.926
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to do a teller.
17:48.966 --> 17:49.626
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm writing a book.
17:49.946 --> 17:50.346
[SPEAKER_01]: Are you?
17:50.426 --> 17:51.606
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, I actually.
17:51.646 --> 17:52.766
[SPEAKER_01]: I really am.
17:53.827 --> 17:54.527
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a teller book.
17:54.787 --> 17:55.967
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, okay, shall I?
17:56.007 --> 17:57.728
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, tell me as much as you can share it.
17:57.748 --> 17:58.428
[SPEAKER_00]: Do you know what?
17:58.648 --> 17:59.568
[SPEAKER_00]: I had a client the other day.
17:59.588 --> 18:02.849
[SPEAKER_00]: No, I don't want to show you my hair too much because I know you'll be jealous, please.
18:03.549 --> 18:08.053
[SPEAKER_01]: All right, all right, don't come for my inches, bitch.
18:08.754 --> 18:10.115
[SPEAKER_01]: All right, it's wringles.
18:10.135 --> 18:11.456
[SPEAKER_01]: Your hair does look really great.
18:11.536 --> 18:12.257
[SPEAKER_01]: I know it does, thank you.
18:12.277 --> 18:12.597
[SPEAKER_01]: Today again.
18:13.538 --> 18:18.342
[SPEAKER_00]: And God, I'm at an author, like, at the salon.
18:18.923 --> 18:27.010
[SPEAKER_00]: And they said to me not to tell people too much about my book because I can't remember why they said that because I'm such an open book.
18:27.310 --> 18:27.590
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
18:27.950 --> 18:28.291
[SPEAKER_00]: Literally.
18:28.531 --> 18:29.452
[SPEAKER_01]: Because the book could change.
18:30.179 --> 18:33.183
[SPEAKER_00]: It could change if it could influence it.
18:34.104 --> 18:41.253
[SPEAKER_00]: But I started writing this book years ago after my breakup years ago with my long-term ex-boyfriend.
18:41.814 --> 18:43.456
[SPEAKER_00]: And it was the first time I was on dating apps.
18:44.377 --> 18:45.158
[SPEAKER_01]: And you were alive?
18:45.899 --> 18:46.119
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
18:46.359 --> 18:46.700
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, wow.
18:46.920 --> 18:48.001
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it was the first time.
18:48.021 --> 18:48.742
[SPEAKER_00]: I was like 30.
18:49.584 --> 18:51.765
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh my god, but also like three years ago you said right?
18:51.785 --> 19:07.670
[SPEAKER_00]: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
19:12.272 --> 19:15.735
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's got all these musicians and artists on it.
19:15.755 --> 19:17.196
[SPEAKER_00]: And I was like, ooh, that sounds cool.
19:17.277 --> 19:17.997
[SPEAKER_00]: And then I went on it.
19:18.057 --> 19:19.619
[SPEAKER_00]: And it was like, there was like clowns.
19:19.639 --> 19:23.782
[SPEAKER_01]: Meanwhile, meanwhile, me on Grinders, I'm like ducking Madonna.
19:24.143 --> 19:27.325
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm ducking Grinders, but around since the dawn I've been trying.
19:27.386 --> 19:28.587
[SPEAKER_01]: And it's gotten so bad.
19:28.847 --> 19:29.547
[SPEAKER_01]: It's got so bad.
19:29.567 --> 19:30.909
[SPEAKER_00]: It never changed, though, did it?
19:31.109 --> 19:31.729
[SPEAKER_01]: It just got worse.
19:32.130 --> 19:33.331
[SPEAKER_01]: It just got worse now, like.
19:33.371 --> 19:34.132
[SPEAKER_01]: Now, like, there's...
19:34.832 --> 19:40.418
[SPEAKER_01]: like you can always speak to like 10 people or you have to pay and I don't like the paying thing.
19:40.438 --> 19:44.643
[SPEAKER_01]: So whole thing also on the pictures that the men send you like they're not saved.
19:44.683 --> 19:47.506
[SPEAKER_01]: They become locked after where I'm just like, but you want to save them?
19:47.686 --> 19:48.367
[SPEAKER_00]: I'd like to look back.
19:49.997 --> 19:51.978
[SPEAKER_01]: Sometimes, you know, I'll be like, oh, I remember you.
19:52.218 --> 19:53.218
[SPEAKER_01]: You were nice to me.
19:53.419 --> 19:54.559
[SPEAKER_01]: You were not.
19:55.479 --> 19:56.380
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like a serial killer.
19:56.400 --> 19:57.000
[SPEAKER_01]: I like trophies.
19:57.160 --> 19:57.980
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
19:59.481 --> 20:00.461
[SPEAKER_01]: Usually I take credit card.
20:00.641 --> 20:02.482
[SPEAKER_01]: No, no, I'm not.
20:02.582 --> 20:03.443
[SPEAKER_00]: I can't get a date.
20:03.643 --> 20:04.043
[SPEAKER_00]: Really?
20:04.163 --> 20:04.543
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
20:05.463 --> 20:06.304
[SPEAKER_00]: I thought I had one.
20:08.005 --> 20:10.186
[SPEAKER_01]: You're a delusion, not mine.
20:11.487 --> 20:12.488
[SPEAKER_00]: So I've given up on them now.
20:13.229 --> 20:16.631
[SPEAKER_00]: But my book back then was, oh my god, there's this thing called Hinge.
20:16.952 --> 20:18.212
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, I'm going to sign up.
20:18.493 --> 20:22.115
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm going to date anyone and everyone to find out what my type is.
20:22.196 --> 20:22.556
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
20:22.576 --> 20:23.537
[SPEAKER_00]: Because I don't really know.
20:23.557 --> 20:25.818
[SPEAKER_00]: I never did a lot of dating and I was with my ex for seven years.
20:26.319 --> 20:27.079
[SPEAKER_00]: And blah blah blah.
20:27.480 --> 20:29.261
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I dated all these awful men.
20:30.242 --> 20:31.703
[SPEAKER_00]: And my book was going to be cool.
20:31.723 --> 20:33.084
[SPEAKER_00]: Is it still going?
20:33.424 --> 20:33.764
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
20:34.685 --> 20:43.536
[SPEAKER_00]: My book was going to be called Memoirs of a Girl who just wants to have fun because on my profile I just wanted to have fun I was looking for a relationship.
20:44.077 --> 20:46.741
[SPEAKER_00]: I just wanted to don't fun dates.
20:46.861 --> 20:47.141
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
20:47.261 --> 20:47.922
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and I want to make
20:49.743 --> 20:57.506
[SPEAKER_00]: But I still had all these awful men, like the gaslighting, the gatekeeping, the girl bossing.
20:57.526 --> 20:59.887
[SPEAKER_00]: And I was like, I'm not looking for anything serious.
20:59.907 --> 21:01.448
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, I know.
21:01.588 --> 21:02.548
[SPEAKER_00]: I already told you this.
21:03.069 --> 21:04.769
[SPEAKER_00]: That's an win.
21:05.530 --> 21:05.890
[SPEAKER_01]: What?
21:07.250 --> 21:08.631
[SPEAKER_01]: to like a bit of a log.
21:08.871 --> 21:10.791
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a memoir, right?
21:10.851 --> 21:11.111
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
21:11.471 --> 21:23.655
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a memoir and each chapter was going to be a guy and this was 2019 I started writing it and then I had my last ex and I was like oh my god it's all going to lead up to this perfect relationship.
21:23.715 --> 21:24.295
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, yeah.
21:24.355 --> 21:28.216
[SPEAKER_00]: The dream has happened and then that came crashing down
21:28.496 --> 21:29.776
[SPEAKER_00]: And that is a juicy story.
21:30.857 --> 21:31.937
[SPEAKER_00]: It is a very juicy story.
21:31.957 --> 21:32.817
[SPEAKER_01]: We're going to get you to share.
21:32.837 --> 21:34.797
[SPEAKER_01]: I think you shared a little bit of it with me.
21:34.837 --> 21:35.838
[SPEAKER_01]: I think I shared too much.
21:36.158 --> 21:36.398
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
21:36.858 --> 21:37.318
[SPEAKER_01]: All right.
21:37.838 --> 21:39.258
[SPEAKER_00]: For someone who wasn't supposed to talk about that book.
21:39.278 --> 21:39.858
[SPEAKER_01]: You said too much.
21:40.138 --> 21:41.019
[SPEAKER_00]: I said too much.
21:41.319 --> 21:43.579
[SPEAKER_00]: And now I'm in a place where I'm like, OK, I have two things I want to write.
21:43.599 --> 21:44.519
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to write the memoir.
21:45.500 --> 21:50.161
[SPEAKER_00]: And I want to write a self-help book, which is why I want to go sit in there for the self-help thing.
21:50.921 --> 21:51.861
[SPEAKER_00]: But I can't sit still.
21:52.521 --> 21:53.481
[SPEAKER_00]: For too long, this is nice.
21:53.841 --> 21:55.582
[SPEAKER_01]: But in a room where you're supposed to sit down.
21:57.002 --> 22:01.365
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, you'll get what you need 20 minutes and then AJ like at the end of this year I want to be an author.
22:01.865 --> 22:03.026
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, published.
22:03.306 --> 22:04.346
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, sell out.
22:05.587 --> 22:06.868
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, doable, achievable.
22:07.188 --> 22:08.489
[SPEAKER_00]: If you can make this happen with the public.
22:08.589 --> 22:09.349
[SPEAKER_01]: It's the personally.
22:09.509 --> 22:09.830
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
22:09.990 --> 22:10.710
[SPEAKER_01]: All right, girl.
22:11.931 --> 22:12.651
[SPEAKER_01]: I'll do my best.
22:12.851 --> 22:13.212
[SPEAKER_01]: I promise.
22:13.252 --> 22:14.973
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, for exposure.
22:15.013 --> 22:15.733
[SPEAKER_00]: I have written it.
22:15.773 --> 22:16.013
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
22:17.394 --> 22:19.255
[SPEAKER_00]: And I have an agent and I'm publisher.
22:19.275 --> 22:20.736
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm just, you know, a vibe.
22:20.816 --> 22:22.137
[SPEAKER_00]: I have a few not a few notes.
22:22.517 --> 22:42.191
[SPEAKER_00]: actually what we should do right are we sure we call authoring a book we should we should co-work in a for a bookshop because I think writing it within a bookshop will be very inspiring well I so I'm a for a book now in the weekdays usually like in weekdays working with my friend Victor so you just come join us is it a day?
22:46.349 --> 22:47.110
[SPEAKER_01]: It's a play day.
22:47.230 --> 22:47.891
[SPEAKER_01]: It's a play day.
22:47.911 --> 22:48.591
[SPEAKER_01]: All right.
22:48.651 --> 22:49.412
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, you know what?
22:49.492 --> 22:52.494
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm sorry to think that maybe now it wasn't might me.
22:54.335 --> 22:55.817
[SPEAKER_01]: I better not be a chapter in this book.
22:55.857 --> 22:56.697
[SPEAKER_01]: Hear me.
22:56.737 --> 22:57.098
[SPEAKER_01]: Hear me.
22:57.418 --> 22:58.459
[SPEAKER_01]: Actually, I better be two chapters.
23:00.240 --> 23:00.800
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, thank you so much.
23:00.820 --> 23:01.721
[SPEAKER_00]: Do you want to talk?
23:02.061 --> 23:02.522
[SPEAKER_01]: I'll take two.
23:03.122 --> 23:03.482
[SPEAKER_01]: Just too.
23:03.902 --> 23:06.823
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not very much that coffee wasn't that exciting.
23:06.863 --> 23:08.363
[SPEAKER_01]: I feel like we really got to know each other.
23:08.483 --> 23:11.184
[SPEAKER_01]: We went through a whole life to live together.
23:11.224 --> 23:13.004
[SPEAKER_01]: But okay, yes.
23:13.124 --> 23:14.185
[SPEAKER_01]: Now let's run this out.
23:14.245 --> 23:14.405
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
23:14.425 --> 23:17.685
[SPEAKER_01]: Can you give me your where can people find you have social media with more?
23:18.005 --> 23:22.906
[SPEAKER_00]: At Kaila Shanti or it's Kaila Shanti on TikTok.
23:23.187 --> 23:23.587
[SPEAKER_00]: No wait.
23:24.067 --> 23:28.388
[SPEAKER_00]: At Kaila Shanti on Instagram or it's Kaila Shanti on TikTok.
23:28.448 --> 23:29.208
[SPEAKER_01]: Give us spelling.
23:30.288 --> 23:34.071
[SPEAKER_00]: K-A-E-L-A, S-H-A-N-T-I.
23:34.331 --> 23:37.394
[SPEAKER_01]: Google that, you will find her on the internet.
23:37.454 --> 23:42.578
[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you so much, and is it not called it not, is it my lid on there?
23:43.278 --> 23:44.139
[SPEAKER_00]: What's your lid on there?
23:44.899 --> 23:45.320
[SPEAKER_00]: It comes.
23:45.560 --> 23:46.180
[SPEAKER_01]: Let's talk of air.
23:46.280 --> 23:46.901
[UNKNOWN]: Let's talk of air.
23:46.941 --> 23:47.401
[SPEAKER_01]: All right.
23:47.601 --> 23:49.283
[SPEAKER_01]: Goodbye.
00:10.263 --> 00:20.820
[SPEAKER_01]: Hello, I'm here with a content creator and internet influencer, they've allowed, they've allowed them in here God, the book talks taking over the book festival, I don't know you're not book talk are you?
00:21.765 --> 00:22.365
[SPEAKER_00]: Are you paying me?
00:22.886 --> 00:23.066
[SPEAKER_01]: No.
00:23.586 --> 00:24.467
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
00:24.487 --> 00:25.547
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm paying you with my company.
00:25.587 --> 00:26.608
[SPEAKER_01]: My time and my attention.
00:26.788 --> 00:27.788
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't have enough for you.
00:27.808 --> 00:31.390
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't take exposure.
00:31.750 --> 00:31.931
[SPEAKER_00]: Go.
00:32.071 --> 00:32.291
[SPEAKER_00]: Go.
00:32.311 --> 00:34.852
[SPEAKER_00]: But I like to help people out and if this helps you.
00:35.372 --> 00:36.293
[SPEAKER_01]: I had enough of you.
00:38.014 --> 00:40.295
[SPEAKER_00]: I know you need the help so it's fine.
00:40.375 --> 00:40.915
[SPEAKER_01]: All right.
00:40.935 --> 00:41.996
[SPEAKER_01]: Let's just let you wrap it up.
00:42.016 --> 00:43.437
[SPEAKER_01]: This is wrap it up right now.
00:44.374 --> 00:48.240
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, I hope you know that I'm going to edit this so that it seems like you are the aggressor.
00:48.421 --> 00:48.661
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
00:48.781 --> 00:51.846
[SPEAKER_01]: You are the next race to Cresson on my poor.
00:51.866 --> 00:52.908
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm here.
00:52.968 --> 00:54.230
[SPEAKER_01]: I weed by you into my community.
00:54.751 --> 00:55.973
[SPEAKER_01]: It's my community black community.
00:58.496 --> 01:00.797
[SPEAKER_01]: And the first thing, yes, I did.
01:00.838 --> 01:01.458
[SPEAKER_01]: Me personally.
01:01.618 --> 01:03.259
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, good.
01:03.299 --> 01:04.139
[SPEAKER_00]: I used all of them.
01:04.159 --> 01:04.460
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, me.
01:04.560 --> 01:05.340
[SPEAKER_01]: It's all me.
01:05.420 --> 01:06.301
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, they don't want to.
01:06.381 --> 01:06.841
[SPEAKER_00]: I saw this.
01:06.861 --> 01:09.162
[SPEAKER_00]: You show up at 11 a.m. Love.
01:09.222 --> 01:09.923
[SPEAKER_00]: Eat a pizza.
01:10.063 --> 01:10.243
[SPEAKER_01]: A.m.
01:10.403 --> 01:10.823
[SPEAKER_01]: Exactly.
01:11.023 --> 01:13.005
[SPEAKER_00]: A.m. Yeah, we were all here at 10.
01:13.425 --> 01:13.765
[SPEAKER_01]: All right.
01:13.785 --> 01:15.446
[SPEAKER_00]: Actually, I didn't even think you showed up at 11 a.m.
01:15.466 --> 01:16.687
[SPEAKER_00]: I think you showed up at 12.
01:16.887 --> 01:17.347
[SPEAKER_00]: OK.
01:17.627 --> 01:19.188
[SPEAKER_01]: But why are journeys the same?
01:19.288 --> 01:20.609
[SPEAKER_01]: Why are journeys meant to be the same?
01:21.289 --> 01:21.990
[SPEAKER_01]: I walked a path.
01:22.110 --> 01:22.930
[SPEAKER_01]: Might have a different mother.
01:23.310 --> 01:24.031
[SPEAKER_01]: Have a different father.
01:24.491 --> 01:25.052
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm here now.
01:25.072 --> 01:26.433
[SPEAKER_00]: I did.
01:26.673 --> 01:30.016
[SPEAKER_01]: Do you not want to talk about my other stuff?
01:31.578 --> 01:33.980
[SPEAKER_00]: I love that you managed to take it though.
01:34.000 --> 01:35.161
[SPEAKER_01]: We not even introduced you.
01:35.201 --> 01:35.861
[SPEAKER_01]: Who are you?
01:36.021 --> 01:36.862
[SPEAKER_00]: My name's Kayla.
01:37.042 --> 01:37.623
[SPEAKER_01]: Kayla.
01:37.683 --> 01:38.023
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
01:38.484 --> 01:39.705
[SPEAKER_01]: Wait, can we find you online?
01:40.637 --> 01:46.599
[SPEAKER_01]: Kayla Shanti actually I've always wanted to ask you was how'd you get into that how'd you get into content creation and to do and things on the internet?
01:46.659 --> 02:07.106
[SPEAKER_00]: I've just always loved making videos and I don't wouldn't say I'm a content creator because I've really got like 600 people on my Instagram and most of them on my friends but it is something that I want to do and I actually only started taking seriously this year and I do a UGC which is kind of a it's a job in content but I wouldn't say
02:09.247 --> 02:21.751
[SPEAKER_00]: You just use a generated content so I make videos for brands like say a skincare brand and we'll send me their product and I make a video that they can use on their social media.
02:22.011 --> 02:23.531
[SPEAKER_00]: Not online because I'm not an influencer.
02:26.152 --> 02:27.733
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm a model.
02:28.093 --> 02:36.037
[SPEAKER_00]: The thing is I was born with this beautiful face and I can market it and people want to use it and it's not my fault.
02:36.077 --> 02:37.618
[SPEAKER_01]: Opportunities are on the table.
02:37.758 --> 02:38.498
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, exactly.
02:38.518 --> 02:43.601
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean that these things don't have that experience but you don't live through me.
02:43.621 --> 02:45.622
[SPEAKER_00]: This is those are your words, not mine.
02:46.122 --> 02:46.843
[SPEAKER_01]: But you meant for me.
02:46.863 --> 02:48.144
[SPEAKER_00]: No one is ugly, everyone's beautiful.
02:48.905 --> 02:49.746
[SPEAKER_00]: Everyone has it.
02:49.966 --> 02:57.374
[SPEAKER_00]: Everyone can get into you just see because it's about people and all the different people that are going to use this product.
02:57.454 --> 02:58.515
[SPEAKER_01]: Mm-hmm.
02:58.575 --> 03:08.265
[SPEAKER_00]: But I want to get into my own content that is fun and fulfilling and helps people to think about stuff and is reflective.
03:08.925 --> 03:09.366
[SPEAKER_00]: Reflective?
03:09.966 --> 03:11.326
[SPEAKER_01]: It's different.
03:11.486 --> 03:12.327
[SPEAKER_01]: We reflect.
03:12.427 --> 03:13.807
[SPEAKER_01]: It's not deflective.
03:13.827 --> 03:15.848
[SPEAKER_01]: It feels like you're being a bit like a woman.
03:17.928 --> 03:22.330
[SPEAKER_00]: This is so intense with microphone.
03:22.790 --> 03:24.930
[SPEAKER_01]: It has a little troll doll moment or no.
03:24.950 --> 03:26.031
[SPEAKER_01]: This is why I kind of like him.
03:26.771 --> 03:29.311
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, no, I kind of... Just feeling posing.
03:29.391 --> 03:30.632
[SPEAKER_01]: I like seeing it so much.
03:31.432 --> 03:44.690
[SPEAKER_01]: tickling my nose about the thing, so I mean we did discover we went on a date back, so I thought it was a date, why, what part of me is creeped to you?
03:44.710 --> 03:46.973
[SPEAKER_01]: I had a sexual lover, what part of it?
03:47.133 --> 03:47.973
[SPEAKER_00]: You know what?
03:48.013 --> 03:50.735
[SPEAKER_01]: My legs are crossing the same direction as yours already.
03:50.755 --> 03:54.996
[SPEAKER_00]: But I don't have the best taste in men, and I thought I'd try something different.
03:55.016 --> 03:56.137
[SPEAKER_01]: What do you mean about your style?
03:58.258 --> 04:00.739
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like, wow, this guy is funny, you.
04:01.219 --> 04:01.879
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
04:01.899 --> 04:07.141
[SPEAKER_00]: And is in my career, so we would have met organically, IRL.
04:07.642 --> 04:09.202
[SPEAKER_01]: This could be it.
04:09.562 --> 04:12.444
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to make all the effort to invite him for a coffee.
04:12.504 --> 04:13.184
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to make none.
04:13.773 --> 04:15.755
[SPEAKER_00]: You're gonna make, but you did show up.
04:15.896 --> 04:16.576
[SPEAKER_00]: You did show up.
04:16.797 --> 04:19.260
[SPEAKER_00]: You seemed really excited at the end of it.
04:19.280 --> 04:20.701
[SPEAKER_00]: So you were like, oh my God.
04:20.962 --> 04:22.063
[SPEAKER_01]: I was drugged out of my mind.
04:22.283 --> 04:22.524
[SPEAKER_01]: Were you?
04:22.544 --> 04:22.864
[SPEAKER_01]: I did not.
04:22.884 --> 04:24.786
[SPEAKER_01]: Do you remember what happened?
04:24.806 --> 04:26.448
[SPEAKER_01]: I just showed up because I said I would.
04:26.508 --> 04:27.349
[SPEAKER_01]: Nothing's okay.
04:27.690 --> 04:28.290
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, you hear me?
04:28.731 --> 04:29.091
[SPEAKER_01]: Nothing.
04:31.234 --> 04:43.203
[SPEAKER_00]: Well it meant everything to me and at the end of our day you said and this is the thing I don't understand with men it's like you don't have to say this but you chose to You said I had a great time.
04:43.263 --> 04:47.506
[SPEAKER_00]: I'd love to see you again You know you said oh my god, we should do this again.
04:47.526 --> 04:53.230
[SPEAKER_00]: How about you know to morrow and I was like I did not say that you said to morrow.
04:53.250 --> 04:54.331
[SPEAKER_00]: How about we go right because
04:54.331 --> 05:07.194
[SPEAKER_00]: When I was a star then I was going to see a choir and I was like how you are writing my relatives like a woman who just like a woman who's so keen I need to like let him have a little bit of space because you know We need to take this slow.
05:07.254 --> 05:16.856
[SPEAKER_00]: I literally saw you then I say a choir and then I message you and so when you want to go for coffee And you were like let me have a think about it and go back to you and you never did it.
05:17.316 --> 05:20.377
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, which is you know Not new.
05:20.897 --> 05:23.638
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not new, but I did think he were different
05:24.878 --> 05:28.760
[SPEAKER_01]: You thought that, see the thing about a text message, is that it works both ways.
05:28.900 --> 05:30.961
[SPEAKER_01]: I receive messages just as well as I send them.
05:31.221 --> 05:35.402
[SPEAKER_01]: So when I say I'll think about it, hey, maybe that was your opening to be like, here's a few ideas.
05:36.403 --> 05:36.643
[SPEAKER_01]: You know?
05:37.877 --> 05:51.286
[SPEAKER_00]: it was a collaborative process, so you want me to take the step of saying to make the invitation, you say, I'll think about it and then me do the further work of saying, here are all of the options.
05:51.446 --> 05:52.347
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm sorry, listen there.
05:52.527 --> 05:55.969
[SPEAKER_01]: Did she not just five minutes, two minutes ago say that she was going to make the effort?
05:56.029 --> 05:56.950
[SPEAKER_00]: I know, what do you think?
06:01.629 --> 06:05.774
[SPEAKER_01]: He's loved you like every other Okay, we're not going to look at it.
06:05.814 --> 06:06.736
[SPEAKER_01]: We're not going to discuss it.
06:06.816 --> 06:15.847
[SPEAKER_01]: We're going to be respectful to for my Know what Jady will he tell me what are you doing here today?
06:17.195 --> 06:21.037
[SPEAKER_00]: I came to be in the choir, and if he is choir, four voices.
06:21.097 --> 06:22.338
[SPEAKER_01]: We are in the choir together.
06:22.358 --> 06:24.519
[SPEAKER_00]: We're in the choir together, not too much longer.
06:24.839 --> 06:29.081
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean, like I said, we're going to be implementing auditions.
06:29.101 --> 06:30.361
[SPEAKER_00]: So I think some people will make the cut.
06:35.763 --> 06:40.105
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm just saying you should take your lessons more seriously.
06:40.125 --> 06:41.545
[SPEAKER_00]: This is not flirting.
06:41.985 --> 06:42.746
[SPEAKER_00]: We're not flirting.
06:42.806 --> 06:43.066
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
06:43.086 --> 06:49.828
[SPEAKER_00]: You just got bits of your... You got bits of your microphone on your face.
06:50.428 --> 06:50.788
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
06:50.808 --> 06:51.668
[SPEAKER_00]: This is why we're access.
06:58.062 --> 07:00.404
[SPEAKER_00]: It's technically your exes, I said hello.
07:00.444 --> 07:01.984
[SPEAKER_01]: People are looking at us, I love it.
07:02.785 --> 07:03.505
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know why.
07:03.525 --> 07:05.006
[SPEAKER_01]: All right, all right.
07:05.026 --> 07:07.067
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, yes, so you know we're the best exes.
07:07.887 --> 07:10.108
[SPEAKER_01]: No, and you're last one.
07:10.268 --> 07:11.789
[SPEAKER_01]: Let me just, I don't know why I'm keeping saying you.
07:11.909 --> 07:13.870
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know why I'm wishing loneliness upon you.
07:14.711 --> 07:15.391
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not wishing it.
07:15.411 --> 07:16.451
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm just expecting something.
07:16.471 --> 07:18.893
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, it doesn't sound like you're doing great.
07:19.273 --> 07:20.333
[SPEAKER_01]: All right, you know what?
07:20.353 --> 07:21.994
[SPEAKER_01]: That's a wrap on this conversation.
07:22.014 --> 07:23.175
[SPEAKER_00]: So when are we going for a drink?
07:24.196 --> 07:25.397
[SPEAKER_01]: You don't want to be think about it.
07:29.923 --> 07:41.399
[SPEAKER_01]: I'll be a part of you in 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2, 3, 2
07:42.233 --> 07:48.401
[SPEAKER_00]: Because I first got involved with the Furi through I used to work at Lush in the hair lab.
07:48.902 --> 07:54.369
[SPEAKER_00]: So I caught Carolyn's hair, that's when I first met her, and then Lush had a collaboration with the Furi.
07:54.389 --> 07:58.774
[SPEAKER_00]: We did a hair workshop, and then I met Olivia and Isabelle through cutting her hair as well.
08:00.623 --> 08:01.423
[SPEAKER_00]: kind of the whole family.
08:03.144 --> 08:05.725
[SPEAKER_00]: And then Olivia told me about the choir.
08:06.185 --> 08:08.186
[SPEAKER_00]: And I was like, oh my god, it sounds beautiful.
08:08.226 --> 08:11.388
[SPEAKER_00]: I've always wanted to be part of like this kind of choir.
08:11.468 --> 08:12.848
[SPEAKER_01]: I wanted to tell you a story.
08:12.888 --> 08:20.011
[SPEAKER_01]: What we meant in our day about how you were talking to Carolyn about like your feelings, about being part of like the community.
08:20.411 --> 08:20.852
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
08:20.872 --> 08:22.612
[SPEAKER_01]: You need to tell me a bit about that.
08:22.632 --> 08:23.913
[SPEAKER_01]: I think that's a really nice story to share.
08:24.113 --> 08:39.523
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I also think that this is a common feeling, a lot amongst like, I don't know, like black and brown, this sport dysphoria, dysphoria, diaspora, diaspora, I got, I wanted to sound really smart, but it didn't, yeah, no, I mean, you can, can I do that again?
08:39.883 --> 08:46.868
[SPEAKER_00]: No, no, okay, so I think this is really common amongst the black and brown, diasphoria,
08:48.049 --> 08:49.230
[SPEAKER_01]: She messed it up twice.
08:49.470 --> 08:51.552
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm keeping all of this in diaspora.
08:51.773 --> 09:00.021
[SPEAKER_00]: We are moving up the try that take no I think this is a really common feeling amongst the back and brown diaspora.
09:00.081 --> 09:00.902
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, you got it rolling
09:02.699 --> 09:05.822
[SPEAKER_01]: You know what I mean, we do, we just need to, like, keep it up.
09:05.882 --> 09:15.751
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm a brown woman who was born in England and I'm a half-greek half-guinies, but I grew up between Cyprus and England in very, very white areas.
09:16.292 --> 09:22.377
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think it's really common to feel like you don't necessarily belong in brown spaces.
09:23.518 --> 09:24.859
[SPEAKER_00]: even though you are brown.
09:25.320 --> 09:43.915
[SPEAKER_00]: So I used to say to Carolyn when she used to invite me to a four-year event, so I'd be like, I'm not going to lie like I feel a little bit ashamed to go because I've kind of rejected my brownness for so many years because I've always been in white spaces, I always wanted to fit in those spaces.
09:44.236 --> 09:47.338
[SPEAKER_00]: She was like, so... Come and join new spaces now.
09:47.478 --> 09:47.659
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
09:47.719 --> 09:49.480
[SPEAKER_00]: It's never too late to be in those spaces.
09:50.701 --> 09:52.203
[SPEAKER_00]: okay, cool.
09:52.524 --> 09:54.307
[SPEAKER_00]: But the first thing I actually did was the choir.
09:54.968 --> 10:00.035
[SPEAKER_00]: Actually, I went to the women of color event two years ago and that was really life changing.
10:00.416 --> 10:03.540
[SPEAKER_01]: That was really cool because the argument you got into the fire.
10:03.600 --> 10:05.243
[SPEAKER_00]: I got in a really big fight.
10:06.304 --> 10:08.945
[SPEAKER_00]: This is true, but I won.
10:09.586 --> 10:10.786
[SPEAKER_00]: That's the most important thing.
10:10.826 --> 10:12.587
[SPEAKER_01]: The definition of women you were like, fighting.
10:12.627 --> 10:15.348
[SPEAKER_01]: I didn't know what, I'm sorry, you're not a turf.
10:15.488 --> 10:16.589
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not a turf.
10:16.669 --> 10:19.030
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not a turf.
10:19.170 --> 10:23.612
[SPEAKER_00]: It's really interesting to learn how you lead the conversations, though.
10:24.012 --> 10:24.372
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
10:24.512 --> 10:24.993
[SPEAKER_00]: You're welcome.
10:26.053 --> 10:26.913
[SPEAKER_01]: She knows this professional.
10:26.933 --> 10:29.695
[SPEAKER_00]: You could destroy me because of what I'm planning.
10:29.715 --> 10:33.216
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it's like you could be like Oh my god, we're just discovered K there's a tattoo.
10:33.236 --> 10:34.096
[SPEAKER_01]: And I like to tease it.
10:34.296 --> 10:39.779
[SPEAKER_01]: You don't know I'm like just so you know, we're gonna cut that He's gonna go on that it's a baby
10:43.480 --> 10:44.421
[SPEAKER_00]: I can't remember what I was saying.
10:44.781 --> 10:45.282
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, okay.
10:46.063 --> 10:51.869
[SPEAKER_01]: I really relate to what you were saying about being, well, the idea of being in a lot of white spaces.
10:51.889 --> 11:00.858
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I have this accent because I went to international school that was predominantly, I was the only person I was the only black person there and there was like two others.
11:01.298 --> 11:03.979
[SPEAKER_01]: I was the only Arab person in that school, in an Arab country.
11:03.999 --> 11:09.442
[SPEAKER_01]: It was a international school where the expats and their kids, and it was a lot of white kids.
11:09.662 --> 11:16.806
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I would spend really the majority of my day in those white environments, and then I'd go back home.
11:17.886 --> 11:33.936
[SPEAKER_01]: So like my era family, my white era family because I wasn't close to my black era family side And so like I really did have that and I think I really did have that I I didn't know what you're saying about that shame That you kind of carry because like yeah, I know that there was a time in my life We are rejected the suspect of myself.
11:33.996 --> 11:36.677
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I really did and then now that I'm claiming it.
11:36.697 --> 11:37.458
[SPEAKER_01]: I feel guilty about it
11:38.418 --> 11:47.523
[SPEAKER_01]: You know now that you now you know that like because I was I'm rooted in myself now a lot more than I've ever been and The fact that like I neglected these aspects.
11:47.543 --> 11:55.448
[SPEAKER_01]: I feel this way about like my queerness, you know, yes Like that's a shame like I have shame that because like I tried to bury it for so long before like
11:55.988 --> 12:00.834
[SPEAKER_01]: I understood that it was like not something I could change and something that like I love and that is me, you know?
12:00.874 --> 12:02.396
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
12:02.496 --> 12:06.961
[SPEAKER_00]: But now that you're in queer spaces and you are in diverse spaces as well.
12:07.101 --> 12:07.622
[SPEAKER_00]: Mm-hmm.
12:08.223 --> 12:10.525
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a little bit of that guilt going away because for me it is.
12:10.746 --> 12:11.667
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, you know what it is.
12:11.767 --> 12:12.107
[SPEAKER_01]: It's been...
12:14.018 --> 12:30.123
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't want to say something pat like it was healing, even though it is, or anything like that, but it just felt It's more correct, you know, I felt more aligned with myself once like I actually allowed myself to speak and to exist in these spaces That's been just like a real blessing, and I'm still discovering that, you know?
12:31.463 --> 12:35.546
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, it's a different energy in my life than I think I've ever had in a while and it's been really nice.
12:35.646 --> 12:36.746
[SPEAKER_00]: I think that too.
12:36.826 --> 12:37.667
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh my god.
12:37.747 --> 12:39.228
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, that's such a nice way to put it.
12:39.568 --> 12:40.989
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, we're having such a nice conversation.
12:41.009 --> 12:42.710
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, we have to get there eventually.
12:42.730 --> 12:43.270
[SPEAKER_00]: We have to get it.
12:43.631 --> 12:47.093
[SPEAKER_00]: But I feel like that what you just said about it is a different energy in my life.
12:47.313 --> 12:48.134
[SPEAKER_00]: I feel that too.
12:48.254 --> 12:54.297
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like something has shifted just allowing myself to be in spaces where I feel
12:55.298 --> 12:56.659
[SPEAKER_00]: culturally validated.
12:57.580 --> 13:05.565
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm allowed to be here and I'm allowed to learn at the same time that's okay.
13:06.386 --> 13:11.629
[SPEAKER_00]: Even this morning, I came across this Instagram account.
13:11.749 --> 13:14.191
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a cheese brand called all the aunties.
13:15.492 --> 13:16.393
[SPEAKER_01]: I love that.
13:16.473 --> 13:17.353
[SPEAKER_00]: I think all the aunties?
13:18.174 --> 13:18.814
[SPEAKER_01]: All the aunties?
13:20.095 --> 13:20.996
[SPEAKER_00]: I should really know that.
13:21.957 --> 13:22.197
[SPEAKER_00]: wait.
13:22.457 --> 13:23.138
[SPEAKER_00]: Hold on, hold on.
13:23.178 --> 13:24.699
[SPEAKER_00]: We'll do a pick-up.
13:24.739 --> 13:29.502
[SPEAKER_00]: She did this post about coming up with all the aunties.
13:29.862 --> 13:32.484
[SPEAKER_00]: We think it's called cheese, cheese, cheese.
13:35.097 --> 13:52.482
[SPEAKER_00]: The aunties, yeah, all the aunties, and she did this post about, um, because, yeah, because three generations of my family haven't lived in India, much like the much like of the Diaspora that hasn't been by choice, right?
13:52.562 --> 13:53.642
[SPEAKER_00]: And it was really cool.
13:53.662 --> 13:54.982
[SPEAKER_00]: So, what read this?
13:55.023 --> 14:01.844
[SPEAKER_00]: Because she's got this cheese brand, um, with Peneer, and she's talking about three generations.
14:01.984 --> 14:02.305
[SPEAKER_00]: She doesn't
14:04.185 --> 14:22.229
[SPEAKER_00]: She doesn't speak the language, she says it's someone here, doesn't speak the language, doesn't, has never lived in India, but she still has an Indian food brand, but because she can connect with her culture through food and that's the way that she does it with her like, not me and stuff.
14:22.709 --> 14:28.690
[SPEAKER_00]: And it just made me think, oh my god, yeah, like, it's so, like, you're still, um, oh no way, where am I going with this?
14:29.930 --> 14:39.054
[SPEAKER_00]: You're still creating something around Indian culture, even though you feel some sort of disconnection from it, and that's okay.
14:39.434 --> 14:42.535
[SPEAKER_00]: You still have, you still have, you're still part of it.
14:42.595 --> 14:43.296
[SPEAKER_00]: You're still part of it.
14:43.336 --> 14:47.157
[SPEAKER_00]: You can still take space in it as well, and I found it really inspiring.
14:47.357 --> 14:48.438
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, yeah.
14:48.458 --> 14:49.078
[SPEAKER_00]: Does it make sense?
14:49.278 --> 14:49.698
[SPEAKER_01]: It does.
14:49.798 --> 14:53.600
[SPEAKER_01]: No, I think it kind of estimates everything we've been talking about aside from the argument.
14:54.060 --> 14:58.081
[SPEAKER_01]: Um, swimming, so mates, uh, so we're gonna have a content creator.
14:58.121 --> 14:58.941
[SPEAKER_00]: Can I put my phone there?
14:59.181 --> 14:59.481
[SPEAKER_01]: Sure.
14:59.601 --> 15:01.542
[SPEAKER_00]: And just like, what are we doing exactly?
15:01.822 --> 15:02.322
[SPEAKER_01]: We're vlogging.
15:02.342 --> 15:03.002
[SPEAKER_00]: We're vlogging today.
15:03.022 --> 15:03.402
[SPEAKER_01]: Do I stop?
15:03.662 --> 15:04.162
[SPEAKER_01]: Should I stop?
15:04.322 --> 15:05.123
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, I'm not gonna stop.
15:05.443 --> 15:06.283
[SPEAKER_01]: Hello, hello.
15:06.303 --> 15:09.204
[SPEAKER_01]: As, uh, oh my god, her phone has a stand.
15:11.244 --> 15:13.565
[SPEAKER_01]: I didn't know they did to phone to the stand, but let me angle myself.
15:13.765 --> 15:15.185
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm gonna be like, we've put.
15:20.096 --> 15:24.359
[SPEAKER_01]: I just want you to know I've been very careful about sharing my feed on the internet because I don't want to they'll be worth money.
15:25.300 --> 15:26.942
[SPEAKER_01]: We keep it available now.
15:28.803 --> 15:29.044
[SPEAKER_01]: Hello.
15:29.284 --> 15:30.004
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
15:31.506 --> 15:32.807
[SPEAKER_01]: So what is this in the picture?
15:33.757 --> 15:34.418
[SPEAKER_00]: No, it's a video.
15:34.438 --> 15:34.978
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, okay.
15:34.998 --> 15:35.399
[SPEAKER_01]: Hello.
15:36.179 --> 15:37.260
[SPEAKER_01]: Sorry, I don't know what's happening.
15:37.520 --> 15:38.481
[SPEAKER_01]: I've never taken videos.
15:38.501 --> 15:39.282
[SPEAKER_00]: Pretend it's not there.
15:39.542 --> 15:40.023
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, okay.
15:40.263 --> 15:47.909
[SPEAKER_01]: So here's the funny thing, is that like my friend Victor, who is the person helps me in social media, is trying to get me to do like more video content.
15:47.949 --> 15:49.050
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm so interested.
15:49.351 --> 15:50.732
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm so resistant.
15:50.772 --> 15:51.753
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not good on camera.
15:51.833 --> 15:52.634
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know if I'm good on camera.
15:52.654 --> 15:54.075
[SPEAKER_00]: I've never done that.
15:54.641 --> 15:57.464
[SPEAKER_01]: That's what I wanted, I got exactly what I needed out of that one.
15:59.586 --> 16:02.849
[SPEAKER_01]: But it was genuinely like, it's been...
16:02.969 --> 16:03.689
[SPEAKER_00]: But no, it's been like it.
16:04.110 --> 16:05.671
[SPEAKER_00]: Because you're so charismatic.
16:05.811 --> 16:06.692
[SPEAKER_01]: I try it.
16:06.872 --> 16:07.373
[SPEAKER_01]: I try it.
16:07.413 --> 16:09.315
[SPEAKER_01]: I've been like playing around with it a little bit.
16:09.355 --> 16:11.877
[SPEAKER_01]: But yeah, no, it's such a different beast.
16:12.077 --> 16:30.895
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, it is a different beast, but also I think because with your account and the interesting things that you post about and your podcast It's all really interesting and cool and I like what you do Yeah, but at the same time people I I people like to see people people when they did to see one Yeah, they want to connect with the person behind all of that stuff.
16:30.915 --> 16:34.018
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and Like what is it that?
16:34.699 --> 16:35.639
[SPEAKER_01]: I think it's the idea of like
16:37.575 --> 16:40.300
[SPEAKER_01]: exposure visibility, you know, putting myself out there.
16:40.641 --> 16:49.176
[SPEAKER_01]: I've been really trying to make the effort, you know, and I'm really inspired by people who do it because I think it's like, it takes a lot of like courage, you know, I'm even courage, but it takes a, I think it takes,
16:50.168 --> 16:51.089
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't even know what it takes.
16:51.109 --> 16:58.254
[SPEAKER_01]: I think it takes like I kind of, in my head, a grounding in yourself, that sometimes I, I'm worried I lack, you know, a confidence.
16:58.594 --> 17:08.161
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, before I start posting so often, I actually, I have made videos for years on other people, and I never liked being in front of the camera.
17:08.501 --> 17:12.785
[SPEAKER_00]: And I was, I didn't think I could post on my social media because I thought maybe I'm not pretty enough.
17:12.825 --> 17:14.206
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't look like all the other girls.
17:14.946 --> 17:22.853
[SPEAKER_00]: who post on there and I don't hate, I'm not a very serious person, I don't mind putting stuff on there that's a bit stupid and not polished and all that stuff.
17:23.173 --> 17:24.954
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not a polish person literally, right?
17:25.475 --> 17:26.856
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't want to say anything.
17:26.876 --> 17:31.880
[SPEAKER_00]: But I first started posting three years ago, properly, just because I wanted to call out my ex.
17:32.040 --> 17:32.381
[SPEAKER_01]: Really?
17:32.401 --> 17:33.802
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I wanted to be like,
17:34.362 --> 17:34.962
[SPEAKER_00]: you did.
17:35.982 --> 17:39.823
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna share everything that you did and I didn't.
17:40.964 --> 17:42.144
[SPEAKER_00]: I wish I had, maybe I'll do that.
17:42.464 --> 17:43.004
[SPEAKER_01]: Honestly.
17:43.124 --> 17:43.764
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh my god.
17:43.784 --> 17:46.545
[SPEAKER_01]: Do the first post I ever wanted to make contact.
17:46.745 --> 17:47.325
[SPEAKER_01]: Do that contact.
17:47.345 --> 17:47.945
[SPEAKER_01]: I want to see that.
17:48.025 --> 17:48.926
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to do a teller.
17:48.966 --> 17:49.626
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm writing a book.
17:49.946 --> 17:50.346
[SPEAKER_01]: Are you?
17:50.426 --> 17:51.606
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, I actually.
17:51.646 --> 17:52.766
[SPEAKER_01]: I really am.
17:53.827 --> 17:54.527
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a teller book.
17:54.787 --> 17:55.967
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, okay, shall I?
17:56.007 --> 17:57.728
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, tell me as much as you can share it.
17:57.748 --> 17:58.428
[SPEAKER_00]: Do you know what?
17:58.648 --> 17:59.568
[SPEAKER_00]: I had a client the other day.
17:59.588 --> 18:02.849
[SPEAKER_00]: No, I don't want to show you my hair too much because I know you'll be jealous, please.
18:03.549 --> 18:08.053
[SPEAKER_01]: All right, all right, don't come for my inches, bitch.
18:08.754 --> 18:10.115
[SPEAKER_01]: All right, it's wringles.
18:10.135 --> 18:11.456
[SPEAKER_01]: Your hair does look really great.
18:11.536 --> 18:12.257
[SPEAKER_01]: I know it does, thank you.
18:12.277 --> 18:12.597
[SPEAKER_01]: Today again.
18:13.538 --> 18:18.342
[SPEAKER_00]: And God, I'm at an author, like, at the salon.
18:18.923 --> 18:27.010
[SPEAKER_00]: And they said to me not to tell people too much about my book because I can't remember why they said that because I'm such an open book.
18:27.310 --> 18:27.590
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
18:27.950 --> 18:28.291
[SPEAKER_00]: Literally.
18:28.531 --> 18:29.452
[SPEAKER_01]: Because the book could change.
18:30.179 --> 18:33.183
[SPEAKER_00]: It could change if it could influence it.
18:34.104 --> 18:41.253
[SPEAKER_00]: But I started writing this book years ago after my breakup years ago with my long-term ex-boyfriend.
18:41.814 --> 18:43.456
[SPEAKER_00]: And it was the first time I was on dating apps.
18:44.377 --> 18:45.158
[SPEAKER_01]: And you were alive?
18:45.899 --> 18:46.119
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
18:46.359 --> 18:46.700
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, wow.
18:46.920 --> 18:48.001
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it was the first time.
18:48.021 --> 18:48.742
[SPEAKER_00]: I was like 30.
18:49.584 --> 18:51.765
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh my god, but also like three years ago you said right?
18:51.785 --> 19:07.670
[SPEAKER_00]: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
19:12.272 --> 19:15.735
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's got all these musicians and artists on it.
19:15.755 --> 19:17.196
[SPEAKER_00]: And I was like, ooh, that sounds cool.
19:17.277 --> 19:17.997
[SPEAKER_00]: And then I went on it.
19:18.057 --> 19:19.619
[SPEAKER_00]: And it was like, there was like clowns.
19:19.639 --> 19:23.782
[SPEAKER_01]: Meanwhile, meanwhile, me on Grinders, I'm like ducking Madonna.
19:24.143 --> 19:27.325
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm ducking Grinders, but around since the dawn I've been trying.
19:27.386 --> 19:28.587
[SPEAKER_01]: And it's gotten so bad.
19:28.847 --> 19:29.547
[SPEAKER_01]: It's got so bad.
19:29.567 --> 19:30.909
[SPEAKER_00]: It never changed, though, did it?
19:31.109 --> 19:31.729
[SPEAKER_01]: It just got worse.
19:32.130 --> 19:33.331
[SPEAKER_01]: It just got worse now, like.
19:33.371 --> 19:34.132
[SPEAKER_01]: Now, like, there's...
19:34.832 --> 19:40.418
[SPEAKER_01]: like you can always speak to like 10 people or you have to pay and I don't like the paying thing.
19:40.438 --> 19:44.643
[SPEAKER_01]: So whole thing also on the pictures that the men send you like they're not saved.
19:44.683 --> 19:47.506
[SPEAKER_01]: They become locked after where I'm just like, but you want to save them?
19:47.686 --> 19:48.367
[SPEAKER_00]: I'd like to look back.
19:49.997 --> 19:51.978
[SPEAKER_01]: Sometimes, you know, I'll be like, oh, I remember you.
19:52.218 --> 19:53.218
[SPEAKER_01]: You were nice to me.
19:53.419 --> 19:54.559
[SPEAKER_01]: You were not.
19:55.479 --> 19:56.380
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like a serial killer.
19:56.400 --> 19:57.000
[SPEAKER_01]: I like trophies.
19:57.160 --> 19:57.980
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
19:59.481 --> 20:00.461
[SPEAKER_01]: Usually I take credit card.
20:00.641 --> 20:02.482
[SPEAKER_01]: No, no, I'm not.
20:02.582 --> 20:03.443
[SPEAKER_00]: I can't get a date.
20:03.643 --> 20:04.043
[SPEAKER_00]: Really?
20:04.163 --> 20:04.543
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
20:05.463 --> 20:06.304
[SPEAKER_00]: I thought I had one.
20:08.005 --> 20:10.186
[SPEAKER_01]: You're a delusion, not mine.
20:11.487 --> 20:12.488
[SPEAKER_00]: So I've given up on them now.
20:13.229 --> 20:16.631
[SPEAKER_00]: But my book back then was, oh my god, there's this thing called Hinge.
20:16.952 --> 20:18.212
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, I'm going to sign up.
20:18.493 --> 20:22.115
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm going to date anyone and everyone to find out what my type is.
20:22.196 --> 20:22.556
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
20:22.576 --> 20:23.537
[SPEAKER_00]: Because I don't really know.
20:23.557 --> 20:25.818
[SPEAKER_00]: I never did a lot of dating and I was with my ex for seven years.
20:26.319 --> 20:27.079
[SPEAKER_00]: And blah blah blah.
20:27.480 --> 20:29.261
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I dated all these awful men.
20:30.242 --> 20:31.703
[SPEAKER_00]: And my book was going to be cool.
20:31.723 --> 20:33.084
[SPEAKER_00]: Is it still going?
20:33.424 --> 20:33.764
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
20:34.685 --> 20:43.536
[SPEAKER_00]: My book was going to be called Memoirs of a Girl who just wants to have fun because on my profile I just wanted to have fun I was looking for a relationship.
20:44.077 --> 20:46.741
[SPEAKER_00]: I just wanted to don't fun dates.
20:46.861 --> 20:47.141
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
20:47.261 --> 20:47.922
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and I want to make
20:49.743 --> 20:57.506
[SPEAKER_00]: But I still had all these awful men, like the gaslighting, the gatekeeping, the girl bossing.
20:57.526 --> 20:59.887
[SPEAKER_00]: And I was like, I'm not looking for anything serious.
20:59.907 --> 21:01.448
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, I know.
21:01.588 --> 21:02.548
[SPEAKER_00]: I already told you this.
21:03.069 --> 21:04.769
[SPEAKER_00]: That's an win.
21:05.530 --> 21:05.890
[SPEAKER_01]: What?
21:07.250 --> 21:08.631
[SPEAKER_01]: to like a bit of a log.
21:08.871 --> 21:10.791
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a memoir, right?
21:10.851 --> 21:11.111
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
21:11.471 --> 21:23.655
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a memoir and each chapter was going to be a guy and this was 2019 I started writing it and then I had my last ex and I was like oh my god it's all going to lead up to this perfect relationship.
21:23.715 --> 21:24.295
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, yeah.
21:24.355 --> 21:28.216
[SPEAKER_00]: The dream has happened and then that came crashing down
21:28.496 --> 21:29.776
[SPEAKER_00]: And that is a juicy story.
21:30.857 --> 21:31.937
[SPEAKER_00]: It is a very juicy story.
21:31.957 --> 21:32.817
[SPEAKER_01]: We're going to get you to share.
21:32.837 --> 21:34.797
[SPEAKER_01]: I think you shared a little bit of it with me.
21:34.837 --> 21:35.838
[SPEAKER_01]: I think I shared too much.
21:36.158 --> 21:36.398
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
21:36.858 --> 21:37.318
[SPEAKER_01]: All right.
21:37.838 --> 21:39.258
[SPEAKER_00]: For someone who wasn't supposed to talk about that book.
21:39.278 --> 21:39.858
[SPEAKER_01]: You said too much.
21:40.138 --> 21:41.019
[SPEAKER_00]: I said too much.
21:41.319 --> 21:43.579
[SPEAKER_00]: And now I'm in a place where I'm like, OK, I have two things I want to write.
21:43.599 --> 21:44.519
[SPEAKER_00]: I want to write the memoir.
21:45.500 --> 21:50.161
[SPEAKER_00]: And I want to write a self-help book, which is why I want to go sit in there for the self-help thing.
21:50.921 --> 21:51.861
[SPEAKER_00]: But I can't sit still.
21:52.521 --> 21:53.481
[SPEAKER_00]: For too long, this is nice.
21:53.841 --> 21:55.582
[SPEAKER_01]: But in a room where you're supposed to sit down.
21:57.002 --> 22:01.365
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, you'll get what you need 20 minutes and then AJ like at the end of this year I want to be an author.
22:01.865 --> 22:03.026
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, published.
22:03.306 --> 22:04.346
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, sell out.
22:05.587 --> 22:06.868
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, doable, achievable.
22:07.188 --> 22:08.489
[SPEAKER_00]: If you can make this happen with the public.
22:08.589 --> 22:09.349
[SPEAKER_01]: It's the personally.
22:09.509 --> 22:09.830
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
22:09.990 --> 22:10.710
[SPEAKER_01]: All right, girl.
22:11.931 --> 22:12.651
[SPEAKER_01]: I'll do my best.
22:12.851 --> 22:13.212
[SPEAKER_01]: I promise.
22:13.252 --> 22:14.973
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, for exposure.
22:15.013 --> 22:15.733
[SPEAKER_00]: I have written it.
22:15.773 --> 22:16.013
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
22:17.394 --> 22:19.255
[SPEAKER_00]: And I have an agent and I'm publisher.
22:19.275 --> 22:20.736
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm just, you know, a vibe.
22:20.816 --> 22:22.137
[SPEAKER_00]: I have a few not a few notes.
22:22.517 --> 22:42.191
[SPEAKER_00]: actually what we should do right are we sure we call authoring a book we should we should co-work in a for a bookshop because I think writing it within a bookshop will be very inspiring well I so I'm a for a book now in the weekdays usually like in weekdays working with my friend Victor so you just come join us is it a day?
22:46.349 --> 22:47.110
[SPEAKER_01]: It's a play day.
22:47.230 --> 22:47.891
[SPEAKER_01]: It's a play day.
22:47.911 --> 22:48.591
[SPEAKER_01]: All right.
22:48.651 --> 22:49.412
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, you know what?
22:49.492 --> 22:52.494
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm sorry to think that maybe now it wasn't might me.
22:54.335 --> 22:55.817
[SPEAKER_01]: I better not be a chapter in this book.
22:55.857 --> 22:56.697
[SPEAKER_01]: Hear me.
22:56.737 --> 22:57.098
[SPEAKER_01]: Hear me.
22:57.418 --> 22:58.459
[SPEAKER_01]: Actually, I better be two chapters.
23:00.240 --> 23:00.800
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, thank you so much.
23:00.820 --> 23:01.721
[SPEAKER_00]: Do you want to talk?
23:02.061 --> 23:02.522
[SPEAKER_01]: I'll take two.
23:03.122 --> 23:03.482
[SPEAKER_01]: Just too.
23:03.902 --> 23:06.823
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not very much that coffee wasn't that exciting.
23:06.863 --> 23:08.363
[SPEAKER_01]: I feel like we really got to know each other.
23:08.483 --> 23:11.184
[SPEAKER_01]: We went through a whole life to live together.
23:11.224 --> 23:13.004
[SPEAKER_01]: But okay, yes.
23:13.124 --> 23:14.185
[SPEAKER_01]: Now let's run this out.
23:14.245 --> 23:14.405
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
23:14.425 --> 23:17.685
[SPEAKER_01]: Can you give me your where can people find you have social media with more?
23:18.005 --> 23:22.906
[SPEAKER_00]: At Kaila Shanti or it's Kaila Shanti on TikTok.
23:23.187 --> 23:23.587
[SPEAKER_00]: No wait.
23:24.067 --> 23:28.388
[SPEAKER_00]: At Kaila Shanti on Instagram or it's Kaila Shanti on TikTok.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Give us spelling.
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[SPEAKER_00]: K-A-E-L-A, S-H-A-N-T-I.
23:34.331 --> 23:37.394
[SPEAKER_01]: Google that, you will find her on the internet.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you so much, and is it not called it not, is it my lid on there?
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[SPEAKER_00]: What's your lid on there?
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[SPEAKER_00]: It comes.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Let's talk of air.
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[UNKNOWN]: Let's talk of air.
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[SPEAKER_01]: All right.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Goodbye.
