WEBVTT
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Hey, it's Paul with the Psych2 Practice Podcast, and I wanted to give a quick update on things.
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So, for those longtime listeners, this might actually sound familiar.
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So, we're doing a throwback episode before the back to school season.
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Going back through, I think a lot of the information is still very timely and relevant, and wanting to really kind of capitalize on this time of the year and trying to provide some support.
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The other piece is kind of why we're doing a throwback episode.
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Ray and I are busy behind the scenes.
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We have some exciting announcements coming for Psych2 Practice, and we're really on the cusp of it.
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So as we're spending our time really fine-tuning that, we're hoping you enjoyed today's throwback episode.
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School's back by summer.
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Hey everyone, and welcome to the Psych2 Practice Podcast.
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Your one-stop for practical and useful clinical information, masterful insight from experts in the field, and a guide to daily living.
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I'm your host, Paul Wagner, and joining me is Greg Christner.
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And today we have a Living Psyched episode, just in time, I think, for the uh the start of the school year, we're talking about back to school.
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Oh, yeah, this is uh, you know, kind of one timely, but you know, I think a lot of us are going through it.
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I think you know, today just kind of talking about what are some tips about going back to school, whether you're uh starting kindergarten or you're going to college or in middle school or high school, I think we want to talk about some general things that just are good for that transition back to school and maybe help set up kids for success.
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And, you know, one of the things that I think is crucial for this, especially as we're coming off of the summer, is talking about sleep.
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And, you know, sleep is not a new topic.
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Um, it's probably one of the thoughts that, you know, every parent and hopefully the college, you know, high school age or college-age kids are thinking of too.
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But, you know, we don't have the greatest sleep habits or sleep hygiene over the summer.
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And so as we're coming back into this structured area of our lives, um, I think really making sure that yeah, I think at especially in the beginning, like almost a minimum of eight hours of sleep, or at least the we're giving the capacity for eight hours of sleep, whether we're, you know, tossing and turning, you know, that that's another story.
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But at least we're kind of resting our body and kind of getting set up to then give ourselves that time.
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Right Ray, what are your thoughts?
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Yeah, I, you know, I think that that's um, I think that the starting point in eight hours.
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I mean, that's that's what we've been we hear our whole life, right?
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We should have eight hours of sleep.
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Yeah, I I look at it as, yeah, I think this is going to be a recurring comment throughout the episode is really what's that sleep routine?
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Like, you know, as far as having a consistent time that we're going to bed, having a consistent time we're getting up, you know, if we need time before we go to sleep, what's that look like?
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But yeah, I mean, I think we undervalue sleep sometimes.
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And, you know, even, you know, and again, we're gonna maybe talk about this a little later, but even the idea of devices in bed, you know, how does that affect sleep?
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And, you know, I I see my own kids have done it, and I know other kids who, you know, maybe have their phone, it's their alarm, but you know, they're watching YouTube videos before they go to sleep or whatever it might be.
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And I think, you know, not that we have to eliminate those things, but how do we manage them in a way that it's not impacting us getting to sleep at a good time and and being aware what do what time do we really need to get up so we're not rushing out the door?
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Absolutely.
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And, you know, I I think I'm I'm a bit hypocritical in preaching sleep.
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And, you know, I definitely have some work to do on my own sleep hygiene.
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Um, you know, my wife, it is a priority for her, and I see the benefits of it.
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And, you know, I I know I can tell the difference between, you know, a five, six hour night and, you know, one of those nights when I get a solid eight hours of sleep, I'm waking up feeling refreshed.
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And, you know, I think that a solid sleep routine can be hard to maintain at times, but especially here in the very beginning, I think we're just giving ourselves the best opportunity or the best chance to be successful if we're really advocating or pushing for for those eight hours.
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Yeah, and and I think, you know, I would even go as far as saying, I think people need to know really the amount of sleep they need.
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Because, you know, I I might be good at eight hours, but you know, there are some adolescents that need more sleep than that.
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And, you know, those who have teenagers, you know, it a lot of times they're not getting enough sleep.
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And there's research to say, you know, even nine or 10 hours is what's needed in that that period of development.
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So, you know, making sure we're we're kind of you know paying attention to that.
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And that, you know, if we have to be up at six o'clock in the morning, then what's that really mean for a true bedtime?
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And and maybe let's just start eight hours back, but we might have to adjust that as the the year goes on.
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Absolutely.
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And, you know, I I think when we're waking up that morning of hopefully well rested, but I think the conversation doesn't start but uh stop at sleep either.
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I I think it's also talking about just a good morning routine.
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And, you know, hopefully we're able to practice that here as we're kind of entering into the final countdown before the school year actually starts.
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But, you know, hey, do we know kind of the the tempo of the morning and how do we make sure that we're checking all the boxes of it?
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Yeah, I like the word tempo.
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I think that's a that's a a good way to put it.
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Great.
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What is our you know, listen, I I know when I am rushed in the morning and I fly out the door and I'm just scrambling to get into my office and my day starts.
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It really is not usually a good day.
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It usually starts out really bad.
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So yeah, what you know, what is the tempo?
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How much time do we really need to get ready?
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And again, I think a lot of times the problem we run into with whether it's back to school or whatever, when we're doing these morning routines is we think of it as how can we sleep the longest that we need to sleep?
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And instead we need to think of, okay, how much time do I need for that morning?
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And what's my true wake up time?
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And then find our sleep moving backward.
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And and you kind of had a good quote that you you were talking about earlier that I that kind of got me thinking in that way.
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Yeah.
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Uh a guest from uh just just a few episodes ago, or it may have even been last episode, uh, you know, uh depends on uh the order that we're posting.
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But Dr.
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Ari Tuchman, you know, he shared that he uh he has a lot of his quotes that he likes to say.
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And uh I I'm going to probably misquote, but hopefully capture the idea of um if we're having a rough morning, then it's a nighttime issue.
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You know, and he's talking about ADHD, but that is just a universal truth, I think.
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Uh, you know, if we are staying up till midnight expecting ourselves to wake up at 5 36, it it's it's gonna be rough.
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And you know, especially if it's poor sleep hygiene leading up to that, yeah.
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No, so making sure that we're setting ourselves up for success.
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And I do I love that idea of like, let's pick, you know, the the point that we're needing to really kind of I know I need to be leaving at this point in time to be making it to work or to be making it to school.
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So that's really the anchor point that drives my, you know, my bedtime and like we're it's a different tempo, you know.
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It is, and I think then then it allows us to kind of then move into this other area of of kind of what we need to prepare for, and that's making sure we're also getting good nutrition.
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Yeah, I mean, how many kids I see who are like, oh, I don't eat breakfast, I don't have time to eat breakfast in the morning.
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And I'm like, you know, we talk so much about how you know having good nutrition is such fuel for our brain and for our bodies.
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And we have someone who's not eating till lunchtime, and you know, I've had kids who've had you know super early lunches at school, but then also some that are very late.
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You know, I I I always joke around and say, you know, the the Snickers uh commercials got it right, you know, with the whole idea of being hangry or um, and maybe it's not in a mood way, but it could be with an attention way.
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It could be with just how well we're really, you know, feeling motivated to get things done.
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So, you know, I think setting up that sleep routine and then that morning routine gives us the time, you know, it doesn't mean we have to have, you know, bacon, eggs, pancakes for breakfast, but enough that we can get some nutrition where it starts our day off in a good way.
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Absolutely.
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And I know that, you know, not only for our students returning back to school, but for for parents as well, the morning is hectic.
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And, you know, whether it's, you know, facilitating them getting ready or getting ready for work ourselves, like sometimes we're at the door before our kids are needing to leave.
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Actually, that's kind of the issue that um my wife and I are running into where um kind of with the schedule now and you know, with my uh with my oldest being able to drive in, we're both leaving before they have to leave.
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And so we don't really want to kick them out, you know, so that way the house is getting locked up and shut down.
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But then that means that I'm not necessarily there to help facilitate making sure that they're eating.
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So, you know, sometimes we can be creative.
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Like I I came home the other day and there's a little lazy Susan sitting on our kitchen counter now, and it's gonna be the breakfast lazy Susan that's you know, the we can spin it around and you know, you can pick what you want.
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And I'm sure they're gonna get tired of things in that, but you know, it's some we just have to be creative in some ways to make it work.
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But I do think oftentimes if we pause, we can kind of take the moment to really make sure we're we're meeting some of the needs.
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And, you know, I think when it comes to breakfast, something is better than nothing.
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Yeah, I agree.
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And I, you know, I I just had this conversation today with a parent about, you know, they they were like, well, you know, with school starting, you know, he's always running late.
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And it's his responsibility to get breakfast.
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And if he doesn't get it, he doesn't get it.
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And I said, you know what?
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I think sometimes as parents, you know, my teenage daughter has run late many, many mornings.
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And sometimes, even as a parent, I go, okay, listen, I'm gonna throw something together for you.
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And maybe it's simply putting a toaster waffle in.
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I mean, it doesn't have to, again, be anything elaborate, or maybe it's a protein bar or something.
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But I I love that idea of you know having something available that's easy, easily accessible.
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And, you know, we're talking about kids going to school, but let's face it, we've all done that even as adults.
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You know, I've rushed out of the in the morning and went, oh man, I just need to grab something.
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So having those things available, yeah, good start for the day.
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And you know, then it kind of leads to making sure we have nutrition throughout the day.
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Absolutely.
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Well, and you know, Ray, we're talking about sleep and we're talking about nutrition, which, you know, uh applicable everywhere.
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But I almost want to kind of get a little bit specific about like you know, expectations for school.
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And I and I think, you know, as we're talking about how to, you know, how to prepare well for school, having accurate and realistic expectations for, you know, how are we getting there?
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Do we have our materials that we're gonna be needing?
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And making sure that we're not kind of setting maybe either too high of expectations of, you know, we have to have everything right and we have to, you know, this needs to be a perfect day.
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And I I think most first days of school, it's hard for it to be a perfect day.
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But I also I don't want to undershoot it either.
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I don't want to be like, ah, I'll figure it out.
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Like it's not a big deal.
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Because then I think we're just kind of almost inviting in stress and pressure later on.
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So I think it's about, you know, really kind of recognizing what is expected from school and uh kind of call upon, you know, John Murphy.
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I think his name's kind of, you know, since he's been here, been ingrained in most episodes since, you know, looking for like a solution of like what does a good start to the school year look like?
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And how do we know that we're achieving that?
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Yeah.
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I I I like the idea of expectations.
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And, you know, some of this goes back to the executive function things we've talked about, you know, with just making sure you have your things that you need.
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But, you know, I I encourage kids all the time to do that.
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And and again, even adults, even from work, is not only what do we expect from the school year, but even every morning, like what do I expect my day to be like today?
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What do I, you know, what do I want to get out of it?
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And and it's interesting, I think, having a you know, starting with a mindset of what the day is going to be like.
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And that doesn't mean, you know, you can you can predict everything that's gonna happen, but um, you know, what do you hope to accomplish?
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Like, what do you want to make sure you get done?
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You know, I I have a a guy that I see for therapy who's a senior, and you know, we just started last year with this and we'll enter it again this year's, you know, that's that's one of the things we did is like, what are you gonna set up for yourself?
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So he might be something simple as him going, okay, today I have a lot going on in the evening.
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So I'm gonna get my my expectation is I'll have all my homework done before before five o'clock today.
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Wow, that's a yeah, that's a pretty ambitious goal.
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But now he knows.
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Now it's like, okay, I have something set because I know I'm going to the football game or whatever in the evening.
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So I want to have that done.
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It's interesting how when he sets it, it takes the pressure off.
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And it's almost like he's like, okay, like I know what I have to get done today.
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Or, you know, kids maybe who school's frustrating for, even going in and going, okay, I'm just going to keep a my a positive mindset today.
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I'm going to go in and my expectation is just going to try my best.
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Sometimes just those little things set us up for a better And, you know, it reminds me of of something and you know, on and off in mental health courses, you you hear about it, but the idea of subjective goals versus subjective goals.
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And, you know, and I I kind of use a subjective language there earlier of like, you know, how do I have a good day?
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Uh or, you know, if that's my goal, I want to have a good day, but like, what does that even mean?
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You know, that's the same as like, oh, you know, I want to, I want to eat healthier.
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Right.
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What does that mean versus objectively?
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I can say, I want to have my homework done before five o'clock.
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And so that's a very clear, if five o'clock is there, I can look at it and say, Well, have I achieved that goal?
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Yes or no.
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Right.
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And, you know, I think if we're setting, especially short-term goals for ourselves to kind of to use almost as like checkpoints to see how we're doing, those objective content or that objective content goals are really, really valuable because it really lets us have a more accurate view of how are things going.
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And, you know, if I'm consistently not hitting those goals, why?
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You know, am I expecting too much?
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Am I not putting up and you know, going back to executive function?
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Am I not activating what I should be doing?
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Or um, you know, it's am I not prioritizing right?
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So I think, you know, just good goal setting skills and good goal setting in general is it's a helpful thing here.
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I mean, I think it helps with behavioral activation for sure.
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You know, it definitely gets us going.
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And and again, I I also like them just for the mindset piece.
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You know, I it's yeah, I remember being in college and having days where I just didn't want to go to class and do something.
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And you know, I would always tell myself, okay, my goal today is I'm just gonna learn one thing.
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That's it.
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Like I I'm probably not gonna learn everything that I'm gonna learn one thing.
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And it it's that sounds so simple to say that to yourself.
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And it's like, okay, really?
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Like I'm only gonna get one little piece of information out of my day, but re reframing it in a way where it wasn't overwhelming, where it wasn't like, man, I'm tired, I'm never gonna get through these classes.
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And I went, okay, if I just learn one thing today was a successful day.
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The reality is I probably learned 20 things, but I gave my per myself some permission.
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I changed my mindset.
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And I think we have to do that with kids is you know, really kind of focusing on trying to just that expectation being something a positive direction.
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Absolutely.
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Well, and you know, I I think that expectation and and being present, like, you know, throughout the school day.
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And I I think the school day, you know, when the school day ends, though, that's not the end of the conversation here for you know setting up a you know, good what is a successful start to the school year.
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I think it's also really important what happens after school for us.
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Right.
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Yeah.
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And I mean, I I think again, we're we're gonna keep repeating the word routine, but yeah, what what's the routine look like after school?
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Um, you know, even knowing when we're gonna study, where we're gonna study, but but I even think it's important to do routines beyond that.
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You know, I I I know school for some kids, it's sitting all day, and that can be so mentally taxing.
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And what do we do as a physical outlet?
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Like, when do we incorporate that?
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Like when you get home, like what do you need to do?
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Maybe it's going outside, and that can be part of our school day routine is making sure we're getting some physical activity.
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We've been sitting in school all day.
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So, what can we set up to make sure that we're we're doing that?
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So it doesn't have to all be about study skills after school.
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That's something else, but we can do, you know, even start with something physical.
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And, you know, uh a lot of especially the the fall time sports are now like, you know, I think most of my the student athletes that that I see have already started their practices.
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And, you know, I think they're like the the coaches and the the team is kind of taking a page out of it like they're already setting a routine, they're already setting an expectation of, hey, at this time, this is what you're gonna be doing, this is what to expect.
00:19:23.869 --> 00:19:31.629
It'll probably get a little bit more intense in the school year or you know, maybe right before a game or a match, like you know, it's gonna be refining skills.
00:19:32.029 --> 00:19:35.229
But you know, it talk about a great physical outlet.
00:19:35.389 --> 00:19:38.669
And certainly, you know, I know sports is not for everyone.
00:19:38.749 --> 00:19:45.789
And you know, I know myself during high school, like it or doing my school year, I didn't really want to do it, but I always felt really good afterwards.
00:19:45.869 --> 00:20:02.109
So I think it's a worthy conversation to bring up um if we can encourage uh interactions and you know, whether it's extracurricular with sports um through the school system or outside of that, but great social outlet and social connections as well, you know, and uh it is not the only way.
00:20:02.589 --> 00:20:11.229
You know, I I think that if you were to put like some sort of calorie tracker on some of the some of the students that are involved in being, they might be, you know, they might be higher than certain athletes.
00:20:11.469 --> 00:20:11.789
Absolutely.
00:20:12.029 --> 00:20:13.389
There's a lot of physicality.
00:20:13.549 --> 00:20:15.389
So just that idea of being active.
00:20:15.469 --> 00:20:25.469
Um, and I think school provides a great opportunity, and especially if like, you know, your your child has been kind of kicking around the idea, you can meet a social need as well as the physical need.
00:20:25.549 --> 00:20:28.349
And so it I think it's a worthy conversation to start.
00:20:28.589 --> 00:20:31.149
Yeah, and it and I agree, it doesn't have to be athletics.
00:20:31.229 --> 00:20:34.029
You could do theater and be exhausted physically, right?
00:20:34.269 --> 00:20:39.949
I mean, it's yeah it can be anything, but I think the key is what is that physical piece?
00:20:40.029 --> 00:20:42.429
Like, what do we do to get our body moving?
00:20:42.669 --> 00:20:51.229
It can be going to a walk on a walk with your parents, it can be going for a bike ride, it could be just running around the yard, or it could be something more structured.
00:20:51.389 --> 00:20:58.429
I mean, I think it's we we have so many options, but the the key to it is how do we make it part of the day?
00:20:58.589 --> 00:21:01.309
It's really easy to just come home and want to watch TV.
00:21:01.469 --> 00:21:10.029
It's really easy to want to take a nap, but we know after sitting all day that physical activity of any sort is just good for kids.
00:21:10.109 --> 00:21:11.709
It's a good reset for them.
00:21:11.949 --> 00:21:15.389
And then we move into the other parts of the routine.
00:21:15.469 --> 00:21:19.549
You know, we we do have study time that kids have to put in place.
00:21:19.629 --> 00:21:24.589
And, you know, there's homework and those types of things and relaxation.
00:21:24.829 --> 00:21:29.309
You know, what is what's the time to how do you just chill out a little bit?
00:21:29.469 --> 00:21:32.189
And that can come in all kinds of forms, you know.
00:21:32.269 --> 00:21:34.669
I I think it really depends on the kid.
00:21:34.749 --> 00:21:41.549
I mean, I think probably the most popular that I hear is they want their downtime to involve a screen of some sort.
00:21:41.709 --> 00:21:47.469
Um and right, I think we have to be prepared for just about any kid that can overhear us to be telling their parent to turn it off.
00:21:47.709 --> 00:21:59.709
But um, you know, we're talking about routines and uh as much, you know, as there might be that craving and that desire for screens, I think it's also something that we have to be mindful about setting a routine with up as well.
00:21:59.869 --> 00:22:05.469
And you were kind of sharing right before we we uh started recording, what was this the study that you were referencing?
00:22:05.949 --> 00:22:14.749
Actually, just the American Academy of Pediatrics has a report that they put out that you know, what is the recommended use for screen time?
00:22:14.989 --> 00:22:23.069
Now, this gets a little gray because let's face it, our kids are on screens a lot during the school days and after school.
00:22:23.229 --> 00:22:27.229
Like we now have you know, laptops or tablets that they're bringing home.
00:22:27.549 --> 00:22:39.549
But essentially their their kind of suggestion and one I I would encourage as well is during on school days, one hour of down screen time.
00:22:39.709 --> 00:22:50.109
So meaning that it is things that they're doing for enjoyment, video games, watching YouTube videos, whatever it might be, that it's a one-hour limit on school nights.
00:22:50.269 --> 00:22:55.869
And I will say, uh, kids that we've been able to do that with, it really has helped.
00:22:56.109 --> 00:22:57.229
They haven't liked it.
00:22:57.389 --> 00:22:59.469
That doesn't mean it's a positive thing, but it's helped.
00:22:59.549 --> 00:23:03.629
And when we, you know, how does these things how do these how do these things link together?
00:23:03.789 --> 00:23:12.909
Well, you know, if you have some physical activity or some social activity that you're doing during the day, that lessens your time on the screen naturally.
00:23:13.069 --> 00:23:18.989
So we we can kind of truncate the amount of time by simply adding other things into it.
00:23:19.149 --> 00:23:23.229
But that being said, you know, on the weekends, that can be extended.
00:23:23.389 --> 00:23:31.149
Now, again, American Academy of Pediatrics, they suggest no more than two hours, even on non school days during the school year.
00:23:31.229 --> 00:23:31.469
I know.
00:23:32.109 --> 00:23:34.509
That would be tough for some of the kids that I see.
00:23:34.669 --> 00:23:38.349
You know, I don't know that has to be a hard, fast rule all the time.
00:23:38.509 --> 00:23:42.349
It it but it is a guideline we should really, you know, I think try to achieve.
00:23:42.509 --> 00:23:45.549
And again, getting involved in other things will help that.
00:23:45.789 --> 00:23:47.629
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00:23:47.869 --> 00:24:00.269
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00:24:14.189 --> 00:24:16.189
And now back to our conversation.
00:24:16.509 --> 00:24:31.389
And I think especially for our, you know, if if we have some students that were able to have that more like rational conversation where they're able to recognize that I don't like that there's this limitation, but I actually can hear that there's a value and a benefit.
00:24:31.549 --> 00:24:37.229
So, you know, I I don't think necessarily lecturing in the moment, especially if they're pushing back against it.
00:24:37.389 --> 00:24:50.669
But if we're talking about why these routines are in place and what the value of it is, um, you know, being able to share that, you know, it's going to have a positive impact on mood, on, you know, our ability to concentrate and focus.
00:24:50.749 --> 00:24:58.989
And it it frees us up for other healthy activities because you know, and I know myself at that age, I just wanted to play video games.
00:24:59.149 --> 00:25:00.669
You know, that that was all I wanted to do.
00:25:00.829 --> 00:25:03.709
And just because I wanted it didn't mean it was the best thing for me.
00:25:04.029 --> 00:25:07.629
Yeah, I mean, it's I I guess it's just like eating your vegetables, right?
00:25:09.469 --> 00:25:09.709
Right.
00:25:09.789 --> 00:25:18.829
It's but now, I mean, I I think that's that that piece is, you know, it is a hard conversation to have rationally with with some kids.
00:25:18.989 --> 00:25:22.989
And that doesn't mean we don't work to still set a good routine.
00:25:23.229 --> 00:25:30.589
And, you know, again, the success I've seen isn't hasn't necessarily been about long conversations with kids.
00:25:30.669 --> 00:25:35.629
It's about setting the routine that naturally makes that hour available.
00:25:35.789 --> 00:25:42.109
And it is, that means there's there's got to be other things going on, and we have to set times for those things.
00:25:42.269 --> 00:25:44.109
And it's a great way to end the day.
00:25:44.189 --> 00:25:52.749
Like, I mean, I think it's great, whether it's video games or YouTube or whatever they want to do, I don't know that's a bad way to wind down.
00:25:53.229 --> 00:25:59.469
And, you know, then that leads us to another routine, of course, where we have to then start preparing how do we get to bed?
00:25:59.629 --> 00:26:01.789
But that that can be part of it.
00:26:01.949 --> 00:26:07.949
Um, you know, I I I often will will tell kids like, when's the best time to play video games?
00:26:08.109 --> 00:26:14.749
And you know, what's the time that if we're gonna use this and this is gonna be part of your day, if you had to pick a time, when is it?
00:26:14.909 --> 00:26:16.989
And I've had parents go, What why does it matter?
00:26:17.149 --> 00:26:20.829
Well, most of these games are social experiences for kids too.
00:26:21.069 --> 00:26:35.709
So, you know, if they want to play whatever it is, Fortnite or whatever, and all their friends are on from five to six and they can't get on until seven to eight, it it might be different for them.
00:26:35.869 --> 00:26:38.909
So it's you know, so let the kids be part of the schedule.
00:26:39.069 --> 00:26:41.869
Let them be part of, okay, what's a good time to do it?
00:26:42.029 --> 00:26:50.349
And um, you know, again, they would love two hours, but if they have some say in it, maybe there's a little bit more compliance.
00:26:50.509 --> 00:26:55.469
And maybe for those who are using it excessively, maybe we have to work toward that.
00:26:55.629 --> 00:27:02.989
Um, you know, if they're playing three hours a night and we all of a sudden say, okay, now you're only allowed one, we're gonna get resistance.
00:27:03.389 --> 00:27:19.069
But maybe if we go, okay, we're gonna cut back 15 minutes a night, um, or 15 minutes, you know, we'll cut back 15 minutes, do that for two nights, cut back 15 minutes, and kind of wean down to that hour, might be an easier kind of transition.
00:27:19.789 --> 00:27:35.389
And certainly I am not trying to go against the American Pediatric Association, but there's gosh, you know, our Ari Tuckman is just getting a ton of screen time here, but um he talks about more for older teens running failable experiments.
00:27:35.629 --> 00:27:44.829
And so, you know, if you're it, I would say, you know, high school age is probably where this is starting to be appropriate, but like, no, I can handle it.
00:27:44.909 --> 00:27:46.509
No, I can be responsible for this.
00:27:46.669 --> 00:27:48.749
Like, let them prove it, you know.
00:27:48.989 --> 00:28:00.829
And if they can and they're able to maintain social engagements, they're able to get the physical activity, they're able to, you know, regulate emotions and they're able to kind of hit all of those markers, okay.
00:28:01.069 --> 00:28:05.949
But chances are like if we give them that opportunity and then they're not being successful, then we're not the bad guys.
00:28:06.029 --> 00:28:10.269
And then like we can kind of collaborate and say, okay, well, how do we work to maybe give you this opportunity?
00:28:10.429 --> 00:28:18.109
How do we kind of strengthen these skills a little bit more so meeting our needs and finding a better harmony, you know, in our day-to-day routine.
00:28:18.189 --> 00:28:25.389
So that way either you're recognizing that an hour is probably actually the the best here, or hey, you know, you you're doing really well.
00:28:25.549 --> 00:28:27.549
Here's an hour and a half or something along those lines.
00:28:27.709 --> 00:28:27.869
Right.
00:28:28.109 --> 00:28:28.189
Yeah.
00:28:28.269 --> 00:28:36.589
And and I I I mean, I I like the idea of experiments and and it is really about what's the right harmony for each kid.
00:28:36.669 --> 00:28:38.029
And and that might vary.
00:28:38.189 --> 00:28:39.309
Like, I mean, I agree.
00:28:39.469 --> 00:28:47.469
I mean, I think the the guidelines that we see, sure, that's what we hope, but some kids can handle more, and that's okay.
00:28:47.629 --> 00:28:52.909
And I, you know, and I think you know, guidelines are great sometimes, though.
00:28:53.149 --> 00:29:06.189
You know, I've even had kids where we worked with parents and said, listen, like if they really can kind of pull off a good schedule, then maybe on a Friday night, okay, maybe you do play three hours.
00:29:06.349 --> 00:29:09.949
Maybe we're above an hour above what the recommended guidelines are.
00:29:10.189 --> 00:29:15.549
That might not be a bad thing, but it's in the kids' control to show us they can handle it.
00:29:15.709 --> 00:29:17.789
And and you know, you mentioned teenagers.
00:29:17.869 --> 00:29:24.109
I even think we could trickle that down even for younger kids and saying, hey, let's let's let's give it a try.
00:29:24.189 --> 00:29:25.549
And if it works, wonderful.
00:29:25.629 --> 00:29:28.109
And if not, then we have to make adjustments.
00:29:28.349 --> 00:29:28.589
Yeah.
00:29:28.829 --> 00:29:32.429
All right, I think then that brings us back up to uh to sleep.
00:29:32.669 --> 00:29:36.109
Yeah, it's uh it's it's where we start and where we end.
00:29:36.269 --> 00:29:46.909
So yeah, I guess the last part of our school day kind of experience is how do we start winding down to really prepare to do it all over again?
00:29:47.069 --> 00:29:53.549
And you know, I maybe sounds simple, but yeah, we all should kind of have a bedtime routine.
00:29:53.709 --> 00:29:55.069
What does that look like?
00:29:55.229 --> 00:29:56.829
And you know, when do we start?
00:29:56.989 --> 00:30:02.589
If we want to be in bed by nine o'clock, you know, kind of the same as I think we said about the morning routine.
00:30:02.749 --> 00:30:05.469
You know, how much time do I really need to do it?
00:30:06.349 --> 00:30:10.909
I know for me, like I'm not a person that can just walk in bed and fall asleep.
00:30:11.069 --> 00:30:12.989
Like, I there's a process for me.
00:30:13.069 --> 00:30:17.389
And you know, I read a little bit, I do, you know, I do a few different things.
00:30:17.629 --> 00:30:26.909
So if my bedtime is 10 o'clock, I need to start that probably about nine o'clock to realistically hit that goal of 10 o'clock.
00:30:26.989 --> 00:30:31.389
That's gonna vary person to person, but what's that routine gonna look like?
00:30:31.709 --> 00:30:38.029
And another thing that I, you know, let's set a baseline of the expectations of what are the things that we're actually needing to do.
00:30:38.189 --> 00:30:40.589
And, you know, maybe it's laying out clothes for the next morning.
00:30:40.669 --> 00:30:42.349
So that way we take that off of our checklist.
00:30:42.509 --> 00:30:47.709
Maybe it's, you know, hey, we're we're unwinding and we're spending some time reading or we're getting a story read to us.
00:30:47.789 --> 00:30:52.189
But really, I think creating I and I like the term a good sleep hygiene.
00:30:52.349 --> 00:30:58.509
And, you know, I think that varies in person to person, but you know, it is trying to avoid screens for that past.
00:30:58.589 --> 00:31:05.149
I think it's a an hour or so before we're trying to get ready for bed, you know, trying to create a relaxing environment.
00:31:05.229 --> 00:31:14.109
So, you know, we're not up and we're not running around, or you know, it's it's not the time to uh you know play WrestleMania, you know, and jump on the bed or anything like that.
00:31:14.189 --> 00:31:16.989
But rather, you know, just kind of creating that calm environment.
00:31:17.149 --> 00:31:19.229
I think you know, our kids certainly benefit from that.
00:31:19.309 --> 00:31:25.869
And you know, I think I I don't know an adult who does it enjoy like just some peace and quiet at the end of a you know a long day.
00:31:26.029 --> 00:31:30.989
And certainly, you know, the this the start of the school year is a tough time.
00:31:31.309 --> 00:31:32.349
It's change.
00:31:32.509 --> 00:31:42.189
Um and actually, I think in an upcoming episode, we're gonna be kind of diving into what you know what constitutes some of these changes in life transitions, but um I think school is certainly one of them.
00:31:42.269 --> 00:31:55.229
So being able to just give ourselves that opportunity to recognize, hey, it's probably gonna be a bit bumpy, and that's okay, you know, and as we're kind of going through, we're going to be able to fine-tune it and we're gonna be able to get into a good flow.
00:31:55.629 --> 00:31:57.949
It's it's adjusting to the adjustment, right?
00:31:58.909 --> 00:32:09.069
It is that piece of, you know, and and I I think that is the that's a great way to end it, is that, you know, try things out, make some changes as needed.
00:32:09.229 --> 00:32:18.589
Maybe, you know, maybe for your child, laying the clothes out the night before so they can sleep in an extra five minutes is good for them.
00:32:18.669 --> 00:32:25.469
And for others, maybe they'd rather get up early and have a chance to do something else before bed.
00:32:25.709 --> 00:32:28.429
There's no right or wrong in these things.
00:32:28.589 --> 00:32:38.349
It's just really about what's the right routine that creates good, healthy habits that leads to a successful school year from kindergarten to college.
00:32:39.229 --> 00:32:41.549
Uh it's a it's a valuable skill to learn.
00:32:41.869 --> 00:32:42.509
You have it.
00:32:42.669 --> 00:32:42.829
Yeah.
00:32:42.989 --> 00:32:47.309
Well, and with that, we hope you enjoy this episode and be sure to check back in next week.
00:32:47.389 --> 00:32:50.269
But until then, be well, stay psyched.
00:01:21.740 --> 00:01:27.099
Hey, it's Paul with the Psych2 Practice Podcast, and I wanted to give a quick update on things.
00:01:27.500 --> 00:01:30.939
So, for those longtime listeners, this might actually sound familiar.
00:01:31.099 --> 00:01:34.620
So, we're doing a throwback episode before the back to school season.
00:01:35.020 --> 00:01:43.420
Going back through, I think a lot of the information is still very timely and relevant, and wanting to really kind of capitalize on this time of the year and trying to provide some support.
00:01:44.219 --> 00:01:47.420
The other piece is kind of why we're doing a throwback episode.
00:01:47.900 --> 00:01:49.740
Ray and I are busy behind the scenes.
00:01:49.819 --> 00:01:54.780
We have some exciting announcements coming for Psych2 Practice, and we're really on the cusp of it.
00:01:54.939 --> 00:01:59.819
So as we're spending our time really fine-tuning that, we're hoping you enjoyed today's throwback episode.
00:02:01.099 --> 00:02:02.780
School's back by summer.
00:02:07.819 --> 00:02:10.300
Hey everyone, and welcome to the Psych2 Practice Podcast.
00:02:10.460 --> 00:02:16.219
Your one-stop for practical and useful clinical information, masterful insight from experts in the field, and a guide to daily living.
00:02:16.300 --> 00:02:19.419
I'm your host, Paul Wagner, and joining me is Greg Christner.
00:02:19.740 --> 00:02:25.740
And today we have a Living Psyched episode, just in time, I think, for the uh the start of the school year, we're talking about back to school.
00:02:25.900 --> 00:02:32.300
Oh, yeah, this is uh, you know, kind of one timely, but you know, I think a lot of us are going through it.
00:02:32.460 --> 00:02:52.939
I think you know, today just kind of talking about what are some tips about going back to school, whether you're uh starting kindergarten or you're going to college or in middle school or high school, I think we want to talk about some general things that just are good for that transition back to school and maybe help set up kids for success.
00:02:53.340 --> 00:02:59.819
And, you know, one of the things that I think is crucial for this, especially as we're coming off of the summer, is talking about sleep.
00:02:59.979 --> 00:03:02.300
And, you know, sleep is not a new topic.
00:03:02.460 --> 00:03:10.699
Um, it's probably one of the thoughts that, you know, every parent and hopefully the college, you know, high school age or college-age kids are thinking of too.
00:03:10.859 --> 00:03:14.939
But, you know, we don't have the greatest sleep habits or sleep hygiene over the summer.
00:03:15.099 --> 00:03:34.539
And so as we're coming back into this structured area of our lives, um, I think really making sure that yeah, I think at especially in the beginning, like almost a minimum of eight hours of sleep, or at least the we're giving the capacity for eight hours of sleep, whether we're, you know, tossing and turning, you know, that that's another story.
00:03:34.620 --> 00:03:39.819
But at least we're kind of resting our body and kind of getting set up to then give ourselves that time.
00:03:39.979 --> 00:03:41.180
Right Ray, what are your thoughts?
00:03:41.500 --> 00:03:45.819
Yeah, I, you know, I think that that's um, I think that the starting point in eight hours.
00:03:45.900 --> 00:03:48.620
I mean, that's that's what we've been we hear our whole life, right?
00:03:48.699 --> 00:03:50.139
We should have eight hours of sleep.
00:03:50.299 --> 00:03:58.219
Yeah, I I look at it as, yeah, I think this is going to be a recurring comment throughout the episode is really what's that sleep routine?
00:03:58.379 --> 00:04:10.299
Like, you know, as far as having a consistent time that we're going to bed, having a consistent time we're getting up, you know, if we need time before we go to sleep, what's that look like?
00:04:10.460 --> 00:04:13.419
But yeah, I mean, I think we undervalue sleep sometimes.
00:04:13.579 --> 00:04:22.220
And, you know, even, you know, and again, we're gonna maybe talk about this a little later, but even the idea of devices in bed, you know, how does that affect sleep?
00:04:22.379 --> 00:04:33.980
And, you know, I I see my own kids have done it, and I know other kids who, you know, maybe have their phone, it's their alarm, but you know, they're watching YouTube videos before they go to sleep or whatever it might be.
00:04:34.220 --> 00:04:49.340
And I think, you know, not that we have to eliminate those things, but how do we manage them in a way that it's not impacting us getting to sleep at a good time and and being aware what do what time do we really need to get up so we're not rushing out the door?
00:04:49.660 --> 00:04:50.379
Absolutely.
00:04:50.540 --> 00:04:54.620
And, you know, I I think I'm I'm a bit hypocritical in preaching sleep.
00:04:54.699 --> 00:04:57.819
And, you know, I definitely have some work to do on my own sleep hygiene.
00:04:57.900 --> 00:05:02.780
Um, you know, my wife, it is a priority for her, and I see the benefits of it.
00:05:02.860 --> 00:05:12.060
And, you know, I I know I can tell the difference between, you know, a five, six hour night and, you know, one of those nights when I get a solid eight hours of sleep, I'm waking up feeling refreshed.
00:05:12.139 --> 00:05:27.420
And, you know, I think that a solid sleep routine can be hard to maintain at times, but especially here in the very beginning, I think we're just giving ourselves the best opportunity or the best chance to be successful if we're really advocating or pushing for for those eight hours.
00:05:27.660 --> 00:05:36.140
Yeah, and and I think, you know, I would even go as far as saying, I think people need to know really the amount of sleep they need.
00:05:36.379 --> 00:05:43.100
Because, you know, I I might be good at eight hours, but you know, there are some adolescents that need more sleep than that.
00:05:43.260 --> 00:05:49.020
And, you know, those who have teenagers, you know, it a lot of times they're not getting enough sleep.
00:05:49.100 --> 00:05:56.060
And there's research to say, you know, even nine or 10 hours is what's needed in that that period of development.
00:05:56.379 --> 00:06:00.220
So, you know, making sure we're we're kind of you know paying attention to that.
00:06:00.300 --> 00:06:07.100
And that, you know, if we have to be up at six o'clock in the morning, then what's that really mean for a true bedtime?
00:06:07.260 --> 00:06:13.020
And and maybe let's just start eight hours back, but we might have to adjust that as the the year goes on.
00:06:13.340 --> 00:06:14.220
Absolutely.
00:06:14.540 --> 00:06:25.260
And, you know, I I think when we're waking up that morning of hopefully well rested, but I think the conversation doesn't start but uh stop at sleep either.
00:06:25.340 --> 00:06:28.860
I I think it's also talking about just a good morning routine.
00:06:28.939 --> 00:06:36.140
And, you know, hopefully we're able to practice that here as we're kind of entering into the final countdown before the school year actually starts.
00:06:36.379 --> 00:06:43.660
But, you know, hey, do we know kind of the the tempo of the morning and how do we make sure that we're checking all the boxes of it?
00:06:43.900 --> 00:06:45.180
Yeah, I like the word tempo.
00:06:45.420 --> 00:06:47.660
I think that's a that's a a good way to put it.
00:06:47.820 --> 00:06:48.060
Great.
00:06:48.220 --> 00:06:59.340
What is our you know, listen, I I know when I am rushed in the morning and I fly out the door and I'm just scrambling to get into my office and my day starts.
00:06:59.500 --> 00:07:01.740
It really is not usually a good day.
00:07:01.820 --> 00:07:03.420
It usually starts out really bad.
00:07:03.580 --> 00:07:05.660
So yeah, what you know, what is the tempo?
00:07:05.820 --> 00:07:08.140
How much time do we really need to get ready?
00:07:08.300 --> 00:07:20.540
And again, I think a lot of times the problem we run into with whether it's back to school or whatever, when we're doing these morning routines is we think of it as how can we sleep the longest that we need to sleep?
00:07:20.700 --> 00:07:25.420
And instead we need to think of, okay, how much time do I need for that morning?
00:07:25.500 --> 00:07:27.660
And what's my true wake up time?
00:07:27.900 --> 00:07:30.460
And then find our sleep moving backward.
00:07:30.620 --> 00:07:37.420
And and you kind of had a good quote that you you were talking about earlier that I that kind of got me thinking in that way.
00:07:37.660 --> 00:07:37.900
Yeah.
00:07:38.140 --> 00:07:45.580
Uh a guest from uh just just a few episodes ago, or it may have even been last episode, uh, you know, uh depends on uh the order that we're posting.
00:07:45.660 --> 00:07:45.980
But Dr.
00:07:46.060 --> 00:07:50.540
Ari Tuchman, you know, he shared that he uh he has a lot of his quotes that he likes to say.
00:07:50.620 --> 00:07:58.379
And uh I I'm going to probably misquote, but hopefully capture the idea of um if we're having a rough morning, then it's a nighttime issue.
00:07:58.540 --> 00:08:03.100
You know, and he's talking about ADHD, but that is just a universal truth, I think.
00:08:03.740 --> 00:08:10.540
Uh, you know, if we are staying up till midnight expecting ourselves to wake up at 5 36, it it's it's gonna be rough.
00:08:10.620 --> 00:08:14.220
And you know, especially if it's poor sleep hygiene leading up to that, yeah.
00:08:14.300 --> 00:08:17.500
No, so making sure that we're setting ourselves up for success.
00:08:17.580 --> 00:08:28.140
And I do I love that idea of like, let's pick, you know, the the point that we're needing to really kind of I know I need to be leaving at this point in time to be making it to work or to be making it to school.
00:08:28.540 --> 00:08:35.340
So that's really the anchor point that drives my, you know, my bedtime and like we're it's a different tempo, you know.
00:08:35.899 --> 00:08:46.379
It is, and I think then then it allows us to kind of then move into this other area of of kind of what we need to prepare for, and that's making sure we're also getting good nutrition.
00:08:46.460 --> 00:08:51.980
Yeah, I mean, how many kids I see who are like, oh, I don't eat breakfast, I don't have time to eat breakfast in the morning.
00:08:52.059 --> 00:09:01.820
And I'm like, you know, we talk so much about how you know having good nutrition is such fuel for our brain and for our bodies.
00:09:01.980 --> 00:09:11.259
And we have someone who's not eating till lunchtime, and you know, I've had kids who've had you know super early lunches at school, but then also some that are very late.
00:09:11.419 --> 00:09:26.059
You know, I I I always joke around and say, you know, the the Snickers uh commercials got it right, you know, with the whole idea of being hangry or um, and maybe it's not in a mood way, but it could be with an attention way.
00:09:26.139 --> 00:09:31.580
It could be with just how well we're really, you know, feeling motivated to get things done.
00:09:31.740 --> 00:09:48.700
So, you know, I think setting up that sleep routine and then that morning routine gives us the time, you know, it doesn't mean we have to have, you know, bacon, eggs, pancakes for breakfast, but enough that we can get some nutrition where it starts our day off in a good way.
00:09:48.940 --> 00:09:49.580
Absolutely.
00:09:49.820 --> 00:10:27.790
And I know that, you know, not only for our students returning back to school, but for for parents as well, the morning is hectic.
00:10:27.870 --> 00:10:35.790
And, you know, whether it's, you know, facilitating them getting ready or getting ready for work ourselves, like sometimes we're at the door before our kids are needing to leave.
00:10:35.950 --> 00:10:48.269
Actually, that's kind of the issue that um my wife and I are running into where um kind of with the schedule now and you know, with my uh with my oldest being able to drive in, we're both leaving before they have to leave.
00:10:48.350 --> 00:10:52.910
And so we don't really want to kick them out, you know, so that way the house is getting locked up and shut down.
00:10:53.070 --> 00:10:56.670
But then that means that I'm not necessarily there to help facilitate making sure that they're eating.
00:10:56.750 --> 00:10:58.670
So, you know, sometimes we can be creative.
00:10:58.830 --> 00:11:08.910
Like I I came home the other day and there's a little lazy Susan sitting on our kitchen counter now, and it's gonna be the breakfast lazy Susan that's you know, the we can spin it around and you know, you can pick what you want.
00:11:08.990 --> 00:11:15.230
And I'm sure they're gonna get tired of things in that, but you know, it's some we just have to be creative in some ways to make it work.
00:11:15.389 --> 00:11:21.310
But I do think oftentimes if we pause, we can kind of take the moment to really make sure we're we're meeting some of the needs.
00:11:21.470 --> 00:11:25.230
And, you know, I think when it comes to breakfast, something is better than nothing.
00:11:25.550 --> 00:11:26.350
Yeah, I agree.
00:11:26.430 --> 00:11:36.190
And I, you know, I I just had this conversation today with a parent about, you know, they they were like, well, you know, with school starting, you know, he's always running late.
00:11:36.269 --> 00:11:38.430
And it's his responsibility to get breakfast.
00:11:38.509 --> 00:11:40.110
And if he doesn't get it, he doesn't get it.
00:11:40.190 --> 00:11:41.150
And I said, you know what?
00:11:41.230 --> 00:11:46.590
I think sometimes as parents, you know, my teenage daughter has run late many, many mornings.
00:11:46.670 --> 00:11:52.190
And sometimes, even as a parent, I go, okay, listen, I'm gonna throw something together for you.
00:11:52.350 --> 00:11:55.710
And maybe it's simply putting a toaster waffle in.
00:11:55.790 --> 00:12:00.910
I mean, it doesn't have to, again, be anything elaborate, or maybe it's a protein bar or something.
00:12:01.150 --> 00:12:07.070
But I I love that idea of you know having something available that's easy, easily accessible.
00:12:07.310 --> 00:12:12.830
And, you know, we're talking about kids going to school, but let's face it, we've all done that even as adults.
00:12:12.910 --> 00:12:17.389
You know, I've rushed out of the in the morning and went, oh man, I just need to grab something.
00:12:17.550 --> 00:12:21.950
So having those things available, yeah, good start for the day.
00:12:22.190 --> 00:12:27.389
And you know, then it kind of leads to making sure we have nutrition throughout the day.
00:12:27.710 --> 00:12:28.670
Absolutely.
00:12:28.990 --> 00:12:36.190
Well, and you know, Ray, we're talking about sleep and we're talking about nutrition, which, you know, uh applicable everywhere.
00:12:36.350 --> 00:12:41.790
But I almost want to kind of get a little bit specific about like you know, expectations for school.
00:12:41.950 --> 00:12:52.830
And I and I think, you know, as we're talking about how to, you know, how to prepare well for school, having accurate and realistic expectations for, you know, how are we getting there?
00:12:52.990 --> 00:12:55.389
Do we have our materials that we're gonna be needing?
00:12:55.790 --> 00:13:04.910
And making sure that we're not kind of setting maybe either too high of expectations of, you know, we have to have everything right and we have to, you know, this needs to be a perfect day.
00:13:04.990 --> 00:13:08.590
And I I think most first days of school, it's hard for it to be a perfect day.
00:13:08.910 --> 00:13:10.990
But I also I don't want to undershoot it either.
00:13:11.070 --> 00:13:12.990
I don't want to be like, ah, I'll figure it out.
00:13:13.070 --> 00:13:14.430
Like it's not a big deal.
00:13:14.590 --> 00:13:19.389
Because then I think we're just kind of almost inviting in stress and pressure later on.
00:13:19.550 --> 00:13:27.230
So I think it's about, you know, really kind of recognizing what is expected from school and uh kind of call upon, you know, John Murphy.
00:13:27.310 --> 00:13:37.389
I think his name's kind of, you know, since he's been here, been ingrained in most episodes since, you know, looking for like a solution of like what does a good start to the school year look like?
00:13:37.550 --> 00:13:39.710
And how do we know that we're achieving that?
00:13:40.030 --> 00:13:40.269
Yeah.
00:13:40.430 --> 00:13:43.710
I I I like the idea of expectations.
00:13:43.870 --> 00:13:51.470
And, you know, some of this goes back to the executive function things we've talked about, you know, with just making sure you have your things that you need.
00:13:51.629 --> 00:13:55.790
But, you know, I I encourage kids all the time to do that.
00:13:55.950 --> 00:14:06.350
And and again, even adults, even from work, is not only what do we expect from the school year, but even every morning, like what do I expect my day to be like today?
00:14:06.430 --> 00:14:08.590
What do I, you know, what do I want to get out of it?
00:14:08.750 --> 00:14:15.550
And and it's interesting, I think, having a you know, starting with a mindset of what the day is going to be like.
00:14:15.629 --> 00:14:22.990
And that doesn't mean, you know, you can you can predict everything that's gonna happen, but um, you know, what do you hope to accomplish?
00:14:23.070 --> 00:14:24.910
Like, what do you want to make sure you get done?
00:14:25.070 --> 00:14:38.750
You know, I I have a a guy that I see for therapy who's a senior, and you know, we just started last year with this and we'll enter it again this year's, you know, that's that's one of the things we did is like, what are you gonna set up for yourself?
00:14:38.910 --> 00:14:43.870
So he might be something simple as him going, okay, today I have a lot going on in the evening.
00:14:44.030 --> 00:14:49.470
So I'm gonna get my my expectation is I'll have all my homework done before before five o'clock today.
00:14:49.629 --> 00:14:51.950
Wow, that's a yeah, that's a pretty ambitious goal.
00:14:52.190 --> 00:14:53.629
But now he knows.
00:14:53.790 --> 00:15:00.990
Now it's like, okay, I have something set because I know I'm going to the football game or whatever in the evening.
00:15:01.150 --> 00:15:02.269
So I want to have that done.
00:15:02.430 --> 00:15:06.030
It's interesting how when he sets it, it takes the pressure off.
00:15:06.190 --> 00:15:09.790
And it's almost like he's like, okay, like I know what I have to get done today.
00:15:09.950 --> 00:15:17.550
Or, you know, kids maybe who school's frustrating for, even going in and going, okay, I'm just going to keep a my a positive mindset today.
00:15:17.629 --> 00:15:21.230
I'm going to go in and my expectation is just going to try my best.
00:15:21.629 --> 00:15:36.990
Sometimes just those little things set us up for a better And, you know, it reminds me of of something and you know, on and off in mental health courses, you you hear about it, but the idea of subjective goals versus subjective goals.
00:15:37.150 --> 00:15:43.950
And, you know, and I I kind of use a subjective language there earlier of like, you know, how do I have a good day?
00:15:44.030 --> 00:15:46.910
Uh or, you know, if that's my goal, I want to have a good day, but like, what does that even mean?
00:15:47.070 --> 00:15:50.590
You know, that's the same as like, oh, you know, I want to, I want to eat healthier.
00:15:51.070 --> 00:15:51.230
Right.
00:15:51.550 --> 00:15:54.750
What does that mean versus objectively?
00:15:54.830 --> 00:15:57.310
I can say, I want to have my homework done before five o'clock.
00:15:57.790 --> 00:16:02.430
And so that's a very clear, if five o'clock is there, I can look at it and say, Well, have I achieved that goal?
00:16:02.590 --> 00:16:03.150
Yes or no.
00:16:03.389 --> 00:16:03.550
Right.
00:16:03.710 --> 00:16:21.870
And, you know, I think if we're setting, especially short-term goals for ourselves to kind of to use almost as like checkpoints to see how we're doing, those objective content or that objective content goals are really, really valuable because it really lets us have a more accurate view of how are things going.
00:16:22.030 --> 00:16:25.790
And, you know, if I'm consistently not hitting those goals, why?
00:16:25.950 --> 00:16:27.230
You know, am I expecting too much?
00:16:27.389 --> 00:16:29.710
Am I not putting up and you know, going back to executive function?
00:16:29.870 --> 00:16:31.550
Am I not activating what I should be doing?
00:16:31.870 --> 00:16:34.430
Or um, you know, it's am I not prioritizing right?
00:16:34.509 --> 00:16:41.070
So I think, you know, just good goal setting skills and good goal setting in general is it's a helpful thing here.
00:16:41.470 --> 00:16:44.670
I mean, I think it helps with behavioral activation for sure.
00:16:44.830 --> 00:16:46.670
You know, it definitely gets us going.
00:16:46.910 --> 00:16:50.509
And and again, I I also like them just for the mindset piece.
00:16:50.590 --> 00:16:58.670
You know, I it's yeah, I remember being in college and having days where I just didn't want to go to class and do something.
00:16:58.830 --> 00:17:02.590
And you know, I would always tell myself, okay, my goal today is I'm just gonna learn one thing.
00:17:02.750 --> 00:17:03.230
That's it.
00:17:03.389 --> 00:17:07.629
Like I I'm probably not gonna learn everything that I'm gonna learn one thing.
00:17:07.789 --> 00:17:11.470
And it it's that sounds so simple to say that to yourself.
00:17:11.629 --> 00:17:13.069
And it's like, okay, really?
00:17:13.150 --> 00:17:23.869
Like I'm only gonna get one little piece of information out of my day, but re reframing it in a way where it wasn't overwhelming, where it wasn't like, man, I'm tired, I'm never gonna get through these classes.
00:17:23.950 --> 00:17:27.629
And I went, okay, if I just learn one thing today was a successful day.
00:17:27.789 --> 00:17:33.230
The reality is I probably learned 20 things, but I gave my per myself some permission.
00:17:33.389 --> 00:17:34.669
I changed my mindset.
00:17:34.909 --> 00:17:43.549
And I think we have to do that with kids is you know, really kind of focusing on trying to just that expectation being something a positive direction.
00:17:43.949 --> 00:17:44.989
Absolutely.
00:17:45.309 --> 00:17:52.989
Well, and you know, I I think that expectation and and being present, like, you know, throughout the school day.
00:17:53.069 --> 00:18:02.749
And I I think the school day, you know, when the school day ends, though, that's not the end of the conversation here for you know setting up a you know, good what is a successful start to the school year.
00:18:02.909 --> 00:18:05.629
I think it's also really important what happens after school for us.
00:18:05.869 --> 00:18:06.029
Right.
00:18:06.189 --> 00:18:06.429
Yeah.
00:18:06.509 --> 00:18:14.749
And I mean, I I think again, we're we're gonna keep repeating the word routine, but yeah, what what's the routine look like after school?
00:18:14.989 --> 00:18:23.389
Um, you know, even knowing when we're gonna study, where we're gonna study, but but I even think it's important to do routines beyond that.
00:18:23.469 --> 00:18:30.829
You know, I I I know school for some kids, it's sitting all day, and that can be so mentally taxing.
00:18:31.069 --> 00:18:33.069
And what do we do as a physical outlet?
00:18:33.229 --> 00:18:34.669
Like, when do we incorporate that?
00:18:34.749 --> 00:18:36.669
Like when you get home, like what do you need to do?
00:18:36.829 --> 00:18:44.189
Maybe it's going outside, and that can be part of our school day routine is making sure we're getting some physical activity.
00:18:44.349 --> 00:18:46.269
We've been sitting in school all day.
00:18:46.509 --> 00:18:50.109
So, what can we set up to make sure that we're we're doing that?
00:18:50.269 --> 00:18:53.789
So it doesn't have to all be about study skills after school.
00:18:53.949 --> 00:18:57.949
That's something else, but we can do, you know, even start with something physical.
00:18:58.269 --> 00:19:09.709
And, you know, uh a lot of especially the the fall time sports are now like, you know, I think most of my the student athletes that that I see have already started their practices.
00:19:09.869 --> 00:19:23.629
And, you know, I think they're like the the coaches and the the team is kind of taking a page out of it like they're already setting a routine, they're already setting an expectation of, hey, at this time, this is what you're gonna be doing, this is what to expect.
00:19:23.869 --> 00:19:31.629
It'll probably get a little bit more intense in the school year or you know, maybe right before a game or a match, like you know, it's gonna be refining skills.
00:19:32.029 --> 00:19:35.229
But you know, it talk about a great physical outlet.
00:19:35.389 --> 00:19:38.669
And certainly, you know, I know sports is not for everyone.
00:19:38.749 --> 00:19:45.789
And you know, I know myself during high school, like it or doing my school year, I didn't really want to do it, but I always felt really good afterwards.
00:19:45.869 --> 00:20:02.109
So I think it's a worthy conversation to bring up um if we can encourage uh interactions and you know, whether it's extracurricular with sports um through the school system or outside of that, but great social outlet and social connections as well, you know, and uh it is not the only way.
00:20:02.589 --> 00:20:11.229
You know, I I think that if you were to put like some sort of calorie tracker on some of the some of the students that are involved in being, they might be, you know, they might be higher than certain athletes.
00:20:11.469 --> 00:20:11.789
Absolutely.
00:20:12.029 --> 00:20:13.389
There's a lot of physicality.
00:20:13.549 --> 00:20:15.389
So just that idea of being active.
00:20:15.469 --> 00:20:25.469
Um, and I think school provides a great opportunity, and especially if like, you know, your your child has been kind of kicking around the idea, you can meet a social need as well as the physical need.
00:20:25.549 --> 00:20:28.349
And so it I think it's a worthy conversation to start.
00:20:28.589 --> 00:20:31.149
Yeah, and it and I agree, it doesn't have to be athletics.
00:20:31.229 --> 00:20:34.029
You could do theater and be exhausted physically, right?
00:20:34.269 --> 00:20:39.949
I mean, it's yeah it can be anything, but I think the key is what is that physical piece?
00:20:40.029 --> 00:20:42.429
Like, what do we do to get our body moving?
00:20:42.669 --> 00:20:51.229
It can be going to a walk on a walk with your parents, it can be going for a bike ride, it could be just running around the yard, or it could be something more structured.
00:20:51.389 --> 00:20:58.429
I mean, I think it's we we have so many options, but the the key to it is how do we make it part of the day?
00:20:58.589 --> 00:21:01.309
It's really easy to just come home and want to watch TV.
00:21:01.469 --> 00:21:10.029
It's really easy to want to take a nap, but we know after sitting all day that physical activity of any sort is just good for kids.
00:21:10.109 --> 00:21:11.709
It's a good reset for them.
00:21:11.949 --> 00:21:15.389
And then we move into the other parts of the routine.
00:21:15.469 --> 00:21:19.549
You know, we we do have study time that kids have to put in place.
00:21:19.629 --> 00:21:24.589
And, you know, there's homework and those types of things and relaxation.
00:21:24.829 --> 00:21:29.309
You know, what is what's the time to how do you just chill out a little bit?
00:21:29.469 --> 00:21:32.189
And that can come in all kinds of forms, you know.
00:21:32.269 --> 00:21:34.669
I I think it really depends on the kid.
00:21:34.749 --> 00:21:41.549
I mean, I think probably the most popular that I hear is they want their downtime to involve a screen of some sort.
00:21:41.709 --> 00:21:47.469
Um and right, I think we have to be prepared for just about any kid that can overhear us to be telling their parent to turn it off.
00:21:47.709 --> 00:21:59.709
But um, you know, we're talking about routines and uh as much, you know, as there might be that craving and that desire for screens, I think it's also something that we have to be mindful about setting a routine with up as well.
00:21:59.869 --> 00:22:05.469
And you were kind of sharing right before we we uh started recording, what was this the study that you were referencing?
00:22:05.949 --> 00:22:14.749
Actually, just the American Academy of Pediatrics has a report that they put out that you know, what is the recommended use for screen time?
00:22:14.989 --> 00:22:23.069
Now, this gets a little gray because let's face it, our kids are on screens a lot during the school days and after school.
00:22:23.229 --> 00:22:27.229
Like we now have you know, laptops or tablets that they're bringing home.
00:22:27.549 --> 00:22:39.549
But essentially their their kind of suggestion and one I I would encourage as well is during on school days, one hour of down screen time.
00:22:39.709 --> 00:22:50.109
So meaning that it is things that they're doing for enjoyment, video games, watching YouTube videos, whatever it might be, that it's a one-hour limit on school nights.
00:22:50.269 --> 00:22:55.869
And I will say, uh, kids that we've been able to do that with, it really has helped.
00:22:56.109 --> 00:22:57.229
They haven't liked it.
00:22:57.389 --> 00:22:59.469
That doesn't mean it's a positive thing, but it's helped.
00:22:59.549 --> 00:23:03.629
And when we, you know, how does these things how do these how do these things link together?
00:23:03.789 --> 00:23:12.909
Well, you know, if you have some physical activity or some social activity that you're doing during the day, that lessens your time on the screen naturally.
00:23:13.069 --> 00:23:18.989
So we we can kind of truncate the amount of time by simply adding other things into it.
00:23:19.149 --> 00:23:23.229
But that being said, you know, on the weekends, that can be extended.
00:23:23.389 --> 00:23:31.149
Now, again, American Academy of Pediatrics, they suggest no more than two hours, even on non school days during the school year.
00:23:31.229 --> 00:23:31.469
I know.
00:23:32.109 --> 00:23:34.509
That would be tough for some of the kids that I see.
00:23:34.669 --> 00:23:38.349
You know, I don't know that has to be a hard, fast rule all the time.
00:23:38.509 --> 00:23:42.349
It it but it is a guideline we should really, you know, I think try to achieve.
00:23:42.509 --> 00:23:45.549
And again, getting involved in other things will help that.
00:23:45.789 --> 00:23:47.629
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00:24:14.189 --> 00:24:16.189
And now back to our conversation.
00:24:16.509 --> 00:24:31.389
And I think especially for our, you know, if if we have some students that were able to have that more like rational conversation where they're able to recognize that I don't like that there's this limitation, but I actually can hear that there's a value and a benefit.
00:24:31.549 --> 00:24:37.229
So, you know, I I don't think necessarily lecturing in the moment, especially if they're pushing back against it.
00:24:37.389 --> 00:24:50.669
But if we're talking about why these routines are in place and what the value of it is, um, you know, being able to share that, you know, it's going to have a positive impact on mood, on, you know, our ability to concentrate and focus.
00:24:50.749 --> 00:24:58.989
And it it frees us up for other healthy activities because you know, and I know myself at that age, I just wanted to play video games.
00:24:59.149 --> 00:25:00.669
You know, that that was all I wanted to do.
00:25:00.829 --> 00:25:03.709
And just because I wanted it didn't mean it was the best thing for me.
00:25:04.029 --> 00:25:07.629
Yeah, I mean, it's I I guess it's just like eating your vegetables, right?
00:25:09.469 --> 00:25:09.709
Right.
00:25:09.789 --> 00:25:18.829
It's but now, I mean, I I think that's that that piece is, you know, it is a hard conversation to have rationally with with some kids.
00:25:18.989 --> 00:25:22.989
And that doesn't mean we don't work to still set a good routine.
00:25:23.229 --> 00:25:30.589
And, you know, again, the success I've seen isn't hasn't necessarily been about long conversations with kids.
00:25:30.669 --> 00:25:35.629
It's about setting the routine that naturally makes that hour available.
00:25:35.789 --> 00:25:42.109
And it is, that means there's there's got to be other things going on, and we have to set times for those things.
00:25:42.269 --> 00:25:44.109
And it's a great way to end the day.
00:25:44.189 --> 00:25:52.749
Like, I mean, I think it's great, whether it's video games or YouTube or whatever they want to do, I don't know that's a bad way to wind down.
00:25:53.229 --> 00:25:59.469
And, you know, then that leads us to another routine, of course, where we have to then start preparing how do we get to bed?
00:25:59.629 --> 00:26:01.789
But that that can be part of it.
00:26:01.949 --> 00:26:07.949
Um, you know, I I I often will will tell kids like, when's the best time to play video games?
00:26:08.109 --> 00:26:14.749
And you know, what's the time that if we're gonna use this and this is gonna be part of your day, if you had to pick a time, when is it?
00:26:14.909 --> 00:26:16.989
And I've had parents go, What why does it matter?
00:26:17.149 --> 00:26:20.829
Well, most of these games are social experiences for kids too.
00:26:21.069 --> 00:26:35.709
So, you know, if they want to play whatever it is, Fortnite or whatever, and all their friends are on from five to six and they can't get on until seven to eight, it it might be different for them.
00:26:35.869 --> 00:26:38.909
So it's you know, so let the kids be part of the schedule.
00:26:39.069 --> 00:26:41.869
Let them be part of, okay, what's a good time to do it?
00:26:42.029 --> 00:26:50.349
And um, you know, again, they would love two hours, but if they have some say in it, maybe there's a little bit more compliance.
00:26:50.509 --> 00:26:55.469
And maybe for those who are using it excessively, maybe we have to work toward that.
00:26:55.629 --> 00:27:02.989
Um, you know, if they're playing three hours a night and we all of a sudden say, okay, now you're only allowed one, we're gonna get resistance.
00:27:03.389 --> 00:27:19.069
But maybe if we go, okay, we're gonna cut back 15 minutes a night, um, or 15 minutes, you know, we'll cut back 15 minutes, do that for two nights, cut back 15 minutes, and kind of wean down to that hour, might be an easier kind of transition.
00:27:19.789 --> 00:27:35.389
And certainly I am not trying to go against the American Pediatric Association, but there's gosh, you know, our Ari Tuckman is just getting a ton of screen time here, but um he talks about more for older teens running failable experiments.
00:27:35.629 --> 00:27:44.829
And so, you know, if you're it, I would say, you know, high school age is probably where this is starting to be appropriate, but like, no, I can handle it.
00:27:44.909 --> 00:27:46.509
No, I can be responsible for this.
00:27:46.669 --> 00:27:48.749
Like, let them prove it, you know.
00:27:48.989 --> 00:28:00.829
And if they can and they're able to maintain social engagements, they're able to get the physical activity, they're able to, you know, regulate emotions and they're able to kind of hit all of those markers, okay.
00:28:01.069 --> 00:28:05.949
But chances are like if we give them that opportunity and then they're not being successful, then we're not the bad guys.
00:28:06.029 --> 00:28:10.269
And then like we can kind of collaborate and say, okay, well, how do we work to maybe give you this opportunity?
00:28:10.429 --> 00:28:18.109
How do we kind of strengthen these skills a little bit more so meeting our needs and finding a better harmony, you know, in our day-to-day routine.
00:28:18.189 --> 00:28:25.389
So that way either you're recognizing that an hour is probably actually the the best here, or hey, you know, you you're doing really well.
00:28:25.549 --> 00:28:27.549
Here's an hour and a half or something along those lines.
00:28:27.709 --> 00:28:27.869
Right.
00:28:28.109 --> 00:28:28.189
Yeah.
00:28:28.269 --> 00:28:36.589
And and I I I mean, I I like the idea of experiments and and it is really about what's the right harmony for each kid.
00:28:36.669 --> 00:28:38.029
And and that might vary.
00:28:38.189 --> 00:28:39.309
Like, I mean, I agree.
00:28:39.469 --> 00:28:47.469
I mean, I think the the guidelines that we see, sure, that's what we hope, but some kids can handle more, and that's okay.
00:28:47.629 --> 00:28:52.909
And I, you know, and I think you know, guidelines are great sometimes, though.
00:28:53.149 --> 00:29:06.189
You know, I've even had kids where we worked with parents and said, listen, like if they really can kind of pull off a good schedule, then maybe on a Friday night, okay, maybe you do play three hours.
00:29:06.349 --> 00:29:09.949
Maybe we're above an hour above what the recommended guidelines are.
00:29:10.189 --> 00:29:15.549
That might not be a bad thing, but it's in the kids' control to show us they can handle it.
00:29:15.709 --> 00:29:17.789
And and you know, you mentioned teenagers.
00:29:17.869 --> 00:29:24.109
I even think we could trickle that down even for younger kids and saying, hey, let's let's let's give it a try.
00:29:24.189 --> 00:29:25.549
And if it works, wonderful.
00:29:25.629 --> 00:29:28.109
And if not, then we have to make adjustments.
00:29:28.349 --> 00:29:28.589
Yeah.
00:29:28.829 --> 00:29:32.429
All right, I think then that brings us back up to uh to sleep.
00:29:32.669 --> 00:29:36.109
Yeah, it's uh it's it's where we start and where we end.
00:29:36.269 --> 00:29:46.909
So yeah, I guess the last part of our school day kind of experience is how do we start winding down to really prepare to do it all over again?
00:29:47.069 --> 00:29:53.549
And you know, I maybe sounds simple, but yeah, we all should kind of have a bedtime routine.
00:29:53.709 --> 00:29:55.069
What does that look like?
00:29:55.229 --> 00:29:56.829
And you know, when do we start?
00:29:56.989 --> 00:30:02.589
If we want to be in bed by nine o'clock, you know, kind of the same as I think we said about the morning routine.
00:30:02.749 --> 00:30:05.469
You know, how much time do I really need to do it?
00:30:06.349 --> 00:30:10.909
I know for me, like I'm not a person that can just walk in bed and fall asleep.
00:30:11.069 --> 00:30:12.989
Like, I there's a process for me.
00:30:13.069 --> 00:30:17.389
And you know, I read a little bit, I do, you know, I do a few different things.
00:30:17.629 --> 00:30:26.909
So if my bedtime is 10 o'clock, I need to start that probably about nine o'clock to realistically hit that goal of 10 o'clock.
00:30:26.989 --> 00:30:31.389
That's gonna vary person to person, but what's that routine gonna look like?
00:30:31.709 --> 00:30:38.029
And another thing that I, you know, let's set a baseline of the expectations of what are the things that we're actually needing to do.
00:30:38.189 --> 00:30:40.589
And, you know, maybe it's laying out clothes for the next morning.
00:30:40.669 --> 00:30:42.349
So that way we take that off of our checklist.
00:30:42.509 --> 00:30:47.709
Maybe it's, you know, hey, we're we're unwinding and we're spending some time reading or we're getting a story read to us.
00:30:47.789 --> 00:30:52.189
But really, I think creating I and I like the term a good sleep hygiene.
00:30:52.349 --> 00:30:58.509
And, you know, I think that varies in person to person, but you know, it is trying to avoid screens for that past.
00:30:58.589 --> 00:31:05.149
I think it's a an hour or so before we're trying to get ready for bed, you know, trying to create a relaxing environment.
00:31:05.229 --> 00:31:14.109
So, you know, we're not up and we're not running around, or you know, it's it's not the time to uh you know play WrestleMania, you know, and jump on the bed or anything like that.
00:31:14.189 --> 00:31:16.989
But rather, you know, just kind of creating that calm environment.
00:31:17.149 --> 00:31:19.229
I think you know, our kids certainly benefit from that.
00:31:19.309 --> 00:31:25.869
And you know, I think I I don't know an adult who does it enjoy like just some peace and quiet at the end of a you know a long day.
00:31:26.029 --> 00:31:30.989
And certainly, you know, the this the start of the school year is a tough time.
00:31:31.309 --> 00:31:32.349
It's change.
00:31:32.509 --> 00:31:42.189
Um and actually, I think in an upcoming episode, we're gonna be kind of diving into what you know what constitutes some of these changes in life transitions, but um I think school is certainly one of them.
00:31:42.269 --> 00:31:55.229
So being able to just give ourselves that opportunity to recognize, hey, it's probably gonna be a bit bumpy, and that's okay, you know, and as we're kind of going through, we're going to be able to fine-tune it and we're gonna be able to get into a good flow.
00:31:55.629 --> 00:31:57.949
It's it's adjusting to the adjustment, right?
00:31:58.909 --> 00:32:09.069
It is that piece of, you know, and and I I think that is the that's a great way to end it, is that, you know, try things out, make some changes as needed.
00:32:09.229 --> 00:32:18.589
Maybe, you know, maybe for your child, laying the clothes out the night before so they can sleep in an extra five minutes is good for them.
00:32:18.669 --> 00:32:25.469
And for others, maybe they'd rather get up early and have a chance to do something else before bed.
00:32:25.709 --> 00:32:28.429
There's no right or wrong in these things.
00:32:28.589 --> 00:32:38.349
It's just really about what's the right routine that creates good, healthy habits that leads to a successful school year from kindergarten to college.
00:32:39.229 --> 00:32:41.549
Uh it's a it's a valuable skill to learn.
00:32:41.869 --> 00:32:42.509
You have it.
00:32:42.669 --> 00:32:42.829
Yeah.
00:32:42.989 --> 00:32:47.309
Well, and with that, we hope you enjoy this episode and be sure to check back in next week.
00:32:47.389 --> 00:32:50.269
But until then, be well, stay psyched.
