It started with a mix

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This episode is presented by Monzo.
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Josh, I love the summer holiday, aside from being asked
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for an ice cream every 32 seconds.
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Well, Rob, that is why it's an ideal time to
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get them a free Monzo Kids account to help build
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confidence and independence with their money. You can instantly send
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money or set up regular pocket money and parents still
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have full visibility and control from their own Monzo app.
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Unlike the requests for ice creams from the kids.
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Monzo's award-winning kids account. Search Monzo.
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For children aged 6 to 15, parent or guardian account
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needed first. UK residents only. T's and C's apply. Hello,
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you're listening to Parents in Hell with.
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Ralph, can you say Rob Beckett?
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Rob Beckett.
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Teddy, can you say Josh Widdicombe? Josh Widdicombe.
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Good job.
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Give yourselves a clap.
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And a splash in the bath.
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There we go. A little bit of extra in the end.
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A bit weird. Weird. Ted and Ralph.
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It's just people having fun, mate.
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Ted and Ralph, Rob.
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Why don't you try and have a laugh now and again?
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This is.
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Can you imagine being trapped in a podcast where you
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actually don't like each other?
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Because I know it's happened in the past.
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Oh, it's happening in the present.
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No, not us.
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Not us. No, not us. I meant there's other podcasts
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at the moment.
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There's bound to be, isn't there? No, but not only
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for a fact.
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Well, I've heard about one, but I don't think it's true.
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Can you tell me we believe it? Really? That's what
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I've heard. I can see that. Anyway, carry on. Yeah,
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I'll put Dom's all bread.
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Mike, could you cover our mouths? No, and I'll leave
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the subtitles on as well.
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Of course, of course. Do you cover our mouths now?
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Yes, I cut away to the other person.
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Right.
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Okay, so what I'm going to do to mess you up, Michael,
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is start saying it back again immediately.
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This is constant cutting. I'm going to do that thing
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that footballers do now.
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Oh, yeah, do the thing footballers do, yeah.
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Yeah, that's it. Yeah, if we can't.
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Believe something, who can't do it?
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Anyway, sorry, who was that on that one?
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Ted and Ralph, which is the name of Rob, the
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characters from The Fast Show, of course.
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Yes, absolutely.
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Fia, my son's Teddy, four and a half, Ralph, two
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and a half, both proud members of the December Birthday
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Club because we clearly ignored the warning after the first one,
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truly devil planning. We thought we'd make Rob's life easy
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with the accent this week, although knowing apparently how that
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will somehow still end up in a debate.
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Oh, it's too long ago for me.
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I've stopped guessing where they're from, aren't I?
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Okay, Essex. Newcastle. There we go.
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Um thanks for the podcast it's made many a chaotic
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bath time and double nap time tidy more bearable of
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course for staying sexy and relatable keep on snogging she
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hasn't said that no but.
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That's what we're trying to get snogging back on the
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agenda do you want a quick and before we uh
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bring in the best of yeah do you want a
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quick game of imagine this yeah what people enjoy and
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imagine this someone andy patterson's got a situation they want
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us to imagine I'll read it out.
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Do you want to go first?
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Yeah.
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Imagine a retired police dog looking for part-time vacancies to
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keep him busy.
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Great. Brilliant.
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Okay, he's sat in an armchair with like a cup
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of tea. I can't believe he's sat. And he's sat
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like a human. And he's got a pair of glasses
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on the end of his nose and he's reading the paper.
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Looking for vacancies.
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Okay. Looking for vacancies. It's a great imagine this. Mine
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is so close to Josh's. So mine was a basset
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hound sat in a Lazy Boy armchair. Yeah, nice. He's
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reading a big newspaper, like an old fortune-telling section, and
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he's got a pair of glasses perched on the end
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of his nose. Yeah, perfect.
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Well, what did you have, Josh? What did you have?
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I don't think it was a basset hound.
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It was just a generic dog, because I don't know
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enough about dogs, that it was just a generic kind
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of medium to large-sized dog.
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Right, okay, yeah.
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Well, mine, actually, very differently. Mine's like a German shepherd. Yeah,
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mine's a German shepherd, but he's sort of got what
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is like a Chief Wiggum police shirt on with his.
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Badge that's sort of a bit faded.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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And he's sort of like, not running, but sort of jogging.
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Wasn't a dog's jog? But around the perimeter of a fence,
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and you can sort of see the proper younger dogs
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in there working.
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Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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So I'm here if you need a hand.
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And he's just around the edge of a, yeah, that's
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what I had anyway. Mine's a bit more of an active,
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looking for vacancies. But anyway, that's Imagine This.
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Lovely game. I've imagined this.
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Do you know what we need?
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We need to be sponsored by an AI company so
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they can draw that for us as we say it live.
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In the meantime, though, here is the best of. Enjoy.
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Charlie Baker, welcome to Parenting Hour. You've been on before,
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have you? I've been on before. On Zoom. Was it
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during lockdown?
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Haven't you? There was a.
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What percentage are you putting on your confidence?
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I was 95% sure, but because now we're doing it
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in person, my body goes, you've not done this before
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because it's the first time you've seen Charlie in this chair,
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but obviously we'd have seen you on Zoom during lockdown.
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And I know your body has a very strong reaction
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to me, Rob.
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I am.
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I'm an energy guy. And I feed off you. You're
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a radiator. Some people are drainers.
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That's true.
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Depends how much sleep you've had. I don't think you're... No,
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I don't think Josh.
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Is a drag. No, I'm joking. He's energy.
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Charlie hasn't had... Because he's kind.
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Yes.
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Josh is kind.
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Charlie hasn't had much sleep.
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I've had a snooze.
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So where did you have a snooze?
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I did breakfast. I did a very early show this morning.
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Talk to me about this. 5 till 6.30. Picked up
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at 3.
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Oh, my God.
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I did 5 till 6.30. On Virgin.
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On Virgin.
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So you picked up at.
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Three?
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Picked up at three. That feels like early.
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It feels too early.
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I'm not. Look.
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Do you want a coffee? First world problems. I'm not
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going to. You got picked up.
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I got picked up. Yeah. Exactly.
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And you live at Oxfordshire way?
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No, no.
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I'm staying in London with my friend.
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What? And you got picked up at three? Don't look.
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Do you have a spare room in someone's house? A
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spare room in someone's house.
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Yeah, but that's meant... You can't stay in someone's house
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and get picked up at three.
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But also getting to sleep.
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Do not knock when you're waiting outside.
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Can you imagine if your driver knocked and woke up
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at the house?
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Also, they call it caddy dreams. I don't know if
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you know that. You're getting into golf, Rob.
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Yeah.
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Caddy dreams. Caddies never get proper sleep when it's a
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tournament weekend.
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Why?
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Because they have to... get to the course, set it
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up for their goal. So they're just sort of like
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in and out. So I'm like, I am going to
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sleep through this alarm.
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Yeah, I had it the other night when I did
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the Dermot O'Leary show. And I had together a seven
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for eight, which I thought was reasonable.
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Come on. He's three for five. So he's three for five. Anyway,
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finished by half six.
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Pretty good.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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So I went home. Went home, went to sleep.
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Why don't they just get you all at four?
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Why don't they.
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Say that, Josh? Hello, Virgin Radio. I think you'd be
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happy to do four. I'm only doing it for a week.
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It's not my show. I'm sitting in for someone, so.
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But I've had a snooze. And I am... Excellent snoozer. Yeah.
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Since being a dad, my napping ability has gone through
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the roof where I can sleep anywhere at any time.
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Yeah.
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That's because you're content, Rob. Is that what it is?
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It's because you're content.
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Is it?
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It's the sleeping, the sleep of the just. You sleep
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well on trains, don't you, Josh? And you love a train.
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So the other day I did the Dermot show and
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I got on the train at half ten to go
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back to.
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And I was on a table. Did I tell you this?
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Yeah, you told me, yeah. So you can feel free
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to tell.
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Charlie as well. Put on my puffer jacket, did it up,
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did the hood so it was nice and snug. absolute
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effing lie. Do you know what? Spotted.
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I'd have loved to have had a photo of that.
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It's not even spotted because I'm basically looking someone in
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the eye putting my puffer jacket on.
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Kenny from South Park.
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Yeah.
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Someone killed Josh. What nap have you had then? You
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went back to your friends at seven.
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I went back to my friends but what I'm good
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at is there's a green room. So were they out?
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Were they out? They were out, yeah.
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No, I actually got back and they were leaving. Who's
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your friend, Charlie? Who's my friend?
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Yeah. How do you decide?
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Did you touch I'm godfather to their children.
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Oh, right. So it's tip for tat.
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I've known them my whole life.
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Yeah, right.
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And you've said, look, I'm in town doing this. Can
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I stay? I'm not great at staying at people's houses.
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I don't like that. I hate it.
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I would hate that. I'd rather.
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Well, to be fair, you're not.
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You're not sleeping for three hours before you leave.
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What time are you going to bed?
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Nine o'clock.
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And then.
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Oh, God.
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And then.
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And then I'm just lying there for two hours.
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Of course.
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Pretending I'm not asleep.
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Still not asleep. Oh, good. Here come the thoughts.
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I can nap, but I can't sleep with the thoughts
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coming when I sleep. But when I nap, there's thoughts
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out there.
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So I've got two techniques.
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Have you heard of brown noise? Yeah, I do brown noise.
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Brown noise. So that's why you like trains, because that's
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brown noise. But this is the technique I learned. which
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is the best technique if you need. This is from
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doing a matinee and an evening performance and having like
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an hour between.
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You could do this with your 11 to eights or whatever.
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Yeah, I nap between shows. Have a cup of coffee
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before you nap. Set the alarm. For 45 minutes.
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Are you mental?
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No.
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So is it not kicked in yet? It doesn't kick in.
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00:09:28.139 --> 00:09:30.019
It takes 45 minutes to kick in. No.
256
00:09:30.460 --> 00:09:31.019
No, it doesn't.
257
00:09:31.039 --> 00:09:34.019
So you wake up. Also, if you're having a snooze,
258
00:09:34.840 --> 00:09:36.840
set an alarm. Don't just let it drift.
259
00:09:36.940 --> 00:09:37.559
Yeah, of course.
260
00:09:37.600 --> 00:09:40.769
So 45 minutes max? 45 minutes max. And then....
261
00:09:41.860 --> 00:09:42.100
You're in.
262
00:09:42.100 --> 00:09:43.639
Have a cup of coffee and go to bed. Have
263
00:09:43.659 --> 00:09:45.860
a cup of coffee and then have your sleep. And
264
00:09:45.899 --> 00:09:47.700
it will kick in. Oof, when you wake up. Well,
265
00:09:47.720 --> 00:09:48.500
he's off caffeine.
266
00:09:48.870 --> 00:09:49.299
Oh, God.
267
00:09:49.370 --> 00:09:50.919
Well, isn't he off? Yeah, exactly.
268
00:09:50.919 --> 00:09:51.960
What do you do?
269
00:09:51.960 --> 00:09:53.090
What are you on?
270
00:09:53.090 --> 00:09:55.250
Do you know what I'm on? Heroin.
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00:09:55.250 --> 00:09:56.659
Trains and heroin.
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00:09:56.659 --> 00:09:57.419
I'm on life.
273
00:09:57.419 --> 00:09:59.840
Big puffer jacket. That's what he's doing in his puffer jacket.
274
00:09:59.860 --> 00:10:00.419
You're on life.
275
00:10:00.840 --> 00:10:01.440
You're on life.
276
00:10:01.480 --> 00:10:03.679
High on life, Josh. High on life. That's nice.
277
00:10:03.700 --> 00:10:04.299
High on Devon.
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00:10:04.899 --> 00:10:05.340
High on Devon.
279
00:10:05.379 --> 00:10:08.019
Devon life. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My manor.
280
00:10:08.440 --> 00:10:08.960
Your manor.
281
00:10:09.299 --> 00:10:11.519
You're one of the few people who I know who
282
00:10:11.570 --> 00:10:13.830
grew up in Devon who's in the entertainment industry.
283
00:10:13.850 --> 00:10:15.269
Yeah. It's me, you.
284
00:10:15.429 --> 00:10:15.750
Geoffrey.
285
00:10:16.269 --> 00:10:18.169
Geoffrey was Cornwall. Cornish. Yeah.
286
00:10:18.350 --> 00:10:20.700
Double French. Dawn French. Although she was born in Plymouth.
287
00:10:20.720 --> 00:10:21.639
No, she was born in Plymouth.
288
00:10:22.399 --> 00:10:23.019
Ah.
289
00:10:23.899 --> 00:10:24.590
Ollie Watkins.
290
00:10:25.350 --> 00:10:29.370
Ollie Watkins. There's one of S Club 7. Chris Martin.
291
00:10:29.409 --> 00:10:29.490
No.
292
00:10:29.769 --> 00:10:32.429
Chris Martin from Exeter, no?
293
00:10:32.529 --> 00:10:34.289
Yeah. Well, kind of, but not really.
294
00:10:34.429 --> 00:10:34.929
Muse.
295
00:10:35.230 --> 00:10:36.110
Muse.
296
00:10:36.250 --> 00:10:38.340
Muse. Muse, as they call him. Muse.
297
00:10:38.639 --> 00:10:41.200
But I very rarely meet up with Matt Bellamy and
298
00:10:41.240 --> 00:10:42.480
talk about Devon, sadly.
299
00:10:42.860 --> 00:10:45.120
When Timothy Peer was washing away the other week.
300
00:10:45.279 --> 00:10:45.679
Yeah.
301
00:10:45.840 --> 00:10:49.679
Timothy's a... Little seaside town in South Devon where Mews
302
00:10:49.720 --> 00:10:50.179
are from.
303
00:10:50.240 --> 00:10:50.480
Right.
304
00:10:51.340 --> 00:10:55.100
And when those storms were around the other day, some
305
00:10:55.120 --> 00:10:56.879
of the pier was washed away. And it's like quite
306
00:10:56.899 --> 00:10:59.759
a sad thing, you know. All the Facebook groups were,
307
00:11:00.240 --> 00:11:01.759
can't Mews get involved?
308
00:11:01.899 --> 00:11:06.379
They haven't had a song out in 10 years, have they?
309
00:11:08.379 --> 00:11:15.909
Someone get Mews on the phone. I nearly said Josh Widdicombe. Yeah.
310
00:11:16.080 --> 00:11:18.220
He's from around here and he's local now. Why don't
311
00:11:18.240 --> 00:11:20.659
you pay for the new pier, Josh?
312
00:11:21.299 --> 00:11:24.190
Because I've got a mortgage. Yeah, exactly. Exactly.
313
00:11:24.399 --> 00:11:25.320
You're in Exeter, which is nice.
314
00:11:25.340 --> 00:11:27.820
I'm in Exeter. So would you ever move your family back?
315
00:11:28.080 --> 00:11:31.230
You've asked me this and we've discussed it, John. Well,
316
00:11:31.250 --> 00:11:33.210
your kids, you've got a 10-year-old and a 17-year-old. Well,
317
00:11:33.250 --> 00:11:36.830
it's difficult, isn't it? Because I would, but I've got
318
00:11:36.870 --> 00:11:38.809
to work. Oh, so you would go back there?
319
00:11:38.870 --> 00:11:39.450
I would, yeah.
320
00:11:39.509 --> 00:11:42.049
My parents are still there. My family is still there. Well,
321
00:11:42.070 --> 00:11:44.759
your wife would go there? My wife's sister's there and
322
00:11:44.799 --> 00:11:45.340
her husband.
323
00:11:45.500 --> 00:11:45.840
Okay.
324
00:11:46.320 --> 00:11:47.259
But everyone's there.
325
00:11:48.299 --> 00:11:50.809
We've always discussed it because obviously where you live now
326
00:11:50.850 --> 00:11:52.409
is great for work because you're having to stay at
327
00:11:52.429 --> 00:11:54.409
your mate's house he seemed incredibly.
328
00:11:54.009 --> 00:11:56.090
Excited to be near his wife's sister.
329
00:11:56.149 --> 00:11:57.610
Yeah that was probably I'll tell you that was the
330
00:11:57.629 --> 00:11:59.429
headline out of the lot yeah my wife's.
331
00:11:59.220 --> 00:12:02.730
Sister's there so I wouldn't mind going back Well.
332
00:12:03.549 --> 00:12:04.870
She listens to this podcast, actually.
333
00:12:05.029 --> 00:12:06.149
Oh, that's what it was then.
334
00:12:06.169 --> 00:12:07.730
So, you know, I was shouting her out there.
335
00:12:08.009 --> 00:12:08.330
Oh, yeah.
336
00:12:08.529 --> 00:12:11.320
And is she a good sister-in-law? Very nice sister-in-law, yeah.
337
00:12:11.360 --> 00:12:15.259
Very good. There she is.
338
00:12:15.580 --> 00:12:16.399
Very nice.
339
00:12:16.419 --> 00:12:19.940
Very nice. So, let's remind everyone of your kids. You've
340
00:12:19.980 --> 00:12:21.389
got a boy who's 17.
341
00:12:21.389 --> 00:12:22.129
18. 18.
342
00:12:22.129 --> 00:12:23.679
And your daughter's 10. My daughter's 10.
343
00:12:23.669 --> 00:12:24.049
Yeah, yeah.
344
00:12:24.070 --> 00:12:25.889
I don't know how old they were in the last podcast.
345
00:12:25.909 --> 00:12:28.870
That's interesting, isn't it? Anyway, 18. Probably five years ago.
346
00:12:28.889 --> 00:12:29.070
Yeah.
347
00:12:29.659 --> 00:12:33.110
So 18 is he presumably still lives with you.
348
00:12:33.409 --> 00:12:35.269
He's still he will do as long as he wants
349
00:12:35.330 --> 00:12:36.190
as long as he wants to.
350
00:12:36.149 --> 00:12:37.490
Live with us well this is the thing it's a
351
00:12:37.509 --> 00:12:39.690
very different world to the one we lived in isn't
352
00:12:39.710 --> 00:12:43.429
it in that children just can't financially afford to leave.
353
00:12:43.429 --> 00:12:45.519
No but I don't expect I mean I left at
354
00:12:45.519 --> 00:12:50.000
18 yeah to move to London and probably shouldn't have
355
00:12:50.379 --> 00:12:52.580
looking back at it so what did you study I
356
00:12:52.620 --> 00:12:55.259
went to drama school yeah god first night I got
357
00:12:55.299 --> 00:12:57.830
to London I had my bike which I'd had since
358
00:12:57.870 --> 00:13:00.240
I was 14 First night, nicked.
359
00:13:01.179 --> 00:13:02.059
Oh, Charlie.
360
00:13:02.399 --> 00:13:03.740
And you'd cycled to London, hadn't you?
361
00:13:03.759 --> 00:13:07.370
I know, all that way. And I rang my dad,
362
00:13:07.409 --> 00:13:10.309
and my dad made bikes being nicked. Well, that's a
363
00:13:10.350 --> 00:13:15.610
lesson learned. Hard knocks, you know. Lesson learned. You've got
364
00:13:15.629 --> 00:13:16.750
a straw in your ears, haven't you?
365
00:13:16.769 --> 00:13:17.620
That's what it was.
366
00:13:17.649 --> 00:13:19.320
It's the way they would say.
367
00:13:19.340 --> 00:13:21.179
So where had you left your bike?
368
00:13:21.759 --> 00:13:22.500
Oh, I lived in.
369
00:13:22.779 --> 00:13:24.759
Just on the side in Trafalgar Square. Yeah.
370
00:13:26.559 --> 00:13:31.940
Just outside Buckingham Palace. Only not on the Lion Fountain.
371
00:13:33.620 --> 00:13:35.440
I'm off to Madame Tussauds. I'll pick it up in
372
00:13:35.500 --> 00:13:35.919
a few hours.
373
00:13:36.000 --> 00:13:38.159
In London, Houses of Parliament. So would you not have
374
00:13:38.200 --> 00:13:40.000
locked your bike up then? I think I did, but
375
00:13:40.580 --> 00:13:41.460
those wise guys, Rob.
376
00:13:41.480 --> 00:13:42.370
This will blow your mind, Rob.
377
00:13:42.379 --> 00:13:43.659
Those London wise guys.
378
00:13:44.179 --> 00:13:48.230
We, when I was growing up, we didn't have, and this,
379
00:13:48.970 --> 00:13:50.669
so you know how isolated Riley was.
380
00:13:50.690 --> 00:13:51.629
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
381
00:13:51.870 --> 00:13:54.289
We didn't have a key to our house.
382
00:13:55.419 --> 00:13:56.799
I think you just walk in and out.
383
00:13:57.139 --> 00:13:57.659
Yeah.
384
00:13:57.899 --> 00:13:59.480
So how does he know where I started your house is?
385
00:13:59.759 --> 00:14:00.659
Well, he knows where I'm from.
386
00:14:00.679 --> 00:14:02.580
I know where he's from. What's it like where he's from?
387
00:14:03.419 --> 00:14:05.080
And Josh is a lot more rural than I am.
388
00:14:05.120 --> 00:14:06.080
Are they simple folk?
389
00:14:06.440 --> 00:14:06.720
No.
390
00:14:06.919 --> 00:14:09.110
No, no, no. Josh is clever. You can tell he's clever. No,
391
00:14:09.139 --> 00:14:11.830
but he got out. I know. Well, that's the... Now,
392
00:14:12.129 --> 00:14:13.309
so this is the thing.
393
00:14:13.330 --> 00:14:15.970
This is the thing I'll discuss with you, actually, Josh,
394
00:14:16.009 --> 00:14:16.850
about moving back.
395
00:14:17.730 --> 00:14:21.370
Here's a reason that part of me is fighting moving back.
396
00:14:21.450 --> 00:14:21.610
Yeah.
397
00:14:21.629 --> 00:14:24.730
I feel like a massive failure.
398
00:14:25.809 --> 00:14:26.330
Well, I think.
399
00:14:26.350 --> 00:14:28.100
You feel like a failure. No, no, I don't feel
400
00:14:28.120 --> 00:14:28.799
like a failure.
401
00:14:28.919 --> 00:14:30.649
I think you feel like that everywhere, Charlie.
402
00:14:30.750 --> 00:14:30.870
But.
403
00:14:31.580 --> 00:14:34.679
I think I spent my whole childhood going, I've got to.
404
00:14:34.639 --> 00:14:35.200
Get out of here.
405
00:14:35.379 --> 00:14:37.590
Right, and going back, you failed. I'm getting out of here.
406
00:14:37.679 --> 00:14:38.509
Yeah, I did that.
407
00:14:39.029 --> 00:14:40.190
I am leaving this.
408
00:14:40.450 --> 00:14:41.490
Yeah, exactly.
409
00:14:41.590 --> 00:14:46.070
These knuckle-dragging farming twats. I didn't say that. Sorry, not that.
410
00:14:46.350 --> 00:14:46.970
Not that, sorry.
411
00:14:47.110 --> 00:14:49.029
Bear in mind, your last tour, you had a pasty
412
00:14:49.049 --> 00:14:51.029
on the mic stand. Exactly, yeah, yeah, yeah.
413
00:14:51.049 --> 00:14:53.750
You haven't renounced it for a life of, you know,
414
00:14:54.250 --> 00:14:55.509
metropolitan elite.
415
00:14:55.769 --> 00:14:56.500
But that's what it is.
416
00:14:56.509 --> 00:14:59.299
It's a thing of returning. And then you just walk
417
00:14:59.340 --> 00:15:00.799
in that local pub and they go, here he is.
418
00:15:01.159 --> 00:15:02.100
Yeah, but also.
419
00:15:02.120 --> 00:15:02.399
Wow.
420
00:15:02.519 --> 00:15:03.039
Wow, wow!
421
00:15:06.200 --> 00:15:10.159
The great actors return. Oh, not doing the acting no more, no?
422
00:15:10.220 --> 00:15:14.830
How'd you get on up London? 40 years later, 30
423
00:15:14.830 --> 00:15:15.500
years later.
424
00:15:15.500 --> 00:15:16.590
30 years later.
425
00:15:16.850 --> 00:15:19.789
I thought you'd moved up London. Up London is such
426
00:15:19.830 --> 00:15:23.070
an out-of-town thing to say. Because I'm from London.
427
00:15:23.309 --> 00:15:25.850
But it's such, you know, if you leave your hometown
428
00:15:26.309 --> 00:15:28.210
to go somewhere, to do something, you can't go back
429
00:15:28.230 --> 00:15:28.950
unless you feel like.
430
00:15:29.509 --> 00:15:30.970
No, I don't know. I think.
431
00:15:31.470 --> 00:15:33.029
How do you feel? Well, he's sat there with a
432
00:15:33.070 --> 00:15:37.019
clenched fist. LAUGHTER I haven't failed.
433
00:15:38.279 --> 00:15:39.320
I've won awards.
434
00:15:39.379 --> 00:15:42.019
I think it's a sign of mellowing. It's a sign
435
00:15:42.039 --> 00:15:44.179
of going, what am I trying to prove?
436
00:15:44.440 --> 00:15:45.840
Your career mellowing, are you?
437
00:15:45.860 --> 00:15:49.240
Because I'm about to turn 50. No, you look great
438
00:15:49.299 --> 00:15:52.340
for it. Is that the hair? Well, I look like
439
00:15:52.360 --> 00:15:53.539
I've been to Turkey and I haven't.
440
00:15:53.899 --> 00:15:54.399
It's great.
441
00:15:54.419 --> 00:15:56.899
The hairline's outrageous for 50.
442
00:15:56.899 --> 00:15:59.330
So your worry is going back. Well, yeah.
443
00:15:59.610 --> 00:16:02.730
And it's that thing of, I think also your kids
444
00:16:02.750 --> 00:16:03.750
are of an age. I don't want to mellow. If
445
00:16:03.830 --> 00:16:06.049
I'm mellowing, I tell you what it is, it feels like,
446
00:16:06.070 --> 00:16:06.830
am I giving up?
447
00:16:07.250 --> 00:16:07.669
Yes.
448
00:16:08.120 --> 00:16:10.340
If you're tired of London, you're tired of life. He
449
00:16:10.360 --> 00:16:12.279
doesn't even live in London. I don't even live in London. Okay,
450
00:16:12.299 --> 00:16:15.529
you're tired of a beautiful Oxfordshire village. You're tired of...
451
00:16:15.779 --> 00:16:16.980
If you're tired of that, what do you want?
452
00:16:17.080 --> 00:16:18.600
Isn't Boris Johnson in your village?
453
00:16:18.659 --> 00:16:21.519
He's in the village next door. Do you see him much?
454
00:16:22.159 --> 00:16:23.820
I never see him. My wife sees him.
455
00:16:24.600 --> 00:16:24.860
Oh, yeah?
456
00:16:24.879 --> 00:16:25.639
Oh, yeah.
457
00:16:27.559 --> 00:16:29.980
No wonder you're moving on to the sister. Apparently, when he.
458
00:16:30.220 --> 00:16:32.919
Apparently... I'm not. Apparently.
459
00:16:32.960 --> 00:16:35.899
Horrible runner for Charlie.
460
00:16:36.019 --> 00:16:39.179
And she listens to this.
461
00:16:39.230 --> 00:16:42.789
A little bit of fun for us is going to
462
00:16:42.870 --> 00:16:44.429
haunt him for the next six years.
463
00:16:44.470 --> 00:16:45.149
Rest of my life.
464
00:16:45.370 --> 00:16:48.730
Brother-in-law, give me a cup of tea, look at me
465
00:16:48.750 --> 00:16:49.080
in the eye.
466
00:16:57.190 --> 00:16:58.509
And now you've got teenagers.
467
00:16:58.960 --> 00:17:01.120
Yes, so they're 15 and 18 now.
468
00:17:01.139 --> 00:17:04.680
And does that feel like you're kind of almost... Is
469
00:17:04.720 --> 00:17:06.119
it quite chilled?
470
00:17:06.539 --> 00:17:10.240
For me, yes. I mean, everyone has different experiences. I
471
00:17:10.339 --> 00:17:12.059
am a big fan of the teenage years.
472
00:17:12.380 --> 00:17:12.759
Are you?
473
00:17:12.779 --> 00:17:14.809
Because I hear a lot of people complaining about it,
474
00:17:14.839 --> 00:17:17.759
and sometimes I'm sure with really good reason. But I
475
00:17:17.809 --> 00:17:20.450
feel like people are quite negative about the teen years,
476
00:17:20.509 --> 00:17:22.130
and I sort of think as a parent, I'd quite
477
00:17:22.170 --> 00:17:25.730
like to be a champion of them. Like, they were definitely...
478
00:17:26.079 --> 00:17:29.059
you know, big difficult things about being a parent of teenagers.
479
00:17:29.119 --> 00:17:31.960
You get like adult size problems that your children are
480
00:17:32.000 --> 00:17:34.589
dealing with for the first time. And that's quite hard.
481
00:17:34.619 --> 00:17:36.789
You know, when your kids are sort of muddy puddles ages,
482
00:17:37.309 --> 00:17:39.369
like something goes wrong, you can kind of manage it
483
00:17:39.430 --> 00:17:42.890
for them. And obviously at these ages, that starts to change.
484
00:17:42.910 --> 00:17:44.190
I'm still at the age where I think I can
485
00:17:44.250 --> 00:17:45.990
fix everything, but you just can't do that.
486
00:17:46.009 --> 00:17:48.849
You can't, you know, and your role becomes, you become
487
00:17:48.890 --> 00:17:50.750
more of like a supporting actor than like.
488
00:17:50.630 --> 00:17:53.279
A main protagonist. Do you know what I mean?
489
00:17:53.859 --> 00:17:57.140
And so that's definitely like a tricky transition. But I'm
490
00:17:57.549 --> 00:17:58.970
such a big fan of the teenagers.
491
00:17:59.029 --> 00:17:59.480
I love it.
492
00:17:59.990 --> 00:18:02.230
It's I mean, apart from the fact that like it's
493
00:18:02.269 --> 00:18:05.630
just so exciting, you know, seeing all of these firsts like,
494
00:18:06.109 --> 00:18:08.170
you know, who your kids are going to be. You
495
00:18:08.190 --> 00:18:09.990
get a real sense of them as grown ups, the
496
00:18:10.029 --> 00:18:12.079
way you hang out together, you know, the things that
497
00:18:12.099 --> 00:18:14.539
they love. You can kind of share the stuff that
498
00:18:14.559 --> 00:18:18.220
they're into with you. Like my eldest came up to
499
00:18:18.259 --> 00:18:21.170
me last night and he was like, mum. have you
500
00:18:21.230 --> 00:18:23.940
ever heard Goldfraps, Felt Mountain?
501
00:18:24.619 --> 00:18:26.680
And I was like, yeah, yeah, I have.
502
00:18:26.720 --> 00:18:29.440
And he's like, good album, good album.
503
00:18:29.819 --> 00:18:32.940
Because they've got all music at their fingertips because of.
504
00:18:33.140 --> 00:18:35.720
Yeah, they know, that's the weird thing, it's like kids
505
00:18:35.779 --> 00:18:39.569
know all music. So the other week I was playing,
506
00:18:39.710 --> 00:18:45.589
we had a playlist of my husband's on and my goddaughter,
507
00:18:45.670 --> 00:18:47.829
who's around our house a lot, my best friend's daughter,
508
00:18:48.470 --> 00:18:54.480
She was like, is this Depeche Mode? And my 15-year-old went, yeah, yeah,
509
00:18:54.660 --> 00:18:56.200
it's Enjoy the Silence or whatever it was.
510
00:18:56.559 --> 00:18:59.339
You know, like, they know... It's great for the algorithm
511
00:18:59.400 --> 00:18:59.680
for music.
512
00:18:59.700 --> 00:19:01.700
It's great because if you go, I quite like this song,
513
00:19:01.720 --> 00:19:03.680
it will literally bring you up 10 other songs that
514
00:19:03.700 --> 00:19:05.099
are like that from the last 60 years.
515
00:19:05.119 --> 00:19:09.119
And they just know everything. So my 18-year-old, he's really into, like,
516
00:19:09.279 --> 00:19:13.740
everything from hip-hop to, you know, alternative indie. But he's got, like,
517
00:19:13.789 --> 00:19:18.119
a three-hour... like Stan Getz, bossing over playlist. Do you
518
00:19:18.140 --> 00:19:18.480
know what I mean?
519
00:19:18.509 --> 00:19:19.390
It's three hours long.
520
00:19:20.450 --> 00:19:22.650
I couldn't make a three hour bossing over playlist, but
521
00:19:22.690 --> 00:19:25.069
he's from bossing over to drum and bass. They know
522
00:19:25.170 --> 00:19:25.529
all of it.
523
00:19:25.549 --> 00:19:27.549
Because back in the day, if you like music, say
524
00:19:27.569 --> 00:19:29.970
you were into like heavy metal, you'd have to go.
525
00:19:30.170 --> 00:19:32.140
It'd be like your older brother might have a mate
526
00:19:32.220 --> 00:19:33.779
at school who was into heavy metal.
527
00:19:33.940 --> 00:19:34.640
The gatekeeper.
528
00:19:34.819 --> 00:19:35.000
Yeah.
529
00:19:35.019 --> 00:19:36.680
And you've got to speak to them and have like
530
00:19:36.720 --> 00:19:38.900
five songs or an album. But now you can just,
531
00:19:38.940 --> 00:19:41.849
the whole internet is there to access it. It's incredible. Yeah.
532
00:19:42.109 --> 00:19:44.329
He's going to make some incredible artists in the next
533
00:19:44.329 --> 00:19:44.589
20 years.
534
00:19:44.630 --> 00:19:46.769
Well, I mean, I think it is. On a serious point,
535
00:19:46.829 --> 00:19:49.589
I do think that's why we look at the breakdown
536
00:19:49.609 --> 00:19:53.400
of genre. Sort of starting, I think, in the mid-naughties,
537
00:19:53.440 --> 00:19:55.160
you can see an artist like Amy Winehouse.
538
00:19:55.380 --> 00:19:55.579
Yeah.
539
00:19:55.720 --> 00:19:58.720
To me, she represents the beginning of that sort of
540
00:19:58.779 --> 00:20:02.859
digital culture where all the reference points exist in perpetuity
541
00:20:02.900 --> 00:20:05.960
on the internet. So she's got this kind of Shangri-La sound.
542
00:20:06.359 --> 00:20:08.900
but she's got a very kind of colloquial, modern way
543
00:20:08.960 --> 00:20:12.759
of writing her lyrics. And then this kind of soulful voice.
544
00:20:13.140 --> 00:20:17.650
So all these different kind of non-contemporary influences coming together.
545
00:20:18.029 --> 00:20:19.910
And that's sort of what modern music is. You know,
546
00:20:19.950 --> 00:20:22.410
modern pop music is very literate in all those things.
547
00:20:22.670 --> 00:20:23.470
Do you know what?
548
00:20:23.509 --> 00:20:25.269
That's the best point we've ever had made on here.
549
00:20:25.470 --> 00:20:26.730
I'm going to pass that off as my own.
550
00:20:26.750 --> 00:20:27.150
Please do.
551
00:20:27.369 --> 00:20:29.119
It's yours.
552
00:20:29.140 --> 00:20:32.859
Wasn't it my perception of it though, wasn't it? Rob
553
00:20:32.880 --> 00:20:33.319
set it up.
554
00:20:33.339 --> 00:20:34.500
You two have come up with it and I'm going
555
00:20:34.519 --> 00:20:38.109
to use it. Swooping. Yeah, swooping.
556
00:20:38.190 --> 00:20:39.130
The humble jog.
557
00:20:39.829 --> 00:20:42.589
If you could just chip that bit out, Michael.
558
00:20:43.170 --> 00:20:45.670
My wife said, when I said that you were on this,
559
00:20:45.750 --> 00:20:48.700
she said, oh, she said something I loved, Lauren Laverne.
560
00:20:49.220 --> 00:20:53.480
She said that when she had kids, it was great
561
00:20:53.500 --> 00:20:55.380
because she stopped trying to be cool.
562
00:20:55.869 --> 00:20:56.140
Oh, yeah.
563
00:20:56.670 --> 00:20:58.809
Very much so. I mean, it's humbling, isn't it? This
564
00:20:58.849 --> 00:21:01.369
is obviously every parent knows this. It's just a massive
565
00:21:01.470 --> 00:21:03.430
kind of exercise in ego death.
566
00:21:05.670 --> 00:21:06.490
I think for me, it was good.
567
00:21:06.529 --> 00:21:09.490
I was relatively young when I had kids. So I
568
00:21:09.529 --> 00:21:13.009
had my first son at, I guess, 28, 29. And
569
00:21:13.029 --> 00:21:16.410
then my second one was 30, 31.
570
00:21:16.410 --> 00:21:18.750
We're of that generation where that's considered like young.
571
00:21:18.769 --> 00:21:21.750
Yeah, well, the funny thing was, I remember after I
572
00:21:21.789 --> 00:21:23.529
had my first son, there was only me and my
573
00:21:23.549 --> 00:21:26.509
best friend had kids at the same time. Nobody else
574
00:21:26.529 --> 00:21:28.549
that I knew had kids. Nobody else had sort of
575
00:21:28.569 --> 00:21:32.019
got to that point yet, really. And I went out
576
00:21:32.059 --> 00:21:35.579
with my auntie and she came down to London to
577
00:21:35.680 --> 00:21:38.559
see the baby. My auntie Jean and my mum, my
578
00:21:38.579 --> 00:21:40.789
mum was already there. And we all went out to
579
00:21:40.809 --> 00:21:42.500
a cafe and I remember my auntie Jean going, The
580
00:21:42.519 --> 00:21:44.559
good thing is, pet, you're an older mother.
581
00:21:45.859 --> 00:21:47.400
And I promise.
582
00:21:47.160 --> 00:21:49.099
You, I felt like I was about like 15 with
583
00:21:49.279 --> 00:21:49.920
this baby.
584
00:21:49.940 --> 00:21:51.720
I was like, what am I going to do with
585
00:21:51.740 --> 00:21:52.400
this baby?
586
00:21:52.440 --> 00:21:55.900
Like, you know, it just felt so out of my depth.
587
00:21:56.420 --> 00:21:59.480
But she was like, oh, 29, you know, practically a
588
00:21:59.500 --> 00:22:02.000
grandma kind of thing. So it's funny.
589
00:22:02.240 --> 00:22:04.779
How was it being like down south, though, in a
590
00:22:04.799 --> 00:22:07.460
sort of industry where being a mum at that age
591
00:22:07.680 --> 00:22:11.430
and taking time off and, You know, women's bodies were
592
00:22:11.450 --> 00:22:13.569
so under the microscope that whole time and being away
593
00:22:13.589 --> 00:22:14.289
from your family.
594
00:22:14.309 --> 00:22:15.990
Was it stressful? Was it worrying?
595
00:22:16.009 --> 00:22:18.150
Well, also, this is 20 years ago now, right? So
596
00:22:18.210 --> 00:22:20.230
it was a very different time. So, I mean, I got,
597
00:22:20.289 --> 00:22:22.730
I think, four weeks maternity leave with my first son.
598
00:22:22.759 --> 00:22:23.170
Oh, my God.
599
00:22:23.190 --> 00:22:23.950
What were you doing?
600
00:22:24.079 --> 00:22:26.880
I was doing a TV show. And while I was off,
601
00:22:27.430 --> 00:22:30.700
I was getting texts from people on the TV show going, oh,
602
00:22:30.740 --> 00:22:32.119
such and such is after your job.
603
00:22:32.220 --> 00:22:34.720
Oh, my God. To try and scare you into coming back.
604
00:22:34.740 --> 00:22:35.440
Yeah, to scare me in.
605
00:22:36.690 --> 00:22:39.670
So, you know, it was a different industry back then.
606
00:22:40.609 --> 00:22:42.910
I mean, luckily I was always able to work part time,
607
00:22:42.950 --> 00:22:45.430
which really helped. But, you know, when I had my kids,
608
00:22:45.589 --> 00:22:47.819
I really had no expectation that I would be able
609
00:22:47.859 --> 00:22:51.200
to continue to have a career. I was doing radio
610
00:22:51.259 --> 00:22:56.079
on TV at that point. And I just sort of thought, oh, well,
611
00:22:56.339 --> 00:22:58.779
this probably I'm going to have to go to university
612
00:22:58.819 --> 00:23:01.220
when they're old enough. I thought my husband would keep working.
613
00:23:01.839 --> 00:23:04.529
And then, and because we were both working in telly,
614
00:23:04.569 --> 00:23:09.720
he was working in production. And then, weirdly, just over
615
00:23:09.740 --> 00:23:12.779
the next couple of years, we had another baby. And then, actually,
616
00:23:12.819 --> 00:23:14.769
I was about to have that second baby. It just
617
00:23:14.849 --> 00:23:18.309
all went whoosh. And my career started to take off.
618
00:23:18.349 --> 00:23:20.950
And the maths just changed. Suddenly, it was one of
619
00:23:20.970 --> 00:23:23.470
those things where, actually, if I go out to work
620
00:23:23.509 --> 00:23:27.390
for the afternoon, part-time, it's more sensible if I do that.
621
00:23:27.609 --> 00:23:29.190
And you are.
622
00:23:29.130 --> 00:23:29.730
Here with the kids.
623
00:23:29.759 --> 00:23:30.799
So then we sort of switched.
624
00:23:31.019 --> 00:23:35.710
Because was TV... Because, obviously... I'm originally aware of you
625
00:23:36.009 --> 00:23:36.910
as a pop star.
626
00:23:37.390 --> 00:23:38.529
Wow, that's a stretch.
627
00:23:38.730 --> 00:23:39.829
Yeah, in a band.
628
00:23:40.559 --> 00:23:42.680
And so then I knew you in a band and
629
00:23:42.740 --> 00:23:45.460
then was TV a decision or did you kind of
630
00:23:45.519 --> 00:23:46.819
drift into it from that?
631
00:23:46.839 --> 00:23:49.220
I fell into it from being on Buzzcocks and things
632
00:23:49.289 --> 00:23:50.950
like that. You know, I was on those sorts of
633
00:23:50.990 --> 00:23:54.220
shows and then, In those days, there was so much telly, right?
634
00:23:54.259 --> 00:23:57.630
So this is like pre-internet. There was like hours and
635
00:23:57.650 --> 00:23:59.329
hours of cable telly to fill up.
636
00:23:59.670 --> 00:24:00.690
So you got put on cable.
637
00:24:00.710 --> 00:24:01.589
So there was.
638
00:24:01.509 --> 00:24:03.049
People just going, oh, do you want to do a
639
00:24:03.049 --> 00:24:05.359
bit of presenting? Because if you're funny or you look
640
00:24:05.470 --> 00:24:07.579
the part or whatever, they would say, oh, do you
641
00:24:07.599 --> 00:24:10.619
want to do a bit of presenting? And so obviously
642
00:24:10.660 --> 00:24:11.859
I did. It was great shoe money.
643
00:24:11.880 --> 00:24:12.519
Do you know what I mean?
644
00:24:12.539 --> 00:24:15.670
I just thought fun. Why not? And then I did
645
00:24:15.869 --> 00:24:16.650
some radio cover.
646
00:24:16.670 --> 00:24:17.150
What's the phrase?
647
00:24:17.250 --> 00:24:17.750
Shoe money.
648
00:24:17.769 --> 00:24:19.769
Shoe money. You know, so it's just like, yeah, I'll
649
00:24:19.809 --> 00:24:22.329
just like make a little bit of money here and there,
650
00:24:22.349 --> 00:24:23.470
spend it on shoes, fine.
651
00:24:23.650 --> 00:24:23.910
Great.
652
00:24:24.039 --> 00:24:25.859
But no, so I sort of fell into doing the
653
00:24:25.900 --> 00:24:28.180
telly and then actually got the chance to do a
654
00:24:28.180 --> 00:24:29.859
bit of radio and I really loved that.
655
00:24:30.099 --> 00:24:30.460
Yeah.
656
00:24:30.500 --> 00:24:32.220
There was something about that that I thought, oh, this
657
00:24:32.279 --> 00:24:34.400
is great. Because it's, I always say it's showing off
658
00:24:34.440 --> 00:24:37.789
in private, you know, you're hidden away, but you get
659
00:24:37.829 --> 00:24:40.529
to do, because I'm not really a kind of, being
660
00:24:40.549 --> 00:24:43.609
out the front type person. I'm actually a little bit
661
00:24:43.650 --> 00:24:44.609
more of an introvert, really.
662
00:24:44.630 --> 00:24:47.759
So it's all kind of a stumble and find of it.
663
00:24:47.990 --> 00:24:50.549
Yeah, really it was. I mean, I was supposed to
664
00:24:50.670 --> 00:24:54.470
go to university and I imagined having it, like my
665
00:24:54.490 --> 00:24:58.309
dad was an academic and I thought I wanted to
666
00:24:58.390 --> 00:25:02.539
be a historian and work at a university like he did.
667
00:25:02.630 --> 00:25:04.519
And I wanted to have an office that was like
668
00:25:04.579 --> 00:25:06.819
full of books and have music on really loud like
669
00:25:06.859 --> 00:25:07.440
he used to.
670
00:25:07.500 --> 00:25:08.460
He was a sociologist.
671
00:25:09.160 --> 00:25:12.299
And actually, I kind of have got that life, but
672
00:25:12.339 --> 00:25:14.220
like in a very roundabout way.
673
00:25:14.420 --> 00:25:14.759
Yeah, yeah.
674
00:25:14.940 --> 00:25:17.180
Via a different sort of means. I've now got my
675
00:25:17.839 --> 00:25:20.670
room that's full of books and records. But I just
676
00:25:20.730 --> 00:25:21.569
went about it a different way.
677
00:25:21.589 --> 00:25:22.849
But the records is the thing that's paying the money
678
00:25:22.869 --> 00:25:24.049
rather than the books. Yeah.
679
00:25:27.480 --> 00:25:29.859
This episode is brought to you by Tesco Club Card.
680
00:25:30.099 --> 00:25:33.509
Big news for thrill-seekers, and I consider you one of them, Rob.
681
00:25:33.589 --> 00:25:34.049
Thank you.
682
00:25:34.650 --> 00:25:37.329
Yes, you can get a two-person day ticket to a
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Merlin theme park for £ 56 when you book using Club
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685
00:25:42.089 --> 00:25:45.329
So, Josh, what are we saying? What's your favourite type
686
00:25:45.390 --> 00:25:47.849
of ride? You've heard a lot from me and Lou
687
00:25:48.130 --> 00:25:49.359
and my kids about rides.
688
00:25:49.430 --> 00:25:51.680
I don't get it from you. I feel like you're
689
00:25:51.740 --> 00:25:52.880
a ride-curious.
690
00:25:53.099 --> 00:25:54.619
Do you know what I like, Rob? I like a
691
00:25:54.640 --> 00:25:57.019
big drop. I like a big drop.
692
00:25:57.140 --> 00:25:57.940
I hate the drop.
693
00:25:58.279 --> 00:26:00.220
I hate it and I love it. Do you know
694
00:26:00.240 --> 00:26:00.599
what I mean?
695
00:26:00.740 --> 00:26:01.660
It makes my stomach go.
696
00:26:01.880 --> 00:26:03.140
That's the fun of it, Rob.
697
00:26:03.200 --> 00:26:05.859
That's the fun of it. No, I can't do the drop.
698
00:26:05.900 --> 00:26:09.180
And I sit down and I clasp myself in and
699
00:26:09.200 --> 00:26:11.029
I'm scared and I hate it and I don't want
700
00:26:11.049 --> 00:26:12.529
to go on it. And as soon as I've gone
701
00:26:12.589 --> 00:26:14.109
on it, I never want to go on it again.
702
00:26:14.289 --> 00:26:16.049
But for that moment when I'm falling, I think this
703
00:26:16.109 --> 00:26:17.470
is the best thing that's ever happened.
704
00:26:17.890 --> 00:26:19.690
Either that, Rob, or a pirate ship. I do love
705
00:26:19.730 --> 00:26:20.289
a pirate ship.
706
00:26:20.529 --> 00:26:21.349
What, the swinging one?
707
00:26:21.730 --> 00:26:22.849
Yeah. No.
708
00:26:23.470 --> 00:26:25.819
You love drops. You love that little feeling in your belly,
709
00:26:25.839 --> 00:26:26.259
don't you?
710
00:26:26.470 --> 00:26:28.000
Oh, I love the little tickle in my belly.
711
00:26:28.460 --> 00:26:29.299
Little drop, dude.
712
00:26:29.519 --> 00:26:31.859
Rob, if that's got you in the mood, right, you can.
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Book now so you don't miss out. Visit tesco.com slash
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latest from Clubcard. Tom, welcome back to the podcast. We've
724
00:27:06.559 --> 00:27:09.079
had you on before, but it was on Zoom. And
725
00:27:09.119 --> 00:27:10.220
it was a little bit more of a heavier one.
726
00:27:10.380 --> 00:27:11.559
We spoke a lot about your surrogacy journey.
727
00:27:11.579 --> 00:27:13.180
Let's see how heavy it gets. We don't have to
728
00:27:13.220 --> 00:27:14.349
go heavy again. We may go heavy again. Do you
729
00:27:14.369 --> 00:27:16.069
want to apologise to Romesh publicly?
730
00:27:16.250 --> 00:27:18.190
Yeah, I did feel bad because I sort of announced
731
00:27:18.250 --> 00:27:19.430
the surrogacy story here.
732
00:27:19.730 --> 00:27:20.309
Yeah.
733
00:27:21.069 --> 00:27:23.670
And to be fair, that's how I chose to announce
734
00:27:23.710 --> 00:27:25.980
it to the world. obviously at the time I was
735
00:27:26.019 --> 00:27:28.480
on a tour as well I needed to sell some tickets.
736
00:27:29.119 --> 00:27:31.440
But yeah then you're back on tour yeah yeah.
737
00:27:31.359 --> 00:27:33.460
And I'm back here again um but you know it
738
00:27:33.480 --> 00:27:35.119
was a heavy one it was actually an incredible thing
739
00:27:35.140 --> 00:27:37.140
I've got to say doing this and and the amount
740
00:27:37.160 --> 00:27:39.599
of people still now who reach out about that journey
741
00:27:39.640 --> 00:27:42.720
which is you know kind of I guess why you
742
00:27:42.740 --> 00:27:44.740
do these and you talk about and I've got to
743
00:27:45.059 --> 00:27:48.119
give you both your flowers because you're so beautiful.
744
00:27:48.140 --> 00:27:49.819
And the tour. The tour's the other reason you do it,
745
00:27:49.839 --> 00:27:51.339
isn't it? Yeah, I mean, yeah, the tour is.
746
00:27:51.400 --> 00:27:53.259
Your new tour, Spudgun, which is the reason you're here.
747
00:27:53.279 --> 00:27:53.579
Yeah, yeah.
748
00:27:53.640 --> 00:27:54.670
Especially you love us and.
749
00:27:54.700 --> 00:27:57.309
You know, the beautiful... And my daughter. Do you know what, Tom?
750
00:27:57.450 --> 00:27:58.329
We'll give you the options.
751
00:27:58.349 --> 00:28:02.009
You can discuss the importance of surrogacy or your tour today. No,
752
00:28:02.049 --> 00:28:04.160
I'm not... Definitely talk about the tour.
753
00:28:06.650 --> 00:28:09.109
Or just your daughter in general.
754
00:28:09.490 --> 00:28:13.569
Or the tour. Weirdly, my daughter now basically is the tour.
755
00:28:13.670 --> 00:28:14.710
How old is she? Four.
756
00:28:15.210 --> 00:28:16.289
Why is it called Spudgun?
757
00:28:16.609 --> 00:28:19.910
That was a nickname given to me on building sites.
758
00:28:20.289 --> 00:28:20.849
After Bottom?
759
00:28:21.450 --> 00:28:22.609
I think it was, yeah, After Bottom.
760
00:28:22.630 --> 00:28:24.269
Because there was a character in Spudgun. Yeah, who was
761
00:28:24.289 --> 00:28:26.579
a bit of a, you know, I suppose he was
762
00:28:26.599 --> 00:28:28.039
the idiot of the group in a sense, right?
763
00:28:28.079 --> 00:28:32.279
Big sort of lumbering loser. Oh, yeah.
764
00:28:33.759 --> 00:28:36.519
He goes, one potato or two. Remember that?
765
00:28:37.079 --> 00:28:39.700
No. I love how you said it in such a
766
00:28:40.720 --> 00:28:43.900
sort of big lumbering loser. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I
767
00:28:43.920 --> 00:28:44.559
know you, Rob.
768
00:28:44.660 --> 00:28:47.240
And I know you well enough, Rob, to know that
769
00:28:47.269 --> 00:28:49.210
you've described me that way at some point.
770
00:28:49.250 --> 00:28:50.529
Well, no, never.
771
00:28:50.549 --> 00:28:51.109
You're not.
772
00:28:51.130 --> 00:28:53.650
You're a very funny man, good friend, good guy. No,
773
00:28:53.670 --> 00:28:54.769
but I thought it was that.
774
00:28:54.809 --> 00:28:57.230
And then someone told me it was actually because they
775
00:28:57.269 --> 00:29:00.369
thought it's what you called a younger man who didn't
776
00:29:00.390 --> 00:29:02.970
feel like he had, like he wouldn't shoot sperm, he'd
777
00:29:03.019 --> 00:29:04.180
shoot white watery.
778
00:29:04.700 --> 00:29:05.359
Oh, right.
779
00:29:05.480 --> 00:29:06.160
And they were right.
780
00:29:06.480 --> 00:29:06.720
Yeah.
781
00:29:11.480 --> 00:29:13.460
I'll take that. I'll tell you that.
782
00:29:13.980 --> 00:29:16.160
I have literally, I talk so much about this very
783
00:29:16.180 --> 00:29:17.220
subject in the new tour.
784
00:29:17.319 --> 00:29:18.680
Thank you for the segue in.
785
00:29:19.160 --> 00:29:21.000
So is that what the tour's about then? That linked
786
00:29:21.059 --> 00:29:22.220
between that and that or not?
787
00:29:22.240 --> 00:29:25.250
No, no, it's more about, it's about, the tour's about perception.
788
00:29:25.269 --> 00:29:26.529
The link between that.
789
00:29:26.589 --> 00:29:28.990
I'm just trying to get it back on track though. Yeah,
790
00:29:29.049 --> 00:29:30.910
but it's about, the tour's about perception. But a lot
791
00:29:30.950 --> 00:29:32.730
of the tour, you know, you've both got kids. I
792
00:29:32.750 --> 00:29:35.309
think it's almost, you can't help but a lot of
793
00:29:35.329 --> 00:29:39.109
the material linking back to having children. They just, every
794
00:29:39.150 --> 00:29:41.940
day there's something that, you get with them that becomes
795
00:29:41.980 --> 00:29:44.849
your material and they do funnier stuff than and she's
796
00:29:44.890 --> 00:29:45.829
a great I mean.
797
00:29:46.410 --> 00:29:48.829
How old is she now? Four. Four. So is she
798
00:29:48.890 --> 00:29:51.730
the year before school? Yeah, she's just, yeah, yeah. Yeah,
799
00:29:51.750 --> 00:29:54.269
she's in a little nursery. How are you feeling about school?
800
00:29:55.109 --> 00:29:57.960
I mean, she's very much like I was in a
801
00:29:58.099 --> 00:29:59.680
lot of ways.
802
00:29:59.700 --> 00:30:02.400
Seven foot? Yeah, she's six foot three at the moment.
803
00:30:03.339 --> 00:30:05.359
But, you know, once you get to 18, we'll see.
804
00:30:05.519 --> 00:30:09.470
She's, no, she's, her attention span, I mean, she's four,
805
00:30:09.509 --> 00:30:12.930
but there's an element of like, she's a little comedian
806
00:30:12.970 --> 00:30:15.450
she's very funny she takes a piss and she has
807
00:30:15.490 --> 00:30:16.339
a joke she's.
808
00:30:16.240 --> 00:30:17.559
Just learnt the word fanny.
809
00:30:18.759 --> 00:30:21.220
American or British I mean she watches a lot of
810
00:30:21.259 --> 00:30:24.380
Kardashians we've got alright I'm like you know football dads
811
00:30:25.019 --> 00:30:28.049
I'm looking at the Kardashians like sort of Project Kim
812
00:30:28.069 --> 00:30:29.230
Project Kim.
813
00:30:29.069 --> 00:30:30.809
And get her out doing her make up.
814
00:30:30.750 --> 00:30:34.109
Tutorials that's the future right she's got a phone now The.
815
00:30:34.009 --> 00:30:36.730
Thing is, everyone's an influencer now, so who are we influencing?
816
00:30:36.849 --> 00:30:37.470
The other influencers?
817
00:30:37.490 --> 00:30:39.549
Yeah, but the thing is, we all influence each other
818
00:30:39.930 --> 00:30:41.579
in such small ways. Are we stoned?
819
00:30:41.650 --> 00:30:43.599
Oh, God, that was really fucking deep.
820
00:30:44.640 --> 00:30:46.619
You influenced me some day. I had to get influenced.
821
00:30:46.660 --> 00:30:48.519
What's your goal? You're now in the golf world.
822
00:30:48.539 --> 00:30:50.579
Oh, I'm a golf influencer now, yeah. I've done two videos.
823
00:30:50.619 --> 00:30:50.700
Yeah.
824
00:30:52.700 --> 00:30:54.380
That's the thing I find about being a dad now.
825
00:30:54.700 --> 00:30:56.960
It's the very idea of going out for four hours.
826
00:30:57.480 --> 00:31:00.160
Yeah, but you're, I couldn't, I wanted to do it
827
00:31:00.200 --> 00:31:02.869
when my kids were your age, but now they're eight
828
00:31:03.029 --> 00:31:05.750
and 10 and the tour's coming down, I've got time
829
00:31:05.769 --> 00:31:06.490
because they're both in school.
830
00:31:06.509 --> 00:31:08.049
So you're going to do it weekdays when your kids
831
00:31:08.089 --> 00:31:08.289
are school?
832
00:31:08.309 --> 00:31:09.769
My plan is to be able to go like, drop
833
00:31:09.789 --> 00:31:11.470
the kids at school on a Monday and then go
834
00:31:11.509 --> 00:31:13.390
to the golf course straight after school drop and then
835
00:31:13.410 --> 00:31:14.529
pick them up and that'd be my day off.
836
00:31:14.549 --> 00:31:16.250
You're basically a retired footballer now.
837
00:31:16.529 --> 00:31:16.769
Yeah.
838
00:31:17.170 --> 00:31:19.990
What do you want to be when you're older? Not
839
00:31:20.079 --> 00:31:23.019
even a footballer. A retired footballer. That's the best job.
840
00:31:23.039 --> 00:31:24.000
Yeah, that is the best.
841
00:31:24.019 --> 00:31:25.640
So that's what I'm trying to do. How many days
842
00:31:25.660 --> 00:31:27.240
a week are you going to do? You know Jamie
843
00:31:27.279 --> 00:31:29.559
Redden that well. He does loads to sleep. Yeah, I
844
00:31:29.579 --> 00:31:31.099
don't think as much since he's done his knees. But
845
00:31:31.119 --> 00:31:32.559
what I love about you as well, because you could
846
00:31:32.579 --> 00:31:34.059
be that retired footballer, but it's not like.
847
00:31:35.009 --> 00:31:37.269
like Stuart Ripley. He won the Premier League, but people
848
00:31:37.289 --> 00:31:38.569
were sort of like, do you know what I mean?
849
00:31:38.589 --> 00:31:38.910
You're not.
850
00:31:38.990 --> 00:31:41.880
Yeah, I wouldn't go down as a sort of Wayne
851
00:31:41.920 --> 00:31:44.660
Rooney type. I've got time now, they're both in school,
852
00:31:44.680 --> 00:31:46.920
but when yours goes to school full time, you'll have
853
00:31:47.329 --> 00:31:47.849
so much time back.
854
00:31:47.869 --> 00:31:50.369
So you'll be pulling up at the school, golf.
855
00:31:50.150 --> 00:31:53.410
Bag in the back of your car, Yeah, chuck.
856
00:31:53.130 --> 00:31:55.710
Them out, straight to the cause. High five a few
857
00:31:55.730 --> 00:31:56.170
of the guys.
858
00:31:57.029 --> 00:32:00.509
Probably receive some quite questionable political and racial views.
859
00:32:00.710 --> 00:32:02.049
Try and block that.
860
00:32:02.130 --> 00:32:04.630
Out and just head down the fairway.
861
00:32:05.390 --> 00:32:07.670
No, no, honestly, I'm not filming for Sky. I won't
862
00:32:07.690 --> 00:32:08.289
be bringing him down.
863
00:32:08.309 --> 00:32:09.789
It's okay, it's just me.
864
00:32:12.369 --> 00:32:14.210
It is bizarre when you go into those places.
865
00:32:14.369 --> 00:32:17.269
Yeah, it is an old time, a weird world of golf.
866
00:32:17.309 --> 00:32:21.339
Do you go to the 19th and have a beer
867
00:32:21.380 --> 00:32:22.140
at the 19th?
868
00:32:22.259 --> 00:32:26.059
Do they call that the club? I'm struggling with the
869
00:32:26.119 --> 00:32:26.920
golf banter.
870
00:32:27.220 --> 00:32:32.039
Yeah, the banter's not great. On paper, I'd say, if
871
00:32:32.079 --> 00:32:34.140
you asked me to describe the people that would most
872
00:32:34.500 --> 00:32:39.680
annoy you, it would be rich men on a golf course. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
873
00:32:40.140 --> 00:32:40.579
I found that.
874
00:32:40.599 --> 00:32:42.099
Which, you know, I am now.
875
00:32:42.589 --> 00:32:43.380
Do you know the word?
876
00:32:45.890 --> 00:32:48.130
So, let's be honest about this. Yeah, yeah. I fall
877
00:32:48.170 --> 00:32:48.910
in that category.
878
00:32:48.930 --> 00:32:50.609
Do you know what's bizarre though is when they start
879
00:32:50.630 --> 00:32:53.589
having banter about, like, because we all have this thing where,
880
00:32:53.670 --> 00:32:55.450
you know, for the very nature of what we do
881
00:32:55.490 --> 00:32:58.009
for a living, people jump through, like, the process of
882
00:32:58.450 --> 00:33:00.069
what they think they know you. So, if you met
883
00:33:00.690 --> 00:33:02.970
just any other guy down there, you'd slowly get to
884
00:33:02.990 --> 00:33:05.650
know him. You'd start having banter. What I noticed with
885
00:33:05.690 --> 00:33:08.559
playing golf is that people have banter straight away. So
886
00:33:08.670 --> 00:33:11.200
as soon as you hit the ball badly, there's no like,
887
00:33:11.240 --> 00:33:13.619
you know, oh yeah, I'll wait for him to, they'll
888
00:33:13.700 --> 00:33:14.799
literally fire into you.
889
00:33:14.839 --> 00:33:16.980
Straight in. And they walk up and watch your putt.
890
00:33:17.019 --> 00:33:17.940
Yeah.
891
00:33:17.960 --> 00:33:20.920
Can I tell you.
892
00:33:20.680 --> 00:33:22.829
About the two interactions I had, right?
893
00:33:23.049 --> 00:33:24.390
So it's guys on another hole.
894
00:33:24.589 --> 00:33:24.829
Okay.
895
00:33:25.210 --> 00:33:26.869
So Tom, what's it like being a dad?
896
00:33:31.140 --> 00:33:31.880
What I love is I.
897
00:33:31.799 --> 00:33:39.480
Listen to this podcast and it's so thinly veiled. I
898
00:33:39.519 --> 00:33:41.160
listen to it as a place to get advice. And
899
00:33:41.180 --> 00:33:43.380
I've actually text both of you, I think. I've certainly
900
00:33:43.400 --> 00:33:46.329
texted Beckett for advice as being a father. But when
901
00:33:46.369 --> 00:33:48.210
I listen to you... Interestingly, you've listened to me and
902
00:33:48.509 --> 00:33:50.450
never thought.
903
00:33:50.470 --> 00:33:52.049
Normally, they ask me about holidays.
904
00:33:52.690 --> 00:33:55.130
I'm asking about holidays, yeah.
905
00:33:56.630 --> 00:33:59.210
But now it was very like, oh, these two are in,
906
00:33:59.849 --> 00:34:02.569
I think, a cinema situation that I'm in now, so
907
00:34:02.589 --> 00:34:04.019
I probably should go back and listen to it. But
908
00:34:04.059 --> 00:34:07.000
I listened to the more regular ones, and I'm like, okay,
909
00:34:07.079 --> 00:34:08.679
this is the bit I'm looking forward to. I could
910
00:34:08.719 --> 00:34:10.619
skip through the first two Lord of the Rings movies
911
00:34:10.920 --> 00:34:12.219
and just get to the end where they all sail
912
00:34:12.239 --> 00:34:12.980
away on a boat.
913
00:34:13.000 --> 00:34:13.179
Yes.
914
00:34:14.179 --> 00:34:16.300
Well tell us your two golfing well one I was
915
00:34:16.340 --> 00:34:18.969
putting and a guy literally walked away from his hole
916
00:34:19.010 --> 00:34:20.650
to come to my hole to watch me putt and is.
917
00:34:20.610 --> 00:34:23.670
That without saying like because you're Rob.
918
00:34:23.570 --> 00:34:26.190
Beckham yeah that's not a golfing that's because he's recognising.
919
00:34:26.010 --> 00:34:27.789
It's actually really frowned upon.
920
00:34:28.010 --> 00:34:30.550
Yeah to do that you should just let people get
921
00:34:30.570 --> 00:34:32.320
on with it it's like standing in someone's view and
922
00:34:32.340 --> 00:34:35.139
they're potting in snooker.
923
00:34:35.159 --> 00:34:36.280
Yeah, it's exactly that.
924
00:34:36.340 --> 00:34:37.780
So anyway, he's quite a nice guy. He didn't come
925
00:34:37.820 --> 00:34:38.639
up to me and he was like, how are you
926
00:34:38.679 --> 00:34:40.110
getting on? I went, uh, three under. I was on
927
00:34:40.130 --> 00:34:42.670
a whole two. And he was like, oh, you're doing
928
00:34:42.690 --> 00:34:43.030
well in winter.
929
00:34:43.050 --> 00:34:43.769
I was like, no, I'm joking.
930
00:34:43.809 --> 00:34:48.480
I went, I'm not doing well actually. I was like, five, seven, six, nine, 10.
931
00:34:48.460 --> 00:34:51.139
He was like, oh, sounds like a phone number. And
932
00:34:51.159 --> 00:34:52.880
I went, well, he doesn't because they start with zeros.
933
00:34:53.239 --> 00:34:54.099
Yeah, yeah.
934
00:34:54.139 --> 00:34:55.280
Also, you wouldn't say 10.
935
00:34:55.260 --> 00:34:57.539
You wouldn't say 10. You'd say one zero.
936
00:34:57.619 --> 00:34:58.960
And then this is quite, I've never had this before.
937
00:34:58.980 --> 00:34:59.619
This guy come up to me.
938
00:34:59.760 --> 00:35:02.679
I'd hit a ball so off the hole, like onto
939
00:35:02.699 --> 00:35:04.219
the other hole.
940
00:35:04.840 --> 00:35:06.880
And so I'm able to go into their fairway. And
941
00:35:06.900 --> 00:35:08.639
I'm like, oh, sorry. And he's like, no worries. He
942
00:35:08.659 --> 00:35:10.239
comes over to me and says hello. He's a nice guy.
943
00:35:10.260 --> 00:35:11.320
He's like, oh, hi there, Rob.
944
00:35:11.380 --> 00:35:14.719
I'm introducing you. You should just let someone have their
945
00:35:14.739 --> 00:35:17.130
shot and be quiet. This man comes up to me.
946
00:35:17.280 --> 00:35:19.809
I've already got a man behind me waiting to tee off.
947
00:35:19.929 --> 00:35:20.670
I'm with someone.
948
00:35:20.690 --> 00:35:22.610
So I'm like, and I'm, I've hit it about three
949
00:35:22.650 --> 00:35:24.730
times shitly off the tee. So it's gone right over this.
950
00:35:24.750 --> 00:35:25.429
I'm trying to do it quickly.
951
00:35:25.449 --> 00:35:26.969
It's like, Oh, hello. Nice to meet you. I'm so-and-so.
952
00:35:27.309 --> 00:35:28.909
And I was like, all right. He went, I'm fascinated
953
00:35:28.989 --> 00:35:29.650
by my work.
954
00:35:29.730 --> 00:35:30.010
I do.
955
00:35:30.030 --> 00:35:31.329
I went, Oh, right. Good for you.
956
00:35:31.550 --> 00:35:33.050
He's fascinated by his work. By his work.
957
00:35:33.090 --> 00:35:33.429
Not mine.
958
00:35:33.489 --> 00:35:36.010
His work. Okay. That's the weirdest thing anyone's ever said.
959
00:35:36.030 --> 00:35:38.869
Then he goes, I specialize in high performance in sport
960
00:35:38.909 --> 00:35:39.750
and life.
961
00:35:39.809 --> 00:35:40.730
Oh, fuck.
962
00:35:40.969 --> 00:35:42.590
And it's very hard to say you don't need that
963
00:35:42.630 --> 00:35:44.130
when you're already on someone else's hole.
964
00:35:44.369 --> 00:35:44.530
Yeah.
965
00:35:44.550 --> 00:35:44.650
Yeah.
966
00:35:47.369 --> 00:35:49.789
I'm looking for mid-level performance, actually.
967
00:35:49.849 --> 00:35:53.429
Also, he's not a hoovering up shit golfer. He's got
968
00:35:53.449 --> 00:35:55.639
to be looking at top, top people. He's not going anywhere.
969
00:35:55.659 --> 00:35:56.840
Well, I don't know, but anyway, so he was like,
970
00:35:57.380 --> 00:36:00.139
I specialise in helping people achieve high performance in this
971
00:36:00.199 --> 00:36:00.539
and all that.
972
00:36:00.800 --> 00:36:02.550
And then he said, would you be interested in that?
973
00:36:03.309 --> 00:36:06.889
And by this point, it's raining, I'm stressed. And I went, no.
974
00:36:07.530 --> 00:36:09.300
I can tell you now, there's a lot of that.
975
00:36:09.320 --> 00:36:11.679
And I would say that people, the thing about it is.
976
00:36:11.679 --> 00:36:13.360
But it's good that you're getting to relax in your
977
00:36:13.380 --> 00:36:15.940
working day, Rob. A videographer stood next to you.
978
00:36:15.960 --> 00:36:17.820
Here he goes, the busiest man in show business, fucking
979
00:36:17.840 --> 00:36:19.059
turning on me because he's tired.
980
00:36:19.139 --> 00:36:20.800
I think there's a sort of... Can I tell Tom
981
00:36:20.820 --> 00:36:21.320
about you last week?
982
00:36:21.340 --> 00:36:22.159
You're going to love this.
983
00:36:22.179 --> 00:36:26.519
Go on. I saw Romesh on Saturday.
984
00:36:26.900 --> 00:36:27.760
When you was doing Radio 2?
985
00:36:27.739 --> 00:36:30.840
When we were both working, yeah. And we were like,
986
00:36:31.110 --> 00:36:32.289
the subject of you came up.
987
00:36:32.429 --> 00:36:32.610
Yeah.
988
00:36:33.510 --> 00:36:35.269
Oh, God, he's doing a golf thing now. He just
989
00:36:35.309 --> 00:36:37.670
keeps going, doesn't he? He does so much. These two
990
00:36:37.710 --> 00:36:38.849
said at Radio 2.
991
00:36:38.849 --> 00:36:41.730
Sucking from the culprit tea. I'm a little influencer, a
992
00:36:41.730 --> 00:36:45.690
little creator out there, a fucking early shift. So you're parenting?
993
00:36:45.889 --> 00:36:49.179
Yeah, I am. I'm actually parenting now. Since I last
994
00:36:49.219 --> 00:36:52.539
came on here, yeah. Yeah. How old was your baby?
995
00:36:52.579 --> 00:36:53.780
What was the little baby?
996
00:36:54.039 --> 00:36:54.500
Really young.
997
00:36:54.579 --> 00:36:54.840
Yeah.
998
00:36:54.940 --> 00:36:55.559
Yeah, really young.
999
00:36:56.019 --> 00:36:57.579
I remember at the end of it sort of saying,
1000
00:36:57.619 --> 00:37:00.119
I'll never be in a situation where I sort of
1001
00:37:00.139 --> 00:37:02.429
look at her and sort of push laughs. or sort
1002
00:37:02.469 --> 00:37:06.119
of curse her not sleeping. And yeah, that lasted all
1003
00:37:06.179 --> 00:37:07.199
of like about six months.
1004
00:37:07.280 --> 00:37:07.840
Yeah.
1005
00:37:08.059 --> 00:37:10.739
Because it's crazy that we've had in and out of bed.
1006
00:37:10.800 --> 00:37:12.340
We've been like, I mean, in our bed.
1007
00:37:13.570 --> 00:37:16.389
Me and Josh both have slight sleeping issues with the
1008
00:37:16.429 --> 00:37:17.030
kids at points.
1009
00:37:17.090 --> 00:37:17.389
It's hard.
1010
00:37:17.449 --> 00:37:19.070
Are you all in the same bed at the moment then?
1011
00:37:19.110 --> 00:37:20.530
No, no, no. She's back in her room now.
1012
00:37:20.949 --> 00:37:21.369
All night?
1013
00:37:21.590 --> 00:37:21.750
Yeah.
1014
00:37:21.769 --> 00:37:23.130
Well, yeah.
1015
00:37:23.150 --> 00:37:25.050
We had a thing where I was filming at the
1016
00:37:25.070 --> 00:37:27.340
end of last year. I'm still nicking a bit of
1017
00:37:27.360 --> 00:37:28.000
work where I can.
1018
00:37:28.599 --> 00:37:28.860
Yeah.
1019
00:37:29.300 --> 00:37:31.900
I'm not in your league now, boys, but I'm not.
1020
00:37:31.920 --> 00:37:33.329
So she's in her own room.
1021
00:37:33.349 --> 00:37:34.110
So she's in her own room.
1022
00:37:34.130 --> 00:37:36.730
But yeah, at the end of last year, I was
1023
00:37:37.170 --> 00:37:38.989
away working and she sort of crept back in.
1024
00:37:39.309 --> 00:37:39.590
Yeah.
1025
00:37:39.630 --> 00:37:43.119
I think that's the problem for comedians is if there's
1026
00:37:43.159 --> 00:37:43.900
a gap in the bed.
1027
00:37:43.940 --> 00:37:44.219
Yeah, yeah.
1028
00:37:44.380 --> 00:37:45.900
How can you say no to your kid that comes
1029
00:37:45.940 --> 00:37:47.300
in at night and then all of a sudden you're
1030
00:37:47.320 --> 00:37:48.719
back off tour and there's three of you in there.
1031
00:37:48.739 --> 00:37:50.610
So then she spent quite a lot of time, then
1032
00:37:50.659 --> 00:37:52.510
over Christmas we were sort of like, she was on
1033
00:37:52.530 --> 00:37:53.309
a mattress on the floor.
1034
00:37:53.329 --> 00:37:56.730
Because you're big as well. So what size bed have
1035
00:37:56.750 --> 00:37:57.050
you got?
1036
00:37:58.300 --> 00:38:00.849
You can't say it like that. He's called Big Tom. Yeah,
1037
00:38:00.909 --> 00:38:02.030
I know he's... Well, yeah, true.
1038
00:38:02.050 --> 00:38:04.309
You don't know it yourself. You said it in such a...
1039
00:38:04.269 --> 00:38:05.030
Because you're big.
1040
00:38:05.090 --> 00:38:07.469
You're big as well. You're big. Because you're like, what's
1041
00:38:07.510 --> 00:38:08.710
going on there? It's like.
1042
00:38:09.030 --> 00:38:10.570
And you must need a special bed.
1043
00:38:10.590 --> 00:38:13.710
Oh, man, I went for a medical recently and the
1044
00:38:13.730 --> 00:38:16.809
guy analysed me like I was a freak.
1045
00:38:17.090 --> 00:38:18.300
It was so awful.
1046
00:38:18.409 --> 00:38:21.079
I was like literally going, and you haven't had any
1047
00:38:21.119 --> 00:38:21.900
problems with your heart?
1048
00:38:21.960 --> 00:38:24.199
And I went, no, I've really. And he went.
1049
00:38:25.110 --> 00:38:27.250
Okay, and then he gets out the dick to phone
1050
00:38:27.329 --> 00:38:30.409
to leave sort of like... Gets out the dick to phone. Yeah,
1051
00:38:30.469 --> 00:38:32.119
he gets out the dick and goes, this isn't in
1052
00:38:32.159 --> 00:38:35.730
keeping with the rest of your stature. That's odd, isn't it?
1053
00:38:35.760 --> 00:38:36.280
That's odd.
1054
00:38:37.559 --> 00:38:39.260
This is a penis of a five foot two, man.
1055
00:38:40.199 --> 00:38:43.179
It's like Josh Whittakin's penis. He was in last week.
1056
00:38:44.679 --> 00:38:45.480
Hello, little fella.
1057
00:38:47.480 --> 00:38:49.940
What a nice surprise. But he starts doing a thing
1058
00:38:49.960 --> 00:38:54.719
where he goes... worth having some heart checks due to
1059
00:38:54.739 --> 00:39:00.719
the fact he has abnormal hands abnormal his head maybe
1060
00:39:00.780 --> 00:39:05.199
slight abnormalities with his forehead and he starts and you
1061
00:39:05.239 --> 00:39:07.579
know you're looking and I'm thinking if I had small
1062
00:39:07.619 --> 00:39:09.980
hands I'd look fucking ridiculous yeah.
1063
00:39:09.800 --> 00:39:12.760
But I didn't say you're out of proportion the.
1064
00:39:12.659 --> 00:39:14.800
Way he made me feel in this situation.
1065
00:39:14.320 --> 00:39:16.500
You've got quite a narrow little waist little sexy little.
1066
00:39:16.539 --> 00:39:19.739
Samba waist it's got narrow and it was how much
1067
00:39:19.800 --> 00:39:23.449
have you lost So going into COVID, I was about,
1068
00:39:23.469 --> 00:39:29.300
I think about 146, 148 kilograms And I'm down about
1069
00:39:29.300 --> 00:39:29.719
122 now.
1070
00:39:29.739 --> 00:39:30.099
Wow.
1071
00:39:30.320 --> 00:39:33.739
So you've lost 26 kilos. 26 kilos.
1072
00:39:34.139 --> 00:39:34.219
Yeah.
1073
00:39:34.239 --> 00:39:36.989
What's that in stone? Four or five stone? So yeah,
1074
00:39:37.010 --> 00:39:37.829
about four or five stone.
1075
00:39:37.849 --> 00:39:38.309
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1076
00:39:38.489 --> 00:39:40.170
So how did you, how have you managed to do
1077
00:39:40.230 --> 00:39:42.409
that with like a baby, having a baby?
1078
00:39:42.449 --> 00:39:48.170
I stopped drinking was a big thing. Eating well. And also,
1079
00:39:48.289 --> 00:39:50.480
there's a big part of me which was having a
1080
00:39:50.719 --> 00:39:53.789
little baby at night, you know, sort of what was
1081
00:39:53.809 --> 00:39:56.030
she so I was 42 and I wanted to be
1082
00:39:56.090 --> 00:39:58.800
as sort of like around so you was 42 inches
1083
00:39:58.860 --> 00:40:01.599
ball yeah but I also wanted to be able to
1084
00:40:01.619 --> 00:40:04.860
do run about and so and I was in a
1085
00:40:05.039 --> 00:40:07.800
position where I just thought I'm not able to do
1086
00:40:07.840 --> 00:40:11.969
that so and so I prioritised just even now I
1087
00:40:12.010 --> 00:40:14.050
sort of like get in as many steps as you
1088
00:40:14.070 --> 00:40:16.510
can I know that you're you have a bugbear, you
1089
00:40:16.530 --> 00:40:17.510
get an over-the-step thing.
1090
00:40:17.530 --> 00:40:20.420
Do I not? No, I thought you did. He's made up, though.
1091
00:40:20.840 --> 00:40:21.480
Here he goes.
1092
00:40:21.500 --> 00:40:23.199
Don't get him on his eye or spare steps.
1093
00:40:23.219 --> 00:40:27.019
If he's not fucking badgered my ears about steps.
1094
00:40:27.079 --> 00:40:28.960
I'm actually in favour of steps. I think it's a
1095
00:40:28.980 --> 00:40:34.389
good thing. I love that cover of Tragedy. You didn't
1096
00:40:34.409 --> 00:40:35.190
believe that, did you?
1097
00:40:35.250 --> 00:40:35.429
No.
1098
00:40:35.690 --> 00:40:37.329
Your heart went in there.
1099
00:40:37.550 --> 00:40:39.170
You tried to wiggle your glasses to give it more.
1100
00:40:39.190 --> 00:40:41.329
Do you know what it was? Everything's an audition for
1101
00:40:41.369 --> 00:40:42.059
Strictly with this guy.
1102
00:40:45.869 --> 00:40:46.170
Anyway.
1103
00:40:47.650 --> 00:40:48.110
It's move.
1104
00:40:48.309 --> 00:40:51.289
It's movies week, so let's get on with it, Tom.
1105
00:40:51.389 --> 00:40:52.889
And here he is as Frankenstein.
1106
00:40:53.469 --> 00:40:59.760
Again. You can't do this. It's the only outfit we've
1107
00:40:59.800 --> 00:41:01.039
got for him. Hello.
1108
00:41:01.079 --> 00:41:09.960
How old are your kids?
1109
00:41:10.360 --> 00:41:11.980
They are seven and four.
1110
00:41:12.349 --> 00:41:14.280
First of all, Chantal Nash, welcome to the podcast. We
1111
00:41:14.300 --> 00:41:14.969
should do it proper.
1112
00:41:14.989 --> 00:41:15.570
Oh, yeah.
1113
00:41:15.739 --> 00:41:17.559
It's because you know each other so well.
1114
00:41:17.639 --> 00:41:18.599
Well, not so well.
1115
00:41:18.619 --> 00:41:19.619
It's our first time.
1116
00:41:19.639 --> 00:41:20.739
It's your first time.
1117
00:41:21.099 --> 00:41:24.320
Yes. Hello. Thank you very much. I'm Chantal Nash.
1118
00:41:24.900 --> 00:41:25.179
Hello.
1119
00:41:25.380 --> 00:41:26.900
And you know Josh from doing his tour support.
1120
00:41:27.139 --> 00:41:29.019
I do know Josh from doing tour support a couple
1121
00:41:29.039 --> 00:41:31.039
of dates in the home counties region.
1122
00:41:31.440 --> 00:41:32.880
We've done quite a few. I reckon we've done 15.
1123
00:41:32.880 --> 00:41:34.159
Do you reckon?
1124
00:41:34.340 --> 00:41:34.900
Is it that many?
1125
00:41:34.920 --> 00:41:35.739
Feels like it.
1126
00:41:36.099 --> 00:41:37.199
Okay.
1127
00:41:37.420 --> 00:41:39.860
Thanks. Thanks, Josh. He's really good at making our guests
1128
00:41:39.880 --> 00:41:40.940
feel at ease.
1129
00:41:40.980 --> 00:41:42.159
So comfortable. So welcome.
1130
00:41:42.179 --> 00:41:44.239
But no, we have. We did that really hot one
1131
00:41:44.280 --> 00:41:44.860
in Bedford.
1132
00:41:45.199 --> 00:41:46.619
Yeah, there was that hot one in Bedford.
1133
00:41:46.639 --> 00:41:48.659
It was boiling.
1134
00:41:50.690 --> 00:41:51.690
Absolutely boiling.
1135
00:41:51.710 --> 00:41:53.230
Yeah, they were hot. If I'm honest.
1136
00:41:53.710 --> 00:41:57.809
And they put Karen from Strictly in the front row. Oh, yeah.
1137
00:41:57.849 --> 00:41:59.510
That was a good one. Yeah, that was a good
1138
00:41:59.530 --> 00:42:01.179
one because I met Karen from Strictly. So thank you
1139
00:42:01.199 --> 00:42:02.440
very much for being my gateway. Yeah, you were excited
1140
00:42:02.460 --> 00:42:05.800
about that. My gateway drug to Karen, which was very nice.
1141
00:42:05.840 --> 00:42:09.699
My gateway drug to Karen is gin and 60 years
1142
00:42:09.739 --> 00:42:10.159
of age.
1143
00:42:13.010 --> 00:42:16.610
But yes, I'm Chantal. I've got two kids. They're six, no, seven.
1144
00:42:16.929 --> 00:42:19.070
Seven and four. And so my daughter called Etta is
1145
00:42:19.090 --> 00:42:21.570
seven and my son Otis is four. And Etta turned
1146
00:42:21.590 --> 00:42:23.550
seven in January. So fresh seven.
1147
00:42:23.849 --> 00:42:24.409
Oh, wow.
1148
00:42:24.750 --> 00:42:26.360
Yeah, and my son's birthday's in October.
1149
00:42:26.409 --> 00:42:28.059
And he's starting school in September.
1150
00:42:28.139 --> 00:42:30.360
Starting school in September. Desperate to get to school already.
1151
00:42:30.380 --> 00:42:31.880
He's been at nursery for like two years because it's
1152
00:42:31.900 --> 00:42:34.920
like a school nursery. And there are days where he will, like...
1153
00:42:35.099 --> 00:42:37.400
To get to the school, you kind of turn right
1154
00:42:37.420 --> 00:42:39.800
for nursery, turn left for reception. And there are days
1155
00:42:39.860 --> 00:42:41.760
where he'll, like, break free from my grip and run
1156
00:42:41.780 --> 00:42:43.389
to the reception door and just try to break into
1157
00:42:43.409 --> 00:42:43.989
the classroom.
1158
00:42:44.239 --> 00:42:44.510
It's like.
1159
00:42:44.789 --> 00:42:46.590
Because all of his friends from the year before have
1160
00:42:46.730 --> 00:42:48.349
already got up to reception.
1161
00:42:48.389 --> 00:42:48.519
Oh, God.
1162
00:42:48.530 --> 00:42:50.170
So he's, like, trying to scream in his friend's name.
1163
00:42:50.190 --> 00:42:51.010
Like, let me in!
1164
00:42:51.409 --> 00:42:54.250
So it's going to be the least stressful first day
1165
00:42:54.269 --> 00:42:54.630
of school for him.
1166
00:42:54.650 --> 00:42:56.710
The least stressful transition. The most stressful thing will be
1167
00:42:56.769 --> 00:42:57.809
if he doesn't get into the school.
1168
00:42:58.210 --> 00:42:58.510
Oh, God.
1169
00:42:58.630 --> 00:43:00.260
Oh, no.
1170
00:43:00.260 --> 00:43:00.869
Oh, my God.
1171
00:43:00.900 --> 00:43:04.139
You said something beforehand, which... we've never covered before, which
1172
00:43:04.219 --> 00:43:05.920
is your children do child modelling.
1173
00:43:06.260 --> 00:43:07.420
Yes, they do.
1174
00:43:07.440 --> 00:43:08.460
So how did that happen?
1175
00:43:08.739 --> 00:43:10.360
So that happened with my daughter.
1176
00:43:10.380 --> 00:43:12.590
Is it like, because Kate Moss was like walking on
1177
00:43:12.619 --> 00:43:15.150
the tube, wasn't she? And someone said, you've got to
1178
00:43:15.170 --> 00:43:15.730
become a model.
1179
00:43:15.949 --> 00:43:18.309
Yeah. It's hard to be a talent spot for children models,
1180
00:43:18.369 --> 00:43:19.880
isn't it?
1181
00:43:19.889 --> 00:43:20.150
Creepy.
1182
00:43:20.190 --> 00:43:20.769
Very creepy.
1183
00:43:20.849 --> 00:43:24.070
Just trying to get that body odour, the long hair,
1184
00:43:24.090 --> 00:43:24.630
the look.
1185
00:43:25.190 --> 00:43:27.789
Somebody once actually at a train station, I was on
1186
00:43:27.809 --> 00:43:30.389
my phone and they came over and was like, oh,
1187
00:43:31.019 --> 00:43:33.780
excuse me, do you know anyone who would do modelling
1188
00:43:33.800 --> 00:43:35.760
or would you do modelling? And I looked up and
1189
00:43:35.780 --> 00:43:38.239
it was like, or if you've got any friends who
1190
00:43:38.280 --> 00:43:41.059
would like to. He took one look at me and
1191
00:43:41.079 --> 00:43:45.949
was like, no, actually, if you've got mates. I was like, okay, thanks.
1192
00:43:46.409 --> 00:43:49.170
So yes, my kids do child modelling. So basically my
1193
00:43:49.210 --> 00:43:52.099
daughter was born. And obviously, like anyone else, you think
1194
00:43:52.119 --> 00:43:53.599
your child is the most beautiful thing in the world.
1195
00:43:54.039 --> 00:43:57.900
Because you're, as a woman particularly, you're genetically, hormonally hardwired
1196
00:43:57.920 --> 00:44:00.679
to think that. Because really, if there's anything else in
1197
00:44:00.719 --> 00:44:03.039
the world that caused you the amount of pain... that
1198
00:44:03.059 --> 00:44:04.239
a child does you'd kill it on.
1199
00:44:04.179 --> 00:44:05.940
Sight yeah exactly you.
1200
00:44:05.739 --> 00:44:07.639
Would but no it's like oh it's so beautiful so
1201
00:44:07.679 --> 00:44:10.429
basically my partner richie was like she's really cute she's
1202
00:44:10.449 --> 00:44:12.110
a really cute baby she's a really cute baby so
1203
00:44:12.119 --> 00:44:14.429
yeah of course she's cute and he did kid modeling
1204
00:44:14.690 --> 00:44:16.809
when he was little um i've not seen.
1205
00:44:16.590 --> 00:44:18.409
Richie is he fit he's a dynasty.
1206
00:44:18.190 --> 00:44:22.190
Oh i think he's lovely but you know i have
1207
00:44:22.230 --> 00:44:24.269
a type um but he was basically when he was
1208
00:44:24.289 --> 00:44:26.539
a kid he was the face of the um I
1209
00:44:26.579 --> 00:44:28.280
don't know if I can say this actually, the Cream
1210
00:44:28.340 --> 00:44:29.559
Egg McFlurry when it launched.
1211
00:44:29.980 --> 00:44:30.619
You can say that.
1212
00:44:30.719 --> 00:44:31.900
Yeah, I don't know if you might have to pay
1213
00:44:31.980 --> 00:44:32.679
McDonald's £ 10 million.
1214
00:44:32.719 --> 00:44:33.159
No, no.
1215
00:44:33.280 --> 00:44:36.030
I'm going to Google the Cream Egg McFlurry launch.
1216
00:44:36.469 --> 00:44:38.130
Yeah, you might be able to find it. So I've
1217
00:44:38.170 --> 00:44:40.369
got like a four foot bus poster of him aged
1218
00:44:40.369 --> 00:44:41.369
13 in our house.
1219
00:44:41.389 --> 00:44:41.849
Oh, wow.
1220
00:44:41.909 --> 00:44:43.750
And it's going to be, it'll be going up. So
1221
00:44:43.849 --> 00:44:46.190
he was like, you know, I did modelling, they could
1222
00:44:46.210 --> 00:44:48.429
do modelling. And so we reached out to the child
1223
00:44:48.469 --> 00:44:50.130
model agent that he was with and they were still
1224
00:44:50.170 --> 00:44:51.210
in business at the time.
1225
00:44:51.230 --> 00:44:51.909
Yeah.
1226
00:44:52.489 --> 00:44:56.099
And they sent her a picture of her. And they're like, yeah,
1227
00:44:56.360 --> 00:44:57.019
we'll take her on.
1228
00:44:57.260 --> 00:45:00.079
No, just get off their nose, is it?
1229
00:45:00.079 --> 00:45:01.519
No, it's like, yeah, we'll have another one to add
1230
00:45:01.539 --> 00:45:05.199
to the castle. Because the main criteria for being a
1231
00:45:05.219 --> 00:45:06.619
baby model is just being a baby.
1232
00:45:06.739 --> 00:45:07.960
That's it.
1233
00:45:08.000 --> 00:45:09.300
So it was a baby model?
1234
00:45:09.360 --> 00:45:10.400
She was three months.
1235
00:45:10.519 --> 00:45:11.440
She was three months?
1236
00:45:11.519 --> 00:45:13.739
Three months, yeah. She did loads of stuff. She did
1237
00:45:13.760 --> 00:45:16.219
stuff for Boots. She was in a Center Parcs advert.
1238
00:45:16.239 --> 00:45:17.860
She got a TV credit before me.
1239
00:45:18.210 --> 00:45:22.250
That is the truth and does she still do it
1240
00:45:22.289 --> 00:45:23.630
or is it just as a baby.
1241
00:45:23.349 --> 00:45:27.150
So she does it her model agency they decide to
1242
00:45:27.170 --> 00:45:29.210
retire so we need to find her a new agent
1243
00:45:29.250 --> 00:45:31.690
if anyone would like to what's.
1244
00:45:31.030 --> 00:45:33.550
It like when your child what's the day like.
1245
00:45:37.039 --> 00:45:41.719
They don't, like when you've got, you know, self-tapes come in. Self-tapes?
1246
00:45:41.739 --> 00:45:42.760
Self-tapes?
1247
00:45:42.840 --> 00:45:43.699
Yeah, for kids.
1248
00:45:43.880 --> 00:45:44.820
For babies?
1249
00:45:44.960 --> 00:45:45.920
Yeah, so you have to like.
1250
00:45:45.940 --> 00:45:48.239
You've got to rename that, mum tape or dad tape.
1251
00:45:48.280 --> 00:45:49.260
You can't call it self-tape.
1252
00:45:49.380 --> 00:45:50.079
Yeah, it's self-tape.
1253
00:45:50.099 --> 00:45:51.059
She's three months old.
1254
00:45:51.280 --> 00:45:52.610
But you've got the baby on your lap and you've
1255
00:45:52.619 --> 00:45:55.369
got to say, this is, you know, so-and-so there. And actually,
1256
00:45:55.489 --> 00:45:58.570
in baby modelling, it's not obviously about your measurements and
1257
00:45:58.590 --> 00:46:01.860
your size. It's length. We're looking for babies that are
1258
00:46:01.900 --> 00:46:04.369
between 55 and 106 centimetres long.
1259
00:46:04.670 --> 00:46:05.690
No, not that big a.
1260
00:46:05.750 --> 00:46:08.929
Distance, surely.
1261
00:46:08.969 --> 00:46:10.889
That's too big a gap.
1262
00:46:10.889 --> 00:46:13.130
55 to 106. Enormous children.
1263
00:46:13.150 --> 00:46:17.659
You're probably going to get one. Yeah, exactly.
1264
00:46:17.780 --> 00:46:19.920
Sorry, that's not right at all. But yeah, so babies
1265
00:46:19.940 --> 00:46:21.679
that big is what we're looking for.
1266
00:46:22.239 --> 00:46:23.659
So you'd self-tape them?
1267
00:46:23.880 --> 00:46:25.559
Yeah, so you'd have them on your lap and you'd say,
1268
00:46:25.599 --> 00:46:28.860
this is Etta, she's X age, this length. and then
1269
00:46:29.139 --> 00:46:30.380
a close-up of the face or one of the hands,
1270
00:46:30.400 --> 00:46:32.360
whatever they want. And then sometimes it would be like
1271
00:46:32.400 --> 00:46:34.320
a picture or a video of them doing something. So
1272
00:46:34.619 --> 00:46:36.300
there was ones where it was like for a food advert,
1273
00:46:36.320 --> 00:46:38.510
so you've got to show videos of your kids eating
1274
00:46:38.650 --> 00:46:41.409
ice cream messily or something like that. And then there
1275
00:46:41.429 --> 00:46:43.969
were other ridiculous ones that were like, if your child
1276
00:46:44.030 --> 00:46:47.710
can say X thing at six months, you're like, no,
1277
00:46:47.769 --> 00:46:50.030
most kids can't do that. But the thing with Richie
1278
00:46:50.050 --> 00:46:52.949
was he was like, He's always had enormous faith in
1279
00:46:52.989 --> 00:46:56.570
our kids. And so he's a mummager. He's the Kris Jenner.
1280
00:46:56.789 --> 00:46:57.750
People think it's me.
1281
00:46:57.829 --> 00:46:58.369
It's not me.
1282
00:46:58.429 --> 00:47:00.340
Oh, he's the push. What does he do?
1283
00:47:00.539 --> 00:47:01.300
He's an electrician.
1284
00:47:02.239 --> 00:47:02.619
Right.
1285
00:47:02.659 --> 00:47:04.059
Living vicariously through the kids.
1286
00:47:04.099 --> 00:47:06.099
Did he want to carry a model in? No, he didn't.
1287
00:47:06.119 --> 00:47:08.409
He chose to go with football. He wasn't that sore
1288
00:47:08.449 --> 00:47:10.829
about it. But he just has immense faith in them.
1289
00:47:11.230 --> 00:47:13.469
And so not in a pushy, like insane way.
1290
00:47:14.090 --> 00:47:15.639
You know, three months in, get me on the camera.
1291
00:47:15.659 --> 00:47:16.340
Come on, get her on it.
1292
00:47:16.340 --> 00:47:16.909
Get self-taped.
1293
00:47:16.969 --> 00:47:18.380
Come on, get working, get crafted.
1294
00:47:20.019 --> 00:47:20.920
Get the tape measure out.
1295
00:47:21.780 --> 00:47:25.059
And it was, he had the tape measure. And she
1296
00:47:25.099 --> 00:47:27.980
did a self-tape for this series for Sky. And they
1297
00:47:28.000 --> 00:47:30.519
were looking for kids who could age, I think, three
1298
00:47:30.559 --> 00:47:33.920
and up, but could look two. And she wasn't even
1299
00:47:34.000 --> 00:47:36.800
two at the time. And they had lines that she
1300
00:47:36.860 --> 00:47:38.980
had to do for this character. And I've got the
1301
00:47:39.019 --> 00:47:41.820
selfie of her doing these lines at like under two.
1302
00:47:42.199 --> 00:47:44.039
And like Richie's feeding her the lines, like doing the
1303
00:47:44.079 --> 00:47:46.440
bits back. And she's like, okay, to this time, if
1304
00:47:46.460 --> 00:47:48.469
we could try a little bit more, like really going
1305
00:47:48.510 --> 00:47:50.289
into it. Ultimately, she got the job.
1306
00:47:51.150 --> 00:47:51.510
Yeah.
1307
00:47:51.630 --> 00:47:53.150
And she was happy to do it because she's like,
1308
00:47:53.389 --> 00:47:56.289
she's very girly. She's very confident and outgoing. There was
1309
00:47:56.309 --> 00:47:58.469
no point where she was like upset. And she did it.
1310
00:47:58.510 --> 00:48:02.050
So when Otis was born, two weeks after he was born,
1311
00:48:02.130 --> 00:48:06.239
she had to film this Sky TV show. So Richie
1312
00:48:06.260 --> 00:48:08.400
went off with her for two weeks to be on set.
1313
00:48:09.719 --> 00:48:12.099
What was the show? It was Midwich Cuckoos.
1314
00:48:12.519 --> 00:48:13.920
Oh, yeah, we advertised that on this.
1315
00:48:14.199 --> 00:48:14.480
Yeah.
1316
00:48:14.559 --> 00:48:14.960
Did you?
1317
00:48:15.159 --> 00:48:17.179
Yeah. Oh, no, yeah, I think you did. Full circle,
1318
00:48:17.199 --> 00:48:20.579
the old Midwich Cuckoos. Yeah, yeah. That's amazing.
1319
00:48:20.679 --> 00:48:23.380
And so is there loads of rules when you're on set?
1320
00:48:23.519 --> 00:48:25.199
Yeah, they can only work for a certain amount of time.
1321
00:48:25.280 --> 00:48:27.800
So it's like an hour or 45 minutes and then
1322
00:48:27.820 --> 00:48:29.550
the baby needs a break. So they have to be
1323
00:48:29.590 --> 00:48:30.050
really quick.
1324
00:48:30.130 --> 00:48:35.210
That's in my contract as well. So, yeah, that's the
1325
00:48:35.289 --> 00:48:36.489
real thing. What's the rules of that?
1326
00:48:36.510 --> 00:48:36.670
Because.
1327
00:48:37.489 --> 00:48:40.130
like they have to have a separate bank account and
1328
00:48:40.170 --> 00:48:43.010
does the money go into their so the parents so
1329
00:48:43.050 --> 00:48:45.099
what other rules are there like than tax.
1330
00:48:44.920 --> 00:48:47.719
You're never earning that much money no in a year
1331
00:48:47.840 --> 00:48:49.719
average on child modelling you're not making big bucks the
1332
00:48:49.739 --> 00:48:51.480
first thing that her agent at the time said is
1333
00:48:51.500 --> 00:48:53.300
like she's not going to get cast in these tenders
1334
00:48:53.469 --> 00:48:56.969
you can't quit your job I wasn't thinking about that
1335
00:48:57.010 --> 00:48:59.659
Sally but cool um So yeah, you have to have
1336
00:48:59.800 --> 00:49:02.380
a bank account registered in their name and any payments
1337
00:49:02.420 --> 00:49:04.420
have to be made out to them direct. So either
1338
00:49:04.519 --> 00:49:06.980
by cheque or direct debit to their own bank account.
1339
00:49:07.440 --> 00:49:09.699
So you can't have access to it. So yeah, my
1340
00:49:09.719 --> 00:49:12.030
kids have both had bank accounts since they were tiny.
1341
00:49:12.289 --> 00:49:13.650
With Otis, I remember.
1342
00:49:13.670 --> 00:49:14.610
Did he do modelling as well?
1343
00:49:14.829 --> 00:49:15.750
Yeah, he was on the books.
1344
00:49:15.789 --> 00:49:16.670
Richie loves it, doesn't he?
1345
00:49:16.750 --> 00:49:25.329
Yeah, I remember being... birth and... Richie.
1346
00:49:23.510 --> 00:49:24.969
Had the tape measure out.
1347
00:49:25.590 --> 00:49:29.599
The agent messaged and was like, congratulations, I've heard the
1348
00:49:29.639 --> 00:49:33.500
baby's born. We have just had a request for a
1349
00:49:33.579 --> 00:49:35.920
Saudi bank and they're looking for a range of babies.
1350
00:49:36.599 --> 00:49:38.639
They haven't cast the dad yet. Could you send a pic?
1351
00:49:39.019 --> 00:49:39.340
Oh, wow.
1352
00:49:39.389 --> 00:49:42.050
So literally in the hospital, I was like, there's the baby.
1353
00:49:42.550 --> 00:49:46.050
Like minutes old, already on the job.
1354
00:49:46.150 --> 00:49:46.309
Wow.
1355
00:49:46.329 --> 00:49:47.840
He didn't get the job. I think they cast a
1356
00:49:47.880 --> 00:49:48.690
different coloured dad.
1357
00:49:52.070 --> 00:49:54.389
So how so because i because i always i'm fascinated
1358
00:49:54.429 --> 00:49:56.750
by this because i had friends who i did acting
1359
00:49:56.769 --> 00:49:58.250
when they were like there's always a kid at school
1360
00:49:58.269 --> 00:50:00.269
that does like child modeling or acting or whatever but
1361
00:50:00.289 --> 00:50:02.409
like the weird thing that the way it's all changed
1362
00:50:02.469 --> 00:50:05.570
now is where like people's kids are on instagram or
1363
00:50:05.690 --> 00:50:08.179
tiktok yeah all the time and it's you know fair
1364
00:50:08.219 --> 00:50:09.760
enough they just film and do something funny and it's
1365
00:50:09.820 --> 00:50:12.119
put up just and that's it yeah but some are
1366
00:50:12.179 --> 00:50:14.119
like you know you see these like you don't.
1367
00:50:13.960 --> 00:50:15.280
Have your kids on instagram do you.
1368
00:50:15.639 --> 00:50:18.780
No, sometimes they'll pop up on like a carousel of pictures.
1369
00:50:18.940 --> 00:50:21.360
But yeah, literally on a carousel of things. But I'm
1370
00:50:21.400 --> 00:50:23.980
never putting them up intentionally. Like, oh, this is a.
1371
00:50:24.099 --> 00:50:26.559
Yeah, well, some of the reality stars put up like, oh, thanks.
1372
00:50:26.599 --> 00:50:29.340
And it says, oh, for example, something like Johnson's bubble
1373
00:50:29.360 --> 00:50:31.099
bath or something. And it'll be an ad and it'll
1374
00:50:31.119 --> 00:50:31.760
be hashtag ad.
1375
00:50:31.780 --> 00:50:32.719
Oh, thanks.
1376
00:50:32.780 --> 00:50:33.139
Brilliant.
1377
00:50:33.159 --> 00:50:34.590
The kids love it. And the kids are just like
1378
00:50:34.719 --> 00:50:36.840
in the bath, in the photo. And like that child's
1379
00:50:36.860 --> 00:50:39.190
doing an advert for a bubble bath. Like, and you
1380
00:50:39.210 --> 00:50:40.710
can see him in a bath.
1381
00:50:40.909 --> 00:50:43.210
So where does that. And the mum's getting paid or
1382
00:50:43.230 --> 00:50:44.389
the dad's getting paid for that.
1383
00:50:44.510 --> 00:50:44.670
Yeah.
1384
00:50:44.889 --> 00:50:47.809
Say they're getting five grand for that.
1385
00:50:47.889 --> 00:50:48.110
Yeah.
1386
00:50:48.690 --> 00:50:51.289
And it's going straight to them, but they're not even
1387
00:50:51.349 --> 00:50:51.530
in it.
1388
00:50:51.690 --> 00:50:54.329
Yeah. I don't know where the middle ground is. I
1389
00:50:54.349 --> 00:50:57.050
always think that, like, surely there are rules to this. Like,
1390
00:50:57.369 --> 00:50:59.210
how do you break that down? Because when we were
1391
00:50:59.230 --> 00:51:01.449
with the agency, we got stuff for family work. So
1392
00:51:01.889 --> 00:51:03.440
it would have to self-tape as a whole family.
1393
00:51:03.480 --> 00:51:03.699
Yeah.
1394
00:51:03.800 --> 00:51:06.900
And we did an advert for Witch. So Rich was
1395
00:51:06.940 --> 00:51:08.659
in one bit. I had to run into the sea.
1396
00:51:08.679 --> 00:51:10.760
It was mental. Is that a video?
1397
00:51:10.780 --> 00:51:10.860
Yeah.
1398
00:51:11.960 --> 00:51:14.460
It might be a video, actually. No, it's not a video.
1399
00:51:14.480 --> 00:51:15.239
Can we find that?
1400
00:51:15.440 --> 00:51:16.539
You can find a picture of it.
1401
00:51:16.860 --> 00:51:18.619
Witch Me in a blue.
1402
00:51:18.719 --> 00:51:21.280
We'll drop it in and it'll be on our Instagram.
1403
00:51:21.539 --> 00:51:22.139
Witch Me?
1404
00:51:22.639 --> 00:51:25.780
So it's called Witch the Company. It was like a
1405
00:51:25.860 --> 00:51:27.889
summer campaign they did. It's a still. I was on
1406
00:51:27.909 --> 00:51:28.659
the side of buses.
1407
00:51:29.119 --> 00:51:29.280
Why?
1408
00:51:29.739 --> 00:51:31.510
Yeah, it was mad. My friends were like, what is this?
1409
00:51:31.530 --> 00:51:34.269
I was like, it was for the kids. So I
1410
00:51:34.289 --> 00:51:35.849
had to pay to go to uni. That was why.
1411
00:51:36.610 --> 00:51:37.849
But basically....
1412
00:51:39.079 --> 00:51:41.119
So is it all going in like a uni fund, basically?
1413
00:51:41.159 --> 00:51:44.360
Yeah, basically, yeah. She's made, she's paid a couple years
1414
00:51:44.400 --> 00:51:44.889
off already.
1415
00:51:45.090 --> 00:51:45.550
Oh, wow.
1416
00:51:45.590 --> 00:51:48.929
Yeah, but she did a wet wipe thing that became good.
1417
00:51:49.210 --> 00:51:51.230
And because of the buyout for like print stuff.
1418
00:51:51.250 --> 00:51:51.369
Yeah.
1419
00:51:51.739 --> 00:51:54.539
If it gets used again... You get a little bonus. Yeah,
1420
00:51:54.559 --> 00:51:55.940
so every now and then we just get a little
1421
00:51:55.960 --> 00:51:57.639
thing through from the wet wipe thing that's kind of.
1422
00:51:57.639 --> 00:51:59.519
And it all just goes into her account. That's amazing.
1423
00:51:59.579 --> 00:52:00.420
Into her account, yeah.
1424
00:52:00.519 --> 00:52:02.679
Yeah, so they're just gobbling it up, these people on
1425
00:52:03.099 --> 00:52:03.599
social media.
1426
00:52:03.619 --> 00:52:04.980
They're just taking their own money. I don't know what's
1427
00:52:05.000 --> 00:52:07.500
happening there. I don't feel right about it, personally. But
1428
00:52:08.039 --> 00:52:09.920
only legitimate channels.
1429
00:52:10.389 --> 00:52:11.610
Absolutely. Only legitimate channels.
1430
00:52:11.619 --> 00:52:12.800
No, not questioning you're not.
1431
00:52:12.909 --> 00:52:14.730
No. Just saying, though, as an expert in the field,
1432
00:52:14.769 --> 00:52:16.780
you may... Because I always look at them adverts and go,
1433
00:52:16.789 --> 00:52:17.449
who's getting the money here?
1434
00:52:17.590 --> 00:52:17.949
Yeah.
1435
00:52:18.250 --> 00:52:19.869
No, but you have to... So for that witch one, we...
1436
00:52:21.159 --> 00:52:23.980
We got paid a kind of an overall fee.
1437
00:52:24.300 --> 00:52:24.460
Yeah.
1438
00:52:24.539 --> 00:52:26.460
And then we just put it in the kids' accounts.
1439
00:52:26.619 --> 00:52:28.900
Oh, right.
1440
00:52:28.940 --> 00:52:31.159
Me, mum running into the, you know, the sea.
1441
00:52:31.179 --> 00:52:32.480
Yeah, you were the one taking the bullet there. You
1442
00:52:32.500 --> 00:52:33.500
were in a swimsuit running.
1443
00:52:33.320 --> 00:52:35.780
Into the sea. Were you swimsuited up?
1444
00:52:35.989 --> 00:52:36.760
I was swimsuited up.
1445
00:52:36.849 --> 00:52:37.670
On the side of a bus?
1446
00:52:37.730 --> 00:52:38.989
And I didn't know. It was like, oh.
1447
00:52:39.070 --> 00:52:41.010
And the kids are getting paid.
1448
00:52:41.090 --> 00:52:43.610
It's a beach family day out was the shoot. And
1449
00:52:43.650 --> 00:52:45.929
then like the day before, they're like, how are you
1450
00:52:45.969 --> 00:52:49.320
in open water? I can't swim. For the purpose of
1451
00:52:49.340 --> 00:52:53.239
people listening to this audibly, I'm black. I don't swim.
1452
00:52:53.800 --> 00:52:55.019
All right.
1453
00:52:55.159 --> 00:52:56.780
So I can't. And they're like, oh, would you feel
1454
00:52:56.840 --> 00:52:59.440
OK going in? I was like, not really. And then
1455
00:52:59.900 --> 00:53:02.840
on the day, they're like, so the shoot is, you're
1456
00:53:02.860 --> 00:53:05.420
all a bunch of mum friends. You've taken to open
1457
00:53:05.460 --> 00:53:08.539
water swimming. You're going to run into the sea and
1458
00:53:08.559 --> 00:53:09.960
then we're going to run out again. You're not going
1459
00:53:09.980 --> 00:53:11.880
to go in just going up to, you know, chin height.
1460
00:53:12.079 --> 00:53:14.320
Oh, my God.
1461
00:53:15.139 --> 00:53:16.570
You're going to run in. And we were in this.
1462
00:53:16.789 --> 00:53:17.750
Did you tell him you couldn't swim?
1463
00:53:18.130 --> 00:53:20.239
Yeah, and they're like, you don't have to. You're just
1464
00:53:20.280 --> 00:53:23.380
wading in. And it was obviously to look like summer,
1465
00:53:23.400 --> 00:53:26.820
but filmed in March in wherever it was, somewhere.
1466
00:53:26.840 --> 00:53:28.139
And your kids are there with you?
1467
00:53:28.420 --> 00:53:31.880
Kids are there with us. They're in their catering tent
1468
00:53:31.940 --> 00:53:34.389
with a chaperone, me and Richard tag-teaming in. Because the
1469
00:53:34.409 --> 00:53:35.710
chaperones are a thing as well. You've got to leave
1470
00:53:35.730 --> 00:53:38.389
your kid with somebody who's legally qualified to watch them.
1471
00:53:39.130 --> 00:53:41.429
And then we're in this van. and we're all like
1472
00:53:41.469 --> 00:53:43.710
talking with other women and we were actually talking about
1473
00:53:43.750 --> 00:53:46.869
quite like emotional things about like anxieties and kind of
1474
00:53:46.909 --> 00:53:49.269
female bodies and changes and menopause and all this stuff.
1475
00:53:49.630 --> 00:53:51.489
And it was really a heartfelt conversation. It was like, oh,
1476
00:53:51.489 --> 00:53:53.199
you know, thanks for sharing that about, you know, your
1477
00:53:53.219 --> 00:53:55.380
life and your struggles. There was a, a lady who
1478
00:53:55.400 --> 00:53:57.860
was deaf and she had a really lovely moment. And
1479
00:53:57.880 --> 00:54:00.820
the door flies open. It's like, hello, ladies. My name's Brian.
1480
00:54:00.840 --> 00:54:02.260
I'm from the RNLI. I'm going to talk to you
1481
00:54:02.280 --> 00:54:03.239
about riptides.
1482
00:54:03.340 --> 00:54:05.460
What?
1483
00:54:06.110 --> 00:54:06.699
Riptides?
1484
00:54:06.739 --> 00:54:09.010
I didn't think I was going to get sucked into
1485
00:54:09.030 --> 00:54:11.969
the North Sea or wherever it was. But anyway, Google it.
1486
00:54:11.989 --> 00:54:12.789
You'll find me.
1487
00:54:13.010 --> 00:54:13.969
On the internet.
1488
00:54:16.750 --> 00:54:18.929
That's it for this episode of Parenting Health.